Congratulations with Chris D'Elia - 470. Crazy Disneyland

Episode Date: October 23, 2025

Get a shoutout on Congratulations: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠holler.baby/chrisdelia⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🎤 Watch GROW OR DIE on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WATCH⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 😏 Wondering where the missing episodes are? they're on Patreon: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/chrisdelia⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Extended episodes + 1 whole extra episode every month. Also no ads. This week Chris is back from Europe. Coffee shops in Amsterdam, the Red Light District, Big Ben, drunk Irish hecklers, and so much more. This episode's got it all! Spread the love using the hashtag #congratulationspod on Instagram, X, and everywhere else, and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.  📸 Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠instagram.com/chrisdelia⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🕺 TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tiktok.com/@chrisdelia⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🎮 Twitch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠twitch.tv/chrisdelialive⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 𝕏 X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠x.com/chrisdelia⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 👤 Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠facebook.com/chrisdeliaofficial⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Runk It is 470 episode 470 of Congratulations, so congratulations you're here congratulations um we are uh it's episode 470 and you know what dude i my voice was fine okay it was absolutely fine uh and then just in the middle of the day it goes no so it it it now it's now it's just raspy okay so number one uh i'm i'm sorry about the difference of my voice it's a little more raspy number two you're welcome for the sexiness all right because everyone knows raspy voices are sexy except on women well no sometimes on women if you get like a you know

i don't know if you like dominatrix and shit but like uh magic mind here let's do this let's put magic mind in my body and um yeah dude uh hello i'm a world i'm a world traveler hello hello dude i felt like james bond but only the funny version johnny english watch both johnny english's last night watch johnny english won and johnny english reborn and if you think i won't watch johnny english reloaded or whatever it is that came on 2018 tonight you're dead wrong dude what's his name rowan atkinson is so funny um and that's what's up so i watched out on the plane, dude. Look, man, a lot of stuff. First, oh, also, let me just say last week, sorry, there was no episode. And because I was in Europe, dude. I was jet setting.

Nothing beats a jet to a holiday. And I walked by jet to a holiday. It's real. I, I knew it was real, but it's like, hmm, I knew it was an actual thing, but I thought it was in the 90s. It's a real thing that you can do now, Jet 2 Holiday. So there must be enjoying some kind of, you know, surge in business. I would think, even though it always has to do with a guy like pooping in his pants and stuff or vomiting on a squirrel. So, but I did, let's see, what did I do? I did a bunch of shows. I flew out with Kristen.

I actually I never do this but I wrote some stuff down just because I thought it was going to be so long because I haven't recorded a podcast in three weeks dude but I went to oh and I ranked the cities London I ranked the shows just so you know where he's where he went number one show London number two Stockholm number three Copenhagen number three Gothenburg number four Amsterdam number five wait did I get it mixed up number six I I missed a number in there. Number six, Oslo. Number seven, absolutely Dublin. What's up, Ireland? Get it together. But, yeah, so, I,

I was, I took a, I took a, what is this? Oh, that's what I took, man, I can't find what the heck I was trying to do here. And now I'm pissed. Oh, okay, got it. um we got to i took my wife to first we went to oslo which look i'm going to be honest with you i know

nothing about oslo as a matter of fact where is it you know and then i go oh yeah when i find out it's norway i go oh yeah that's right that makes sense oslo's in norway and then i'm going to do denmark and i'm going to do also uh sweden and then you find out where they are and they're all kind of like it's basically like new york new jersey and connecticut and there's and there's like you know maybe a million people in each and they're all just like yeah yeah yeah and um they all got art and shit they got like museums that christin wanted to go to museums in amsterdam amsterdam was crazy because i learned a lot about world war two the amsterdam version of it amsterdam was basically just, yo, we kind of

chilled in World War I. You best believe we're going to chill in World War II. We're going to, you know, you know the whole thing in World War I, how it came and went, and we just kind of were chilling? We're going to try to do that thing. We're going to try to do that thing again. And then Rotterdam

exploded because Hitler goes, no and then just destroyed rotterdam so then Amsterdam goes oh okay well we'll do whatever you say because don't be passive be passive once don't be passive twice if someone is aggressive towards you you first of all be aggressive towards them or be passive maybe once or be passive maybe one Once? Twice? No. That's the thing. You set up, you set an example, right? Amsterdam was basically like the battered. It had battered women. Or no, it didn't. It had the opposite, right? Anyway, yeah, it had the opposite. It was a happy housewife is what it was. Just fucking spending money and chilling. And then a real, then Ike Turner came along. Anyway, if it makes any sense, whatever. but so we were in Amsterdam and Amsterdam is let me just tell you right first of all Amsterdam also is fine it you know it had like this cool coffee chain that I enjoyed there was no dude there's no I didn't see one star bucks in all of the cities except for London

um oh and a la a have cold brew man how you don't have cold brew okay fine and then it's like I just want a regular coffee, and I can only get that in half the places? And then it was like, are you going to say coffee? They say, what? And you say, oh, just like a brew? And they say, Americano? And you're like, no. And they're like flat white?

