Congratulations with Chris D'Elia - 471. Let's Wow!

Episode Date: October 30, 2025

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Runk. Hey, hey, hey, welcome to congratulations. It's episode 471. So here we are, and it is time to be spooky because it is Halloween. Now, I have dressed up in past years on congratulations, and I didn't this time. And that's okay, honestly, you know. I am 45. I should dress up for my kids because we're going to go trick-or-treating, and I will,

because I can't wait, because I love that, okay? and for work for my job I guess I'm the boss and I didn't do it so we're not doing it we're not doing it it's not allowed how about how about that it's not allowed at

what do you call it my job yeah I would dress up dude is not allowed at my job man so that's great and before I even get into it I will be in Syracuse Buffalo Hamilton Ontario Chicago Illinois is the big one

Kansas City, Missouri, Omaha, Nebraska, Daytona Beach, Florida, Jacksonville, Florida, Cleveland, Ohio. And then I got a bunch of dates, but I'm going to be spending New Year's Eve in San Antonio, Texas. So come get your tickets and spend New Year's Eve with me. You can come and then go do your thing and then watch the ball drop because, you know, we're not going to do that at my show. It's just going to be before that. So that's, yeah. You know, some comics like to do it on stage. I don't like to do it on stage.

I have done it on stage, so I know I don't like it. I don't hate it. I just would rather do stand-up and the show, and then you do the party, however you want to do it. Anyway, it is, so go to chrysley.com and get tickets. It is, what do you call it, Halloween weekend coming up here. And we, you know, I, I'm really shocked that we haven't had

my kids, well, I should say Calvin, I don't know about Billy yet, really, he's two and a half, but he, they love,

they, Calvin loves Halloween, loves it. And, well, you know, it's pretty standard for kids to love Halloween.

I feel like, I don't know, any kid that wouldn't. I probably didn't when I was a kid because I'm a weirdo, and I thought it was probably scary and also like, why is everybody dressing up?

But I still dressed up. Um, think that I'm surprised that Calvin doesn't want to he wants to be a ghost so that's what he wants to be and I'm surprised at that honestly

because I you know it didn't really change much you know these kids will go like I want to be a ghost and then they'll be like never mind I want to be a wizard and they're going never mind I want to go as Barack Obama or whatever and it changes until like the day

before but he's been on this ghost thing which is going to be a fairly easy costume, especially for my wife. She's probably like, that's it? Oh, man, I don't get to, I don't get to use my skills, although she probably will find a way to use her skills at some point, somehow. She is heavy on the arts and crafts, and she's actually, when I'm thinking about it,

I was standing, she did something for the school, like this Halloween thing, and I was looking at it, and the kids were playing with it. Like, we're not playing with it, but it's like a sea-confined, you know, And a thing on the wall, like you got to find a witch, you got to find the ghost, got to find the whatever, whatever, the spooky candy apple.

And I saw these kids looking and playing with it. And I'm like, wow, that's really cool that these kids like that. You know, sometimes I think because when I was a kid, I didn't like things and I still don't like things, that I wouldn't care about that. But I'm looking at these kids play and look at this craft that my wife spent days making. and hours and hours on end.

And I'm like, wow, I took a step back. I'm like, this is really wild, actually, that she was able to make this, and it's very impressive that she can do it. And how, honestly, and I barely ever use this word, but this is what it, this is what, this is why, because I want to use it when it counts. It's wonderful.

Understand? So, yeah. And I know everybody doesn't have that artistic side or whatever uh but it's uh it's really wild you know like the the the like you go into a coffee shop and you see like the the menu and it's like a like a chalkboard and the flowers are on it and shit i was wondering who did that for people and i married one so uh yeah uh so halloween's coming up i don't know what i'm going to dress up as uh you will most likely find out on my instagram or something you know yeah maybe i'll be a ghost also maybe i'll be a a ghost buster although i you know if i

would catch calvin i would just want to hug him and stuff but um yeah it's uh i was in texas and i was in uh okay so i was in europe and then i went to midland texas so there's no i mean just talk about re-entry you know talk about like uh the absolute opposite ends of the spectrum on when it comes to living. Like, it was super America, basically, because it was spread out. There's just no places like that, other places. Like, even the spread out places in Europe, they have, like, statues and beautiful trees. And here it's like a parking lot.

in a Mervin's you know Mervin dude that name is just the worst name right Mervin that was a real name Marvin maybe anyway

just Mervin is a disgusting name but so we So, yeah, I was in Midland and it was fine. I, you know, I did Friday night show, which is idiotic because it's Friday night football there, whatever.

