Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Summer S’mores with Conan and the Chill Chums Season 3 Episode 6

Episode Date: August 31, 2023

On the Summer S'mores finale, Conan expresses his deep and profound shame at his own indulgence around the campfire.

This special episode of Summer Smores is presented by Solo Stove. Solo Stove is uniquely designed to burn off smoke before it ever escapes the top of the fire pit. Trust us once you've sat around a smoke with fire, you'll never want to go back. Go check them out at solostove.com, use promo code Conan to get 10 dollars off your new pit. Summer Smores with Conan and the Childchumps,

a six-part series with Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Sessian, and Mac Gory. Let's get started. Hey there, welcome to the final installment, 2023 Summer S'mores. This is kind of the postgame, the wrap-up. Been a couple of days. We've all had time to think about our actions, a couple of days, we've all had time to think about our actions, to check on the police records, to view the hidden cameras. And it's like, you know, I think of this as one of those episodes they have after a reality show is done

when they get the, everyone together. The reunions? The reunions. And they're all on stage and. We don't look as nice. I know, but the point is we talk about how so-and-a-lost or shit and screamed at me and then, you know, Gory and I made out, but we didn't tell. Bridget, I just made up that name.

You'd be terrible on a reality show. You know, it'd be happening on any reality show. I would just be, I'd want to work out and I would want to get my sleep and I would rehydrate a lot. And the producers would keep nudging me and saying, don't you want to go over there and flirt with the girl and then have a fight with that guy? And I'd be like, nah, it just seems kind of awkward. Wait, there's your cameras and you're, you're not going up against the cameras. Like you'd be so drawn to the cameras like a lot to find. I do I'd be sitting at a desk working on something and then occasionally mugging at a camera

Oh yeah, and making little faces and thinking that that in any way competes with two young people doing it rolling around together and I'd be like yeah they can roll around all they want with their fantastic naked bodies that are slightly blurred. But here I am reading Samuel Johnson's version of the dictionary and making my groucho faces to the camera. And then pausing to rehydrate before eight and a half hours of sleep. Nothing lasts the doctor says And then finally at some point they would convince someone to come up to me and go like hey Conan Do you want to make out? How do I rather not? Cooties!

I wear a wedding ring. This is my bond to my betrothed Back to my Samuel Johnson. Anyway, let's get into it. Do you want to recap, Gourley? I thought it was a first fall. I thought, I want to say a couple of things. I thought the pizza was delicious.

The drinks were amazing. Thank you. Quite potent. Want to talk about what, give us your blow by blow. Well, I think they were maybe, I don't know if they were stronger this year or I was more susceptible, but I got a little sloppier this year than last time, I think they were maybe, I don't know if they were stronger this year or I was more susceptible, but I got a little sloppier this year than last time, I think. Got fucked up. Yeah, you did.

Yeah, I did. Yeah, but it was nice. I really like that sona, I like all sonas. Oh, and you don't have a bad drink, personally, or some people like demons come out. Conan would disagree. No, no, no, no, you're very nice and friendly when you imbibe. A sweetness, there's a sweet person.

But don't we, we've had, we've like fought. Like I've gone after you. Well, yeah, physically, you're physically attacked. Not often. Sort of like any animal went threatened. No, you have, but I don't think so. I think you're actually very, very nice. I think most of the times that you and I have had a real argument or I've seen you lose

your temper, alcohol wasn't involved at all. You might be right. It's just, you know, you see red when you see red and then you don't contain yourself. And mostly I've seen you go after other people, not me, which is fun. Look at when it's not me. Oh, and then you don't contain yourself. And mostly I've seen you go after other people, not me, which is fun. Look at when it's not me. Oh, no, you don't. You're embarrassed because you're there with me.

Not just distance myself very quickly and I'll say, what can you do? She has rabies, you know? She was bit by a very sick rabbit last week. I drove here, but did not drive back. That's how that's where I was. I took a lift home. Yeah, well, I thought because we're all gonna be sampling

ahead of time. I mean, I made the plan to get a lift here and then get a lift home. So I just knew that because I'd be having some alcohol, like let's not even mess with that here anymore. Well, I'm responsible. Well, I'm sorry, but yeah. I didn't leave my car here.

