Congratulations with Chris D'Elia - 271. Got No Brain

Episode Date: September 1, 2022

Check out LIFELINE! watchlifeline.com 🎟 Catch the uncensored/extended episodes ad/commercial free +1 entire bonus episode per month + Discord & exclusive content over on Patreon: patreon.com/chrisdelia 👉 Thank you BetterHelp! Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/congratulations 👉 10% off Pure Spectrum CBD, use code CONGRATS at checkout purespectrumcbd.com This week Chris has returned to the road and is loving his crowds in Dallas and Wichita! Plus Cypress Hill is at the airport and we've got Tinder conversations and Deserve-It-Scale videos! Spread the love using the hashtag #congratulationspod on Instagram and everywhere else, and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app. 📸 Instagram: instagram.com/chrisdelia 🕺 TikTok: tiktok.com/@chrisdelia 🎮 Twitch: twitch.tv/flexavenue 🐥 Twitter: twitter.com/chrisdelia 👤 Facebook: facebook.com/chrisdeliaofficial Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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That's BetterHelp.com. meeting with friends before the show we can book your reservation and when you get to the main event skip to the good bit using the card member entrance let's go seize the night that's the powerful backing of american express visit amex.ca slash y amex benefits vary by card other conditions Hello guys, and welcome to a super cult production of Congratulations. Dude, it's awesome, man. The guy's writing me here let me figure this out um okay all right cool um all right dude yeah dude i get texts whatever what do you want to what do you want what do you want from me i get texts and sometimes i need to check them and that's how it goes and uh you know that's me being respectfully me for that ass.

So thank you for listening. This is, you know, congratulations episode, whatever it is. I'm not in the business of counting the episodes. But I'm here. And, man, let me just tell you. Let me actually start off by saying, first of all, we got merch out there. We got the brown shits and the periwinkle shits out there and the life rips you know it's brown whatever we'll put some slides up here but um we uh it's all out chrysalia.com and uh

but we've got exclusive merch from the shows that you can only get live at the shows and this shit was selling like fucking vaccines dude it was selling like uh like covid tests i should say is what i mean because those had a really, those surged over the past few years. You know what I mean? But yeah, dude, I played a few venues already. I did Dallas and I did Wichita before I even start telling you about that. Let me tell you, I will be in DC, Washington, DC, chrystalia.com. I'll be in Atlanta too.

That's sold out. There's still some tickets left to Washington, DC. And I'll be in Stockton and uh Oakland there so get your tickets at crystalia.com Stockton Oakland and also um Washington DC can't wait to play really the nation's capital you know that's just me being I'm not even political but that's just like me kind of like you know i just you know i'm american dude you know what was that proud to be an american but what i always say is you're either an american or an americant and i'm an american

not an americant um so yeah so that's where I'll be, Oakland. And then I got a Hollywood California date at the improv there. I'm just going to do a Chris Lee and Friends. Peoria, Rockford, Illinois, Raleigh, North Carolina. And then I added Tempe, Arizona, just I'm going to do some, I'm going to be out there in Phoenix. Thanks. So I'm going to go do some shows in Tempe while I'm there at the Tempe Improv. Yeah, man, it's been fun, dude. I was, let me just thank you for being here, man. Thank you for listening. I'm feeling very grateful for today. I'm grateful that you're here listening and I just, I want to thank you, man. This this is great and i still can't see if you're with me last time last week told you my eyes were blurry and my eyes are still blurry dude and that's

just how it's gonna be i guess um i thought it was from maybe some crying that i was doing but it wasn't necessarily from some crying i was doing because i didn't cry today and my contacts are definitely just blurry so i won't be able to read the screen of the computer yes dude that's awesome man fuck yeah i love when i can't see shit um you know i'm sure all this flying you know took a took a few flights man took a few flights doesn't help wore contacts for extended periods of time shouldn't people should i should get lasik not going to get lasik because that means there will be lasers in my eyes and if there's an earthquake while i get lasers in my eyes

just fucking and then fucking a whole shit's like that fucking scene from um what's that uh fucking uh video resident evil when the fucking lasers go through the guy and it's and it just splits them in that room? You know what I'm talking about if you're a fucking dork. And I'm a dork. Do you know that scene, Ivan? Ivan knows it well. We dorks.

So, yeah. So, I took a bunch of flights. I flew out to Dallas. Dallas. I flew out to Dallas in one of the shows and Chris Lee has shows Dallas. Dallas. I flew out to Dallas in one of the shows and Chris D'Elia's shows Dallas and I flew out there and I met Kristen and Calvin there and it was

so awesome. I got the tour report coming out here on my YouTube on my other channel on the Chris D'Elia YouTube channel. But yeah, I met with Calvin and Kristen and it was awesome, man, because I was away from my family for like two or three days because she went to St. Louis to visit some friends and took Calvin with them with her.

And then, uh, and then went to, and then met me in Dallas and it's awesome, man. It's awesome to see your son in a different state. It's just so cool, man. Like you're like, Oh dude, this guy's kind of like, my son's been to Wichita, dude. That's hilarious. He's fucking two and a half. And my son's just been to Kansas, dude. Just born in Beverly Hills.

Fucking been to Kansas. I've never been to. I'll tell you what, when I showed up to Wichita. Do you know when I knew? I don't even know if I've been. I've been on the road to so many different places. I don't know if I've been to these places before. And I get there and I'm like, Wichita, fuck yeah.

And then I can tell by the crowd reaction or if they tell me afterwards or the driver on the way there, I'll be like, have I been here before? And they're like, yeah, you've been there. You came three years ago for the fucking no pain set. And I was like, oh, really? I don't know. And then I get there and the fucking guy in charge, he's like, welcome back. And I'm like, fuck yeah. And then another person there is like, yeah, you never came here before. So who knows it's up in the air. But the guy in charge said I went and the driver said I went that she drove me before. So that's good. But I did the Dallas show and my God, dude,

you can see on the video I put out on the tour report video I put out on, on YouTube. The crowd was just amazing, dude. You know, we sold a bunch of tickets and it was beautiful. And I didn't know that this was going to happen afterwards, but Kristen was over in the wings with Calvin and he sat and watched the whole fucking show. fucking show and afterwards i looked over at him and my son just comes walking out and runs up to me and i grabbed him and it was the sweetest fucking thing and there's video of it and in the video if i slow it down i could see him see me and then run to me and right before i i grab him he smiles dude and it's so fucking cute that he smiles at the hug it's man. And I thanked everybody and they fucking, and they're just great, man. Thank you for coming out, Dallas. You guys are fucking awesome. And then I flew to fucking Wichita

and the flight was too early. Yeah, baby. But then I, dude, the flight was too early. And, you know, we put Calvin down and he got about six hours or no, I guess it was like seven hours of sleep. Not so bad, you know, for me, a travesty, We put Calvin down and he got about six hours or no, I guess it was like seven hours of sleep. Not so bad, you know, for me, a travesty.

