Congratulations with Chris D'Elia - 508

Episode Date: May 21, 2026

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runk hey guys what's up it's congratulations episodes 5008 dude it's midnight it's a late night lucy goose episode you know because I just landed man

and I you know the one thing I want to do when I land is to just get right into a podcast after I take a after I take a flight from Vancouver Island which yes that's a thing Vancouver Island is a place.

After that, I go from, by the way, I don't even know if there's Uber's there. I had to schedule a car. It was hundreds of dollars to ride to the airport 10 minutes away, got to the airport, took a prop plane to Calgary. I almost didn't even get on it because I was like, I thought I was just flying to Vancouver to then come to LAX, but I'm like, is this the right plane? And the lady's like, yes, Chris. And so I was like, all right, so I got on.

on flew to Calgary, three and a half hour Calgary layover, flew to LAX. And I hit my travel later. I'm like, why is this such a long layover? Why am I getting home from late? And she was like, because it was the only way to do it without taking three flights, dude. And I'm just like, three flights, no three flights, only two flights or most two flights. one flight mostly all the time and then sometimes two flights if you got to connect i guess but um so i landed and then an hour home to get to here to get to you to do the podcast and you know

what i keep thinking about uh sometimes about how it's like how long am i going to do this podcast and you know the truth is i like this podcast i like to do the podcast i like to talk i like to have the i like to have the conversation with you guys i know it's mostly one-sided but you guys probably make up stuff in your head and talk back to me and that's fine and i love that on I don't know what you're saying, but I can imagine. And it's just a nice kind of like a little bit of a symbiotic relationship. But what I'm saying is, though, you guys send me nice messages and saying, please don't ever stop the podcast.

And then you come up to me at the meet and greet after the show sometimes you're just to say, please don't ever stop the podcast. And I'm like, okay, I'm trying, dude. I'm going to keep going. One day, it's got to stop. But it's not now and it's not soon. So let's just enjoy what we do have. I'll be in San Jose this week.

I'll be in Nashville the week after. Las Vegas, Utah, Denver, Miami. So go get tickets at Christalia.com. And that's what's up. I've just been watching a lot of documentaries where people just kill their spouse. So it just seems like that's the only thing that's kind of on. Or there's a podcast about somebody

that killed their spouse out. And everyone's always going to be talking about it. you know i just ripped through like nine this weekend so i was in vancouver or west new westminster i guess i was in new westminster and the the call the customs guy was i do i don't even know where i'm going half the time and then i get to the customs and i feel like a terrorist because they're like where where are you going and i'm like oh dude uh i don't know and they're like huh what westminster you mean new westminster well is there an old westminster then yes that one uh but anyway uh i get i i do the new westminster house of comedy which is great it was fun and then my freaking uh we did one night we got a

bunch of uh good footage for the you know we do the crowd work stuff sometimes sometimes if some pops off I get bored of my material, but I do like an hour of material. You know how it is. And anyway, I do some local stuff up top, but, uh, and then next night, dude, we get to the club and the fucking cameras are gone, dude. They got stolen. Somebody stole thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars worth of camera equipment from my camera guy and who directed my special as well. And it's very kind of heartbreaking and sad. hopefully they find him they won't it's canada and um can't even if they do catch a guy they'll

keep him in jail for it or was i um but anyway so a hymn uh but uh yeah so that sucks and i feel fucking bad and it's one of those reminders that i'm not a sociopath thank gosh dude you know i really felt bad for a few for two days i know i'm not saying it stopped after three days i'm saying it's two days now it was two days ago so Still, I feel bad is what I'm saying. And my contacts are dry? Yes, but it's all good. So then I went to Campbell River.

Campbell River on Vancouver Island has to be the number one city, the number one city that I've toured to in 20 years. And I mean this, where more people have said, what the hell? Why'd you come here? than any other city I've ever played or town. And you know what? Like, why wouldn't I?

