Congratulations with Chris D'Elia - 528. Comes In Threes

Episode Date: September 17, 2026

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Runk. Hey, what's up, dude? Happy Franken. Day of congratulations. Yes. It's congratulations. Episode 527. I'm just thinking about the days where I remembered that,

I remember the days where I thought I was going to do a few episodes. And now, There's been 527. And look, dude, that's a beautiful thing because it goes to show you that you can just keep pushing and achieve the unachievable. Because it is not achievable to do 527 episodes of just you talking. But we did it. So thanks, everybody. And good night.

No, not good night. Hello. Well, it is good night if you're listening to this night because here's the thing, dude. You can listen to a little podcast, whatever you want to, and the whole landscape has changed. You used to be able to have appointment TV, and then you got VCR, and then you got rid of that, and then they had the DVR. Remember the, what was the one that went? Boop, boop, bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo what was that one? Tivo, dude.

Tevo was something for about six weeks, and they stopped that, dude. And now just everything's online and everything you ever say is just somewhere. So that's what it's going. And now there's podcasts with just people that just kind of are just they walk around and they're people. And they have a podcast that you can subscribe to. Hi, yes. But anyway, dude.

I threw on this ghost shirt They sent me a bunch of stuff Thanks wore the shirt for the pod Yoinks and was in Phoenix Yoinks and Was in Phoenix and Tempe And did some shows that were great I got some other shows coming out

Buffalo, Paris I got Atlanta, Birmingham, Alabama I got a bunch of different dates in I got Florida. I got just crazy Indiana. I got crazy dates, baby. So go to chrissly.com and go see

what kind of crazy dates I'm doing. And, you know, all is good. I'll tell you, I was on a plane today and didn't have much of a long flight. It was just from Phoenix. Tired is really tired

for some reason. Didn't bring enough contacts on the trip. dude but i've worked out for three days in a row on the trip and i'm just you know i'm just proud of that man and i don't care but um yeah things have been going good uh and you know let's talk about you know there's different things to talk about there's lindsay clancy there's the the black guy you're holding it down there's the there's the uh the sydney swiney thing where she had her tits all out for the betting app and all the runners and crossfit people and basketball players.

They're all women basketball players are just pretending that is a big problem. And even though, you know what I mean? Sidney's just doing a betting app and got her tits all out sitting on a basketball room. Didn't see the ad except start tits all out on the back once she was sitting on the basketball rim. I didn't see it. I don't know why people keep doing outrage because it doesn't matter. I don't know why people do outrage anymore. It doesn't matter.

Sydney Sweeney is going to do another thing. Also, it just helps. I wouldn't know dick about that betting app. And now I know there's a betting app out there that uses Sydney Sweeney. And I'm like, okay, so now maybe I'll go on that betting app. You never know. I wouldn't have, I tell you, I wouldn't have if she didn't have that's all out on the freaking basketball rim.

and also, you know, it's like, yes, I think that we need to understand that she can be an actress and also do porn at the same time, you know, and that's fine, you know. McDonald's, if you got somebody, you put the tits all out, McDonald's is in the porn business. A betting app is pretty much a step away from the porn business anyway. You know what I'm saying?

you think the people who use calci don't also spank it to red tube yonks they do if you were to cross promote if you were to cross you know do that Venn diagram with what kind of guy uses calci and what kind of guy you know cranks it to red tube X videos it would just be a circle there'd be no overlap. It'll be all overlap. There'll be no, oh, but that's the part where they, you know,

where they use Kalshi, and then this over here is the part where they do Red Tube. No, it's all one circle. So, yeah, it's just like,

you yonk it to Red Tube and you use better or whatever that. Is that the Logan Paul, Jake Paul one? I don't know. Is that even what that is?

I don't even know what anything is anymore. I'm officially just like You know somebody said Stim the other day and I go Huh? And I'm old I guess vocal stem is a thing I don't know if it comes from autism people or what

But I don't know what a vocal stem is But people are telling me that I've had some vocal stims popping off so great Perfect I will say It has been 9-11 now for 25 years years. And that's sad. Shout out to everyone who passed on 9-11. You know, not, and I don't really have much to say about that. But, you know, there's that whole thing never forget, you know, and it's like, yeah, I understand never forget.

