Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - The Lost Hans and Franz Movie Episode 1

Episode Date: May 17, 2023

Conan is joined by Dana Carvey, Kevin Nealon, and Robert Smigel along with the Team Coco staff to perform selections from the unproduced screenplay for Hans and Franz: The Girlyman Dilemma, more than 30 years after its original conception. Hear them now and believe them later - this script is going to PUMP YOU UP!

Universal Pictures R-rated comedy strays is the presenting sponsor of the lost Hans and Franz movie a special Conan O'Brien needs a friend mini series Stick around later in the episode to hear more about what we thought of the movie check out strays in theaters August 18th Hey, welcome to a very special edition of Conan O'Brien needs a friend I am thrilled that we are here This is this is unique. This is a real occasion. Yes, you're all of course familiar with Hans and Franz Dana Carvey Kevin Neyland's classic bodybuilder characters from SNL The these were monsters. These were monster characters. Everyone was doing the Hans and Franz all across America It was big. It's a big deal, but a lesser known fact is that Dana

Kevin Robert Smigel and myself wrote a feature length Hans and Franz movie way back in the year of our Lord 1991 it was a musical it was an incredible vision and it was shockingly never made The only movie based on SNL characters that wasn't turned into a movie No one has ever seen or heard this script dot dot dot until today I am here in studio with Dana Carvey Kevin Neyland, right and Robert Smigel This is the first time any of them have spoken to each other since the movie fell apart Everyone in this room has refused to speak to each other

But now we've come together put aside our differences put aside our differences and we're going to read selections from Hans and Franz the girly man dilemma a Title you probably couldn't use today Hans and Franz the girly man dilemma. Remember. It was 1991 We're gonna read this more than 30 years after we wrote it gentlemen first of all I'm thrilled that we could all be here Dana. Good to see you Robert. How you guys doing Kevin? Oh, well, I'm just Kevin. How I'm over the moon to be here. Yeah to see that you are still in the business I can Kevin stuff that we predicted in 1991 Yeah, no, it's it's nice that we could come together

I wanted to sort of set the table first before we begin explaining a little bit of the background Of what we're doing here. Okay. First of all, we're gonna read this script scenes from the movie We're not gonna read the whole movie. Mm-hmm. Yeah, the whole movie would be over six hours long But what we're gonna do is we're gonna start by reading an opening sequence first We have some team Coco staffers in the back that are gonna help us with some smaller roles Sonam of Sessian Matt gorelly David Hopping and Matt Powers are gonna be assisting in smaller roles Helping us out. I will roll is too small. No role is too. No, that's not true. Maybe some roles are very small In fact, I'm reading one of the small roles

but I'm also gonna be reading stage directions and Of course Hans and Franz will be played by of course appropriately By Hans and Franz Dana and Kevin and Robert you will be playing the part of Arnold Schwarzenegger Is that I didn't get Arnold? What's that? We did Arnold's here. Yeah, we could like to meet Arnold We couldn't he's a pleasure to be here. Wow Oh, what an honor Arnold just walked in. This is incredible. Finally it's a Conan O'Brien needs a human friend podcast Arnold amazing that you would just wander in We're not even being invited. You're amazing that I would just wander in. You're so animated

No, I'm this is I can't believe I'm in the studio in large month I'm pinching myself settle down Robert. Yeah, okay. All right. Oh, yeah, he's good. We don't want him mad at us Oh, right. Right. Let me point out quickly that Robert for many many years on my late night show was the voice in the clutch cargoes of Arnold Schwarzenegger Which was one of our biggest hit characters He would always come down and I would start interviewing him and it would always end up with him yelling at me And you always start with him Yeah, exactly. It was sort of a beginning middle. Yes. I thought you looked familiar

