Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Weird Around The Eyes

Episode Date: July 13, 2023

Conan chats with Greg in Kildare about playing the bassoon in a symphony orchestra.

Konan O'Brien needs a fan. Wanna talk to Konan? Visit teamkoko.com slash callkonan. Okay, let's get started. Hi Greg, you're on Konan O'Brien needs a fan. Hi guys, how's it going? Hey Greg, how are you? How are you?

I'm very well, Konan, how are you? I'm doing very well. I'm guessing you're living from the accent. I'm guessing you're coming to us from Ireland. Where are you in Ireland? Yeah, well spotted. I'm from Dublin, originally, but I live in Kildare now, which is just west of Dublin.

Just like the first county outside. Do you call it Dublin or Dublin? I call it Dublin, yeah. Although the old Irish name is like, Duvling. Right. So, name is like, Duvling. Right, so which means like black, black lake or black poo. Yeah. But yeah, Dublin for me.

Okay, that's when I'll call it Dublin as well. I never know, I always want to learn, you know, the correct pronunciation of things. And so sometimes I've been talking to an old Irish sad and he'll call it Dublin. And I think, is he just messing with me? Is he? I didn't know. Yeah.

Okay. He might be messing with you, I don't know. Yeah. It's not one I've heard before. Yeah, it turns out he was from Portugal. So maybe that's something to do with it. Well, tell us, Greg, here's what I know about you. You live in Kildair, is that right?

Kildair, yeah. And not too far from Dublin. What do you do? So I'm a musician. I'm a classical musician. killed air, is that right? Killed air, yeah. And not too far from double. What do you do? So I'm a musician. I'm a classical musician. And so I play in an orchestra, in the symphony orchestra. Which symphony orchestra?

Do you play in? And then the national symphony orchestra. Wow, that is impressive. Very good. And can I ask you, what's your instrument? That's a personal question. I'm a bassoonist. Oh, you're a bassoonist?

A bassoon player. Yeah. You mentioned a bassoonist quite actually, quite frequently in your last few podcasts over the world. So did I? The one with Zach. Zach, I think the one with Zach Braff, he mentioned it. He was talking about directing and how it's like being a conductor.

And he was like, it's probably don't remember it. But anytime a bassoonist mentioned in mainstream things, I was like, ah, it's you probably don't remember it But anytime I'm a bassoon is mentioned in mainstream things. I'm like, ah, bassoon They mentioned it. They know what it is. It's funny because I just Just do now. Apparently, it's soon as mentioned. I just go with different plays Well, no, this is the bassoon world goes crazy anytime we hear Well, this is a big moment then for the this is a big moment for the bassoon world because Oh, it's yeah, this is a big moment for the bassoon world because oh yeah this is now glitter is lighting up right

yeah. Oh you assume Twitter is exploded. I mean forget about it. 200 of us probably around the world. What is and all the bassoon dating sites are just blowing up right now. What whatever said she'd been I'm guessing you've been playing

the bassoon since since childhood. Yeah I didn't I didn't really choose I don't I think guessing you've been playing the bassoon since childhood? Yeah, I didn't really choose it. I don't think if you ask every bassoonist I'll have a different story. I don't think anyone like comes out when they're a child and is like, I want to play the bassoon. I need to play the bassoon. That's all I can do. So my brother actually started playing it first because the local music college had a severe lack of bassoons, bassoonists and French hornists, so they had these instruments in the cupboard and they needed them to be played, basically. So my brother started it first, lasted about two weeks, but we had the instrument rented for the whole year, so my dad was just like, okay, next child, let's

take it open. How many, how many, I love that he didn't know any names. Greg, I'll tell you something. I grew up, how many siblings are there in your family? And so the seven of us all together is that? Okay, I'm one of six. And often, no names were used. It was just that one. Oh yeah, yeah.

You know, I'm only talking about the other one. There was a lot of that because who has to figure out Which round fat Irish head is rich I would frequently get the get the names wrong as well. Yeah, he wanted a Komi Greck. He go David Richie Connor Gregg Yes, yes, we would get you need to go in the day In your ass hall That's the one. That's the only way we would get. You need to go into the game. Luke, Kate Jean doesn't, that, code in your an asshole. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Wow, okay, so this is serious.

