Congratulations with Chris D'Elia - 140. Stark Raving Mad

Episode Date: October 3, 2019

On today's show, Chris talks Keith Morrison's great voice, The Truth About Pam, Atlantic City, Army of the Dead, people from New Jersey being so New Jersey, business wars, and Jodi Arias Tweet your questions and spread the love using the hashtag #congratulationspod on Twitter and everywhere else, and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app. For the true babies: Merchandise: https://store.chrisdelia.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chrisdelia/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/chrisdelia Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chrisdeliaofficial/ YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/2rA0sI0 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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That's BetterHelp.com. meeting with friends before the show we can book your reservation and when you get to the main event skip to the good bit using the card member entrance let's go seize the night that's the powerful backing of american express visit amex.ca slash y amex benefits vary by card other conditions apply What's up, you guys? How's it going? It's Chris D'Elia here live at the Congratulations Studio. And we've got some dates. We've got a plug here.

We've got October 12th've got a plug here uh we've got october 12th santa barbara coming up and riverside california and san diego california october 18th and october 19th we've got about three or four shows there uh san diego can't get enough of the delia we got foxwoods connecticut uh bethlehem penn Pennsylvania, for some reason, two shows. Rochester, New York, Royal Oak, Michigan, Detroit, Michigan. We've got two shows over there. New Buffalo, Michigan, a lot of places in Michigan for some reason. Minneapolis, Minnesota, November 9th, two shows. Filming is special for Netflix, Crystalia.

Then we have some shows in Tampa, Florida in November. And Melbourne, Florida, for some November. And Melbourne, Florida for some reason. Hollywood, Florida, even though there's a Hollywood, California. They decided to name it Hollywood, California as well. El Paso, Texas for some reason. Houston and then Chicago, Illinois just added another date. New Year's Eve. Overwhelming demand.

That's 13,000 tickets. D'Elia sold in Chicago. Should have played in Arena. Didn't know it was going to be that bonkers when he went on sale. But it's all good. Get your tickets now. CrystalLid.com. www.CrystalLid.com.

But anyway, dude. Yeah, dude, I'm back, I'm back, and it's fucking ripping, I'm back from Atlantic City, and, uh, so it's quick um i'm back from atlantic city i shot some of army of the dead in atlantic city i couldn't wait to get out of albuquerque and get to atlantic city couldn't believe i was saying i can't wait to get to atlantic city got to atlantic city atlantic city and was super depressed because atlantic city's super depressed all. Stayed at a hotel that lost their gaming license. So there's no casino in the hotel that we were staying in. So I'm done with that. I'm done with Army of the Dead.

I got one more day I have to do in Albuquerque. So it's all good. Going to dry my nose out real good and plenty when I get there. Going to get there and then my fucking lips just go like this, and break, and bleed, and all good. And when you go to the bathroom, literally, it's very painful. So it's all good. So I got back from Atlantic City.

Atlantic City is crazy, man. I'm doing a zombie movie, okay? So I'm dealing with like a bunch of zombies when I'm on'm on on set just going for some reason that's the zombie noise for all of the zombie shows and uh for walking dead you know i i shit you not dude i i walk outside on the boardwalk in atlantic city and i see this homeless guy and for real he's going like this. And I was like, oh, zombies in real life. But, yeah, dude, it's crazy about Atlantic City and how it's a thing. Rooms are like $50 a night.

So, yeah, but it was cool to be in Atlantic City for an extended period of time, I guess. I mean, I've only played like the Borgata and Harrah's, and I go the day of, and I leave the next day. Because why would I stay in Atlantic City? But, dude, when you're in the Borgata, and when you're in the, like there's a hotel called Ocean. There's a few hotels. When you go in, you might as well be in Vegas, dude. Except for the people look like trees. They're just not as good looking as the people in Vegas.

Now, Vegas has the troglodytes. Now, make no mistake. If there are slot machines around, there's troglodytes around. Now, if you were my opener, you'd say, what's a troglodyte? Well, a troglodyte is somebody who's a troll. It's basically a troll that lives under a fucking bridge or something like that. Anyway, it's a dumb cocksucker word. You know what I mean? Troglodyte, like just make it shorter.

Call it a trog or a troll. But they don't. The English language likes to get fucking jiggy with it, so they're gonna get jiggy with it, dude. I'm wearing my future so bright way too bright shirt because future's way too bright got me with the fucking shades on over here and you can see the back if you were behind me but you can't right

now it's all good um not going to show it to you because i'm fucking don't want to and that's respect dude that's fucking straight up respect me not doing what i wanted me doing exactly what i want to do for you guys you're welcome anyway dude i am back and i was in every uh friday i went i went to new york city because it was uh because i didn't want to be in uh atlantic city for like two days off because i would have fucking you know it's crazy weird to be like on a casino casino but also near the beach essa jersey and uh seagulls even the seagulls are like what the fuck is going on around here why are there casinos squawk and so uh you see them if you look close to their face they're like So you see them.