Robert always had this is how low-tech it was to create a little gap in his teeth He'd put a little piece of electrical tape like your tape in front of his two front teeth and always in the middle of every bit It would start to come off. Yeah, and then we would deconstruct it and I'd say Arnoldy or teeth are I don't look I have my gap is delicious Oh, how would we explain this impression to like rich little or something? No, this is our art. It was an I was an imprecisionist. I used to call myself. Yes, exactly Conan, I'm a little confused. Yeah, you said you're gonna set the table. What is that gonna happen? Not literally set a table. Oh, I thought we're having a lunch or something man. I thought I was surprised. All right

So that's what's happening is we should explain to people under 25 who Hansen Franz Hansen Franz and I think we should we should quickly and I know that I have my minders Who are sitting in the room glaring at me that I keep this thing on the track This is gonna take place over multiple episodes. We're gonna read different scenes and we'll we'll take you through everything We're gonna start reading the opening sequence in just a bit But just to tell you Hansen Franz, it was a big deal on SNL Kevin, where did the idea come from? Go because you you were watching television. I believe once weren't you? I was in a hotel room in Des Moines, Iowa. I believe it was we were on tour with Dana Dennis and me

And I was watching up close and personal with Arnold Schwarzenegger And he would talk about you know, what he does when he gets in the town They were asking what do you do when you get into town? He's well, you know, first I get into the nice light cotton Should I go out on the town? I have some fun. Then I come back to the hotel room. I get into the nice light cotton sheets And I called Dane and I said Dane you gotta watch this and we were both laughing at it And then for the rest of the tour drove Dennis crazy. We're talking like Arnold Schwarzenegger And it was the precision and the positivity so I Kevin told me that I laughed and it was just Became a poem we did ad nauseam. It's like you get to the hotel you do the stairs you get a nice

Light sweat you take a nice warm shower. Yeah, you put on a light white cotton shirt And you're ready for the evening. Yeah, it always went to you're ready for the evening You're ready for the evening. We saw the preparation So you two are doing this back and forth and then eventually this becomes Hans and Franz these two characters who want to pump you up and Arnold's cousins Arnold's cousins and they're constantly talking about Arnold Schwarzenegger and became a very popular But also they're very defensive. Yeah, and they try to cut people down before they mock them. They're paranoid and Delusional, yeah, yeah aggressive. What was it now? Believe me now and hear me later. Hear me now. That was Kevin's hear me now and believe me If you think you're so smart, you know, why don't you come and do it? We do no way it's not gonna happen

You know, yeah, they're on a cable TV show with like three viewers Yeah, threatening them and they never show any feats of strength or lift anything It's a no me tell you some of you doubt this. Yeah, we can easily easily very easy come to your house And you'll see in the script what that we then and I never laughed more than we were writing these characters for hours They were just so fun to do. So then you guys and we'll we'll talk about this how it came about but But we just did didn't we no no how that those are the characters then there was the idea for the movie Way later. Yeah, it was yeah several years later And and I think you guys talked to Robert and Robert talked to me and we agreed we would try and write this thing

So let's take you now. I think we should begin Let's just do a scene see what happens. Yeah, I don't know if I can follow that stage directions And this is remind me am I Franz and he is hot, right? You know why and you are there to pump. Oh, okay. No one ever knew which one was Hans and which one was Franz Okay, here. I take you now to Hans and Franz the girly man dilemma. Here we go Interior cable TV studio Hans and Franz to crew cut Austrian bodybuilders with great sweatsuits Are on the set of their program Welcome to pumping up with Hans and Franz

the informative training program for the serious weightlifter Welcome we're back As always don't try to adjust your TV set. This is our actual size. Yeah, that's right Yeah, you're looking at two of the most massive muscle guards you'll ever see in your life Yeah, because I am home and I am Franz and we want to pop You are we followed the message of our cousin the greatest bodybuilder in the world. Yeah, maybe you've heard of him Oh, as they continue occasionally cut to glazed indifferent camera men and technicians all out of shape Hear me now and believe me later

