Congratulations with Chris D'Elia - 511. Mindville

Episode Date: June 11, 2026

Get a shoutout on Congratulations: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠holler.baby/chrisdelia⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🎤 The 'B-SIDE' Special is on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WATCH⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 😏 Wondering where the missing episodes are? they're on Patreon: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/chrisdelia⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Extended episodes + 1 whole extra episode every month. Also no ads. This week Chris discusses the Bricks and Minifigs controversy, hookin in Las Vegas, and how to become religious. Plus missed connections! 🎰 Legendz Social Casino and Sportsbook. 100% match on your first purchase. (up to $100) ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠legendz.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Spread the love using the hashtag #congratulationspod on Instagram, X, and everywhere else, and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.  📸 Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠instagram.com/chrisdelia⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🕺 TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tiktok.com/@chrisdelia⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🎮 Twitch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠twitch.tv/chrisdelialive⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 𝕏 X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠x.com/chrisdelia⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 👤 Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠facebook.com/chrisdeliaofficial⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Runk Hey guys, what's up? It's episode 511 of Congratulations. You know, I am back fresh from Las Vegas

and my, I guess, I don't know, my buddy Sam was telling me the other day that every time he goes to Vegas his lips get chapped and I think he hexed me

because my lips are chapped. I woke up today and they were just bleeding. And I was in Vegas for all of you know, two days. But the shows were awesome. Vegas is cool. It was super hot, fine, whatever.

And I stayed at the Aria, and I realized for no reason I stayed at the Aria. I just was like, yeah, I stayed there before. You know, I'm a creature of habit. I'm like, I'm going to the Aria again. And then when I got it, I went to the coffee place in the Aria that I've been to before when I was at the Aria

and I got coffee and the guy behind the counter said, oh, did you ever find your wallet? And I was like, oh, he's like, yeah, that was here. I remember you. I was like, oh, yeah, no, I didn't. And then I was like, oh, yeah, that all happened here too. And I asked for them to look at the security footage to see what happened to my wallet and they didn't.

So why am I staying at the Aria again? Like what? They played me, dude. Why can't they just check? I don't like the whole thing where it's like, well, you know, privacy and the privacy, you stole my wallet. That's private. All that stuff in there is private. You know?

My, my, I had a half dollar that my dad cut up once, gave one to my brother and one to me and said, you always be brothers no matter what. Matt lost his about, you know, 20 years ago. I had mine up until that day. At the Aria. I'm a better brother than he is, I guess. Symbolically, at least, I had another $100 that Theo Vaughn gave me in 2022 because he was the first person to get me paid doing stand-up again after my hiatus.

That's gone. That's private. Hey, are you? The hell's that $100? Now I got some guy, now there's some guy in Barstow just, you know, paying, you know, his drug dealer with it. That $100 might be, you know, and that's maybe that's special for them too. That's my first crack. My first crack.

But, you know, and then I had a bunch of other, you know, other money. Yeah, you know what's in a wallet. And I liked the wallet. How about that? Hello? Check the tape. Sorry. But they didn't.

They don't care. No, what cares? But, you know, I don't need to talk about this wallet all over again. But anyway, I got, I still got my, I got my wallet. Now I got my wallet. I lost my wallet one time and that's the one time. I've lost one thing one time and that was it. You know, and that's, no, I lost a phone once, went early on in the days of cell phones

at downtown LA and the standard. I just left it somewhere. And it was before cell phones were smart. So I just go, I was just like, yeah, oh, yeah. It doesn't matter. It didn't. It didn't matter if you lost your cell phone, really. When you had Snake and all that, on the Nokia.

And now, my, my, my, you know, my, it's, it's, you got to, you got to, yeah, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they created a product that we need and we can't get rid. We can't get rid of it. It's our wallet. Uh, it's our, it's our, it's our, um, we use it to get on the plane. Can you, if you go to the airport, you don't have your phone, can you even do anything or no? I guess if you have an ID. But, you know, you just, you just, we're messed. We're messed.

You know about the AI, the meta thing? They were just like uploading people's faces up in their glasses. Name tag is it called? They just go, Hey, you walk by. And you got the meta glasses. They go, hey, yo, that's Susan. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

This guy right here, he's Gary. You know him. Checking. You know, Gary? You don't? Now you do. Yeah, he's from Houston, but right now you're walking by him in Times Square.

Know how I know? Gary's got pictures out there in the internet. And guess what? You're John. We know that. Gary meet John. And they just had that all up in their code, dude. and wired website, I guess it used to be a magazine, is a magazine?

