Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Yope

Episode Date: September 21, 2023

Conan speaks to Gualter from Portugal about working as a tailor and what kind of suit he would make for Conan. Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? Submit here: TeamCoco.com/CallConan

I'm going to talk to Conan. Visit teamcoCo.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started. Hi, Walter. Welcome to Conan. O'Brien needs a fan. Hi, Walter. Oh my god, this is happening.

Yes, it is happening. I hope that's a good thing. How are you, Walter? Good God. That is an impressive beard. You have there, sir. Thank you. Good, sir. Thank you. I'm very proud of it. It's a little bit short. Then it used to be, but a married guy has to look a little bit better. Yeah, let me say something to you. It's, that's an evil beard. You have an evil beard. Doesn't it look a little evil? Yeah. It's a thinker beard. It's like when I'm working, like, that's right. Maybe it's kind of a solution. Yes. How do I defeat God? How do I destroy mankind? Flash it's Gordon. You'll get it. Yeah. It's flashed. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Being the merciless.

Anyway, you look fantastic and tell us where are you? Where are you calling us from? I am from the country's Portugal. So I had a village that I'm leaving is Villa Duca on it's near Porto. Porto, okay, so big city. Okay. Are you near the water then? Yes, okay, like I'm gonna say in kilometers because I can't I don't see I don't know how to see it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Oh, I refuse to go metric. Walter, if you even say, how many miles feet or inches are you from the ocean?

Let's talk about time. Time is it's common. It's very good. Walter, you should work for the UN. You should be an ambassador. You just defused a very tense situation and I congratulate you. I usually the diplomat. Yeah, you have to be. Guelter, I have a quick question about Portugal, which is that during, during times of unrest, recent unrest and unhappiness here in the United States, there were many Americans who were saying I might like to have citizenship someplace else. And the thing I kept hearing was Portugal because I kept hearing that Portugal, aside from being a really beautiful, fantastic country with lovely people, had this policy that you could, if you bought property there, you automatically got citizenship and it became kind of this thing that everybody was talking about. And then I heard

that it's not true. Do you know the story? I don't know, like, the details, the political details, but oh my God, the next Portuguese to hear this, maybe it's gonna search for me and kill me, but if you have money, you are welcome in Portugal. So it's more like, yeah. Okay, all right. More or less like that. We are not the riches of the country's in sense of having power to buy stuff, right?

So most of the things are very shipped for the outside there. So yeah, but that's what I heard. But I thought, but then I heard that Portugal was getting flooded with all these Americans saying, I want in, I want in, and that they started to say, and they actually started to spend some time with these Americans. That's the key. And they said, we might, we might dial this back a little bit. So I might have missed my window. No, I have a lot of good stories.

My mother-in-law has a winery in Doral. No, it's like one of the main regions for wine, red wine. She also has wine. And she gets a lot of the tourists that stay there for nights or weeks. And I had the opportunity to meet a lot of Americans. Was it amazing for me? Because I may have like a misconception of the Americans in general.

But I met wonderful people. And that's good. The thing was like, oh, your country is small, but has so much things like in a sense of weather, like mountains, flat. Yes, I've always never been to Portugal, but I hear it stunning. I hear it's absolutely. You should. But you have to come, don't please, don't be the normal guy and go to Lisbon, come to Porto, that's the most beautiful part of what I'm talking about. I look like a guy who would go to Lisbon.

No. Do I look, just this face say, I'm on my way to Lisbon? I don't think so, Walter. Yeah. You go to where the wine is. You know what? I go where the wine is and then I immediately

marry a woman whose mother has a winery. And by the way, Walter, good move. Yeah. Is Porto where they make port wine? Yes. I've recently grown to love port wine. Yeah, you're one of the few port drunks I know. Are you not kidding? You're not kidding.

By the way, they're a port beef. I have tawny port. Oh my god. Oh my god. So good. Yeah. It's such a specific hangover. Yeah. It's like you had too much liquorice. It's a dessert wine and I typically drink loads of it before dinner. Oh, before I like to get started early. Yeah. And he also has a very tense

home life. But we'll talk about that later. Guelter, that's not for now. Tell us what you do. Well, I have the two sides of a job. I work as a tailor on Saturdays as a like old school tailor doing most of it by hand and doing all the measurements just for one suit for that specific person and my Monday to Friday I work also in text talent fashion, but I do digital products. Now I'm developing it, but it's like, like in one, I work in a Natalie A, like a small workshop.

