Congratulations with Chris D'Elia - 385. Take Your Ribbings

Episode Date: June 13, 2024

😮 Get a shoutout on this show at holler.baby/chrisdelia 🎤 MY SPECIAL: GROW OR DIE is here: chrisdelia.com/god 😏 Wondering where the missing episodes are? they're on Patreon: patreon.com/chrisdelia - Extended episodes + 1 whole extra episode every month. Also no ads. This week Chris is watching Drops of God, a guy try to be like Snoop, and a world record bench press. Plus a visit to Green Bay. Spread the love using the hashtag #congratulationspod on Instagram and everywhere else, and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.  📸 Instagram: instagram.com/chrisdelia 🕺 TikTok: tiktok.com/@chrisdelia 🎮 Twitch: twitch.tv/chrisdelialive 🐥 Twitter: twitter.com/chrisdelia 👤 Facebook: facebook.com/chrisdeliaofficial Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey yo what's up guys how you doing it's time to do the new episode of congratulations so like um i got new dates here. August 9th, St. Louis. August 10th, Memphis. August 17th, Wichita. Then I have McAllen, Texas and Beaumont, Texas in September. Peterborough, Ontario. Never been there. September 13th and 14th, London, Ontario.

September 20th, Duluth, Minnesota for some reason. And September 28th, Lexington, Kentucky. And I got the Australian dates too. So go to chrisley.com. If it says pre-code, if you need to type something in, type in comedy, all capitals, but you're probably watching this after Wednesday. So just go and get tickets, dude. I'll be in your area. Um, yeah, dude. So, Oh, I think that, is that, uh, too high? The camera, is it too high? Does it look like it's like looking down at me a little bit, huh? Yeah. Just like maybe a little down. Oh yeah. Cause we should see that. Let's just, you know, we're just, we're going, we're going, we're going and we're going and

we're going and this is going to be okay. And we're going to be, we're going to be doing, oh, yeah, yeah, that's better, yeah, yeah, yeah, I look more in charge that way, you know, just a little behind the scenes, I look more, I look more, you know, masculine and good, um, there we go, there we go, there we go, all right, cool, we're good, we got the, we got it going, uh, we got it going the way it's going, got to go in the way we want so that's it um yeah uh i am here i was at um you know man green bay is a place that i was really excited to go to because i'd never been and I wanted to see what Green Bay was like and I mostly wanted to see what it was like because of the um football team right let me just tell you right now dude I'm not a football guy you know when I think about like look Green Bay the Green Bay Packers probably have one of the well they have one of the best dynasties in football, right? And that's cool. And then you go to Green Bay

and you just think, well, where is everybody? Okay. Okay. Because there's straight up 100,000 people in Green Bay, Wisconsin. And when you arrive, they're nowhere. And now it wasn't football season. Okay. So that's fine. But where are you? Hey, people in Green Bay, where are you? And you have a big stadium that's very in the middle of nowhere. Okay, fine. Where are you, everyone? During football season, I probably know where you are. But then I go like this. Why do you have a football team? Because it's absolutely crazy. If this team just decided to leave, or if the owner decided to move them, or if they just were going to change locations, the town, sayonara. There's million-dollar houses right next to the stadium,

million-dollar houses, million-dollar plus houses. There's million-dollar houses right next to the stadium. Million-dollar houses. Million-dollar-plus houses. There's million-dollar condos. That stadium, that team goes away, sayonara. And the city goes, you know what it becomes? The I Am Legend city. That's what it becomes. The one where you just got to walk around with your dog

and just kind of hopefully you don't die. You know? That's really what it is. Green Bay is not a bad place. It's just why. It's nowhere. And I had a great time in the crowd. The crowd was, you know what, to be honest, the crowd was a little, was a little, felt a little liberal.

You know, I talk about a lot of stuff now that is, you know, they're hot button issues. But I felt liberals going. You know what I felt liberals doing? That's what I felt them doing. But there were also people that were just, you know, simply. And we like that, too, because you know what? Somebody apparently left because I was talking about TRANS issues. And some apparently blue haired lady left.

She gave me the finger, flipped me off and then left. And it's funny because that was right after I made fun of different races, blacks, whites and Asians. And then I talked about trans people. And that was when she chose to get up and throw the finger and leave. And now my whole thing is, thought they wanted equality. Right? If you truly wanted equality, sit there and take your ribbons. Right?

Because already made fun. Oh oh so when it comes to something that you don't like to be made fun of then you don't so oh so you don't want equality what you want so what you want is power and you want more power than others and no you don't get it and also take your ribbons okay because was just, it's just a comedy show. And leave if you want. But that's crazy. That's wild, dude. It's just case in point right there.