Are there even magazines anymore? Dude, I drove by a magazine place the other day and I go, wow, I actually felt something when I would go there. Like I felt the pages inside me. I felt the, what's the gamer magazine thing I used to look at? Was it GamePro magazine maybe? Was it GamePro? Gaming what?

Formant? Oh, informant. No, he's game pro, though. And I, and I remember looking at those and, like, just being really in it, you know what I mean? Just really just kind of in that, in it, in the moment, you know what I mean? And then maybe I'd get like a, you know, I got like Fangoria once. It was like a, you know, a special effects thing for movies. Why do, wow, we used to buy magazines, bro.

And now we just, you know. Anyway, dude, that's crazy that AI or meta was doing that. And it's also crazy that how just wrong everyone is at life, you know? I guess I don't want to say evil. I don't like evil because everyone justifies what they do no matter what, I think, probably. And they're all a product of their environment. And that's not an excuse because, like, you know, people came up out of hardships. rose to, you know, I don't know, like they were really great.

Like, I don't know, Nicholas Cage or something. I have no idea. Well, he's a Nepo baby, but, um, yeah. And, and like, so, so it's just insane that these people who run the world are just, you know, like Trump's shutting down New York City, five blocks to go to the Knicks game. Hey guy, that's fucking annoying. Okay? Hey, hey, dude.

New York is already hard to get around. You're going to close down five fucking city blocks? Dude, don't go. Hey, Trump. Don't go to the basketball game. Just because they invited you, you know? It's just so annoying. He's just like, yeah, I'll go.

And then he goes, so much money. Everyone's, everything's cut, you know. how are you 80 and still wanting to go to a basketball game anyway? And you're a billionaire. That's that's the crazy thing. Dude, if I'm a billionaire, one of the top things I'm going to not do is go to a basketball game. Oh, dude,

I don't have to fucking do anything anymore, literally. I don't have to, uh, my friends who, they could have come to me. That's how good of a friend I am. Come to me, man. dude here's here's a you know $8,000

get to me you want me to go where here's eight G's get to me stay as long as you want but like to go like to you know I see Timothy Shalamee and the you know if you're a big sports fan or whatever Spike Lee

or you know but it's the most expensive sporting event in history right it's like the worst seat ever is $14,000 who's going who's going Who do you know going? You know, you're going to have like fucking top celebrities

blowing their eardrums out in the nosebleed seats. J-Lo's going to be back there. My love don't cause a thing, but you know this seed did holy shit. Holy chit. My love don't cost a thing. Let me see that thong. Every song's the same.

Um, no, those two songs are kind of similar. I'm going to be in Miami. I'm going to be in Pittsburgh. I'm going to be in Utah. I'm going to be in Denver. Holy crank. I'm going to be in Tulsa, Louisville. Dude, these things just keep going on.

Go to chrystal lee.com. What's crazy is time keeps going. And I, you know, I'm in my head. I'm like, man, Louisville is until a while. And then I go, Louisville's coming up. I better start talking about it. but anyway um

god you know these people who are just so rich and ruining everything are amazing anyway anyway let's see what's up Las Vegas is

so Las Vegas I didn't see any hookers I'm the guy who doesn't really know what hookers look like did you know that like hot women can walk by and my friends are like oh you see that

I go, yo, what's up? And they're like, that's the hooker. And I'm like, how do you know? And they're like, because, dude, you could tell. I'm like, oh, what do you do? What do you do? How do you do a hooker? Hey.

Or you stand near them, right? That's what you do? And then they go, then they look at you and they go, hey, what's going on? And you go, oh, hey. And they say, you know, do you like this? Do you like the aria? No, I actually lost my wallet here last time. Oh, but I got a new wallet.

Well, it's my old wallet, but I got a new. I use it now. So it's re. I'm re-reused. using it anyway. I like it also. I know how to make them wet, dude. It's an old wallet, new wallet kind of thing anyway. Are you a hooker? Excuse me, ma'am. I hate to do this because if you're not, it's going to blow up. But are you hooker? Ayerro, that's great news. Listen, I'm in the market for a BJ. Uh, uh, do you want to go to my room or freeze? Oh,

God damn it. Wait, isn't it legal there? Wait, it's not legal in the casinos, is it? Yeah, whatever. Dude, I don't, you know what? It's like, no. But Calvin woke me up last night. I'm in the bed. It's 3.30 in a morning. Dad? I go, no. And he says, um, I have a question for you. And I'm like, oh, it's a horror movie. Hey, dude. It's a horror movie. Oh, dude. Setting up a universe? Setting up a trilogy?