And you're like, ah, no. And then you just say espresso, because that's the only thing that they have that you know. going to be what it is is so i drank a lot of espresso they got this espresso house over in fucking europe is absolutely nice dude i was drinking hot espresso like i was fucking interesting dude just drinking it in that little cup just holding it i don't even fucking do it with the pinky i hold the pinky on the little fucking handle too because by the way this isn't charging um but yeah i um also the crowd was like so polite i just wanted them to let loose and they clapped so many times but didn't laugh hard which is hilarious i do a bit and they go and it was

super weird it's not charging um oh has an idea and then and then i went to answer them so Here's the thing about Ashtonam, okay. Zero scooters, only bicycles and some small cars. But the bicycles are out of control, dude. I can't even tell you how many bicycles there were. I can't even fucking tell you. You got to look where you go. I almost got hit nine times.

I'm this stupid American. That's the one thing I didn't want to be when I was over there. Anywhere. Anywhere over there. I didn't want to be the stupid American, right? because what they do and it was fall all right

and they were all bundled up like ready and it wasn't that cold so I'm walking around in a fucking short t-shirt and I got a I got a fanny pack dude

because I needed to get my passport because I lost my wallet twice dude I keep my passport in it I keep my money I keep my euros in it and I don't care how I looked but it wasn't it wasn't uh it wasn't uh wasn't uh wasn't uh wasn't uh wasn't cold so they were all bundled up and i was like does it just happen like all of a sudden in europe where it just gets cold immediately and they go oh okay see said this way but it was fine the whole time

except in dublin where everything's ugly but um so i'm in amsterdam and dude it's like a you know what amsterdam is a place any woman would fucking love and i'm not saying i don't love it i loved it but my god when you go into the city of amsterdam and you see the fucking canals and the bicycles and the fucking you know tall stringy lanky dudes you know they look like that guy from fucking uh game of thrones right the lannister guys how they're so stretched out those motherfuckers zero fat people and every other store or a house apartment looks like a cathedral and there's boats and canals and it's just every woman goes there and just gets off the plane goes to the city of amsterdam

and absolutely creams and i'm serious high-pitched noise is like i can't do it because my voice but christmas like you know this is where the i don't know she was telling me me some sort of art was was um uh made you're like you know this was where the it was like it's like ceramic or no the china ceramic whatever the she's like you know this is where they created it and i was like oh no i have no idea what the hell that is and she's like well we're going to go to a store for it and we did and then he realized every store is for it too many weed shops and you know what to call weed shops coffee shops bro i walked in a coffee shop and i said hey dude do you have ice coffee and the guy said what

and i said do you have anything iced and he says i have weed and i said huh and he said that is my product and i said okay where's coffee and he points across the street and there was a cafe across the street you want cover you can go there and I'm like, the fuck, this is called coffee house, coffee shop. That'd be like if you called a car lot oranges for sale. That'd be like if you called a fucking pizza hut, hey, we have hats. It's just not that. Pants unlimited, you go in.

only shirts you guys got pants what nah we got shirts you want pants you got to go over there that's a clothing store the fuck are you talking about you called it the fucking thing so amsterdam was beautiful and it was nice and i found a gym there yeah i did they got this place called like train more yeah i went bro it was like a fucking nightclub dude everyone was fit and i was in there too and i had banged my fucking i only about this i only hit my head once in europe and that's a place where you hit your head so much guarantee it if you're an american you go to you go to a european country you're supposed to hit your head at least twice and i only hit it once on a fucking huge sticking out sconce

and it hurt so bad i heard i i fucking saw a white light and i oh i thought i was going to pass out and i go off oh and christin didn't do anything and i wanted her to be like oh my god you okay and i just got fucking more upset but then it had a huge get it's still here a little bit you can see it and it looked like a zit dude which i didn't even get the credit for getting a fucking bonk i look like i fucking i'm on my period or some shit just a third eye Oh, fuck. So I got so much coffee. I found a fucking stroop waffle place.