Wait, so you're saying that you, you're saying Sona that you thought there's a chance that you might not drink? Yeah, I really, I legitimately thought I would be okay, especially since we were eating pizza. That's like kids just saying, oh, take off, I'll be alright. Oh, oh, be fine.

No, it's hilarious. I wrote in with Sonan knowing exactly that I could get a ride home from my wife who was coming in thinking, I'm not driving home, there's no way. And Sonan was my ride in. Yeah. It's because you leave your car here?

I did. Yeah, and I was prepared for a ticket. But that's how I did it when I was younger. I would drive somewhere, leave my car there and come, I've had my car towed three times. Right. Like that's just part of the world. You just, I love that you could have that kind of reckless abandon.

Yeah. You probably, if you had to, you would leave your car somewhere. Yeah, now, but when I was younger, I would have been worried about it being towed. Oh, but if it's towed, you just find out where it's towed and then you get it back. Well, I think it sounds so reasonable.

Yeah, and you make it sound enjoyable. That's the worst I've had to do that. It's not enjoyable. It's like your car places and then they tell it and you find out where it was toad. Yeah, did you target toad or ticket it? Today, I mean, no, no, no, it didn't. I got it was fine. And I came back, it was fine.

Why? Yeah, I know. I looked out, but it's been, there've been times when it's gotten toad where crazy Sona came out and I would yell at people, but it didn't work. So I think we can all admit that we, first of all, I'll say that those drinks are very deceptive because you don't think you're drinking alcohol because it's rum-based. It's got a little deceptive. It's so friendly, you feel like you're just sipping on a nice, fruity drink. It's so smooth. And then the next thing you know,

you're wearing your pants on your head. And that's, I think I had no joke, I had five. Oh my God, really? Wow. Okay. I had a lot. Yeah, it was tasty. I ate a lot of pizza.

I did too. I had a lot of faces. You know, I actually am more embarrassed about my pizza consumption because I am a Tasmanian devil when it comes to pizza. Yeah. And you've seen this, Sonia. But what happened was, so they bring out the pizzas

and we all, we don't even have to eat them all. But I know they were meant to be just kind of displayed. To display and I inhaled mine. And then I was looking around like a feral animal to see if anyone else had extra pizza. But then, remember, they made these experimental pizzas. They were just sort of supposed to be a joke, meaning here's one that looks like Conan's face.

That's what I was talking about. No, no, I'm talking about the first one. Oh, yeah. The first one I was supposed to eat. Yeah, but like, you don't have to eat the whole thing. I inhale that. I just basically thought, this is a communion wafer. Yeah.

I'm going to shove this whole thing in my mouth and it's the body and blood of Christ. And down we go. But then they brought out these display ones, which we weren't even supposed to eat. And I noticed at one point, you guys are chatting and I'm realizing, I haven't been talking for a while and my name is on the podcast and it's because I'm forcing the display pizza Into my esophagus not even chewing it. I'm just shoving it down

Yeah, there was a point at which we had stopped recording really okay, so we could take these and you're like no and you no I let us take no no I was, I was like, because I admit, my drug is a carb. That's, that's a good. It really is. Like, I admit, I have no self control. So, I think I can have self control around all kinds of substances that other people have problems with. But if it's a pizza, it doesn't even have to be a particularly good one. Well, to that point, these display pizzas had disproportionate toppings so that they could make our faces. So some of them would have like a pound of pepperoni on them

or all sliced cheese. Mine had buttons from overcoats. Korean War, Siemens jackets, and I was just, I didn't care. I was just making it go, it's go into stomach, you know, get in my belly. Yours had mushrooms, which you, I don't even eat mushrooms. Yeah, and I was shoving them down my face, and at one point, Blay goes to take them away from me, and I'm like, don't touch the precious.

Precious. Blaze wants the precious. And then you just see me, I was wearing just a loincloth and I grabbed my half pizza and I scuttled through some caves over some wet rocks and I have just a few hairs on my head combed over strategically. Has the ones I want. Has the blaze wants the precious. But Coney has the precious.

