Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - The Prophet And The Reacharound

Episode Date: February 12, 2026

Conan and special guest Kevin Nealon chat with luchador Chris from Tucson about his wrestling persona The Prophet, his new agua frescas line, and what Conan and Kevin’s wrestling tag team duo would be called. Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? Submit here: teamcoco.com/apply Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/conan. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamco.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started. Hey, Chris. Welcome to Conan Needs a fan with Conan and special guest, Kevin Neal. Kevin Nealins joining us today.

Chris, how are you? I'm doing well yourself. Oh, great. We're doing okay. Where are you coming to us from, Chris? The dirty tea, tucktown, Tucson, Arizona. Nice. All right.

Wow. I'm going to say Tijuana. I know. And tell us a little bit about yourself. I just have a little scrap of paper here that says that you are a, this is impressive. You're a luchador. Is that right? You're a wrestler.

Yeah, I've been in the wrestling business for 27 years now. Okay. This is incredible. And you wrestle yourself. Do you have a... He wrestles himself. Yeah. Well, we've all done that.

What's not all about? That's not very fair. There's a fix-in. He always throws it too. himself. Christopher, you have a character, right, when you're wrestling? Yeah, I'm fully masked. I have a character

named the Prophet. The Prophet. That's a great name. It's a great name for a wrestler. And do we have a photograph? I think we have a photograph of you. Oh, my God. Look at that. That is impressive. So, you are the Prophet.

Tell us when you're in character as the... These are great. Jeez, look at this. Tell us a little bit about this character, The Prophet. Do you someone who believes he's a prophet, or is your character really a prophet? Does he have magical powers? Can he see the future? It's more of a mystique type thing.

Very quiet. Just straight to the point, I get in the ring and do my job. And just represent myself that way. Do you have a signature move you do, Chris? It's called The Prophecy. Oh, what does that involve? Yeah, tell us about the prophecy. Do you, that sounds great.

So the signature move is called The Prophecy, and at some point during your battle, you say, now it's time for the prophecy. And then what do you do? So I hooked their arm over mine. I picked them up sideways like a body slam. I swing their body out and sit down and slam it. My God. That's so prophetic. Can I say?

That's so prophetic, man. Can I say something? That is a greater prophecy than anything I've read in the Old or New Testament. And I think if those were the prophecies, people would really pay attention. They'd be much more religion in the world. Absolutely. Yeah. That's very impressive.

Thank you. You have to be an amazing athlete to be a wrestler and to do it at the level that you've been doing it at for so long. Have you had some bad injuries? Tell us about that. I think I've been pretty fortunate, but around 10 years in. I did break my elbow. I had to get surgery on that. But the weirdest thing that happened in me is I came down with a condition called

the rabdominalysis. And that's basically where my muscles were breaking down and being filtered through my kidneys. So my urine was black. And that's bad. No, no, no, no, no. No, not yet. Hear him out. Chris, get to the bad part.

Yeah, get to the part where it's really. I mean, I don't think it's someone, there's not a person here who's not peeing some black urine right now. But wait a minute. Why did this happen? Why? What is it about this condition? It breaks down your muscles and then converts it into a thick sludge that you then pee out. When you're on, if you do that while you're standing on the ropes in the corner?

Is that sort of a defense? Like an oil slick? It's like a, you know what you should have done, Chris? You should have called your character. You should have called your character. the squid. And just whenever you're about to lose, you shoot out this black stream. And your opponent is immediately immobilized.

How many costumes do you have, Chris? Probably around 15. Okay. Do you have one for more of like a formal fight? Or is it... They're all the same, just different colors. Before we... I want to show some empathy here.

Kevin, just stop for a second. I'm loving it. Yeah. I know you're loving it, but I wanted to make sure, Chris, how did you get rid of this terrible disease? And are you cured now? And then we'll get on to all the bits about... Have you got a cumberbund? You know...

So basically... Do you ever wear a carnation? What happened to this disease? They needed to flesh my system out. So I was in the hospital for a week on an IV. That was all I was doing. Right. So it was for me a vacation.

Okay. It's always a vacation when you can just squirt out some black. urine in a hospital. So then you recovered, and the disease does not continue once it's flushed out. Is that correct? I haven't got it again, but I'll honestly say I don't think I was ever 100% after that. Oh, I apologize. It kind of looks like you have Black Pete coming out of your ears right now from those wires. Oh, those are headphones, Kevin.

I'm talking about the wires. Yeah, I know. Chris, let's get back to the cover button. Yeah. Hey, Chris, I'm sorry that I asked you momentarily about your health. So you followed up on that question. Yeah, I'm really sorry about it. So yeah, so you went wee-wee, it was all black.