That should be the ultimate shutdown. That should be the ultimate, oh, okay. You want equality, then you get equally made fun of. Right? And I wasn't being rude. I being silly i'm joking i'm doing jokings do you know what i mean i'm doing absolute jokings and it's like let me tell you about this i had water why does it never i can't ever open up the thing there we go there it is we did it i don't like how it's not paper how how it's a little, whatever, it's not worth talking about. But anyway, so that was what happened at my show in Green Bay. A trans person left my show. Okay. I'm surprised more people don't leave, honestly, with the stuff I say.

But for those that stay, amazing. Well, I mean, nobody really ever leaves, to be honest. What am I talking about? But that happened. So it's fine. And then I was also in, where else was I? We stopped in Madison, Wisconsin, because we wanted to celebrate. Okay, so what did we do? Where were we first? Des Moines, which actually uh really fun uh Des Moines is a nice place who the f knew dude I think any I think it's um one of those towns that they sing about in uh Little Shop of Horrors when they do, and Peoria, New York. And they only say New York, but the whole joke is that they say Peoria

because it's like they'll be taken over everywhere and they say even Peoria. I think that they say Des Moines in there. So it's supposed to be not that good, but I'll tell you right now, Des Moines was way better than I thought it would be and Green Bay was more where are you than I thought it would be. And Green Bay was more, where are you, than I thought it'd be. But yeah, I did the show. And of course, I guess, I don't even know, but Tom Segura had a show the same night. I guess he moved it,

because we went on sale a while ago. And it was slower moving tickets. And I was like, why am I slower moving tickets in Des Moines? I know it's Des Moines, but I've been here before. And then I figured out that Tom Segura moved his show there. And I was like, why am I slower moving tickets in Des Moines? I know it's Des Moines, but I've been here before. And then I figured out that Tom Segura moved his show there. And I'm like, oh, okay, that's what it is. So all good. It was tougher to sell tickets there in Des Moines than normal. But God bless the people that came out anyway, man. You babies, you know?

We love it. We love that you choose me. But we had a good show man that shit was awesome uh and i'm getting a spam risk phone call do you pick up phone calls anymore i don't even pick up phone calls anymore i would never pick up a phone call that i don't know remember when at home you know back when you know i people don't know that millennials know this and stuff but when you your phone rang at home hey dude it could have been anyone contact list no you didn't even have a contact list you just had some emergency names next to the phone and there were like 10 of

them it was like your aunt you you know, and then 911, and then maybe your friend that you drew in. And your mom was like, no, you don't need to put your, you know, you don't need to put matrivenin in there. And you're like, yeah, but I want to add to it. Dude, contact list? Dude, someone would just call you and you'd go like this. Oh, this could be anyone.

Hello? call you and you'd go like this oh this could be anyone hello and now if you don't recognize the thing on your phone you you don't even entertain answering it right wow i love how people are like some people are like weird about giving their number out. And it's like, I met this dude that was like a really cool dude in Des Moines, I think. And he hung with us a little bit and just kind of was like in the lobby of the hotel and we were bullshitting. And he said he was going to be in, he lives in Lafayette, Arkansas, Alabama. One of those, one of those eight places.

And I was like, oh, I'm going to be playing there. And I don't know when it is. I don't think I announced it yet, but I am going to be playing there later on this year. And he was like, oh, I want to come. I was like, oh, take my number. And he goes, and he says, really? Are you sure? And I was like, yeah.

He's like, okay, well, I mean, I don't want you to see, I don't want it to seem like, I was like, dude, I'll block you if you suck. Right? Number one. Number two, don't act like you can't get into, you can get anybody's information anyway. Like I could, you know, unless, like you could find someone on Instagram. You can find someone on TikTok, annoy the shit out of them. You can find someone on LinkedIn.

The guy's on LinkedIn. I can find him on LinkedIn. Annoy the shit out of him. You know? Twitter, annoy the shit hey buddy met you remember met you what we do blocking someone's phone number is the same thing as blocking someone on social media they're done i guess they could keep calling you if they're a real lunatic but dude just keep blocking i enjoy it oh yeah look it's that asshole again block but i'm not gonna block him because i liked him i actually thought i would hang out with the guy he's a cool dude but anyway um so yeah i gave him my number i get my numbers out there bro i gave it to people i don't care i don't even care um i got a text the other day actually this is this is this is because here's

the other thing too you ever get the text that's not to you, but it's to your number? Here. Here we go. This is what I get. I got a text of, you know what I should do is I should actually send it to you guys so you can post it on the thing. I got this picture. I'll send it to you right now, Ivan. I got this picture.