You are a, you are a bassoonist in a, a symphony orchestra in, in Dublin, I think that's very impressive. Oh, thank you. Yeah, yeah. Is it a difficult instrument? Do you think it's an instrument that I could learn to play? It's not as difficult as the problem as maybe people,

I don't know, maybe people don't think about the suit too much, but it looks like a different instrument. I've got some bad news for you. Yeah, I got real bad news for you. We've done a poll. We didn't even know about you, but about a week ago, we did a poll on who cares about the suit and then. The number of judges coming in and it's not looking good.

No, but seriously, is it... I play some music. I think you definitely could. I think you definitely could. Yeah. What are the attributes you play guitars? Yeah. What are the attributes I have? They could help me play the bassoon well. You need to be a bit quirky. That's me. The weird around the eyes. Sort of think people look at you funny. Yep. I think, I think, I think, we're good.

Oh my God. Chats. Chats got it. What's next, Jack? What's next? So you just see, yeah, it just, and then it just seems to power. I talk constantly and I don't even need it. I go days without inhaling.

I just, I, when When I speak it's just one long exhale for 24 hours. You do circular breathing but for bits instead of using a bunch of sticks. Yeah, and you also have good lips as well. What's good about my lips? Well, they're kind of thin and I think you could be able to form a good ambusher around the read because we use what's called a read like obuoists or like when if you clarinet or saxophone we'd use a single read, we use a double read, create like a good seal. Right. Or in the...

Did you just, Greg, did you just call me thin lips? I'm crazy eyed. Yeah. So you said I'd be a good personist because I'm crazy eyed and thin lips. Weird around the eyes. Weird around the eyes. We're around the eyes. Yeah. That was a very hard one.

It's so good in my head as well before I just say great. If you saw, if you didn't know me, but you saw me rob a bank in Kildare and the police came, the guard showed up and they said, did you see? Yes, I saw him. Would you say he was weird around the eyes and thin left? Is that the description you would give to the police? I say he looks like he plays the bassoon. That's probably what I'm talking about. Oh, you can tell. He's a known bassoonist.

He's ruined, ruined. But it's just good for, because you need a good seal around the reed. So if you have those kind of, those good lips so that the air doesn't leak. Yeah, it's good. It's really good fit. Yeah, non-lips. That's good. Well, that's good to know. I think I would take a crack at it, but I tell me what role does the bassoon play in most symphonic orchestrations? So we're like, we're usually the, we're stereotypically, I'd say, the jokes through the orchestra. So we play lots of kind of bum kind of notes, like low notes and with a harsh kind of razzi sound. Can you give me an example? With your just vocally, can you give me an example? Or do you have a bassoon with you? Just like, I do have my bassoon with me actually. Yeah, I would

think you would. Yeah. Can you give us an example on my bassoon? Yeah. I could do that. Yeah, sure. Take my, this is what we have. This is what your lips would do with the trees. My lips are so thin, I don't even need that. I wouldn't use a read.

My finger like forming natural read. OK. So yeah, as I was saying, we have we play a lot of low notes basically. Okay. Okay. There we go. No, right. First of all, back up a little bit so we can see this amazing instrument of the year. You said you play kind of quirky, joky things. Give me an example of what that would sound like. Yeah. Oh wow. I want... Ah, there's a cottage there. I might go in, I just hope, but which doesn't live inside?

Oh no, a witch does live inside! And she plays jazz on a bassoon! Hey Craig! Wow, what a great play! You know what? Craig, I think you should immediately quit your job and you and I should take this act on the road. I improvise children's stories and you stand next to me. No, I'm not going to say we're splitting the take 50-50. That's not going to happen.

It's going to be actually a split that will appall you once you actually see it on paper. You just found out the split. Let's hear your bassoon's reaction to the, Tony gets 98%. Yeah, you get 2%. Yeah, here's the deal. I get of the money.

Oh. Wow, I think I just had a tricky out of me. Well, listen, Greg, that is, you're very talented. You're a very, what a talented, likeable guy. You really are. And I don't know, I've never tried a woodwind instrument. I've never tried to play one. And I don't know if I would do very well.

I'm not sure I have. I know that I have the thin lips and the creepy eyes. The weird around you. It's your weird around you. It doesn't matter. It's pretty poetic. Okay, weird around the eyes. But I love the idea.

