Congratulations with Chris D'Elia - 322. Bring Out The Whole Ocean

Episode Date: June 22, 2023

😏 If you want totally ad/commercial free, uncensored/extended episodes 1 day early +1 entire bonus episode per month, exclusive merch + Discord & exclusive content over on Patreon: patreon.com/chrisdelia This week Chris checks in on the well being of DJ Khaled, watches Bebe get hit with a phone and discusses the tragedy of the Oceangate expedition. Spread the love using the hashtag #congratulationspod on Instagram and everywhere else, and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.  📸 Instagram: instagram.com/chrisdelia 🕺 TikTok: tiktok.com/@chrisdelia 🎮 Twitch: twitch.tv/flexavenue 🐥 Twitter: twitter.com/chrisdelia 👤 Facebook: facebook.com/chrisdeliaofficial Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey guys, I will be in Pueblo, Colorado and whatever Colorado, Colorado Springs, Colorado this weekend. So come on and check your boy out. Chrislea.com tickets and then I'll also be in Las Vegas and Charlotte and Nashville are coming up and Knoxoxville some other ones but go to chrislea.com to get tickets and also the new grow or die merch and the pockets stay deep merch got them right there chrislea.com got a little diving board on the pocket there to let you know that your pockets stay deep uh but yeah and also uh without further ado let's get into the next

episode of congratulations oh man i was just on like a movie uh trailer binge and just just don't just just just honestly i think i'm good dude you know people watching movies and shit i'm good i'll just watch the trailer honestly i feel like it's just too movies are too long now i guess sometimes sometimes the Netflix ones or the streaming ones are not long. But like you go to the theater, man, movies in the theater, man. I mean, sometimes these movies be two and a half hours. What happens when you want to start a movie at 11 o'clock at night? You don't put on the two and a half hour one. You put on the fucking one and a half hour one.

So, you know, i don't know i mean maybe that's boring to talk about but it's like at least it was quick right at least it was quick that's my whole point when someone's like oh you just told a bad story i'm like yeah but it was quick the balls for a movie to be that long period you know like i really want to see oppenheimer but you know it's three plus hours, right? I mean, Christopher Nolan is great. And yeah, if there's somebody who's going to do it, sure. Okay. Yes. But how long, run time of Oppenheimer? Here we go. Three hours. And he knew it. Oh shit, dude. He knew it. Not because he's psychic, because people are predictable,

right? Three hours and nine seconds Knew it Just Just eked it out over there Huh Dude I can't imagine Could you imagine Imagine like

You know And that movie's gonna make Bank too Barbie's two hours You know Barbie's two hours Like what Makebie an hour what the fuck do we have to see for two dads with their daughters in the audience just like oh fuck man god

they don't even have genitalia what's that nothing that's so annoying i don't get it man but cillian murphy is it cillian or yeah cillian he's really good at acting oh robert dunne jr's in it that's cool and then jack quaid is in it dennis quaid's uh. I don't know. Maybe it's a guy. I guess it's a son, but I assume the other way now just to make the left happy. Yeah. Oh, dude, you know what I – dude, Killian, it's Killian Murphy? Whatever it is.

You know? Killian's kind of a cool name. who you know killian's kind of a cool name um i have worked out and then i didn't work out the last two days i've been working out so hard where i go where where then i feel sick afterwards and not like nauseous like flu and i'm like what is this so Google it. I got fibromyalgia. I don't. But, you know, it says, hey, you know what? It definitely is fibromyalgia. So I go, I got fibromyalgia.

So I go home and I say, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to talk about it with my wife. She's going to make me feel better. I text, look what happened. You know how I've been getting flu symptoms after I work out for three days. Check that screenshot out, sent it the fibromyalgia with the, it said, I get home because she doesn't respond because Kristen is absolutely terrible with her phone. Great. And, uh, I get home and I, and she says, so do you really, you think you got fibromyalgia, huh? And I was like, oh, I don't know. And she's like, huh, I don't know. We should get it checked out. And I'm like, oh, great.

You're not even going to make me feel bad. And it's like, okay. So I said, you really think I have it? She said, I don't know. I was like, oh, dude, you're not even doing the comforting thing. So then I stopped. I didn't stop working out because I've been feeling like that. I stopped working out because I had to go to Tucson the day on Saturday.

Then I came back on Sunday and it was Father's Day. So I didn't work out Saturday and Sunday. And it's Monday now. And I didn't work out today yet. But still started feeling like shit at the end of the day. So it's not because I'm working out. So I guess I don't have fibromyalgia. Instead, I just have a permanent flu, maybe.

I don't know. not because we're working out so i guess i don't have fibromyalgia instead i just have a permanent flu maybe i don't know but um so now i'm like i'm pissed off because this virus dude i had this fucking it's been like two and a half weeks calvin got sick and then better and then re-sick and then kids you know having kids it's just like everyone you're just gonna be sick all the time um but so you know i've been trying to pretend like i pretend when i'm dude are you like me do you pretend deeply that you're not sick when you're sick like straight up you're like nah i don't know i'm good let's go let's go what do you want to go surfing let's go just vomiting all over the ocean spring out the whole ocean dude um but yeah, so by the way, how the fuck, let me play that actually.