I did it. It was fine. Waco, then I did Waco, which is where David Koresh killed everybody. And I did that, and that was good because it was Saturday, not Friday night football. But, yeah, my throat, my voice was gone last episode all throughout the week, and it just wasn't getting better. and Friday night I had to do a show and it was absolutely terrible

I sound like Super Dave Osborne the whole time I was just talking like this and then I had I had it at the end of the show I had it and I couldn't even speak and then afterwards Sam my video guy was like

try some of this because he's in a band you know and I go what and he said it's throat coat and I and I'm like hmm sounds extremely gay first of all you know but okay put it in the tea put it in the tea drank it was fine the next day for waco and i'm just like damn that saves people dude and he sings that froth froth music you know what i mean that that whole like uh you know that demonic rock shit or whatever i don't know you know

you know i'm i'm into i'm i'm you know i like i i don't i'm not heavy into music. I know a lot about music because I know your enemy, but like, I definitely heard songs in Europe at the gym and I would shazam them because they were fantastic. And by fantastic, I mean egregious.

And by that, I mean, well, I'll put it this way. The two favorite songs that I heard in Europe were. One of them was there's nothing better than some music. That was the title is there's nothing better than music and and the chorus goes there's nothing better than some music and i'm

just like that is so danish so foreign some music to quantify it as you know obviously not music all the time to have it all the time would be crazy but some of it is good at some points uh To add the word song, it's fantastic. There was another song that I couldn't believe. I got a gym day pass at a, I turned out to be like, kind of seemed like an old person's gym, honestly. I mean, I had some, a lot of the stuff. I was like the only person in it, but everyone else was over 85.

I was like, is this heaven? And so, so I went to, it was Gothenburg. and this song came on and it was so like Danish music is so like you know obviously they have things like Katie Perry and and and you know the regular kind of big music they have Drake and all that but when you hear like deeper cuts it's always like the lyrics are just like live life to the fullest in the fast lane and it's just absolutely so far and it's like the first

sayings you learn when you learn English never stopping like that kind of stuff don't you know what I mean like killed two birds with one stone like that that is completely in multiple Danish songs

or or Swedish songs right and there was one song that was particularly doing this and I go every line you know I'm doing I was in the middle of I was in my leg day and I was doing it and as I was doing it

they were just hitting all of the you know quintessential put one foot in front of the other and then the song chorus came on and it's called and the chorus is

and this is what the song is called because I shazamed it after this happened is let's Wow. Let's wow. Dude, let's, wow, dude, let's, let's wow is fan fucking-tastic. That is the most foreign shit because like you imagine like a Danish person at an amusement park being like, yeah, do we go on that one? then we have, you know, we have a great time. Let's wow. Come on. And, dude, I couldn't believe. I think I'm going, let's wow. Let's wow. And I'm like, no, are they saying that? And then I shazammed it.

And that's what the song is called. So I go, all right, dude, I have a new favorite song. And then I went to go look it up. It was nowhere. The only place I found it was YouTube. And it wasn't even a real video. It was just like a mini video. And I go, wow. I go, let's wow. It made me wow. so that's a fantastic that is just fantastic and if you if you listen to this podcast and if you ever heard a song that goes like let's wow or something like that and you haven't thought of me you're not a real fan okay because that is so something i would love and you're true baby you know um but uh there's nothing better than some music and let's wow uh i've been i've been good i you know I'm 198 pounds. I was 100, I was 213.

So talk about wowing. Leaning out. Feeling good. God, feeling so much better. You know, to think that there's like fat people, you know? Like, even a little fat is horrible feeling. And, you know, and I get like, look, I was too, I was 2.13. I'm 6-2. 6-3. So it's like 6-2. So it's like, my mom says I'm 6-3. I'm not.

