Congratulations with Chris D'Elia - 480. Shingle All The Way

Episode Date: December 18, 2025

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Runk Hey guys, it is episode 480 of congratulations. Congratulations. Hey, yo, I got a brand new tour called Go For It, The Tour. And it is starting, it is kicking off in Chattanooga, Tennessee, January 16th. And I got a bunch of dates over there, and it keeps going. It'll go all year. A new tour with new stuff, new material, and, you know, the material is constantly changing.

I get bored of stuff. But this one's called. go for it, and it is really fun. I'm excited about it. Go to chrystalia.com. I'll be coming to your city. I'm adding cities too, so keep checking back.

But get tickets before the good seats sell out before certain shows sell out. But yeah, I'm coming to Vancouver, Charlotte, and a bunch of different places, Cincinnati, Columbus, and I'm also doing some clubs. So just go, like I got me in Milwaukee or whatever. Just go with chryslea.com and check that out.

Go for it to tour on sale now. Thank you to Legend's Social Casino and Sportsbook for sponsoring this episode. here we go. You know, it is December 15th right now as I record this and it is going to be Christmas soon. I will do another episode before Christmas. However, it's going to be Christmas soon. And honestly, I just feel Christmassy. I feel good. Dude, where I live right now, which is meaning not in Hollywood, because I used to live in Hollywood, I guess, technically, which is crazy to me. it's it's nice it's nice here it's it's got uh garland places and where the garland is it doesn't smell like pee you know and uh you know i understand every kind of city has its thing but this place where i am where i live is not i wouldn't say it's a winter wonderland because it's not you know really winter ever in los angeles i mean los angeles winter is like you turn air conditioning on um that's what it feels like

But it's not that. It's more just kind of a wonderland. And yeah, hey, dude, look, am I stressed? Yes. Okay? Am I in a caloric deficit? Yes. Am I over-training?

Yes. Did it get me shingles? Yes. I have shingles. Shingle all the way. I have shingles for Christmas. My back looks like. the map of the world, and it's spread over to my chest.

They, yes, dude. And it is horrible. Now, I don't feel sick, but I feel like the devil is touching me on the back constantly. What a beautiful poetic. And, but that is exactly, what is it? So 30% of adults get shingles. If you had chicken pox, all right. Now, I've had chicken pox.

I had it when I was a kid. Your shingles reactivates. It is chicken pox. For those of you that don't know, it's just, it lays dormant, and it pops up, and it goes, hey, you got too much stress, you've been working too hard, your body going through it, hey, we're going to pop off again. And guess what? We're going to pop off whenever this happens again. Because shingles doesn't just come back once. When you get to be a certain age, shingles can just keep coming back, dude.

right shingles is like the the back street boys just doing another tour and uh shingles back tonight um bing de bon oh no no no boom boom boom and so look it's you know i have it and my back was feeling i you know what i mentioned it on lifeline last last time i was like well i don't know what's going on my back my skin feel sensitive your skin feel sensitive lo and behold three days later all over my back texted my doctor texted him got a shorthand with my doctor pay extra for that part of the reason i'm stressed but so i uh he sent in some prescriptions got him he said should be fine next day woke up still bad next day woke up was on my chest all good now you can't get it from me okay it's not contagious like that it is

contagious like that if you haven't had chickenpox now here's the deal there's a vaccine now there wasn't when i was a kid my kids have the vaccine so everyone should be fine okay but still shingles all the way okay because it's absolutely i thank god i got it before christmas and i stopped that motherfucker my brother had it on his face two years ago or whatever my grandma had it on their eye on her eye her eye dude kill me oh kill me oh text my doctor no good dr kovorky down the line hey doc got anything dude on my eye it is not the here's the thing about shingles and some of you've had it it's not the worst pain it really isn't the worst pain you've ever felt it is Absolutely the most annoying pain that you can have, right?

Other pain is just pain. Other pain is like, oh, God, I have a, you bite your lip, it turns into a sore. Oh, no, dude, shut me down. It hurt. That's pain. If you hit your head, if you bonk your knee, if you have a stomachache, that's all pain. That's all it is, is just pain. It's not annoying.

dude shingles feels like the devil is constantly touching you it's achy dude because what's worse being sick or before you get before you get sick always is worse and that's what shingles feels like yes he figured it out that's what it feels like before the sickness it's awful and so anyway i have it looks like the map of the world all good two. And, you know, I'm 45. They say 50 plus. You got to watch out for shingles. I'm 45. And my joint age is 40. My brain health is 45. That's what Corviva said. Shingles goes, no. Schingles goes, actually, we're going to pop off. Stress, caloric deficit, over training. That's what the, I looked it up in chat chitb-t. The top two things were stress.