If you look close to their face, they're like, squawk. Why are there troglodytes? Squawk. Squawk. This was ours a little while ago. Squawk. Dude, squawk. So I went to New York City.

Man, every time you go to New York, you see the most New York shit. It's unreal. It's just unreal. I was in New York, and I saw two dudes fucking straight up fighting with each other, arguing, like not physically fighting. But it was like the next step was one of the guys the guys has to like duck because the other guy's gonna punch and they were arguing each with to each other about arguing with each other about uh whose team was better uh jersey it's in new york they were talking about the giants and the jets it's like youets. He's like, fuck your team. You ain't shit.

Your team ain't fucking shit, but like for real angry. And they were like, you fucking piece of shit. You ain't shit. He was like, you ain't shit. Your team ain't shit, and you ain't shit. And the other guy was like, motherfucker, I'm gangster. And he was like, you ain't gangster. You ain't shit without your boys.

Like that's what was going on. And they kept on like walking away, but then walking close to each other now this was the most new york shit not yet but this was the most new york shit they were doing that to each other and i shit you not dude they were actually for real angry with each other but they were also fucking dapping each other and high-fiving each other. Your friends are not. I'm not bullshitting you, dude. They were like, you ain't shit without your boys. You ain't gangster. I am gangster, motherfucker.

I'll kill you, motherfucker. And they were like, hell, motherfucker. Fuck y'all, bitch-ass motherfucker. But I respect that. But fuck you. They literally said they respect that. But we're doing that. And they were yelling at the top of their lungs. Everybody was watching.

And they were going to fucking shoot each other that and they were yelling at the top of their lungs lungs everybody was watching and they were gonna fucking shoot each other but they were dapping why were they doing it don't know but that's the new york way in a new york minute oh everything can change in the new york minute my mom when i was younger would do fucking would say new york minute and but she would do it not Ooh, everything can change in the New York minute. My mom, when I was younger, would say New York minute, but she would do it not the singing way. She would be like, hey, in a New York minute, in a New York minute. And it would always make me mad because a New York minute is 60 seconds,

and that's how much a regular minute is. But she thought she was crafty and cool and poetic. Now that's what she does, and it's all good, my babies. Moms are dramatic. If your mom ain't dramatic, guess what? She's your dad. Because moms are dramatic. As women get older, and especially if they pop kids out, when they become a mom, they get dramatic. When my mom saw Columbine, she dropped, when she saw Columbine on the news, she dropped her notebook.

Who the fuck drops stuff in real life? For real? Who for real goes uh and then drop something who are you kaiser soze at the end she dropped her notebook on my foot i go ow mom what the fuck and she says oh shut the fuck up dude Dude. She said, shut the fuck up, you know? My mom. Oh, shut the fuck up.

Chris. So, yeah. So, in a fucking New York minute, she dropped the notebook on my fucking foot. And it's all good. Now, can I get the cowlick down in the back of my head? No. And it's all good. Does it piss me off?

Yeah. Is it going to change shit? No. Does it matter? Do I need to look good? No, it's all good. Does it piss me off? Yeah. Is it going to change shit? No. It doesn't matter. Do I need to look good? No, it doesn't matter. But so anyway, I did. She dropped the notebook.

And that was when I came up with the thing where I was like, wow, dude, moms are dramatic. But dads aren't, you know? Dads aren't. That's just fucking laugh it off. i don't know man they get maybe my my dad's sentimental as fuck too though my dad'll like at that like if it's just and that's probably why i'm sentimental man like when i see shit like involving like a kid and a and a dad if it's i don't give a shit if it it's a, it could be a fucking Travago commercial. I'm crying immediately.

If he was like, I go to Travago to get all my hotel deals because when I'm staying with my son, and I'm just, fuck it. That guy from Travago,

the commercial, that guy's handsome, you know? For sure he's got no kids because he just stays fucking. The Travago guys are the when i went out i want to when i get older i want to be the travago guy no i don't want to actually work for travago but i want to fucking be that like that guy's so so handsome it's hilarious if you have all even gray hair you're the shit unless it's white then you don't

look good and that's the rules and i don't make the fucking rules dude the rules are the rules and i figure them out um anyway um but that's yeah so i saw that new york thing and it was fucking insane and i was in atlantic city and uh i when i was in atl and when I was in Atlantic City I was with my buddy Garrett Dillahunt and dude we were like let's go out for the day fuck it we got we wrapped the day it was like 10am

woke up at fucking dark 30 and we wrapped at 10am and then we went to the fucking factory stores dude have you ever been to a factory store a factory outlet bro they had Adidas, Reebok, Nike. Garrett likes a fucking Pro Bass fishing shop, whatever the, whatever.