We could easily grab your love handles and stress them around you like a bag so you can carry yourself out to the garbage Cut to cute card man holding a card reading. Yeah, because that's where trash like you belongs. Yeah, because that's what Trash like you belong Interior a bedroom same Rob Lowe as his character from Wayne's world is in bed with a woman She holds remote control. Wait a minute. Keep it on this for a minute Interior studio same. All right, let's bring out our guest helmet a flabby shirtless Austrian man joins Hans and Franz He appears painfully resigned. This is helmet a typical person Helmet is what you would become if you're lazy interior Rob Lowe's bedroom same. Nah, this sucks

He flips to another channel exterior ugly white brick apartment building the next morning Interior Hans and Franz's studio apartment same a cuckoo clock wakes up Hans and Franz asleep in their bunk beds Several Arnold posters hang from the walls many frame signs with slogans no pain no gain if it doesn't hurt It doesn't help believe me etc music cheerful morning Hans slides out of the top bunk stepping into Franz's hand stirrups They are in their pajamas and weight belts Bathroom door Hans is knocking to come in come on Interior bathroom Franz is flexing in front of the mirror exterior bathroom. Let's go. There are some other people in this house that need to flex

I'm sure you're living room later. Hans is watering and being berating a sickly plant on the windowsill Come on you lazy charnet sure a name Whatever that's called grow look how strong you are. Yeah, I could very easily pull you out by your skinny roots Yeah, you look more like a daisy. Is that what you want yelling? They're yelling at a plant. Yes I'm sorry Danny a gangly nervous student who lives next door arrives at their entrance Guys. Yeah. Yeah. What can you keep it down? I'm just trying to work on my thesis. Yeah, look How long are you going to be finished with that? Yeah? Yeah, you're going to be needing this quiet business Yeah, I'm sorry. I just hit on this whole new verbal dynamic. Yeah, look, we'd love to chat and engage in girly talk

But now we have an appointment with a station manager interior TV executive office later two young executives are seated opposite Hans and Franz Everyone is uncomfortable. It's just that Martin Luther King is a real hero in our society. Yeah So to describe him as flabby he is well, that's not the issue. What you said was offensive English, please Look, we've just gotten a lot of calls and a lot of pressure to pull your show. You're pulling our show from television We're sorry. There is a pause Look your suits. We sit down and make decisions in your suits and you don't know what the people want, you know The people your suits. Yeah suits. So does that change your mind? No Exterior TV studio Hans and Franz mill about outside the TV studio dejected. This phase of our lives is over. It's time to start from scratch

Yeah, yeah, I get in touch with our roots. Let's bring a snack Cheer your subway car later Hans and Franz are in a modern subway car gnawing on a large ham All right, so that is yeah, it's the opening scene Hans and Franz Here's what I can recall. I had left Saturday night live Yes, I was out in Los Angeles working on the Simpsons when Robert called me and said let's Let's write the Hans and Franz movie. Well, we had already been writing some of it. I think yeah, me and Kevin We weren't going anywhere with it The first a lot of the early stuff and I just said I think it'd be great to add Conan to the mix especially and

And the second half with Arnold and stuff. There's so much great details that you added to this movie That are so funny. He just wanted to keep using the names Homer and Bart and everything Didn't go with our script. It's not true. That's but anyway What I remember is we've all got together on a lot. Was it the switch lot was it it was Sony? Was it Sony or So we had an office and yes, what I remember most clearly is We would get there Robert and I would get there and Dana was pretty prompt Kevin would usually show up just a little late and at the time you always had a giant shake of some kind of

You were slim fast. You were slim fast and you were always sipping on this giant bottle like a baby Yeah, I'm still doing it today. Yeah And he also he also I remember especially in the early state We you always have these pre-prepared this prepared food that yeah, there was a lot of those Jenny Craig Jenny Craig Are you serious? Yeah, so you mixed slim fast with Jenny Craig. Well, I could kill you I did but also I had Weight Watchers in my freezer. So I did the three of those I gained so much weight Mormon diet diet, that's right. That's right And the Weight Watchers woman would come to my house

Uh-huh because I would get the VIP treatment and she didn't know I had I had Jenny Craig in the freezer And I love Weight Watchers and then you know, I said I gotta go to the bathroom I go into my freezer get little Jenny Craig out and then come back out I thought it was more like Chinese food and stuff. What didn't you have like bowls of things? I didn't know you guys are keeping track of what I was eating This is the biggest memory of the whole script writing. It was Kevin's first backtrack. I was never a little late I was the first one there with Smigel I don't remember him being a late type of person. I don't even remember you two guys, right?