And so, but like 2-13 is, you know, it doesn't feel, it didn't feel bad, but it didn't feel, I didn't feel spry, you know. And as you get older, if you let that weight drop, you go, whoa, I feel spry. So maybe it just gradually, happens but like some people are 280 pounds and they're not nine five you know they're like five 11 that's wild and i was thinking about that driving today i was just like in my you know because i have friends that are overweight and obviously you know um a lot of people are overweight but you I'm thinking like what would it be like

if you were that big and some of you know some of you guys listening know so because you're sitting down right now you should be doing squats right some of you are literally eating something disgusting right now you're sitting out

you're eating putine fries with fucking bacon bits and gravy on it disgusting and you're doing that you know and you're fat doing it and you're sitting right and that's fine but it's like how does that feel you know and I don't you know I'm not trying to fat shame or anything but it's like man survival I think nature one time I asked my scientist teacher I was it was when I was in high school

I said hey if if biologically we're supposed to live long and then why doesn't why doesn't our body adapt to the food the food that tastes really good would be the healthy food and not the bad food and she said well some people think that it's because

you know earth is a human are a threat to earth and why wouldn't the earth make the really bland food good and the really good food bad and I go oh thanks for the

carry on for the rest of my life. I will never not bring that with me and think of it. I think of it all the time. Oh, so nature is trying to kill us? Well, it's, I mean, look at the whole Mark Wahlberg movie where he's just like with the M. Night Shyamalan. What was it

the happening? That movie was so stupid. They couldn't even figure out the name. They were like, ah, this stuff's happening. And Mark Wahlberg was like, oh, there's a fucking breeze of something. I don't know what's going on. People keep getting into their calls and crushing into trees.

What the fuck? So anyway, it was probably, I probably liked it, honestly, that movie seems like some movie I would like. But, I don't remember, but it's fine. So, yeah, maybe nature is just like, hey, dude, you want to live

on this earth a long time? Good luck eating this fucking lettuce. You know? Hey, good luck finding a, you know, probably when nature started they were like dude make them make them have to eat chickens they're gonna be running around like crazy they won't be able to catch them and then

because we have thumbs we were able to get arrows and bows and shit and then guns and then we you know we could not you know just cut their lop their heads off and stuff so nature goes ah we really fucking took a hell with that chicken thing their chicken is really good for you know what we should have done because we made chicken really

good for you but we thought we made them hard to catch we should have made them bigger we should have big chickens instead of the little ones that are we thought little would be fast this is mother nature we thought the little chickens would be fast and and zipping around and they are but the truth is humans really figured it out when they developed cars and weapons we should have just made them bigger this way if you want to eat a chicken you actually have to battle it so we fucked up we took it out with a chicken and honestly you know jaguar should taste better but it doesn't and even still

humans kind of got the leg up on jaguars because they can they got guns dude so we've you know what we need monsters we need great tasting monsters we need great tasting monsters we need we need big scaly purple

fucking uh uh huh you know we fucked up we fucked up making the sharks in the water well we put feet on the sharks and put them in buildings well we fucked it up nature

You know, but then you know what would have happened. Sharks would have found a way to fuck up the planet. So look, I think we're doing all good. This is Mother Nature's meeting. I think we're doing okay. But, you know, these meetings are good to come and, you know, and figure things out for. And help figure things out. So anyway, yeah, that was something my science teacher told me once, and I never forget it.

It's all good. It is funny the things that stick with you, right? Right? Like, I know I have talked about this before in this podcast, but it's weird to think that I'm a dad now. And look, things still stick with me, right? Like, something happened a month ago that I think about all the time, and I think I'm going to think about it all the time. And... Paramount...

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This balance is not working. And the naked gun. That was awesome. Now that's a mountain of entertainment. Paramountow... You know what's better than the one big thing? Two big things. Exactly.

The new iPhone 17 Pro on Tullis' five-year rate plan price lock. Yep, it's the most powerful iPhone ever, plus more peace of mind with your bill over five years. This is big. Get the new iPhone 17 Pro at tellus.com slash iPhone 17 Pro on select plans. Conditions and exclusions apply. And now I have kids, and they're going to think about those things. And I always wonder what those things are, you know? it's so crazy but i put i put calvin to bed the other night

and i will well i will never forget it i will never forget that night i don't think because it was you know five nights ago maybe yeah five five six and uh he was going to bed and you know when kids get tired uh they get emotional which is something that happens to me too Hey When I'm tired Fuck you Hey dude

When I'm tired Grab me that And don't say anything back to me Hey dude When I'm tired And I say something And you don't hear me Get your fucking ears checked

Right I don't I mean I got home The other Last night exhausted. I got home from Waco.