Perfect. Oh, dude. Hey, that's what... Hey, Dad, I have a question for you. Oh, you're setting up question for you? The cinema is great. Perfect. Question for you?

Question for you. Hey, dad, I have a question for you. Oh, dude, this is the first of many? Great. Perfect, dude. Get the guy... Fucking, I always mix him up with Josh Lucas. Who's the guy Patrick...

Wilson. Get Patrick Wilson. Listen. And so he says, I have a question for you. And I say, well, what is it, bud? You know, I wake the fuck up for my kids, bro. If they got a question. Could be 3.30 on night.

Like, what's up? And he says, you know, I really look up to you. And he said, oh, yeah, that's good, bud. And he crawls into bed and gets under the covers. And I'm like, in my head, I'm falling asleep. I'm like, that's not a fucking question. It's really nice though. I may feel real good.

And then I realized as I'm falling back to sleep that he was just trying to get to my good graces because he wanted to sleep in the bed. You know what I'm saying? I had a real great night with him last night though because he was upset and kind of like worried, scared. I can't remember about what. But he was like, dude, I'm scared of a monster.

And I was like, which one? And he was like a purple monster that's also black that has eight eyes. And I'm like, did you just fucking make that up? He was like, yeah. I was like, you just thought of it?

He's like, yeah. So, well, you know what? It doesn't exist, right? And you said, no, I know. But my brain, you know, it's still, when I think of it, it gets me scared. And I'm like, hell yeah, bro, I get it.

I used to be the same way. I'm still the same way, dude. Are you kidding me? I'm still the same way. One day I think, I'm just, I'm on the road or something or even at the supermarket and I go, oh, my family

is getting invaded at the house. And I can't stop thinking of it and I call my, and I call my wife nine times in a row. I should never pick up because women don't pick up, especially the wives. Babe, what? You know? No, what do you mean what? It's been two and a half fucking hours.

I'm fine. Everything's fine. I'm just, I'm, I'm, you know, I had the computer open and the music was, I don't know. Everyone could have drowned. How do you not pick up? How do you not check your phone in? an hour, dude. You know why?

Because they're just chilling. But anyway, yeah, and then I was like, well, talk to me about this monster. He's like, I don't want to. And I was like, yeah, no, come on. Just lay it all out. I pause Cape Fear for it, you know?

I'm a real sucker for fucking big, like, you know, what is it? It sounds like that? I don't know what it is. You know, Godzilla, whatever. the brum, brum, brum, brum, brum. What is that? Some kind of horn.

Horns, dude. I love horns. I'm so horny. Rhy. Rang, wrong. Rang. There's only one genre

that that could be. And it's fucking stalker genre. You know what I mean? And it's so simple. Simple music is just fantastic. Now they fuck it all up with like Bruno Mar's shit. And like, just be simple, dude. Brombron, wrong, wrong, wrong.

Visit BetMGM Casino and check out the newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick. BetMDM and Game Sense remind you to play responsibly. 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2,600, to speak to an advisor.

Free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to a person. an operating agreement with iGaming ontario uh so i'm watching cape fear my son comes down pause it um it's the first scene and i went upstairs with him and i was like dude you know what i would do he was like what i was like what you scared the monster coming in in the house and like getting you is that what you're scared of and he was like yeah it's like bro you know what i would do he was like what first of all i would i would try to disarm a monster and be the monstrous friend.

And you know how I would do that? And he said, how? And I said, I've been making that dude laugh, right? Because that's my specialty. I've been doing it ever since I was a little kid. I've been making people laugh. I bet I could make the eight-eyed monster laugh. You know, and he's wiping his tears a little bit.

I'm like, so you got nothing to worry about. And you know what? I bet you could do that too, dude. He's like, yeah, but he just looks so scary. I go, yeah, but make him your best friend. Yeah, but instead of that, make him your best friend, dude. Because that's kind of, you know,

you're going to run into enemies in your life. You're going to have legit enemies, right? Like you're some Tom Cruise character. But in real life, you could just, you can just kind of make them your best friend, right? Like I got a guy who's arguing me over property right now. We're in a little bit of a legal battle, you know, over property. Bro, give me 10 minutes with that motherfucker.

And I don't mean I'll beat him up. No. I'll make that dude feel so loved. We'll figure it out. Oh, he wanted to take it the hard way. And he didn't want to fucking do remediation. And so now he's never getting to land. I'll go out there sleep with a sleeping back.