Let me play that. How the fuck is DJ Khaled? How does he do it? Honestly. And by it, I mean, whatever it is he's doing, how does he do it? Here we go. Tell him to bring out the whole ocean. Eating seafood.

Tell him to bring out the whole ocean. Eating seafood. Tell him to bring out the whole ocean. Putting lime on it. Or lemon. You think it's a game, huh? No, not really. It's eating. Tell him to bring out the whole ocean. Dude, just not even...

Like, who's he with? So fucking... Him and Rick Ross, dude, the loneliest guys in the world. Tell him to bring out the whole ocean. Dude, tell him to bring out the whole ocean. Five shrimp is right there. It's literally a plastic container of five shrimp. Tell him to bring out the whole ocean.

And two halves of a... Dude. Tell him to bring out the whole ocean. I mean, a whole ocean is so much bigger than that, you know? Man, he is so ridiculous. Tell him to bring out the whole ocean. I was talking to my producer here, One Fire, and I was like, bro, imagine how annoying it would be to hang out with him. And he said, nah, I'd love it.

And I said, yeah. That for a night. Imagine like you went at his house and he like i made the bed for you you know there's another stay in one of my rooms and you did and you woke up and then it was that again you'd be like oh dude it's not time for this man whole ocean just got breakfast come on down we got breakfast you want bacon you want eggs just you'd be like oh relax dude um he is so lonely you know uh i just don't know

i don't know about oh here's one of him doing the breakfast okay here we go with him doing breakfast come on this is called what that's just avocado this is called what turkey sausage this is called what and this is called what i mean and what is this those are pickled banana peppers and what is this and perhaps what is this adding words dude that is the it is so so hood to add words that don't need to be there. And perhaps what is this? Sunday morning. Sunday brunch.

Sunday breakfast. It's so insecure at the end there. It's so lonely. This is called what? That's just avocado. Bro. This is called what? This is called what? An English teacher. And this is called what? That's just avocado too. Bro. This is called what? This is called what?

An English teacher. And this is called what? An English teacher. And what is this? Those are pickled banana peppers. And what is this? This is my favorite part right here. And perhaps what is this?

Water. You know? It's water. Sunday morning. Sunday brunch. Sunday breakfast. Giggling. So insecure at the end, then ate the whole fucking thing. Dude, how is he? Man, if I had a chef, bro, do you know how ripped I'd be? I'd be craving the hunter straight up. They'd be like, are you the real Craven Hunter guy? And perhaps what is this?

She says, water. I don't know how you... Oh, God, I wish I had a chef. I'm going to get a chef. When I really be balling, I'm going to get a chef. Oh, and I will get a chef, dude. Let's go to the beach. I mean, so lonely.

Let's go swimming. Oh, God. Let's go golfing. I mean, at the beach. Don so lonely let's go swimming oh let's go golfing i mean at the beach i mean dude let's go to the beach at the beach let's go swimming let's go golfing dude make up wow he's alone, you know? Like, here, let me just put it to you like this, dude. How old is he? 45? I don't even know how old he is.

What, 40, 45? Imagine him 80 doing this. There you go. That's it. That's a wrap. Oh, he's crazy, right? You don't think he's crazy because you think he's got all his faculties, but it's only because he's 40-something.

Dude, imagine the dude 80, gone. You'd be like, we really got to actually, we got to start worrying about DJ. We really have to start worrying about DJ. He's unreal. But, yeah, so I have been feeling like, I don't know what the fuck is just hanging on this virus, but, um, one,

one, because it went away a little bit and then it came back. I went to the dentist when it went away a little bit. I fucking hate getting, I, I hate, I don't, I like going,

I'd rather go to the dentist, get my haircut. I just don't like going places. Being at the dentist is fine. It's cool. You just kind of open your mouth and let them get in there. You know, you just kind of let them get in there and you chill.

And you just, you know, I got a really, I've got a really nice dentist. And then a woman who cleans the shit, which is, it's all a scam really. Because here's why I'll tell you it's a scam. I said, when's the last time I came here? And he said, seven years. And I said, okay, my teeth feel fine. And he's like, well, let's get in there. Gets in there. He says, man, I hate to say it, but for seven years, I mean, this is absolutely fantastic. Do you keep up? And I was like,

yeah, but like, I don't, you know, I brush my teeth twice a day. That's what I do. I do it when I wake up in the morning and then I do it at night. And sometimes I do it in the middle of the day. Do I floss? No. Do I use a little the morning, and then I do it at night. And sometimes I do it in the middle of the day. Do I floss? No. Do I use the little hook things that Kristen says I should use? No. And they're in there just getting it, you know.

And it feels good, dude. And it hurts, but it feels good, you know. And it's all too loud, and it's just wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, you know. And I got it done, and I left. And you know what I said to the lady doing my teeth? I said, so what? I got to wait like a half an hour to eat or something. And she says, oh, now you can do whatever you want. And I was like, yeah, but they make you wait. Like, don't you have to clean? You know, when you're a kid, they would tell you that. She's like, no, I just, whatever. I was like, so I could drink this coffee right now. And she's like, yeah, that's up to you. And I was like, so they were just lying to us as kids?