Dude, the names are these fucking things in there. Yeah, you want to try a stroop waffle? Huh? I did. I tried half a strup waffle. That was the only sweets I had. The whole fucking time I was in Europe, he fucking did it.

He revamped his whole fucking eating strategy. Dude, he's shit. head weight there were fucking no scales and then he got home and he realized he lost 12 pounds of absolute fat and dude he he ate so much protein it was incredible and i'm talking about me chicken protein bars different kinds of fucking protein bars from Norway thinking what is this having a delight because it's oh i guess this one cinnamon had no fucking idea had nothing cinnamon on the package i guess it said cinnamon on the package but it's foreign i had no idea but okay what a nice

fucking surprise thanks cinnamon anyway um christin wanted to go to some world war two museum we went and i had a fucking that's the thing about the food over there in europe man they don't know what the fuck they're doing the bro and i know i know i know i know Europeans would take offense to this, but Europeans don't know what the fuck they're doing when it comes to food. Bro, yeah, I said it. They'll just be like, nine potatoes for dinner, yeah.

And you're like, what? Nine potatoes with tons of cheese. Tons of cheese and nine potatoes. and something called like wet rice and you're like what is that ew and it comes out and he's like what the fuck is that wet right and then but dude i ate this dutch meal that was fucking fantastic so you know every night and then you get a nice surprise i went to a dutch place and i go can i have the chicken bowl and she said yeah and i go and i said what is this place she was like what I was like, what is this food?

I'm just like, it's a Dutch food. And I was like, oh, fuck yeah. So they did it right. Obviously, Italy knows what the fuck. London, straight up beans and the tomato. It's so annoying you go to breakfast for London and they're like, and some paper, mate. And some paper and a pair of sunglasses and joy.

Yeah, fucking make eggs, you fucking assholes. Crack eggs. oh a big piece of toast and a fucking tomato hey i'll it's not even good for you dude if you're gonna have something that bland at least have it be bad at least have it if you're gonna have something that uh bad for you at least have it be taste and mighty with amex platinum access to exclusive amex pre-sale tickets can score you as our track side so being a fan for life turns into the trip of a lifetime. That's the powerful backing of Amex.

Pre-sale tickets for future events subject to availability and varied by race. Terms and conditions apply. Learn more at amex.ca. slash Yanex. Um, so Amsterdam, we went to the red light district. Me and my wife, it was her idea.

So don't get it fucking twisted. She's just like, I want to see. I go, you want to see? She's like, yeah. Went to the red light district. And let me tell you something about the red light district. okay i it's one of those things if those you don't know what a red light district is if you're mormon or something uh what it is is hose

and you can buy hose for like the average is six minutes is what the average actually is i looked it up now i i i don't even won't really want to call them hoes because I have a thing where the only real ho is someone who doesn't admit they're a ho. That's my rule. If you're hoeing it up and you're like, look, I like sex. My fucking my pussy gets handled all the time by different men. Fuck you. You're not really a ho. A hoe hides it. to me you know what i'm saying to me a ho is like no i only slept with you know two guys and then you find out they slept with 30 that's a ho to me okay now i get society says what it says and you know even though we're living in the the years of empowerment of women it's still looked down

upon if you get a lot of you know male partners but you know you go to amsterdam where weed every other place is a fucking weed place and then there's a section for just you know women where they they stand in boxes and and you walk by them and they wink at you and they go like this and they go like you know unless you're like i see i saw guys get turned down dude it's it's sad because like yo getting turned down by a hooker see oh what was that no oh i got to go eliminate myself that's crazy i assume it's weirdness though it's not looks right like you could probably be pretty ugly but so i'm walking to these uh you know i'm with my wife and i'm holding her too because i don't want anybody to get it twisted because not because people do recognize me over in europe not as many in

america but last thing i want is like oh chris is that red light district so i'm with my wife and she's like can't make eye contact with them and i'm like you got to make eye contact with them she's like nah it makes me feel so weird i feel like i shouldn't even be here and i'm like yeah i know but you're not experiencing it's not like we have to go in and fuck them but you have to go look in their eyes and and see the excitement and pain for both of us for them and you for them because they do this and for you because this is what the world's come to so i'm not going to lie dude it's one of those places that i didn't think even though i knew it was real I felt like there was some part of it

that when I got there, they were going to be like, psych, it's only hand jobs. Sike, it's plump women and you only get hand jobs, which is pretty much what the States is, right?