Now you've gone too far But I I was always trying to get time off from the Simpsons I remembered they would always keep that writer's room kind of late and we would try and grab time on weekends I would try and grab any time I could yeah, yeah, yeah to go off to Sony to work on this ridiculous Yes, silly movie And one of the things that a sensible person would have done if we had been sensible because we're getting to Arnold Schwarzenegger is to write a movie that maybe Arnold has a quick cameo in Because Arnold at the time was the biggest movie star in the world

It's what we did what shocks me now upon rereading it as I remembered Arnold was in it But I forgot how much he was that Arnold is in it more than anybody and So we hung the entire project But didn't this kind of come from Arnold on some level like I remember hearing this from you guys that Arnold wants to be Well, he was on these ones are twice. He was on Hans and Franz on Saturday night live. Yes. Yes. Loved it Loved it. There's reasons why it didn't work out. We can get to those layers Yeah, but we thought he did want to have a major part and at the time

He hadn't really done anything like this yet and he was interested in it and I remember that and I remembered Thinking well if Arnold also the allure of if Arnold says yes, this is going to get made So we can make this as silly as we want cuz he's gonna if Arnold says yes all the craziness is gonna happen Exactly and and that and I also I have to admit that when Dana and Kevin first approached me with the idea of doing a Hans and Franz movie My first reaction was what a horrible idea? Because there's such one-dimensional Characters in theory. So my first thought was well, what if we made it a musical that'll kill like, you know 25 minutes, right? That's less plot and it's fun to see them sing Right and then these guys said it was you guys have this idea that they're gonna go to Hollywood and they're gonna interact with Arnold

And I was like, okay, that makes sense because then the second half of the movie can be almost like a parody of Arnold's life Right and so that and that was so much fun. That was incredible. We got to create what we hoped Arnold's life was like in our cartoonish childish brain. Oh, yeah, I mean, we'll get to those scenes Yeah, yeah, we're coming up on that. That's a big very heavily And I think little Austria was really made me happy whenever that emerged without your idea little Austria I love that the cable car going up there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's a scene there We might write that scene. It was fun though. It was fun to get together and work on this thing Oh, this was so much fun. They just because the characters are it's like the way you guys say when you laugh

When you would write these you just can't stop laughing because they're just so high energy and so stupid at the same time Yeah, you guys are trying to read the script, but you're not very successful. Are you? You remember that we wrote I mean we all did but we wrote at that hotel in Santa Monica that kind of retro plays Yes, I remember that because I have pictures you I sketched of you laying in the couch playing with your shoe Yeah, I used to take when I was when I was thinking I used to take off your wingtips I used to wear jeans with old wingtip shoes from like an army Navy store and I would take off one of the shoes and just look at it when I was thinking and You drew a sketch of it which ended up in your book in my book called. I exaggerate my brushes with fame

It's available wherever fantastic books are sold. Yep And that plug is the only reason Kevin agreed to come in. Thanks guys. I'll see you later We got it out of the way. You took a long time to work up to it, bro We mentioned earlier this special miniseries is sponsored by the new Universal Pictures movie strays We're very excited to have strays as our sponsor now, so now I understand that you and play got an early screening of this movie What'd you think? Oh, I loved it. It was awesome I miss raunchy comedies. This is a fun raunchy comedy. It's it's Really actually laugh out. I saw the trailer which looked funny. It's uh, they're using live-action dogs. Yes, and but with great