The second one was caloric deficit over training. And I go, you know, what i did i go like this hell yeah i go guess i'm really doing it hey oh oh i'm not in a caloric oh i'm not working hard on my body yeah i got fucking shingles you ain't shit did you work out and get shingles no you ain't shit oh you know a bunch of chinese food and bullshit okay well then you're not getting you're not getting shingles me turkey lean ground beef egg whites protein shakes some rice some uh japanese uh sweet potatoes fuck hey let me tell you something about sweet potatoes dude okay fine sweet potatoes okay fine japanese japanese style sweet potatoes i don't say this a lot but let's fucking go japanese style sweet potatoes let's go dude sweet potatoes fine fine fine

styled sweet potatoes you i don't even understand the taste you taste you eat you go how'd they figure that out how they figure that out and it's the best one of the best complex carbs you can have oh fuck yeah dude but anyway that's for another time but uh yeah dude and so i'm just chilling i've been chilling i've been sleeping on my back and my back has been hurting because of the shingles and it's all good though dude do i still go to the gym yeah i cover up bro it's not it's fine you do my wife oh my wife is like you should bandage it up you don't want people to get it i'm like people aren't going to get it there's a vaccine for chicken pox now and also everyone had the chicken pox so nobody's going to get it and also i'm wearing a shirt i'm not one of those assholes that's

the gym just with a shirt off like the guy who like the dad from insidious when he did high rocks you see him out there that guy dude's killing it Patrick what's his name a high rocks is that the exercise dude just took off his shirt and did the high rocks exercise like he's not 55 the dude's killing it that's so awesome that he did that in city insidiously working out and looking good dude I like that guy for no no reason you ever like you like some guy for no reason that's that's you know what I felt like I was that guy when i meet people i think sometimes i'm that guy like i like that guy for no fucking reason dude

but it's because i oops i keeps it real you find it patrick something the dad from insidious in high rocks patrick wilson anyway he was killing it dude just doing fucking ball balls and sleds and shit pushing weight around anyway um so he did that and um and i i really like that guy i really like that guy um but i was talking about still going to the gym and my wife was like you got it covered up with bandages i have non-stick bandages oh really what are they fucking how they stay on you get tape you put it over with gau okay so it sticks yeah but not the actual bandages oh okay but it still sticks non-stick ass bandages what the fuck you're talking about non-stick bandages

fall off bandages you mean fall off bandages you mean oh you use tape oh stick bandages so bandages so bandages so anyway she's like you should put it on and I go man you know I don't know if it's the way I grew up

or what but it's like my mom was always trying to tell me what to do or whatever but I'm like dude if somebody get if I get a whiff of somebody telling me what to do man I go nutty I go nutty dude Eric Griffin is always like, you know what you should do. Put your fucking thing in.

Did this that? You should put French doors here. And I'm just like, dude, shut up, mom. But like, so my wife, you know, when she'll be, she'll just be like, you got to put bandages on and go to if you're going to go work out. You don't want people to get it. And I'm like, I already chat sheepagued the whole fucking thing. You can't get it. I talked to doctor.

I talk to my doctor. You can't get it. I'm going to shorthand with her in the text chain. You can't get it. She's like, yeah, but you still should. Maybe you shouldn't go to the gym. Oh, fuck. You don't understand.

do you don't understand lifestyle i have to push weight well fuck i'm just going to stop now your boy military presses 115 for reps dude not me not me uh reping 115 on a military press not me not me trying to go for 135 on the military press but absolutely not be able to do it but still failing, but still counting that one, you know, that's good to go to failure, right? But anyway, fucking wrapping 115 on the military press, five reps, not me. So anyway, dude, you know, I'm like, babe, it's going to be fine. I got to work out. And then David Sullivan is there, who's my friend.

And he's a fucking op, dude. He just goes, I don't know, man. Maybe you should bandage it up. are you fucking dude who you riding with who the fuck are you riding with are you kidding me i told you about the time he i found out he's an op my one of my closest friends is a fucking up dude we went to swingers diner i get a i get a brownie first of all they sell a brownie sunday okay okay i get it brownie sunday is like the staple of thing that you can get for dessert, one of them.

