Congratulations with Chris D'Elia - 176. The Trillest Gangster

Episode Date: June 12, 2020

Today we talk movie titles, a racist lady video, Kevin Spacey, Italians feeding you, and and the trillest gangster. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Look for new value programs when you shop at Loblaws, in-store and online. Conditions may apply. See in-store for details. Whether it's the weekend, the beginning of summer, or the end of the school year, Celebration Cookies. Celebrate good times. Celebrate good times. it's lit it's officially fucking lit dude um so i was i was sick a little bit on this it's thursday i don't think i've ever recorded a podcast on thursday uh night because i always said i would do it monday and if i couldn't do it Monday, I said I'd do it Tuesday. And if I couldn't do it Tuesday, I said I'd always do it Wednesday. And I never thought I'd have to be like, if I couldn't do it Wednesday, I'll do it Thursday.

But lo and behold, felt a little bit shitty Wednesday. Felt even more shittier Tuesday. Felt kind of the same shitty on Wednesday. And then Thursday, your boys on them end ah yes so I also was nerve nervous because of the whole COVID shit that was going on so I went to get tested by co by the COVID police and fucking don't have it dude got tested twice yes got the same doctor to come by that fucking went by joe rogan's to do it podcast buddies did it um and he came by fucking tested my whole family nobody's

got it fuck yeah dude nobody's got covid but you know i mean nobody that well some people have covid covid but um anyway i hope you guys are doing okay and i hope you're not contracting covid but if you did i hope you guys are getting better um like fucking what is it two million people in usa have it now so that's i love how trump's just trying to act like it's gone we're better we're better folks and then it's just literally another million people just fucking coughing it up. Dude, I want to start off this podcast with a bang, dude, with a straight up bang. All right. I just saw this video of this lady approaching this man and he's and I think he's in a car.

I haven't seen this whole video yet but this girl goes from fucking mach 4 i'd say to mach 11 immediately okay i mean it's the the she takes it so she goes so hard in the paint she goes from chilling like ready do you know doing the conor mcgranger arm arm swingy thing just like okay i'm ready i'm ready you know i know this is silly but and i know it's a fight but i know it's silly but it's all gonna be just being silly right now to just a fucking rear naked choke mach 11 i'm just gonna play it until she goes to mach 11 and i'm telling you right now this is the first fucking preemptive ugh you're ever going to get.

So I'm just going to say ugh to get it out of the way. And then you'll know when it happens. That's how fucking hardcore that this is, okay? I cannot fucking believe this. Great. Did you just make a racist comment? You know what?

I am not a racist person. You just made a racist comment. You need to go home am not a racist person. You just made a racist comment. You need to go home. I am from here. Look it. Go home. I am here from here. Go home. I don't care about your Facebook or your video. Oh, okay.

Do you know how many people can't stand you being here? You play games. We don't play games. Oh, what kind of game are you playing? I play games where you get fucked to death. Ah! I kidnapped myself. Whoa, dude! A Mach 11! Oh!

Just a fucking looks like a nice sweet lady that would, like, give you pie, but instead say, I play games where you can go get fucked to death. Ah! Dude! Oh! Oh! I mean, my God, dude. Racist comment? Dude. dude oh i mean my god dude racist comment dude is she from is this a joke or is she from torrance dude this is unbelievable i guess no they're saying she's a karen she's karen but my god i i rex chapman tweeted this so that's where you can find that but jesus christ

dude it already has 1.2 million i mean the the fucking tsunami that look what she's wearing dude wow every single thing she has on is worse than the other thing it's unbelievable she has a fucking i hate fisherman's hats dude even if i was fishing if i was a fisherman i would never wear a fishing hat they look so fucking like janky and lopsidedy and shit and then a thing over her neck for her covid protection obviously but not using it and then uh i don't even know what a muumuu is i never knew what a muumuu was but she's wearing that probably and then fucking blue camouflage shorts camo's green or tan or gray if you're in the, you know, a James Bond movie in the fucking ice. But, dude, blue.

Well, she could be swimming. Well, they are. It is a bathing suit. I play a game where you can get fucked to death. Never. I mean, just get fucked to death. I'm going to keep I'm going to play. I haven't heard the rest of this what kind of game are you playing i play games where you get fucked to death oh okay well great games where you get fucked not one game there's multiple games and she plays those games i play games

where you get fucked to death dude if she said that to me in my car window i would immediately go like this sign me up and i would hold that note until she did something that's absolutely fucking amazing wow you know what the thing is if you're gonna be racist go all the way don't be the person like, you know what I'm talking? You know what she is? She's fucking hardcore old school traveling on a boat racist. You know what I'm talking about? Like back in the fucking 14, no, the 1700s, where like, you know, now it's about microaggressions and shit. And people are like, did you just, are you, did you just, does that mean what I, that's the most of the racism that you see in pockets of the world now? Besides, obviously, I know the fucking real hard truth.