Now, it has, now here, for those of you watching, it's up here on my upper right, okay? There are probably... God, how many people would you say that is? 25? You think that's... Yeah, yeah. 50? You think it's 50?

Yeah, yeah, you're probably right there. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. And then there's... No, I'd say 50. 45, 50. But anyway, whatever, six, seven, eight, nine. And then there's no, I'd say 50, 45, 50, but anyway, whatever.

That's a picture I get sent. This is the text of company with it. Accompanying with accompanying it. Hi Mallory. Okay. So already I know not me. All right. Cause you know why?

Cause my name's Chris, not Mallory. There are more coming, but this is the big family photo from yesterday. Okay? Now, it's got, for the people listening, it's got many old people, and then many,

seems like there's like, yeah, people of all ages, even kids. No, not really kids. Eh, maybe there's, yeah, there's some kids, maybe. Anyway, hi, Mallory. There are more coming, but here is the big family photo from yesterday. not really kids yeah maybe there's yeah there's some kids maybe anyway uh hi mallory there are more coming but here is the big family photo from yesterday thanks for coming and i'm sorry about

brian's behavior okay we tried to keep the alcohol away this time but he managed to sneak in vodka in the vodka in that chick-fil-a cup he was drinking out of. LOL. And then in parentheses, lots of laughs. And then a minute later, I do apologize, it was not a laughing matter. So I'm like, if that's real, awesome. If it's not real, still kind of a good prank. But now I have a picture of 50 people in my phone i keep it but anyway if i wanted to i could just block that you know you get that phone you ever get that one

hey dawn is this you nah who wrong number ah sorry sometimes i get people sup anyway um but yeah i was looking at this uh weightlifting contest from uh it's kind of weird uh uh so pablo ramirez uh who is a uh i don't know who he is he does 177 kilograms without equipment so he's doing a bench press, and he's a little person. I don't think you can say midget anymore, but there's a little person, and he's bench pressing that much, and that's like 300 pounds or something, almost, right? 177 kilograms. What is it?

Oh, it's 390. Oh, yeah, because that's double. Okay. And that's way more than me. But let's take a look at him doing it. Wow. This song. Strapped in so he won't topple over.

It's kind of... So he's strapped in so he won't fall over on top. That's interesting. Because your legs can't go to the ground, so that's fine. And I'm not trying to make fun. This is just why they do it.

Because you can't... Wow, this is really impressive for him to do this much weight. Now, let's see. Two inches. It went two inches. So, does it count? Yeah, he won.

He won the... That's the world record. This much, dude. That much. Now, I don't want to take anything away from him, but... Does it count? You know what I mean? He says, you know, I guess, you know what, for little people, he's going to be,

he's the Schwarzenegger of little people, right? Pablo Schwarzenegger. He's, this is incredible. And they have regular sized people spotting him, of course, right? I don't, I don't know. That's a pretty little lift, but a lot of weight there. The aircraft is being observed, so to speak, because oil pressure on the number two engine is trending upwards. This pilot is talking. This pilot is talking. Has no idea.

Making it up. Making it up. They've told us that the plane's good to go, but I'm not really feeling it. I'm not going to leave the ground if I'm not completely certain that we have an airworthy aircraft. So I'm going to probably err on the side of caution, and I'm refusing the aircraft. So if that happens for you right now, I'm not exactly sure. I don't know if we have another airplane here at the airport, but I hate to do this to you, Wow. Whoa. Whoa, dude. Oh, I...

Dude. Me from the back. Fly! Get it up, dude, me from the back, fly. Get it up, dude. I want to go home. This is crazy. Yeah, that's true though. I mean, look, if he knew about something serious, just don't, I'm not really feeling it is not the way to, you know. You know what, dude?

Like, yawns during it. I don't know. I don't really, look, to be honest with you, I didn't get much sleep last night. And I'm kind of like, this is not lit. This isn't litty. That's crazy, dude. Oh, somebody goes, what? If somebody, no, I would, let's see.

If I was in that situation and the pilot did that, I would think that there was something seriously wrong. And I would be like, okay, fine. Let's not do it. Let's do it. I don't think I'd be mad. I'd be so mad though. Dude, I was on a plane the other day.