I don't go that route, dude. The sauce fucks it up, and I'm not a sauce guy. And dude, don't put it all in the same thing. I'll delineate what bite I want. If you put brownies and vanilla ice cream and then you put the sauce on the side and then the nuts, I'll be able to sprinkle it around like it's Benihana.

I'll put the, you know what I mean? I'll do it. What's that Korean place where you cook this shit? Not Benihana, but the fucking Korean. and, you know, I'll put it all together. And I'll delineate the nuts with the brownie, with the vanilla, and I'll eat it the way I want. This way, each bite is creme de la creme. Right?

So that's what I'm talking about. Now, when I started dating my wife, she was the kind of person that was like, it's hot, it's cool, it's fun if you order for me. Oh shit, dude He's got it made He's gonna order for his wife And she's gonna eat it He's got it made He can get what he wants

And the secondary thing he wants He can get for his wife And his wife will eat Half of it When you're flound Flying Emirates business class, dining on a world-class menu at 40,000 feet. You'll see that your vacation isn't really over until your flight is over. Fly Emirates. Fly better.

And that's, he's got it made, dude. Look, am I controlling in a relationship? No. No, I'm not. I'm absolutely. not. I really am not. Okay. Some people might be like, hey, you know, I heard he's controlling. I'm not. I'm absolutely not. I'm very specific. Borderline to the, you know, autism, you know. But like, when I met my wife, she was like, yo, I like when you order for me. And it's, It's hot. You have so many opinions. And that is gangster. I go like this. Oh. Sup.

All right. And so we're going to the diner swingers. We get food after a show. Okay. David is there. One of my closest friends. one of my best friends along with some other comics right uh we get food and then she says any the waiters waitress comes up anything else i say yeah uh let me get my dessert that i like

and she knows what it is she knows how i get it she says you want the ice cream on the side and the brownie on this i go hell yeah because i like to delineate the thing we both said at the same time right you like to do like the korean barbecue place where you cook girl for you Yeah. We both said at the same time. Like the thing that's like Benihana, but the name escapes me. Yes, we both said that at the same time. We looked at each other. And she goes, sure, I'll get them all on separate plates.

I go, hell yeah. I'll delineate what goes in my mouth. So she says anything for you to my wife. Now remember, it's me, my wife, David Sullivan, two, three other comedians. Okay? I don't remember who it was there. and so I say to my wife well she wasn't even my wife at the time I say you got to get this thing it's so good okay so I say get one for her boom killing it killing it being opinionated

check ordering for my the woman who likes when I order for her check being sexy and assertive check i mean dude i practically need to get a towel all right so the lady says of course the waitress says what she should say she says do you want it like him or do you want it like because i ordered for or do you want it like the way it comes and i go nah nah You got to get it like me. That's how it's good. And she says, oh, okay, you don't want the nuts and the things. I go, nah.

Dude, and I've said this before on this podcast, and I'm sorry I'm repeating this story, but some of you, if you don't know it, you've got to know it. David goes, well, hold on now. You've got to see what she likes. What if she likes it the other way? You got to ask her opinion. Bro.

You don't. you got a you don't know how sexy i'm being you don't know the backstory you don't know a relationship and also you're an up even on top of that you're an up even on top of that on top of all that you're in up you don't know the lore oh well maybe chris knows something i don't know okay i'm okay i know it seems like she likes him he's being sexy oh he's being assertive on all you check your opness dude and and dude he did it again the uh

other day. I don't, I go, I go, dude, he's like, well, maybe you should wear benches. I just looked in chat cheap, he asked it the way he asked it, though. You know, I can color chat chaped it the way you want it. And I'm like, guys, the doctor told me I can't, it's fine. I'm not supposed to put cream on it. They keep saying put cream on it. Nobody told me to put fucking cream on it.

