Congratulations with Chris D'Elia - 274. Code Of Silence

Episode Date: September 22, 2022

Get tickets to Lifeline LIVE at watchlifeline.com! 🎟 Catch the uncensored/extended episodes ad/commercial free +1 entire bonus episode per month + Discord & exclusive content over on Patreon: patreon.com/chrisdelia 👉 Thank you Shipstation! Sign up using promo code CONGRATS for a FREE 60-day trial today at ShipStation.com. 👉 10% off Pure Spectrum CBD, use code CONGRATS at checkout purespectrumcbd.com This week Chris has something to say about the new Little Mermaid movie, The Queen's Funeral, and how to be savvy with technology. Plus a complete tear down of the film F9! Spread the love using the hashtag #congratulationspod on Instagram and everywhere else, and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app. 📸 Instagram: instagram.com/chrisdelia 🕺 TikTok: tiktok.com/@chrisdelia 🎮 Twitch: twitch.tv/flexavenue 🐥 Twitter: twitter.com/chrisdelia 👤 Facebook: facebook.com/chrisdeliaofficial Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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That's BetterHelp.com. Meeting with friends before the show? We can book your reservation. And when you get to the main event, skip to the good bit using the card member entrance. Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card, other conditions apply. Runk. Hello guys and welcome to yet another episode of congratulations It's yet another episode of congratulations and And we are, you know, we're just kicking it. We're having a good time. Hey, like and subscribe. I know it just started, but why don't you just do us a little favor.

And like and subscribe. We're trying to grow the followers here on Super Cult Studios. We've got more podcasts coming out. Lots of things in the works. But that's what's up, dude. And we love that. And thank you very's up dude and we love that and uh thank you very much for watching and subscribing and liking and commenting and also uh the bell notification shits and all that stuff um we have a very cool announcement oh there are those shoes

they're right under the i fucking couldn't find them great knew it and also i have great so these shoes right here the new New Balance right here. Like them. Had them here last episode. Took them off during the episode. A little behind the scenes just so you know. They've been there. Put them under the desk.

Took them off during the episode. Left. Saw them as I was leaving. I was like, I got to remember mentally. I'll check that in that these shoes are there in case I want to wear them before next week. Completely forgot about it. And now i'm seeing them now should have worn the shoes didn't get to wear shoes this week because my brain fucking forgot about it and it's all good though dude we live and we learn and we move on in life we fucking roll with the punches and we we grow as people we grow as humans and um

yeah but we've got a cool announcement uh not, not sure if you're a fucking, uh, viewer of my other podcast lifeline on here at super cult studios with my brother, where we give advices on, uh, video submissions, but we are doing a lifeline live episode. Um, and you can get your tickets now. Uh, we'll put them in the show notes under here, but it's also on the comments and the show notes under the Lifeline thing. You can go to watch, what is it? WatchLifeline.com? Yep, go to WatchLifeline.com and

sign up to be a, you can call in and we talk to you. It's not just video submissions. So it's live, anything could happen, so go check it out and stuff. So yeah, that's Lifeline Live and that's uh how it's going and then we got the other uh oh the winners of the jackets got their jackets the life

rips jackets you got your bomber jackets uh and people been asking about them these are special jackets the 10 people who got them as winners i made a different version a colorful version which you can see right here boom um that are going to be for sale it's definitely limited edition but you can go to chrislea.com and for uh to get these jackets while they last i'm not going to make more um but yeah because i know people were asking and uh so yeah a limited edition and then also other stuff at merch. Go peruse, you know, eat the brown shits. You know what I mean?

We got them right here. So, yeah, you guys, speaking of cool clothing, look what I got right here. Gap Yeezy, Gap slash Yeezy Balenciaga. And I'm wearing it because Kanye says he's done with Gap and he's done with Adidas and he's trying to have Adidas buy him out for a billion dollars.

Apparently he said they offered him a billion dollars to buy him out so he could just continue doing Yeezy himself without the aid or in joint conjunction with Adidas. And they said a billion dollars he said no he wants two billion

imagine making that kind of shit dude he kind of put i i apparently like 60 percent of adidas shoes sold are yeezys this is a bullshit thing that i heard i'm not sure if it's true or not but if that is true that's unbelievable that's a lot of i mean he definitely put adidas back he helped put this back in a map before that they had the shell toes and it was the epmd and that was back in the 80s and 90s and now you know adidas wasn't really kicking up until yeezy it was kicking a little bit then yeezy started and then it really started kicking and it's been yeezy and nike and now a little bit new balance after um that basketball player uh um fucking what's his name what's his name kawaii leonard

whoops didn't didn't want to do whoops whoops whoops whoops whoops gonna get demonetized all right uh didn't even mean to do that but that's him wow dude um anyway so uh attack um he's a robot so uh it's all good he's a robot and um if you were like my son he'd be like i am a robot my son acts like he's a robot and if you were like my son he'd be like I am a robot my son acts like he's a robot so much it's unbelievable because he likes the intergalactic planetary another dimension bc boys video and my son keeps saying interlactic planetary

another mention another mention and it's so fucking cute you don't like me talking about my son eat your heart out Planetary. I know I mentioned I know I mentioned and it's so fucking cute. You don't like me talking about my son? Eat your heart out. You don't like me talking about my son? Eat your hearts out. So and go teleport to I know I mentioned. So yeah. So

honestly things have been good and I'm wearing this shit. R.I.P. Balenciaga Yeezy Gap shit. But I got one of the fucking only shit that you you know, it's all a publicity stunt, dude. He's just saying this shit and then he's going to come out with a fucking partnership with Gap and Adidas again and it's going to last till 2050. Because you got to fucking stay relevant and you stay relevant by making headlines. And you make headlines by being bipolar and acting crazy so uh i need to start doing that fucking being bipolar and acting crazy a little bit a

little bit more you know like i i was in the fucking they picked up some article picked up when i fucking tried to fight my doctors when i got my uh deviated septum fixed needed need to fucking start fighting more doctors and shit or just kind of like cut ties with companies that don't even fucking exist that i fucking don't even have a thing with whatever i don't know what i'm saying what i do know is i'm fucking i went to i went to my show at the improv this past week and uh i was there and i got a fucking, you know, on my keys, I have the AirTag shit. Like to always, if I need to know where my keys are, I can't find my keys. And also my wife loses shit a lot.