Remember that shit? I don't believe anything about time now. Remember when they would say, you shouldn't go swimming after you eat. What? Why? Why? What's going to happen? You're in water. It's not like the pool

involves just getting a bunch of fingers poked in your mouth. You're not swimming in It's not like the pool involves just getting a bunch of fingers poked in your mouth. And like just, right? You're not swimming in fucking laxatives. You just, it's water. Who ate a sandwich and then immediately jumped in the pool? I try it later. I just eat and then jump in.

Dude, it doesn't happen. You're fine. You ever do the thing where you're like, let me just try it. I'll just eat and then jump in. Dude, it doesn't happen. You're fine. You ever do the thing where you're like, let me just try it. I'll eat. Ah, fuck it. I don't want to wait. I'm just going to go in a pool. And you're like, it's actually fine, huh?

I don't like that they lie to us, dude. Yeah, so I went to the dentist. They've been lying to me. You find these things out, man, it's like, next thing I'm gonna fucking, I'm gonna find out, the tooth fairy isn't real, but yeah, I did, I went to the dentist, he cleaned my teeth, and then I go like this, because I have this bottom rung thing on the bottom there, and it was when I had braces and I was like, dude, can I get this off? Cause one night I was like, I, I've had this retainer in the back of my teeth. It's, it's

physically there. I can't remove it. Okay. It's been there for, uh, 25 years. right? And one night, three, two, no, two weeks ago, I was like, man, this fucking thing is still here. Like I've lived most of my life with this fucking thing in my mouth. That's uncomfortable. What if I'm in bed and I can't sleep? And I'm like, what if this is just like something that if I remove it, I'm like, oh my God, what, how have I been living like that? Like, like, like we didn't know that, uh, when you, you know how you do circumcisions like on my shit is I'm, I'm snipped in the, in the front, not like my vast difference. I can still have kids, but you snip the tip and you let the flower come out. Right. And that's so that, so the penis is a turtleneck on just chilling. Right.

Like it looks like a pig in a blanket. And, and I, we didn't know until recently that that actually makes it less sensitive. And it's, oh, you're going to ruin one of the greatest things? Busting? You're going to ruin squirting? You're going to ruin me spraying out ropey barbells? Huh?

It's supposed to be the best thing. You're going to make it a little bit worse? Dude, I want the best thing to be so the best that when it happens, I want to think, whoa, I can't do that again for days. My dogs are barking. Yay, dude. My dogs are fucking incels. So annoying, dude. Speaking of genitalia, they don't even have nuts you know like there's hey shut up stop fucking god hate we have four dogs dude you know we had i had two i fell in love so okay another one because of love and and then, you know, she had one. And then she had to fucking find one in Panorama City, dude.

I wish she just kept driving. But now we have a fucking trash dog. Anyway, dude, what was I talking about before penises? Squirting was for squirting, dude. The fucking dentist and the thing so what if i am like so i say that this can i get it out and he says well and i'm like oh it's another scam dude nothing's even happening you know they're barking sorry I had to cut for a second because I had to go out and tell him to stop. I had to have a real sit down with my dogs, but, um, that's, uh, that's what DMX has after a business meeting. Um, so, uh, so I said,

so I said, can you, can you get it out? Can you get out the, the, the retainer? And he says, well, the thing is sometimes we remove it and, uh, and the teeth shift. And I'm like, I've had this thing on for 25 years. You don't think my teeth are happy to where they are. And he was like, yeah,

I mean, it happens a lot. You don't know. So I'm like, so what if you remove it? It could happen is a chance. It could, or you could just leave it.

And then I'm back. I'm thinking back to the night where I couldn't, I couldn't, I was, I was basically having a panic attack. Like I really worked myself up. I'm like, there's a fucking something in my mouth. It's metal. It's been there forever. Like I'm just, I can't sleep. And then I've done, I've been having crazy sleep problems for some reason, crazy sleep problems. Like we're even honestly, you know how I talk about squirting helps dude. It didn't even help. Like my legs are immune to the squirt now my restless leg syndrome has gotten worse so i'm like now i've got this thing in my dude i gotta i've really

gotta start dealing with my anxiety a little bit better but i have been because i go to a lot of therapy you know anyway um so i let i'm like all right fine we'll just leave it in if i need to take it out i'll take it out because i don't want my kid you come back and congratulations. My teeth are all fucking out to the side like this. Like, I don't remember what they were when I was younger. I guess they fixed them, but I still have this shit in. But anyway, my whole thing is like, I don't know, man. I just, I don't know. I'm okay though.

I'm happy. You know, I finally got good sleep last night, dude. I took a fucking dude. You know what? Honestly, I took a, um, I couldn't sleep the other night. Let me play this voice message for you. I could not sleep sleep last night, dude. I took a fucking... Dude, you know what? Honestly, I took a... I couldn't sleep the other night. Let me play this voice message for you. I could not sleep the other night.