Dude, I'm at the age now where if I'm tired the night before, guess what? Tomorrow, don't remember. I was talking to Chris today. I was like, did you put the kids down or did I put the kids down? She said, you did.

I said, oh, I just forget. And I go, part of me is like, do I need more ginkobeloba in my diet? And then part of me is like, maybe this is just early onset dementia. And then part of me is, It's like, no, it's just human.

One time I asked the doctor, I was like, yo, dog, how come I'm so tired? Do I have, like, chronic fatigue syndrome? And he said, how old are you? And I said, like, I was like 39, 40. And he said, oh, no, that's just life. I said, so I'm just going to be tired from that one? And he was like, kind of.

That's what the doctor said to me. And I go, oh, fuck. I didn't realize you got to be. more active and shit like that. And now I'm, you know, firing on all cylinders. Okay, we get it. But like, so I put Calvin a bed the other night. And he was emotional, just like his dad.

But he was sitting in bed and I could see something was on his mind. And he was like, he wasn't crying, but he was what he was, he was, he was, he was, hey, bud, you feeling okay? He was a, hey, bud, you feeling okay away from bursting into tears. You understand? You know, like when you were, remember when you were in school, you're in fifth grade, so he'd be like, you're going to cry?

And you go, ah, fuck, now I am. Do you know what I'm saying? It was that. And I recognized it. I forgot that that was a thing until now I'm a dad again. I go, oh, okay, all right.

You can cry, bud? Oh, you fucking son of a bitch. That shit is kryptonite to a, to an eight-year-old, that's a kryptonite move. That's the Osotagari. That is, that is just, you know, that's a,

slimy move, right? So I'm not going to, you know, I don't think, you can cry? Oh, dude, that still kind of works on me if I think about it. Fuck. Think about that. Someone going, you can cry? Oh, fuck. God damn it. That's poignant like, God damn. A1 sauce. That feels like a, yeah, that's just, it's tart is what it is. So, so, so I could see he's in that mode. But I know it's it's late okay and you know he does the thing where you know i don't know if your kids do this or whatever but you know your nephew's nieces but they'll be laying down and then they pop up and then they go lay back down and then pop up and you're like stay laying what are you doing what are you what are you fucking michael meyers you know and he's like dang don don't don't dang don't

don't don't remember he gets up you think he's dead and he just dang don don don don't dang dong dong dong dang don't dang don't why didn't he used his fucking it always bothered me he didn't use his arms michael myers when he just fucking sits up like he's like it's like a springboard um so so i'm like okay uh he's in that mode and he's doing the popping up and down and then he he just looks at me and he says and i know he's in that mode and i'm like oh he might start getting emotional and he looks at me and he says do you know you're the best person in the whole world and i go and i say oh and i start crying he judoed it so i go so i go what do you do it hey this isn't supposed to and so I'm like oh oh and I start tearing up and then that lets him start tearing up

and I go oh fuck beautiful moment hi I wasn't you know I wasn't I'm not prepared for you know what I mean it's like I'm not prepared for this at all I didn't know that this was going down I wish someone gave me a heads up maybe it's beautiful that nobody did right but god hey give me a little bit of a heads up right hey god give me a little nudge that hey uh you're gonna you're gonna feel bunched up for a bit but i didn't i i didn't know and he just and he says you know you're the best person in the whole world i go oh and then i go just welling up till it's too much much on my bottom lid cascading down hitting the chin until it's too much weight for the chin and then just beautifully dripping down into my palm and i and we just hug and cry and and i'm like oh my

god i think about this now and i'm like i guess it's beautiful like you know i grew up in two ways like i grew up in the man it up type of way but also the it's okay to express your feelings right so i have those two sides that battle me you know that's like what it kind of was when you were born in i would say 80s or 90s uh you you have the two sides no or at least, you know, 10 years ago it was, feel your, say your feelings, express your feelings, everything is okay, you know, if you're sensitive, that's manly now, you know, before that, before the 80s, it was, what are you a fucking piece of shit? You know, if you even go, if you even questioned anything, you go, oh, you're a fucking pansy,