So like, I'll just, I'll tap it and it'll really look beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. I'm like, oh, I go find the AirTag. Where is it? Oh, for some reason it's under a book. Like nobody in this house has read a book in nine fucking nine years and she's just it's in the middle of a fucking book about mental health or some shit and um and so i get the key with the air tag i you know and then i go and i drive so i got them on all my keys i got them on the fucking keys i got keys for days i got them on my keys right right? You know, I got fucking all the sets of keys.

David Sullivan, as you know, he's one of my friends. I talk about him a bit on the podcast. He's like, hey, man, what are we doing tonight? So I'm like, all right, let's go. I got to show at the improv, be here at 930. He says, I'm out, be there. You want me to come at 920? And I was like, just no, I got therapy till nine, show up at fucking, you know, show up at 915, how about it? And he's like, I'll be there,

man. So shows up, doggy to see Calvin. Calvin's a night owl, right? So he's up. Sometimes Calvin stays up till 11, no lie. Whatever works with my schedule, that's what the pediatrician says and that works with my schedule. So if you're mad at me for being a bad parent, be mad at my pediatrician. And so he's like, shows up, sees Calvin. Calvin's walking around like a robot. Hey, you're a robot, huh?

So he's like, all right, let's go. So we go now. I don't know if you know this about AirTags, but it's actually a all right, let's go. So we go now. I don't know if you know this about AirTags, but it's actually a cool feature. Okay. If you're around an AirTag for about 20 minutes, an AirTag will let you know. Okay. Meaning if it's not your AirTag.

So if you were in a backpack and someone takes an AirTag from Apple and tosses it into that little compartment on the side that nobody uses except for fucking tech tax, but who, you know what I mean? Uh, and it's on you for more than 20 minutes. Your phone will go off and let you know there's an AirTag near you. And then this way, you know, somebody's either tracking you or whatever the fuck. Right. And I think that that's a great feature. All right. Now everyone, if you look at your phone and what it literally says is an air tag, an unknown air tag is near you. Click to disable. Okay. That's all you got to, that's all you look at that and you think, oh, okay. And now if you're alone in the woods, a hundred percent, you click disable. If you're at the mall alone, you're a hundred percent click disable. Okay. If you're somewhere where you shouldn't be. You 100% click disable. Okay? Now, if you're chilling with your friends, what do you think you do?

Ignore it. Because anyone can get Apple AirTags and you think, you know what? This is probably Bob's AirTag. So, ignore it. Okay. Now, how savvy do you have to be to know to ignore that or to see the thing on the phone and think, you know, it's probably fucking it's Kristen's or Bob's or fucking Jared's or whatever the fuck. Right. Not that savvy.

Right. If you're 74 and my mom, she might be like, Chris, from the other room. Chris, what is this? Oh, it's fine. Just fucking, it's dad's, you know, it's to dad's fucking, it's to the dog or whatever. Don't worry. Okay. Right.

I'm 42. And I know it's hard to believe because I look fucking young. And we know that's a joke because I looked at myself on the Zoom camera the other day. No, it was today for when I was in my therapy, and I looked absolutely 49, and it's all good, but I look 49. It's all good, but it's the truth. It's all good. How do I look?

49, and it's all good, okay, and it's all good. Now, do I wish that I had fucking salt and pepper also in my hair here because I don't like the way it looks? Yes, it's all good. Yes, it's fine, dude. Am I look? It's all good. Okay. And it's all good. Now, do I wish that I had fucking salt and pepper also in my hair here? Because I don't like the way it looks. Yes. Is it all good? Yes. It's fine, dude. Am I aging the way I should be aging?

Yes. And do people on the internet say, whoa, he got old. And is it okay? Yes. Because I'm fucking 42 and nobody says I'm forever. And that's okay. It's all good. Those are my feelings.

No, it's fine. But every now and then I look at myself in the Zoom camera. It's bad lighting. And yes, I look bad and I feel bad. Okay. But that's neither here nor there no so if you're in your 40s you're pretty savvy with the online shits you're pretty savvy with the apps you're pretty savvy with apple products if you have them be savvy you should be savvy especially if you're what in a big metropolitan area like los angeles

you should be somewhat savvy so we're going to the improv. And now how are we getting there? My car. And what do we use to start a car? Keys. And what's on my keys? Everyone say it with me. Air tags. I take the stage at the improv. Two minutes in. Two minutes in. Now I'm in the middle of high hilarity. Okay. It breaks my shit up. I don't know what it is. I look at my phone.

Why is my phone doing this? Phone's not doing shit. I'm clueless because I'm in the middle of a high octane thing. Right. And I say, did you guys hear that? Or was it me? Am I losing my mind? Then I decided to let it go. I get off stage. Now, obviously, fucking Crush City, population 210 people in there. And I get off stage and David's looking at me like this. Did your phone make that noise? And I was like,

yeah, what? And he was like, my phone made the noise same time your phone made the noise. Ting. I said, what are you talking about? He's like, is there an AirTag following you?

