Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - What's The Craic?

Episode Date: June 29, 2023

Conan talks to Henry from County Donegal about working as a local tour guide and tips for being taken seriously in everyday life.

Konan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Konan? Visit teamcoCo.com slash call Konan. Okay, let's get started. Henry, welcome to Konan O'Brien needs a fan. Hello there everybody. What's the crack? What's the crack?

What's the crack? What's the crack? I've never heard that. That's sort of a crack me if I'm wrong, Henry. But what's the crack means? What's the scuttle butt? We guys talking about what's the gossip the hot goss? Is that right exactly what's the scuttle book? That's exactly what we mean? Yeah Scuttle butt is an ancient Greek term Henry your name is Henry. What's your last name Henry? Henry do him and where are you coming to us from?

I'm calling from Cody Dunigall in an Duhan. And where are you coming to us from? I'm calling from Kirti Dunigal in the Northwest of Ireland. Oh God bless you, sir. God bless you. It's nice to talk to you. Tell me a little bit about, I'm just, I'm fascinated. You've probably heard me talk about this, but my people have been in the United States

for over 100 years, but I am still genetically 100% Irish, which is disgusting, if you really get into it. I'm with you on this. No, no. Now, Tommy Henry, but I think to myself all the time, there are people in Ireland who are a quarter Spanish or a half French or they got some belt. What about you?

What's your story? Well, as you can see, I am probably, I'm as pale as yourself. As I think, Bell Hicks once said, we, like, people in America have really tan skin and white teeth. We have tan teeth and white skin. Yeah. So, God bless, Bill. So, yeah.

Yeah, I am, I'm pretty much, I think I'm a hundred percent Irish like yourself. And I think you're probably one of her, you're a, you're a best guy. I don't know about, I think I'm 100% Irish like yourself. And I think you're probably one of her. You're a best guy. I don't know about that. I don't know. It's a terrible burden to bear, to be 100% Irish. Do you have crazy nightmares I do?

I feel like I'm somewhat insane. Do you find that it's a burden being 100% Irish? Do you know what? You could be worse things in fairness. You know, we're lucky enough to have a lot of whiskey to time, throwing them sorrows. Are you suggesting there's like a form of Irish nightmare that's distinct only to the Irish? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, the bar is always closed.

But you bring up a good point, Henry. There are many worse things. I can't think of any at the time, but I'm sure there are and I like your attitude. You have a very positive attitude, Henry. Well, I'm very, very positive today. Usually, usually I'm a very cynical, annoyed person, but today I'm on cloud nine today speaking with yourselves. Oh, that's so nice. Henry, had you, have you been listening to the podcast or are you a fan? Oh, here, look at this, see this thing in the behind me there. Yeah, that is their original Nick little Tentay, Stumpman costume from your show, oh, that's a sketch. That's a sketch we did.

Many years ago, don't be too martin did it. It was a very funny sketch. Yeah, you bought that yeah my wife bought it for me yeah so when you were finishing up with late night the believe you kind of auctioned off a lot of I don't think I did by the way I don't think I did I think you have that ill I think someone was selling shit at NBC but it was not me so I'm glad your wife got it and I'm glad that it went to a real fan, but no. Well, I'm very sorry. Yeah, I'm bloody. It was a cost of pretty penny as well for something that's been on the ethic for, uh, for about 10 years. Oh, man. Yeah, I really want to investigate this now because someone at NBC way back in 2009 said, well,

Conan's leaving. Let's, let's sell all of his stuff and keep the money. And I have some ideas as to who it might have been. Do you know what the worst thing is? She also bought me a night with Andy Richter as well for some reason. Oh, trust me, you will not regret it. You will not regret it.

I have it. I've never, I've never been held more tenderly in my entire life Henry and my night with Andy Rick. He looks very cuddly. No, I was gonna say no I'm one of your OG fans. I believe from back in the back in the day. Oh, well, you're a young lad You must have said you grow up watching the late night show. I grew up. I was a teet. So in Ireland here We don't have an NBC the same as yourselves there. So in Ireland here, we don't have NBC, the same as yourself there. So, so full disclosure, the way I can discover you was back there, I used to watch in satellite TV. Yep. And my brother emigrated to America and he didn't pay the satellite bill. So we had no other channels to watch,

but MSNBC are from Germany. Yep. So I discovered your show from that. Oh, that's right. They reran us for a while on MSNBC, I think. Or C-MBC. So one of those. So I had the choice of watching yourself are going to mass on South of the neck. So, oh, that's a crossroads from...