Oh, the doctor didn't tell me to put cream on it, but David Sullivan is telling me to put cream on it. Well, let's see. the doctor's the doctor and David Sullivan has an Airbnb and he's an actor in a lot of stuff you know it's like so I'm not putting cream on it I'm going to work out

and I go and I go with David he comes to work out I was like oh man I don't know sorry man I'm like no you're an op it's okay you got to know keep your friends close and your enemies closer right and so super close now he ain't going nowhere so we worked out you know anyway it is what it is but uh so it's all good uh um i just i can't i don't know something about me just i don't want to be told i don't be told what to do man

i'm out you know i'm out that's the thing here's what you got to do dude you got to you got to I, no, dude. If I'm at the gym, somebody, hey, you got to do like, dude, just let me hurt myself. I'm me. Because the last thing I want to do is do your way, still hurt myself and then be mad at you.

Let me just be mad at me. I was thinking about this thing I saw. I heard this speech that, what is it? Let me find it here. Speech that, um, um,

um, uh this speech here as i found it hold on it's actually a really cool speech by uh alan watts you know what that is anyway i guess i won't play it but he he's just like dude you you get everything you want in life and i'm like what where's my yacht and he says you get everything you want you just have to understand what you want and i go sounds annoying but also cuts deep right for sure for sure a 23 year old woman has said it having sushi with her friends and been super annoying about it but she said it by mistake didn't understand the gravity of it but absolutely a 60 year old man has said it and meant it and has understood the gravity of it

and changed lives. Do you understand? A 23-year-old chick can fuck around and say something stupid and have it be genius, not know, and she's only saying it to her friends by mistake because it's word salad, but whoopsie. But when a guy who's 65 or woman, who 65 just fucking really lays it down,

understands the gravity of the words he's saying can really change lives. and you know it's maybe that's true if you just live in the way because if you are mad you know if you want to be in love but you're constantly talking about how how how hard it is to date and how scary it is out there and you're getting exactly what you put out there. You know what I mean? If you look at it like, I'll find someone.

I don't need to be scared about this. I can be in love. This is what life's all about. It's got endless opportunities and it's fruitful and it's bountiful. Then you will find a man to slide inside you and inseminate you. over and over again if that's what you put out into the world now this is not how alan watts said it

this is how i say it and you know this is more of a congratulation-esque way of saying it but it's just you know i'm honestly not even sure if that video i watched was that was was AI of alan watts but it's just i don't even know is alan watts a real person whatever it is it was a great thing i don't give a fuck dude you know what i mean it was great and i don't care if it was real or not it was real but my point is you can absolutely get what you want in life you just have to understand

what you want wow because when I think about it is like do I have everything I want and I go yeah right like if somebody said hey where do you like actually my buddy asked me the other day where do you see yourself in five 10 years what would you want what would be

perfect i go uh it's kind of like this and he goes that's beautiful yeah it's kind of like this maybe i have like i don't know maybe like i have like a chef maybe like you know what he goes i asked this guy did that same question the other day and he said sitting on a private jet with a really uh beautiful woman that i'm like having a relationship with and i go yeah i kind of is that can be fun you know what i was thinking about guys who have private jets and like take women like the dan bilzarian guy and how just some guys have jets and like hose go you know hose go and they take pictures and put it online and on instagram like they're not hos also if you're a woman and you're 28 and you got fucking jiggly tits and you take a picture

next to a private jet it doesn't matter what you're doing perception is ho Ho-wise, you're killing it. You're the top hoe, right? If you're 30,000 feet in the air on a private jet with jiggly tits and a guy who won't commit, you're Queen Ho. There's nothing wrong with that.

I respect it in a way. But I will say, um well i don't know man i think i think i feel like um a midlife crisis is coming you know i feel like a midlife crisis is coming where i just go but a good one you know not even a bad one like a one where i go ah sweetheart i go like that it's gonna be great gravy from here because it is dude I mean dude yeah shit is expensive

for Christmas you got to get all this stuff and it's hard to get a job and all this stuff and you know your health and your grandma or whatever it is your dad your you know your kids not doing well in school whatever it is you got whatever your thing is but bro it's all gravy

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I can't believe this Rob Reiner thing. He's unbelievable. I mean, he was killed by his son and his wife. Him and his wife were killed by his son. And that is like, is this Game of Thrones? You know, I was thinking about that. Because I've thought about this before

if my son grew up to kill me. And it's got to be the craziest feeling in the world. It's so, so sad. But you're scared for a bunch of different reasons. You're scared because you're dying. You're scared because that's your son and what's going to happen to him. My God. Oh. Shit. Really fucking with me. You know, you did what you could. You did what you thought was right to help him. And then he just snapped. and you still love that motherfucker you know it's like it's just very sad it's a sad thing and he made so many great fucking movies and i mean that guy was like old hollywood he made

he had he carved out a huge part of hollywood for himself and that was awesome you know you know he's just one of those guys that has a house with like three elevators in it and an escalator and a fucking what do they call that Bulgari store like it's just like a mall like he's beautiful you know

and to get stabbed at 78 or whatever he was I don't remember whatever if it's stabbed but it's just brutal and dude