So we went there. Of course he does, dude. My buddy Garrett gets those fucking hats that wrap all the way around. The brim is all the way around and it's not a cowboy hat. If you have a hat, by the way, cowboy hats,

get out of here. If you're a real cowboy, fine. But if you're just like some chick that's filling herself on Instagram, take it off. And if you're a dude, like this guy, my buddy, he gets – I mean, dude, how annoying is it having the fucking thing over your face? What are you, a fucking member of the Wu-Tang Clan? Fisherman? And – yo, yo, what up? It's Fisherman.

So he's got the – if you have a brim the brim stops here dude it stops here you have a little plank that's it you have a fucking plank it's a ball cap if you have the brim that goes all the way around you better fucking put some chips on it and some guacamole on the top and take it off and start dipping dude now that's a fucking grand slam and i didn't even mean to but those shits just come out i would love to see a guy in a hat like that for real like a fly what what the fuck kind of hats are those anyway bucket hats or whatever not a bucket hat but i mean bucket hat too i would love one day when i'm fucking 70 i want to get to the point where i just do shit like this where i see a guy wearing that hat and i walk in i get a bag of chips and i get some guacamole and i start putting the guacamole on the top of his fucking head and he says yo what

the fuck are you doing and i said oh dude i'm sorry oh my god my bad i'm sorry you're wearing one of those hats and he says well why the fuck you put in guacamole on it and i say well because the only the only reason some a shape like that would exist would be if you put dip in the middle of it and chips around the brim. And then I'm ready to fight. And if I lose, I lose. But you fight for a reason. Dude, I'm Jon Snow in this motherfucker. If I see a brim that wraps all the way around and I'm 70, I'm getting chips and guacamole and I'm Jon Snow because I'm fighting for a reason, dude.

These are the real shits. And the guy beats, I don't care if he's big. I got to get to the point where I don't give a fuck. Where I truly don't give a fuck. Anyway, we went to the factory stores and uh we were like whoa dude it's got reebok it's got nike it's got fucking adidas remember when you were in high school and the kid would call it adidas because he thought he was fucking german you know and he was like that's how they say it you're like dude shut

the fuck up that's not how they say adidas dude no it dude. No, it's Adidas. You know that, right? And you know it's an acronym for all day I dream about sex. Did you know that? That's why they did that? No, no, that's not true. So, the outlet factory stores, dude, we went into the outlet factory stores and we went into all of them and dude,

I wanted to ask the clerk how did you do it? And when they say what do you mean? And I say well you successfully created a time machine. And when they say why are you saying it? I say because all of these clothes can't

exist now. They have to exist in 2004. Here's the other thing. Why did you only go back to 2004? Since you've created... I should have walked in and I should have said, how's Napoleon?

And they say, what? And I say, well, certainly you went back. You went back to other ages, right? And they say, what do you mean? Well, you see, the thing is everything in here, you just stole from 2004. Everything was fucking neon green and gray. Dude, if you're wearing neon green and gray, you're in 2004. And you love Smash Mouth. Oh, man. It was unbelievable.

Every store. Dude, literally so depressing. Just a box. That's what the store was. A box. no character to the fucking store at all fine and then just stuff thrown on the on the on the things pink shoes like pink and blue shoes that like nobody would buy i can't believe factory stores. There was gas. There was like Polo Ralph Lauren. It was unbelievable.

I was stark raving mad. Every time I walk in, I go, oh, come on. Don't have a fucking factory store, dude. I don't know. People weren't even getting stuff i would say like maybe it's for a certain type of person but nobody was in there only me oh come on i'm stark raven mad about this so um anyway dude it was unbelievable now is there a place called the sugar factory that's in the hard rock hotel yes did i go yes did i get ice cream yes was it good yes then did i get ice cream at another place because i would

try and test out all the different ice creams in atl? Yes. Was it as good? No. Was it closer? Yes. So did I go again? Yes. Should I have gone to the sugar factory because I had better ice cream? Yes. Did I not? No. Because of laziness?

Yes. There's nothing more fucking piggy than going and getting the worst ice cream because it's closer. Go. Go. Take a few extra steps, you fucking nimrod. But I wouldn't.