That is a dirty crossroads. You know what I love, Henry? I love that you basically just said, I, as a teenager, I watched you because I had level to no choice. That's like a tragedy where you got to choose to go between the island with the monsters and the world. It's really, I know, but I, but I will say,

I will say, Henry, I don't care how I get fans. The fact that you basically were forced to watch, that works for me too. As long as you, we got you in the tent, I'm happy. I know, I'm stupid. You know what, I couldn't have been a better default fan than the Coneville Brain Fan was fantastic. Well, tell me a little bit. What do you do, Henry?

What's your livelihood? Oh, well, I am very, very lucky. I run my own business. It's Donniegol Turgate, Donnie, and I am a Turgate. And I drive people around Donniegall every day showing them all at the lovely countryside. So you just say there's a green bus shrub. There's another one.

There's some really green grass. There's a guy with a hat standing by the side of the road with a shovel. There's more green grass. What are you showing them? Well, Donniegall is like the most beautiful county. I don't want to ostracize from me from the other 31 counties here in the country, but no, it's a beautiful, beautiful spot here. It's, it's, the fourth

largest county, we've got 1200 kilometers, well, over 12 hundred kilometers coastline, and it's also known as the Frecoquen County of Ireland. So people, hasn't been a lot of visitors coming here in the past few years. So, well, we've been hearing it. It really must be beautiful and special if everyone in Ireland forgot about it.

Here, that was an earthfall. I was like, oh, it's so special. Really? Yeah, everyone forgot. Well, we say that is because we are kind of like the pure cousins. We have no infrastructure coming up here. There's no motorways and we're bartered by Northern Ireland as well. So beautiful. Yeah, even though the rest of the country they forget it a bit. But you know what? We don't, you know, we're okay with that. Can you show me on that map that's behind you where you are? Can you just point on a map to where you are right now?

You mind? Yeah, where's it? We're right up here. This is a funny go all up here. Oh, there you go. Okay. Oh, wow. That's near where my family from in in Magra felt in Northern Ireland. You just said that's where my family from. That's where my family from.

Apparently not that liar. He had me. Yeah. He emigrated eight minutes ago. My family from. Apparently not that live. He's a liar. He emigrated eight minutes ago. My family from there. My family from there. Yeah. So you're a guy who's in Northern Ireland,

but we're in the Republic here, but we'll pull that against you. Let me ask you something. Henry, what kind of tour guide are you? Are you pretty serious or do you keep it light? Well, I learned everything I did from tourgating from yourself. Oh, no. I have bad news to you, Henry.

I am not a tour guide. Yeah. This is a new meaning to me. I'm trying to forget. Yeah. You see, you see, like, you have people coming on every night for maybe 30 minutes or so to talk to. I have a captive audience for about eight hours a day.

And I get to talk and tell all of my own jokes. And then at the end of the day, when they've given me a positive view, I give them back their luggage and they're free to go. That's a good tip. I used to do that with my audiences at the late night show. I used to confiscate all their phones and wallets before the show. And if they didn't laugh, they didn't get them back. So you would love this. You would love tourgiding with him. I think I would. I think that would be. How do you think I'd be as a Donnie Gaul tour guide?

For real, you'd be the best because it's all a bit ad-libbing and improvisation and everything. You know you're the king of that. So that's nice of you to say. I don't know but and but I'll tell you this nothing humbles me more than the times I've been to Ireland because I think I'm a pretty funny person and then I'll get into a taxi cab and The driver's much funnier than I am. It just it just runs in the water there. So that's a compliment We don't pick ourselves too seriously here. That's the main thing. Everybody likes to, you know, you don't be too high on a pedestal before we take it down. Oh, no, I know. I know. It's on the same. Yeah. That's funny. That is exactly how my brothers and sisters operate and my family, it's always, you can't start to think you're something because they'll take you right down. Absolutely. That's the thing,

like, you know, you're self-deprecating humor. That's like myself and so many other people, I've kind of, amulated your kind of sense of humor and that's nice. You know, maybe it hasn't done us too well. I don't know what to do with me. Oh, hey, wait, Henry, are you saying that I've ruined Ireland?

That is my way. Well, I just know that I'm a churrigaid. That's what I'm saying. My problem, Henry, is if I were a tour guide, and I went along with you, I'm quite certain I wouldn't take the time to learn anything I'd make it up. And it would just be a bunch of lies. It would be as you people say, shite. Here, don't give away our trade secrets because that is a lot. But you know, yeah, you see that the key is you get them out of the car before the relays.