Eh, uh, he's out there with the land. I'm, eh, oh. Hey, how's it going, boy? Hey, what's going on? I'm just walking by shitting on the way out Oh boy A little squeaked it out didn't I

B'en eh Let it link a little bit Ha ha ha ha ha ha What the fuck is wrong with that Is that that comedian? Could have been my best friend Instead I had to fucking Max caddy out of it

And fucking squeak it out dude Just had to squeak out a shit Over on the fucking on that cul-de-sac, dude. Oh, bro. Have you seen this fucking, you know, reckless Ben thing? No, bro. No, no, no, no.

No, no. Do you know what it is, do you guys, everyone? If you don't know what it is, you know, somebody told me, you've got to see this Lego thing with Ben, reckless Ben. What? Do you know it? Okay. Have you seen it? The thing? Have you seen any of it? Okay. And I'm like, oh, dude. Hey, you sent this to the wrong guy. What the fuck do I care about Legos?

What the fuck do I care about bricks and mini figs? Also, what is it? Also, don't tell me. What is it and don't tell me? That's my whole life. Don't know, but don't tell me. um and uh and and and and and and and and and this guy oh dude i mean just this is what i'm talking about criminal activity dude this old man who's 80 something ailing you know has it the world's most expensive star wars lego's collection dude i'm like what you know why am i even saying this but it is true you know what we'll fucking timeline are we in? Well, he's got the most expensive Star Wars Lego collection of all time. Oh, yeah? Yeah. There was the Black Plague. Yeah. Well, this guy's got the most expensive

Star Wars collection. And Lego, what do you want from me? I'm just saying, dude, in the early 1800s, or the mid-1800s, the Irish, you know, the famine and all that? Yeah, no, I understand. This guy has the world's most valuable Star Wars Legos collection. I don't know. He wouldn't tell me. Okay. Spanish Inquisition. No, I understand. Yeah, but this is the guy this whole life has been getting on the most legal fan. Yeah, people died of the fucking

sure. I'm just saying. And and so he wanted to sell it in consignment. Like, he wanted to sell it. He took it. He took it. I think it was his grandkid. right he was like i'm going to go bring it to bricks and mini figs which is a company that is a huge company that is like a star wars they sell they no sorry legos they sell lego stuff

and that's all i know about that i don't you might be like what does that mean i don't fucking know go look the fuck you that's the whole thing i don't know don't tell me and you know so they give the the the grand son who's who's like you know 30 something gives the the whole set to this franchised um bricks and mini figs building uh with an owner you know obviously and so they they they sign it over to him to be at the shop and everything that they sell will they'll take a small percentage of and the family gets the money the family who brought it in you know and in the contract it says this is our property.

It's our Legos. Even though it's at your store, we are the rightful owners. Signed, Seon, Delavis. And so they keep it there. And then corporate bricks and mini figs gets involved. Eh, oh, little Legos. Hey, oh, look,

A, oh, grown-ups. Fucking grown up. E. Fuck. It's the wrong one. I can't get these little ones off. You have a Exacto knife. Fucking goddamn.

So it's the little one piece ones. You can't get off the little flat floors. You can't do... Oh, turn it sideways. Okay, you're right. Make it a diamond and then pull up. Okay. And so...

So... So they get involved and they say, hey, we're taking over this Bricks and Minifigs store or whatever the fuck. Bricks and minifigs, you know? I got to say that now because that's what it is. Fucking timeline. Yeah, but the fucking life expectancy was 52. Back.

You know, no, I know, but this is the guy that has the right now. But right now we're doing the, this is the world's most expensive Star Wars Lego collection in the history of the world. And it's $200,000. So this is the bricks. Anyway, have bricks and mini figs hold it. So, so I,

so the guy, you know, gives them, uh, the shit and the corporate comes over and they take over the store. and then they kicked the manager out. And then they try to go get, I'm butchering the story, but something like this. The guy, the grandson goes back and he's like, hey, you guys have my Legos and they go like,

I'm sorry, what? No. And they go, yeah. And then bricks and mini figs go. No. And the guy goes, but, and then bricks and mini figs goes, what you're going to do though, bro? And he says,

I'm going to sue you and he says, I go for it. And they can't, you know, they use legal loopholes and laws to say, you know, look, this family isn't going to be able to pay the amount in lawyer fees as we are bricks and minifigs because we're Titans in the Lego industry. And so this dude, reckless Ben, I love how people could just be named. you know, just whatever the fuck they want that now, you know? Remember in the 80s? You could, you were, you were just Charles.