Trump's thing where he put on his app truth social is that what it is where he was like he died and I never liked him

and he didn't like me so fuck that or whatever you know I mean I'm paraphrasing it but it's like so disrespectful it's so such an asshole such an asshole thing to do and then the reporter's like

what do you feel do you stand by I love how reporters will just it's so funny how they ask you to clarify stuff like they're like they're like letting you maybe you didn't mean what you said but really what they want you to do is just fucking dig your heels and deeper so they fucking click on your goddamn article and he was like

yeah I didn't like him and I was like dude wow man wow he's got to know that that's an asshole thing to do he has to know someone didn't like you like if I think about someone who didn't like me

I go fuck that guy and then I think about if a family member of theirs killed them I go oh no that's not right and that's it I don't think oh god yeah

fuck that he didn't like me oh what happened his son killed him fuck that he didn't like me um yeah I know this is in the movie Rob Reiner made with his son when he was like however old

My name is at the, is the top of the name of the marquee when they go to the comedy store, which is a note for the pod that my wife just sent me. Oh, there it is. Oh, wow, it's on the news. Well, whatever this is. Yeah, that's where my name was. Wow. What a, what a wild.

And then the, what happened in Australia? I thought they didn't have guns. They just showed up and were like, psych. And then that one dude just, man, how brave that one dude. I mean, you know, there's one, okay, if there's one shooter, maybe you go, okay, I actually think I could get the drop on this motherfucker. But there were two, right? Or three?

Two. That's brave. to go still get the drop on this motherfucker when there's another active shooter that could just get your ass wow this guy just said fuck it he goes I'm in and took him down

anyway it's sad it's all fucked up and it's not getting any better yes so I'll get um not getting any better not getting any better than you get shingles but all you got to do is put out that positivity like Alan Watts said

and you get what you want in life. You just have to understand what you want. Hey, yes. At Fandual Casino, you get even more ways to play. Dive into new and exciting games. And all of your favorite casino classics, like slots, table games, and arcade games. Get more on Fandual Casino.

Download the app today. Please play responsibly 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. If you have questions or concerned about your gambling or the gambling of someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2,600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. Dude, this Waymo robot thing is so funny. How the fucking... Ep to loud.

How the Waymo, did you see how the Waymo went into the standoff that the... Oh my God. Dude, the Waymo just goes into... the middle of a police standoff where their guns are drawn. Downtown L.A., what the f*** is that Waymo doing? You can see a line of police cars blocking the road and a man lying on the ground. Enter this Waymo driverless taxi, which while servicing riders, proceeds to take a left turn driving right past the active police stop

and officers, who moments later are seen walking towards the subject with weapons drawn. Waymo telling NBC News that when it's... Robotaxie came across the scene. It turned to... The guy's just jizzing. Oh my God. Oh my God. Leaking. Pure Robotaxie.

Unblocked area where other cars were also driving and that it quickly left. In a statement the company saying, safety is our highest priority. I love companies when they fucking clear shit up afterwards. Actually, yeah, I know that happened, but safety is our highest priority. Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah? What were you trying to fucking help the cops?

it's like that one what was that thing that happened recently where the company was oh fuck it just happened oh fuck what was it it literally just happened and they were like we don't stand for that is some article i read or something where like uber it was it uber it wasn't waymo it wasn't the waymo thing but it was like oh fuck so it's so funny employees are such a dick you know it's funny when an employee i mean this is obviously not employees is a i but like a employee that oh i remember what it was it was the thing i was watching on a hulu it was uh this guy who works

at a shipping company boxing company boxes up some warehouse what the fuck was the show even it's like a series that you you come home and your wife is watching so there you know what it is whatever that is you come home from work and you you all you want to do is watch like the last episode of pluribus and and your wife is watching and this so that's what i was watching whatever that pops up in your head that's what it was and uh i i sit down and i watch it and this dude was like having a um oh god crazy motherfuckers he was having a he was a uh obsessed with this woman that he worked with and this woman uh left her phone around and he took it like a bitch and she was like

hey hey i saw my i left my phone here do you have it he was like nah she's like i know you have it and he was like here fine i have it and he went through it and then fucking killed her i mean there was a lot more than that but that's basically the gist of it those are the cliff notes is that he stole her phone gave it back killed her there's a three-parter and um and the company the boxing up company was like, we don't condone. It's like, dude, you don't have to not condone murder.