Comedy personalities doing the voices. Yeah, Will Ferrell plays the main dog. Yeah, then Jamie Foxx Yeah, I love Fisher who's really funny Randall Park and Randall Park who's awesome and they're like the four They're the core dogs and will Forte is in the movie as Will Ferrell's owner Yeah, will Forte is just a total douche But such an ass will Ferrell plays that it plays this character where he kind of is an innocent like oh my god He loves me, but clearly he the will Forte does not love his dog at all, and it was oh my god It's also really smart. So my favorite jokes are like One point when the dogs goes to the other dogs. Hey, you guys went in here and knock knock joke, and they go, yeah

She goes knock knock and they'll start barking Which is really good And there's this whole thing about they want like the theory that Jamie Foxx's dog has about humans They collect all the dogs all the dog shit because they make it into chocolate which is why they won't let dogs eat chocolate It's really great. So yeah, Blake likes all the smart humor. I like all the poo poo pee pee jokes in it And there's a lot of that and it's really really funny. Well, it's not a kid's movie. It is rated. No Not a kid's movie. Uh, but uh, it is from the humans who brought you cocaine bear and 21 jump street. Yes, remember So, uh, I'll repeat again the movie stars will ferrell jimmy fox. I'll a fisher and randall parks good cast

Check out strays only in theaters august 18th. These dogs don't give a sit Yeah, yeah. Oh, right. I got it. All right. Let's read uh to the next scene We're gonna read and we'll begin right now. There we go After losing their tv show hans and frans head back to little austria to start humble new careers there Instead their grandma inspires them to follow in their cousin arnold swartz nagers footsteps and become hollywood stars They also meet their friend rolf who seems to be hatching an evil scheme involving girly man Okay exterior highway day beauty shots of hans and frans riding their tandem bikes on the highway

A sign reads hollywood 3063 miles. They notice it and press on determinately Cross dissolve hans and frans biking grim faced with passing road signs smithsonian institute liberty bell gettysburg memorial. They ignore them and ride on the next sign reads vienna wonderland They turn off the highway Dissolve to exterior highway later. They are back on their tandem bike. They're napsacks are stuffed with large bulky corny souvenirs Okay, what loser am I? Hmm, what sensory did you live in 19? How flabby were you? I was 40 pounds overweight louis pastor. You're getting too good

All right, what loser am I will you? Will you pass shapes or completely around? God, I want to play that game. All right exterior Exterior small town laundromat day hans and frans pedal up to the entrance Interior laundromat same hans and frans are in their long underwear shoving their sweatsuits into a washing machine A few nearby customers hold their nose cut to hans and frans later removing their sweatsuits from a dryer They have shrunk noticeably. Oh, this is unbelievable. Yeah. Yeah. This is not the proper size an older woman at the next dryer has noticed them

That's what happens these machines. You put your clothes in you don't know what's coming out. They don't take care of these machines Yeah, yeah, you're not gonna get your money back. I'll tell you that they don't care. Yeah, they don't care Yeah, they don't care. Yeah. Well, anyway, you know Well, we should go we're going to hollywood. Yeah, can't be any worse than this Highway later hans and frans are now joined by the older woman on the tandem bike There are now somehow three seats and three wheels Interior uh truck stop diner later hans frans and the older woman are seated in a booth ordering from a waitress Are any of these foods designed for building sheer mass? Just what's on the menu, sir?

Okay, I'll have an anabolic amino schnitzel sandwich with extra egg yolk We don't serve that sandwich, sir. We have a tuna or chicken salad You're saying you don't make substitutions a huge truck driver with two of his buddies belly up to the counter next to hans and frans Lorraine these characters giving you trouble. I can handle it boo. Yeah, boo. Yeah, boo She can handle it too. Yeah Ah, good because I wouldn't want to have to kick anyone's head in keep your shirt on. Yeah boo Yeah, and you don't take your shirt off or your belt because you might cause a flabber lunge