Hey, what do you wear a tuxedo in the ring ever? You got a lot of fans? You got a lot of fans, Chris? What's your fan base? Tucson, Arizona. I built a pretty good following here. We do regular shows at the Rialto Theater downtown. Hey, are you a good guy or a bad guy?

Are you the heel or you the hero? So I've been the hero for the majority of my career, but two years ago I turned hill and had a little feud with another wrestler. That was the last time I wrestled. I haven't had a match in two years. Okay, who's your arch enemy? Did you have a nemesis, someone who the prophet always hated, you know, the Cumberbund or whatever the other guy was?

Well, the coolest thing I've done storyline-wise was I had a feud against myself, the false prophet. Oh, wow. That's a great idea. Yeah, we stressed it out for a year, year and a half. We had a series of matches, and we were playing tricks. You know, look over here while he's over there and vice versa. So it was fun.

But wait a minute. Did you play both characters? So I had one of my original trainees became my disciple, basically. That's a great idea. Yeah, it's pretty cool. The false prophet is a terrific. And with the false prophet try to do the prophecy on you? you? Yes. I knew it. As agile as me, so we're able to do each other's moves. Now, if you each

did the prophecy to each other, was it one of those things where it cancels out and there's like a bright flash? Yeah, black hole. Yeah. These are good questions, Kevin. I'm sorry. Oh, this isn't sticky enough from my partner here. Can I get to it like a real question? Yeah, sure. Go ahead. Yeah. Chris, you grew up as a Mormon, correct? I did. And did you watch wrestling growing up? Not until teenage years. Do you think the fact that you grew up in the Mormon faith steered you towards more of a religious character? That did, but the other factor was the 36 mafia because their record label was called Prophet Entertainment. Tell me about 3-6 Mafia. You're going crazy here. A famous hip-hop group, rap group from the 90s and 2000s. Yeah, it's a great group.

And so you were a fan of their music and then you saw that record label was the profit or the prophecy. It was profit entertainment. Nice. So I kind of ripped that off. We don't rip it off, you say, I was influenced. I paid a much. I was inspired, you know. I'm trying to protect you from legal action.

Chris, you haven't wrestled in two years, right? Yeah, it's just really hard on my body these days, just trying to take it easy. Yeah. How do you stay busy? Well, with the wrestling business, besides doing that, I also rent rings and get books for festivals and I'm also in the food world too trying to start a food trailer. Oh, tell us about that. So I love Mexican food and I worked in a restaurant for a few years and I just came up with

an alas fresco's drink line. Oh. So I want to start selling avas fresco, but I want to call it lucha fresca, fight fresh. Nice. I like, hey, wait, that's a good idea. I would drink lucha fresca. I could do an ad for you. You know, I would do, I would be a, and I know that you'll do a, you'll do an ad for anyone, Kevin.

I'll do it, I'll do anything for anybody. You know, the thing about drinks, what are they, is this water? They're made out of water with the ingredient and then sugar. Those are always healthy. I think a lot of times, you know, when you're selling a product, it's really the packaging that sells it. You know, like if you see these Topo Chico bottles. They look so refreshing. Yeah.

A little condensation on them and cold bottle. What's your packaging looks like, Chris? That's not about the packaging at all. I'm talking to Chris. That's just a cold bottle. Any cold bottle has condensation on it. Chris, I'm sorry. How do you give the company credit for it being cold?

You're our guest. That doesn't make any sense at all. You know, I love the new Fort Fiesta. Oh, what do you like about it? Let's got some dew on it. Chris, if you want to call you later. Oh, yeah, it's been outside and we're in Portland. Yeah, that's what I like about it.

It's just nice when it has that duster. Do that dewey look? Does it make you feel good to do that? It did. Does it make you feel good to bounce on people? I crushed you. You can call me later. We'll talk about it.

Okay. Chris, I like this idea. I like this idea. And what are you doing to make this? What kind of packaging are you putting on there? So I do have clear bottles. They're very sleek. And I do have a logo already.

I might modify it. But I was just at a pop-up market this weekend. And I sold at least 15 bottles there. So that's my start. Okay. And do they have each one, is it come in different flavors? Yeah, my main flavors right now is Jamaica and tamarino. My favorite flavors, by the way.

Those are, I mean, this sounds promising. I think you might be onto something. Do you have any big money backers behind you? No. Have you taken on a shark tank? Would you take it on shark tank? I don't know. I mean, it's been done before.

Avas frescas exists, but maybe the way the packaging and the marketing might sell more than the other brands. I like the idea of lucha fresca. I think that's great. I like the name. Do you speak Spanish? Chris? I do. I've been practicing for like four years now on dual-lingal, but I'm still not fluid. But that, that, uh, lucha fresca, man, that comes out nice. What are you talking about? It comes out nice. The way he says it. Oh, the way he says it. It also comes out nice. It's just so, so strange, man. So you haven't wrestled. Do you think you're done wrestling? You're your wrestling days over. It sounds to me like if you've done, if you haven't wrestled in two years, maybe that's it.