besides obviously i know the fucking real hard truth but like the the usually you and your buddies notice the shit where you're like did that person just is that what the person did this person mean that she couldn't admit that but the i'm talking now there's those kinds of racist moments i get it i know that there's harder racist moments but just fucking live in this comedy bit for a little bit all right but this lady is like oh hey fuck all that subtle shit she's doing the shit that guys did in the 1700s where it was just like if you the the white dudes thought if you weren't racist you were you were the dumb one you know you'd just be out at sea and be like well we won't allow blacks on the boat and and and everyone was like and just keep sailing that's the hurt well we can play games and the kind of games we play was where you get fucked to death some fucking pasty white

fat fuck that's gonna die at 42 patting his fucking forehead with a with a hanky you know that that dude well the thing is hey man that guy those guys were real guys those guys fucking sucked just wearing all tan always all tan no zero colors oh my it's such a hot day isn't it you're bro you're wearing so much clothes boy the day is the day is long the day is as long as the blazing arms you know the days oh so many fucking analogies and what do you call them metaphors the night is blazes the night is a day blazes you can get fucked to death is the day is long that's the racist she is dude okay well i want to watch the rest of it though wow i Wow. I haven't seen this yet.

Oh, okay. Well, great. Let me take your card. Let me touch your number plate, too. Oh, oh, oh. Dude, my, if you don't know this already, my favorite fucking thing is when someone is so rip-roaring mad in their heart when they can't help themselves and they're so rip-roaring mad in their heart and their default is being as nice as they possibly can

because there's levels of mad you know there's the kind of mad where like your friend pinches you and it's too hard and he didn't know how hard it was. And you're like, ah, you fucking asshole. Don't do that shit. And then there's the level of, wow, that motherfucker crossed me. I'm going to go yell at that motherfucker. But then there's the kind of mad where you can't believe what the fuck is happening. And you're just like, oh, huh.

Okay. Well, let me hold the door open for you yeah no life's great for you isn't it there's that no everyone just holds the door open for you doesn't it that's how mad she is only she's in the wrong probably i don't know the beginning of the video but it sounds like she's being racist but she's being so nice dude but besides the thing she's saying her demeanor i mean i'm calling just made a racist comment i can't afford this you are gonna go to real jail now But besides the thing she's saying, her demeanor, I mean. She says, you're going to go to real jail now. What?

Doesn't need to say the word real. Also. Oh, got some races there. Hold on. You are. I think you're going. oh got some races there hold on hold on you are I think you're going oh so racist

wow blows my mind three times she says you understand me China man unbelievable dude this is a minute into the video she's like fuck it Three times she says, you understand me, China man? Unbelievable, dude. This is a minute into the video. She's like, fuck it.

It's all over Facebook. I don't care. Respect people. Lady. I don't understand your language, China man. Respect lady. Respect? Then you move your car. You're way too close.

Get away from me. There you go. You don't even know how to park the car. And she's parked like an asshole. Do you know who my family is? Do you know who your family is? Go home to your family. This is from your government.

Respect, lady. Go home. Get educated and respect. This is from my government. Go home. Get educated and respect. She says, this is from my government. You go home

and you get fucked. So not from the government. Also, I don't know, maybe Trump would actually tweet that, you know? And people would be like, well, well,

well, well. Oh, what a piece of shit this lady is. Get it? Get it? Respect, lady. Did you finish college? Did you finish college? Did you finish college? Did you college did you finish college did you

you know what did you you are nothing you're nothing exactly you're nothing right there this woman is in her 50s or 60s here's the worst part about it she's not even doing a good job of roasting the guy. If you're going to be fucking like... Get educated and respect. Little boyfriend. What a supreme fucking asshole. Oh, fuck, dude. Imagine you were married to someone and they just did that. I mean, you'd have to divorce them your life would be a fucking living hell first of all she's she probably didn't i guess

she didn't have a job my thought if you do that you're gonna get fired that's it that's it you're gonna get fired because you can't i don't even it's, even though I know people are racist like that, it's so hard for me to understand that people actually think like that and would talk like that. Like there's a level of shit that happens sometimes where it's like, I know it's true, but I still don't feel that it's true because I don't operate that way. I mean, this woman is't 60 maybe and she's going china man like to the guy on fucking real this piece of shit this is the shit that the the the the bad trump made this woman feel like she was right you know wow wow it's so hard not to be political by the way i i try harder and harder each episode i don't even what this lady's doing is obviously piece of shit whether you're if you're if you think what that lady's doing is not a piece of

shit i i i you're not a real person to me that's unbelievable so let's just not this is not about politics i know i said trump once or twice in there but jesus christ man that is just that is just insane are you meant to for being that way uh i i uh i uh I saw how, oh man, Trump's thing with the Bible was fucking hysterical. I mean, did he really hold the Bible upside down? I have no fucking idea. I know people were saying that, but that's something that fucking lefts, the leftists would say and be like, well, you know, he fucking, he fucking held it upside down too. And they're like latch onto the wrong thing to be mad about, which is what they fucking wish, what the left always does. Yeah, but he walking his tweets, dude. All right. You know?