It's great. You go there, it's beautiful. I mean, yeah, everyone's Canadian, but you go there, it's beautiful. Yeah, everybody's like, you know what I mean? I love Canadians, you know what I'm saying? But they're all Canadian, and it's just beautiful. You got the fucking nice view.

You got the nice, the mountains are everywhere. and then you just, you know, bad hotels because it doesn't really have a much of a, you know, a bustling community. I tried to go to an anytime fitness. I couldn't even get in. I didn't have a fob. And I tried to like, look, there was an old guy in there.

I'm like, come on, dude. And right in front of the thing, it says, we know it's nice to hold the door open for people, but don't do it. Every entry needs a fob swipe. And I'm like, man, fob. Fob.

And so I walked over to Anytime Fitness and I walked in to get, because, you know, my diet was all fucked up because of the one of the dyes. By the way, Vancouver is Asia. Okay?

And people were like, you must be staying in Richmond. And I'm like, oh, is that where the Asians are? And they're like, yeah. And I'm like, I wasn't. You're kidding yourselves.

It's Asia everywhere in Vancouver. It's Asia in New Westminster. It's Asia in Vancouver. It's Asia. And that's okay. But it's Asia. Okay?

I had to go to a food court, and the only thing they had were dried prawns and giant salamanders in coolers and a mailbox place. It's Asia. And that's okay. but you know you ask chat chitu where do i go they go great food court across the street go across the street oh dried prawns giant salamanders pigs feet and for some reason a mail place nothing is more asian than having pigs feet fish salamanders and then a fucking place where you can mail stuff absolutely nothing Zero things are more Asian than that.

And that's fine. But it's Asia. Okay? And so I visited Asia, not Vancouver. And, you know, it was nice. I love Vancouver's nice. I mean, you know, if you turn a wrong corner in Vancouver, you get, you almost get, like, people will just stick you with heroin. I don't know.

Canada's got some, they got to figure it out. But I speak to truth. Don't come at me. Don't be like, oh, shit. You know, ban Chris from Vancouver because what he said about heroin or whatever. But, like, you know, Trudeau, you know, Katie Perry. I hope that they go strong forever. But I got off the plane today.

One of the flights. No. No, I got off the plane from Calgary to Los Angeles. I just got off the plane just right now. and I'm walking, you know, I'm like, I'm like the fifth fourth row. Well, I was the fourth row. And then I was sitting next to this really large guy. And, uh, I asked him to go to the back.

I was like, can I go to the back? I got to go to the bathroom. He was like, sure, do you want me to get up or you want, you want to just scoop by? And I go, yeah, I'm just going to scoop by, bro. That's what I do. If you give me the option, I scoop by, don't get up. If you, if you're all good. with my ass or cock all in your face.

That's what, you know what I mean? Like, if you, if you're going to let me choose, whoops, you're getting the front or the back. Whoops, you're getting the front or the back, right? It's a roll of the dice. Noammy's, no Emmys, no Emmys, no one is, no one is, no one is, noemis, is, oh, ma'amese, o'emis, o'emis, back. You're getting a private, okay?

You're getting a private. Oh, you're getting a private. And, and not only that, the back of the chair in front of you is getting brushed up against with a private. Okay? So you're either getting the front, the back of the chair in front you're getting the back, or you're getting the back, and the back of the chair in front is getting the front. So you let me decide? You get in the private? So I did that once, and then I came back, and the fifth row was empty.

So I just go, y'all, I'll just sit over here. and I sit behind him and he didn't say the motherfucker he was like Cube Gooding Jr. and Lightning Jack he didn't say shit he just goes and so I sit my ass down and I finish my documentary where a woman murdered her husband or whatever

but I'm like this guy was short and large you know that's incredible to be short and large is amazing short and large what it almost sounds like an oxymoron but you can be short and large right in essence you're a chode you know what i'm saying hey bro you're a can of spam my man it's tuna

my man y'albacore you bunch of crunched-up albacore hey bunch of crunched-up albacore hey you getting a private dude i gotta go piss and just so you know you bunch of crushed up albacore you get in the private okay all right so you're getting it

all right now i did that and then i dumped my ass back in the fifth row and that's fine but say something lightning jack say something okay and if you don't want to find that's fine but just know i know i know deep down you're short and large and on the surface so uh it is what it is and i hope that guy lives a full wonderful life you know he's already at the point i mean maybe he's six maybe he's 55 he's

already limping but it's just like i don't know man i go oh i'm not going to eat sugar much did it on the plane when i'm on the plane dude i can't i just if you give me some carrot cake. That's going right in my fucking mouth, you piece of shit. But yeah, and I don't like what they say, I only have macaroni and cheese left.