I guess we should take this outside They get up to leave and start backing out of the diner. Oh, I see. Yeah, very clever We're going to palm you and end up in jail. I don't think so. Yeah, I still have Easter babies We're headed for Hollywood. They're at the door turning back. Wait a minute. Yeah. What now? Did you say Hollywood? exterior highway hans frans the older woman and the three truck drivers are pedaling on the tandem bike Which now has six seats and six wheels. Okay, interior lair twilight music impending doom The lair is a cavernous dark room with a network of ramps leading to different levels

Rolf walks past the crew cut uniformly clad muscle men goons standing guard. He hits a control panel And turns in his swivel chair to face a large screen Distorted colors on the screen vibrate from the disembodied voice of mr. X Rolf's mysterious leader Lieutenant Rolf reporting to mr. X How is the plan to kidnap girly man and convert them into muscle men? Proceeding You're a very slow talker

Everything is in place Very well Set the plan into motion Remember, I want choice girly man It shall be done. And don't forget to heart The environment If I I think I heard you correctly you said don't forget to hurt the environment. I told you Wow, you're laying it on

That's it Rolf is petting a button marked hurt environment. He laughs villainously Our six bikers led by Hans and Franz with passing highway signs mount rushmore yellowstone national park grand canyon A road sign with a picture of a large beer stein reads stein museum featuring herman the german glockenspiel the bike turns off the freeway Exterior stein museum day Hans and Franz are exiting with their friends all armed with new souvenirs and steins They turn a corner and enter screening room day interior roger ebert. Let's just There's some older references here. Roger ebert famous movie reviewer had a show Originally with sysco and ebert. We were gonna do that. Yeah, roger ebert is watching the Hans and Franz movie taking notes

Hans Franz and their friends all enter. How do you like it? Holding up quite well, wouldn't you say? Well, not much has really happened yet. Didn't think two sketch characters could sustain this long. Did you? Ebert shrugs. This is van de. Right. I I saw yeah Blake colon and sam. How you doing? I really should get back to what what bother you up to angle on the screen Ebert is up to the beginning of this scene with Hans and Franz entering an essay of questions Angeline Hans and Franz watching the scene with interest. Oh, yeah. Yeah, this is this is the this is the good part right here Listen to look at this. Yeah, this is very enjoyable. Yeah. All right, everyone is here. Let's leave him alone

Yeah, let's go. They noisily exit ebert sighs then looks to camera It is good. Oh man Good lord that is low Exterior highway later the tandem bike rolls along It now carries 10 people including a businessman a 10 year old girl and the cartoon headed mascot from the stein museum Dissolved to the tandem bike approaching a sign reading entering Hollywood. Hans removes a large pin from behind his seat disengaging Hans and Franz from the rest of the tandem bike which splits into eight different unicycles

The others disperse expertly peddling in different directions Hans and Franz wave once more than triumphantly ride past the sign Wow, okay. All right. That is now Hans and Franz have arrived in Hollywood. That seems as good a place as any to stop I completely forgot because I really liked it now. It was a nice surprise I completely forgot that they visit ebert who's reviewing this like my favorite reviewing the movie as it's happening and I guess I forgot that until I looked at the script again I always love the unicycle thing where they keep taking more and more people on the tandem bike

This part of the movie was very pee-wee Big adventure influenced. Yeah, and then the second half. I think is more simpsonsy Yes, where it becomes a parody of Hollywood, but what's funny about the way you guys edited this talk about old references So that scene in the diner was like a parody of the famous It was meant to be a parody of the famous scene in five easy pieces where jack Nicholson wants a certain kind of sandwich And they say no salad. Yeah. Yeah, I want you to take the bread and I want you to substitute the anabolic Statoid Whatever it was hold it between your knees. I think was the famous. Yeah. Yeah, and that was in there too

I want you to hold it But it's just so funny That's how old that reference is that even your guys didn't pick up on it that it was a five easy pieces every day from 1973 with jack Nicholson. There's also some trolley chaplain things you cut out. Yeah, that's true Every day starts with me telling my staff who I am I had a late night show in the 90s um But you know when we're reading this I could just picture it like when we were writing it