we might have to leap that out, but, um, yeah, it's just you can't, you know, there was no emotions as a man as a man you were just a man right so both of those things you know i'm always kind of on the offense and defense of that as a dad because i don't want you know you want to raise the the best type of person right man or or or or or female whatever you have i get two boys but um so i go oh and then he's uh and then he starts saying like i don't know i said are you crying because you're sad or are you crying because you're happy and he was like I don't know it's just there's I sometimes I just feel so much and I'm like oh that's okay I understand yeah I used to feel the same way and like I did I remember being a really young kid and just being

the only way to describe it is really like poignantly intense like it was just where am I what am I doing why why is why are all these things that I'm looking at here just like you're learning too much as a kid your brain is constantly

catching up to oh we got curtains oh that close like the sun oh the sun what's the sun oh the sun rovers are on the earth the earth what's the earth oh they mean there's a universe you're just constantly like

what you know you think you're all safe in your mom And then you come out of her pussy and you go, oh, shit, I thought I knew something going on. I thought I knew what was going on. But there's a whole world outside this pussy. And, you know, then humans are like, oh, yeah, we know exactly what it's like on Earth. And then you go, oh, yeah, what if you die and you just come out of another pussy?

And that's the real pussy. That's annoying. What? You don't hear it? Oh, I don't even notice it. I usually drown it out with the radio. How's this? Oh, yeah, way better.

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This isn't the real life. God damn it, I got to start over. at least I don't know how to talk at this point. And let me check everything. Okay, I'm still a guy. I'm attracted to women. Okay, good. Yes.

Great. Fuck, another one, huh? And so, um, so now, uh, we're crying. And I'm like, it's okay. You're all good, buddy. Don't worry about it. You know, I'm, it's okay to cry. And like, um, I know that life is a lot sometimes.

and you're going to go through this stuff and it's okay. And so he would like sit there and like try to wipe his tears and then he would just go and then start to cry again. And I understand it. I understand that. I feel that because I remember feeling those ways when I was a kid. And he's basically, well, at this point I would, I, you know, I joke about like he's me, but I at this point I feel like I'm him because he's,

you know, him and Billy, Billy's two and a half. so it's he's a little bit young but they are the they are the people that matter not me so so i say i'm uh him we're all our own people but you know what i'm saying uh the the the the the versions of it's just wild to see genetics is what i'm saying so so he's starting to do that and and then he's he's crying and i'm like it's okay buddy and he's just like i just love you so much and it was really beautiful and i'll never forget it and it was just it was just it was just You know, I start thinking like, wow, this is like, I do have those feelings where I'm like, oh, this is really great, a great experience for me. And then I'm like, okay, but it shouldn't be about me. How is it experience for him? Am I doing okay? Like, constantly thinking about all this stuff. Am I here for him in the right way? And then, and then, and then, I mean, it was probably 15 minutes of this until he didn't cry for a while. this was so sweet and he's sitting in the bed and then tears start to well up again and he can't help

himself and he says i can't believe i'm such a good person dude and i loved it dude because he is and he knows that about himself and that's how we make him feel dude oh it was so great it was so great it was so great and then i went to check on billy and he was just fucking eating a book so it's that second born really you know but yeah it was it was so sweet and so fun but but but i just that whole experience for me was just how it affected me was crazy like how it made me i you know i i i had a conversation a very brief conversation with a a fan that came to my

show um in waco i think could have been midland but i think it was waco and he was like uh you've made me so i never thought i wanted kids but listening to your podcast made me so excited to have kids and now i'm more working on having kids and i'm like oh wow yeah that's crazy because it really is so exciting and awesome okay i'm talking too much about it i know that a lot of people like it a lot of people don't like it when i talk about that you know a lot of people just want me to make fun of videos and shit but whatever dude you get what you get you know what you get you get you get me tired uh sunday night saying fuck you that's what you get because this is what i want to do anyway um eh i just love it dude i don't know whatever i'm that's how i feel right now i love

being i love being a dad but probably because the holloween is coming up and the and the and the what do you call the the holidays are coming up and it's just got me thinking and all that you know but uh and then uh dude it's so funny what the kids will do magic tricks for you that are not magic you know they're just like showing you you something and you go oh wow you got you don't even know you go oh wow so Kevin's like watch his magic trick and he has a witch hat on and he goes and he goes like he he hits his witch hat pulls the witch hat off and there's like a small pumpkin that falls out of it and not obviously you just put the pumpkin in the hat and then came out to me and did that and he's saying that's a

magic trick when in actuality i mean i guess for a five-year-old it's good but i know how he did it exactly going to be on magicians exposed like we you know so he does that but one thing i i am really proud of him for was after the trick this motherfucker looks directly in my eyes like what the fuck do you think about that and i'm like the confidence Holy shit. I could have never done that as a six-year-old. I don't even know if I would have been like, hey, look. But this boy kept eye contact to me.

