Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Sword Play

Episode Date: June 11, 2026

Conan chats with Zach, an animator from Ohio, about proposing underneath a cosmic event and designing his own trading card game.   Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? Submit here: teamcoco.com/apply Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/conan. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamco.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started. Hello. Hi, Zach. Welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Hey, Matt.

How you doing? I'm good. How are you? How are you doing there? Zach Tarantelli is your name. I'm not asking. I'm telling. You're an animator from Ohio.

Is that correct, sir? That's 100% correct. And I can tell from looking at you that you are a ginger. Welcome to the club. Just in the beard, though. The hair is like blonde, like dirty blonde. Okay, that's very strange.

That's probably a sign of insanity. But I think we just have to accept it for now. I know that my beard comes in redder than my hair. Oh, wow. Yeah, it's more aggressively like copper. No idea what that is. Yet below the waist, uh-oh.

Blonde. Nobody asked. Blonde. It's like fiber optic. It's just like seethru. Yeah. And also it changes. You know what it does?

That's so deep down that you can kind of. And you know what? It changes colors like the sphere. A lot of rock bands want to perform down there. Anyway, let's move on. Zach, it says here, and I have notes on you. Oh, I've got an old dossier on you, Zach, that you are the head of animation for Zach D. films. Is that right?

That's right. Different Zach, but yes. Okay. That's all right. Doesn't matter. Two Zachs conquering the world together. And you guys are very successful. It says you have 27 million followers and you've done, you're an animator of over 70 shorts. Is that correct? I personally animated 70 shorts for the channel before I moved into my current position. That's so cool. That's, I mean, first of all, I'm a long fan of animation, raised on the very best of the Warner Brothers cartoons, the classics, worked on the Simpson.

So I've always loved animation and admire what you people do. I really do. What do you love about it? Well, I love that it sort of brings the... First of, you can do anything. Anything can happen. And so whether it's Renan Stimpy

or a classic Roadrunner Bugs Bunny, and so many of the great animated shows today, anything can happen that's in your imagination and it can really get perverse, which is my true joy. A hundred percent. And I know that you would love that because you're basically a cartoon yourself.

You know what? Thank you for saying that because I do, I've often thought, I'm a cartoon character. My motions are exaggerated. My hair is a ridiculous cupcake. I act like Woody Woodpecker. Yeah.

And, yeah. You look like olive oil. Pardon me? Nothing. What was that? Nothing. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Listen, I heard what you said, and I don't disagree. Popeye before the spinach. No, no. Even better. Yeah. A blend of Popeye before the spinach, yeah, and olive oil. Okay, so that's all to be admired, Zach, that you have these amazing skills.

and I'm glad you think of me as a cartoon character. Please turn me into one because there has yet to be a successful Conan animated short. And I think that's your territory, Zach. You could do it. Well, it's so funny you bring this up. And I feel like the producers are going to hate me because we just talked about this. But I did do a little animation for you. And I was going to email it to somebody.

But I got to tell you, here's the thing. What's the matter? The problem is, it doesn't. It's great. He's a great animator. and yeah, he made a little short. What's the problem? Why, you know?

The problem is that great animation takes time, and I only had like two days to put it together. So I don't know if I want the world. I did it for Conan. Yeah, for Conan. Well, why can't we look at it? I'll send it. Well, I want to send it to you,

but I don't know if I want the world to see it. You know what I mean? It's got my name on it. Is it intimate? Is it of a sexual nature? I mean, some could interpret it. I such. Okay.

Okay. No, it's fun. It's just, you know, we will not share it. You know, we won't share it with the world. If you send it to me and then it accidentally gets online and it's attached as Zach D films and people rate your work based on that. That's just who can help that? That's something that we can help. You see my conundrum.

I lead a two of men talented artists. Sorry, a little self-obsessed. Are we cutting this soon? Are we ending this? Oh, no, no, no. Your career is over, but my interview with you will continue. Oh, look, there's some weaponry on the wall behind you. Not only that, but there's dedicated lighting for the weaponry.