You couldn't be anybody but Jennifer, dude. And now you can just be, you know, I saw somebody the other day. There was an article, it was literally like slut 420 whisperer. They were doing an article on her. And it was really, it was really close to what I just said, slut 420 whisperer like and i'm just like a whole article about this person what's her fucking is it lisa though just like a high like a photo shoot she's just what's your name bitch she's just fucking yeah lisa hey they call hi i'm looking for uh miss whisperer yeah slut 420s at you

she's just fucking flicking her yeah be you know tell them up your right there. Oh yeah. You can run a business and be like named fucking, you know, Tomcat 50. And it's, it's in any way, that's part of this timeline, you know. Yeah, people used to get their tongues cut out if they thought they were witches. Yeah, and they would stone them to fucking death and kill them. Oh yeah? Well, there's slut 420 whisperer now, so, and she, they're doing full on articles about her. good ones in positive lights she lives in Silicon Valley and so

this guy reckless Ben who's a YouTuber that's like fucking if he's not autistic I don't know if I'm more impressed either way the guy's unbelievable in a good way the guy is I mean just a dog with a bone

just a dog with a bone like oh I'll get your leg goes back I'll get your leg back. I'll get your leg is back. And they go, how? And he says, I'll figure it. And through crafty genius mentality just gets legal loopholed

into the whole thing. And he goes, well, if you're going to use the law to keep these Legos, I'm going to use the law to get these Legos. And dude, where I laughed so hard, he made a company called bricks and mini figs we steal from old people. Do you know about this?

Oh, bro. And he took a banner that said bricks and mini figs, we steal from old people. And he made a company, registered it, put the banner on their sign, and went out there and started selling merch. We steal from old people. And the cops came by and they're like,

hey, we got a call. You can't be doing this. And he's like, actually, we can. We have the paperwork right here. And they said, what about copyright infringement? And they said, oh, yeah, we're not named bricks and mini figs. Our company name is we steal from old people. Bricks and minifigs is our tagline.

And they got away with it. Dude, they got away with it. And they said, and the guy's like, and there's no law that says you can't put your tagline above above the title of your company. So now he's just fucking says bricks and mini figs. We steal from OBAMA. And dude, they set up a go fund me. It's over $400,000.

I love this shit makes me so angry. And look, I am going to honestly say, you know, and, you know, the way this guy did this is unbelievable, this reckless bent thing. There's three parts. They're all, it's like fucking. three, there's like three hour and a half long parts.

It's unbelievable. But, I think it's still ongoing right now. I don't know if they have the Legos back or what. But it's unbelievable, the link says this guy goes to get these Legos back. Unbelievable. Like, dude, people are like,

you ever seen Game of Thrones? No, not while this is on, dude. Not while this is on. I'm dead, dead serious, dude. Not while this is on. I've seen four fucking seasons of Game of Thrones. And then I tried to watch that seven nights, seven kingdoms, what the hell is called.

And, you know, the first 10 minutes, there's a guy shitting behind a tree and it shows it. And I'm just like, I'm not watching this. What are you trying to be fucking funny? You know? All you really got to do is show cocks and shitting in a show. And it's going to be like a fucking on lists. It's true.

You're going to tell me they don't show a cock in fucking, I guarantee they show a cock in Cape Fear. They're only three episodes out. But you wait. I promise you they'll show fucking at least Javier Bardem's upper root part with the pubs.

I fucking guarantee it, dude. You're doing chin-ups too high. Cut, you're actually going up too high. We can see the... And he goes, I don't care. That's what McKinty does. Just fucking hard a little bit. Showing just the bell end.

You want me to work it up? No, it's either the root or the belang. You want me to work it up? No, just never mind. Thanks. Play the song? We can put it in post. No, I want it playing all the time.

Hey, guys, I want to take a little break, talk to you about Legends. Let's take a little break and talking about Legends with a Z. Legends is a free-to-play social casino and sports book. It's legit. You know, they're running the game. It's awesome. when it comes to sports books and social casinos, they have hundreds of games.

So you can go there, peruse. It's awesome to look. You play them all, play some of them, get the ones you love, only play that one. They got stuff you could spin. It's like they got table games with live dealers. It's very cool. If you want to check it out, go to legends.com.

That's a legends with a z.com. Take advantage of the 100% match on your first purchase up to $100 and make sure to use the code for us guys. Congrats. That's the code, congrats. When signing up, that's for our listeners and watchers. And remember, keep it legendary.

The more I think about it, the more I got to fucking write a movie or a book. You know? Like, people listen to music and shit at the gym and, like, people listen to audio books and you know, they'll have a

fucking such a long conversation with a stranger. And me, I won't do that, man. And, and, and, and you know why? It's because I have my mind, dude. And I could just live there, dude. I could just, I could just live in Mindville. Dude, it would be gorgeous. I'll set up a couch.