Like, fuck do you think about my trick, bitch? And I go, oh, it was hysterical. The way he fucking just bored through me. Loved it. is what it is. Oh, do we have these? What happens when a football quarterback lands in a fantasy world? Find out in full-on fantasy blitz.

Free to read on the Webtoons app or search full-on fantasy blitz anywhere. Go to holler.com. Baby slash Chris Lee if you want to get a shout-out on this podcast. Trying to hit your macros but hate meal prepping. Don't waste money on DoorDash. Get high-proteer meals from a local private chef delivered in L.A. order on i g chef madison how um go to hollerbop dot baby slash chris the if you want to get a shot on the podcast um male macros don't go with the macros um um do you guys do you guys do sonas and shit do you do a sauna yeah people love saunas fucking why dude it's just so hot in there

Yeah, I guess. I guess people like to sweat it out and then like take a shower and do that stuff. But it's like sometimes that's like to me like when women are like, I love crying. And you're like what? Because it feels so good afterwards. And you're like, yeah, then you don't like crying. You like after that. You like the sauna or you like after the sauna?

Because if you like after the sauna, it's always after the sauna. Do one sauna. and then it's always after the sauna because people are like, look, working out is arguably that, right? Oh, but I feel so good afterwards. And I do. But I love it during because it's hard. I'm not in my head. I'm thinking of absolutely nothing.

And I'll be damned if I have some fucking iPod's in or headphones. No, absolutely not. You know what I listen to? the gym music or nothing. If I'm outside birds, dude, I'm not, I, I, I, I, and it's annoying too because sometimes people come up and talk to me, right? Because they want to say something and I don't know if I have phones on, maybe they wouldn't, but I deal with it, dude.

I want some guy in my ear. What am I gay? I want Lil Durk just telling me things. Fuck out of here. no i'll just do deadlifts and listen to whatever the fuck is around yeah oh i'm gonna listen to morgan wallen just say some things about love in my ear while i'm doing a uh uh uh getting crazy with the with well i'm fancy with the kettlebells no fucking no i'll just listen to whatever's on or nothing and i'm not saying you're gay if you listen to music at the gym but

but really really i go i was i heard david gagan doesn't listen to music when he works out and i go yeah but different reasons than me but yeah you know he's he's like i don't want to have to rely on it i'm like all right that's a crazy person but you know i'm also a crazy person um uh yeah so yeah i don't i don't listen to that shit man there's some good music but the ed gain thing dude uh the show uh i keep trying to watch it i keep trying to watch it and um it's just no it's not cutting it dude it's too gay and and and and here's my take on the ed gain show monsters ryan murphy is obviously a he's a he's a he's a producer's a great you know does a lot of great stuff he's obviously gay and all you have to do to know he's gay is be right and and and because because eventually you'll see one of his shows because they're so omnipresent and you'll go oh gay. And that's fine. Nothing wrong with gay, right?

At Desjardin, we speak business. We speak startup funding and comprehensive game plans. We've mastered made to measure growth and expansion advice. And we can talk your ear off about transferring your business when the time comes. Because at Desjardin business, we speak the same language you do. Business. So join the more than 400,000 Canadian entrepreneurs who already count on us and contact Desjardin today. We'd love to talk, business. He made a bunch of different shows. He made so many shows that I forgot about some of them.

I forgot about the Bill Clinton-Hillary to Clinton one. I forgot about that one with Clive Owen. Oh, yeah. Okay? There's the Menendez one. There's the Dahmer one. There's the Versace one. There's the Aaron, the football player one.