I know. I had to be all extra about the light. That's okay. We have someone in studio who also likes to buy medieval weapons online and then sort of charge them back to the show. His name's Aaron Blair. And he's currently being investigated by the Internal Revenue Service along with his mother. When I, uh, when I, thank you for the introduction. When I preview, Zach, the first thing I asked was about the swords.

And the last thing you asked. We talked about for like half an hour. But I was asking about the swords. And they are, they're the same sword, right, Zach? It's the same. It's, yeah. So it is a replica of Aragorn sword and guru, which was reforged, uh, Narsil. Oh, his and hers.

Yeah, so they are both, the story is I have a, like an eight foot one behind the computer, and it didn't have a sheath. So I bought a cheap knockoff for the sheath, but the sheath is too small, and they sent me to. You guys just want to have your own podcast. Are you Blaine? You've never seen Conan so angry. I just, I have. No, I mean, hey, this is a problem we all confront. You buy an Aragon sword.

It's too large. The sheath is gone. You need to find the sheath. You buy a knockoff. That sheath is too small. Then you've got two Aragon swords. Then you think I need a third one because it's got to be his and hers.

And then I get two tinier versions to the same Aragon sword. I wish nothing but ill upon you, sir. I hope a plague of locusts fly up your ass. You can wish whatever you want. I have three swords. Now, remarkably, you have a fiance.

Believe it or not, I do. And her name, it says, her name is Ash, is that right? That's right. Tell us about Ash. And is she okay with you having the swords of Aragon? Is she cool with it? She was just bummed because she was going to buy me one and then it seemed egregious at that point. Yeah, yeah.

Well, I think you found the right person. For every Mickey, there's a mini. And you found someone who was reaching for. the same Aragon sword as you at Colonel Busters Shop of Bullshittery No, I do want to talk about Ash because she is amazing. She's like the most beautiful

woman. I mean, she's incredibly talented. She's a singer. She's an actor. She's a writer. We met working at a regional theater together, both writing sketch comedy and performing at that's lovely. So she's the love of your life. She's got a contract and soul-made. So, by every definition of the work. Oh, I'm very happy for you, Zach.

Thank you. Is this correct? She's kind of into mysticism? Let's elaborate on that. Tell us about to Ash. She's a spiritual person, you know, has warmed me up a bit to the idea, warmed this cold heart to, you know, accept there may be something bigger than ourselves out there.

Yes, your sword. She's eight feet long. Yes. Hanging behind your fucking computer. What's your obsession with my sword? I just can't forget about your big sword. Yeah, your eight-foot raw dog. All right, take it easy.

She has a very close relationship to the moon. What? And you're not jealous? I know, how do you get that? Talk about this. She's into the moon. What do you mean she's into the moon? I mean, she, you know, ebbs and flows like the tie.

It's with the moon. I mean, she's connected like, I think, a lot of spiritual people are, maybe they don't know it. You're saying she's aware of it? Yeah. No, but you know, it's interesting. This is interesting is that you could say it's not crazy to think the moon would have a significance on our lives because we are made of water and we all know that the moon

controls the tides, affects the tides and is responsible for them. So is it possible then that the moon would have significance in our moods and our destinies? no it's not possible I typically discounted so glad we saw that mind shut okay she'll host like little like coven nights

surrounding the new moon and the full moon because there's lots of psychology actually behind planting seeds and you know manifesting them through the power of thought. I love that shit. What's that? I love...

Spoken like a true spiritualist. I love that shit. Um... It's just spicy psychology. Does this affect the way you schedule things with Ash? Do you try to look at what the moon is up to if you're going to make a reservation or there's a big event coming up? Do you consult the moon?