You can go into a strip club, find the plump one, and just get yanked off. You can, dude. There. I spoil. Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert.

You want to go to a strip club in the States, especially deep in the valley. You want to find a plump one and get yanked off. You can. Spoiler alert. Okay? So, um,

so I thought when you got to Amsterdam, there was a part of me, even though I knew it wasn't going to have it. There was a part of me to be like, psych. sit down here's a plump chick you're getting yanked they just do eye contact the hot ones but no i i i got there and i saw the and let me tell you something dude they're really when people are like yeah they're hot too i go yeah all right dude what kind of what kind of women

do you think are hot though you know obviously some guys you talk to a fat guy and he's like oh yeah she's hot you go i have to see you know what i'm saying but i go and first of all i don't know there's like 600 ladies working a night or something and a lot of them were very hot and i go i go And I'm like, if I was 25, fuck it, if I was 34 and single, fuck it, even with someone, I would have destroyed myself. I would have absolutely contracted syphilis, well, I guess they're safe, I don't know, but. throw that dog outside put it outside put the dog outside he's insane just put him outside we have a nice back care don't think i'm abusing him um like the guy what's his name who fucking

had a shock collar on his dog or something hassan you know whatever i'm honestly all four shock collars because you don't need to have one you get a bark all right you don't play the fucking hard ball let's go i don't want to put the bar collar on you i don't want to do this I don't want to do it. It doesn't look good. Dude, it looks like you're fucking, you know what I mean?

Carrying change in it. Like it looks like you got to roll of quarters under your fucking. I don't want to, I don't want to do it. But anyway, so we're at the red light district. And I had Kristen, I was like,

yeah, look at them, dude. And she looked at them and they were like, and one of them goes like this. Both of you come in. And I was like, oh my God.

Dude, that is crazy. Dude, that is the, there is, let me tell you something. There's no fucking way in hell. I would do that. No matter how it would be, no matter how it would be, no matter how it would feel, and no matter how the splurt might rock it. I would never. If you're going to do a threesome, you got to do it with women you don't really know.

You can't do it with one you know really well and then one you don't, dude. You know why? You're fucked, dude. wait a minute you know how if the if the hold on wait a minute doesn't come in the middle of being horizontal oh it's coming a week later a month later five years later well wait a minute that's not how it was when we were at the thing and we met that lady and i agreed to take it oh dude you need to know too and this is coming from a guy who's had to The cat's out of the bag.

He's at brisomes. You gotta know him equally. Or a little bit skewed, but you can't. Dude. Are you crazy? Stop the cap. Absolutely not.

You're in for a world of shit, man. If you're like, yeah, sweetie, I love you. And I've loved you for years. You fancy that, huh? Let's do it. Previously on your marriage. Dude, there's no way.

So we don't. So we don't. We never would. She would never. But, you know, as a guy, you go, this is crazy Disneyland. You go, this is crazy Disneyland. Because then you go into a bar and somebody's just like, what do you want and then somebody gets a drink and then some fucking lady comes up to me

and she's like um wow hey guys to we were i was sitting there with christin and she comes in and she's like wow hey guys wow you're beautiful to christin and i was like oh yeah and she's so drunk that she's like it's like she's fucking like trying to get my attention in in fucking in in fire like she's just standing next to me and just so drunk and she's like you're beautiful you're lucky man and i'm like i'm very lucky thank you very much where you're beautiful do you know where the bathroom is i'm just like no but i i'll put money on it's in the back you know when if i was a waiter god let me tell you something if i was a server or a waiter or whatever the fuck major d you know and someone asked me that what the fucking bathroom was i would

get that would be my shit that would be my falling down moment where i'd be like did you look guess guess what do you think it's outside in the front what you think it's next to where you're parked hey hey look at me where you think it is oh yeah the back yeah down that hallway that's the only hallway yeah yeah next to the kitchen right there when you walk over you take a right right yeah yeah that's me yeah you got it and then i would just leave get a short sleeve shirt a fucking tie some glasses and just start and shoot motherfuckers like michael douglas no i don't want that burger i want that burger that's me movie's amazing was talking about this with my buddy the other day michael douglas hey if you ever think

you're getting another movie star like michael douglas michael douglas kiss my ass bro oh what could he do hmm okay well let's just go down the list drama yeah uh comedy yeah leading man sexy type shit yeah thrillers yeah i mean god damn it they can make a documentary about fucking michael douglas and it would be you'd be like this that guy you know now we got guys that are not bad like i really like a lot of the actors out there you know ryan gosling is good well i remembered his name for the fucking first time ever i remembered his name sam sam sam rockwell fuck yeah dude he's getting better he's getting better um so michael douglas just did it all calm he could go he could be in a fucking you know like a tel telenovela honestly and he would just step right into character in a in a in a mexican movie made in mexico