Every show, he goes, oh, yeah, cool story, but how gay were they? Right? Okay. And honestly, that's fine. If that's what you want your work to be, good, good, good. you know there's people out there that that just make documentaries about the same thing all their whole life and that's what they like doing you got fucking uh uh who's that uh the guy who sounds like this who's the german you know uh mourner herzog he goes out pretty much does the same thing

you know and um and so if if you want to just make a show and be like yeah okay cool idea for his story, but also how gay was he? How gay can it be? That's fine. Okay? And if there's an appetite for it, great. But we have to understand that these shows are in the gay and lesbian category. You understand? It's not horror. All right? And that's okay. If the thing about Dahmer. If the thing about Ed Gain, if the interesting thing is that he's, that they're gay,

my take is, whoopsie Daisy, you fucked up, right? Why? Well, Dahmer eats heads of people and stores bodies in their, in his fridge, and Ed Gain, you know, killed his own brother,

probably, and would wear people's faces. Okay? So I don't need Charlie Hunnam playing this depraved. It's just weird. It's like Ed Gain, if he just ate almonds. He's got a six-pack. It's so gay. And I want to know, look, you make the show you want to make.

And Ryan Murphy is very talented. right it's just i want to watch something that's just not going to always be like here's the thing he's going to make the ditty story are you kidding me ryan murphy's going to make p ditty the ditty story monster and he's just going to there's going to be multiple scenes with him lubed up, just straight up working off with Mick Mill will be in it, he'll be gay, even though, you know, he's, you know, I don't know if he is or not, but it's like, you know, there's that speculation. If there's a speculation, that's how it is, you know.

Versace was the best one, because it's about fashion and gayness. So tell me how gay it is. the Menendez brothers they're pretty gay so that one was also nice glee was supposed to be his best it's about a musical gay

it's a musical so so this is the thing but when you take egg gang which by the way didn't even necessarily cross dress and make some cross dress in the whatever you call it I don't know it's just weird it gives off

the vibe of you just want to see Charlie Hunnam in a fucking bra, dude. Hollywood, man. No, I don't know. But I don't, I'm not a, I can't watch the Ed Gain show. Also, I don't believe Ed Gain sounded like that. I know Charlie Hunnam has a high Mickey Mouse voice and he said, because he heard a recording of it.

I don't believe he really sounds like that. I don't not believe that that dude. Dude, if they got like John Malkovich, he's too old. but like somebody like that to play the part man forget it they miscast whatever but it's okay um so i went to go watch the you know because i downloaded it i went to go watch that game show whatever monster and uh i was on the plane and for some reason the the fifth episode wouldn't play even though i had it download loaded and um and then i look i'm like all right i guess i can't watch this so i said what else do i've downloaded i had that show

Wayward downloaded with Tony Collette, right? Yeah, that's her name. From the Sixth Sense. And it's about what I, who cares what it's about? But it does one of those things

where the writers make the, I think this might be my biggest pet peeve. One of them. Top five pet peeve with scripts. When the teenagers in the, in the movie or TV show

have taste in music and TV shows like a 38-year-old writer would have. Oh, I fucking hate it, dude. It drives me fucking nuts, dude. It drives me nuts when they're like, well, because, you know, I listen to, you know, a Pink Floyd, and it's like, no, you don't.

you're seven you know or like oh have you seen reservoir dogs it's like dude this is the writer being a fucking dumb dumb because he just wants to fucking talk about it's awful dude and they do this with this show it's it's it's it's like dude this 16 year old girl says uh well you know we got to be sneaky like like pierce brosnin in Thomas Crown Affair and I go like this Dude What

the Thomas Crown Affair Pierce Brosnan Okay so like Okay fine So I go That's awful that's egregious that's terrible writing, okay?

Then, oh yeah, but the girls, she's smarter than the rest of it. Shut up, dude. Every fucking character, no. So then later on, somebody mentions Jack Nicholson to this character, and she doesn't know who it is.

Pick one. You can't. can't know who Pierce Brosnan in the Thomas Crown Affair is and not who Jack Nicholson is. The writer exposed themselves. The writer messed up. I go, this is terrible. And I kept watching. There's a, you know, man, Netflix, they do have this stuff that is not like this, too, but it's it's so funny when they introduce like a trans person in the uh show and they just like are like it you're like it's like it's in a small town and everyone's calling this woman who chopped her tities off uh a guy like and it's like the small like the small town

would be cool with that like huh yeah what did he say oh dude look at his eyes they beautiful you're not going and i'm not saying you know you're going to be i don't give a shit look my whole thing is if you cut your penis off i'll call you whatever you want that's a fucking crazy that's that's that's hardcore you did it okay but in these small towns they don't do that they don't just assume the the right the the the the the the the the the the the gender that you want to be. They go, ah, beautiful lies, that's female.