I was inhaling it and I'm like cookie monster where thing I've always been amazed with cookie monster is most the cookie isn't going in. Well it's a puppet. It's a puppet and so I know. But I love that he's just the cookie just hate to play it to you He's just it's just flying yeah, and there's you know They could have given cookie monster a tiny a tiny orifice in there. No, they could have given him something No, but no cookies just bouncing off left and right you were like like a wood chipper where it goes

Yeah just bouncing off left and right. You were like a wood chipper where it goes, ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg Sony, you will attest that I try, but I have a spin it shake that I make in the morning. You do. You are, I think generally speaking, you're a very healthy person. And a very healthy person, but when I go off, I don't go slightly off the rails. When it's time for me to go rogue, it's pure insanity. So this wasn't planned because I've been trying to be healthy too, and I knew on this day, all bets were off. I was going to have as much I wanted to drink and as much pizzas I wanted,

because that's just the circumstance. You came in. He was also fuzzed. Oh yeah, I mean, when you're fuzzed, right? You're out of sight. He's also acting and during these episodes too, is acting like he wasn't affected by the drink. And you were slurring your speech more than I think

he would care to make. Well, that's the, I mean, first of all, I, you know, your bout to apologize. Oh, but I had had a're about to apologize. Oh. But I had had a major cerebral event really. Yeah. Yeah, major, major cerebral, a major brain bleed. Unfortunately, you know, we took care of it.

I waited a couple of days, which is always the best thing to do when you're having a day. Just wait a few days and then just the neurologist. I rubbed some grass. No, no, I had, I wouldn't say I got crazy, but I, yeah, I had some rum. Yeah. I had some rum, but I think I was more filled with shame

about the pizza. Summer Swords Series is back. Each year we gather on a solo still fire pit. It's kind of nice. You get to it. I'll tell you guys, I love you too. I'm okay. I know. And I love each other. You can tell you guys. I love you too. I'm okay. I know.

I love each other. So it's just okay. This your solo stove, so send us the bonfire. It's designed to put out some serious heat without putting off that dirty S word. You know what I'm talking about? Smoke. Yeah. It's like I tell you.

The solo stove is uniquely designed to burn off smoke before it ever escapes the top of the fire pit. Once you set around a smokeless fire, you'll never wanna go back. Guys, correct me if I'm wrong. I've sat around some fires in my day, okay? Smoke gets in my eyes, I start crying. People think I'm having an emotional breakdown.

I'm taken away and put into an institution. There's no smoke here. We got a nice fire, we got some heat, but no smoke. That's why we know you're crying is actually just emotional and not smoke. Exactly, yes. I'm crying because I'm with two people I love very much. Oh.

Oh, wait, who's here? That's us. Oh, wait, sorry, my glasses weren't on. Anyway, so, so, as multiple different colors that are portable, so you can take it into the back country and go to the beach, you can go up multiple different colors that are portable, so you can take it into the backcountry, you can go to the beach, you can go up to the top of a mountain, you're going to a deep cave, it looks good,

it works great, plus it has a lifetime warranty, which means we could do easily 7,000 seasons of this show. That's all right. Any, well, I'd like to retire at some point. I don't think so, your family has said they're fine with you working. Anyway, we could do a lot of seasons and that solo stove would keep on cooking. Go check them out.

It's solostove.com and use promo code Conan to get $10 off your new pit. So did you come into that night thinking you weren't gonna drink that much and you were gonna eat that much or what was? Yeah, I think I thought I'll nibble a bit and then what happens is You really said no you didn't think that I did I did think you thought I'm gonna stop myself Yeah, I did I know I don't know me. It's like there's certain food I know if it's put in front of you you

You blank out and then it's just, there's crumbs that, like you do that with popcorn. Yeah, oh my God, cheese popcorn. Yeah. If people want to know my true weakness, a very good cheese popcorn, yeah. It's all inhibitions go.

And. It's scary. But I've always been this way about cheese popcorn. And anyone who knows me well, like my brothers and sisters know that if they wanted me to, no way sometimes, very rarely, but you've heard about bank robbers will kidnap someone, will strap a bomb to his chest

and they'll see you have to go and rob that bank. And it's like, oh my God, this is so evil, but the person has no choice. If they let me have a little bit of cheese popcorn from a bag and then took it away, and I said, I need to give me the rest, and I would say, we'll give you the rest, but you have to go into that city bank and rob it.