No comeback? I'm not retired. All right. Pretty much in the wrestling business. Even if you retire, you don't. Because you always get sucked back in. But I have a wrestling ring. I still train and stuff like that.

So I'm trying to just teach the new people. Chris, I hate to make this about me, but I, a number of years ago, did a show that I was very proud of in Mexico City. And does it have a pony in it? What? Was there a pony in it? Why would there be a pony in it? Because it was a show in Mexico.

Yeah? What's the connection? You don't travel much, too? Just bringing up Tijuana again, huh? Just calling an ambulance. I'm in a donkey. I'm in a donkey. Call an ambulance.

Chris is dying, man. Chris is loving instead of donkey. Hey, I really don't get out much. I don't get out much. Kevin, I don't get out much. So I didn't know that ponies in Mexico. City are synonymous. He meant donkey.

He made donkey. He got it. Chris got it. Did you have a stapler when you went? Stapler? I would have a stapler. You know, Mexico City. He's doing his bit.

He's doing the bit. Yeah, yeah. Oh, he's doing that comedy thing. Look at Conan doing his comedy thing. Do a bit off of a bit. No. Bit off a bit is just as legitimate as any bit. Hey, Christopher, I did this

bunch of shows in Mexico City. Very proud of those shows. One of the things I wanted to ask you was, did you see my luchador segment? I actually went into a ring in Mexico City, and I had my own luchador character that I dressed up. As anyone can see this, if they go on, what's it called? YouTube.

I can pull it up now. There it is, the crazy rooster. I was the crazy rooster. There I am. And guy you local. I wrestled. A, are you familiar with that segment? And B, how do you think I did?

Yeah, I've seen it multiple times. I love all your travel shows, and that episode means a lot to me. Okay. You see none of my stuff, Chris? In Mexico? No. It's all about Conan. We'll get through this, Chris.

Just hang in there. What did you think of my wrestling moves? Be honest. Yeah, I will say you are athletic, and I know you have all this energy, so you pulled it off very well. And one of the guys in the ring with you is a former champion of mine.

Oh, wow. Okay. So you actually, do you know where I was in Mexico City? You know the gym I was in? No, I don't. Okay, it was just a gym. Okay. Yeah, I think if I had to really wrestle, I'd be killed almost instantly.

You'd be broken in a house. Everyone was going very easy on me because they knew, oh, here's the comedian. We've got to go easy on him. I have a lot of respect for what you do, and I think I'd have died within seconds of me. I think before I entered the ring, I would have died. Oh, yeah. You know. I went to one of these wrestling matches.

a couple years ago in New Jersey, whatever that big stadium is. And it was packed. It was like a Super Bowl. It's huge. And the ring in the bottom, John Sana come, get people going crazy.

Yeah. Yeah. I never knew it was that big. I did know it was that big. It's been big for a long, I'm sorry. No, because I like to read. Sure.

Okay. Well, I also enjoy a book every now and then, but I've known for a while that wrestling is massive. So I'm glad that you've caught up to what's happening. You know, everything's massive. I just didn't know it because I live in my small world of knowledge. Okay.

Chris, I'm sorry. We're back to you. Yeah, back to you. Enough about Conan. And his career. But I'm impressed that you keep coming up with new ideas, you're trying new stuff. I mean, that's the game. We've all got to keep going.

We've got to keep trying things. And so I root for you. I do root for you and this luchafresca drink. I think it sounds great. Thank you. I appreciate it. Yeah. Everything I do to this day is basically out of necessity to get me to the next spot in life where I'm trying to go.

So I've learned how to well just to build rings and, you know, learn how to cook to sell it to make money and stuff like that. Who do you like? Who's your favorite wrestler? Probably Mick Foley and Ray Mysterio Jr. What did you like about them particularly? Well, McFolly, he's the hardcore legend. He just gives up his whole body to the business and just does everything he has to make an impact. Mysterio is the biggest influence for me because I started becoming a luchador, inspired by what he could do.

And that made me think, well, can I do it? So 27 years later, the answer is yes. Isn't that, it's funny, you're talking about wrestling. It's really the same with comedy. we grow up seeing people and you identify people that you want to emulate them

you had that right Kevin yeah everybody does who did you have grown up I were three people one with Chris actually besides Chris yeah Chris no it was

Andy Kaufman Albert Brooks and Steve Martin yeah yeah and you you never really did stand up though no I never did stand up but you did monologues on your shows

yeah that's good a little put down before. He's amazing. Did you feel comfortable doing those monologues? Yeah, I did. Really? Yeah.