And I'm like, hey man, what? And he said, sums up my phone, man. And I was like, what are you talking about? And he said, sums up my phone, man. And I was like, what are you talking about? And he says, it said on my phone that somebody's trying to fuck and there's an air tag on my phone. And as soon as I hit the button, I disabled it. My phone went off.

Your phone went off. Ding. And I said, what? What are you? What? This is my air tag. Oh, that's the thing that made the noise, and then it dawns on me, it wasn't my phone, it was the actual AirTag in my pocket, on the fucking Audi keys, that are going, because unsavvy Texan boy,

is disabling my fucking air tag. Hey, guy. Get it. Hey, guy. Get savvy. Hey, guy. Read all the words. Do some Googling.

So then that happened, and it was all good, and I was like, well, what the fuck? That's my tag. Now you Now you disabled it I gotta see if it works for my shit He was like nah but I just What does it mean for my phone though Ting And I was like what do you mean

And he was like well I just had to disable it It should be okay right And I was like yeah it's fine We're hanging out We're still hanging out. He brings it up again. So what's up with my phone then? And I'm like, what?

And he's like, cause I just disabled it and that's all I need to do. And I was like, yeah, dude, it's fine, man. It's fine. You didn't even need to do that. And he was like, but there's nothing on my phone. And I said, no. No bullshit 15 minutes later. And he was like, so do I need to do anything?

And I said, hey, fucko. Dude, two reasons why it doesn't matter. One, you disabled it. And two, it's mine. No one's trying to fucking kidnap you, dude. It's mine. We're friends. We hang out.

You sat in my car for longer than 20 minutes. Everything's fine. He starts laughing. And obviously fucking blood red mad meter. Going off the... But it's like dude how can you be so unsavvy and also i explained it to him three times i said it's fine i literally looked at him i was like hey man you gotta relax it's all good no one's popping air tags in your fucking back pocket because they want to fucking, you know, chain up the dude from Primer. It's a movie that fucking one Sundance that he was on.

So anyway, that's how we learned about AirTags and it fucking ruined my show, but it's all good. I fucking still came with it. All good. Still came with it. Um, and I was on, I went away this weekend to a wedding with the family to St. Louis.

Congratulations to the groom and bride. You know who you are. Uh, I won't air out your business, but it was a wedding and it was beautiful. And, uh, and, um, are uh i won't air out your business but it was a wedding and it was beautiful and uh and um you know i gotta tell you man we we got the flights last minute we got southwest and we fucking were in the a

boarding group so we got good seats and shit you know? And it was so fun with Calvin and shit flying. And then we got to the wedding and we're in the wedding. The wedding was great. And it was hot in St. Louis. And then the groom was like, we should start a fire out here. And I was like, everyone's like, what? And he was like, we should put a start a fire. And I was like, oh.

And then he was like, would it be too hot? And he asked somebody and somebody before I chimed in And I was like, oh, uh, and then he was like, would it be too hot? And he asked somebody and somebody before I chimed in, they were like, oh no, go ahead. And I was, and I looked at him and I go, all right, well, I'm not going to be, I mean, it's 80 degrees, but you know, and I was sitting right near the fire and the guy's like, cool. And he went to go get matches or a fucking lighter or something. And the guy said, Hey, you know, you think it's too hot for a fire? And I said, I looked at the guy and I said, yeah, man, it's 80 hot for a fire and i said i looked at the guy and i said yeah man it's 80 degrees it's gonna be so hot and he was like uh well i don't want to tell him he's

the groom it's his day and i was like yeah all right fuck it i'm not gonna be the asshole to be like it's gonna be too hot so sat there and i was getting hot as shit dude like just straight up it was 80 degrees and now i'm sitting near a fire i backed up a little bit like i'm hot as shit i'm in a suit it sucks to have to wear a suit dude i don't know how these wall street motherfuckers do it or like people who literally wear suits but like maybe it's because i don't normally i'm not used to it but what but having to get used to something that's uncomfortable fucking sucks like i got i wear straight up casual wear you know i just saw my new balances and now i'm wearing these fucking however i don't even know what the shoes are but there's like blister city and like just my belt is on and i'm sweating i'm in st louis so it's a little bit humid and now a fire's on i'm so uncomfortable

and then i realized like holy shit i'm actually hot as fuck and super uncomfortable but i'm not being a dick about it. And I'm like, what's going on? Because usually if I'm hot and uncomfortable, everyone knows it, right? In the past, if I was hot and uncomfortable, you heard me in a corner

bitching to someone, right? And it's a fucking thing. You only have fans and lights on. Because it's a fucking thing in the summer and they'll open the fucking air on, right? Fans, you shit, fans. That's what you heard me doing. But I'm not doing that stuff.

I'm smiling, watching people get married. The fire's on, it's fine. The groom's day, whatever. I just move the seat back a little bit. And I realize, and I'm trying to be like, why do I feel straight up like just leveled out and i know i've talked about this before but i the only answer because dude i was in therapy today and like so uh interested in what the fucking therapist was talking about and i'm like like trying to actively

learn and like work on myself and i'm like what the fuck is going on and i'm talking to the therapist and and she's like well you know you were living life uh and not experiencing these feelings and now everything's open and you're experiencing these feelings because i don't you know i don't like to be alone i hate being with alone with myself she was like but you know you have to learn how to be that way otherwise you're not really an adult and i agreed with her and and i and i think that fucking dude i i did i take this cbd and i swear to god it fucking levels me the fuck out. And that's the only thing that I can fucking pinpoint to what's making me not make people's lives miserable around me. And I used to do it as comedy.