Do you let the moon guide your actions? Well, I actually, I proposed underneath a super blood moon lunar eclipse. Oh, whoa. And, uh, okay. So you knew what date that was happening. You had to propose. Did you try to, I mean, how does that work? Do you have to wait at night because you want the moon to be out, right?

Yeah. So I, you know, um, I, I told her, hey, uh, what about, you know, in a week and three days, we have our regularly scheduled nighttime picnics, you know, like we have never done before. And she was like, okay. That's weird. I'm sure. And then of course, after I proposed and she said yes, she told me that she actually had it marked on her calendar, expect proposal this day.

Oh, she is a witch. Can't you, couldn't you have done a better job of surprising her? I mean, you know, I could have tried. You know what you do? You wait, you make sure you're in the house at the moment and then you yell fire and she has to go outside right oh that's good yeah you need me in your life where were you where were you when I was planning this I fear the moon I can get I am so pale I can get a moon burn my dermatologist just said avoid day and night um okay so uh you and ash what are your plans for the future do Do you have the same values?

Do you have the same fears? I mean, I think we have values and fears that align. You know, we both value a lot of the same things, like being a good person and putting positivity out into the world. You know, I think that the energy you put out is very similar to the energy that you attract, whether that is spiritualism or psychology. I think it's all the same thing, really. But we both try to live our lives, recognizing.

the day that we have today is the good old days and really trying to appreciate what we have now before we're old like some people and you know what looking back what what okay now

is this true you you don't want to get too old it sounds like you don't you guys don't want to get too old you want to stay young and then call it quits at what age what age do you think you'd like to go out at I have the benefit of being a young man And so I have often joked that I would, you know, if I could go out at 75, I think 75 is enough life lived. No, what are you talking about?

I don't know that I want to live much longer. I mean, at that point, you're just a burden to the people around. This is name dropy, but I had the great privilege of getting to introduce the Rolling Stones a couple of days ago at this big event. And I believe Mick Jagger is 82. That guy's having the time of his life. And if you said, I want to, I want out at 75, he would laugh at you. And then kick your ass. You, there's no, you can't kick my ass, though.

Oh, he could. You know why? He has nine security guards that could kick. He would just point to you. He would be the one responsible for your ass kicking, but he wouldn't do the ass kicking. Anyway, I think you will be amending that when you're 74. I agree. Of course.

You know, by the time I get up there, I'll probably want a couple more years. But I actually, that's pushing the 76. Yeah. You know, just hitting the snooze button on me. Yes, yeah. I love that idea. That's how life works. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah. You start to hear AM radio and you're like, no. I want a few more years. But I mean, that's, that is a fear of mine is reaching an age where I no longer know who I am. Well, I hit that about four years ago. And let me tell you, it's not bad. Because I've forgotten many of my heinous crimes. Right.

So it's all just a dim memory to me. No, I appreciate wanting to stay young, but you can't, you can't plan that. now, you know. But how, let's say you guys both hit 75 and you want out, how are you going to do it? We've actually talked about this. We've discussed two ways. They're both very different. First is going out Thelma and Louise style, getting in a car and just driving right off

the Grand Canyon. Then we're going out together. Yeah. You know, at the same time. And the other way is, you know, the last of us, Nick Offerman style with some pills in the glass of wine and, you know, just fall asleep together. Wow, this got super depressing. I would combine them.

None of these involve your Aragorn swords? Yeah. You've got those swords. You might as well use them. You know what I would think? People romanticize that Thelma and Louise ending. I know me. And if I was in that car with my beloved

and we went off the cliff of the Grand Canyon, my whole thought the way down would be someone's got to get this car out of the Grand Canyon. And I would feel like, oh, that's a drag. And people are going to be mad at me. And what if we hit, You would do it, but you would leave, like, let's say, a $2,500 check behind for cleaning services. For crane services, yeah.