And the worst thing to have is Google because once people start googling and find out the truth, and you're in trouble. But yeah, it's a lot of making it up as you go along. Yeah, I meant to go this road, even though it's a dead end. That's the way you do. Just make it up on the fly. Henry, tell me a little bit about your life. You married, or in a relationship, what's happening? Yeah, I've been married to Leanne, my lovely wife, therefore since 2009, I've got three

lovely kids who are all sleeping there suddenly right now at the minute. Harrison, Dreda and John, and the best kids you can ask for, they're lovely. Thankfully, they're all been sent to bed with duct tape over their mouth for the recording. That's a strange custom you have right. And it had nothing to do with you interviewing here. Did it? It's just what you do every night. It's just one day. It's like a tape.

It's just one day. It's like a tape. It's like a tape. Yeah, so, and your wife, is she supportive of your humor? She is a very long-suffering wife because, as you know, the whole night, every day, when I'm not working, it's all about bets and doing jokes, having jokes, and just making fun all the time. And the poor woman has nowhere else to go.

Well, guess what? I think your wife should talk to my wife. Because, I'd say that Liza, God bless her. She's sticking with me, and she's a wonderful mother and a great wife, but there are times where I'm doing my bits, my stick, running my mouth in the kitchen about nonsense. And she says, you've got to take this outside.

You've got to go outside and do this with a squirrel because I can't take this anymore. Well, when I first met my wife there, the first thing I said to her, a few things I said to her, she was going to pick me up, or sorry, we're going to go for a date. She said, what time could you pick me up?

And I said, well, I can't drive. Couldn't drive, I can't ride back then. She's like, you can't drive. And I said, you'd be surprised by the amount of things that I can't do. So, I was just going to lie. But Henry, here's what I love about that. You've got to be honest up front.

You need to tell her that there are a lot of people who would think, well, I'll lie. I'll bluff my way through this. I'll say I can't drive tonight because I had my eyes dilated by the optometrist. You'll have to do it tonight and then quickly go and figure out a way to get a license on the side. But no, you put it out there.

You put the truth out there. And that's what I did with my wife. I decided on our first date that I was gonna just be as foolish as I could possibly be. And if she made it through that night, then I'd be okay. And she let me. Oh, that's a risk.

But then I met someone else who became my wife. I did it. Exactly, yeah. Yeah, no, it's our full destroyer. Best thing you do is honestly upfront, no BS at all. That's the best way to do it. And that's the way I run my tours. I just like to tell everybody as it is.

And back to that again, when I came back after a good futures and I threw the money down the table and my wife said, I gotta can't believe we found the shop that you're good at. Do you tell your passengers that you still don't have a license? Here, they're gone before the inflamed out. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they're just, you're riding, you're driving the double decker bus to the countryside.

And you say, by the way, I don't have a license. Well, it's, you sound, I mean, I first of all, I'd take a tour from you any day. You seem like it'd be a terrific tour guide. Well, I want to say, um, yourself, Sona and Matt, you're more, I'd be a pleasure to tour your own Donnie Goll. Next time you come to Ireland, I expect you to come here and I will drive you around. Well, I have a couple of quick questions. Uh, what are you going to show me?

That's the coolest thing you're going to show me on this tour. Well, probably you'll want to see Schlieb Lee Cliffs, which are the highest accessible sea cliffs in Europe. They're here in Donniegall. You'll want to go up to the most gnarly point, Malin Head, where they filmed Star Wars episode 7. Wait a minute, what are they filming about? Yes, this is mine. What are they filmed there? Star Wars episodes eight. Sorry. Eight. So this is like when Luke and Ray are kind of getting to know each other. Exactly.

So yeah, the planet act to believe it's all you're right. You know, when they got that point. Yeah. That's okay. Well, I'll just continue on if you don't mind. So, and what's the name of this place? Malin Head. Oh, Malin Head was my nickname in high school.

So that's why I'd like, I thought for a second, someone who knew me in high school named a point after me. Hey, Malinhead, get over here. Wow, that's incredible. Did you get to hang around the set while they were shooting the Star Wars installment? No, you don't want me anywhere near somewhere.

This should be professional at all. Oh, I got it. Wow, Henry, you and I have a lot in common. I'm banned from most movie sets throughout the world. And theaters. Well, that's for a different reason. Okay. That was considered, that was considered a perversion.

That's a little different. Come on. I was wearing a raincoat. No, don't go with it. No, we're good. We got it. Used to be a good raincoat. Anyway.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Cool. Cool. And can I ask you a quick question? Yes. Is it about the raincoat? Yes. Because it can stand up minutes.

No, no, no, no. Again, my mother will be watching this, okay? Okay. Go ahead. Sorry. Sorry about that. I'll clean it up, Henry, apologize. Yeah. No, listen to it. So you are your self-deprecating humor.