Like, yeah, fucking, you know, it's too hot. Let me make a laugh about it. And then secretly the groom would be like, ha, ha, ha, ha. But instead, he'll be like, okay, but it actually feels bad. I don't know. You know, but...

Anyway, I take this Pure Spectrum DVD... DVD. CBD. I take this Pure Spectrum Redbox. I take this Pure Spectrum CBD

and I fucking have a 10% off code for you. If you use CBD, you go click on it. It's in the show notes. But it's... You get 10% off if you click the link and go and use code congrats at checkout but um you know it's it's absolutely fucking hilarious that i i am less annoyed i guess it really makes no fucking sense i don't know but i'm not gonna argue with it

because it feels fucking fantastic i used to think about like i used to think like losing that pissed off chip on my shoulder was gonna make me not funny or not me but dude i'm me and i feel good dude granted i also take fucking citalopram but i've been doing that for a long time uh and finasteride because i think the wig's getting back a little bit but you know no no big deal um hair's fucking i think going back because it's like you know i don't know if it's scared of my eyes or what but it's like fuck fuck those eyes i did i went to a wedding in uh in st louis and uh i walked into a starbucks and i don't know what it is apparently like but like everybody in the starbucks was like hey chris delia and then the fucking these people are like

are you chris lee and then people are doing here's the thing man if you're googling me in the fucking starbucks i know you're doing it okay they're people on planes like with their fucking whole laptop like it's the like it's the nebuchadnezzar in fucking just pulling me up and shit. We got Tom Cruise in fucking 2F just like this, Googling pictures of me, like on Minority Report. Like there was a dude sitting in front of me, one row, on his computer. it wasn't even his computer it was like the laptop with the fucking bitch-ass keyboard that you attach to it like a fucking bitch dude just get the computers are so small just get a small computer don't get a that's like one of those guys who gets the truck and then gets the little fucking top cover for the back of the truck it's

like make up your goddamn mind get a a fucking minivan. Or a car. Or get a minivan or a truck. You don't get to have both. It's annoying as shit. And it's annoying if you have the fucking keyboard with the laptop, or the keyboard with the fucking iPad. You don't get to have Best of Both Worlds. What is this, fucking Jay-Z

and R. Kelly? That fucking Big Chips? That's what that album was called, of both worlds um and so uh so yeah and he's googling me he googled imaging me which is even worse because i see all these images of me and i'm like i'm literally just like this he's here and i'm just like looking at me hey guy have shame you know but so i'm at starbucks two different people are googling me and then or on my instagram or some shit and then some lady comes up to me and i'm with calvin and calvin's like drinking his juice and shit and she was like hi i know you. Um, and I don't want to bother you when you're with your kid. Um, but can you take a, can we take a picture? And I was like,

look, just come up and ask for a picture, you know, just say, Hey, can I get a picture? Because first of all, let me just tell you right now, I don't hate when people come up and ask me for a photo. That's awesome. I love it. I appreciate you. And a lot of people, I think they mistake my fucking humor and my, my, I don't give a fuck attitude with, um, with, uh, oh, he doesn't want me to approach him. That couldn't be further from the truth. I always enjoy when somebody comes up and says something. And if, you know, if it's nice. And so, and so I don't hate it, but you're, you think I do. Okay. So you think I hate it and also you're still doing it. So that's one, right? That's, that's one. That's like, it actually, it doesn't bother me, but just on the books,

shitty, shitty behavior, right? On the books. Let's just, if you wrote it down, he hates this and I did it. Okay. Check mark, shitty behavior. Okay. Jerk, asshole, whatever behavior okay a jerk asshole whatever the fuck i'm sure she's a nice lady like i get was was nice in her tone then she says i don't want to interrupt you and your kid but as busy bone would say pardon my motherfucking interruption but can i interrupt you with your kid? So two textbook shittinesses. I think people feel like they have to say shit and then they end up saying too much. It's like a crook when they get fucking cornered

and it's like, I wasn't anywhere. I was shopping with my wife on January 19th and they're like, we didn't say anything about January 19th. Clank. And so, yeah, I don't know how she drowned we didn't say she drowned that's not public knowledge yet clank so um so yeah just come up and ask for a picture and say something nice and that's all good dude but i appreciate fans i love you guys dude i love you

guys um twins came up to me and asked for a picture that's always weird two dude twins that were like fucking 30 never had that happen before they're like you playing a show here i'm like nah i'm doing i'm here for a wedding next year and they both go they both say cool thanks twins and shit twins are weird as fuck right because one of them has to be evil one of them i mean on you know i get it, I mean, you know, I get it. It's not like that simple, and it's not like cartoons, but one of them is worse, so you're the evil twin. Just know if you're a twin listening to this,

you're either the evil twin or the good twin. And if you're the evil twin and you're not taking over the world, then you failed, or at least try, you know. Try inventing something if you're fucking. If you're the worst twin, you got to try inventinging something or you're just wasting your fucking evil twin life um is are we pissed are we pissed off what by the way the world is divided with the fucking our ariel uh swimmy girl what the fuck is it little mermaid ariel swimmy girl and um she's black now which i don't give a fuck i don't care she's not real make her fucking make her a fucking chair i don't give a fuck like it doesn't bother

me at all right and so ariel is black they made her black still gave her red hair. Weird. She's not Eve. You know? So, and now, this is hilarious. So people are mad, you know, they think it's stupid. It's like, how do you fuck? Like, people talk about the sanctity of Disney. Like, we don't give a fuck. Go fuck yourself, you know? They get rid of their pride colors the fucking second the clock hits midnight

at the end of that month what is it june july i don't know and um pride month and so um yeah tinkerbell flies across and does the fucking disney swirl the second that shit hits the end of pride month midnight tinkerbell goes yeah well fuck you just fucking flies away. They shouldn't marry. Fuck it. And just flies away. And so, yeah, right.