I go crazy. All right, so anyway, let's stop talking about that, though. The clavicular or whatever was, my buddy Ryan Pownall, who's got the, he did Lifeline with us once. He's got the pillow talk, he's got the pillow talk podcast, which we, you know, which we love and we, we, we support.

And he was having a get together or something in Miami and clavicular was there and, and, and, and Ryan was streaming and Clavicle was streaming and some porn lady was like, you're shitty to Clavicular and Clivocer and was like, you suck, you do porn and you try to, you, you, try to you know and you and 16 year olds are watching my stream and you're trying to uh uh promote your your porn and you i hope you go to jail now clavicular obviously he then got away with words it's fine he smashes his face with the hammer okay now that now the woman the porn woman was like ryan you got to kick out clavicular and ryan's like nah just try to avoid him you know he's here it's fine just he's a dick you know just be just avoid him. And then so she was like, wow, clavicular's shaming porn workers and Ryan Pono didn't kick him out.

And he's being fucking shitty. Now, hey. So now, like, I think like, so now like Ryan's like dealing with like a bunch of like bullshit online. And how about this? Y'all crazy. Okay? Y'all crazy. All right.

I'm sick and fucking tired. Y'all crazy. I am so sick and tired of crazy people. You know what? If you're crazy, you don't get to complain. You're the one that everyone's like, you don't, oh, dude, if you want to take shots to the face, okay? If you want ropy ballerbells,

uh, bouncing off your chin and in your mouth a little bit, okay? that's fine. You want to make money doing that? That's fine. Okay. But you don't get to cancel someone who has a podcast for you. This episode is brought to you by Nespresso. Hear that. That's your next obsession. Every coffee, a new world. Every sip, a new taste. This is the new espresso. One touch, endless possibilities. Iceed, flavored, long, short, because some days call for that espresso kick. times a smooth silky latte just wins it's exceptional but effortless like actually effortless simply press brew and explore nispresso what else keep exploring at nespresso.com okay just keep catching ropy barbells in your eyelids and that's fine i don't i i i want to make perfectly clear dude if you want to work sex

work sex, okay? If you want to catch swiveling ropy barbells all over your face and chest, okay? By all means, make that bag. But you don't get to

cancel someone who makes a podcast that you might be on. All right? So go fuck yourselves. Okay? Also, So try to cancel clavicular.

He's the one shaming it. You know what I mean? So none of it makes any sense. The world never makes sense. Fuck the world. Let's go. It's fucking midnight. Just got off a plank from Calgary.

And this is how it goes, dude. And so it goes. And so it goes. And round and round where no one knows or whatever the fuck. But I'm just fucking. You know, it's like, dude, shut up, dude. if you do porn, fine, but don't advertise your porn to fucking people who are children.

Fuck, you know, it's just like, you really, really, everyone's so crazy, dude. Everyone's so crazy. Fucking, everyone's so crazy. And you're all crazy. But when someone tries to fuck with someone's money like that, it's bullshit. shit. I don't know, man. I'm delirious, but it's all good, my baby.

Didn't listen to the new Drake album because there's 60 songs. Hey, listen, I don't want to listen to it. Look, Drake is, I think Drake is a shit. I love Drake. Don't want to listen to any albums that are 60 songs. Okay? All good. All good, check please.

All good. You know what, dude? albums, they should be fucking six songs. If you can't fucking condense your goddamn music into six good songs, I don't want to hear it. That's as simple as it is. I don't want to hear it, dude. Oh yeah?

