Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - The Sona and Matt of New Zealand

Episode Date: November 28, 2024

Conan chats with Glenn in Auckland, NZ about working a morning radio show and to offer advice on lovingly evicting adult children from the house. Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? Submit here: tea...mcoco.com/apply Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/conan.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started. Hi Glenn and welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Hi. How are you? Calling from Auckland in New Zealand.
Starting point is 00:00:19 Hi. Oh, wow. Auckland, New Zealand. Yes. Help me. Which part of New Zealand is that? I'm trying to think. Are you on the north or the south?
Starting point is 00:00:27 Where is Auckland? So it's the largest city in New Zealand, and it's in the North Island. So about, I guess, two thirds, four fifths of the way up, something like that, of the North Island. Okay. Well, now I'm completely confused. I've never been to New Zealand before, but I've always wanted to go.
Starting point is 00:00:47 The people I meet from New Zealand are fantastic. And of course I've seen, of course, many images of New Zealand and it looks beautiful. I just haven't experienced it myself. So I'm anxious to see it one day. Right, well, Auckland is called, is known as the city of sails, because, yeah, we have a beautiful, we're surrounded by a beautiful harbour.
Starting point is 00:01:08 We have a harbour bridge that's kind of like a, it's like a little version of the Sydney harbour bridge. Sails. Yeah, the reason, the reason that you've only even met nice New Zealanders is because we send all the horrible ones to Australia. Now I've been to Australia, I've been there several times. So you know what I'm talking about, right? Now I've been to Australia, I've been there several times. So you know what I'm talking about, right?
Starting point is 00:01:26 Oh God, just filled with horrible New Zealanders. Let's talk Glenn, tell me a little bit about yourself. You seem, I'm guessing you work in radio because you seem to have a professional setup there and you seem very comfortable on mic. Is that a correct assumption? Yes, that is a correct assumption. So, yeah, I've literally just come off the air.
Starting point is 00:01:49 That's not my show. Yeah. I'm kind of like the Matt Andor sonar of the show. So I just chip in when... Oh, so you're expendable. Oh. A real part of any show. You could go at any time and... That couldn't do without.
Starting point is 00:02:03 People wouldn't care. Listen, please, those are just jokes. I love you guys, and of course, you're an essential part of this stew. Little lentils. And I am the large piece of delicious beef. That's for sure. That is for sure. Glenn, so you work on a radio show.
Starting point is 00:02:20 Do you get recognized at all when you walk around? Only if I talk, because people don't really know what I look like. They've only ever heard me. Uh, so, uh, yeah, they're usually pretty disappointed when they see what I look like. Oh! That is not true, Glenn.
Starting point is 00:02:33 You're a fine looking fellow. No. You're a very good looking gentleman. And so people must get excited, say when you order a pizza over the phone, they must say, oh my God, is this Glenn Hart asking for New Zealand's finest pizza? I can't say that's happened to me,
Starting point is 00:02:46 but I did once when I was on a plane, and everybody's doing the overhead baggage situation, that kind of pre-flight jostle around. Somebody at that point said, hey, are you Glenn off the radio? And so then I had that moment of, oh no, am I about to be stuck sitting next to somebody who is a big fan of the show they could go either way but luckily New Zealanders are pretty shy and yeah he left me alone. Wait are
Starting point is 00:03:13 you saying are you saying you didn't want to sit next to a big fan? That's my favorite thing. I call ahead to the airline and I say can you find out who knows Conan O'Brien and can you seat them next to me and then can we talk about my career arc? This is a New Zealand thing right? So you know, you guys love to put people on a pedestal, you love to be the person on the pedestal. Yes, yes!
Starting point is 00:03:38 In New Zealand, the tall poppy syndrome is, you know, is live and large. I see. the poppy syndrome is, you know, is live and large. And so, yeah, once anybody gets too successful, you know, then it's up to the rest of us to pull them down to our level. Okay, I understand. We all think we could be the prime minister if we just gave it a go, for example. I mean, I think we all feel that way.
Starting point is 00:03:59 That's a very American belief. Yeah, in the United States, we all feel that way these days. Glenn, tell me a little bit about your life. I wanna get to know Glenn Hart from Auckland, New Zealand. What's going on in your life? Well, so because I work in breakfast radio, I have to arrive here at the station about 3.45 a.m.