And so, yeah, like Disney gives a fuck. So Ariel is black now. And I could give a rat's ass. But people are mad because they think like, you know, they're fucking up history, literally. You know, I assume a lot of these people are white because Ariel was drawn originally white. She also has no legs. So she's not real. She's got a fin instead of legs.

So anyway, pipe down. But I don't give a fuck. Is it annoying? The reason, yes. The reason why it's annoying is because, you know, Disney doesn't give a fuck about it, but they're doing it because they think that affects, it affects their bottom line. And so here's the deal. So they made her black, which fine.

I give a fuck, like I said, but now people are mad at that. But now people are mad at that and woke, quote unquote, people are mad that they photoshopped the black girl and she doesn't seem as black. So they lose again. My point is you can't ever be woke enough. This movement makes people, they eat their own. So you can't win. So just from now on, every Disney character, white. It doesn't matter what the fuck, white. And I'm talking about like the cricket in Pinocchio.

Now he's white. Okay. okay the trolls they're all white i know they were pink and blue and shit fucking white dude this way you don't get to be mad if oh well that one is obviously the black one because of the way it talks and he has a backwards hat on or jar jar binks he is white you know Or Jar Jar Binks, he is white. You know? Mesa privileged. And so, but I just think it's fucking, you just can't win, dude.

So just like who, you know, this whole world fucking, I don't know. Whatever. It doesn't matter. What am I? I'm the old guy now or whatever. Arielle's black. I think that she should be black. I think that everyone in that movie should be black.

And I think that it should be literally the blackest movie I've ever fucking seen. I don't know. Shit changed ever since the fucking queen died, you know? It's actually crazy that she died and was alive for so long. And they, first of all, like Britain, let's hurry it up with the funeral. You know what I mean? Like they fucking, it was like, what did they fucking wait nine weeks dude they she died and then she they had to like pass her body around or whatever the fuck play hot potato with it you know like just like they

propped her up and took some pictures with her and shit they did taxidermy on her fucking face it's like so it's like, the traditions are so annoying. There's a fucking actual in Italy. There's an actual channel on Italian TV devoted to like one of the old fucking popes or some shit. And he's been dead for years, decades. And he's just sitting there and it's a live feed,

you know, it is on TV. It's not like a Twitch channel. And, uh, like, dude, how about this, man? Like to be, think about like how annoying everybody is to not be able to be left alone. Dead. able to be left alone, dead. I know you'd have

no feeling about it either way, but like the disrespect, the utter, that is the most Italian thing of all time. Well, he dies, but we cannot put up a live stream about it. But don't you think it's disrespectful? It doesn't matter. He doesn't have it.

We need to pay respect. It's for the people. So there's a live feed of it. And you can do that. And so now it's like the queen has just finally been buried or whatever

the fuck had her. I don't know what she was but they had her what do you call it? Funeral. So, that's great. Good job. Good job, Brits. Uh, what do you think?

We should bury her about now, right? Like, a week in. Ah, we gotta, uh, well, let's wait a few days. You never know. Cousin could show up and want to see her, you know. Close her. Whatever. We need to try some other crowns on her too

before we pick the right one to bury her in. What I say, she's getting kind of... You know, it's just a bit... It's musty outside in a room for underground or what um i can't believe like the the line of waiting to see a dead person is 12 hours or no some people wait for a day, like 24 hours. Dude, to think that like sometimes like to get people in my show, it takes like an hour to get everybody seated. Like the fact that I don't have as much, people don't have the same amount of excitement to see me than they do a dead lady you know just 20 like

i ain't shit because people will wait 24 times as long to see a dead chick so fucking disrespectful to call the queen that but the truth is a dead lady then to see like my hard work so i ain't shit dude um but david beckham was there and he waited or something no he waited imagine how about that dude if they made dev david beckham wait 12 hours jesus dude i would have had to wait fucking they would have made me wait extra i'd be like i'm next and i'd be like oh just hold on david beckham's 12-hour wait to pay his respects to the queen ended in an emotional moment all the way they would have fucking made me wait i'd still be waiting she'd be buried and be like his respects to the queen ended in an emotional moment. They would have fucking made me wait. I'd still be waiting.

She'd be buried and be like, no, we'll be right with you. Didn't you? No, hold on. You were cancelled. All around the world, people have been mourning the loss of the Queen Elizabeth II who passed away at the age of 96 December. Many have been lining up to

pay their respects among the soccer superstar David Beckham. Wow, and still look goddamn ravishing all 12 hours. Like, just dressed like a fucking, just so dapper, you know?

Wow, the Britain's police hats fucking suck. You could keep a whole cake in there. The former footballer was first spotted in the queue around 2 a.m. 2 a.m.? Jesus.

I did not end up making it inside. Oh, okay. Until 3. What the fuck? This guy slept out there? What the fuck? David Beckham's life, you know? Yeah, it doesn't matter.

I'll just. He sounds fucking Australian to me, 100%. We all want to be here together. We all want to experience something. We are a celebrant. An amazing life of our queen, he said. Wow, he waited 12 hours. Wow.