All right. The, the, the things that the left latches on to and says are the problems are not the problem the things that cnn reports about that are the problems are usually not the fucking actual problems and then it makes the right be like they're fucking idiots they're complaining about the dumb shit and then the right gets stronger and the left i don't want to fucking talk about i say i'm not political i don't want to talk about this that. I say I'm not political. I don't want to talk about this. But anyway, Trump did the fucking Bible thing and went to go take the picture. And dude, he did it. I'm. I think I saw this online somewhere where somebody was like he he went out from the White House to take this photo in the midst of protesters the day after he was in the bunker

and people were roasting him on twitter about being in the bunker and you know that the reason that he did that was because everyone was roasting him about being in the bunker so he was like i'll show him and went and walked into the midst of the protesters with the cops tear gassing everybody to take the picture in front of the church to show that he's not scared that is just how humans work if you're acting like a baby now uh best, the funniest fucking thing to me was like the symbolism of him wanting to build a wall. And the fact that he got to, but it was around the White House. So nobody would fucking drag him out is unbelievable, dude. Like he wanted to build a wall. That was what he ran on. Nobody would fucking drag him out is unbelievable, dude.

Like he wanted to build a wall. That was what he ran on. And a lot of people thought it was ridiculous. And then he got to build a wall just with so many more less cubic fucking feet in it. Just imagine just a little fence around him just like this finally built my wall dude that's so fucking funny that's would make me feel like such a bitch dude um anyway so i guess the other option is voting for Biden, who, man, you know, this whole world is just so fucked. I mean, Biden can't remember what he is saying at the moment.

So that's your memory. Are you ever like, what did I eat for lunch? He is forgetting shit that he didn't even say yet. You know what I'm talking about? So that's also fucking horrible. I just need fucking, I don't know. Who could be a president? I have fucking no idea, dude.

Let's get off this fucking political shit. But I saw this couple on The Bachelor. I don't watch The Bachelor. I got hooked and roped into watching it. I don't watch The Bachelor. I got hooked into, roped into watching it. I don't watch that show because why the fuck would I ever watch people competing for love? Like you don't compete for love ever. I've never, unless you're 12 or 15 and you're trying to compete with another 14, 15 year old.

15 year old like once i grew up if i'm ever going for a girl if i was ever going for a girl and my buddy was like bro i'm going for that girl i go like this this is always what i've been go ahead go ahead what the fuck do i care have a fun time do the horizontal mambo with her marry her take care i don't give a fuck i'm not gonna try i'm not getting in front of friend or not even friend or not if i was at a fucking bar or a club which i don't normally go to but if i was and another guy was into a girl and I knew, and I didn't know the guy and I thought the girl was hot and then he's hitting on her. I go, all right, I'm not, I don't, I'm not into this shit. She likes me or she likes you. I'm not involved with this bullshit though.

So I don't even care when there's not cameras on it. Putting cameras on some shit that I don't give a fuck about makes me even more not give a fuck about it. Because then you're sitting down to watch it and ready to fucking, you know, it's a whole event. So The Bachelor to me blows fucking donkey dicks. Okay? I would never watch it. Now, reality TV is a weird fucking thing. Because literally, like, only girls like it.

And gay guys. But, like, no dude. And ironic or not dude i don't when some guys get together like yeah we have a bachelor bachelorette night and it's funny bro you're boring and you're dorky dude get a real personality don't pretend you like the bachelorette and watch it you know wherever you're going you better believe american express will be right there with you heading for adventure we'll help you breeze through security meeting friends a world away you can use your travel credit squeezing every drop out of the last day how about a 4 p.m late checkout just need a nice place to settle in enjoy your room upgrade wherever you go we'll go together that's the powerful backing of american

express visit amex.ca slash ymx benefits vary by card terms apply so uh so i i got roped into watching this uh and you know my girl's like, oh, you gotta, you know, just watch it. And I, it was like a fucking two hour recap. It was like a, it's like a thing on, I don't know, Hulu or some shit. It's like a two hour quick version of the season and catching up where they are now and shit. So I watched a little bit of it and I saw this couple sean low and katherine low okay and they're so goddamn actually adorable that it's made me be like well what the goddamn fuck man because they're so like she's so cute and so sweet and he is so exactly the kind of guy that i would want to like be around and hang it hang out with i mean there's one weird thing about him was i think he was like saving he was like a born-again

virgin because he wanted to save himself from marriage. He didn't want to have sex with the person until they married because he used to be a player or something. And then he gave up that lifestyle because he thought, I'll never get a girl if I keep living this way, which is crazy. I always think that's crazy when guys say that. Like, you know what I'm going to do? I'm actually going to put sex on a back burner. I'm going to treat a girl like a real person. real person and then dude then you lead yourself into a place where you're like oh i really like this chick i think i really like this chick and then you have sex

with her and then god forbid it's like you're having sex with fucking dry toast and you're and even worse sometimes she's not even the problem you're the problem with her you're like oh fuck i'm the problem here i don't know how to fucking do it with her. And then you love the girl, but the sex is bad. And you're like, you know what? I think I still make it work. You get down on one knee. And then after that, you have kids. And then it sucks.