I'll set up a fucking walls. door, you know, I'll set up a neighborhood. I live in a cul-de-sac. Fuck you, dude. You want to have a conversation with me on an airplane? I'm already in Mindville. I'm sorry, dude. I'm at the Sprouts in Mindville.

Shopping for whatever the fuck I want. You know, I don't know. I don't think, I don't think I don't want. want to be listening to fucking music and stuff that other people are making and all that. I'd rather just be thinking about like fucking, oh, whatever I want. That's the best. You know what I thought about the other day? Is, and this is kind of a sad thing.

And that's good for this comedy podcast. But I was kind of just like lay in there, not listening to music or talking to anybody and just kind of, you know, I was in Mindville just doing whatever. sitting on a cloud and I was like I always have you know what I always have me I always have me right I don't say this a lot but full stop okay I always got me there's always inside of me that I got I can retreat there if somebody betrays me if somebody fucks me over if things don't go the way I want it to, if somebody in my family, you know, passes away from old age. I still have me, right? I still have me.

Okay. And I can get to a level of headspace where I'm like, no matter what, there's comfort in that, you know. Like when I was 16, my girlfriend. at the time, broke up with me and dated my best friend. And I remember it was the worst summer I ever had, up until that point at least. And it sucked. It was awful. I was so sad. I cried a lot. And that summer, I started listening to Tupac. Okay. And I'm like, it really, really, you know, really resonated with me. And I know,

I know obviously Tupac was talking about shooting people sometimes, but there was just something about his energy and his, I'm a product of the environment that I was grown up in, that I just like totally fucking, I let it break me, dude.

Over two months, during that breakup, and then the mixture of listening to Tupac, I let it break me, dude. And I found comfort in that, dude. I found comfort in that because it was, it was, there was just me there, you know? And yeah, I had great parents and a great brother and good friends. But alone, you don't have those things.

Alone at night, when you're in the bed, you just have your mind, you know. And I'm, and I found comfort in that, you know, whether it was the escapeism and thinking of something funny or thinking about really serious things in a very intricate, way, whatever it was, I felt like some sort of comfort there. And ever since then, you know, I've had that place to go to. And it's a bit sad, right? But it's also beautiful. Like, I've got, I've always got me, no matter what happens. If they could, they could put me in a whole. They can put me in a hole forever, locked up. You can't take my imagination. You can't take me. You can't take my mind, you know? And that's, there's something interesting about that. Yes,

obviously it'd be sad if you were in a fucking box the rest of your life. But it's, it's always, no matter what they do, they can't take that. And that's like kind of like a power, you know, especially if, like, I use it for my profession. Like I imagine things, I talk about things, I share things. And that's what gets my audience to come see me or, you know, if you're on board with me, some people think that what I do is great. Some people think what I do is fucking dog shit. and I get both of those things, you know?

Because sometimes I'm like, holy shit, what I just thought was great, what I just did on stage was great. And then sometimes I'm like, ah, I fucking am I myself. Right? So no matter what you think of me, I agree with you.

Okay, it just depends on the mood I'm in. But the point is, I've always got me, and it makes me feel like a kid. It makes me feel again like I was 16 and in that, in that, in that place of like just being broken and and shed everything and just in this broken sad place. And then and then I go, man, you know what? This is what I realized in Vegas.

I said, this must be what fucking people think right before they become so religious. This must be the 46 year old version of what I'm doing. is about a month and a half away from, yeah, I'll go to church with you. I mean, fuck, whatever. And going and then just full on getting baptized and all that. I think I already am baptized. I don't know, but like, you know, just fully just getting involved and then becoming the, and I go, yeah, that's, that's, that's, why people believe in God, dude.

because it's it's too hard but man if that's god if that's you know that feeling of no matter what i'll be okay because i have that thing it's like oh that's faith it's almost it's on the tip of your tongue you go oh but that's just faith and i go yeah but um i'm i'm you know i'm not religious and i'm not i'm not somebody that says well, there's no God. Because how the fuck do you know, dude? You don't know.

But then you look at meta making the fucking AI glasses and they're scanning everybody's faces and you go, oh, God, wouldn't let that happen. And you go, yeah, but maybe it's a little realistic guy. Maybe it's a lesson. Oh, fucking lessons. Fuck off.