But for him, he's a, you know, he can buck up. And for me, it's a travesty. If I get any less than nine hours a day, don't talk to me, dude. Sincerely, don't talk to me. It's rough. Yo, turn me down to the headphones a little bit. P. Diddy. Turn me down to the headphones a little bit, P Diddy, turn me down to headphones,

and so, uh, if I get anywhere less than nine hours, uh, don't talk to me, seven, for real, seven, no, do not talk to me, I'm more, like, it's so, it's so awful, I need at least eight, and so, we got up, we packed, we got on the fucking airplane, uh, flight was like 40 minutes, We got on the fucking airplane. Flight was like 40 minutes. And did that. And then did Wichita. Now let me tell you about Wichita, dude. Wichita.

Sold out. Awesome show. Fucking, I've been there before, it turns out. And the BTK killers from there. Of course, I did a bunch of minutes up top talking about the BTK killer um and uh yeah it's crazy that that's its claim to fame because btk killer killed a bunch of people in wichita and park city kansas between 1974 and 1990 1971 and 1994 so So then he stopped and then he couldn't help himself. And then in the 2000s, he started writing journalists

how he's a BTK killer and then he got caught. So it all catches up with you. And I know that because I did some research. So I do research and that's that. So I did the Wichita shows

and they fucking gave me a standing ovation, dude. And they gave me a standing ovation in Dallas, of course, naturally. And before and after, it was very sweet, and I got very emotional. But Wichita gave me one in the middle, dude. And I texted to Brian Callen. I was like, yo, dude, do you ever get a standing ovation in the middle? And he said no, because he doesn't.

And he doesn't even get them in the beginning or the end, but I do, and it's all good, my babies, and we had a good time, and he says, yeah, I don't care, dude, I said, yeah, but dot, dot, dot, you ever get them in the middle, and, you know, felt good, dude, love Wichita, I should have shot my fucking, honestly, I should have shot my special there, that shit was bonkers, dude. Anyway, dude, enough. I'm not trying to gloat. I'm just trying to tell you I'm very, very appreciative and I'm very grateful. And you guys fucking came out and I will be hitting Atlanta and Washington, D.C.

and Stockton for some reason and Oakland and Peoria for some reason and Rockford for some reason. So go to ChrisLea.com, get your tickets and I can't wait to go, dude. And I will be putting out vlogs for all these, dude, because I'm having a fucking good time, dude. And I want to share the experience with you guys. We flew from Dallas. Okay, so we had to take Wichita flight back to Dallas and then Dallas back to LAX. And, dude, we get to the airport in Dallas when we're from Kansas.

And dude, I get there and I look and there's fucking homies. You know what I mean? Just like homies. Like when a group is together at an airport, you see them and you're like, oh, I like that. They're traveling all together.

But these dudes were all dressed in black, all homies, and there were like eight of them, right. And I look at one of them, they all got masks on. Now I'm like, okay, if you have masks on in LAX, right. I don't even really think, I don't really, you know, LA is very woke. Right. So if you're going to wear masks, a lot of masks in an airport, right. That's okay. You're woke and that's fine. It shouldn't be a political thing. If you feel comfortable wearing a mask inside, great, more power to you. I think you should. I want you to be comfortable, right? Okay. Now, if you see masks in Dallas airport, something like is different, right? So I'm like,

why are these guys wearing a mask? Why are the homies wearing a mask right why are these eight homies wearing masks because if you see eight homies wearing masks in dallas you think okay well yeah sure we are flying to los angeles so maybe they're woke but also maybe some extras going on here so i do my fucking thing you know how uh who's the fucking detective uh watson and sherlock holmes i do my fucking thing. You know how, who's the fucking detective Watson and Sherlock Holmes? I do my thing where I quickly gather all the information just by taking a fucking wide shot of the people, right? You ever do that? You ever try to feel information, right? Because you can do that, dude.

That's the gift of fear. You ever read that book? It's amazing. It's about intuition, more specifically women's intuition, but I have women's intuition, okay? We don't label my intuition. My intuition, I identify as women's intuition. Okay. My, I don't, we don't label my intuition, my intuition. I identify as a woman. All right. So my intuition as a woman takes a wide snapshot of these guys. And I immediately go to, Oh, this is a hip hop group. Now, am I racist? We don't know, but none of the guys are black. So maybe not, but they are maybe all not white. Like maybe

they're Mexican or I don't know what they are. They're not black. They're Cuban. There's something, but I take the snapshot. I take the intuition snapshot and I decide they're a hip hop group. Now, am I racist? Now, what do I do? And the reason why I'm wondering about this is because maybe they're not wearing the masks out of wokeness. Maybe they're wearing the masks because of why. Well, they have hoods on. They all have sunglasses on. Maybe they're doing it to try to disguise their face, which is what I should be doing because it's super annoying when people come up to me at the airport

and ask for pictures and then take videos. Now, you ask for a pic, why'd you take a vid? All good. You ask for one thing, not the other. I acquiesced, and now I'm stuck on video looking like a fucking asshole, and I got a smile. Ha ha!

So I judge maybe they're famous, and I judge maybe they're a hip-hop group. I'm not racist, but I do a little bit more of, I take more than just the intuition snapshot. I take more than that. of I take more than just the intuition snapshot. I take more than that. I look at them and I decide I'm 80% sure that they're fucking Cypress Hill.