So I went to go get the fucking I went to the sugar factory and that ice cream was banging, dude. If you go to the Hard Rock in Atlantic City, that's just banging. But if you go to the fucking if you go to the Hard Rock, if you go to the... Oh, I got the the hardware if you go to the if oh i got don't get food there though i got food there and it's it's so it's so gross i mean don't get i got the salmon don't get the salmon at a place called the sugar factory literally someone was like oh

shit which some guy came up to me he said oh shit what you doing here i was like what do you mean he was like are you an actor or some shit i was like well yeah i guess sure yeah yeah and he was like what y'all doing here i was like oh we're doing a movie and he was like oh shit and i already ordered the the ice cream and the the lady behind the counter goes like this here you go and gives me the ice cream and i said cool what do i owe And she says, you're shooting a movie here? And I said, yeah. And she said, just take it. Don't even deserve the perks. You don't know me. Took a fucking regular dude's word for it.

Just some guy with his chick. What are you doing here? You shooting a movie? Yeah, just take it it sad in a way you know wow dude um atlantic city is fucking hilarious just straight up zero good looking people um i don't know so jersey though like crazy incredibly jersey went to uh went to oh let me do these ads and then i'll do it um there we go then i'll talk more about how jersey atlantic city is i went to uh new jersey or i went to atlantic city and it's so it's s jersey I went to New Jersey. I went to Atlantic City.

And it's so, it's S-Jersey. We went to a place called White House Subs. By the way, I went to White House Subs and there's a few White House Subs and it was just silly.

Like, I mentioned it around a local which was annoying because I was talking to Garrett, my buddy, Dylan Hunt.

And I was like, we got to go to this place called White House Subs. Apparently, it's really good. My agent told me about it. And the guy who overhe Hunt, and I was like, we've got to go to this place called White House Subs. Apparently, it's really good. My agent told me about it. And the guy who overheard us was like, yeah, but you've got to go to the original. Now, we know, if you know anything about me, my anger is arising. Because it doesn't matter about the original, dude.

It doesn't matter. I said, oh, why? Is it better food there? And he said, nah, but the atmosphere. And I go, hmm. And then Garrett, of course, because he's a real person, is like, well, you know, let's go to the original. I was like, all right, we'll go to the original. So we drove.

He drove. And the whole time he was like, I got to get gas. And I was like, you're fine. It was like one-fourth, and he was like, yeah, we got to find a gas. I was like, you're fine, dude. forth and he was like, yeah, we're going to find a cast. I was like, you're fine, dude. We got there. As soon as we walked in, it was Garrett says, man, there's a lot of Jersey faces in here, huh? And there was. Everybody was talking about Frank. Do you know what I mean?

That's not what Frank said. I heard that 14 times while I was eating a fucking sub. That's not what Frank said. That's not what Carmine said. Heard it 14 times. And I get there, and the lady's like, you know what you want? And I was like, no, you got menus? And she was like, sure.

She put down menus, and then there's a half order and a full order at white house subs and i was like i'm gonna get the turkey you know how i do it i fucking get the turkey and the cheese if i'm at a sub place i get a turkey and a cheese shits because i want to rock it i don't get the fucking you know other shit i don't mix meats too much an italian sub is nice let's not fuck around an italian sub is nice as fuck but the turkey and cheese i mean i would roll down a fucking uh what do you call it ralph's when i used to have a fucking when i used to live in my apartment i'd roll down a russ i'd walk down there and just go get meat and cheese dude and they'd be like hey how's it going regular and i'd say fuck yeah meat and cheese and i'd roll back and i'd surprise my ex-girlfriend and i'd be like, hey, how's it going? Regular? And I'd say, fuck yeah, meat and cheese.

And I'd roll back and I'd surprise my ex-girlfriend. And I'd be like, I got meat and cheese because that's how we said it. Meat and cheese because we thought we were cute. When we broke up, we both cried. But meat and cheese lives on, dude. So now I get meat and cheese. Meat and cheese lives on, dude. So now I get meat and cheese. Anyway. I mean, in the About Us section for White House subs, there's a fucking photo of the two guys who found it. And one of the guys is chomping on a stogie. Eh, sir, Jersey.

Hey, you want to take it? The White House sub shop was opened in October 1946 by Anthony Basile, along with his Aunt Basilia and Uncle Fritz Sacco. Eh, sir, Jersey. Fritz. You know? Fucking Fritz, dude. Uncle Fritz Sacco.

S-A-C-C-O. Fritz isn't a name. Fritz is like something that you're on if you're going through a breakup. Dude, Fritz is a noise that a fucking cable, like a broken cable would make. Fritz, Fritz, Fritz, Fritz. That's your name, dude? It's Jersey. So,

in 1946, our parents were committed to bringing you the best sandwich made with the choicest meat. With the choicest, choicest, choicest,

choicest, Jesus Christ, choicest meats. Anytime you say meats, that's so Jersey and Italian. What meats you want? Today, we, their children, are committed to maintaining that same tradition of excellence created by our parents. Sincerely, the Basile and Sacco Connelly families and the White House gang. Basile along with Aunt Basilia.