A triple album? 80 songs? Hey, bro, what are you just can't stop singing? what are you doing you just can't stop you record a song and you're just like all right another one dude

make 12 songs what the fuck imagine Phil Collins like what was he talking about a fucking 80 songs and what if I can do that that's fucking crazy this is a studio

um Fucking love Phil Collins. So I get off the flight from Calgary right now. And I exit. And, you know, I'm one of the first people that exit the planes. Fucking, it's 1130. Behind me, you know, and the run, what do they call that thing, the runway,

not the runway, when you get off the plane, the taxiing when you're, no, no, no, you're parked, you get off the plane, the fucking drawbridge that they bring up. The jetway, that's what they call. it. And so, and so I'm walking up that. I hear

from behind me, I go, oh, somebody's late for a flight. I go, what flight? It's fucking 11. What flight takes off at midnight? I mean, there are some. But this lady screaming from behind, please, please move. I'm in a rush. I'll never forget this.

This is what this lady said, dude. This is what this lady says. running from behind me. Please, please, please. My flight's leaving in an hour and a half. Bro, that's what this lady said. And I, she ran by me. I go, I say an hour and a half.

What airport is it at? We're at the fucking airport. Hour and that. And she was smiling like, oh, please. And I'm like, dude, no, you don't have. fun with it. Don't have fun with it. You're scared. Be scared. Don't be insecure that you're scared, but also don't be scared. You're going to make it. There's no airport that takes fucking an hour and a half to go from one end to the other. Also, at midnight, no one's there. Hey, babe,

you'll make it. You'll make it tuts. What if I just said that while she was running by? You'll make it tuts. Yeah, make it tuts. Oh shit, dude, is it in Orange County? You'll make it tuts. Hey, is it at John Wayne Airport? You'll make it tuts. Fuck, dude. You got time to stop for some fucking Popeyes.

Jesus Christ. Outside the airport. What are you talking about? Go stop by the strip club foreplay. It's in Santa Monica. You'll make it there and still catch your flight. You'll make it tuts. Yeah, dude.

We got to bring back tuts. For real. I'm bringing toots back. Yeah. If you bring tuts back, dude, I'll suck your dick, honestly. That's going to be the fucking day. Do you know what?

Man, is what it is. Please, please move. My flight's leaving in an hour and a half. I couldn't believe my ears. Oh, dude, you can watch fucking Gladiator. Hey, and Netflix, stop emailing me about what I thought about what I fucking just

watched on your service. Hey, what did you think of the fucking thing you just watched? What are you, my friend? Hey, dude, don't, first of all, my, you're not my friend, okay? So don't act like it. Second of all, my friends don't email me, all right? We text. So, don't be asking me what I thought about fucking marriage in America or whatever.

What did you think of marriage in America? Also, what is in that email? I've never even clicked in it. You're clicking in it? What is this survey? I don't know. Let's look. Because it asked me recently.

Let's look. Now I'm pissed. Netflix. A new... I don't know. I was in Calgary. Netflix. What do you think?

Oh, here you go. What do you think of this unchosen? I tried to watch a movie that show Unchosen. Did you like this? And then I could thumbs up or thumbs up. down it but that see what it's trying to get me to do is just look at other shows here and now maybe want to watch another show but i don't want to so jokes on them um we go who just right now and my fucking i look in billy's crib and he's just got an orange with him like you're walking in my

in my bedroom, why does, why does Billy have an orange in the crib? And she says, because she's half asleep, she says, because Pac-Man has an orange. Pac-Man tries to get an orange.