And in the other one, I'm like a fabric in one person just using a computer. So it's interesting you have one foot in the old traditional craft world, but your other foot is in the future. I think that's very wise. Tell me what kind of suit you would make for me. What would you do? Well, I had like the first time I got the wonderful news that I would have this opportunity. I had like a meeting with my master, my master is the man that has been teaching me the old ways. Yeah. And he would recommend, because I know the colors and the type of it, but he would say like, the type of fabric should be a sea sucker because that's how I think there is like an American

tradition that you want to hear. Yes, your sucker suit. Yes, once a year. Yes, Searsucker suit. Yes, and you were it in summer. My master told told me those things I didn't know it's for the summer, but I don't I think it's it's something that you should pick But my only guess I will give you some color. Yes, and you know what color works for me I'm just gonna tell you right now blue. I like a rich blue because you know what? I have gorgeous beautiful blue eyes. Women look into my eyes and they get lost. I know that.

Yeah, I know that. Usually not related to me. They're just having some sort of a medical event. But you have a lot of blue. Why don't you do like purple? I like that. Joker. I will say green.

Green. Green would work on you too. Okay. Maybe green. All right. Listen, I will do You know about my measurements Leprechaun. Yeah, sort of not a leprechaun suit. We're not gonna go down that route because I would need to fight We need to fight those stereotypes. Okay. I'm sick of that. Go leprechaun. Yeah. Well, you'd be a tall leprechaun So you're fighting no, no, no, I've already it's bad enough that I walk around with a chalaley

I probably should And say things like, you want to get my gold, no one gets me gold. Those are the things that I do that don't help. But I think adding a green suit to that would be a mistake. Would you like my measurements, Walter? Are you all set? Oh my god, let's. I'm not fucking around.

We're doing this. Let's go, let's do it, let's do this. Okay, here we go. Are you ready? Are you ready for, hidey's set the 6.7. Oh my god, there we go. Are you ready? Are you ready for, uh, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I sleeve, left sleeve bicep bicep. I don't have biceps. Rist, waist, hips, front jacket length, a cross shoulder back, side neck to shoulder, inseam, crotch. Negative two. Five, me. I mean, where is like the simple measurements?

No, they need that for a bespoke suit. Don't you? Don't you need all that stuff? You know. All right, I'm gonna go fast and then you can, you don't have to write this down. I'm just gonna go really fast. Next 17, full chest, 43.5, right sleeve, 35, left sleeve, 35, bicep.

No, I lost it. No, no, don't worry. It's you're gonna watch the recording later on. That was my point. Okay, okay, okay. Remember, this is all being and then you're gonna get your whole family around and you're gonna watch the recording later on. That was my point. Okay, okay, okay. Remember, this is all being, and then you're gonna, you're gonna get your whole family around,

and you're gonna listen to this with the rest of Portugal. Jesus. This is gonna be a national event. Jesus. You just reading numbers. This is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is Hips 41 front jacket like 33 hips 41. See biscuit see biscuit hips 41 I'm back 18 side next to shoulder seven within seam coming up fast. Here comes crotch It's crotch in seam crotch in seam crotch on the lead

It's got five here to me around the bend at 16.5 Faye is down. They just shot thigh Thief and put out of its misery and crotch across the finish line That's the money, boy. Oh my god. Did you get it? You don't have to make me a suit and I yeah, it would be a pleasure Well, I'd be funny to take you at your measurements Portuguese way. Yeah, well, the Portuguese way. What's the Portuguese way? Sentimentus for. I know not in

it. I thought it was like different way of groping or something. No, what they do is they give you, they dip you into a tank of port. And then they see how much I pour in how much port you displace. And then they build the suit. Now, it's, it's, it's, it's a really nice, it's a really nice, it's like the first time you have, like, you're, usually when, uh, when we do the suits, the first time is the talk, like talking about fabrics, what is the ceremony, what is the situation, if we are single or it's going to be with somebody else.