It's almost like you could visualize what you've done already Like picking that little pin up and letting the unicycles go, you know, if I was the director I'd have a close-up on this I do think that's great that it's funny with the sound off coming I think that was probably all intentional obviously because our voices of droning in Brea Gadotia Is one lane, but then all these physical gigs. Yeah, so I'm glad that you reminded me Dana You brought up a really good point Which is Hans and Franz do a lot of boasting and a lot of flexing and a lot of talking about how they're gonna

Twist the flab around you, but when confronted by a trucker who's saying hey, is this guy giving you a problem? You guys are in his face and the minute he suggests a fight. Yeah, you have you want no party. Yeah Nice try we put you in the hospital I give you kudos. I give you kudos for your attempt Do you know why you're here now in this scene because we wrote this scene for you Don't don't press your luck my friend. Yeah, press 20 pounds Maybe if you threaten us we could threaten you back and then walk away or pump up You have to look at our muscular buttocks as they recede in the distance

I go open up the back doors of your truck and believe me fat would come rolling out with lard That's right. Instead of a trucker's hat. You should wear a fatty hat Because you're fat right from Oh, is that is that Hans not getting off a good one and he's Second guessing Franz is his leader. All we did was scratch the surface here This was our first episode You've got to stick around because in the next episode Arnold Schwarzenegger himself

Entered the scene of course. He ended up not doing that. I wouldn't I know this is that is hackney But I would not want to miss the next episode. No, can I just tell you when Arnold Schwarzenegger came to SNL to be in the first sketch I remember that. Yeah, first of all, we couldn't believe you wanted to do it because basically we're making fun of them Yeah, and then we realized he's coming on the show to kill us And we came and got us that day and we were on the set and they brought us to his dressing room And his name was on the door and it was so long it went on to the wall a little bit, you know, and we opened the door It's full of cigar smoke. Remember that day. Oh, yeah It's a lounge chair. He's got a big cigar one one cigar one hand the script

We wrote from the other and he looks through the cigar smoke to us and he goes Hello fellas now. How much supposed to do the accent? Right there we do is cool. Yeah, because he's he's like I said Arnold is very Pregmatic. Yeah, the more they they're doing me on the show and it makes it better that I can laugh at myself You know other other actors are very serious, but they see the joy in the comedy and opens up a whole new world for me Yes, he was well, this is but he went on to be a governor. He had political instincts He used a lot of the Hans and Franz references too. He did. He did. Yeah, I had trouble for it New York Times wanted to interview me. I was on a camping trip, but they said what is girly man me?

What are you trying to say? I mean, it came such a big part of pop culture even the astronauts in the shuttle were doing want the bomb you love Oh and gyms everywhere. Don't be a girly man Don't I mean even in Argentina and some of us the horses were doing it and mules were doing all right I'm gonna break it off there Kevin's going on one of his famous tangents. Let's get him his pills Uh, we're gonna be back. You got stick around for the second episode. We are reading uh, Hans and Franz the girly man dilemma The movie that was never made. It was written in 1991. We've got Dana. We've got kevin

We've got robert smigel and myself, but not on hold We'll see we'll see if he shows up next time stick around for that next episode. Yeah Yeah The Lost Hans and Franz movie written and performed by Dana Carvey Kevin Nieland robert smigel and Conan O'Brien Additional voice work by matt goily sonam of sesion david hopping and matt powers Produced and edited by me matt goily directed by matt powers executive produced by adam sacks

Nick liao and jeff ross at team coco and collin anderson and cody fischer eddierwolf Our supervising producer is erin blair and our associate talent producer is jennifer samples engineering by aduardo pares and talent booking by paula davis and jenna batista Subscribe to conan o'Brien needs a friend on apple podcasts stitcher or wherever fine podcasts are down This has been a team coco production in association with earwall