The British icon also explained that he was there in honor of his... Why is he dressed like somebody from fucking Peaky Blinders, dude? That's amazing. Dude, did you guys see this the fucking lady who made here's something that needs to stop for real i thought this was a joke when i first saw it if you're uh 80 or 70 don't make a hip-hop video hey utah district listen up right. There's a new name on the ballot for the Senate this year. I mean, you know, there's a new name on the... It's so high.

Dude, it sounds crisp as shit like she did it in a fucking booth. Turn me up in the headphones. Cincy. Wow. Hey Hey Utah District 12 Listen up right here There's a new name on the ballot for the Senate this year My name is Linda Paulson Republican and awesome

Love God and family and the Constitution Doesn't rhyme I tried to get another conservative to run I mean You know Rhymed awesome with Constitution. Is that what you did? Republican and awesome.

I mean, Republican and awesome. In love with God and family and the Constitution. God and family and the Constitution. I tried to get another conservative. Worst picture to use, dude. So far away and blurry. Not even centered. Nobody could do it, so I'm getting it done.

I'm pro-religious freedom, pro-life, pro-police. The right to bear arms and the right to free speech. The only rapper pro-police. I want less government. Control and regulation want to stop and expose all political corruption. Where's integrity? Morality? So drunk.

Accountability? Government programs should lead to self-sufficiency and support traditional family as a fundamental unit of society. I hate gays. But in schools, they're pushing for new beliefs. And just to clarify this. Keep your dick out of a butthole. As a female adult, I know what a woman is. Oh, it's a bitch at the end. Keep your dick out of a butthole. Oh, it's the bitch at the end.

Did the Hail Hitler at the end. Wow, we got to watch this again. The way she turns around. So out of breath after this, you know? Like had to sit down and fucking actually put her hand to her chest. The slow motion republican and awesome love god and family and the constitution i can't she hey you can hear right lady republican and awesome i love god and family and the constant awesome i tried to get another conservative to run.

Nobody could do it, so I'm getting it done. I'm pro-religious freedom, pro-life, pro-police, the right to bear arms and the right to free speech. I want less government. Control and regulation

want to stop and expose all political corruption. Where is integrity, morality, accountability? Government programs should lead to self-sufficiency and support traditional family as the fundamental unit of

society. But in schools they're pushing for new beliefs. Just to clarify this, because there's some who can't define this. As a female adult, I know what a woman is. At the end, unbelievable, dude, when she goes like this. Just the picture of the fucking

lady wanted to call her black so bad, you know? Wow. The comment here, surprisingly wholesome. Somebody says, yeah, guy, okay? No. Hey, somebody who doesn't realize how they're coming off cannot lead okay

that's a big whoopsie daisy and of course she's from utah um i saw that movie fucking i stayed dude my friends were supposed to come over last night they didn't and i was gonna watch bad movies with them and they fucking bailed on me and i just go like this. Fuck you, motherfuckers. I'm watching Beast by myself. Dude, I will stare at Idris Elba for an hour and a half, dude. And just sit here and eat Cheerios mixed with Honey Nut Cheerios.

I put them both in at the same time because Honey Nut Cheerios on their own is too sweet and regular Cheerios on their own is too fucking plain and everyone knows it. So I sat there and watched Idris Elba fight a fucking lion for an hour and a half by myself. And I, dude, I had a blast, man. And that movie's good.

I don't know what it got on On critics or whatever the fuck But I saw, dude, I watched F9 Fast and the Furious And then I looked I don't understand what F9 is, you know Top 10 worst movies of all time Like Vin Diesel

Doesn't, hey, dude That's not the movie You're in, guy You're not in you know thriller drama fucking everything serious movie guy you're you're in a movie where a car has an r&b singer and a rapper in it and it goes to outer space to save the world a car you're in a movie where a pro wrestler john cena cena who i would argue is the worst looking man in human history okay fucking uh aggressively advances off a fucking ledge and fucking in a car and zooms off it. And a fucking stealth bomber picks it up in midair.

And Vin Diesel's like, seriously looking at another guy saying stuff like, not this time. I was there for you. And like doing it like for real hey do it tongue-in-cheek it's f9 hey do it tongue-in-cheek you made nine of these and the only reason why they're fucking global box office phenomenons is because of asians asians don't give a fuck what they're watching dude asians will watch anything as long as something in it preposterous is happening like they they don't give a fuck dude and A white guy will watch the stealth bomber pick up a fucking car in midair, and white guy will be like,

oh my god, what the fuck? Asians will watch it and start eating more popcorn. Asians don't give a fuck as long as action is happening, right? And I'm including Indians with RRR, like all that Bollywood shit. They don't give a fuck as long as action is happening. Right? And I'm including Indians with RRR, like all that Bollywood shit.

They don't give a fuck. And there's so many of them that fucking Fast and the Furious can be a hit now. And that's a conspiracy theory, hell, that I'm willing to die on. Yeah, dude. So don't be all not tongue-in-cheek and sitting there vin diesel talking to you know somebody that's like it's actually all about family and mean it dude get out of here man get you know somebody i fucking dude vin d john cena is the ugliest man i've ever seen in my life John Cena is the ugliest man I've ever seen in my life.

I'll die on the hill, dude. Have you ever seen a close-up of him? He looks fantastic in the ring. But you see a close-up of that motherfucker, dude? You're just like, where's his face going? Is his face in a rush? Parts of his face have other shit to do today or something it's a comedy podcast relax dude i don't actually think john cena is the ugliest guy in the fucking world i think it's kenneth brana obviously but dude you know what i mean where's hey but where's kenneth Bronner's lips, though? They use that extra flesh to populate John Cena's fucking face with, like, jowls, you know?