And the shit is all like, you know, ho-hum. Because the sex was never that good. I thought that sex wasn't the most important thing in a relationship. And it's so one of the most important things in a relationship man and guess what dude your boy bangs it out and i've got my own moves i don't do it like how they do it how they show it on tv and shit i saw one fucking show the other day a movie the other day it was it's called anna it's with that guy who's in all those british movies and this girl who used to be a model and now she's an actress who's so hot, by the way. Sasha Luce.

And they fuck each other and it's like, what are they doing? Dude, she clears the table and then he throws her on the table with her clothes on and then her clothes are still on. So he like takes her off the table and he rips her clothes off and it's like, relax, dude. You'll get there dude part of fucking is before the fucking part of the fun of fucking is before the fucking dude everything before the thing that actually happens is more fun than the thing that actually happens that's it dude put that on my tombstone everything that happens is not as fun as before it happens. You've been to a banging party?

Yeah. What was more exciting than that? Driving on the way to the party, man. What's going to happen? Oh, in your head. Man, there's going to be chicks, dude. How many? 12 probably.

Really? Yup. Hot ones? 12 hot ones. And they're going to be all single? 11 of them are. Get the fuck out. Really?

And you get there and there's fucking two hot chicks and one has to leave early and the other one hooks up with fucking uh who's the guy from nick stall the terminator guy because he's at the party too the guy who everyone pretended was missing for fucking five years and then he was he was just like yeah i was just taking a hiatus you know um and uh and so uh so anyway uh i watched this fucking bachelor thing and anyway he did the and and they're just so fucking cute and funny dude and i saw the guy's instagram sean low bro the guy says the funniest shit about his kids he had his third daughter he had his third kid which was a daughter and he was like everyone every every parent says something like every parent says they don't i don't have the they they pretends like they don't have their favorite kid or whatever and i'm so proud to say that i finally have mine and he's holding his daughter like that's hilarious i love that couple man so i don't

so listen fuck the bachelor and the bachelorette i don't even know which one it was that they were on but that that couple i'm with them till the end dude i'll ride with them till the wheels fall off and that's the thing too that i was like on this fuck the bachelor, fuck the bachelorette shit. And I saw that and I don't have an open mind, dude. My mind is closed shut, man. You know how my mind is? Narrow.

My mind's like a tight pussy, dude. But I saw it. I was in a certain mood and I felt a certain way about it. And now life is about change. Life is about growth. But guess what? After that, it's like that fucking thing.

The congeals, like when an alien gets shot, pop, pop, pop, pop. And then my mind's back closed as fuck. After I saw that, those little fucking, that couple, Sean and Catherine Lowe, pat, pat, pat. And then,

I saw that, and oh, oh, oh, the fucking Terminator, where he's like, bong, bong, bong, bong. And there's a big, like, crescent-shaped hole in his arms hanging off, and then it fucking congeals back,

and then he starts walking forward again. I'm back to narrow mind, tight pussy mind. Anyway, look them up.'re cute dude and it's all about being cute um okay so also i'm gonna do ads but also it was very cool how fucking one fire said do you want me to add some stuff on the notes for you six days ago and i said sure why not didn't add one thing cool one fire um let me do this here didn't add one thing didn't add one thing um okay cool man that's what's up. I was in, I was in, I told you I like this new clothing line, Represent.

I wore that shirt last week. And then I got the, I bought these other shirts and I'm wearing it right now. I think I'm between a large and a fucking extra large. And that's where I always am. I mean, this kind of fits. This is not an ad by the way. That's good. It fits.

I think I'm a large. Anyway. The guy emailed me. Because I talked about it on the podcast. And he was like. Oh we're going to send you some shirts. So I said okay. And then I said.

Do you want my address? And he never wrote me back. So who the fuck knows. But. Whatever. Who cares. I like the shirts. That's what it is i don't go bad on people just because they don't email back some people go bad on people when

they don't email back or don't text back although if you're real good friends with someone and then they don't do that shit that's weird like adam divine did that shit to me bro fucking text me back um uh anyway yeah there's some juicy hot gossip for you yeah dude motherfucker would hit me back constantly and now i guess fucking he's got that jexi money but uh so what else? Oh, dude, the fucking. Look at this shit, the shit that I write in my notes that I later have no idea what it means. Like zero idea what this could possibly mean. The hierarchy of guys and fucking. Worst novel of all time. The hierarchy of God. One of the fucking like a Dianetics with that font and shit. With a volcano on it.