and where he had to wear like a where there was a shootout in the fucking early 1900s and he had a sombrero and he'd get shot he'd step right in and he'd get shot and he'd go I like he'd know exactly what to do those motherfuckers always get shot backwards why did Mexicans think that back then anyway um did you put him outside oh i got four dogs dude and so anyway i was talking about michael douglas but what was i talking about for real though what was i talking about fuck i need a stenographer no i wasn't done with amsterdam but i was talking about michael douglas a falling down moment. What was the falling down moment I was talking about?

Oh, the waiter. And then what was, what got me to the waiter? God, I was deep in the fucking beans. Jesus Christ. The bathroom in the back. Yeah, but before that, I was talking about something. I fucking wound deep in the beans. Kristen and the woman. Christen was, oh, yes. Fuck yeah, dude. He helped.

Stenographer over here, fucking one higher. so she's like what you're beautiful where's the bathroom and i was like i don't know and she kept on doing that and standing and i looked at it and i said are you a ghost and christin laughed and she said am i a ghost no do i look a ghost that's what she said do i look a ghost and the whole trip we were saying do what look a ghost oh shit yeah dude we'll remember that you know we'll remember that i'll forget the world war two museum but we'll remember that um then we went to go you know christian'll just be like we got to go today on frank house and i'm like all right and she's like and then i find out first of all he can't get tickets second of all there's no furniture in there and third of all you don't

even get to go in the attic so basically your apartment shopping you're basically looking for a condo hey i want to see the attic obviously i understand why we can't because we can't have nice things if you go up in the attic it's only going to be you know a few months until some dirty american jerks off in the corner or something or some you know German you know comes up and just takes a dump I mean whatever but I'm saying so

we go to the Aunt Frank house and we look at it that's all we're doing we're looking at it and it's wild dude I mean she was 15 years old when she died she died in the concentration camp from typhoid fever um

that's it's just it's really wild god that's what looking at that museum i went to the i think i went was it the was it the anne frank museum i don't remember what museum it was it was off the beaten path a little bit but we went and um to see the like to see like pictures of people and they'd be like this was a jew hunter he would go in and like trick the jews on like how to they would escape but he would end up killing them and he ended up killing like six thousand of them this way and you're just like oh my god dude oh my god i know there's a comedy podcast but jesus christ dude um when we landed we landed in

frankfort the connecting flight we flew to frankfort and then you have like a two-hour flight from frank for i get an hour and a half to uh oslo and and they check you in i you know what i got to google this is is frankford airport the biggest airport in the world i i i just go it has to be no it says no frankford airport is not the biggest airport in the world but is the largest airport in germany and one of the busiest in europe okay largest in germany is nothing germany has like fucking 95 people in it so then it is also one of the busiest international airports in the world okay cool however the king thawd international airport are larger by land than area

that's hard to believe at land is bigger wow that's hard to believe too I know Atlanta's the biggest in America, but my God, dude, you go to the Frankfurt airport and it's like another Germany inside Germany and you go and you check in and then you have to fucking take a bus and then like a fucking canoe to get to the flight. It's unbelievable. And if you have a problem, forget it. Yes, I understand what you're saying. But we cannot help you with something like that. as I said.

What? What have the customers? What having the customer service? There isn't any. We don't have it. Move, go. Ow, shocking you. Get in there.

Your seat 7B. My shit says business class. I don't care. Sit. Ow. we connected and then got to fucking uh nor we went to oslo and then amsterdam and then after amsterdam christin i hit my head so fucking hard on that goddamn scons fuck sconces bro let me just tell you something right now fuck sconces and you might be thinking

what's a sconce and i'll tell you okay my mom loves sconces dude and women they they go nuts over sconces. Sconses in Amsterdam, you're getting laid. You understand? If you want to bring, you go on at first date in Amsterdam, bring her to a plate.

No, you take a lady to Amsterdam and you bring her to a place with sconces. Seal the deal. It's fucking baby-making time. Turn on some fucking big mic. Let's go. I'm just a plan. Player, player.

Player, player. I'm just a player, player, player. Yeah. Hell yeah, bitch, you like them sconces. Ha, brr. All the way to answer them with them sconces, huh? I'm just a player, player, player. Player, player.