Right? Right. Craft. We actually don't condone pillaging villages here at Kaiser Permanente. But so this dude just straight up killed. or because he was one of those this is something I never understood this is something I straight up never understood

ever ever I never understood this it's just not you know what people say annoying people say it's just not in my DNA this is what that feels like to me okay I if I like

you know I'm married now and and and I love my wife and you know all this shit and everything is Good. Okay. If you're dating someone, if you're, you know, in the first year of the relationship and you love the person and they break your heart and they break up with you, okay? And then you want them back because you go, what the heck? I love that person. I don't even understand.

And then, okay, now picture this, the picture that happening to you, whether that's happened to you or not, picture it happening to you. Okay, now, now you find out that three months later, she's with someone else, okay? Now, is that worse than her being single? Okay, do you understand what I'm saying? Okay, it's clear. All right. To me, it's absolutely the same.

It's absolutely the same. Whether or not she found someone else or she's out there single at the fucking Chateau-Montrion getting all, you know what I mean? Or just with one guy in love, what's the difference? Or even if she's not, well, if she's just chilling at home watching Hell's Kitchen over and over again because she wants to do her, fine. it's all the same it's all the same to me it's the same heartbreak i don't i you know and a lot of guys like will be like what the fuck dude uh if if she's dating someone else fuck that they think that's bad or worse or something and then they get to the point where they go you know the crazy guys the incels, the people who are just like, you know, just fucking love, love anime.

They go, well, you know what? If she, if, if I can't have her, no one can. That sentiment right there. If I can't have her, no one can. That's where, that's where you turn into a borderline. You know what I mean? You're not, you're basically, you're not, you're not shingles yet. But you've had chicken pox.

so there's a one in three chance you're turning into she goes aka in this metaphor a serial killer a killer a revenge killer right because you are thinking that's mine and it's a person when in actuality it doesn't matter who she's how much she's or even if she's binge watching hell's kitchen by yourself because she wants to do her you don't have her anyway so if you're the kind of guy who thinks that and then you take it further and then end that person's life which happens

men do this to women I suppose women have done it to men I have no idea but you see all those documentaries about dudes being like I couldn't have her so no one can slice and that's bitch shit because it's not about her. It's about you and your ego and it's about another guy. And deep down what I'm saying is your heartbreak is all stemming from a guy and you're gay. And it's insane. That's gay, dude.

Congratulations. You're gay. All good. But now you're, ah, you understand. So it's just a weird thing. for me because I don't get that. Like if my wife was like, fuck you, I'm out and started dating someone else, I don't have any ill will towards that other person.

That's it for you. You know what I mean? So, yeah, I just think that that's a weird thing that that that that's a bit shit i think that also here's the thing that that here's the other thing that dude at that that boxing company at the box boxing company that boxes up stuff or shipping company where the fuck it is you know it's one of those factories that you see that you don't really know what they do you just see them they're in like fucking um you know uh steven seagal

movies and they fight there like those places and so or van dam or something you know there are places where you walk in and you go after hours you go hello and so um so you go there uh no you don't go there so you so this guy killed this woman woman because he was infatuated with her and i guess she wouldn't be with him now he never was with her so that's super bitch shit so i'm sitting there watching it i'm like dude these guys guys who do this kind of shit. Worst of the worst, first of all. But it's like,

hey, dip shit. It's not only supposed to be hard to get laid. It has to be. It has to be. It's supposed to be fucking hard to get a chick you if it was easy first of all the world would have no space babies be popping out left and right okay but you have to have girls and women you have women be like

she go okay never mind it's supposed to be fucking hard stupid fucking idiots like this out killing motherfuckers because i can't have her you're a bitch dude what a what a what a what a well what you deserve pussy you know i mean got it that that's the one thing about dudes is just fucking so annoying to me uh but whatever you know i don't mean that get all please don't think i'm i don't care actually think whatever let me just itch my let me just itch my shingles for a little bit uh this is uh this is uh the uh what do you call it a link here Look at this