And it's, it's a really nice, in your case And it's it's really nice. In your case, it's like you are very familiar for everyone in the world. So wouldn't be that like intimate in the same, but usually it's like one of the most intimate things that a man being with another man do. Usually, usually, you're saying that you measuring me would be one of the most intimate things that two men do together. Is that, you're saying that you measuring me would be one of the most intimate things that two men do together. Is that what you're saying? Usually when you go to a hotel at an old school one, it's like, like, happy and traditional ways, being together in the same place. I'm not very traditional though, but what you're saying is I would

be, what be wearing, you know, box or briefs, but that's about it, and you would be taking very... And a shirt? And a shirt? No, I'm not. No shirt. No shirt. No, please, he's saying you need to wear a shirt. No, he's saying. No, he's not. But anyway, I'm gonna be wearing pretty much a thong.

Oh. And it's just gonna be the two of us. Well, what's a problem? Is that an image you don't like? Are you gonna be oiled up and stuff, too? Well, I think oil doesn't hurt. It does, doesn't? Does not help clop.

No. Well, he's not putting the clop. I mean, he's just taking simple measurements and that helps the measuring tape slide across the skin. Kind of like a whip. Hey, what's happening? I just blacked out. What happened?

No. We somehow, it's happening? I just blacked out what happened We somehow it's our way that you could just be could you be canceled? Could you be whipping me with oh The measuring tape and I should be restrained I think I should be restrained in some way So that the measurements are precise and any end you even want to suit? Oh, I didn't even think of this as hard as this. Okay, I've just made it. Who's making a suit? I'm just curious. Is someone making a suit?

No. Now, why is there a ball in my mouth? Oh, my God. Oh, that's to get the jaw, the distance from top jaw to bottom jaw. Right. Yeah. That's right. I'm starting to do the tomato.

And why are we doing this in the basement? Oh, I'm going to move it. Later on, I never got that suit, but God, that Walter and I had a good time. Walter, I understand that you have a bone to pick with us. You and your friends in Portugal feel that we made a mistake on the show. I think it was during my, I'm told that we made a mistake. I know. During an interview,

we took Steve Morgan. Okay, it was during, what was our mistake during my interview with Tracy Morgan we made a mistake. I'm not. During an interview. I was facing Morgan. Okay. What was our mistake during my interview with Tracy Morgan other than it probably made no sense. No, he was amazing. Yeah. One of my favorites, not my favorite, but the one of my favorites. And well, do you remember the perfume?

Yes. The brand of the perfume. He wears a very strong cologne. And I asked him what it was. And he said it's called jupe and he Then sent me a bottle of jupe I Put it on I wore it home my wife jumped through the window and ran away hasn't been seen since but it is strong stuff

What's the problem with jupe? So now I'm working in a development center but before I was working on a Swiss German company, yeah that one. I remember seeing it on Instagram. Yeah, we have it here at all times because apparently it's also very good at dissolving concrete. I had conversations. Yeah. So it's not Jou, it's yup. What? How you say it? Yup.

Well, how would you know that? Because I work in the company and the company has three brands. One of H's is yup. You work for this company? You wait, wait a minute. You have worked for the company that manufactures jup, and you're saying that Tracy Morgan and I

are mispronouncing this and it's Yope. Yes. How do we get it? We got to get in touch with Tracy Morgan and tell him he's mispronouncing it. Yeah. Because I'm sure this will be, this could ruin his career. Big news. I'm sure it'll change.

No, but it's made the day of the brand manager. I used to work with the brand manager closely. He was super excited that Hugh Conan and everyone there was entraceous. He also was talking about Joupe, even though it was Joupe. Was he upset that we mispronounced it? No, I'm not upset at all.

It made the week of, of, it's mid hour week. That's for sure. Everyone was talking about it. I want to apologize, and I apologize not just for myself, but in fairness, I did not know of this brand until Tracy Morgan introduced it to me. And he said, jupe, jupe with a very strong J and a very strong P. Joupe and his whole expression changes when he says it Joupe and now we know that it's Joupe and my apologies to everyone and I

Considered just reversing it and calling it poooge What poooge? Why just got a ring to it. No, yeah, what's poooge? Why? Just got a ring to it. No. What's Pooge? Pooge. No, Pooge sounds not good. Pooge sounds good. Like I say it, it sounds good. Pooge. No, it's Pooge. No, it's Pooge. No, it's Yelp. What does Yelp mean? What does that even mean? Yeah, what does it mean? Yeah, it's used to be a name of a big designer in Germany. So Wolfgang Yop. Oh, Wolfgang Yop.