Starting point is 00:04:17 Nope. So that means my alarm goes off at 2.52. Car passed. Oh my God. So, Sona, you don't want a job at breakfast radio? No, I'm good, I'll pass. She just threw up on the floor. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:30 Sona's working hours in her contract are one in the afternoon to 1.30 in the afternoon. Yes. And then we have to pay for her Uber to and fro. That sounds like a big day. So you get up at close to two o'clock in the morning. What time do you go to bed? As soon as I can.
Starting point is 00:04:47 All I ever wanna do is be asleep. So generally about quarter past eight. I try and get a little nap in in the afternoon after lunch, depending on what's going on in my life, because otherwise by about six p.m., I'm not making any sense at all. Yeah, you haven't made a lick of sense since you got on with us.
Starting point is 00:05:07 No, well, it could be the accent. Yeah, and you're bleeding from the mouth. Just a little word to the wise. Okay, so you've got crazy hours. Do you have a family? Yep, so I have a wife and two daughters, grown up daughters. They did both actually leave and go off to university,
Starting point is 00:05:27 and then both came back again. And so- How do you feel about that, Glenn? I think we know. How do you feel about that, Glenn? Yeah, I think Matt picked up on a little tone there as I said about that. There was about a six-week period when my wife and I were empty nesters. We just sat around frequently just looking at each other going, saying things like, Hey, what do you want for dinner? And we'd say, Oh, I don't know, just a toasted sandwich would be fine. Sure.
Starting point is 00:05:57 And everything was nice and casual. You're not cooking for anybody. You're not driving people around to places. And then six weeks went by and then it all went out the window again. Wait, so you had six weeks of being empty nesters, then they're back. Yes.
Starting point is 00:06:11 They're back in the house. Then one of them broke up with their boyfriend and moved back in. What are your daughter's names? So Billy and Macy. Okay, Billy and Macy. I get the sense that you wouldn't be unhappy if Billy and Macy maybe got their own place.
Starting point is 00:06:25 Yeah, I mean, don't get me wrong. I love these girls, right? Yes. But, so Billy, for example, she has her master's in classical performance music in clarinet. And so she's gone on to be a teacher. She teaches other kids how to play clarinet.
Starting point is 00:06:42 And she also plays piano and teaches piano, teaches saxophone. And sometimes she does this in her house while I'm trying to get that afternoon nap. So, you know, it would be great if that was just happening. And the other daughter loves clogging. She likes to wear the traditional lead clogs, which are the before wood. Okay, so listen, don't get me wrong.
Starting point is 00:07:10 I understand what you're saying. You're a good dad. You and your wife love your kids, but it might be nice if they had their own place. Yes? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. How do you suggest he does that? Well, how would it go over if I spoke to them?
Starting point is 00:07:24 Oh. Would I have any sway with your daughters at all? How do you suggest he does that? Well, how would it go over if I spoke to them? Would I have any sway with your daughters at all? Well, maybe so my so when I told my Family that I was coming on this podcast my and I said, you know who kind of no Brian is right? Mm-hmm, and they were kind of semi blank stares. They sort of had a had an idea Yeah, and I explained, you know kind of he's famous, you know of had an idea. And I explained, you know, Conan, he's a famous, you know, late show host, you know? And my youngest daughter said, oh, he's not one of the bad ones, is he?
Starting point is 00:07:53 Ugh. He didn't do something bad, did he? Well, yes, I've done bad things. But I know. I didn't know. But we covered it up. It was in the late 80s before I got on television. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:05 OK, so they're not, they don't sound like they're super fans of mine. To put it mildly. Yeah, let's put it that way. Listen, sometimes a blank stare, you can see a little bit of slight recognition in there. Maybe if they saw my face, it would change from blank stare more to, I don't know, horror. Who can say which way it would go?
Starting point is 00:08:25 But I'm very convincing Glenn, and maybe I could find them a place and move them into it. What do you think? This sounds, this is music to my ears. Yeah. I have been waiting for somebody to come along and someone's gotta look for me. And not clarinet, which is great, yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:38 So, she's a great clarinet player, but you know, it's like SpongeBob and Squidward, right? There's only so much that you can take and then- Listen, the clarinet is fine in doses and that's fine, but she sounds very talented. They sound like lovely young women, but I think they need to move out of your house. And I think they need to talk to someone.
Starting point is 00:09:00 They look up to an admirer. Unfortunately, we don't know who that is. But I mean, you are taller than both of them, so they would be looking out to you. Are they? You know, sometimes, what about old Simpsons episodes? Maybe I could show them old Simpsons. Sometimes people who don't know my work now like old Simpsons episodes that I worked on.