Ah, so confusing. Basile and Basilia. Most Italian lawyers of all time. Come on down to Basile and Basilia. So we went there and I heard fucking, that's not what Frank said so much. So there's the large portion and the half portion. And I said, yeah, let me get the turkey and the cheese. She's like, you want the peppers?

And I was like, it's a jersey. Okay. And she was like, do you want the full or the half? And I said, full. And she looked at me and she was like, full is really big. And I said, how big? And she said, full is like that big. said how big she said full is like that big she goes like this she goes like this okay i mean and then half is that big and i was like oh she's

just doing it too much because she thinks she thinks your boy can't unhinge his jaw you know i mean maybe i'm a boa constrictor you put a fucking sub in front of me. You put anything. I don't stop. I stop eating when there's no more. What's this shit when people are like, ah, that's enough for me. Boom. That's up. Portions, dude. Uh-uh. How much did you make?

So I said, get me the largest. All right. So they brought the large dude what is that oh no oh it's water um so they brought the large and uh is that going to be annoying on the thing? Okay. So they brought the large and it was, you know, like if you go to a subway, it's like a subway. If you get the large, it's two halves. Dude, it was

four. Four. And and it was unbelievable. And I was like, oh no. And I fucking didn't stop eating. I ate the whole thing.

It's gross, so gross, and I ate the whole thing, and Garrett didn't because he's a real person. Hold on. Is that water? What is that? Is that the air here yeah oh it is okay uh you can go turn it off if you want it's fine all right fuck it this is real life dude you get it and this is real life um oh man did you guys see the fucking thing did you guys see the fucking thing? Did you guys see the fucking thing about the girl falling, the mom falling on the scooter?

Oh, my God, dude. We've got to watch this. I put it on Twitter. Twitter. Twitter. Congratulations. I'm on Twitter. Oh, man.

I don't know my thing. I never know my passwords. It's all good. The freaks come out at night. The freaks come out at night. Okay, I don't have it. What are you laughing at? Me?

What'd I do? I can never find my fucking password. And I get so fucking mad. I can't find my password.. And I get so fucking mad. I can't find my password. Dude, when this chick falls, there's no sound. So I'll just fucking put it on the video podcast. Dude, this mom who looks like my fucking friends that were twins moms when we were fucking in high school tries to do the bird scooter. And dude, it's like like here's the deal man

if you have kids and they're teenagers don't get on a bird scooter she fucking crunches her body so hard she falls so much wobbling you know and like the dude it's so funny when people fall because they're like oh i got it you know they're like nah but i'm me though that's what people think when they're falling but i'm not you know what i mean're like, nah, but I'm me, though. That's what people think when they're falling. But I'm not, you know what I mean? They're like, yeah, but I'm me. I'll figure it out. I'm not one of these fucking, and then before you know it, boom, dude.

Her whole skeleton crunches in a busy intersection. Practice on the fucking sidewalk, by the way. Don't practice next to an actual Harley. Also, she's shaped like a pear. Be athletic if you're... Oh! Dude, she hurt herself so bad. I feel bad.

Anyway, the reason I bring it up is because the Deservet scale is just off the charts with that one, dude. The Deservet scale is off the fucking charts with that. I mean, she falls hard as fuck. Should I do these other ads

yet or no? Ah, so it doesn't give a fuck. Yeah, you know, Juan Fargo. Sure. I don't know, man. I've been... Dude, I've been listening to podcasts because I just download them. I listen to the fucking Business Wars, WCW versus the WWF shit.

Vince McMahon was a lunatic. Dude, he became aW versus the WWF shit. Vince McMahon was a lunatic. Dude, he became a heel in the WWF. He became a character. It's kind of genius. Like he was using these fighters and they would go back and forth from the WCW to the WWF. The WWF, Vince McMahon owned the WWF. And they would go back to the WCW with Ted Turner owned it. And he put it on TBS.

And it was like a real struggle for both of them to beat each other out. And they kept the actors, the wrestlers kept flip-flopping, going to the WCW, who would pay better. You know, the contract would be up. And Vince McMahon finally got like a rap as a bad guy and he was like, fuck it, I'll just be a wrestler. Dude, and he would go out in the ring and like argue with the wrestlers and became a character in it. And that's how they beat out the WCW. And then he hired the guy from the WCW. Dude, it's so fucking.