I think you might surprise yourself. I think you could fit in. I love the idea of me narrating things in you doing the reactions that really makes me happy. Yeah. And then I think you could fit in. I love the idea of me narrating things in you doing the reactions. That really makes me happy. Yeah. And then I think that could. And guess what?

We could use Greg in studio when I'm talking to people. I mean, that would just be amazing if I was talking to celebrities or talking to any, the three of us talking and then Sonia makes a joke and whop, whop, whop, you know. I guess. I like it. and Sonia makes a joke and wap wap, you know. I guess I like it. Are we gonna fly him in from Ireland?

Or are we gonna go to Ireland? Um, oh my gosh. Nice. I feel like we should be, I think it's so good. I should go to Ireland for, or Ireland, or, we could just go from there.

Greg comes to Los Angeles at his own expense. He's gonna be a big boy. Yeah, make him pay. Yeah, and he tries to put his precious bassoon in the overhead compartment and it smashes. Oh, fuck. And then I refuse to reimburse him. This is a really fun story.

Wow, this took a dark turn, Greg. I don't know what happened here. It is bassoon. That's something I am always worried about though, those overhead lockers in the bassoon. Well, I've known, I've known just when I've tried to take my guitar on airplanes and they try and pry it out of my hands and throw it in the bottom of the airplane. That's because you're playing it live in the airplane. Yeah, usually get on the plane playing it.

Well, I'm not sure this craft is safe. Let me say, sir, please stop singing that song. We're pretty much all gonna get COVID. They lie about the hip of filters on the plane. Got a lot of minor chords, my songs. Well Greg, I really like, I like meeting Greg. Yeah, I mean, something like a really nice guy and you're very funny and I'm worried you're living in a prison dorm though.

Yeah, your mattress is all rolled up in the background. You have nothing on the wall. Oh, I know, yeah. And I think there's a single toilet. So my guess is you this is like, I've I've known my partner hates that I've kind of duped to this room for a bassoon room. So there is a bed, but it's not used. So I put a desk in here. Are you saying your partner can't sleep while you play bassoon scales? Baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, We can still converse like regular people, but we do play together.

We do do some concerts here and there. But he has a joy and joy at the moment, so he hasn't been able to play as much. Oh, wow. We've got to protect the job if you make your living with a little instrument. Yeah, exactly. We should wear a full motorcycle helmet at all times. You know, the whole wrap around helmet. At all times.

And you too, you've got to protect those, the mouth and jaw at all times. I'll get you guys motorcycle helmets to wear when you're not flying. Be great if right when the concert ended just before the curtain comes down. These people can see you put a full motorcycle helmet when visor over your head. And start to walk out the door. The problem would be the read, the reads breaking when I keep trying to bring it to my mouth. Yeah, you forget it's on and then you gotta lift the visor. All right. Lift the visor. All right. Well, Greg, who lives and kill there,

but commutes the Dublin to play, to play in the bassoon in a symphony orchestra. I just summed you up perfectly. I'm very nice to meet you. I'm off to the cosmetic surgeon to have fillers put in my lips. And then I'm gonna see someone about my eyes. I don't know what go ahead and say can you make me normal around the eyes? Yeah, the doctor will say you make me a much I can't I need to

Yeah, there's much I can do but that I cannot do I'm sorry. I entrubbed you Greg. What you gonna say? No, if you're at the cosmetic surgery just say you just say you need a job that makes you unbesooned like, exactly what you mean. Everyone knows. Yes, now I know what to do. Well, Greg, really nice meeting you and talking to you. And, yeah, I hope our paths cross one day,

but this was a real treat, thank you. Oh, absolutely, hopefully. If you ever need a besooness in studio, I got it here, put in the overhead locker. I'll be over. You know what? Now I'm thinking of all bassoon ideas. Yeah.

So you're, you are, you are now officially the Conan O'Brien needs a friend, bassoon player. We will accept no substitutes. Well, thank you, Greg. Take care. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you guys. Bye guys. Conan O'Brien needs a fan with Conan O'Brien sonum of Sessian and Matt Gourley, produced by me, Matt Gourley, executive produced by Adam Sacks, Nick Leal, and Jeff Ross at team Coco

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