Okay. Kids are fucking nuts, dude. God, that's so cute. I just wanted to wake him up and be like, hey, yo, you're cute, huh? But yeah, I don't know what's going to go on

with the camera theft. It's sad when someone's something it wasn't even mine it was my friends and I was like it's it makes you feel violated and it wasn't even mine dude what's the M&M thing and it ain't mine you know what I'm talking about no you know not use the rubber and it ain't mine or some shit I don't know it doesn't matter it's all good dude uh but yeah dude you know you don't see you see dude we had i i was in so i did two shows at this um what do you call it com this comedy theater it's like a theater it's like a club but it's set up like a theater i did four shows

sorry not two i did two nights four shows and then the next day i went to vancouver island and uh when i went to vancouver island my manager hit me up and he was like hey who's opening for you and i I was like, I don't know. Did you get somebody? And he was like, no, you didn't ask me to. And I said, yes, I did. And he said, oh, my bad. So I'm like, all right, I'll just do it.

I don't care. I'm the fucking man. I don't give a shit. I'll go out on stage and I'll just start, bitch. I won't even fucking, don't even, don't even do a music. I'll just walk out. I don't give a fuck, bro. So I'm there.

And I'm like, all right. So it's just going to be me going out on stage. Get ready. And then I look, I pull up my Instagram, I guess. And there is a, what's up? A missed call? Hey, don't. never call me on

Instagram. Okay? Somebody called me on Instagram. And I go, what the fuck? I forgot you could do that. And I look at the message the guy sent and he says, oh man, I would love to open for you.

And I'm like, what? So I look at his page and he like, you know, does stand up and has a show. in British or Campbell River and stuff and I'm like I look at his stuff

I look at his stuff I look one of his videos I was like all right it's funny and then so I'm like all right dude hit up Sam so he hits up Sam and Sam's like you want this guy to open for you and I'm like I don't give a fuck bro so I was like yeah sure let him do however long you know so he comes in and he's with another guy

and he's like Sam's like they're both together they both do stand up you want to let them both do it I was like sure man and then Sam's like so how long you guys want to do and the guy's like I can do like

three or four minutes and I'm like oh my God when did you start today and then the other guy's like I can do six and I'm like, oh, fucking, hey, dude, let's get it. And they went out there and kind of did comedy.

And then I went out there and just, what's up, bro? Campbell River shit. Cool, nice dudes. And, you know, they obviously just started. But man, they talk about right place, right time. Dude, they were so excited. It was cute. It was so cute.

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That's from Noah to his babe. Go to holler dot baby slash Christaly if you want to get a shout out on this podcast just like Noah did. And that's how we do it. I'm sorry, Puff, but I don't give a fuck. If this chick was my own mother, I still funker with no.

rubber and come inside of her and have a son and a new brother at the same time and say that it just ain't mine what's my name i mean so many rhymings dude i'm sorry puff but i don't give a fuck if this chick was my own mother i still fucker with no rubber and come inside of her and have a son like a new brother at the same time and just saying it ain't it's what just doesn't stop dude anyway autistic um but so that got us demonetized Uh, what? Yeah, I know. He's talking about Jennifer Lopez. Yeah, Jennifer Lopez.

But did you see Jennifer Lopez with the fucking thing where she was like walking out and the pep the paparote? Dude, celebrity. Celebrities fucking suck, you know? Like, in celebrity, like, she was walking out and she was like letting. Now, this is not on J-Lo. Okay. This is not on J-Lah because you don't know why she did this. You know, at first glance, it looked like, so she's walking out.

of this place, all the paparices are waiting for her to get out, and she kind of stops before she walks out and ushers everybody out, like, she's going to be walking out. Like, there's a mom with a baby. She's like, go ahead. And then there's a work, an employee of the hotel or wherever she is, and she's like, you know, and then she walks out and everyone, and she walks out and she's like, Jayla, Jaylo here, check, go there. And at first glance, she's like, oh, uh, Jaillo is like, a lunatic. You're just like, oh, she's just, what, it looks like she thinks,

the earth revolves around me, you know? And you go, this is so stupid. And then you think, well, actually, let's put myself in that situation. Okay, if I'm walking out, I'm a huge celebrity like J-Lo, right? and the paparazzi's out there, you know, and there's people in the way, and one of them is a mother holding a baby.