Can we stop with the lessons? We're all 40 now. Why don't they teach shit like that in school, by the way? Calvin comes back. He's like, oh, yeah, I learned, you know. Well, when they're six, they still are learning good things. But then when you get to be like 11, it's like, what the fuck are they teaching you?

Algebra? Stupid bitch. Fuck out of here. What do you? Bro, I did four years algebra. What is it? Sup. What is it?

Oh, dude, you can add K? Fuck you. I just got used to numbers. Oh, and how about when they tried to introduce imaginary? numbers. Remember that? Imaginary numbers. They go like that. I go, I'm out. I'm going to get a D. Fuck, I don't care. Imaginary numbers? What kind of fucking, what do you think I'm going to be a mathematician? Also, anyway, Vegas was fun, dude. We had the drunkest dude. I'll post a clip from it. Mike, I've been doing crowd work a little bit. Sometimes it's fun. I'm in different moods in my career and shit. Everyone's

always like, oh yeah, you said you hate crowdwork. I hate bad crowdwork. I hate bad crowdwork. I hate entry level crowdwork. When the comedian is just at an open mic doing crowdwork, what are you doing, dude? Say something that you thought. You know, when I see an entry level comedian doing crowdwork, I just want to, it's so insane to me.

That's me sounding like the old guy, I guess. This is great. A woman. Is this a Texas woman arrested for disguised as a man? That's a law you can't? To enter all-male barbecue competition one first place. Everyone is a... Hold on.

So this woman... Is this supposed to be like a comment on woke and trans thing? Or is this woman just like... Because here's the thing, dude. barbecue competitions shouldn't be all anything it's barbecue who gives a fuck who makes it has it

oh dude a chick with a mustache made it cool give me more I don't give a fuck I don't care who made it I don't care if Hitler made it if it tastes good I'm going to eat it like it's all about to taste

If she wants to wear a... She should... So first of all, that's wrong to have an all-something barbecue competition. Male, female, black, white, whatever, religion. Doesn't matter. How's it taste? Second of all, when did they find this out?

Like, don't let her enter. If my mom put a mustache on, she's my mom in a mustache. Not a man. By any means. And my mom is 70-something. This lady's like 40, which means she's,

she got long hair. Not that men don't have long hair, but it's a woman. Okay? First of all, the mustache looks incredibly Lego. Just so bad. And that's her mugshot.

They took it with her mugshot, which is great. Wow, this is this thing. But when did they figure it out? they go oh this is right oh this man won this is a winner this is the winner oh yeah hey sir you won hey she turns around wait a minute i don't want to fuck her why don't want to fuck him why what's up with that guy's dairy air hold on a second it's like scooby-doo you ripped the mustache off i knew it was too good to be true so so this is just basically saying well you know she she should go

out just on on a on a tear be like women are better up barbecue, fuck these chumps, you know, that would be hilarious. She won. So, and why is it illegal, I guess? Because it's a competition. And who cares? What she win? You know, what she win? A few thousand dollars? Yeah, I mean, that, that could, that, that, that's a lot of money. I get it. But if she fooled you to, the point till you didn't understand she fooled you afterwards, done deal. That's in the past. You fucked up, you idiots. You stupid morons couldn't tell tits and a pussy with a mustache on.

Not even a mustache. It was just like a fucking Halloween thing. Anyway, I love that she wore an Adidas zip up for it. Like, she's like, oh, that's what a guy wears. Staples' preferred business membership built for busy business owners, because you've got bigger things to think about. With Staples Preferred, get free delivery. No minimums.

Staples Preferred unlocks up to 3% back. Plus 10% savings on print and exclusive wireless offers. One less thing on your plate. Actually, a lot less. Visit staples.ca slash preferred. That was easy. Dude. So what's paprika?

Did they say she use paprika? Or is that a joke? So, Joe. Okay, so, okay. So I guess you're the only barbecue snobs in Texas believe salt and pepper are the only thing that belong on meat. I guess that's what it is. Okay, who cares? Oh, cool.

The most interesting thing of all the time. Oh, great. Oh, it's something I couldn't care about less. Great, got it. Why would a barbecue, why would a barbecue competition, why is, why is BBQ the way we do that? I don't But you don't do that with other words Or just take three of the words

Through their letters out of them And just put them in That's how we'll spell it Yeah, that's gonna be boring though, you know Do it? You want me to? Okay. He wants me to do it.