And if you look closely, it's enough. It's a penis fucking coming. So crass. Dude, I saw Joker finally. I saw Joker finally. And it is so fucking good and i know everybody thinks that and everyone says that but jesus christ man here's what i think i could do that i could be that guy and i can have the fucking uh uprising that that character has and i think honestly it starts with this fucking podcast and thank you beforehand because i know these motherfuckers

the babies dude these motherfuckers who listen you you you're listening right now in your fucking car or probably at home because it's sad and you can't go anywhere unless you're in missouri but you you're my baby man and if i ever get in a fucking insane asylum you come and you break me out man because i need you dude i'm not staying in that motherfucker because what i'm doing it's all i i'm not evil okay what i think is that's what they did about that movie that was so good they made you feel for that dude and he was a psychopath killer but the whole world is different for me now that i have my son man i watch everything different before i had my son when i saw joker i'd be like ah this fucking guy wow that's badass that's crazy now that i have my son i see everyone as somebody's fucking kid

and i get sad dude i watched joker and i got sad because i'm like man this fucking especially because he had the part with his mom in it and i'm like ah this kid he was just a boy at one point you know i want to say everyone should have kids because it fucking, it changes your fucking world. And I hate when people say that. But it's so true, man. Everyone was somebody's fucking kid once. Even the Joker. Even the Joker.

Even the real Joker. But, yeah. God, Joaquin Phoenix was so good the whole movie was so good Todd Phillips I don't even understand how you it's so hard to make a movie that's so sound and wrapped up in its own world and everything makes sense in that world that's created and when it's And when it's quote unquote a real movie, like a movie that tries to be real, I think it's in a way even harder. Like take The Matrix 1. To me, a great example of a movie that creates a world and then adheres to all the rules in its world and there's no like false moments i mean maybe there's one or two i don't know i had to see it again but it makes sense

within itself you know people argue that like star wars is like that i don't really watch star wars but like um you know it's like a philosophy and it's hard to do that in a sci-fi movie obviously but it's also in a way easier because you could just make shit up you know that's why i don't like a lot of sci-fi movies because they'll be like ah fuck the world's ending and they're like oh yeah well we they just invented this thing like oh really yeah oh let's use it well the thing is it's only on fucking mars oh well let's go to mars well the only way we can get there now because the fucking zorzonauts exploded the fucking things where we got to go back in time oh fuck how do we do that well there's a thing there's a device oh okay i didn't know that yeah well they just

made it when in the future what oh i just came back to tell you this oh okay so you're not born yet nah and then if people are like fucking you know dorks with black sabbath shirts are just eating popcorn like well i mean this is fucking amazing and so um but the joke to do it in a real movie is is in a way harder because people are expecting realness it's like when people talk about the chris christopher nolan batman about the joker and how it was real like okay yeah it it did kind of adopt a realness to it but dude at the end batman was still fucking flying around from building the building and like had technology that didn't exist but the joker or joker rather didn't do that it was all stuff that could possibly happen and the world that they created

in that world was all truthful and it was just fucking an amazing movie man and todd phillips came to see me uh do stand-up like a few weeks before joker came out and i was like i can't wait to see your movie and i finally saw it and i don't know if you fucking will hear this but dude i i mean i'm talking about i can't stop thinking of that movie i can't stop thinking about that movie and how good it was and here's what i think too it should have won best picture i didn't see all the things but i saw para parasite and that movie was good it was very good it i think best screenplay okay give it to parasite fine but that movie was great but joker was great and also entertaining i thought parasite was a little bit and you know this could i'm sure this was intentional it was a little bit harder to watch

because but but just every moment of joker was just like and it was it was it got away with being relevant socially and also entertaining, which is like so fucking hard. Anyway, whatever. Enough of that. Since we're talking about movies, let's talk about fucking James Bond. I watched his video the other day. Oh, my fucking... Dude, this killed me.

Dude, there's a video on YouTube called Seven Inappropriate Moments James Bond Wouldn't Get Away With Now. And it's on... The moments james bond wouldn't get away with now and it's on it's the page is digital spy and they just go through seven moments that it would and they're like some of them with sean connery and the other guys and shit but dude i just love it how times change uh man talk turns a woman around says uh man talk and then slaps her ass and she walks away dude imagine if daniel craig did that in fucking uh quantum leap or whatever the fuck it is quantum solace for fuck's sake dude why do they name fucking movies something that you would never know what it is i don't know what quantum is i don't even barely know what solace is put them shits together or ghost protocol dude you know go fuck yourself ghost protocol yeah all right dude just call the movie Jumping Round.

Tom fucking Cruise, whatever, did all his old, ran off a bit. That's so, dude. Tom Cruise is such a fucking big, good, successful actor that he's like, no, we're not getting stuntman, dude. I've done it all. I've fucked every kind of thing in the world. And I've made all the money.

Tie me up. I'm swinging through that building. So here's the other one. Jesus, so loud. Here's another one. Look what he tells the black guy. I'm going fast. Where's your boat?

Where's my shoes? Look what he tells the black guy. Oh, it turns to the black guy and says, fetch my shoes. So racist. Here's another one. Oh, this shit. The Indian with a bunch of Indian guys. Keep you in curry for a few weeks?