Starting point is 00:09:23 Yeah, no, one of my daughters was just saying the other night they just rewatched the monorail episode. There you go! There you go! I know, I know. You could say the man behind the monorail episode is here and he's gonna help you move into a new apartment. Yeah, boy has he got something to sell you.
Starting point is 00:09:42 Yes, exactly. Then I could sing the monorail song to them. I'm telling you, I could- Monorail. Monorail. Yes, I know. Monorail. Apartment.
Starting point is 00:09:52 Apartment. Apartment. Yes. It's nice and cozy on your own. Apartment. Apartment. It's kind of a separate home. Apartment.
Starting point is 00:10:01 Apartment. This bed folds out and it sleeps too. Apartment. Apartment. Apartment. Don't rig dad after two. Yeah, apartment. Apartment. Apartment. See? We're doing it. I think the two of us could get them out of the house. And I say that again with love.
Starting point is 00:10:18 I mean, I like it. Me too, absolutely. I know you love them. Me less so, because they don't seem to know my work. But I'll get over it. I'll get over it. But I like you, Glenn. And I would like to, I'd like to help.
Starting point is 00:10:33 I'd like to help you if I could, that's all. Hey, that's all I can ask. Well, no, a lot of people ask for other things too. I was gonna give you money, but you said that's all I can ask, so. You fucked that up real good. Just a one time offer, okay. And what about the show?
Starting point is 00:10:49 If I went on the show, would I be a good guest for your show, or is it not that kind of program? Is it more serious? No, it most definitely is that kind of program. I mean, for instance, I'm a big fan of the show, and I've been on the show for a while now.
Starting point is 00:10:57 And I've been on the show for a while now. And I've been on the show for a while now. And I've been on the show for a while now. And I've been on the show for a while now. And I've been on the show for a while now. And I've been on the show for a while now. And I've been on the show for a while now. And I've been on the show for a while now. And I've been on the show for a while now. And I've been on the show for a while now. And I've been on the show for a while now. And I've been on the show for would I be a good guest for your show or is it not that kind of program?
Starting point is 00:11:05 Is it more serious? No, it most definitely is that kind of program. I mean, for instance, we had the big country star Luke Combs on the show just this week. Do your kids know who Luke Combs is? I really hope not. I'm not a huge fan myself of country music, but. Wow, well, I'm glad Luke Combs already did the interview.
Starting point is 00:11:24 I know. I'm glad he's out of the building. Hey, well I'm glad Luke Combs already did the interview. I know. I'm glad he's out of the building. Hey, you got him on tape, so. I hope not. Wow, I just can't believe I did a drive-by on Luke Combs. Yeah, you just shit on a guest on your show who you were bragging about. You're like, hey, we got Luke Combs.
Starting point is 00:11:43 Do you like him? No! Wow. You're like, hey, we got Luke Combs. Do you like him? No. Oh, wow. So the question is, like, Conan, could you get up early enough in the morning to come in and be on a breakfast show? Of course I could. Are you an early riser? Yeah, of course I could get up.
Starting point is 00:11:55 Hey, listen, I'm ready to go anytime, day or night. Okay, I am always present, always ready to go. Right, well, then you'd be a perfect guest. Let me ask you, maybe because you've been working in broadcasting for a long time in the radio section, I only started doing the podcast about five years ago. Is there any advice you can give me? Any advice for Conan?
Starting point is 00:12:19 I'm always looking to improve. No. I'm just kidding. I'm sorry, that. No. I'm just kidding. I'm sorry, that was funny. I know, but you can see why I was so taken aback, because I've been listening for pretty much the whole duration of the podcast, Conan. Yeah, I know, I was kidding about the whole advice thing.
Starting point is 00:12:36 I wasn't expecting you to ask for it. Yeah, I know, I don't know what I was thinking. Listen. Listen, I like you. You seem like a fine fellow. You've got a good sense of humor. You wear a shirt that matches exactly the color of what's behind you.
Starting point is 00:12:53 Just why you'll never be a weatherman. Like I say, New Zealanders, we just like to fade into the background. Yeah, exactly. How would I get along in New Zealand? If I come to New Zealand, how would the people treat me, do you think? I think that they might, there is a guy called Chris Parker who is a tall, redheaded comedian
Starting point is 00:13:14 in New Zealand, and people might think that you're him if they don't know that you're you. Okay. That's fine. Yeah. As long as he's well-liked, I'll take it. Yeah, yeah, no, he's very popular. So if I go into restaurants and say I'm Chris Barker and I want a lamb pie, they'll serve it up.