Why do they abbreviate BBQ? People abbreviate barbecue as BBQ for convenience, visual impact And playful phonetic spelling. That's corny. I mean, so it goes on a sign, fine. It doesn't, it doesn't mean that that's how you spell it since the last syllable of

barbecue is Q. Sounds like the word Q. Yeah, I mean, you know, when did this start? I want to know when it started. Oh, here we go. Fucking indigenous roots, dude. Come off it. Indigenous roots. The word derived from barbacoa. That shit makes me hungry of Babakoa. A term used by indigenous Taino people of the Caribbean. It originally referred to a raised wooden framework. used to smoke and slow cook meat over a fire. All right, that's boring. I told you be fucking boring, dude. Meets.

I cook meats. We made that guy fucking a king. What's his name? Mark Zuckerberg. Why would barbecue competition be gendered? Here we go. Yeah, that's exactly what I said. Oh, they're saying it's made up.

Yeah, that's what they're saying in the comments, but it's okay. Whatever. Congratulations, they did it. Honestly, if you trick me, it's real. It's like George Costanza when he's like, it's only a lie if they find out, or whatever the fuck he said. Fantastic, bro.

Sure. Not worth any of the... Let's look at these, what do you call it? Misconnections, dude. It's been a minute. And I do get, still get messages like, please do misconnections. And I, you know, sure.

Here's one, ghosted. Looking for the lady that ghosted me. Really bummed me out. How the fuck is? this lady going to know who the hell you are? Every lady has ghosted a guy this week. You think they're going to, this has got to be bullshit. People are crazy. Here's another one. Free horseback riding lessons. Up, there's a, there's going to be a catch if I ever heard one. Here we go. I have a black stallion ready. Found the catch. I have a black stallion ready for

to be rowed. I mean, just so many words in there. If any women interested in in a free ride today only. And today is two words. Unbelievable, dude. Oh, my God. The title of this one, NBA slam dunk in my rim mouth. In my rim mouth. Compton.

Gangsta. Don't tell me when. Oh, my God, dude. Don't tell me when. Just dunk. Wipe the ball off my court and I leave. Your court. Not my.

Fine. Fucking a Nike commercial, dude. A Nike commercial film, them black and white with Spike Lee in it. Unreal. Dude, don't tell me when. Just dunk. Wipe the ball off on my court and I leave your cord, not mine. Sneakers screeching.

NBA slam dunk in my rim mouth. Unbelievable, dude. Here's one. Convert. Tell me what conversion is all about. I'm curious. for a top man for man, mail for mail. Let me know.

Send a pick. You know what I want. Yep, just said it. All good. Crack the code. Unbelievable. Honestly, the fact that people are still doing, and I mean this specifically,

on Craigslist, is sad in 2022. Hey, guy, at least get Facebook. Are you doing this also on Instagram and TikTok? Come on, bud. Get on a hinge. This right here. Saw these guys and dot, dot, dot.

Here's the body of the thing. I'm a guy who likes to service guys. Just totally fucking the most Hail Mary. Project Hail Mary was originally about this. Because there's just no fucking way. And then they worked it out to be like, oh, that never mind. He wakes up in space. He doesn't know why he's there.

Fuck. And he tries to save the world. That's way better. There's no way this would work. And we get Ryan Gosling. He'll suck them off and the thing, service guys. Those are great ones. Those are great ones.

Let's wrap this up with some gym talk, dude. I was in the gym today, and I got a PR. I did 225 pounds chest, 25 pounds bench press five times. I did it with no help. I'm the fucking man, okay? And let's just see where I'm at in three months, dude, because I really got a new idea for a workout.

I'm going to go till failure a lot of the time. And when somebody works out and they're just doing 10 reps and it doesn't look like those last two are even hard for them, I go, okay, not sure what you were working for. But this, you know, this ain't the game I'm playing. There's a guy at my gym who makes, I would argue the most fucked up faces in America when he works out.

I would argue, like, if someone was like, you ever see somebody make fucked up faces? Who makes the most fucked up? I'd be like, I have the guy. He does, this is the face he makes when he does. In every exercise when he's,

when he's, from the first rat, it's this face. I'm not lying, dude. He goes, and be, and you would be like, oh, he's got a problem. But I open the door for him to date and he was like, oh, thanks, man. He is just a dude.

And he sticks his tongue out and fire marshal builds his teeth, dude. And he's like, you know, 60. I'm just like, bro, grow up with the, with the fucking, literally, tongue out. I'm like, oh my God. Great. Now I would get rid of it. We'll use that for the thumbnail.

But that's fine, dude. Just click the link, you know. Or click the video. All right, guys. We appreciate you. Thanks so much for listening. And I get out there. I'll be there on tour.

I'm going to Washington. DC. I'm going to a bunch of different places. Go to chrysley.com. Get tickets. Thanks.