Hell yeah, turn on that big mic. From the ghetto voice. so um dude what if there was somebody that listened to this podcast that knew about every reference i made they would think it was fucking awesome but they don't but nobody does and it's just me losing my mind instead of that um so sconces in amsterdam forget it a shit when my head was bleeding fucking fucking fucking

bleeding dude anyway we go um she leaves now i got now i got now i got got got gothenberg now i go to gothenberg and gottenberg is simply a sad place Now, I don't mean that, no, I don't, it wasn't a sad, but I was sad in Gothenburg. And I think it's because my wife left. And then I was utterly, utterly alone. 7,000 miles away from my family. You know? Like, just on sabbatical.

Hey, hi, he doing nice to meet you. I'm now a Mormon missionary. I'll be gone for three weeks. weeks seven thousand miles away so i go to gothenburg they think they're hot shit with the pastries and all that stuff and that's fine all right that is fine i went to a place to i went to a gym in gothember because you know i fucking like to keep my back nice i went to the gym at 250 on a saturday this is this shit about European shit you never know what you're going to get you never know in America you kind of know you kind of know but if you go to Italy and you're like

let's have lunch sometimes you go to a place and just be like oh we actually closed and you're like why is it because so we because it's a holiday now from two to three it's holiday you know like what fucking holiday is it from two to three it's our off day so so i go to the gym at 250 and they're like i say you got day passes and they go this how fucking weird europe is you got day passes they say yeah we do and i say oh cool oh no no no jeff day passes now we have a week pass. I say, oh, good, I'm going to be here tomorrow too. And they say, oh, okay.

I say, can I get a day pass? They say, can I get a week pass? They say, not tomorrow. And I said, huh? And they said, we close at three. On a fucking Saturday, a gym? Nah, but your Danish's are nice. Okay, you know.

Gothenburg show was probably the first good show Amsterdam was they were I did three shows in Amsterdam and it was just like give it up I'm like give it up dude Gothenburg was was great and then Copenhagen was great and then Stockholm was monster and then London Oh, bro

Or London Just goes I mean London goes London was it Bro they were so fucking excited I fucking rinsed them too Like how they say

Oh is he rinsing me You're proper rinsing me He's proper rinsing people from London right He's proper rinsin About they have no air right here And they're right. Because they're no air on air. And they fade it up and fade it down in a track suit.

What the fuck are they doing? Bloody out. They're rinsing. He's rinsing us. And I did, dude. And they loved it. And it was so fun. But let's go back to Copenhagen.

By the way, I got shows coming up in Texas. Go check it out. Krishalea.com. I do have shows coming up in Texas. And then I have shows coming up in a bunch of different places. Syracuse. Buffalo, New York, Hamilton, Ontario, Chicago, Illinois, Kansas City, Missouri, Omaha, Daytona Beach, Florida. I mean, the guy just keeps going.

That's me. San Antonio, New Year's Eve. Go to Chris Lee and check it out. When he goes to, I go to Copenhagen and I go like this. All right. I land and I go, all right. Kobehenge kind of looks like my city. Looks like a city for me.

All right. get in touch with, I got to say, one of my favorite living directors, Christian Taftrop. Now, you've heard me talk about him here if you're a real listener of the podcast. He made a movie that I think is a masterpiece called Speak No Evil, the Dutch version, not the American version with the guy from Split. that one the ending is not good and the reason whole reason why the movie is good in the dutch movie not the whole reason but one of the major reasons is because the way it ends is heartbreaking if you haven't seen speak no evil the dutch version 2002 it was made in denmark or wait yeah Denmark in cobenhagen and i go this is amazing i talked about it on my podcast how amazing it was hats off to christian taftrop Then his friend, who was like a podcaster in Denmark, told him about it.

And then Christian Taftrop reached out to me and was like, thanks for saying all those nice things. And I go, no, bro, such an amazing movie, whatever. So I hit him up before I went. I'm like, yo, I'm going to be, where do you live? And he said, Copenhagen, I go, I'm coming. And he says, let me know if you want to get a coffee or a beer or something. And I go, dude, I would be, do you understand, I would be delighted? I would be delighted.

You know why? Because I wanted to thank him for making the movie, face to face. Because it's just, and he made another movie called A Horrible Woman. You got to go see some of this guy's stuff. I haven't seen all of it. I have to go more. You have to see more of it. So, you know, they say don't meet your heroes.