I ain't got no motherfucking plan. That's why I fucked your bitch. It's unbelievable, dude. You got to listen to the business wars. And then this other podcast i listened to which was absolutely fucking insane you know keith morrison from fucking dateline dude the the the fucking thing is called There's Something About Pam. Oh, I'm sorry. The Thing About Pam.

And I swear I just listened to it because of the guy's voice. The first three episodes were banging. I was like, wait a second. And then I realized it was maybe just the guy's voice. Because Keith Morrison. Dude, the way he does it. First of all, how's his face his face? It's so long. It looks like Clint Eastwood is looking in a funhouse mirror.

I mean, his fucking face is a large lima bean. Keith lima bean Morrison. Dude, it's so funny. Dude, I was listening to this. First of all, the first episode I was listening to in Atlantic City as I was going to bed, I got so creeped out that I had to stop listening to it because I got scared. Am I a pussy? Yes.

Is it all good? Yes. And Keith Morrison, dude, he's this guy. Another suspect. One close to the case. And Keith Morrison, dude, he's this guy. Obviously, you know. The thing about Pam is brought to you by Dateline NBC. From Dateline NBC, Kathy Singer and Christine Fillmore. All right, but the thing about Pam, you know, love. By the way, fucked Pam. That's how he's saying it. I know more about Pam. You know? Love. By the way, fucked Pam.

That's how he's saying it. I know more about Pam. I know more about Pam than any of you know about Pam. I mean, sings it. Here, hold on. Just listen. I don't know who's better, the guy from Forensic Files or this guy

for real. ...on about 5 p.m. Then he ran errands for the next hour, filled up his tank, picked up cigarettes, dog food, couple of iced teas. He got to Mike's house for game night about 6 p.m. Let me just show you that. Left at 9. I'll show you the huh part. Stopped at Arby's and drove 30 or so more minutes to get home.

Clocking his arrival at 9.40, 9.45. Okay. It's all good. According to official at 9.40, 9.45. Okay, it's all good. According to official records, Russ made that 911 call at approximately 9.40 that night. Okay, he's just going through the... Oh, got a little bit dark with it. 9.30 that night. No. Dory, check out. But you could

tell that something wasn't sitting right. Us detectives. So into it! Russ made that 911 call at approximately 9.40 that night. So into it. Right. But you could tell... Oh. But you could tell that something wasn't sitting right with detectives. So good.

But you could tell something wasn't sitting right with detective. Dude, I got to find a good... Uniforms, CSI, detectives. I mean, there was one part where I took a screenshot of it. Let me go get it because it was so funny the way he said, he says, Pam. Oh, here it is. Pam. It, here it is. Pam. It's episode three.

At five. This is the shit I do. What an idiot, you know? I was like, I've got to fucking... The way he says... The way he says Pam. This guy, you can hear, he gets so mad he punches the air and by all the evidence he meant really everything to do with pam

and by all the evidence he meant everything to do with Pam. Wow, I love all that. I gotta play that again. And by all the evidence he meant really everything to do with Pam.

It's fucking three letters! The guy goes, Pam. Oh, the balls on Keith Morrison. See, that's the thing, dude. God, he's good. And of course, there were things about Pam

that we didn't know about. But when we figured it out, we learned that there was more than meets the eye. With all these inconsistencies, Joel decided to look for other possible holes in the prosecution's case. Like that polygraph test. God, I want to hang with this guy. I mean, imagine just chilling with the dude. Just like going to fucking get some food. Careful, there's a yellow light.

It might turn red before you cross the line. You'd just be like, that's so fucking interesting. Ow! The airbag bursted out. You might want to watch out. There's a sharp part. There's a sharp metal slab coming out where it used to be the door.

Oh. He caught himself. My favorite is when he gets real chilled and like comfy with it. Of course, that's what Pam would have said.

Pam. Oh, fuck. well of course that's what Pam would have said Pam oh fuck I love that guy's voice I don't know if it's him or the other forensic file guys that's this shit how's the forensic file guy go again there was oh yeah yeah that's how it is

let me just play a little of it. It makes me laugh so hard. There was, of course... This guy's good name is The Voice, right? Forensic Files. The Voice. The Voice. Voice guy.

I mean, you know. Oh, the behind the scenes, really? Forensic Files has always differed from other true crime TV shows. Tick Files has a film noir vibe. Once an episode is edited, it's sent to the Los Angeles-based Music Collective. It's a very different thing as soon as you... Alright, bro. The music really drives

the emotion. Yeah, alright. We know. Here's the guy. Here's the voice. Hello again. It's so time. My time in the Army and then I got into radio in 55. But here you are on the CBS morning show in New york and it

was you were doing the plan and that was let him talk and you'd see the engineer there just before we start put that diamond cutter on the disc and they would give you the cue and i remember the orchestra would go first tick tock tick tock that's the Hamilton Watch Company, and then music, and I would come on and say, the passage of time is beyond our control, but it passes beautifully when a Hamilton marks the hour. Then the girl would sing, was it a dream, was it a dream? The passage of time. Oh, this is a tribute.