And I was in... I was in Tucson. Where is it? And I couldn't sleep. And I was like, dude, I'm not... I'm not doing this. I'm not... I'm not...

I'm not not sleeping another I don't even have like to wake up for the kids or anything I'm just gonna go to sleep in Tucson I'm gonna sleep a long time and I had NyQuil because I still was kind of feeling like shit it was expired NyQuil and I was like hey is it okay to take expired NyQuil to my tour manager and also to my um videographer and they were like, yeah, who cares? So I took it, started to feel really sleepy. And then I was like, let me just top it off with a fucking, like a, you know, some kind of anxiety medication.

Cause like, I'm kind of like, I'm on the road, a little bit anxious and shit, dude. So I'm gonna put these dogs outside. Hold on. Hey, I want to talk to you about ShipStation. Let's take a little bit of a break. And, oh, right there, stop, because this is important. We live in an increasingly automated world. But some things still require tedious manual work.

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Go to ShipStation.com and use code congrats today and sign up for your free 60-day trial. That's ShipStation.com code congrats all right we're back sorry i had to put my dogs outside so i took the the um i took the uh nyquil and i started feeling really tired and then i took the the Xanax because I was like, dude, I'm not fucking around. I'm sleeping. Hey, legs, have at it is what I was like going to be like basically thinking. I keep sliding up. This is great. And so I played.

So I ended up taking it. And my legs were buzzing, dude. I could not fall asleep. And I got up and I sat on the side of my bed and I start talking to myself. And I'm so tired, right? And I'm like, man, come on, man. You got this, dude. Come on, legs.

I'm like, you know, let's get with it. I need to sleep. I need this. I'm not feeling well. I can't. You can't keep me up because my legs are dancing, dude. I'm in bed. I'm like, you know, let's get with it. I need to sleep. I need this. I'm not feeling well. I can't, you can't keep me up because my legs are dancing, dude. I'm in bed. I'm dancing. And I'm like, just, I'm so tired.

Please, legs. Come on, Chris, you can do this. That's what I'm saying. And as I'm talking, I realize I'm kind of, I don't know what I'm talking about. Like, I'm not just talking about my legs and me going to sleep I start saying other things now I don't remember what I was saying

because I was like half awake and couldn't fall asleep and then I was like wow I had the wherewithal to be like I don't know what I'm saying I'm going to send some voice notes to my videographer and David Sullivan so I sent three voice notes to my videographer and David Sullivan. So I sent

three voice notes to my friends. And I forgot that I did that. And then the next morning, Sam is looking at me and laughing. And I'm like, what's up? And he was like, dude. And I was, I remember the voice was like, oh, I sent you voice notes, right? I was like, that was your laughing at? He's like, yup. So these are the voice notes that I sent. I'll just play the last one because that was the one that was. And this is not, I don't, I do remember sending these, but I don't remember what they were about. This is, I remember now, but the next morning I did not remember.

So this is what it was. The people that don't care. I am made more, I'm so high, if I'm being honest, from those fucking medications. And I keep waking up, but it's all good. I can't stay awake, but I'm not sleeping. It's like I'm in that world where the zombies are. I'm quite dead, and they're quite alive. But oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh. I can't imagine a guy ever doing that. You know? Oh fuck what I mean dude like just so out of it there's another one but I'll tell you more and more I think about it

what I did was I made myself more tired and now it's frustrating because I can't get what I want but um because I can't get what I want. But, yeah, I'm just taking it as it comes. Said absolutely nothing. Dude, I love that shit i used to get that tired back when i was uh dating my ex-girlfriend and she revealed to me a year later while we were still going out she was like dude you know i thought you had a pill problem and i was like what this is back before

i even took any sort of medication for anxiety. I was like, I've never taken a pill in my life, which was the truth. And she was like, really? Yeah, I thought you had a pill problem because of the way you would talk as you were falling asleep. That's what I would do. I never did that anymore. And then fucking, bro, I was so tossed off of NyQuil. Honestly, the Xanax doesn't even, I don't even tell it. I take such a low dose. I don't even tell anymore, but I could, bro, I don't know what's going on with

my sleep. It's just been so bad. I'm getting old, dude. Maybe I can't eat late at night. I don't know what it is, but bro, I don't want to give that up, man. That's like my only fucking source of guilty pleasure now. It's just eating late at night. now. It's just eating late at night. Oh man. Anyway, I went to Tucson, the tour reports up, go check it out on the other channel. Tucson is just, I love Phoenix, man. I really do. I love Phoenix and I love Arizona, but also what's Tucson, you know, like, is it just, is it closer to Albuquerque? Tucson is Albuquerque basically. They've got those small Mexican houses that are like turquoise and also beige and a little bit like brown, red. And it's like, where they don't even have windows, you know, they have windows, but like no glass over it. It's just like,

they're like, yeah, just don't rob us, dog. It's like the culture, but it's all, it's also like have fucking indoor AC. Right. Um, but that was fun. 1500 people came out in Tucson,