Okay? I'm 80% sure that they're Cypress Hill. So I go, maybe that's B-Real. Maybe that's Sendog. I've got no idea. Is it Sendog and B-Real? I don't know. I walk over to my tour manager. He says, do you see Cypress Hills here? And I go,

and I know it's Cypress Hill. Number one, because I thought it was Cypress Hill and my tour manager said, did you see Cypress Hill over there? But mostly because my tour manager is mexican now that was too soft the renter we need to make it a little bit there we go dude now he's mexican so he knows right because i have mexican and also like for some reason persians love cypress hill but and they and they and i have personal friends that love cypress hill and dude it was cypress fucking hill and um and i'm like am i gonna become friends with be am i gonna become friends with be real dude and now a word from our sponsor, BetterHelp. Look, there are plenty of ways to support a healthy brain,

like learning a new language or taking power naps. You know, there's exercise. There's a bunch of things, but there's also BetterHelp online therapy. I do therapy. To be quite honest, it helps save my life, man. You know, mental health is a really important thing that you need to take care of. And it's a struggle for a lot of people. It's been a struggle for me.

And it continues to be. I have very bad OCD and anxiety. And therapy, I think, is a great way to take care of your mental health. And I think that you take care of your car by bringing it into the shop. You got to do therapy to take care of your brain. Maintenance. It's all about maintenance. BetterHelp is online therapy that offers video, phone, and even the live chat therapy session.

So you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to, if you feel any type of way about it. It's great. It's much more affordable here at BetterHelp than in-person therapy. And it's also easier to get to because you just do it on BetterHelp. You can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. That's very quickly. It's very hard to find a therapist usually. Anyway, our listeners here of congratulations get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash congratulations. That's betterhelp.com slash congratulations. So if you support the show and you're into maintaining your mental health, go here, BetterHelp. Thank you. Here is something you can't understand. What could just kill a man? The two opposite ends of voices and two fucking lines. Here is something you can't understand.

What could just kill a man? Two opposite ends, dude. I didn't know they had so many fucking hits, though, dude. Their songs are so cinematic, dude. Their songs are so cinematic. They're in so many movies. Remember this one? I want to get high, so high.

Remember that one? Remember this one? I'm having illusions, blippity illusions, blippity floney nine. Whatever the fuck. Remember that one? So many fucking good songs, man. They really did, dude. That one and fucking, there was another song called Lowrider.

What's the fucking, and then Cypress. I'm having the illusions and the petusions and the bleep flicks and the rhymes. What else, dude? Songs, Cypress Hill songs. Are they from Cypress Hill or some shit? This one with the fucking insane in the membrane. Insane in the brain. And then it goes insane in the membrane.

And then it goes insane because it got no brain. Dude, so like fucking high making that song. Insane because it got no brain. Wouldn't be insane. Would just be fucking on a pile of skin on the floor. rain wouldn't be insane would just be fucking on a pile of skin on the floor and then that fucking so you wanna be a rock superstar m&m live large buy your house five cars and you're in charge

coming up in the world if you don't know that song you're fucking you go no brain dude that song was fucking dude I'm so good at hitting those notes it's unbelievable

you know exactly what I'm so good at hitting those notes. It's unbelievable. You know exactly what I'm fucking doing when I go, blonk, thunk, bang, boom, bang, boom, bang, bang. Blonk, thunk, bang, boom, bang, boom, bang, bang. Blonk, thunk, bang, boom, bang, boom, bang, bang. Blonk, thunk, bang, boom, bang, boom. So you want to be a rock superstar? If you don't know that song You got no brain So yeah dude

It's killer shit So now I'm like Am I gonna be friends with Be Real And also I'm like we're Sendog And for some reason I got in the back of my head That Sendog quit the group I have no idea But there was another guy

That looked like he was Cuban And it could have been Sendog And that's when I knew I was racist Still not sure if it's Sendog And they were all sitting Dude here's the thing about Cypress Hill You want some inside info on Cypress Hill? Because I have it, dude. There was like eight of them, all dressed the same, all in black, looking real cool. They were all either in first class or the one right behind it,

like with the plus shit. And I'm telling you, dude, there were eight of them during the whole flight from Dallas to fucking LA. None of them said one word to each other. If that's not the most Cypress Hilliest ass shit that you've ever heard. They didn't say one word to each other, dude. And Calvin had a crying fit in front of B-Real. Sat in front of B-Real and my son had two cups of water and kept on putting the water in one cup and a water in another cup, water in one cup, water in another cup. And I was overseeing the operation, obviously, because this is going to fucking end in a travesty. And I'm like, I'm

going to do it until he spills a little, do it, do it. He keeps doing it, keeps doing it. And then he spilled a lot all over his fucking pants, dude. And it was annoying as shit, match, all over his fucking pants, dude. And it was annoying as shit, match, because now he can't change his pants because they're packed and we only have one diaper, right? And so I went to go,

so I go, all right, that's enough. And then Crystal was like, that's enough. And then she gave the cups to throw away to the fucking air stewardess to throw away. And then Calvin just starts crying so hard and right he was sat right in front of be real and he was fucking crying so hard dude he was like i need the cops but i kept on sneaking looks back to be real and if that guy was and maybe whoever that guy was that maybe was maybe send dog and he was just fucking crying dude

and i was like calvin you can't just you're gonna get wet dude you're gonna keep getting whoever that guy was, that was maybe Sendog. And he was just fucking crying, dude. And I was like, Calvin, you can't just, you're going to get wet, dude. You're going to keep getting wet. It's like, stop being fucking insane in the membrane, dude. Calvin, can you stop being insane in the membrane? You're being insane because you've got no brain. Calvin's been throwing some fits lately. It took a while.

When did the terrible twos? My pediatrician said it was supposed to be from one to two, but I have a feeling with Calvin, it's going to be from two and a half to three and a half, or maybe just two and a half on. My terrible twos are still happening. I'm having illusions. I'm having illusions in the back of my head.

Dude, fucking, I love that fucking, remember that? Was that training day? Blank, blank, blank, it. Fucking, um, I love that fucking member. That was that training day. Blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank,

blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank,

blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank,

blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, um super fun dude so my son's basically in cypress hill is basically what i mean they flew with him um can't see shit all good i got the best fans though man i really do i got the best fans in with wait no in dallas uh there was this artist guy that drew me pictures of me and also Calvin and Peppa Pig together. And then also Calvin.