Not that he's my hero. You know, what's a hero? He's just, he's very good at what he does. I really look up to him. He's talented. And I met him. And it was just great. dude it was awesome and then he watched he came to watch my show and i was like this is so cool that

somebody i respect so much is going to watch my show and then afterwards we hung out with him and his friend who is a very cool guy too he's a podcaster over in denmark what the hell is his name frederick but um they were great guys and it was just so fucking cool it was such a cool experience for me man you know and uh i just go thank you for thank you for making the movies you make you make because they they like you know every now and then you see like people come up to me sometimes you know and they say dude you get they say you get me they say this to me they say you get me you get my humor and and sometimes i'm like ah you don't know what you're talking about i'm just a piece of shit and and and now i'm on the other end i'm saying it to him i'm like dude you're on the level i watch

your movie man my voice is going but i go i watch your movie and i go this guy understands a certain wavelength that i feel i understand that that you can connect into now i'm not saying i can go and make a movie like this guy this is his thing but there's a wavelength where it speaks to me and I feel like it speaks to me and when people tell me that sometimes I don't believe them and I think it's because I get insecure myself but now I'm realizing that I'm doing this

I'm saying this to him and I just wanted to let you know for whatever it's worth like thank you for making the movies you make they're fucking amazing dude and just I'm so grateful and I'm so happy I got to say that to him dude I really am

you gotta go see this movie anyway i said it was a masterpiece and it was so great and it's such a good movie it's the only movie that is so good but and i also never want to see it again with how horrific it is but i did and then i watched horrible woman twice uh i mean it was called a horrible woman and it's about a fucking manipulative woman and it came out like right before louisie see D.K. got me-tued. And he was just like, yeah, it was really hard to sell. I was like, oh, you fucking think. But it's so good. And there are horrible women. Now, are all women horrible? No, but that's what women will say. They'll see that. They'll be like,

how could you make that movie about a horrible woman? Oh, like women are all horrible. No. That's like saying, uh, some Asians can't drive. They, I'm not. I'm not. saying all of them. I mean, you make a movie called Asians Can't Drive. That's pretty fucked up. Now, granted, they didn't make a movie called White Men Can't Jump. And some can't.

Black people have better fast-twitch fibers in their muscles. Okay. That's how they get Kirby Pucket. And we got to sit on the fucking shelf with Kevin Elster. That's how they get it. Of course, we got Mark

Mark Mark McGuire McGuire But you know steroids Kirby Pocket No

No No No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Joe Carter? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Fred McGriff? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Tony Quinn? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oil can Boyin? No.

Issaac Smith? Lice gang, it counts. No, no, no, no, he did a fucking backflip every fucking, before every game. no no no no no no no no you don't see fucking uh can gnaw block doing that shit running out to the plate no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no fuck you you know Chuck Knoblock, whoops Fuck yeah, dude I would have kicked myself later If I heard me say Ken Knoblock

Stupid You know what? Ken Knoblock is It's actually more of a baseball name To be honest But it's Chuck Knoblock so okay Um Yeah

But I went to Amsterdam I went to Copenhagen And I fucking had that That was great That show ripped I get up there I go. Europe. I go like this. Amsterdam, Oslo. Okay. And it wasn't bad. Don't get me wrong. It wasn't bad. The Oslo show, even though it was second worst, it wasn't bad. And even the Dublin

show wasn't bad because I've been doing this for a long time. There were hecklers and they were very Irish about it, you know. That's the one thing about cultures. It's like, you know, some cultures get a rap for doing things that they do. and then you you say it and then they get mad and you're like yeah but you keep doing it like if i was irish and i don't mean shades of irish you know i i don't mean fucking you know who who's irish i'm like i'm talking about heydi dodi dumdy fucking kind of Irish like you know what I'm saying like like order bacon and can't wait for that fucking piece of meat flap to come out and not real bacon you know I'm talking about Irish

like just pale skinned freckles red fucking hair brown clothes with like a green v neck on brown pants boots you know just a just standing outside of a fucking pub with that jerky lettering. All their fucking font is the same. It's like, dude, come off it, dude. Really? Is it a V or a you, dude?