And the note I would pass would be, they have the rest of my cheese popcorn, and the teller would be saying, what, that's, that'd be pointing up a note. I have the rest of my cheese popcorn. And the teller would be saying, what? That's, that'd be pointing up and no. I have the rest of my cheese popcorn. I got to have a quarter of the bag, but there's still three quarters of the bag.

And they've put a clip on it to keep it from drying out. The bank is right next to a popcorn. Yeah, and then I'm just, they're like, well, what's the big deal? We have cheese popcorn. No, it's the really good It's that kind from Chicago. It's really has extra cheddar on real cheddar And I have multiple notes. I keep hand in the more notes

I just don't know which or I'm robbing your bank. No, well then finally there's one They're like, sir, what is the point of all these you have nine notes here about how you want this cheese popcorn? Are you making a deposit with Daryl? What are we doing here? Oh, I'm sorry. Here's this note. Note number 75. Give me money.

No, we're not giving you money. What do we care if you get your cheese popcorn or not? And then I have a note that you see I quickly scribbled that just says I have bomb on chest. And they're like, no, no, you know, we saw you just write that. And you're just wearing a t-shirt. And there's clearly nothing on it except cheese dust. So, so sir, please leave the bank. Then I'm back there. I tried.'s the popcorn you don't get the popcorn failed in your mission I go in with lots of notes

Lots of notes I can't even I can't even so your generation So your generation what's yours? It's groovy 70s and everything's groovy 70s and everything's groovy. You dumb millennials and boomers. Ha ha ha ha. You're stupid. It's radical man.

My generation is crank up the Oingo Blingo. It's time to lose it. My generation is more synthesizer. More fake drums. They had used real drums on Betty Davis's size. It would suck. Hey, my mom went to high school, Kim Karnes. Is that true?

Who's that? She's saying Betty Davis' eyes. Betty Davis' eyes. I thought that was Rod Stewart. What? That's a woman. No. Kim Karnes.

Hold on. What song am I thinking of? He's a trucker. And she knows just what it takes, right? She's Kim Karn. Hold on, what song am I thinking of? He's a trotchist and she knows just what it takes, right? She's got big days. To make the pro block. To pick a pro block. I talked about this with Grace Potter.

I talked about this with the amazing Grace Potter and she does an amazing Kim Karn. Really? I mean, close your eyes and you think this is Kim Karn's and she says, the rhyme was, she's atrocious and she knows just how to make a pro blush. Wow. You're like, oh my lord.

I didn't realize there was a third rhyme in that. Yeah. Wow. Remember that parody of, she's got Marty Feldman. Oh, I don't remember that. Love Marty Feldman. Yeah. Well, we went from an obscure reference.

Great great little Uh, tangent there guys. Sorry about that. Every now and then we like to try and shake off all our listeners. Yeah. It's like shaking a tail in a movie like hey, did we get rid of them and we're looking at the back window. They're following us. Okay, let's make this one. Let's make, oh, go and put it go. reference. Let's do this. Let's do that. Okay, we lost. There's still two on us.

Okay, Kim Karns. Okay, there's still one following us. Marty Feldman. Marty Feldman. Okay, we're in the clear. Let's go. Let's go rub that back. Let me go rub that back.

Now with my nine notes. Conan O'Brien needs a friend, the podcast that dares you to listen to it. People should know Marty Feldman. He was I Gore in Young Frankenstein, brilliant comedy writer who actually was quite influential and popular and a big star when the pythons were coming up. This is good that you end up your reference with a lecture. It's not a cute people. Well, I think people should know Marty Feldman. He's one of the funniest people. Python's were coming up. This is good that you end up your reference with a lecture. Yes.

It's not a cute people. Well, I think people should know Marty Feldman. He's one of the funniest people of all time. Okay. Have you watched Young Frankenstein? I did a long time ago and I don't remember most of the things I watched. It's actually kind of a perfect comedy.

There are very few perfect comedies and Young Frankenstein is one of them. It's really amazing. Okay. I don't remember like anything I watched yesterday. It's all in black and white. Jean Wilder. Oh, pass. Oh, come on. Don't worry, I don't remember like anything I watched yesterday. So I'm black and white, Jean Wilder. Oh, cast.