You ain't shit if you don't have a tribute. Peter Thomas was born in Pensacola, Florida on June 28th, 1924. I mean, imagine like, you know, if you don't have a tribute on YouTube, you ain't shit. There's a tribute for everyone. I swear to God, there's a fucking tribute for my maid that comes.

It'll be like fucking 24. The son of a Welsh minister and a language teacher he learned from them how to communicate probably so nervous because he was doing the tribute to the fucking guy who was the shit Peter Thomas his voice is good too

project and enunciate every night growing up Peter read stories aloud to his family that's bullshit which perfected his technique. That didn't happen, dude. His father's philosophy? Words must be visualized, understood, and felt before spoken.

Oh, imagine thinking that. Imagine thinking that. What a cock you'd be. Succinal choline. What a cock you'd be. Soccinal calling. There were trace amounts of soccinal calling. Words must be visualized, understood and felt before spoken. Pam. Words must be visualized, understood and felt before spoken um but yeah it's so crazy though

the lady i fucking want to talk about that way too long but there was a lady um that was um there was a lady that uh this guy got uh wrongly accused of killing his wife. Imagine fucking you, your wife gets killed and then you get thrown in jail and you didn't do it. Are you kidding me, dude? There would,

nothing would be worse than that. Like, well, of course nothing would be worse than that. But like to add insult to injury, I don't understand how these people like stay on in the courtroom and they're just like silent, dude. I'd be like, hey, you fucking asshole. I didn't do it.

Why is he asking that question? And they'd be like, contempt, contempt, hostile witness, hostile, whatever the fuck I am, person on trial. I'd be like, dude, I didn't fucking do it, asshole. I didn't do it. And they'd be like, well, this is what I see. This is his shit. He goes crazy. See, this is like, no, I didn't fucking do it, asshole. I didn't do it. And they'd be like, well, this is what, see, this is his shit. He goes crazy. See, this is like, no, you don't understand, man. There's a fucking real killer out there that's getting away with it.

I didn't do it. I loved her. Fucking case is open, dude. Go find it. I'd be in jail so quick. Let me tell you right now. My wife died. I'd be in jail so quick because I would show so much anger.

I'd be like, you're not fucking doing it right, dude. The cops would show up and they'd be like, okay, and so where were you? I was right here, dude. All right? I wasn't here, obviously, when she got killed. And then now I'm here. So what's up, dude? And they'd be like, whoa, whoa, Mr. D'Elia.

Whoa. Did you guys ever fight? And I'd be like like of fucking course we did we're fucking married to each other and they'd be like dude okay we're gonna have to take you in and i'd be like me i didn't fucking do it get the real bad guy out there cop. I'd be in jail immediately. And they make a podcast about me called The Thing About Chris. The thing about Chris is

he got so mad when the police officers showed up because he thought the cops weren't doing their job. Well, naturally, Chris got a little frustrated and he swung at the cop, and the cop, who was very well trained, ducked, and then put Chris's arm behind his back, put the handcuffs, and then Chris went to jail for the rest of his life. Screamed every day.

screamed every day that's the thing dude you could kill my wife and I would get blamed for it no doubt there's no fucking doubt I wouldn't get blamed for it and I'll never do that I would never kill my wife I would never kill my wife anyway I haven't done a podcast in fucking about a month because i have i've had to fucking try to do this shit the movie i mean you you babies have bared with me man you babies have bared with me

and you kept it you kept it you helped me keep it real man because i i had to do episodes early i did like two in a row once and then three and and then I would record one on Monday and then one on Wednesday. And then I finally fucking figured out that I could get away with not doing one until today, which is late. And thank you, my babies. But I know you guys are waiting for it. But it was tough, man, getting through this shit, getting through this movie and still doing this podcast.