They got us on the plane we got on the plane and they said actually they go this was in uh denver they go because it was in i flew to denver today i went to des moines and they go all right so sorry to uh actually sorry to, uh, uh, have you boarded already. Everyone's already on, on, on the plane. We have to, uh, deboard the plane and it's going to take a few minutes. We have to change a tire on the airplane, but, um, then we'll get it fixed and we'll get you back on the plane after that. So sorry for the inconvenience, but we need to change the tire and um if we don't have the tire then we can't take off dude i it's so annoying when the pilots do that when they say the same thing 900 different ways

we're not gonna we're not gonna be able to take off like this we have a problem with the tire we gotta change the tire so um we're gonna have to deplane to take off like this. We have a problem with the tire. We got to change the tire. So we're going to have to deplane and then come back on. It should take about 20, 25, 30 minutes because we have to change the tire. So the tire is not of optimal use. And I'm not sure if that means it's flat or if there's a slow leak or if it's just time because of the, the, the, the way the tread is wearing, you know

what I mean? You know what I mean? When they do that and you're just like, dude, what does it mean though? And so, uh, it's one tire, so it should be, it should be fairly simple, but that doesn't mean that we can take, we got to get you off the plane because we got to get you off the plane because we can't have you on the plane what they have to do is raise the aircraft um and take the tire off and maybe then we'd have we'd have you bouncing all around and we can't have that and you know um you know sometimes the plane goes into a 30 degree angle even and if we have you in a 30 degree angle, then what happens is your tits fall all out. And sometimes, you know, you might go upside down, your tits fall out all over your neck. Uh, and if you don't have a bra, your tits might fall out.

And then, you know, it's a, you know, some guys, you know, if you, if you have, you know, if the plane could be at a certain angle of playing, you know, the shorts ride up and you can, then you can see the guy's balls, right. And it's, and And his full penis. And we can't have you seeing a full penis just kind of smacked up against the white leg. And we don't want to see any tits fall out. So what we're going to do is we're going to have you all de-plane, we're going to change

the tire, make sure no tits fall out, no dicks, no penises are slapped up against a white or black thigh or Asian thigh. And then we will, well, if it was an Asian thigh, it wouldn't be slapped up against it, right? Because Asians, you know, I know it's a stereotype, but we can all agree that Asians probably don't have the biggest members down there. But black, we should say black. Black, if you're black, we're saving you from basically, you know,

we're saving you from basically, you know, there will be at least one or two guys back there that could be having his penis slap against his black thigh and maybe one white guy. Probably no Asians, but anyway, so... So, anyway, we're going to fix the tire. So, we don't know if it's a slow leak, but, all right,

then, imagine, honestly, if, if a pilot said all that, oh, dude, the second he got,

and your tits fall out, I would, I would immediate, I would piss, I would piss. I would relieve myself in my pants. Oh, dude. This video was so funny. This is an old video.

I've seen it before. I don't think I've ever talked about it on the... Bro, I can't even believe how much I think... This is so funny, dude. So anyway, we were out to the fucking, uh, air,

air, airplane. And we went back on and we went off without a hitch and we made it. So all good. Dude, this guy, Snoop dog drank a whole mini bar bottle of Hennessy. And then this guy was like,

if Snoop did it, I could do it. Killed his whole motherfucking thing. Shit. If I do it, shit, if I do it, dude, I can do it, man, if I do it. Dude.

I can do it, man. I ain't gonna let the nigga show me up. Damn, you done drunk half of it already. He tried to get out of it with just tasting a little bit, you know? And it's a mini bar bottle, and he just drank a little bit of it. you know and it's it's a mini bar bottle and he just drank a little bit of it and the guy called him out i already drank done drank a half of it already and it's a small ass bottle dude i love this video look what the guy says to him you ain't i don't need no narrators is this me they only supposed to hear you

i ain't gonna let him show me up so mad i don't need no narrators they ain't going to let him show me up. So mad. I don't need no narrators. They ain't supposed to hear you. So mad. Dude, let's start it over because it's too funny. I want to see it. I want to see it. The whole thing. Just did a video and killed his whole motherfucking thing. Shit, if I do it. Shit, if I do it.

So confident, but you can see his face cracking a little bit. Look. I can do it, man. I ain't going to let that nigga show me up. Damn, you done drunk half of it already. I don't need no narrators. It's just me. They only supposed to hear you. I ain't gonna let him show me up.

Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! CUT! CUT! CUT! CUT! CUT MAN! CUT MAN FOR REAL! Dude

The The Watch him to cut it Dude I can't even At least you watched it That video killed his whole motherfucking thing Watch him to cut it. Dude, I can't even. At least you watched it. I love this part. He's so mad, dude.

I don't need no narrators. Let's so mad, dude. I don't need no narrators. I mean, they're only supposed to hear you. I ain't going to let him show me up. Let me show you that when he says cut, when he tries to say cut, when he tries to eke out the first cut, it's great, but you may not realize what he's saying. The reason why this is so funny. Okay, hold on.