I actually might be like, oh, you might want to get out of here. I don't know if you want the fucking to be in the picture. I don't know. It's kind of dangerous paparazzi. So who knows? Maybe, so there's two ways to look at it, but at first glance, you go, oh, man, this sucks. And you go, and you think, I mean, look,

Jaila probably does think the world revons around her. But you don't know. Everybody's crazy. And I'm sorry, pup, but I don't give a fuck. If this chick was my own mother, I still'm offker with no robber and Othkin Kider with a son and a new brother. At the same time, I'm just saying,

it ain't mine once in my name. So, yeah. Tom Brady, what's up, dude? I mean, I'm trying to not believe in adrenaline chrome. You know, I don't believe in adrenaline chrome. And then Tom Brady just showing up like the fucking gay drawings in 1940 at the Gucci fucking runway with the double flap, leather jacket and leather pants, just,

Tom Brady with the, with the cheekbones, dude. Set, 42, cheekbones, hot. Dude, cheekbones, cheekbones, 42. I can't believe, how to fuck money makes you hot. And I got to use some of mine to get fucking hotter, man. I really do. You know, I really fucking do. But I'd be at the gym, dude, pushing hard.

You know, not trying to necessarily stay younger, but stay fit. But I got to use some of my money to get fucking hot, like really hot. Fuck, man. Because I'll tell you what, man. Tom Brady, hot take here. When he first got drafted, he wasn't that hot. high, he was just a guy, and now he looks great. Men in their 40s could look great.

And if you don't, that's on you. You know, it could have to do with money. But, like, if you have some money in your 40s and you're ugly, you fucked up. You fucked up. And that's fine, because you don't have to look good if you're a man in your 40s. But if your whole brand is looking good, you got to look good, right? Like, you know, Mario Lopez, like, yeah, of course, he's got great jeans, but he obviously, you know, does skin care. You know he's 68?

But I'll tell you one time he saw me out Halloween. There's this big alien with a fucking face mask. He's like, Chris, what's up? I'm like, who? What are you doing? He's like, it's me, Mario. I'm like, Mario fucking who? It was Mario Lopez.

Look. I'm like, oh, yeah. I'm sorry, Puff. But I don't give a fun. What's this all about? Visit BetMGM Casino and check out the newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick. BetMDM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly.

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This is all about. Guy rolls up on scooter to defend. Oh, shit. Guy rolls up on a scooter to defend a bike thief from getting beat up. Then the bike thief tries to steal a scooter? Wait, okay, hold on. I've got to do some fucking math here. Guy rolls up on a scooter to defend a bike thief from getting beat up.

Okay. Then the bike thief. Oh, wow. That's fucking amazing. Come on. Oh, my God. Gosh. That is hilarious, dude.

The guy just wants something. Whatever's a run, I'm taking it. Whoa. God, how annoying he's a guy fucking shooting it. Oh, how's going to get him? God, I fucking hate guys who steal shit like that. Fucking. Just.

I'm watching this one on Netflix. I was watching it about, what is it called it's kind of new it's with the lady um you know i always want to i was come home i watch a fucking i see a new thing on the netflix and i'm like oh hell yeah and and i go i'm going to put this on and christin's always like i already watched it and i'm like it fucking came out five hours ago dude um it's three episodes and it's with this lady that oh oh oh it's called uh should i marry this this guy that killed someone or something,

what the fuck is it called? Should I marry a murderer? That's what it's called. Should I marry a murderer? Right? Okay. And this woman is like, you know,

I swear to God, dude, I can really tell when people are just fucking crazy. I'm good at it. And I don't mean to sound like a fucking chick. Chick say stuff like that. I can just sense these things. But man, I mean,

I'm like, crazy whisperer because I can tell dude this lady starts getting in on a documentary she's like should I have married should I he told me he killed someone and I'm like what I have to do I've got a fucking tell the cop I've got to tell the coppers I got to do this because if I don't then it's like my conscience is just fucking going to go it's going to be going batty mate as a mantas driver me mantos breaking down and then like so this guy meets this girl And she, first of all, she's like, he's a 10. And you know, this guy's a fucking 10.