But I still brought it to you guys because you guys are great and you support me and also, naturally, bags. Naturally, income. Naturally, bags. Could you, you know what I was thinking about? Could you have, could you you know what i was thinking about could you have said could you if if some if there was a killer if you knew i think a guy i think guys could have sex with a girl who killed somebody way easier than a girlhood like a girl girls are always talking about like this shit where they're

like oh it's so hot serial killers are so hot like you're fucking full of shit dude you are full of shit that's some shit that girls are just like oh my god so hot but then like when they knew a guy would like be a little bit creepy they'd be like oh like nah dude put your money where your mouth is and and and and and and fucking let the fucking serial killers burber in your mouth is and and and and and fucking let the fucking serial killers burber in your mouth you know i mean don't this is real life dude don't get out there and start talking all crazy shit like you want to fix up an old car unless you're ready to go buy the fucking frame you understand these chicks will be like serial killers are so hot and then some dude will like pop up around her like over her shoulder and they're

like whoa you scared me that's not cool and you're like what you said you like serial killers all i did was fucking pop up fuck that dude i would fuck a serial killer woman in a heartbeat if she was that girl jody arias or whatever the fuck. Isn't that that hot one? Are you kidding me? Jodi Arias killed her husband? I mean, I... You know, I understand it's like bullshit because it's horrible. But you got to get it in a little bit. It doesn't mean you should stop yourself from having some fun.

She'll still get locked up, dude. Jodi Arias was slamming dude but she killed so people are like yeah she was kind of hot huh doesn't make it hotter that she's a killer no i'm not into that shit i don't get that shit i don't let stuff cloud my judgment hot is hot i don't give a shit if she like works on old cars. Some guy's like, ah, it's cool. She's got a fucking business.

It turns me on because she's got business. Nah, you're being sexist in the reverse way, bro. I got a buddy like that that's like, ah, it's cool. She's got a real job. A lot of these girls in LA, they don't have a... Shut up, dude. Get in where you fit in, dude. Jodi Arias? Yeah, hell yeah, man. I would date her. I would where you fit in, dude. Jodi Arias?

Yeah, hell yeah, man. I would date her. I would just always be on the lookout. You know? I would date Jodi Arias. I'd also turn her in because it's not cool to kill someone, but I would be like, baby, I got to turn you in. And she'd be like, what the fuck?

Why? We're slamming. We're fucking, you know, we do the horizontal mambo. I'd be like, baby, you killed someone. And I know it. And she'd be like, but don't you like the way I fucking make you Berber? And I'd be like, sweetheart, you killed someone. Sure, I like Berber, but it's over.

Thanks for the Berbers. And that was when Chris ended his relationship with Jodi Arias. She killed her ex. What is this shit? Postmates? Yes, all mine. Yes, all mine. I got some fucking, what do you call it?

Wells Fargo's hit me up. Did you buy this? Did you do that? Did you do that? Fraudulent shit. I did it all though. Thanks for checking, babies. It's kind of annoying.

What, you don't think it's annoying when they do that shit? It's like, did you really buy this coffee somewhere? Bro, stop being so creepy, Wells Fargo. Hey, did you really buy that? Did you really buy a bench for your house? Yeah. What fucking criminal is going to buy a bench, you know? Ah, we got Chris's credit card numbers.

Let's buy a fucking $900 bench. Huh? Hey, dude, let me tell you something. If you're a criminal and you buy a $900 bench, have it, you know? One time I started dating this chick when I was in my high school, and her ex-boyfriend hated it. And he fucking... And he couldn't...

I don't know. He just couldn't fucking do it. He was like... He couldn't deal with it. And he broke into my car when it was in the driveway when I went to sleep. And they just took a gas card and went and bought stuff in the gas station. So my life's hard. La Cañada, you you know so fucking funny and whatever i stole this i stole this girl you know i guess i didn't i didn't actually steal it

but she dumped him and then liked me because fucking you know. I was like, well, baby, you want to hang out? And she was like, sure. I meant that one. I meant that one. I was like, baby, you want to hang out? She was like, sure. Berber. Baby, you want to hang out? Sure. Your buddy, your ex stole my gas card. I guess that means...

Okay, I don't know. Just have it early. Who gives a shit? I guess I'm going to wrap this up, dude. It was hard to come back, dude. It really was hard to come back because I haven't done a podcast in one month and it's all good my babies but i appreciate you guys sticking it with me and all that shit

um download the cash app for free on the app store or google play market and uh i've got some shows coming up um i told you guys about them already but but San Diego and Foxwoods, Connecticut, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, Rochester, New York, Santa Barbara,

New Buffalo, Michigan, and Detroit. You can download my app there. Support the show by buying merch at store.christalia.com. You get this one, Futures Too Bright shirt. Let me turn around so you can see it.

It's fucking cool. Actually. Right there. So that rips. Um, and, uh, that's it.

Uh, subscribe to the YouTube channel, please. It helps. And then, uh, you could, uh, tweet me by using the handle congratspod or whatever, but I don't give a shit if you do that. And Wampire writes on here. He thinks it's a good idea, but I don't give a shit. And then that's it.

You's coming out soon, the show I'm on. And that's it. You guys are great. Okay, guys. Thanks for listening. Bye.