You always run yourself down. And that's the way I would have always run my kind of, as I say, comedy to nobody, you know, when I'm being popular. Sure. Yeah. How do you then go from running your self-down to then trying to have a serious conversations. Say you had a plumber

in your house who was doing a bad job and you had to try and explain to him, I want a done a second way, but he knows you've been like wearing a dress or a dress as a code the night before that. Right, right. Oh, do you have time to, well, whenever a plumber comes, I am in a dress, just to try and, you know, catch his interest. But I will say, it's a whole different shooting a little movie there. No, with the ring code. Yeah. No, Henry, it's a good question. I am very bad at confrontation.

So I'm not very good at telling people, you know, it's interesting and this is true. I'm being serious with you. For just a moment, I'll be candid. I am not very good at telling someone who's doing some work for me that I would prefer it done a different way, or someone cooking for me or anything like that. I'm not good at that and I'll probably hold my tongue and let them ruin my sink or my disposal or my bathtub, whatever they're working on, where I am able to tell people my mind is in comedy.

So there I feel, I don't know what it is, but I'm very able to say, nope, nope, it needs to be slower, and then this needs to speed up, and then this has to happen. But that's the one area of my life where I'm very comfortable speaking my mind, and my writers will attest that that's true. So, um, yeah, I always felt like, you know, when you're making fun of yourself, other people then like to jump on and pay on you and use your own jokes against you, yeah, they're on you don't have them more. Sometimes like, yeah, yeah. And then I just, uh, you know, it's funny because sometimes when you're doing self-deprecating humor, other people pick up on it. And so they don't even know you that well, but they walk up to you and say, uh, hey, you're a piece of shit, right? Isn't that funny? I don't think that's related. Well, then why did you say it? Well, because you're a

piece of shit. Okay. Uh, but anyway, I know, I know what you mean, Henry, but for the most part, people understand where you're coming from, which is, I do have some self-worth, so not a lot, but I do have some. And the humor just, it's just, I didn't choose that sense of humor, that's just who I was. And that may come from being so Irish. I do think it is something that we do, not all Irish people, some are very happy to be blowhards, but it was very much in my blood to have fun at my own expense.

And sometimes that's just as a defense mechanism against the tall poppies. I wanna make fun of myself before anybody else cuts me down. So there's many psychological reasons that It all goes back to Ireland. Yes. Yes. Well, you know, it's nice to hear that you feel it as well because, you know, it's something that, you know, I know we don't have the same type of audience when I'm talking to my friends and the Paul Berserle got. But it is the same. You know, I'm telling you, it is the same.

I don't think about it as being a big audience or when all those years I did my show or this podcast, I don't think of in terms of a large scale of people listening. I never have thought about it that way. I try to make people laugh the way I do one-on-one if I were in a pub. It's the same. It's exactly the same. There just happens to be a microphone here and some cameras and there's a bunch of people that listen to it, but it is really no different. Scale doesn't change it. It doesn't

change it at all. It really, if you and I hung out in a pub, you'd find me just as annoying a person as I am on a podcast. I promise you that. Well, I'd love to find out for myself to see how annoying you are because I think I out to know you any day. I think Wow. Okay. It's on. Hey, man, Henry, it's on. It is on. And I'm going to win.

Very good. I'm going to win. Henry, a real delight talking to you. You seem like a very nice, funny guy. You have a great spirit. And I'm very happy that you, you've found your niche. You found what you love to do, and you've got this great family.

Yeah, thank you very much. I just before I go, I just wanna say, once again, to yourself and to everybody on late night, I know you've done so many things, but online, now you're on YouTube and everything, everybody can find a community very easily. And away back in the 90s, sometimes you felt like you're on your own. Yeah.

For there's a whole generation of us who discovered, like, there are people with the same comedy tests and the same kind of felt like they're in the fringes of society. Yeah. And I just want to say thank you very much for all the years. Well, Henry, that means a lot to me that you said that and you're funny. And a pre-internet era, it was fun to like this little fire on a loan, what felt like a lonely hill and then find out later that other people were watching it and

digging it. So I just said digging it and I'm not old enough to say that long, quite old. So Henry, thank you so much. I hope our paths cross someday and just great to meet you. Really, real pleasure. Oh, that has been my all my pleasure. Thank you so much for the opportunity. And I look forward to see you all in Donnie Gall when you come over for a tour, okay? Okay. Yeah, a stream of bullshit from you.

Yeah. Thank you. Thank you very much, guys. Thank you. Bye. Conan O'Brien needs a fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Sessian, and Matt Gourley, produced by me, Matt Gourley, executive produced by Adam Sacks, Nick Liao,

and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Your Wolf, incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Supervising producer Aaron Blair, associate talent producer Jennifer Samples, Associate Producer's Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm. Engineering by Eduardo Perez, please rate, review, and subscribe

to Conan O'Brien, needs a friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. This has been a Teen Coco production in association with EWOF.