Bulging your pants, stubble, guy. That's what they do. So it's like you got cops in small towns calling this person, hey man, like it's so, it's so, it's just not, you know, I know I know obviously to make a show real, not the well no a lot of times it it is the goal people want to want react we want like just a

mirror to reality which is fine isn't isn't always what tv shows and movies have to do which is why you get people like david lynch and that's great but like um yeah but come on i a fucking i'm not going to listen to a beat cop call a biological woman, a man on, when it's like, when it's like a fucking actor, when it's like a character in a movie, it's like, dude, that's just not, I can't say what you want about what you believe in, but I can't believe that this is the thing about that I got to, it's like, I'd rather just have people be fighting fucking aliens and monsters. that don't exist at least i can suspend my hope don't go don't half step you know i'm saying

anyway oh they arrested the louvre thieves oh wow wow i didn't know that when suspects arrested over the theft of crown jewels from paris louvre museum Hell yeah, dude. I love that. Two suspects arrested in connection with the Paris prosecutor said that investigators made arrest Saturday evening. Saturday, yeah.

Wow, they're fucked. Oh, man. What do you get for that, like, in Paris? Life? Probably. They'll rack those charges up. And you used a crane, too. and you don't have a permit yeah extra extra maximum for that for crane

usage you used a crane to get out of the building and you can't you don't have papers operated crane but of course 10 years for just that the trial oh they did the whole stealing in it in eight minutes there's also a law you have to take longer than that there wasn't enough planning the maximum 10 years for that Wow, this is wild. I don't, how do you get away with anything nowadays? 88, 102 million dollars. How do you get, how do you, the fucking balls, dude?

Huh? Well, yeah, where do you take it? How do you get rid of it? How do you dump it? How do you make it? From the world's most visited museum, French, the museum is director called the incident, a terrible failure, okay, yeah.

But my God. How do you, dude, there's cameras everywhere. And they found out who did it in a week. Remember the days of the serial killers, dude? Dude, if I was in the, in the 20s, I'd probably stick a few people, you know what I mean? Oh, shit, you're leaking. I'll probably make a few people.

I got some, I got some enemies. I'll probably, I probably fucking. Ah, you're leaking. Just a few. Oh, you're leaking. Shit. And you know what? I'm going to regret.

I'm going to regret that I did that, but I did it. You're gone. You're going to leak out. I'm sorry. I'm, you know, it's 1920. What the fuck you're going to do? DNA? Forensics?

No. No, no, no, no. We're in the middle of nowhere. There's barely lights. We use candles still kind of. you're leaking um choked you no blood we're a naked choke and we don't even know what that is yet only brazilians do at this point and you're getting choked out there you go whoops restricting no blood oh what happened oh no what happened oh hey what happened did you see what happened

yeah he just fell down collapsed oh really yep we're going to check for bruising no because that's not a thing yet oh yeah why because it's the 20s we don't even know about that Oh, cool. Fucking Scott free. Poison. Did they even have? Yeah, they had poison back then. Choking, you know, leaking, poison.

My thing would be choking, dude. My thing would be creeping up behind you in the 20s, putting you out, and then he slipped and fell. Look, he's got a bruise on his head, but it cut to me. flashback black and white smashing a rock on his head after he's after he's choked yeah that's what it was that killed him that he fell on that rock fuck i saw it happen to panting because i'm so because i just chad to fucking choke him out what we're going to do it's the 20s yeah so can't prove it right there you go anyway make a grave i just do it right here because that's That's what we did in the 20s.

We just do it right here. Just dig. Yeah, we're so, we're so, yeah, we're so gross. Right. Just leave them. Leave them. That's what we do. What are you doing?

Someone dies? You leave them. You kind of dig a little bit and you put something on them, but we don't even remember. The graves are puffed up, too, still. We put the dirt on top of it and it's like a mound. We still do that. We don't even make a whole hole. So we're basically just leaving a guy.

You know what we're doing? We're planting a guy. that's what we're doing um but anyway we got rid of the uh they got rid of they got the they got the jewels back which is great which is just fantastic um anyway uh that's it i'm christelia and uh i hope you enjoyed the show and then also i'm going to be in different places go to syracuse buffalo uh or hamilton go to chrisley dot com and I'll see you in Jacksonville.

Thanks a lot, guys.