And then shows him and he's like a fucking 5.5. So already credibility out the window. Oh, yeah, looks her in the eye of the beholder. Unless you're a fucking 5.5. Looks her in the eye of the beholder if you're an 8 to 10. But, uh, not if you're a 5.5. she's just wrong oh you're just wrong and so she gets with this dude after a few months you know she she wants to be with them and they're this is moving too fast you know and then he's like

will you marry me and she's like yeah and he's like okay but i got to tell you something she's like what he's like i hit a guy once driving drunk and He fell off his bike and he died. And instead of going to the police, I fucking buried him. Now, that's all sorts of illegal. I can't be doing that.

And don't do that. And I'd like to think I wouldn't do that. But here's the thing. The guy is entrusting information like this. to his fiance. Now, Guy. Hey, guy.

What are you doing? Eat that. Die with it. Okay? Hey, that's just supposed to become cancer in a few years. Don't be telling people you fucking killed someone and buried them. Even your wife. Okay?

Also, you just met her four months ago. So you're moving too fast. Tell her after you got some kids. She can't go anywhere. So she's like, oh, yeah, it's all good. What do I? And then behind closed her, she's like, what do I do? I've got a tow to fucking cops.

So she fucking tried to, like, secretly record him. And get him to admit it and then told the cops. And the cops were like, all right. This is actually a guy a long time ago that, we know got killed and we never found out who did it and we've always been looking for it. So thanks. Arrest him. They arrest him.

And she says, the cops are like, we can't keep him. And she's like, well, what the fuck? He's going to know, I told you. And they're like, no, he's not. And she's like, I'm fucking here he is. And then so she's like, so he's like, just don't worry about it. Basically, the cops say they don't give a fuck, you know. But so she like moves back in with them.

Hey, girl. She moves back in with this fucking killer she's supposedly afraid of because of whatever. She makes him feel, he makes her feel love also. I don't know. But so now they're like, okay, you got to testify. And she's like, no. Hey, bitch. And I'm like, okay, all right, I understand.

There's a lot of turmoil and inner, uh, you know, stress. But hey, wouldn't you know it? Another lady that doesn't know what she wants. Dude, if you're going to fucking turn your husband in for murdering someone, do it. Don't pull a whoopsie, Daisy. Okay? So the cops go,

well, what the fuck? What the fuck, in it? You kidding me? You fucking told us it happened and now you won't even be the star witness. That's fucking bonkers, mate. And she's like, don't catch here you.

And then so she fucking then out of the blue starts recording him again to confess again because she changes her mind again wouldn't you just know it then she goes to the police

and says hey I got even better evidence I recorded it in an even more clear way and the cops are like oh that's fucking amazing mental but amazing will you testify? She's like,

a hell yeah. And so, all right, they set the fucking court date, the day of the court, she fucking leaves. She leaves. And

records her day on Snapchat. Throw the case out. You fucked it up too much, lady. Lady? So at the end, they,

finally get this guy he agrees to a plea deal he gets like 15 years and at the end they're like so what do you think about what she did to everybody like everybody that was in the documentary and they were like she was really brave you know she must have been through a lot of in a turmoil and all this shit and ultimately she's and then it goes to the guy's defense the killer's defense and they're like so what do you think of her you think that what she did was noble and brave and he just goes no and you're like why not he's a because she fucking that she fucked it it all up maybe in the beginning if she fucking did it right away but she didn't she fucked up the and i clapped dude i clapped because i'm like am i the only crazy one that thinks that this

fucking lady is just an asshole like look if you're moral and you're holier than now and you fucking, you know, oh, you go, I would never marry somebody who has a secret like that. Fine. Then fucking make that decision and stand ten toes deep in it. I mean, even the fucking title of the documentary is insecure. Should I marry someone who killed someone? Or what the fuck it is? Make up your fucking mind and then do that.