Look, look, look. Dude, he doesn't even drink half of it. And he just, he actually doesn't even drink any of it all over his fucking civic dashboard all right all right so he spits all over it let's see the first time he tries to say it He sweats all over it. Let's see the first time he tries to say it. Cut.

So he's trying to say cut, dude. But he has no air in his lungs. So he goes, cut. Okay? And here's why it's so funny. You might not realize he's saying cut. Okay? He's trying to do the thing on his neck, but he can't even do it because he's got no air.

He doesn't get a pass out. All right? All right? So then the second one he has drool coming out of bottom of his mouth he's got it finally eeks one out but the best one is coming that okay the second one he it out, gets a little bit more air. Cut! Oh, fuck off! All right. So now it takes the breath.

This cut, this one that he says, is gorgeous, dude, because it's so helpless all right but he's doing everything in his power to not just say cut but to let the guy know he means business i mean what i say is what he's saying with this cut all right so if you heard the last three cuts which i i think you did you might have not heard the first one maybe not the second one but i think you heard the third one so i'm backing it up with the i i want you to know i mean what i say and that's what this one is and that's what this this cut makes the whole video right here cut cut dude cut for real. Cut. Cut, man.

Cut, man, for real. Snoop just did a video and killed me. I love how happy he is in the beginning and how not happy he is at the end. I'm sorry. I got to watch it again. That's that cut. Shit, I do it. I can do it, man. I ain't gonna let that nigga show me up.

Damn, you done drunk half of it already. I'm sorry. That part is so funny, dude. I'm sorry, but that part is so funny because the guy just wants him to shut up. I don't need no narrators. It's just me. They only supposed to hear you.

I ain't gonna let him show me up. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Wait, this one. This one. Cut.

Cut, man. Cut, man man for real it's so good it's just beautiful you know videos like this this is why they're great that this is why it's great that the internet exists this kind of shit remember the one where the guy dies

he doesn't die but he dude I already talked about on this podcast when he when he hold on I He doesn't die. Dude, I already talked about it on this podcast. When he's in the car. Hold on. We've already done it before, but we got to do it. We got to do it again. This is one of my favorite videos.

Okay. My favorite one is still chocolate croissants, but this one is up there. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Let me type this in. Hold on. Hold on.

This one is. Hold on. here we go i hope it comes up yes here it is guys in the car sleeping in his car dude this is so funny, man. So the guy's getting out of his car because there's another guy who's asleep. And he walks over to the guy's car. It's a Ford Taurus, I think. Ford Taurus. Guy's sleeping in his car.

Dude, this is so funny. I can't even believe it, dude. All right. Do you remember this one? Do you know? Yeah. So the guy wakes up. And now the car starts going.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. He hits a stop sign, stops a little bit. He blinkers on for no reason. And then he drives over. The guy's just fucking feeling like doesn't stop. Props to the dude. Oh, shit. I said the one. Come on. oh shit i shouldn't have woke him up oh my god oh my god dude oh my god

oh my god dude the realization of and he shouldn't have all come out too is the best part and the way the guy's so quiet the whole time until the end oh fuck man all right this is i don't mean to be doing so many reaction videos but holy shit that one is so funny oh fuck oh my god oh shit i shouldn't have woke him up oh boy sorry i went potty yeah uh uh I was, sorry, I went potty. I was, dude, I watched this show on Apple TV. Apple TV is smart, dude, because when I go to Apple TV, you have to go to the store first before you go to apple plus whatever it is their subscription stuff that you subscribe to so sometimes i'll go like oh once it's on apple tv i go to apple tv

apple plus tv tv plus whatever it's called and it takes me to the store and i go oh yeah i go i'm gonna watch that and then you spend money to rent something or or buy that that's what happened with godzilla minus one and um by the way they made a black and white version of godzilla minus one and they call it godzilla minus one minus color and it's just like all right you, you know. And it looks dope, though. And so, going to get it, sucker. So I go on Apple TV and I turn on this, you know, I'm looking at things that are out and coming out. Apple TV, they have the worst titles, dude.