loving it. Um, and we just had a fantastic time, dude. I saw the first episode of, um, black mirror coming back, and it was good. The first half was so good. I loved how Netflix was making fun of itself with this thing, Streamberry, the episode of Black it, it just, I mean, dude, it was so inside and so jerk off fest for Hollywood. It was so bad, dude. It was so cock sucking bad. I couldn't even believe it. And it was just like Selma Hayek was in it and they were trying to make her funny. And it was just like so written and it was just so fucking bad, dude. I don't know how you can make, like, here's the deal, Black Mirror. Black Mirror

was so good, season one, season two, and after that, you can't keep doing it. You can't keep making good shows. It can't last for more than, like, two seasons, because it's so hard to sustain that world. And I know every episode

is different, and every now and then they do come out with a good one, and, you know, look, God bless, man. You're going to make a good one. You're going to make a bad one. You're going to make some of the best stuff has also some of the worst stuff in it because you need to take chances. But holy motherfucker, man. It's like you can't keep making shit that is going to be such a great grand idea.

And then it's all dependent on this twist at the end to where this why m night shamala movies fucking suck now you know and i'm not saying he doesn't make good movies sometimes sometimes he does but like when you're always waiting for this fucking twist at the end it's like dude and then the twist how many twists can you make besides oh they they were dead the whole time that's a great twist. And then the second one was, oh, he's a superhero. Okay, cool. Great twist.

And then the third one is like, oh, they all live in a village? Or whatever the fuck that one was? Oh, nature is mad at Mark Wahlberg? Or whatever the fuck that one was? You can't keep having twists. Oh, water kills the aliens that one sucked oh dude it's water oh the thing that sustained life for us is the thing that kills dude water's everywhere eh then how could they we're made of water the

aliens are made of everything's water and they're just walking around and they find out because some fucking daughter left a glass out that the alien can't dude hey that movie sucks you can't rely on the shit this is why and i'll tell you what i made fucking three four specials that was a silly goose time and And that was by design. I never wanted to fucking keep doing that. But I was going to ride that motherfucker until I changed my idea of what I thought was funny. Until I changed, until I grew into whatever I grew into. You know, how many times can you fucking rip, roar a silly goose time until you're the guy who's like, oh, shit, you're 50.

Okay, well, I'm 43 now. Dude, the last special I did, that shit's not just a silly goose time, dude. It's the best thing I've ever done. And you got to change, dude. Once you get to know, once you get, once you become something and people know you as that guy, you can't do that shit anymore. It's, it's, it sucks. I mean, I guess that's where the money is, but it's like, dude, after I made fun of Eminem and I made it in the video, I'm done. I'm done. I'm not doing it anymore.

You know why? Because people want me to. I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. I think that there's a real thing, that you can like learn from this especially if you're an entertainer and shit if you become known for one thing you can't you're a flash in a pan dude and your boy's no flash in a pan man not to say i'm not sean long's a flash in a pan he's not he really is a great director and i always watch his movies but then like the island makes you old or whatever like come on dude come on man

it's not good just because you had the guy from ito mama tambien in it that movie was good that ito mama tambien movie dude hell yeah i want to be in a fucking spanish movie like that and just be like you, and then just fucking have one scene where I kiss a dude wholeheartedly, like, and just stroke him, like, and it shows it. But I'm not gay, but in the character is gay, I guess.

But I'm not gay, and I walk off set and I go, all right, that's a wrap. Take that fucking rainbow flag down. I'm not with that. So you could, not, you know, that's what Chris Lea says, and they're like, whoa, that was, but I'm like, but just, I'm not with that That's what Chris Lea says And they're like whoa I don't like that shit

That's how good of an actor I am I stroke the dude and I'm against gays So that's how good of an actor I am Like Colin Farrell in the Penguin style shit That's how I do it It's cheating when you Put that much makeup on as an actor I think honestly I think it's cheating when you put that much makeup on as an actor i think honestly i think it's cheating and i don't i love colin thoreau i think he's great but if i'm gonna do a movie

uh and they're like yeah you got to play a fat guy you know like brendan fraser should have just been like i'll just be this fat. I'm kind of fat anyway, when he did The Whale. And they're like, we actually have really, we want to put a, we want to make it really fat. We got a fat suit. I go, you know what? I'm not doing it.

I'll just make, let me make The Mummy 9, you know? Because I don't, it's like, you know, you get a fucking, a beautiful woman, and then she does some movie where she plays a mom, and they put a a hook nose on her and it's like all of a sudden she's nominated for an Oscar. And Colin Farrell's good, but you get extra credit for that shit. I don't, you know, and I know obviously I'm not there, but you know, I got offered a thing recently. I'm not, I'm not, I'll do it when I want, dude. How about that? I got offered a thing recently in Hollywood. I'll do it when I want. I don't want to do it now. So fuck these motherfuckers

that are like, ah, yeah, you know, I'm a dude. Cause when I do, when I, oh dude, when I do, I'm fucking straight up ice and a whole fucking cast goes gonna go like this you know what dude he just played my part too it's gonna be like the clumps just me in a drama though um colin farrell looks like the shit in the penguin huh he's good in that dude he's good confriles good he's too handsome to he's good. Colin Farrell's good. He's too handsome to be that good, right? Same with Christian Bale.