I'll have to put his Instagram handle up here somewhere. I got to remember it. But I reposted his shit. And he also brought an oops, painted oops. I put on my Instagram story. But a painted oops grenade with my face on it. And it's a grenade that says oops. And it's, it's like a heavy real grenade thing, you know? And then, uh, and it was there when I got to Dallas and I was like, oh yeah, this guy said he was going to

bring it by. And he did. This is awesome. How cool. And I met him in the meet and greet, super nice guy, him and his lady. They're fucking beautiful. Uh, just their souls are just fucking beautiful. Right. And I don't really say that about many people. But, well, I just don't even say that, right? Because I'm not the kind of guy who says, like, you have a beautiful soul. Because who the fuck am I? Jason Mraz, you know? And Mr. A to the Z.

So corny, so... And so when I found out it was Jason M mraz was mr a to z that was like fucking holy shit talk about wee baby and i was like this for about a day and a half so uh i'm there and the fucking the pictures are there of calvin and peppa pig and then also just a picture of me doing stand-up and then picture of something else. I can't remember, but I have it. And, um, and the oops grenade. And then I'm like, very cool. Now my,

my ex is hitting me up saying, you know, she, she lives in Dallas and she's like, Hey, we want to come to the show. Uh, and I was like,

hell yeah. Come to the show. Set them up with tickets. You know, we're still friends and we're still good. And, um, and,

uh, and she comes to the show and she's like, do you want coffee? And I was like, fuck, you know what? I actually didn't ask anyone to get me a coffee. That would be beautiful. And she was like, I'll get you for whatever you and Kristen coffee? And I was like, fuck, you know what? I actually didn't ask anyone to get me a coffee. That would be beautiful.

She was like, I'll get you for whatever you and Kristen wants. And I was like, you get me this and this. And she's like, okay, cool. And then she calls me as I'm getting into the theater. And she's like, hey, they won't let me in because, I don't know, security's being real strict. They won't let me in because of the coffees and they won't let liquids in, and I was like, oh, okay, and I was like, hey, buddy, Enrique, can you go grab them, and just get sure, and let

them in, here, sorry, you know, give me the coffees, and I give Kristen the coffee, and I was like, that's so nice of you, thank you so much, hadn't seen her in a long time, give big hugs, she met Calvin, and all that shit, and I'm drinking the coffee, and I'm like, yeah, it's fucking, I guess they don't want the liquid in the thing, you you know I guess they want to fucking make money for their concession stand and then I stop and I think hey but wait though they were cool with a real grenade in my dressing room they can't bring liquids in but they they brought artillery, dude, it's a real grenade, and then Kristen is like, he gave you a grenade, and I'm like, yeah, isn't this cool, and she goes, no, and I was like, what do you mean, look at the art, and she says, is it real, and I was like,

well, they probably took the shit out, right, and she says, how do you know, and i was like well they probably took the shit out right and she says how do you know and i was like oh yeah you're right and they won't let a starbucks in and then i thought about wait a second i can't bring this on the plane though because you can't do it somebody tried to do it in oklahoma city and the whole airport got shut down it was another famous guy i can't remember and i say another famous guy because we're both famous because yeah i'm famous deal with it dude so i left a grenade in the fucking room in the dressing room and whoever play is playing their next like david gray whoever the fuck it is is gonna get it so david gray enjoy your oops grenade and i loved it i wanted to take it back but i can't take it back can you even mail a real grenade

how do you get a grenade from one place to another you got to use the military right i don't know man probably some backdoor shit but i will tell you dude it was you know the i couldn't bring it back but i loved it but i took a video of it so thank you very much for the oops grenade and you're probably listening because i think you listen to all the episodes you were saying because i met him at the meet and greet uh and uh thank you so much for your artwork i got the peppa big drawing i got the me drawing and i got there's another drawing i can't remember what it is i can't place it i think it was also of me but um yeah and i didn't bring the grenade but we have that moment together don't we yep and i was holding the grenade and then i was like wait a minute this could blow up at any time and then i put it fucking kind of in the corner whatever under a

pillow um you know what i mean so that's good i'm still hot in the headphones anyway though fucking fuck yeah dude i'm still hot and what you did earlier didn't affect it mean? So that's good I'm still hot in the headphones anyway Though fucking Fuck yeah dude I'm still hot What you did earlier Didn't even affect it at all So that's awesome dude Thanks a lot One fire Yeah Oh is that the right

There we go There we go That's it Fuck yeah dude It didn't work the first time I did the second time That's amazing dude What he did the first time

Literally didn't change it One iota And it's all good though So yeah I got that fucking The oops I wish I had the oops grenade I wish I did

Honestly So, yeah, I got that fucking, I wish I had the oops grenade. I wish I did, honestly. Boy, I've got some good advice. Oh, not gonna be. Oh, dude. Matthew McConaughey. Boy, I've got some good advice. Also, let us decide, you know. Boy, I've got some good advice.

You know why? Because I was in Interstellar. These actors and fucking musicians do it. Boy, I've got some good advice. You know why? I was in Sahara. Boy, I've got some good advice. You know why?

I was in 10 Things to Lose About a date or whatever the fuck that movie is. 10 ways to kill a man on a date or whatever the fuck it is. I got some good advice. You know why? I was in fucking happy and dazed or whatever the fuck. Dazed and confused. Happy and dazed, dude. I was in confused and deluded man well i got some good advice

so went back in time and saved the world right there let's do it again went back in time and saved the world and that's in that went to the future and saved the world right here boy i've got some good advice went to the future saved all of mankind came back and started talking so my college roommate samuel monroe wills hey dude his whistle of the s dude it's like the fucking pedophile and family guy with the dog home for a christmas break and he was at his great grandpappy's house oh man really milking the texas shit with the grandpappy mr monroe wills was 94 years old and he's it's so texan to be so old too you know like it's so texan to be like yeah and he was 94 years old man boy and boy he survived a lot of shit man and i'll tell you too he drew he

chewed tobacco every single day since he was nine and i think he just fucking got by with willpower, you know. I think he beat cancer just with his mind. He said, can you give me some advice for life? And his granddad says, oh yeah. Also, this story is such utter horseshit. None of these people exist. I mean, you know.

Well, let's listen to it uninterrupted. I'm sorry about interrupting it. Boy, I've got some good advice. Boy. Started it with boy. So my college roommate, Samuel Monroe Wills, was filming us. In the home.

Three names. For Christmas break. And he was at his great-grandpappy's house. So drunk. His great-grandpappy. So drunk. Mr. Monroe Wills was 94 years old. And he said, Grandpappy, he said, can you give me some advice for life?