Just called talent. I, Chris is watching this like watching his parents fight. Yeah, I'm sorry about this, Chris. Yeah, I had the same thing. It was Steve Martin and, I mean, also Albert Brooks. I mean, watching his films, watching the stuff that he would do on the Tonight Show. That really inspired me.

this conceptual comedy that blew me away and of course Python when Python finally showed up on my television that blew my mind

SCTV well I was basically just asked you about comics but okay well let's keep it to that now I don't really want a history of comedy I forgot how narrow you were I don't really want a history of comedy

I like I like you know I like you know I like all the shows a little bit off a bit a bit I'm going to run away now. Oh, yeah, I do like it. I don't know a bit.

I'm been off a bit. We criticize what we are. Okay, well, listen, Christopher, it's very unusual. I've never had Kevin here when I talked to a fan, and we've tried this once. We won't do it again. Not with Conan anyway. It's just going to be Kevin from now on.

But I understand you might have a question. Is that right? If you were a tag team, you and Kevin, and what would be your characters or your name. That's interesting. So we're a team. The amoebas.

The amoebas? Because we're kind of, right? Yeah, we're very similar. And then we could be amoebas where we have to, we enter the ring together, sort of enmeshed together, and then we split apart,

one fights, and then that has to... I got a better idea. Wait, are you saying I shouldn't have run with this idea? I got a better idea. Let's be amoebas. The Siamese twins.

We fight in one costume. Wait. So we're both in one costume. And so the other one just doesn't do any. Well, only one can fight at a time and the other is just sitting there? No, they both fight the same time. We both fight. It's much better if we're attached, but when I'm fighting Chris, you're just doing nothing but looking around.

As always. Yeah, and kind of, yeah, you're just inert. and then when I tag you, you switch and I swing to the rear. And now I'm behind you and I'm looking at the crowd and I'm a nerd. What move is that called, Chris? What we call that move? The little reach-around? Yeah, it's called the reach-around.

Yeah, it's called the old reach-around. Hey, look, they're doing the reach-around. Conan and Kevin are doing the reach-around. You guys would just be, you guys would die instantly. I think you're right. They would die. that you walk into the ring, everybody would hate you.

They would hate us. Because you guys would be doing so many bits. We'd be doing bits in the rent. We'd be arguing and doing bits. And then whichever one wasn't wrestling, the other's just hanging off his back. On the phone. On the phone and doing bits.

Yeah. On the phone buying stuff. The most hated duo in all of wrestling. Yeah. Everyone hates you guys so much. They boo-o says we're coming out on the walk. You got to admit we would be hated. We would be good heels.

But that's good to be hated in the ring, right? If you get a lot of hate coming at you, that's a good... Yeah, you're doing your job. You're doing your job properly. That's like Conan here. Okay. He's doing a good job, by the way. Not cool.

Just not cool. Chris, what are you doing tonight? I'm going to record drums with my band. Oh, fun. Oh, tell us about your band. I'm in a punk rock band here in Tucson called Planet Strict 9. That is great. And so you play drums?

I'm the drummer and we're going to put out a record pretty soon. I just recorded like 20 tracks. Is it kind of like thrash metal? What are we talking? How hardcore is this? It's kind of like bad religion and those type of punk bands, bouncing souls. Yep. You got to, where do you perform?

The reato theater sometimes, 191 tool here. and then we usually go to Bisbee, Arizona. That's where the band originally was from. Chris, is it a music we could dance to? You can get down to that, but you might get hit in the face. I'm about to hit him in the face. He's going to get hit in the face. It won't have any to do with your music.

No, I like to go to the Rialto and dance. Yeah, I'm sure you do. Oh, my God. If you guys were a tag team, you would fight each other more than you would fight the other people. Yeah, the wrestler, the wrestler would just be like, wait, what's going on? And you and I would just be wailing on each other.

In one costume. In one costume, wailing on each other. For the old reach around. We each reach around. All right, Chris. I'm going to let you go, Christopher. Christopher Hack, you are a gentleman, and you seem like a very cool guy,

and thank you very much for listening to our nonsense. Yeah, you're a good man. I apologize for Conan. And I apologize for Kevin, but I don't apologize for you because you seem like a cool guy. Good luck with the band. And the drink.

Thanks so much. It was a pleasure. Yes, Chris. I just want to shout up my company. It's called Rockstar Wrestling Alliance because I do music and wrestling and put it together. Cool. Well, I always leave room for the plug.

Carson taught me that. Carson Daily. Hey, Chris, paintings. Kevin Nealandart.com. Unbelievable. Yeah, if you ever have trouble, just down 911. All right, man.

Take care. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Cool. Thank you. Bye. Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien.

O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Goreley. Produced by me, Matt Goreley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and Nick Leow. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising producer Aaron Blair, Associate talent producer Jennifer Samples. Associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm.

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