Christian Bale is top dog. Dude, there's nobody who's a better actor than Daniel Day-Lewis in the whole world of anything that has ever happened. It's unbelievable. I watched that fucking, tried to watch that movie Fantastic Thread or whatever the fuck it is, Phantom Thread. I mean, just the balls to make a movie that boring for fuck's sake and i like boring movies i like movies that you can kind of turn off and watch later because you're not that

hooked into it dude the phantom thread like this guy is just sitting around talking to women and like talking about making fabric and dude you expect me to watch this fucking thing i don't care how good of an actor he is. I don't care. The guy could play a shoe, and I could believe it. I don't care. It's boring. Hey, I'm a hot dog. Fucking Rah Williams.

But yeah, dude, I just phantom thread. I watched it 25 minutes and I go like this alright dude jokes on me I guess I'm done you know what dude blow it out your asshole

really this fucking movie with zero colors in it just tan, beige and brownish and I gotta watch and Daniel Day-Lewis is good he's just like I make fabric and brownish. And I got to watch. And Daniel Day-Lewis is good. He's just like, you know, I make fabric. And when I make fabric. And you don't even know where the fuck Daniel Day-Lewis comes from, right?

That's how good he is. You don't know where he's from. He could be British. He could be South African. He could be from fucking Pluto. You have no idea, right? Take my ears down. They stick above my head, right?

Like that could be makeup he does because he he's from Pluto, because he's got fucking, like, when Daniel Day-Lewis comes into a meeting, you might, you'll be like, I don't know, this is him, he's just like, oh, hey, hi, this is Daniel Day-Lewis, yeah, he's a translator, oh, well, how the fuck do you play all those other parts, he's just really good, man, but he's little and green, just pissing and shitting everywhere oh my god can he just play a character in this meeting um but yeah dude i watched phantom thread and i'm like all right he's so good but who cares you know and that guy's a good filmmaker and I'm the asshole. Don't, don't get it twisted. I'm not saying, you know, people come at me all the time. They're like, oh, this guy hates

everything. I don't do it. I'm, I'm playing, I'm playing, I'm playing. It's all jokes, except for when I'm talking about trans kidding. It's all jokes, always all jokes. Sometimes it's not jokes, but it's mostly jokes. You i'm in the middle dude i don't the right and the left are gone to me see ya see ya see ya see ya see ya and i've made it how about this i've here's the deal i've decided this and i've decided recently republican chicks Republican chicks, the hottest chicks, period. There I said it. Dude, uh-oh, he said it.

Too low. They are though. They're the hottest chicks. And I was like, why? I started thinking about this. I'm like, why are Republican like women so gangster hot, you know? And I'm just saying, look, and dude, you can't be mad at me. You can't be mad at me because it's just nature. You know what I'm just saying, look, and dude, you can't be mad at me. You can't be mad at me because it's just nature.

You know what I'm saying? But when I see a Republican woman and she's just, you know, hey, fuck off. I mean, you can't be too right. You can't be like, I got my guns here at Costco and fucking with a QAnon hat and just, I'm out here looking for fucking, you know, Robert Kennedy or whatever the one that died is that they think is the fucking shapeshifter at the parades now. What is it, Robert? John Jr.? Whoever it is. You can't be like that.

Then you're bonkers. But, dude, a Republican? And I'm like, dude, you know why I think maybe Republican? Because I was like, what the fuck? Like liberal, like way liberal. It doesn't matter how hot you are. Guys too, I assume, but I'm not attracted to men. But like, it's just such a turnoff when it's like.

And then I realized, oh, dude. because Republican women straight up have no, um, and, and they have no misgivings about who they are. You know what I'm saying? That's, that's very attractive to me, right? Like you have no misgivings about who you are. You know who the fuck you are. You don't, you're't you're not like oh but you know it's all you never know it's all fluid and it could be tomorrow and you know and and well maybe i'll cut my hair here and do this and dye it this way and and wear this and i know but bro you know who the fuck you are that's gangster and that's hot and that's uh that's what i came up with and that's probably if i was still in hollywood that would get me fucking crazy backlash but now it's just also people are coming around you know we're gonna look back i don't know

how long it's gonna take we're gonna look back on this section of time and i don't know if it's gonna be the 10 years or 20 years whatever this section of time is and it's gonna be like wow man that shit was crazy dude just as crazy as when like Woodstock people were like just naked out in mud, just putting like pieces of dirt like all in their anus and just calling it free love, you know? Just chicks with their floppy, slopey tits out, you know? Just bad tits in 1970. Just with mud all over them and big poofy hair everywhere. Just listening to the doors i dude that whole music i i don't i don't like i'm not a music dude you know i mean it really kind of does sound like

i hate everything but i don't but like that whole music of the 70s like the steve miller band and shit well it always sounded like any any genre of music where it sounded like they're recording so far away from where the fuck they're supposed to be recording you know what i'm talking about you know what i mean dude like now music's just like you know but back then it was like it was so far away though like they used to call me the space cowboy but now people call me maury whoop whoo that guy with that fucking instrument that was just some guy in the back going whoop whoo that don't that music sucks dude now we're all up in it sounds like the music's inside your head man music sure

did suck back then people try to tell me the Beatles are good, and then you're like, all right, play something. We all live in a yellow. Turn that off, thanks. People fucking say, yeah, well, what about Bob Marley? Oh, well, why? Because of the political stance that he's on. Oh, yeah? We jamming, we jamming, yeah.