God was like, Kenneth doesn't need that. Put it on John Cena's jowls. Obviously, I'm joking, dude. Kenneth Bronner is not the fucking ugliest guy in the world. I could keep going with the joke, you know, but it's just like... But yeah, dude. Just like... John Cena, where's his face going, dude?

John Cena's got the most faciest face since Steve Harvey. The acting. I know you don't watch, but so this is what my point is. I'm watching F9 and then I look, I'm like, oh, this is agreed that this is one of the worst movies we've ever seen, right? Like, where do they get, hey, like, where do they get... First of all, who are these guys in Fast and the Furious? Who are these guys, okay? Because let's go back to Fast and the Furious 1.

Paul Walker was an undercover cop that met up with his street racer, Vin Diesel, and they had to save the day. Or uncover something. Or fucking get bad guys arrested. Okay. How did we get to. The ninth installment.

Which is actually the tenth installment. Because of Hobbs and Shaw is in there somewhere. How the fuck. Did they get to be global. Like. International spies. That like Vin Diesel's like, we're needed again to save the world. Who by what? But who's hiring you?

You're just some guy. And and and who's ludicrous? And what what is Tyrese? And how are they the comedic fucking element of the movie? Cars will be flying off for bridges and Ludacris will be like, not in my wildest days. Whoa. And Tyrese will just be like, damn.

Asians just eating popcorn, more popcorn, just laughing their fucking asses off watching Fast and Furious in fucking you know a big metropolitan area dude fucking god damn dude nothing there's only one thing more Asian than being

in a heavily populated metropolitan area is being fucking away way not near fucking anybody do it in silence than being in a heavily populated metropolitan area is being fucking away. Way not near fucking anybody. Do it in silence. Yeah, dude, he figured it out, man. Holy shit. So, but I will tell you this, man.

Who are these guys in the movie? Just straight up, who are they? 1,900 characters in each movie. Dude, Kurt Russell is in number nine in two scenes shot it in one day it gave him four million dollars took an afternoon and like you know who are these guys who is charlize theron she's in a glass box the whole movie with a fucking a q-tip haircut who are these people then you got like michelle rodriguez who i thought was vin diesel's sister until they ended up kissing. And I'm like, oh, oh, it's fucking Jordana Brewster. That's his sister.

Just there's too many people in this movie. Dude, John Cena, Vin Diesel, the chick from Game of Thrones. That's now in that invitation thing that used to follow me on fucking Instagram, but doesn't anymore and then fucking uh Jordana Brewster fucking uh what's her name uh the other one that I just said Michelle Rodriguez Ludacris Tyrese I'm racist because of the two black guys at the same time uh the Asian dude that just acts like this that's all he does well what do you think he's just we thought you died whoo not today just ludicrous fucking yucking it up god ludicrous the worst i've ever seen my life dude they tell dear vindy hey also john in oh I forgot the best part. John Cena is Vin Diesel's brother.

John Cena is Vin Diesel's brother in the movie. Lena is Vin Diesel's brother in the movie. They don't look alike. Dude, and then it might have been okay if they were adopted, but they don't mention that. As a matter of fact, they make it worse. They say, oh, I knew I noticed that jawline and the face structure was familiar. Saying like that they actually were brothers, dude. Dude.

If they cast straight up, if they cast a fucking doorway instead of John Cena, it would have been more believable. Dude, Vin Diesel looks more like a doorway than John Cena. Is Vin Diesel even white? I don't even know what the fuck. Dude, unbelievable

that they're brothers in the movie, dude. Ha ha ha ha, dude. Here's another question. Who's funding this mission? It's, hey, Street Racer, we need help to save the world. Can you find this orb that's in the wrong hands? Here's $84 bajillion.

This seems appropriate. howdy does it wow dude just unbelievable i can't even believe it I can't even believe it. That Asian guy is in it, and it's so funny, dude. Like, he died in the movie before and died. And then they were like, how are you alive? And then he's just like, and they do some flashback where instead of him being in the car that blew up, he's watching the car that blew up. Ha, ha, ha. And then he shows up and he has a haircut, you know, to make him look older.

He just fucking has a haircut and shit. And then it goes, and then it goes, and then one of the guys says to him, well, that still leaves one thing that has to be left explained. And then I said to my friends, we were watching it. I said, your haircut. And they all laughed really hard. Dude, that movie, dude. F, also, the balls, to call it F9, made half a billion dollars.

Balls to call it F9. Made half a billion dollars. It cost. It made 750. Or 20, 30, 40, 50 million dollars. Cost 200 something million dollars. To make so much fucking money. Just being thrown around. Dude.

And Kurt Russell's in two scenes. And then at the end. His character's name is Mr. Nobody. Dude. A children's game! So bad. And then isn't discussed beyond halfway throughout the movie. And the movie ends and there's no Kurt Russell.

And then three days later, you think, wait a minute, Kurt Russell was in that movie. And they're making another one. They're just waiting for the CGI to get good enough because they just cut Paul Walker out because he died. That they're just waiting for the cgi to get good enough because because they just cut paul walker out because he died that they're just gonna wait till the cgi is good enough to where they're gonna i swear to god i shit you not to where they can cgi and have paul walker in the whole movie cgi and that's what they're gonna do and i'm telling you right now dude and they've already put ludacris and tyrese in space in a car and they had to crash into a satellite this

is all real shit um movie's so bad but it's great and then I went on the fucking critic this whole reason I brought up on the critics and like half the critics were like popcorn fun no still gotta make sense, dude You know, the acting may not be there But the action is absolutely non-stop Yeah, but it's bad, dude The special effects, okay But also, this is a movie I could just type cool special effects on YouTube

And come up with some It's just so bad, dude Oh, come on oh god vin diesel dude do you know his real name i do it's mark sinclair a fucking lawyer you know Claire a fucking lawyer you know well Judge that would be cool but he didn't Do it why family drives out of the Fucking courtyard knocks over a fountain Diesel said he prefers to maintain his

Privacy regarding his personal life Stating dude he's so somebody I went to Went to NYU for one year with, stating, I'm not going to put it out there on a magazine cover like some other actors. I come from the Harrison Ford, Marlon Brando, Robert De Niro, Al Pacino code of silence. Lumped Harrison Ford in there, you know? Not part of it. not part of it.