I think it's going to be more than that, actually, to get that out. But I don't care if they have to split the difference. Trust me, I've looked into this. Yeah, I don't know. I just say, don't even worry about it. Your death is not your concern. Just enjoy life for now, and then when the time is nigh, grab seven of your swords and jump on them. Yeah, I, you know, I don't know if I want to go out in that flashy of a way.

I think the peaceful options. Yeah, just a car off the Grand Canyon. After having had hotel sex with Brad Pitt. Yeah. It's, hey, that's peaceful to me. It's just open sky right in front of you, you know, it sounds great. So besides your obsession with these Aragon swords, and of course your work in animation and your growing interest in all things lunar,

what are your hobbies? What would you say is your most interesting hobby? Well, you know, actually right now I'm designed. a trading card game with my brother and best friend. Okay. Is that two people? Or is your brother your best friend?

It's a little confusing. He is my best friend, but then I have another I have five best friends. No, you can't. It's not how it works. No, I get it. I have that. And what's the trading cards?

Just, you know, before we wrap it up, what's the trading cards? So the game is called Alterverse, and the elevator pitch is interdimensional hunger games where alternate versions of history's legends fight together in an arena

one-on-one to that. Okay, so alternate versions of course we go right to Lincoln. One Lincoln versus another Lincoln. Wait, as a warrior? Yeah. Bizarre? Of course we all go right to Lincoln

the night versus you know, Abraham Lincoln the robot from the year 3,022. But like Genghis Khan versus Lincoln? No, no, no. I think he's saying there's alternate versions. Do the alternate versions fight each other? Does Lincoln fight Abraham, Lincoln, O. Lincoln, who lives in Ireland.

And do they fight each other? They could fight each other. You could, right now we have Sherlock as a robot fighting Hercules as a caveman. So maybe not even like actual people that existed. Just the legends maybe exist as reality and some other. alternate dimension. Have you worked out how the game works and the whole thing? It's all worked out. We've been playtesting it. We've been designing cards. It's, uh, you know, I would challenge you in a game because I know you would, you would love that. I know you're

actually dying for me to ask you to do that. You know what? No one's ever read my mind before. But you have. You have. I would love to play you in this game. Um, and he said lying. I'm, yeah, I don't know. That's, that game sounds. like obviously you're very creative guy you're very talented guy and so you create things in your hobby like when you're just sitting around if you've got a weekend off or anything like that

do you find yourself writing little things or doodling or doing any sort of creation I sign headshots to myself Jesus is Chris headshots of me from the 90s to me and then I sign them me and then I put them in an envelope and then I open them

and I get excited and I'm yeah and each time I open one, I'm equally excited. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

It's a little game I call narcissus. No, I have lots of little things. I do. We all entertain ourselves, I suppose, in different ways. For me, obviously, it's working on my body. What's that? Yeah. I actually hear nothing.

Good from here. Thank you. I look best on a Zoom. Well, it's been delightful talking to you. I mean it when I say you seem like a nice guy and a talented guy. I'm very excited for you and Ash, who sounds amazing, and she's great. And I'm just, I'm happy for you guys. That's all I can say. Would I be happier if you didn't have the swords? Yes, I would. Would I be happier still if your red beard matched your hair? Yes, delighted. But I can't control

these things. Does the whole moon thing creep me out in the coven's late at night? Yeah, I'm worried. I'm really worried. Does the game sound fun? No, no, it doesn't. But all those things aside. side, Zach. I like you and I bless you moving forward in life. Thank you so much. Honestly, it's a pleasure. You know, I have three more swords in the closet. I was going to send you one. Okay. We have...

Zach, thank you so much. Seriously. Thank you. Thank you all. It's been a serious pleasure meeting you all. And us too. Huge fan. I salute you. Bye. Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian and Matt Gourley. Produced by

me, Matt Gourley. produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and Nick Leo. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising producer Aaron Blaird. Associate talent producer Jennifer Samples. Associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Burm. Engineering by Eduardo Perez.

Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien needs a fan wherever fine podcasts are down.