You know? I mean, it's okay to change your mind. But twice? About a murder? You're scared, but you're living with them? If you're scared, don't live with them. he didn't even know it was her that did it he was like i think they've been building the case for a long time you would never sell me out and she's like no i wouldn't and then she did the back and forth

dude she's basically mint romney she's flip-flopping um but yeah that's uh shit i it's three episodes it's good i didn't finish it but you know i got you know one of one as soon as those things are like yeah he's guilty i'm like all right but thong i'm done i go watch the next one Or I got to watch the fucking day new ma or the catch up. Dude, nothing I hate more than those. There is no TV show. I dislike more than the reality show anniversary meetup. I don't care what happened on the reality show.

The guy, I mean, dude, I don't care what gay guy wants to. interview them. I don't care if it's in front of a live audience. I don't give a fuck at all. First of all, I don't care about the reality show when it's happening. Now, obviously, I'm

not the demographic they're going for, but the whole 10 years later let's you know, catch up with the fucking cast from Zest Patrol or whatever the hell they're fucking, you know, hey, yeah, welcome. They're all, you know, they're all

botococ. out. One guy's super fat with chest hair. Ah, we're catching up with zest patrol. It's a 15 year anniversary of, of, fuck, it's the zesty reunion. And they're like, and then they sit down and the fucking gay guy, whoever it's either Andy Cohen or another gay guy, right? He's just like, so what did you think about when they threw the thing out the window? What? You covered this. Back then, dude.

I don't want any updates on anything. I saw a fucking, I love the show Sopranos. Something hit my algorithm. They were like 20 years since Sopranos fucking ended. I go, not watching. Didn't watch it. I'm sorry, Puff. But yeah, anyway.

Ripped through this podcast, fucking Midnight, Lucy Goosey Delirium. Chris Delirium. Oh, that's kind of cool. My son says, sleeping in his fucking crib with an orange. Like he's a Mexican. Mexican on the side of a freeway. But yeah, dude, the provider.

That's it. You know, as a guy, as a man, you know, you're like, oh, yeah, I can't. You know, if you're the provider, you go, okay, I'll provide. And then you go, it's great. And you're like, I'll just work. And you're like, I'll just be a good dad. You're like, I'll be good husband, you know. and you're like, I am, but you know what I would like?

I think this would make pretty much almost everything all better. And everything's great, by the way. But, you know, sometimes you get bogged down with stress. We should, men should be able to have, and I, dude, I'm going to be honest, it doesn't need to be a woman. I this is not a sexual thing at all men just need someone with nails to scratch their head whenever the fuck they want dude and you know like I would love that right now but my wife's sleeping you know fuck I want that now though so if I just had a head scratcher I mean I wouldn't really want it to be

be a guy. I'd like for it to be a woman, but I get it. If my wife's uncomfortable with that, you know. But just somebody to just scratch my fucking goddamn head whenever the shit I want. You know? When I go to sleep, when I wake up, I don't give a shit. Just get them flakes out, you know? Oh, too, and it's too hard. You know what? Maybe it's, I don't know, man, but I can't wait the fucking back day tomorrow i'm gonna pull fucking so much shit dude i'm gonna keep pulling i'm gonna pull so much shit people think i'm trying

get away with something dude he keeps pulling yeah that's sense so he does dude it's his back day was he trying to get away with something nah um but yeah it's the fucking is what it is bro

I need to be uh I need to be chilling I hope it's I hope it's fucking sunny tomorrow because I've been trying to work on my tan you know don't really get much time to do it though it was

it was gloomy out in Canada it's fucking raining so much of Vancouver God it rained so much that sucks well I don't know I you know I'm good I appreciate you guys listening and I got to make some fucking food I so hungry and I got to hire a head scratcher bro that would be the fucking shit I'm gonna talk to my wife about that can it be a guy I don't give a fuck just I if he's straight you know

I appreciate you guys for listening go to chrissy dot com check out my my uh my my tour I got a bunch of dates coming up you know like I said uh San Jose Miami Denver Las Vegas. Appreciate you guys. Nashville. I'll be there soon. And subscribe to Super Good. Thank you very much.