Oh, Wolfgang. Yes, we know Wolfgang Yop. Yeah. I call him Wolfie Jupp. I call him Wolfie Pooj. Yeah, so there you go. I wish you would have led with this and we'd all been on the same page.

Yeah. He works just down the street. I think the Jupp one would be more nice for the Germans. So they would say like, Jupp, before Jupp, those Germans would say whatever they want, there's no stopping them. I've just put some on my wrist and I can't stop smelling it. It's I'm very much now attracted to myself. Of course. Walter, you, I wish you all good things and all happiness.

Someone told me that you have a child on the way, is that right? Yes. And sharing, hearing a lot of sonas things about the boys, and being really helping because it's a boy. And me and my wife, we are super excited because it's gonna be like a winter baby. Oh, that's exciting. That's cool. And tell me, what is when little yope shows up? Oh, no, no, no, yope.

Oh, what have you picked a name? Pooge. Yes. Yes. Fausto. What's it? Fausto. Fausto. Fausto. Fausto. Fausto. Fausto. I love that. Fausto. How do you spell it? In metric. F. A-F-A-U-S-T-O. Fausto. I would, you say Fausto. We would say Fausto. It's a mysterious guy. I love that. Is he named after Fausto? Yeah.

And you do have an evil beard? Yeah. No, you will probably have, do you know that I'm half a ginger? I'm not, I'm not like, you're not half a ginger. You're not half a ginger. You, you, you you you look like BL's above and you're saying oh on half a ginger that's the darkest beard I've ever seen in my life yeah you look like you just you just dipped your beard in chute black chute polish and you're saying

your half a ginger it's so funny because when you funny because when you first came on I thought, oh it's Ron Howard. Hi Ron. So you are, which half is ginger? It's clearly the half I can't see. No, but it's brown and I have a lot of ginger one. I see. When the sunlight strikes, it's way more ginger. Cool. But I tell you it's very proud of it. Good, you should be. You should be.

Well, don't hope that kid is ginger. There's a lot of beatings and torment in the early days. And then it all turns around. Wait, no, it doesn't. I'm excited for you. I think this is very exciting. Fausto, what a great name. Fausto. Well, listen, I think this is very exciting. Fausto, what a great name. Fausto.

Yeah, that's great. Well, listen, I think we've decided one day you'll make me a suit. We'll figure it out. And we have now cleared up the whole jupe controversy. It's Yope. Yope. And you've just, I thought my name was cool. I have always thought, oh, Conan, that's kind of a cool name.

Nope. Fausto. Yeah. If I had been Fausto, I really could have gone places. Yeah. So, Guelter, thank you so much. And all of our, our love and good cheer to the good people of Portugal. Tell them I'm going to buy a tiny, tiny, tiny apartment there just so I can have citizenship and then walk around North of Portugal. North of Portugal. It's going to be in Porto. Portugal is where I'm going to get a very, very, very small apartment and I'm going to

walk around and everyone's going to wish that I would go back to America. That's what's going to happen after that. You are more than welcome to come in dinner with us and probably at the time maybe Faust will be here and you can tell all of the great stories. Yes. And you'll see what a real ginger looks like. And he'll be very happy that he's not a ginger. But it's open to feel free of you guys.

Hey, I love you too. Hey, Walter, thank you. This was really nice getting to know you. Amazing for me also. Thank you so much. I love the opportunity. You're all amazing guys. Thank you for everything.

Bye-bye. Thank you, Walter. Take care. Bye-bye. Thank you so much. I love the opportunity. You're on a meeting, guys. Thank you for everything. Bye-bye. Thank you, Walter. Take care. Bye-bye. Thank you. Bye. Conan O'Brien needs a fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Sessian, and Matt Gourley, produced by me, Matt Gourley, executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Leal, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Ear Wolf, Incidental Music by Jimmy Vivino. Supervising producer Aaron Blair, Associate Talent Producer Jennifer Samples,

Associate Producer Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm. Engineering by Eduardo Perez, please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien, needs a friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Ewol. you