And his grandpappy says, oh yeah, Monty. The best advice I can give you is this. Acting, acting. I've had many crises in my life. Most of them never happened. He walked away, dude.

He should have moonwalked. I mean, that would be the only fucking more cocksucker thing. Oh, dude. What does it mean? I know what it means, but what does it mean, dude? Most of them never happen. Dude, this is an insane person loves to hear the sound of his voice unbelievable dude

none of this ever happened at all none of it happened at all that's the best part i've got some good advice so my college roommate samuel monroe, went home for a Christmas break. And he was at his great-grandpappy's house. He was a great-grandpappy. Mr. Monroe Wills was 94 years old. And he said, can you give me some advice for life? And his grandpappy says, oh, yeah, Monty. Jay-Z.

Best advice I can give you is this. Jay-Z! I've had many crises in my life. Most of them never happened. Jay-Z, dude. Most of them never happened. Bill Clinton. Dude.

That's actually very powerful. So, yeah, but dude, that's crazy, man. Matthew McConaughey, always wearing the same fucking thing. Dude, how much did he fucking film 40 of these in 2018? And he's rolling them out, dude. Wow, man. He's just rolling them out, and he forgets about them for months at a time. He's like, why don't we post one of those?

You know what we got to start doing more of is posting more of those things when I wore that Americana outfit, right? Because we need to get on that, man. I really think that could be something, you know? Where do you go? You know where I would tell those bullshit stories? You know? Unbelievable, dude.

Matthew McConaughey loves to hear himself. I've never heard... Actors are fucking so annoying, huh, man? Imagine going to dinner with fucking Matthew McConaughey, Tom Cruise, like Mel Gibson and fucking, you know, I don't know, Denzel or something. You would be like, oh, for fuck's sake, dude. Hey, guys, shut the fuck up, huh? Hey, guys, real quick.

You guys are all fucking complete assholes um anyway well i got some good advice i should talk to you guys about this man my fucking uh so you know me dude i'm not really into drugs and shit i don't do drugs i got this company that fucking sent me some cbd shit and they were like try this shit we're fans i was like i'll try it what does it help with and they were like it helps with anxiety helps with fucking um they know i have restless leg syndrome and they know the only thing that

helps my restless leg syndrome you know know, is squirting, right? I got to squirt and then it goes, it fucking releases some serotonin. I squirt, I go to bed. I can't, my legs, it's like I'm dancing, like I'm in footloose, right? Before I go to, I can't go to sleep because my legs are activated. But if I squirt, it's fine. I don't want to squirt all the time though, dude. You know what I mean?

So they're like, start taking this CBD every day. You won't have restless leg syndrome. I was like, bullshit. Did it? Gone, dude. It took a few weeks. Restless leg syndrome? Gone. I drop it under my tongue. Gone, dude. I don't need to squirt. I can squirt if I want to, but now I'm just squirting for fun. Besides that, gone. I don't need to squirt if I want now i'm squirting not for function for fun all right anxiety level down dude all right and your boys had bumps in the road but boy he's smooth on the

fucking you know it's like he's got one of those lexuses right just fucking yeah i feel the bumps but do they really matter lift the tongue up drop it under and i got some gummies roll them if i need it you know right so i was talking to this company and it really helped my restless leg syndrome and it leveled down my anxiety so what i want to do is i want to tell you guys that you i'll put the link under below, but click it, look at their website. If you deal with any of these fucking issues, there's so many, you know, people say shit like it cures cancer, which I don't know if that's horseshit or not, but all I can tell you is for me, restless leg syndrome, I don't have to squirt anymore. I'm squirting for fun, not function, and also anxiety level down. So you can click the link, and then you get a 10% off code, and it's congrats there.

So I'll put the URL under it. I don't know, man. It's just like I fucking – dude, life is hard and shit, and I just wanted it to be fucking nice. hard and shit and i just wanted it to be fucking nice and it's it's it's like you know i really think mental health is is is is very important and sometimes the day gets the best of you do it and i just wanted i was like at a loss i was like fine i don't like but this the kind i use doesn't have any thc in it it just has fucking cbd so it's awesome anyway um you guys should try it. So go to the link and use it and you can get shit off and congrats. And anyway, that's that. Life's hard.

But it's all good though, isn't it? Life does get hard, doesn't it? Can't see. I wonder if it'll help for my seeing. if it'll help for my seeing. This fucking Jeremy Fragrance, dude, is just insane. I can't do shit.

Is this guy, like... How long does a guy like this... So, the smell of bread. Oh, it smells so good. You know, it's bread. Like this guy eats bread. The smell of bread. Like this so good You know it's bread Like this guy eats bread The smell of bread Like this guy eats fucking bread dude How does bread smell He looks like one of those

Fucking muscle mannequins How does bread smell In bio class Well this already Went bad This is honestly What you Imagine yourself

Tied up With like gagged Kidnapped And you know he's gonna kill you This is the shit he says The smell of bread Oh the smell of bread Bread

Oh this Look at all this bag of bread And you're just like Right here You know your life's gonna end Within 25 minutes It smells deep, rich, earthy. No, you're gonna die. Like, hey guy.

Oh, there's a bun smell. Oh, just dead in fucking 18 minutes. Just made it... Oh. Stuffing his face with the bread. You know you're dead. More like paper, kind of. Okay, you know you're dead in nine minutes. Straight up. So, if I would have to describe the smell of bread... Takes out a knife, just. It would be.

Audition tape. This was the audition tape for his Hannibal Lecter. They're doing a remake, and this is the audition tape. Deep, rich, earthy. Oh, and there was jump rope. Bing! So bitch the way he's doing it, dude! So, the smell of bread. Oh, it smells so good.

This is the audio that took out. The smell of bread. Look at this, guys. How does bread smell? How does bread smell? You haven't eaten in three days, and you know you're gonna die in 90 minutes. This already went bad. Whoa.