I don't even really know honestly what that means. There's a few where he's like slapping women, which is just crazy to me. This is the best one, though, I thought, as in worst one. Crazy to me. This is the best one, though, I thought, as in worst one. In an illogical and offensive plan, James attempts to blend in with the locals in Japan by becoming Japanese thanks to a bad wig, fake tan, eyebrow extensions, and some false eyelids. Dude, what is this?

Fucking Austin Powers? I didn't realize how... And then he walks in... And he says like... He walks into the... Undercover to the lady. And he says... And he doesn't even really look more

Japanese. Here's another one where he uses fucking... He doesn't take no for an answer and where's another one there was another good one i thought no no that one just makes me uncomfortable tries to rape a lesbian okay um oh this was the one where he fucking puts the dwarf in a suitcase. Oh. Oh. Disconnected. Where he puts the dwarf in a suitcase, dude.

Like, he's fighting. Is that even the right thing to say, dwarf? This is what the YouTube video says. In a fist fight with a dwarf, James ridiculously traps Knickknack in it. the fact that he's called knickknack anyway you know uh before carrying him out of the room and he's fighting he like he's just like walking towards him with the suitcase and then just fucking, and they cut, they cut it to him already in the suitcase, obviously because it would be fucking impossible.

I mean, the fucking guy's name is Nick Knack. Oh, prejudice. Wow. You know, imagine if you tried to get a fucking movie done and you had a dwarf in it and his name was knickknack in it now wow wow canceled for me canceling me for even supposing

that uh i would love if daniel they i want them fuck that everyone's trying to make the most pc like now they're talking about how the 007 is going to be a woman and how james bond has a daughter or whatever the fuck it is fuck all that dude go extra hard extra hard and just be like the racist bond to where he's just like literally says the n-word in or like just says stuff like well that's because they're stupid about like just any other race uh what the fuck i the world would be over if if james bond came out i'll tell you what though no matter what they do there's gonna be a problem so i can't wait for that i can't wait for the new james bond movie Bond movie to come out with the black female 007 or whatever the hell it is. I can't wait for that to come out, and I can't wait for the problem.

Mark my words. Let me know. That's me doing the minority report fucking for the movie review. That's me doing the minority report fucking for the movie review. God, Terry Crews is the king of putting his foot in his mouth, huh? How he said the thing about the... How he said the thing about black supremacy. Like, I even understand what he was trying to say. And like, I get...'s not the fucking weird thing

is like honestly what Terry Crews said was stupid but I bet he's a fucking good guy and I mean maybe he's not what the fuck do I know but we get fucking so hell-bent on what people say that we don't know who they that we don't consider who they actually are and that's one of the biggest problems i think you know like the jimmy fallon thing dude you really think that motherfucker is a piece of shit because he did the blackface in 2001 you really think jimmy fallon doesn't deserve everything he got because because of that i know jimmy fallon i mean i've met him i don't know twice the guy's the nicest motherfucker now apparently i don't know him really well i mean obviously i don't know him really well not apparently i don't know him really well but like

these motherfuckers terry crew is what he said about the uh about uh what do you say about the fucking terry cruz black supremacy let me google it stands his ground wow he stands his ground i gotta read this terry cruz this is on newsminer.com terry cruz found himself Terry Cruz, this is on newsminer.com. Terry Cruz found himself urging against group think Monday, defeating white supremacy. Oh God, this is annoying as fuck.

To get the full story, select an option below. Email, password, bro, fuck you. I'm not signing up for news, dude. News is news. You're lucky I'm not on Twitter. Oh, you want me to go to Twitter? I'll fucking go to Twitter. Stupid shit.

Pay for news and shit. Here we go. LA Times. Does this work? Terry Crews found himself. Yeah, here, here. It's free here. Pay for fucking bullshit.

Fuck you. News. It's news. Defeating white supremacy without white people creates black supremacy. Equality is the truth. Like it or not, we're all in this together. People fucking lit him up for this. Obviously. It's obviously a dumb way to say this, okay? But you know what the fuck he's saying. For people to just be like, all right, this motherfucker, fuck him forever, is just so weird to me. It's just so weird to me it's just so weird to me that whole cancel culture thing um he took this time to respond to a few people uh godfrey said godfrey comedian i love you as a friend brother terry but i disagree with you