Like a new show they are doing is called trying like just gave up like just the titles that apple tv has are just they're they're phenomenally bad right um and like that one with uh jennifer garner whatever that one was and then the one with um the guy who played uh charlie hunnan whatever his name is that that name whatever that one was was horrible name but anyway whatever i don't get into that but um the there's a a a a show called drops of god And I, and I'm like, sounds horrible. All right. But also sounds like that. That's so drops of God would so be something that like was made in South America and it was about a gang. Right. And it's not, I look at it and I only see white people in the trailer. I'm like, what is this? It's French. It's, it's Spanish. It's Japanese. Also,

it's got three languages in it. Okay. And, and English and it, and, and it's about Somalias. Okay. Now, if you don't know what a Somalia is, uh, it's somebody who for lack of a better way to describe it, because I'm an idiot is someone who tastes wine. Okay. Now there are only 269 sommeliers worldwide. Okay. Worldwide, which means one of two things, either it's really hard to get that job or job sucks. Okay. Now it's probably a little bit of both, all right? But what I mean by that is I don't mean to knock any Somalias because I love people who are so into their singular vision. And basically, you know, I mean, it's one of these things.

I wonder how many Somalias have autism. And that's fine, and I'm not saying that's bad. That's a good thing. Some people kill it with autism. You know, Elon Musk, right? bad that's a good thing some people kill it with autism you know they do look at elon musk right um so but to be able to taste all the things you know they'll be like oh i'm tasting limestone i feel like it's probably from this from the from from the uh from the north of spain because of the grapes because of the summer that that they experience is not long and so it doesn't get the

the grape to ripen as much as as much as we possibly need it to so and is also why the the uh the color is uh a little bit darker than the normal like for them to be saying those things and to know those things there should only be 200 people in the world that can do that and they can they got like a a mouth of a of a like a like a dog sniffer like they just know so i'm like all right this show could be something that i'm very interested in it all right but i don't give a shit about somali some look i dude i don't even drink wine i never drank wine okay so it's like this show better be top notch for me to watch so i go all right apple tv let's do it let's put your fucking streaming service to the test so i play it i play the thing

first show now was okay now it has to be okay, all right? Because it can't be – there has to be – it's such a world that you need to be actual stuff and action, not that there is action, but like the stakes of the show, all right? So I'm watching the first show and it's okay. And I go like this, the show stops and the episode ends and I say, all right, all right, Apple TV, okay, I'll give it another shot. Dude, I watch it again. All right, now my wife is on her computer. Dude, because she is locked in. She's locked in with her ADD to the computer, not giving up, trying to figure something out on her computer. I don't know. It's about furniture or some shit.

Who knows, right? But I'm watching Drops of God. Dude, it's in another language most of the time, all right? And I go, huh, Apple TV. Let's keep it rolling. I watch the second episode. And I, by the end of the second episode, I go, I say out loud, okay, okay, wow. And I look over to my wife who was on her computer and she says, play the next one. And I'm like, you fucking Apple TV, dude.

Did you get us invested in Somalias? Did you get us invested in two people battling over tasting something, dude? And so then I play the third episode and I am so into it, dude. I am nervous for the people. Nothing's happening. All they're doing is tasting wines and they might as well be Ethan Hunt. They might as well be Ving Rhames talking to Ethan Hunt in Ghost Protocol. They might as well, dude.

And I love this show. And I'm on episode six, dude. And it's got episode. And of course, I'm on the road. My wife finished it because that's what she does. And she says it wraps up nicely. And I can't wait to watch the next two episodes tonight. Drops of God, dude. and she says it wraps up nicely and i can't wait to watch the next two episodes tonight drops of god dude and then i go and here's what really hooked me in i'm watching this now i know it's going to be boring and that's fine boring things are my favorite things okay maybe that's

the wrong word for it boring okay but i'm watching this thing and when i'm watching it i look it up it's based on a manga uh magazine but that was to call it right manga dude it's a japanese uh comic book or whatever they call it, graphic novel, dude, about wine. So I'm like, dude, what would make the thing more not wanting to see than a TV show? And a book sounds, you know, people read books about everything because you could talk about what people are thinking. You can read a book about literally nothing, just a guy sitting down thinking about things. That's what a lot of books are, honestly, just some guy pontificating. So a book about sommeliers, okay, I get it.

Dude, a picture book of art drawn with people talking and then the bubbles of what they're saying i got this has to be i gotta give this a shot dude it's so fucking good and nobody's talking about it and nobody's talking about it it's good to lose lose your lose lose your mind watching a show that you just didn't think was going to be. Because here's the thing too, I'm going through something. It's hard to do this episode. I'm going through, my dog Butters, one of my Yorkies, is passing away.