Oh, damn. Don't worry, some of they've colorized it. Don't worry, they've colorized it. Yeah. I've watched black and white. So they've colorized it and they've had system, added system of a down music. Oh, hell yeah.

Oh, no, you're in. Okay, no one. Yeah, you're in. Oh, God. Oh, God. Anyone who watches it gets freemargues. Skini Mars. Skinny Mars. Well, I know I did have a good time.

I did have shame about the way I ate, and I'm embarrassed about that. No judgment here, man. We had a lot to drink. We all were buddies, and we had each other's back. We held each other's hair, proverbily, as we threw up. The question is, next year, what's it gonna be? Yeah, what do we do? We're gonna do this again.

Oh yeah, we're going on a trip. Next year, and I'm not drinking next year. What? Yes you are. Why can't we all just like take an edible? That'll be fun. Okay, we could do that. I say we take an edible or mushrooms and go to Vegas.

Okay. Oh, that sounds good. I don't know. I hate vases. I love vases. I don't do ed edible or mushrooms and go to Vegas. Okay. Oh, that sounds good. I don't know. I hate vays. I love vays. I don't do edibles or mushrooms. Oh. Square.

Well, I mean, tell me about mushrooms. Would that be a good experience for me? I honestly don't know. I don't know. I've never done them. I bought them once, but couldn't carve out enough time to do them. So I've never done them either. I have microdose in it.

It just made me nauseous. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Some people get that. But I'll do it. Well, we could do is Molly illegal. How about heroin? That's that's cool. Right? We can do over the counter heroin. Yeah. You know, I love when Sonia said, I bought these drugs, but I didn't carve out the time. I thought, I love a drug addict who's just a poor planner. And so busy.

Yeah, and it's just like, you know, hey, did you get the stuff? I did. I got the stuff. I got the hair. I got the black tar heroin. Yeah. Did you get the spoon? Fuck.

Oh, and I really have the spoon. I can't fit this in. No, and then I got to get the kids to the pool. To promise and then I have to. Promise I get the accurate of the mechanics. Yeah, no, I still don't know what that knocking sound is. Yeah, but what about the stuff, huh? Oh, we'll get to that later. Can we just do it later?

Yeah, just table it. Yeah, did you get the rubber thing that ties off the, no, no, no. I figured we'd have that around the house. Look, we can't do this now. My mother-in-law's here in half an hour. Did you fix the whole in the bean bag chair? No.

Be back. All right, well listen, I had a good time. I do enjoy you guys and I do want to say thank you to Matt, because you did a lot of the work. So you made a great drink. Oh, I just, you're lovely wife helped out. Yeah, Sarah and Amanda and all Sarah was a big help. There's a whole crew of people helping out.

Our crew is the best crew. I'm really, really, a lot of people deserve a shout out. Eduardo, you were there. Mikey, Josh for shooting the video. Chills. Yeah. And the solo stove guys who made us the same thing.

You know what I have to say? You mean the Chris, right? I know we don't even have to mention it because it's not required, but those solo stove people that brought that pizza oven, they did an amazing job. Yeah, it is. And they were very nice too.

I want my pizza solo stove. DG and Chris. Is there still a solo stove here for me to take home? No, that one stays at the building. You have to go out and buy your own. No, I was promised a solo stove. That's the only reason I did this. No, no, you thought you were promised a solo stove.

I did. What I told you was have another drink. Oh. Okay. You just interpreted that. Snookered again. All right, we'll see you guys next time. Hope you're enjoying your summer.

That's like one of those yearbooks. Like when people sign your books, have a good summer or a. A.I.T. With some guilt involved, like hope you're in your summer. Hope you're enjoying your summer with the world, the state it's in. That's what I want it to sound like. Hey, hope you're having a good time. Canada's on fire. Enjoy your summer asshole. I've got to go rob a bank. I'll be back. Summer Smores with Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Sessian and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley.

Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Leal, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Your Wolf. Themesong by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our Associate Talent Producer is Jennifer Samples, engineering by Eduardo Perez, additional production support by Mars Melnick, talent

booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Con. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the team Coco Hotline at 3-2-3-451-2821 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien, Needs A Friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever Fine Podcasts are down.

you