I'm from fucking, I'm from the Marlon Brando, Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Drew Carey, Code of Silence. What? Harrison Ford was in zero Italian movies.

The Code of Silence is Italian. You know? I'm from the Marlon Brando, Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Frankie Muniz, code of silence, we don't talk about our private life,

the guy's Instagram is unreal too, Vin Diesel, oh, such a kink in his neck here, with the fucking, what's his name, Michael, Michael Caine, oh, couldn't think of his name until i did that one of the fun one of the best this is his caption one of the best

things about filming in the uk dinners with my dear friend sir michael kane who adoringly refers to me as his son ah dude all love always i love people who sign their instagram captions all love always dude it's not a sign their Instagram captions. All love always. Dude, it's not a fucking letter you're going to give to a pigeon. Kink in his neck, you know? How much does Vin Diesel wear the worst clothes of all time? I've never seen him in his regular clothes, only in action clothes. But, wow.

These two guys are probably so fucking crazy. Imagine being at a dinner with goddamn Michael Caine and Vin Diesel. I swear to God 20 minutes in I'd be like dude I come out I'm out dude I'm out I'm out I can't do this dude you fucking guys kidding me you don't know what real life is life

okay I'm looking here another Instagram wow yeah this fucking Michael Caine. Also, not a code of silence. One of the best things about filling your... Sir Michael Caine. No, you can't be a fucking...

And the code of silence with 19 bajillion Instagram followers, you know? I love how much The Rock hates fucking Vin Diesel too. You know it, dude. you know it dude you know it they asked him to come back and they and he said no and it was because of vin diesel i think and then that's fucking um but i did see that movie beast and that was good dude it was good okay it's like jaws but with a lion and the extent that with the extent of how they went, how far they went to not say that is unbelievable. Like it's jaws with a lion. That's what it is.

And if you're a moron, you might think, well, it's no lines in the water, oh, it's the jungle, the desert, the South African, and the fucking Idris Elba's the guy, and the amount that they don't say that is unbelievable, because here's the thing,

when The Rock made that movie, where he's the amputee in the building, skyscraper, is that what it's called? Whatever it was. Everyone was like, dude, he has to get his family out of the fucking building from the terrorists. This is diehard. And immediately The Rock goes, puts up an Instagram post and says, this movie I'm so proud of because I was such a huge fan of Die Hard.

It's an ode to Die Hard. And then everyone chilled out, right? Because they asked, I watched behind the scenes of this shit because I have fucking obsessive compulsive disorder. I want to watch a movie. I want to watch everything I can after it involving the movie, right? Like if Beast had a prequel, I would have already seen that shit. East had a prequel, I would have already seen that shit.

And, um, and I watched, uh, the fucking, uh, behind the scenes, and they were like, Idris, Mr. Elbow, fucking last name's almost Elbow, you know? Uh, Idris, what is the fucking,

is this a, are there other movies like this? Is this a first? He was like, well, I think it's actually a first, you know what I mean? Because, like, yeah like yeah sure there's been other movies where like i always forget that he's fucking british because he's got such a good he's a great actor dude and it's hilarious he's a dj too like literally fucking gets paid to like spinity beether but he was like um you know you know there's got that family element there too there's a lot of going behind the scene so in a way there is that it is a first but also you know it's been done before but like this way not in this way and it's like oh okay hidra selba here's another guy that's gonna be fucking out

to lunch with fucking vin diesel and michael cain in a few in a few years you get to that level of craziness at hollywood dude i'm so glad i'm out of that bullshit. I will not be crazy, and I am not crazy, and I fucking go to therapy because I want to go to therapy, not because of this performative bullshit that these people like to be like, oh, you know, mental health is real, and then they go out and fucking, you know, I don't know, rob a jewelry store. I don't know. I can't think of a fucking, I don't give a shit. But anyway, dude. know rob a jewelry store i don't know i can't think of a fucking i don't i don't give a shit but anyway dude um one thing i know for sure is vin diesel absolutely has a code of silence and that's so fucking cool um you guys fuck yeah remember that lifeline uh live show watch

lifeline.com get your tickets. Talk live me and my brother on the show. It's October 19th. Matt's birthday show. And then come see me on tour. ChrisLeah.com. And we've got those Life Rips jackets. There is an absolute limited edition for those jackets. So

go get them while you still can. Well, guys, that's it for the episode this week on YouTube. If you want to catch the rest of the episode, the raw, the uncut episode, the Patreon version, unedited, with no commercials, go to patreon.com slash Chris D'Elia and sign up now. And you also get an extra episode a month. You also get a link to our Discord where we chat all the time. You also get review mode, which is another thing that I do where I review shit on the Patreon and different podcasts. I think right now there's 17 extra episodes on there that we've been doing or something like that. So if you sign up now, you can watch all 17 of them for just $6.

There's also a podcast I did with Kristen one episode, and I think we're doing another one real soon. Just sign up for the Patreon. Patreon.com slash Chris D'Elia. Thanks.