And he might be gone by the time this comes out. And I didn't want to bring it up, but I feel like I should. gone by the time this comes out. And I didn't want to bring it up, but I feel like I should. He's got, his calcium levels are so, he's got a mass in his neck and it's up against his pituitary gland or thyroid. And it's limiting his calcium to his body. And his calcium is really low. And he threw up the other day and all his calcium and exited his body we had to take him to the hospital the vet and we took him to the hospital and they leveled out his um calcium he did his calcium levels um and then uh they were like he's not gonna you know we could put him down or you could take him home

and we could try to medicate him. We could try to figure out what this mass is, but that's really expensive. And then we got to remove it and that's really expensive. And I don't think that we will, that's not a cure. So I was like, oh Jesus. All right, so let's take him home. We'll medicate him as much as we can.

And they get, dude, I think the vet was tricking me because I was like like what do you what do you give to him to to make him feel bad to to to what's the medicine to give to him and she and she just says toms and i'm like the people kind and she's like well there's no doggy time so we went we got tom toms and we just feed butters toms like he's my mom after she ate Jack in the box. And like, and, and, and, and so we thought that we were going to take him home and he was just going to get, go into cardiac arrest, which she was like, but the vet was like, by the way, the vet was like, you know, that's not a bad way to go. It's better than, than a lot of other ways, just because it happens instantly. And then,

you know, then they, their heart stops and they die. And I'm just like, Jesus Christ. instantly and then you know then they their heart stops and they die and i'm just like jesus christ and so um we took them home uh i was on the road but uh my you know my family took them home and it's been god anytime someone says it's been i think oh it's been one week that you look to me it was a fucking cake song is it it cake? What is it? No. Bare naked ladies? Yes, ma'am. One week. I'm doing that so I don't have to feel upset about my dog. But and so now Butters, it looks like nothing's wrong.

I mean, he's just like moving around. I mean, he was twitching. He was like twitching. That's where we took him into the hospital or the vet and then the hospital. But, uh, so we're giving him calcium every now and then, and he seems okay. We thought he was going to be dead already and he's not. So we have like these extra days with him, which is really sweet. And he's still alive and it's been four days and they said he was going to die. So I'm like, do I get my hopes up or, or not? Cause he's 12 already, which is honestly kind of young for a Yorkie, but it's a long life, you know, um, for a dog. So I'm just like, what's the quality of life? What do we do? But right now he's fucking still kicking. So'm just like sad about it you know i am sad about it

um you don't you don't think about this stuff until like you don't think about that stuff really i don't know it's weird like your dogs are like i love my dogs and i pet them, you know, and stuff. And I don't feed them. You know, it's usually my wife or my nanny feeds them. But, like, you know, throw the ball with them and stuff and lay with them. And, you know, it's a weird thing because, like, that's like they're one day, they're just going to not be there. You have to go through it. If you get a dog, you're going to outlive it unless you're, you know, 70 or if you get hit by a car or if you both do, you and the dog. But it's like, he's just not going to be there. It's weird. And I was getting emotional on the road because I couldn't be there, but I don't, a lot of times I just don't feel, I'll make myself focus on

something else. I'm really good at compartmentalizing, which is good and bad. I mean, it's good for my job, but it's bad for life. And I mean, you know know i think you need it to live a lot you need you need to compartmentalize to so you don't lose your mind sometimes but you know i definitely got good at it and and now i'm good at it for my job but it's like i don't want to feel all the fucking pain like and i get sad i start thinking about like how i got butters and sam together and then you know how they used to piss and shit all over my apartment in uh on cold water canyon man they used to piss and shit on the curtains and i just didn't give a fuck bro i was 32 and you know people would come over and they'd be like oh it smells like shit and i'd be like oh yeah there it smells like shit, and I'd be like, oh, yeah, there's probably dog shit over there, and there was. I didn't give a shit. I kept it

gangster with my dogs. They get the shit where they want to. I had a little balcony, and I would often be like, come on, guys, go out there, and they just would go like this and not go out there, and I'd go, all right, it's a losing battle. They pissed on the curtain so much, dude, that it was so acidic that that bottom of the curtain was a different curtain than the top of the curtain and it was and it was not when i got it it was the same pattern afterwards it was a different pattern straight up it was just piss stained and so acidic and it was disgusting but dude never quite potty trained those motherfuckers you know um they're good now though but sometimes they still piss in the bathroom though like they'll take a shit in my bathroom,

which is at least nice, they're doing it in the same room, but Sam's still around, kicking, Butters is still kicking, I don't know if he'll be around next podcast, it's just sad, and I never dealt with it really,

I never dealt with an animal that died, like when I was a kid, my dog died, but that was, my parents dealt with it. And now it's like, this is my dog. And he, what do I do if he just dies in the bed? Whoa.

Then what? I bring him somewhere. Oh, fuck, dude. Do I call someone? It's sad. I think I'll just lay with him for a while. You know? I'll just lay with them for a while.