We hoping in the jam of the law. Yeah, all right, dude. Eat my fucking whole asshole, man. That guy fucking, what's, who's the guy that got, now, it could be like nine people, but there's the rapper that's on trial for murder. YMH, no, no, not your mom's house. YM guy, somebody who's going to...

What is it? It's unwanted for killer. And then YNW? YNW Nelly? Melly? I mean, so the name, you know. Just wanted for murder, I guess, 24 years old. And just like in in songs is just like, yeah, I fucking kill a motherfucker. I did it.

It was on, you know. It was on this street at that cross street at this time. It's not even rhyming. He's just saying what he did. And and they're using it against him and then the prosecution just was like they got the the dm from him and it was like and he was like talking to somebody he's like yeah i did that you know how i killed that guy and it's just like hey guy oh dude what are you doing man if you're gonna kill someone shut up about it hey if you're gonna do something like that don't make a song about it huh i don't know maybe he didn't do it i have no idea i always i'm a weirdo though man

like maybe i um that's so weird when people are like yeah fucking i hope he goes to jail fucking and then it's also weird to be like free him because like you don't know but then also like i always want it to work out because i don't want to think that fucking somebody killed someone does that make me fucking naive? I have no idea, dude. I hope that Melly, YNW Melly didn't fucking shoot anybody, even though he made songs about it. You shouldn't be able to use rap or hip hop as proof, though, but I don't think you can because it's a story. You're telling a story. Be like if I made a song. I don't like when my wife argues with me.

It's so fucking annoying when she makes me put dishes in the dishwasher. It's my only chore, but it's the worst one because you get pasta on you. Chris, do you hate when you have to put the dishes

into the dishwasher? No, not really. I don't. Do you hate when your have to put the dishes into the dishwasher? No, not really. I don't. Do you hate when your wife gets on you for that? No, I don't. What about when you get pasta on your fingers? No. Okay.

See, Exhibit A, I want to play the song. I hate my wife, and when she does this, I don't, though. She's my angel. You know what I mean? I love. Jokes are jokes, you know, but I really be loving her. All right. I had to put the dogs back out again, even though I asked, please take your time out.

Dogs have more, more have better, better it better in the house than me. Anyway, I saw this thing, Bebe Rexha, who I don't even, I'm so out of it. She's probably super famous singer, obviously, I guess. She got, man, I hate people. Someone threw a fucking phone at her head, you know? So loud, so loud. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

Oh. Mm, that hurt. Goddamn, too. Man, if it was my phone, it would hurt a lot, too, because it has my banking app in it, and it makes my phone heavier. So she posted the pics. Dude, she had to get stitches. You can see the cut just above her eye where she needed stitches,

and there's significant bruising. Dude, that's crazy. Oh, man, fuck. Who throws their phone? By the way, it was probably a guy who just found out his girl's cheating, you know? Oh, seriously? This app? The singer was performing at the Rooftop Pier 17 in Manhattan as part of her best fucking night of my life tour.

When somebody tossed a phone. Like, throw bottle, if you're going to throw something, don't throw a bottle, but like, dude, that's your phone. That's a thousand dollars. You just threw a rack at her head. Um, I hate that. And then that one person who did that ruined the whole show for everybody, you know, dude, I hate it. Look at what an operation TMZ is.

They have this, and then they show it on TMZ, and then they get the video, and then they have another guy. Do you think the person who threw a phone at Baby Rex's head during a concert should be sentenced to jail? Let us know. It's like, dude, the operation. And then they'll have a poll, and poll and then the next one like do you think that poll was right here it's frank at tmz y'all think the poll was right fucking operation just keep on getting clicks because some woman got fucking

smacked in the head with a goddamn 800 gig iphone um and what about this dude this is so sad titanic tourist submerged titanic tourist submersible goes missing with search underway here's the thing about the titanic if the fucking titanic couldn't do it you know we think you fucking five rich assholes are gonna be able to no my heart goes out to him seriously I don't mean to say assholes but well I guess the baby Rex hot guy got arrested huh here we go a massive search and rescue operation

is underway dude this is just so awful when you're like they gotta be like we gotta go get the we gotta go search and rescue and they're like we know what happened they're under water we know what happened. They're underwater. They don't have... Okay, let's go. It's so sad, dude.