Oh yeah, that's right My thing never loads Because it's a safari With a bacon egg and cheese sandwich Eat A sandwich with a graph I mean puberty Eat

And rabbi Pasture's eggs And raw cheese I'm so hard When I see that shit I go so fucking Bro when you're eating shit Like egg whites and chicken And fucking

rice and all that stuff and then you see somebody just eat a mess of a breakfast sandwich you go maybe it'll just be a fat guy instead of ruining your health with a bacon egg and cheese sandwich eat a sandwich with a grass-fed rib eye pasture raised eggs and raw cheese man this kid's 11 this isn't no you're a fat fuck if that's what you eat Look at this. Instead of ruining your health with a bacon egg and cheese sandwich. Bacon egg and cheese sandwich, $199. Eat a sandwich with a grass-fed ribide, pasture-raised eggs, and raw cheese.

$55. Eat. I'm sorry, but... Instead of ruining your health with a bacon egg and cheese sandwich. Right here. Eat a sandwich with a grass-fed ribide, pasture raise eggs. in raw cheese $58

at anywhere and that's cheap oh wow people are calling out the voice crack I thought it was unique uh bacon egg cheese

dude if you oh my god somebody's commented we heard the voice crack pre-com why pre-com do you know

pre-com and there's somebody else said pre-com time to call it quits man what the fuck is this about. Must be his nickname. Ew, dude.

Worst nickname. Are you going to invite pre-com? I don't know, man. Voice is always cracking and he's always trying to fucking get us to buy these $67 sandwiches. Who is this fucking kid? Oh, he's got more.

I love finding people. Oh, he's got more. E. Oh, good thing, my fucking thing, never looked. If you're out and about... So, can... A... S...

Canadian. From Calgary. So from fucking Edmonton. Can't even... You never left. It's not the worst thing to find a healthy restaurant, like sweet greens.

I use menu fit, which has the healthiest options from every menu across the world. Wow. I love this guy. The fuck. If you're out in a bag. Oh, he works out?

Hell yeah. Come on, let's get the workout content. Here we go. It hurts too much. No. Go boost your test so you don't have chicken legs. Oh, the kid's fucking nine. I don't want to hit legs.

It hurts too much. No. boost your test so you don't have chicken legs a boost your test the guy didn't even go through puberty yet boost your testosterone like go get testosterone from your doctor or illegally Owens

stubblebine such a British name what's up with the internet bro they're just going to keep doing this shit right like they're just going to keep doing it we're going to keep having people like this come on guys wake the

up. Rizzler, you know, and all that shit. Hey, we're Costco guys. We're going to keep doing it. Now we've got to listen to this kid buying a fucking $78 sandwich. Fuck. I'm in. I'm so in.

I'm so in, pre-com. Too hard. I don't like the taste. No. Go lock in. Who the fuck? Eating healthy is too hard. I don't like the taste.

No. Go lock in. The fucking kid should be rollerblading, dude. What the fuck is... Come up. I mean, look. It's a character. Hopefully the kid's real smart.

There's a character and that's fine. Parents, what's up? Hey, hey, be quiet out there. 100% obvious. I got to check in with the foodie boys. Oh, by a million. Pepper. Wow.

I don't know. The debate. I don't know. You can find it naturally and stuff. Sorry, what's better salt or pepper? Great. Obviously. Pepper.

So, no, no, like I'm talking about like in a food. like fish it's very salty it can be very salty dude imagine like driving cross-country listening to these guys podcast like but like just being silent and like taking it in pepper it just takes to that i really don't know it doesn't really has that flavor oh dude pepper has that flavor that's a really good point who do you think is the most chopped okay who do you think is the most chopped for what salt versus pepper debate must be had it's salt by a million

oh no the debate oh the debate dude not a debate wow these guys and and these guys will just be getting money from this that is just crazy

dude MD Foodie Boys just lighten up this debate that we need to have is a country, salt versus pepper. And they are in disagreement, dude. I really hope that they figure it out. I hate for the... What if there was a falling out between the guys doing this

because of that? Because of the salt and pepper rift. God, these fucking guys, huh? That is just insane. I don't know, man. I think we're good, and I appreciate you. But thank you for love. listening and uh subscribe to the podcast if you haven't and come see me on tour appreciate you