100 no such thing as black supremacy right well no shit there's definitely no such thing as black supremacy uh that is a tactic that racist white used i've actually never even heard the term before until he said it but to counteract our rebellion to their horrific treatment of us it's called gaslighting black pride is an anti-white yeah agree uh terry crew says i agree i'm not discussing white people here there are gatekeepers of blackness with our own community who decide who's black and who's not i have often been called out for not being black enough how can that be kevin powell responds terry with all due respect given your platform you cannot just post something like that even remotely suggest that black people would fall into black supremacy this is what i agree with that for sure uh if we battle white supremacy without white people yeah i agree with that i think he

just fucking he's just a he puts his foot in his fucking mouth on twitter all the time kevin i've learned that people and this is what carrie says kevin i've learned that people will take anything you say and twist it for their own evil anything i mean yeah i agree with that too uh yeah see this is the other thing Terry Cruz please he tweets this please know that everything I've said comes from a spirit of love and reconciliation for the black community first then the world

as a whole in hopes to see a better future for black people like I believe that he thinks that so that should be it you know we should just fucking everyone's trying to do their well no not everyone but a guy like i believe that guy like a guy like terry cruz is trying to do his best and that's very important

um so anyway anyway how it fucking how ripped is Terry Crews by the way is that guy in his 50s no he's like 40 something 50 something he could be 90

who knows but people look good they look good as fuck when they're older Is that guy in his 50s? No, he's like 40-something, 50-something. He could be 90. Who knows? Bad people look good. They look good as fuck when they're older. What do I want? Oh, yeah, this is the thing I wanted to fucking find and talk about. The fucking Kevin Spacey thing. I can't believe I never talked about this kevin spacey when he did the

the let me be frank video this is some ride or die shit like this is ride or die shit and i would never god what he did is bad trying to fuck like 15 year old boys or whatever i actually don't know specifically what what he did i know there was that kid who was in the star trek series that he tried to fuck when he was like 16 i think that was specifically all i know but man the fact that kevin spacey let it go for like a year, and... And he wrote, and he did this video where he was acting like the guy from House of Cards

in his own video on YouTube is just fucking so ride or die that I can't even believe it. He's washing his hands. On Christmas Eve, he posts this. I know what you want. Yeah? Oh, sure, they may have tried to separate us,

but what we have is too strong, it's too powerful. I mean, after all, we shared everything, you and I. I told you my deepest, darkest secrets. I showed you exactly what people are capable of. Okay, he's in his fucking Frank shit as House of Cards. And it's like, is he going to confess or what the fuck? But he's playing this character, puts this out. I've actually never watched this whole thing.

I shocked you with my honesty but mostly i challenged you and made you think and you trusted me even though you knew you shouldn't so we're not done no matter what anyone says yeah the worst fucking like background music or uh background talking hey the camera's shaking a little bit i don't know what's going on is the dog um the the background uh party goers is so bad that it sounds so fake listen listen to it even though you knew you shouldn't Listen, listen to it. Even though you knew you shouldn't.

So we're not done, no matter what anyone says. And besides, I know what you want. You want me back. Hey, man, confess. Of course, some believed everything and have just been waiting with bated breath to hear me confess it all. I knew the words bated breath was going to be in this, by the way. It's so Kevin Spacey to say baited breath is dying to have me declare that everything said is true and that i got what i deserved wouldn't that be easy if it was all so simple only you and i both know it's never that simple it's so weird how actors are so annoying when they're acting but

then also there's like joaquin Phoenix when he does the Joker, and you're like, oh, wait, this is actually fucking the shit. I don't understand the difference sometimes. Like, this is so bad to me. It's so fucking weird. Politics are not in life. But you wouldn't believe the worst without evidence, would you? You wouldn't rush to judgments without facts, would you?

Yeah, I mean, he's talking about himself as Frank. you underwood is it how's it going not you you're smarter than that anyway all this presumption made for such an under oh of course they're going to say i'm being disrespectful not playing by the rules who wrote this is what i want to know dude also i didn't realize, I fucking forgot about the conspiracy where people think that he's murdering his accusers. Somebody write, who's here after wondering if Kevin Spacey is murdering people?

What do they say here? Or the peeps he knows doing it for him. They're all beyond a joke at this point. See, this is the stuff I just can't, the conspiracy theory shit is just so wild to me. I know I've talked about this before, but like you think Kevin Spacey is hiring people to kill his accusers?

Dude, he would be caught, okay? Everyone's eyes are on him right now. Right now, only Italians are on eyes on him because they're there and they don't give a fuck about the Me Too movement. They're like, oh, what do you mean the lady didn't want it? No lady's ever wanted. You still.

They hate when you call them in the street, just like from when you fuck, it doesn't. You have to force, you know, otherwise it doesn't work. We're so gross, you know. They walk down the street, you say, Hey, ciao bella, ciao bella. And they go, ah, ah. And they try to run away. But you chase.

You chase, you grab, you know? Me too. Me too, I grab you. They don't give a fuck. You fuck and they end up liking you wow and then you eat the spaghetti together and then you know if they don't like the spaghetti you make them eat all of it until they like it eat eat that's what the whole italian culture is dude my whole fucking family is you know has roots in italy dude they fucking you know how many how italian look at watch the fucking sopranos eat here eat something you want

something no here eat this i just told you i don't want it eat it it's fucking the whole thing is right you like it yeah i mean i didn't want it but i like it you raped my mouth with some fucking yams you raped my mouth with some fucking yams that's how being italian is you want something you want something to eat every time i go over my mom you want something to eat no just tuna salad in the fridge no here five fifteen minutes later what oh that's the sandwich oh okay and i'm eating it i didn't want it And I'm eating it. I didn't want it. Eat.