Massive search and rescue operation is underway at the Mid-Atlantic after... Imagine if you were to find something in an ocean. Dude, you ever drop something straight up? Like while you're sitting in a chair? Where'd it go? It rolled... Where'd it go? I didn't even drop it where it is.

How did that happen? It's so far whenever you drop something. They think they're going to find it? Little thing in the... Tickets cost $250,000 for an eight-day trip, including dives to the wreck at a depth of... Wow. This is horrible, dude.

OceanGate is the tour firm. Oh, God, dude, they're done, huh? Titanic's wreck lies some 435 miles south of... And they wanted to look for it, these rich people. 58-year-old British billionaire is among them. Damn. On social media, proud to finally announce that he would be aboard the mission to see the wreck of the Titanic.

But because of the worst winter in Newfoundland, Newfoundland in 40 years, this mission is likely to be the first and only manned mission to the Titanic in 2023. This is the thing, man. That's like that fucking... God, don't go if it's like, well, we can, but...

Look, he later wrote, a weather window has opened up and we're going to attempt to dive tomorrow see now man who dude you're going underwater you're not going to the it's not like well there's a lot of traffic dude you're going to see you're literally going to see a failure and you're doing the thing that they failed at look at this guy wanton good soup tweeted I'm gonna keep it real this is the most dead anyone has ever been

because I know they gotta keep hope alive I know god twitter is just fucking awful you know like families are grieving or like so sad and worried and then good soup goofball or whatever the fuck his name is is just like, I'm going to keep it a bean. They died. Look at this thing.

Look how small and cramped it is, dude. They didn't even die comfortable, too. So sad. They're so far from i mean dude this is so sad not to end on a good note but how about how crazy how about how crazy that the fucking titanic is that's still look at that That's still a recently released video showing a 3D video view of Titanic shipwreck. Wow. There it is. Huh?

Doesn't even really look that bad. Honestly. All right. Look at that. Wow. Oh, this is not the real thing, though. This is a 3D render. I guess we can't see under all that shit. Wow. Oh, this is not the real thing, though. This is a 3D render. I guess we can't see under all that shit, maybe.

How do they know that that's what it looks like? I don't like 3D renderings. They're not true. Man, that's crazy. Remember that movie Gideon? Where the fucking... Where the people, the society is under this... They're in this ship.

Gideon's... What's it called? Mark Harmon's in it. It's where the people, the society is under this, they're in the ship. Gideon's, what's it called? Mark Harmon's in it. It's where the fucking, it's beautiful dong thing happened. Mark Harmon, Gideon. Mark Harmon has $14 trillion, you know, from, from,

what's that fucking, NCIS. from, uh, what's that fucking, uh, NCIS. Goliath awaits is what it is. Goliath awaits. Dude, let's watch that. I think I talked about this on this podcast a long time ago.

Yeah, I did. But Goliath awaits ending. Dude, she says, it's beautiful. And then the music hits so hard immediately right after. It's beautiful. Ending. Ending.

Here. This movie was so bad. The whole movie is on it? Wow, it's three hours? Don't make... I mean, don't make that movie that long. Look at it. Everything has an ending explained. I just wrote,

Goliath awaits ending and then said explained. Dude, they just got out. It's beautiful. You have it? Oh, just text it to me. Yeah. You have the? Oh, just text it to me. Yeah. You have the actual end?

Wow, it's amazing. This is the whole movie? No. This is the whole movie. So I'll just go to the end of this then. Just watch how hard the music kicks in. Here we go. Wow.

Did you text me the whole movie? Oh, you did? Damn. I mean, it's taking way too long. Did you text me the whole movie? Oh, you did? Damn. I mean, it's taking way too long. Here we go. Does that mean if I click on it? Oh, that means if I click on it, it'll go to it? If you timestamp it? Really?

Wow. Let me just click that then. That's crazy that you can do that. I don't know how to do that. I did it. No, I got it. I got it on the text. Here we go. It's beautiful. So quick, dude. It's Oprah!

Dude, me and my brother always talk about how quick the ending is after that. We saw it. Why do we watch it? Why do you watch it like that when you're a kid? Look at how she goes, It's beautiful. Here we go again. It's beautiful. over unbelievable they didn't give a fuck about that movie you know

wow that was a brown that was how we turned it into it's beautiful dude oh man that's fucking funny as shit. Wow. How bad were movies? But also good. Now they're so bad, dude. I heard that in Transformers or in Past X, the Transformers come in at the end. For real. That's just how it should be.

There you go. They did it. They figured it out. Finally, now I like them. I finally like it. I finally like those movies. All right. Look.

You can get the Grow or Die merch. You can get the Pocket State Deep merch. Chrisley.com. You can go. Come see me in Knoxville. Come see me in Colorado. I'll be there next week or this week, actually. And then I'll be there in a bunch of – I'll be where else?

Vegas, Charlotte, and a bunch of different places. So go chrislea.com and appreciate you. Leave a comment for me and make sure you're subscribed to this channel. We love it. And then if you want to get the Patreon, you get the Patreon. You get the unedited, uncut version of this show and every show that ever comes out. And then also you get the extra episode a month that we do here. There's like 30 of them.

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