You know? And then I started thinking about like taxidermy. And I'm like, it's got this like creepy thing. I was like, you don't do taxidermy, you know? But I'm like, if I had just got down to earth brand new and I was 40 and I had a friend for five years and then he died

and now I'm 45 and I don't know anything about death really you know it's just me and this dude that's on earth and I go and he's like not moving anymore now

because he's dead and he's not talking I for sure if I don't know anything I just leave him there and I go And he's like not moving anymore now because he's dead and he's not talking. I for sure, if I don't know anything, I just leave him there and I go, all right, I'll leave him there. I'll hang around because what if he gets back up? Like if you don't know what that, you know what I'm saying? Like I'm talking about you. You simply don't know what it is.

So I'll wait till he gets back up and I'll just sit around. I'll make I'll make some s'mores and shit and I'll just wait. And then he's not getting up for like five days. Right then it starts to stink but we're outside maybe and i'm like is that him even i don't even know i go up to smell i'm like oh i think it is him next few days ago by then he starts to like look different right like they start to sink into the ground and i'm just like oh fuck he's going away you know it's like he it's like did thanos snap you know like i don't understand what's happening but then it's like you know i could see a world where i don't know what death is and then i get into oh shit uh what if i pretended he wasn't dead

what if I just stuffed him full of like you know leaves and shit and okay it's a trial by error you know more people die you're like oh you go oh the ground didn't work he still died and became part of the ground and then you know you don't even know you try to make concoctions and then maybe you get

the stuff that finally works you try cotton or you try you know tree branches and then they just kind of look like fucking you know uh opposed wacky inflatable so it's like oh that's not good but you get good at it maybe you get good at taxidermy you don't even know what it's called but you get good at it and then you just like are like oh my buddy died but uh you know it's not this socially weird thing to, to taxidermy something now, because I just kind of like, it's just what I chose to do. And now they're just kind of sitting with me at the campfire and yeah, they're not saying much, anything really at all.

And they're not doing anything, but my fucking buddy's still here. And that's kind of dope in a way you know so people do taxidermy with like moose heads and deer and squirrels and fox but i'm like is it really that weird to do it with your dog and i know people do it people have done it you know there's all sorts of weird probably shows uh about it on fucking uh the id channel or whatever and it's like if i just had butters standing you know looking or one of his things that he would do like he'd lay down a lot maybe i just get him taxidermied like he was just and i just like where do you where do you put him first of all i get it

do you put him out or do you put him in the closet somewhere or do you put him outside or what the fuck and then when you my main thing is when you move what do you do you you bring it but then it's like something you pack so then you just have it and then you die eventually and then you just nobody taxidermies you because you're a person so you just die and then you get buried and then there's just this dog that someone had around that's taxidermied so what do you do with that like what, what do I do if somebody dies and their dog is taxidermied? I'm the next of kin. What do I do with that dog?

Fucking what is it, a bookend now? You know, so I don't want Butters to be a bookend for somebody later on. So it's like, I guess I'll just bury him. Or do ashes and then hold him, have him on the mantle or something. It's all really fucking sad i've had them for 12 years but that's what fucking happened you don't think of it when you get a dog when you buy when you buy or adopt or rescue a dog you are basically just acquiring pain in 10 or 15 years. And you just go like this.

I am going to have this pain in 12 to 15 years, and that's just how it's going to be. And I'm welcoming it. I'm welcoming it. How crazy is that? These white chicks don't have a clue when they get that little Yorkie or get that little yorkie or get that little that the little chorizo what the fuck do they call them chihuahuas they get the little chihuahua and they bring them

everywhere they don't even know what they're doing dude setting themselves up to just break in 12 15 years so i got fucking four dogs and that's gonna happen with four of them and only one of them i really don't care about so cooper's gonna be rough man they're all the same age too um all right well sorry to end on such a sour note dude but anyway i feel like i wanted to get that off my chest and i felt like a little bit down this week because of it. So at least I saw those videos that made me laugh. But thanks for listening, guys. And honestly, you can go to chrislee.com and get all those tickets. I'm going to be in Duluth, Minnesota for fuck's sake.

So don't say I don't do things for you because I'm coming there for no reason. I won't make as much money in Duluth as I will in Boston. I'm just doing it to do it. So come, you know. Petersburg, Ontario. Where is it? London. I think I've played before London, Ontario.

But yeah, go to chrislee.com. Oh, and in Australia. I'll be there. So, thanks a lot. And sign up for our Patreon. That's it for the episode on YouTube. If you want to get the rest of the episode, go to patreon.com. And you can also get the other episodes that we, go to patreon.com slash chrisdalia. And you can also

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