It smells deep, rich, earthy. And the music in the back. This is the most Euro trash video I've ever seen in my life. He's so high on ecstasy. And they don't even use molly anymore. It's a throwback. More like paper, kind of. So, if I would have to describe the smell of bread the jump roping thing is the thing that seals the deal

it would be i mean so stale the bread why deep rich earthy no that was weird how could it be any weirder oh that's how just fucking that guy how long does a guy like that have you know you got to keep up in the game that's why you got to hand it to fucking uh dj khaled it's like you can't really be famous for the shit anymore you got to be famous for the personality like like like kanye is not famous for his fucking, for anything but being Kanye, you know, Drake has to do a fucking, what's that song? Hotline Bling. You know, his music's fine, but did you listen to his last album? Could you name one song? I can't. He's got to do being memes and shit. You got to get to that level where you're just in memes. You know what I'm

talking about? Otherwise you ain't shit, dude. Ryan Reynolds had a new fucking show came out, nobody gives a fuck. You know? You gotta be in memes, bro. You gotta be a fucking meme god. You gotta have a picture like this and have a meme with it and be like, when your son takes your tomatoes.

Or whatever the fuck, dude. Otherwise, you ain't shit, dude. Fame is old unless you're, like, you can be Harrison Ford or, you know, you can, you know, anybody like Will Smith, who was the last movie star, Leonardo DiCaprio, maybe Ryan Gosling is working, maybe him. But Ryan Gosling, he's got to keep going.

Like, this Barbie movie, if it tanks, which, you know, I guess it won't because it's barbie but if it tanks bro uh what's his name ryan gosling you gotta he gotta get meme level famous man that's what happened to you know keanu reeves or some shit the people started talking about him on the internet you got to be meme level dude anyway chris rock said no he's not going to fucking do the oscars anymore they asked him to come back to host it of course and he said no um and i think that that's good chris rock says he was invited to host 2023 oscars

and he turned the offer down um he told a crowd in phoenix stand-up show that he was offered to return to the oscars in 2023 and he said no um yeah i don't know man i guess that's cool i don't know man i mean well of course they want him to do it you know the ratings this is this is the shit i'm talking about it needs to you need to level up the shit nobody's watching the oscars because fucking francis mcdormand was in a movie where she walked around a park for two and a half hours. You know, you got to fucking like nobody gives you shit. You're not even giving awards to the people that the movies are fucking watching. Right.

Give nine awards to Chris Evans. Right. Give nine awards to fucking Marf Ruccolo or what? You're not giving fucking nine awards to goddamn Zendaya? Then nobody gives a fuck. Oh, whoa, that's cool. The fucking, the lady from the help, she was in a movie and she's going to be, you know, oh, you're giving her, nobody gives a fuck, right?

Oh, Cate Blanchett played another queen. Oh, she played someone ugly by putting glasses on. Let's get her, give her a nomination. And some French guy that's black because he's fucking, you know. Oh, nobody gives a fuck. Give Denzel Washington, no, not even. Give fucking, it's got to be, you got to give Zendaya all the awards. Otherwise, nobody gives a fuck.

Nobody cares, dude. Nobody's watching the Oscars. You got to let some, you want someone to watch the Oscars, let a kangaroo loose on fucking stage and murder Meryl Streep. Views, fucking. Otherwise, no views dude Make a challenge Do a fucking kangaroo kill star challenge

This Oscar Meryl Streep is getting let She's gonna present best actress With a kangaroo We give the kangaroo A bunch of barbed wire and just see what happens. Gong, gong, gong, gong, gong.

Just Meryl Streep all cut up. Nobody's watching this shit. I mean, like, nobody gives a fuck about the Oscars when there's chicks shaking their fucking shits on TikTok. Right? All the chicks with the fucking just, it's starting every video like this.

Hey, guys. Dude, every video, the chicks from Instagram Reels, they start the video like this. Hey guys. So their tits fucking bounce, you know? And you're just like, wait, what? They're talking about what? Hey guys, I'm on to you.

You know? Hey guys. So I saw the movie. Nope. And here's my review. And you're like, all right, well, let's see. Let's see. Maybe I'll see that movie movie Or I think that's what I care about here So I don't know I don't think that fucking Chris Rock

You know Honestly 40 million dollars that's what I do it for Otherwise not into it For him too he's got more money than fucking god so whatever jesus died with no money but you know what i mean bro this guy is you know how they say this guy at the ball game the guy fucking sticks a pen in the middle of a fucking hot dog through it

and then sticks his hot dog in the beer and drinks it out of a like it's a straw the beer the hot dog bro hey guy you're the grossest guy in the world wearing a plaid new york yankees hat this is the grossest thing i've ever seen in my life. And doing it like it's something to do. With the black fucking hand that dunks on. Of course someone's recording this. Like right away I would be like, what the fuck's this guy doing? Ew, dude.

Hot dog beer. It's gross, dude. Everyone's's so gross you ever see someone you ever look at someone's lips like for real like when they're talking like outside in the summer you're just like ew it's all pink in their fucking mouth and shit ew dude um Oh, dude. Here's something that just was the most like... Shaggy and Scooby-Doo. Bust him. They answer Shaggy and Scooby-Doo, and then Pat Sajak thinks it's good to do a fucking Scooby-Doo impression. That's crazy.

That's crazy. I have just one thing to say to you. Oh, wow. Looked in his eyes and did it. That's $ That's crazy I have just one thing to say to you Oh wow Looked in his eyes and did it If he did that to me straight up I'd be like this I'm sorry

It was a fucking guttural thing I don't know I'm so sorry Pat Sajak I've only got one thing to say to you Oh my god Mr. Sajak Just I've only got one thing To say to you Or Or Oh my god Mr. Sajak I'm so sorry I just

I don't need my $8,000 I'm gonna go Or Or Just fucking pop him like that In his ear Here we go Ow

I'm sorry You should have done that Goddamn Scooby-Doo impression I am My bad I don't need my $8,000 So you wanna be a rock superstar Live large Work hard I don't need my $8,000. So you want to be a rock superstar?

Live large. One time I was doing like this. I was doing like this in school. I was bouncing up and down in my seat at school. It was in fucking science class. I was going like this. And the guy behind me said, what are you sitting on? And I fucking always think of that. Dude, and I always think of that man because he

got me good dude i was bouncing and he was acting like i was fucking jumping on something you know what i mean can't say because it'll age restrict me here on youtube but did i not talk about this manateo doc i already did manateo i did already wow one fire fucking super one fire throwing out topics already did can't see shit shit. All good, dude. All right. Let's do some deserved scales. Let's see what the deserved scale is on these here. Got a bunch of them here. Sharing a drink over a balcony doesn't work out perfectly.