Put it in your mouth. Put it in your mouth. Chew it. Swallow it. Eat the whole damn thing. Eat the whole thing. I don't want to. You're going to eat the whole thing.

I don't want to. You're going to do it. I'm going to beat the shit out of you. Oh, okay. You're going to're gonna eat it and then okay i'm gonna fucking tell everybody you're doing this you're gonna keep your mouth shut no i'm gonna tell people you're gonna keep your mouth shut you're gonna eat the tuna salad you're gonna keep your mouth shut no i'm gonna tell people you're gonna tell whoever you want they're not going to believe you they're going to believe your word against mine

I'm a successful businessman you're going to eat the pasta you're going to go out there you're going to tell people they're not going to believe a word you say I was at his house and he fucking made me eat a bunch of pasta dude i didn't like it he asked for the pasta he asked for the plate of a pasta and he showed up with a fork and knife.

He was addressed for the occasion. Anyway, dude, that's the dumbest bit I've ever done. I'm pretty sure I could have been canceled for that for sure a year and a half ago uh anyway times change and comedy changes oh as long as you say the right thing a fucking year later it's okay or before after the fucking hot zone before or after the fucking hot zone of the fucking problem during the time brown

like right now you can't make jokes about black people brown but in fucking five years or about a year ago it was perfectly fine but now you got stanley tucci on that fucking black and white video saying I won't make even jokes about black people. You have my word. What was that video, bro? I had friends in that video, bro. And I don't know what to say about it. I have friends in that video, bro. It's weird when it's close to home, bro.

that video brown it's weird when it's close to home brown the fucking imagine song was one thing because i didn't know anyone in the video brown so i called them stupid brown but this new one i got friends in it and i don't know what to say about it brown because i think it's done but also brown i want to be a fucking love friend brown because i love the dude brown um yeah i don't know man eat the pasta and you shut your mouth you leave the place and nobody gonna believe you um so uh i'm fucking hot as shit dude and i mean sweaty and fucking sexy dude um um there's so much shit that happened dude what is this shit dude one fire just sent me a look we've never talked about

the right wedding dj boob slap like what no we haven't everybody get in the back of the line, you wanna do it? Have a slice of wine. How about these? Oh, wait, wait, I've seen this before. Oh, yeah, I remember this. This has to be fake, dude. I mean, I understand he does it. What the fuck is this dude this guy wedding singer

boob slap dude unbelievable it has half a million views this guy is a dj that's just killing it at this place and you can tell because he's a fucking pasty white guy and nobody kills fucking dj and at fucking corporate events or also weddings or bar mitzvahs than a fucking pasty white blonde dude with blonde hair. That is fucking also his hips are wider than his shoulders. And that's what this guy is. And there is a girl on the other side of the fucking podium. After he's like, yeah, we got to go and we got a lot of fucking, yeah, everyone's fucking walking around.

And then fucking he takes a break from that, turns to the lady and just fucking straight up slaps her titties dude he just goes bang bang bang bang bang with no respect for a fucking female form and that guy i guarantee you if this guy is doing that, which is 100% exactly what he wants, living like that, I guarantee you he will live to be over 100 years old because that's the key to life, dude. If you do what you want when you want it, and this guy is not only doing what he wants, when you want it. And this guy is not only doing what gangster i've ever seen this pasty white dude shaped like a pear with blonde fucking thinning hair and a bow tie straight up took a break from his job and instead of going to the water cooler said hey check it out i'm gonna fucking meat slap some titties he just goes dude with the

disrespect too he fucking kicked his elbow out and did it like it wasn't like a fucking pat pat like a a tight pat pat slap like where he was like getting ready for some pat pat he just goes like this pat like like swings his elbow out it was a lazy slap dude this dude is going to live mark my fucking words to he could eat all the fucking processed meat. He could smoke. He can do coke. This dude is going to live past 100. And this is where we all need to get. We don't need to fucking actually.

He's probably not assaulting her. Because probably his wife. Hopefully. Imagine if it was just a random stranger dude. I'm going to slap you titties. Nobody's going to believe you. It's going to be on video. It doesn't matter.

Unreal dude. gonna slap you titties and nobody's gonna believe you it's gonna be our video it doesn't matter unreal dude she just stands there too wow amazing also how about just straight up in any case the least sexy thing you can possibly do like i'm talking about eating a fucking turkey leg while fucking is more sexy than just batting the shit out some titties like it's a pinata. All right, dude. I'm out. You guys are great. Thank you very much for listening. Wow, thanks for sending me that video, OneFire.

What a good job. You know what? One higher. So you guys are cool. And watch my special No Pain. And what else dude you can text me at fucking that number it's on my instagram

uh and uh I don't know what else is going on in the world but hopefully next week there'll be a world to come back to uh you know shit's getting worse and worse by the day all good uh and you know have a good one, guys. Thank you.

Congratulations. Congratulations. Congratulations. Congratulations. The hierarchy of guys fucking?