Make the Vs look more like Vs and make the U's what the fucking Vs are. And, you know, and they get the nerve to have a fucking you in Dublin. It's like, where are we going? So, you know if i was irish the kind of irish that was hidey dody dumdy day like under a tree irish right

you know like my favorite movie was far end away right and it speaks to you like that's the kind of shit i said about the movie far and away right right and i'm genuinely mad that tom cruise played the lead of it because he's not actually irish like like i'm talking about that i don't wish to fight you that i'm that kind of like i've actually tried like i've gotten in many bar fights and fights and parks and stuff but totally drunk every time and also did the thing that Tom Cruise did in far and away where I was like where he says I don't wish to fight you and then spits in his face and then when the guy goes to wipe it you punch him and that's kind of your move right but you're still pissed off a real

like Liam Neeson should have played right whatever if I'm that kind of Irish Irish um and I go uh i go to a comedy show i think all right let's even if right even if i'm that i go let's show to an american i go let's let's show them we're not only and they there were i mean there were six of them that just i mean i got heckles one of them was just like i'm batman from the back. And I'm like, what? Like,

that's what he said. Like, just so drunk. He's Robin, pointed to his friend. And then one guy, for no reason, says, and you might have to bloop this out for censorship,

I don't know, but for zero reason just says in the middle of my show and I said bro we're not even talking about that I go what are you a Nazi and he goes yeah fuck it

I'm like dude hey this sucks you know and it was so funny because afterwards at the meeting greet every nice irish well put together irish person was like please don't judge us from that please come back that was awful we know you know and i was like those people were so sweet

but damn i don't know i also didn't sell as many tickets in ireland as i did like everyone's like go to ireland it's an amazing fucking it's amazing for stand-up go to dublin i fucking go it was the worst fucking i sold i that was that threw me for a loop anyway um so that's what i that's that's that's after copenhagen i went to stock home um and at that point i'll tell you man i was so tired and i had two shows that night and i go let's do this and it ripped they ripped of it i'll show you i did some crowd work you know so i'll put it up on my youtube channel so subscribe if you're not subscribed subscribe my other channel my christlea channel i subscribe to this too you know um um hmm but i went to stock home and then london dude i fucking love london it's a little

annoying because everybody's British you know like to hear their accents one after another is like so ridiculous like guys guys can we fucking shake it up like you walk in you land and somebody's just like all right you're gonna want to come up here and line up around here and then you fucking move a little pass that and they're like um uh you need a taxi mate and you're just like uh no and you get it or yeah you get in the taxi you know well are we going and some old guy and you're like off you know this is where the parliament was fucking and you're just like dude

can you fucking relax just one after another you check in how's it going even fucking non-white people oh no how's it going you're like this accent is just for everybody kids and shit

just being like oh mom can I get some candy oh give me a fucking break in america at least you see different people with different colors they sound different in london it's just like now me all going to talk like this and you're going to have to deal with it mate one after anova one accent after anova starring leonanda the can't rio so um i did the londonald to my London show from a hotel across the bridge across Big Ben and now you look at bang Big Ben and you will first of all when was being Big Ben when was Big Ben built here we go

1843 now I'm sitting there I'm standing at this Big Ben fucking clock okay it's massive and you just go and you go 1843 and then I gotta believe that we're not in a simulation motherfuckers were just up there putting what like get the fuck out of here dude and don't even get me started on television how did that happen okay yeah the wires

and the airways right right right right okay sure okay great I'm not gonna argue about it but great like the London eyes which is kind of you know it's a big thing that you can sit and i did it last time i went with my wife to london you know that was made in 1998 okay i'll buy that all right i'll buy that how much is that okay i'd like one uh i don't know if it'll work but i'll buy it big ben in 1843 when people were like

like dying of a toothache oh okay no thank you i'll wait for the other version to come out that's insane 164 years ago everyone who fucking had any any uh thing to do with building it is just right now insane so yeah i walked there to lunch to the show and did the show and it was great great they were great and even on stage i said someone was a little pompous i maybe shouldn't have said it but i don't really care but i said oh they say london audiences are tough they must just whoever says it just must be bad they laughed but um

then i did a meet and greet and some guy was like hey i know you walked here and i was like oh yeah i was like yeah i was like okay and he said don't do that mate i was like what he was like it's really dangerous out there and i was like yeah get the fuck out of here he was like no it really is mate and i said you're not fucking with me he said no it's really dangerous mate i was like oh shit should I not walk back and he said no you really shouldn't walk back I was like okay I'll get a cap and then he left and then I asked like nine people after that is it dangerous right out there if I walk back to my dorm

and they're like how the fuck of you on mate so I walk back dude because there ain't no bit what if I got what if I was how I got killed right outside of a big bend just fucking leaking I don't know I guess we're done dude i guess we're done i love you guys uh but go to christie dot com get a get a get a ticket i'm going to be there where you are dayton a beach let's go midland texas christie dot com

thanks I don't know.