Starting point is 00:13:33 That'll work well, except in New Zealand, we have this thing, so you know the rule of six degrees of separation, right? Yep. That everybody knows everybody in the world, because you know somebody who knows somebody who somebody yeah but in New Zealand we call that rule two degrees. So so so like I said there's only five million people here so we know somebody who knows somebody right so chances are you go into that restaurant and Chris back will actually be sitting there anyway yeah. be sitting there anyway. Yeah. Okay. So that's my scam won't work. My scam of running a big tab and putting it on this red-haired Chris Parker, probably not
Starting point is 00:14:08 gonna work out. And that's one of the main reasons why I wanted to be on your show Conan because you know you've talked to all these fantastic people. You know people like Jeff Goldblum, people like Harrison Ford, and now I'm only two degrees away from those people. It's fantastic. Aren't you just one degree away? Well I know you, you know them. Two, that's two. I always get confused by this too. I get confused by it too.
Starting point is 00:14:29 I think it's two, because if it was just you, then you'd be one degree. I think it's more with Harrison Ford, because he can be a very distant person. Yeah. Oh. So I think it's five degrees of separation. He's a degree and a half at least. Yeah, he's a degree and a half.
Starting point is 00:14:41 He certainly sounded like he was trying to separate himself a little bit further away during the podcast. I tend to frighten him. I like this. I like talking to you and I wish you all the best with your daughters. And I think maybe if you start familiarizing them with my work, who knows?
Starting point is 00:15:02 Yes. Then I'll have more. I've been trying to get them. Who more. I've been trying to get them to watch Conan Must Go. Trying to get them to watch. Yes. Drink this acid. Do it, it's country. Maybe if you go visit, first thing you have to do is an orientation where you do a presentation
Starting point is 00:15:19 on who you are to them. Yes. Then you can get them in an apartment. Maybe that's what I do. Nice, like a PowerPoint. Yeah, I'll do a PowerPoint presentation on who I am and why they should care. And then I'll tell them to get out of the house.
Starting point is 00:15:31 Yeah. Yes, so you can stand in front of a green screen with a pointer. Yeah. And here's the monorail on the Simpsons. Here's me looking a Norwegian in the street. Yeah, the whole arc of my career. That's all you know. That's all you know.
Starting point is 00:15:48 Oh, my God. You just took Lincoln from Woodchopper to Ford's Theatre and you skipped the whole rest of the part. Listen. And then here's the house. Here's the apartment. Yes. Away from the house or the flat, as we would call it in New Zealand. Ah. We'll get you into a flat.
Starting point is 00:16:05 I'm going to- How nice. Well, I hope someday we meet. I hope maybe it's possible that I can get your daughters to move nearby because you do love them. You care about them. Absolutely. You want them to, but enough of the clarinet at two in the morning.
Starting point is 00:16:23 And we'll try and see if we can make that happen. I think that'd be nice. That would be a dream. Yeah, dream come true. Well, that's what I do. Some people say I make dreams come true. I've never, no one's ever said that yet. Okay.
Starting point is 00:16:38 What I said was it was aspirational. Okay. That someday someone's gonna say you made my dreams come true. I see. Something that hasn't been said yet, but could be said in the future. Okay. But someday someone's gonna say you made my dreams come true. I see. Something that hasn't been said yet, but could be said in the future. Okay.
Starting point is 00:16:48 So what you're saying is you could be in my dreams tonight. You frightened me. I didn't see you there. You drifted into the background again. Glenn, you're a madman. Hey, I haven't had a lot of sleep. I'm sorry. Yeah, you're a sleep deprived madman. Have a great day or night.
Starting point is 00:17:07 I don't know, what time of day is it where you are now? It is just coming up to 10 in the morning here. Okay, so probably time for you to go to bed. Yeah, it's almost past my bedtime. Well, my best to you, not my best to your daughters, because they don't seem to give a shit, but we'll correct that. And- Yeah, we'll work on that.
Starting point is 00:17:25 Have a terrific day. And I hope our paths cross. I really do. Okay, so do I. I really hope they do. You never know. You never know in this crazy world what's gonna happen. All right, go change your shirt.
Starting point is 00:17:40 Bye-bye. Bye. See ya. Lovely to meet you, Matt and Sona. Conan O'Brien needs a fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Avsesian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Leal. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.
Starting point is 00:18:03 Supervising producer, Aaron Blayard. Jimmy. And subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are down.

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