Here we go. Oh, wow. Okay. So two chicks in bikinis. And you know when that's going to happen, it's trouble. Especially if one of their bags is a zebra print. So guys, let's see what happens. Let's go back to it.

Oh! She's pretty enough. Oh, shit, dude. Killed her. The guy's name is Austin. Okay, hold on a second, dude. This chick just goes like this Obviously a position she's been in plenty before

And she is Waiting for a guy to pour a drink From the balcony to her And he's using a fucking One of those igloo things With the things you press like this and fill it with water And it's huge It's one of those Gatorade things

That players dump the coach over the Super Bowl. That's how big it is. And the guy just basically goes to dump it and just drops the whole thing on her head. Let's watch this again. She's pretty in there, though. Oh, it just goes thump. She's so drunk. Her reaction time is absolutely Oh! Ooh, it just goes thump. She's so drunk. Her reaction time is absolutely minimal, dude.

She just goes like this. Gunk! Like, from two stories up. Oh, man, it was so heavy. It's so filled with liquid, right? And then the guy goes, Austin? Dude, wow. A guy named Austin?

Every man named Austin. 80% of Austins have done something stupid like this. Austin! Austin. Every man named Austin. 80% of Austins have done something stupid like this. Best part is at the very end, dude. He said, alright, let's go get more. Just no regard for this fucking chick. Watch it. This is the very end. Alright, let's go get more.

Oh, my God. Austin. Such a dick. Cold-hearted dick, dude. Gives Austin shit for doing it. All right, let's go get more. Let's go bonk some chicks on the head more with some more fucking. Dude, this is. Honestly, she didn't really deserve more. Let's go bonk some chicks on the head more with some more fucking... Dude, this is...

Honestly, she didn't really deserve that, so I can't say deserve it scale for her, but still was high hilarity, so let's give it a five. I mean, she shouldn't be. She was drunk, so let's not be looking up at strangers doing this. Anytime you're looking up at strangers doing that,

you're in for a big hurt, okay? So that's a five out of the deserve it scale. What to do when... Here's another one. What to do when a, here's another one. What to do when a hognose snake bites you? Okay. What could it mean? Let's listen and watch. Here we go.

So everybody in the comments I noticed was asking, what do you do when she bites you? Oh, fuck. This is Sunflower, my hognose. She's a red albino. And she just likes to bite me all the time. See? Oh, fuck. Taking the snake out. You bit him. Why are you letting it bite you? Oh, God. like that and you kind of she's chewing on my knuckle though that really hurts but normally to get her off oh god went up a whole octave scale normally oh she's really on there though

oh oh she's really on me this time oh god hold on i mean what is the face take two normally this is a lot easier she's still on my finger oh my god the fucking white, what is the face? Take two. Normally, this is a lot easier. She's still on my finger. Oh, my God. The fucking white face. What is it? A mask that he's doing? What is he doing? A fucking cleansing mask?

Maybe that's why. Dude, don't. Honestly, don't have a snake, dude. I used to do a bit about this on my stand up, and I just don't really do it anymore. But just don't have a snake, dude. Like, what are you doing? Let him fucking out, man. One of the jackasses just like with the snake like Britney Spears.

Hey, guys. Remember that guy who used to come to the school? So a little bit about snakes, and he's always wearing tan for some reason. A little bit about snakes, and this is actually not dangerous. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

Move from back there. Move from back there. You want to stay in front of him so a little bit about snakes hold on hold on okay so he's got jimmy here's another deserve it scale uh standing on the rope during tug of war wow dude already a 10 with the title. Oh, he spun around like a ragdoll, dude. I mean, 19 people are holding it. Oh, he spun around, thought he was going to get

a nice fucking 360. Did a fucking 1240. Oh, the guy went around like a fucking ragdoll, dude. Looks like he got hit by a car. Pew! Ooh! He probably, it doesn't look like he,

I mean, there's always chicks ruining the video with screaming and shit. Chicks are always ruining it and shit. I'm surprised she didn't do it selfie mode too, so we missed a lot of it. That's a seven out of ten honestly standing on the fucking rope here we go what was the plan that's an already funny title here we go here we go here we go here we go guy in all yellow first of all all yellow somewhere

like i don't know where the let's guess where this is this is in africa i don't know where it is oh no oh my god that's not okay that is not that is a that is a sad that guy had such a promising career for any fucking... I mean, the guy literally looked like the fastest man alive and then just ran face first into a fucking Dodge Intrepid. Oh, my God, dude. Just...

Just so... Oh, my fucking God, dude. Just so fast into a fucking Astrovan. Holy shit, dude. I cannot believe that one of the guys from Cool Runnings did that. That is unbelievable. All right, here we go. I mean, that's not, I don't even, we don't rate that one because don't ever try that.

That's horrible. Okay, trying to challenge a referee in a boxing match. Holy shit. The worst song of all time. This was good. Oh, we bodys... Oh, wow, we bodyslammed him. Oh, wow, the ref just went nuts.

Oh, dude. Wow, that guy. This is the worst song of all time. Nice. Oh, threw him down and goes... Like, threw deuces up. Like a fucking G, dude. This guy...

This ref is a fucking G, dude. Been spending most our lives Living in the gangster's paradise. Been spending most our lives. I sing good. All right, dude. Let's look at some Tinders, man. Let's see how shitty people are on Tinder. Dude, Tinder's terrible. Hey, how's it going? Suck it. You know? All right, here we go. Here's one. Want to make a pillow fort and make out? I've literally, I've probably said the same thing to somebody.

What happened to hello? How are you? The person says. Then the guy says, am I crazy for thinking that opening is bland compared to my cool, am I crazy for thinking that opening is bland compared to my cool badass opening involving the creation of a high-tech fortress? Wow. What a loser. You matched.

My favorite part about this is you matched with Ebony. Tinder. Here we go. Next one. Good thing my jaw hurts. Fuck yeah, dude. Jaw hurts. Yes.

Can't even see. Fucking can't even see dude red flags i don't like velcro wallet no sauce with nuggets i'm all there no sauce with nuggets bro that's me fucking we wouldn't get along dating female best friend never that uh likes andrew tate make some good points um What is your stance on Velcro shoes Andrew Tate is a twat that's understandable Like just female best friend Or female friends in general What about green flags I mean this guy is just taking it way too seriously bro

You lost from jump man Just go ha ha hang She says I don't know Prob is going to be a no to velcro shoes too female friends are okay if you don't have a history and there are boundaries but it depends he says i'm a little curious as to why no velcro is so i mean that guy has velcro shoes you know guy has fucking the most velcro yes shoes that have ever lived like has so many fucking like has so many different pairs and they have four straps, each of them.

I'm a little curious as to why no Velcro is so high. That's understandable if they have a complicated or had a previous relationship. I've only got platonic female friends anyway. She says, props because they all friend zoned you. I bet you should hit if given the chance. She says, ah, interesting response. I think this is where the conversation ends. Best of luck in your future Tinder endeavors. Is there more or no?

Is that it? Wow, this guy got fucking walked away in his Velcro shoes. Wow, that guy's so stung off the Velcro shoe shit. Why? What's up with Velcro shoes, dude? Well, fucking. You still thinking about them? All right, here we go. Another one. why what's up with velcro shoes dude while fucking you still thinking about them alright here we go another one

tinder really shocks me but this guy alright my name is Chad and I don't give a fuck I wouldn't mind pounding you from behind sometime this week you know of all the fucking names Chad yeah we know Chad I don't give a fuck oh yeah

my name is chad and i don't give a fuck i wouldn't mind pounding you from behind some time this week i can't wait till the future catches up with everyone and people who run for president have fucking messages like this well we kind of did that already uh thanks chad nice to meet you too i mean why are you responding he says you schizophrenic or something i said i wanted to pound you not nice to meet you holy shit yes you're correct i'm schizophrenic he says honestly not surprised at all i'll still pound you once, then ghost you after, so just text me. Then they say, wow, you really drive a hard bargain. And he says, not like you offer anything of substance besides that wet box

and don't know when to shut the fuck up and bring me two coffees. Oh, dude, why two? Such a dick. Hey, guy. Change. And then she says, I can tell you're extremely intelligent. He says, good thing nobody ever gave a shit about what women thought like ever, LOL. The guy's horrible.

And he says, oh, yeah, thank God nobody does, LOL. She says, wow. Oh oh there's more unreal okay but wait there's more uh okay he says oh yeah nobody does lol he says you're gonna shut the fuck up and text me or keep wasting my time i mean he's the one talking about all this shit. He says, I think I'm probably not going to test you, but I wish you luck in finding a woman dumb enough to put up with your god-awful and borderline frightening attitude. He says, nobody gives a shit what you think, so shut the fuck up. Jesus Christ. I mean, so angry, dude.

Nobody likes a disagreeable woman. If I want to date a man, I'll go on Grindr. You'll die alone. Cheers. Ah, so shitty and then so nice with the cheers. nobody likes a disagreeable woman, if I want to date a man, I'll go on Grindr, you'll die alone, cheers, ah, so shitty, and then so nice with the cheers, so he says,

have you ever heard of Andrew Tate, I bet you'd really love his contact, he says, fuck off, go bother someone else, and stop wasting my time, Jesus Christ, dude,

it's so much energy to be that shitty, you know, just going on to be shitty energy to be that shitty, you know? Just going on to be shitty. So mad, that guy. I guess love doesn't need a language. Here we go. I'm yawning because I'm me.

All right, here we go. Hey, how are you? Hola. English? Español. English. Someone says, Español. hey how are you hola english espanol english someone says espanol and they say sex they say si wow so simple um i wonder if they thought they meant like what sex are you si that's a great slam if you're honestly Mexican and somebody asks you that. Did the love language one. Didn't mark it off.

Here we go. Win for the short guys. Wow. I'm about to climb. Okay, here we go. I limit the age to 30. If I didn't, I wouldn't get, I would get, if I didn't,

I would get so many 20 year olds. They aren't very fun. All they want is to do is fuck like a rabbit. I guess that's what the woman's saying. He says, yeah, there's a huge difference. I mean, I still want to fuck like a rabbit,

but I want to do other things too. Exactly. How tall are you? That's good, dude. That's good that he said, I still want to do that, but you know,

um, how tall are you? He says five, five six if that's too short for you it's fine lol she says seriously lol i'm six one he says i know some women have preferences and i oh wow i really would be like a rabbit fucking you. Um, and then she says, I just tend to get really short guys wink. And then he says, well, are you down for it? Because I'm still taller than you on your back and or knees. She says, you're so funny. When and where are you thinking? Is there more?

When and where are you thinking, dude? The guy's short, but he'd really be spitting that game Hey, what's up? A little ruby like a rubble Wow, that's amazing, dude Guy killed it, see? Personality is killer, dude The guy was funny as shit

I really would be like a rabbit fucking you Here we go, here's another one Oh, here we go go click to see because it's not safe for work hey how's it going oh hey just planting too many seeds for too small a garden lol wow that's funny as shit actually i love that i need to do the same he's and then he say i can't stop buying heirloom tomatoes okay so boring getting on the boring side but uh then they say fuck i love fresh tomatoes with salt or fresh mozzarella and basil that would make me calm that would make me calm dude ruined it well it did spice things up though Oh tomato with salt makes me cum dude

What's up tomatoes We got salt on it Yeah Oh wow that's so good man Love that one Alright guys well that's it for congratulations this week I really appreciate you guys I'm out dude I'm out,

dude. I'm out, and I will be in Washington D.C. and Atlanta. It's sold out. And then I will be in Stockton, California. And then I will also be in Oakland, California. And then I will be in Peoria and Rockford, Illinois, for some reason. I'm going to go do this.

I'm going to eat some Spectrum, some Pure Spectrum gummies. That's a CBD I was telling you about. So going over to Pure Spectrum, going over to the link below on my comments and put in the code congrats for your 10% off this. It helped me

with my Rostock's leg syndrome and my anxiety. So you guys are great, dude. Thank you very much and I really appreciate you. Keep listening and subscribe and like Hey guys, that's it for YouTube. Thanks for listening and thanks for watching. And if you want to catch the rest of the episode, the Raw, the Uncut episode, the ad-free episode,

all you got to do is go on over to the Patreon, patreon.com slash chrisdalia. And it's $6 a month. And for that, you get behind the scenes footage of my tour you get discord you also get a discord where we chat you also get an episode an extra episode a month right now I think there's like 16 on there so if you get it now you binge all

those 16 so that's patreon.com slash Chris D'Elia and thanks you guys are great