But, dude, I forget. There's a shirt I wear sometimes that I forget my wife doesn't like it when I wear it. And I just put it on sometimes. And I don't think about it. And that's shitty. First of all, I bought the shirt. It's a shirt from a company called Diet Starts a Monday. I like the company. And it's sleeveless, you know, I got the yoinks all out.

And it's, you know, it's fine. It's like if Sidney's Sweeney can fucking sit on a basketball rim with a fucking yonks all out. And I can fucking be ripping off the sleeves on my shirt with the yonks all out. All right? So I wore it. It says midnight snack. It's got an open mouth and a tongue and a skeleton a hand.

I didn't realize when I bought this shirt. This is some old guy's shit. That it's the skeleton hand is doing the thing where they're doing the eating. You know what I mean? And I go and I show up at home and my wife's like, what the fuck are you wearing? And I was like, what? It's a new shirt I got. It's cool.

And she's like, dude, that's for conalingen. And I'm like, it is, oh my God, it is, dude. I didn't even think about that. I genuinely didn't think about it. I just go, that, I go, that shirt, please. And then I'm wearing it all around like my town where, like, I'm running into, you know, parents who have to go to the same school, the kids go to the same school, my kid's kid. And I'm just like, yeah, how you been? Oh, cool.

My shirt's just, la la la. And I'm like, and then Chris is like, you can't wear that fucking shirt. I'm like, oh, man, and she was, we were laughing. I got to wear the shirt inside out. So I do, I wear it inside out because I'm like, I still like the shirt. It doesn't look as good inside out, but I wear it inside out. And then I'm in Phoenix, and I just, I packed the shirt, and I just threw it on. It's so hot, and I didn't even think about it.

And I wore it on stage. And then I FaceTime my wife, and she's like, what the fuck are you doing that shirt? I'm like, oh, fuck. I didn't remember. I just threw it on. she's like you can't wear that shit i'm like well at least i didn't wear it in the town you know just on stage and she's like my family came to the show and i was like yeah i know i forgot so my point is there's some things you should never forget uh and one of those things you should

also never forget is just what kind of shirt you're wearing but i don't mean to you know compare that to i was like 9-11 what happened was a tragedy and it's terrible and uh But, you know, it's just weird that they harp on never forgetting about 9-11 when we will not forget 9-11. It's part of, it shaped the world, unfortunately. And I can't even remember fucking other things, too. I don't know. I'm just so tired, dude. I'm so tired, but I still, I'm still ripping it out here and that thing, you know.

I had to throw somebody out at my show in Phoenix because she kept, yep yep yep yep yep and i told her i said you gotta shut the fuck up i appreciate you a guy you gotta shut the fuck up and then the middle of my 20 minute story she piped in which means destruction of my 20 minute story and i got a sidetrack and then i threw her out and i felt bad and then she wrote me and then she said i'm so sorry please forgive me and i said it's not a big deal and i gave her a really nice message back and then she didn't and she fucking big time to me i'm like all right well it's all good too cares you know never forget but uh yeah dude what what yeah i'm there's so many it's like it's just weird how things can just permeate in the atmosphere and just never let up like

this whole sydney swiney thing uh the the the um the lindsay clancy thing look this is an awful thing the lindsay thing uh uh and i'm like people are like, yeah, but she shouldn't, she should go to jail. And I'm like, yeah. And then they go and then people say, yeah, but it was the, it was her brain. And she had a mental illness. And I say, okay. And they say, so she shouldn't go to jail.

And I say, what do you mean? And they say, well, because it's not her fault. And he's say, whose fault is it? They say, well, the doctors didn't prescribe her right. And her husband, you know, did this. And go, okay, so it's not her fault? She goes, no. Okay, so women are not capable of doing things like this.

Like, you know, they're not in the right mind when they're doing something. And you also want a female president? See you. dude you gotta either lock lindsay up and have female presidents or not lock her up and never have a female president that's it dude not explaining it now look you want to lock her up in like a mental institution okay but there's no you know people are look she's not getting off my whole thing is if you do something like this is just horrendous. You got to remove your head.

And I, if I did something like this, remove my head, I'll volunteer for it. Because it's awful. So that is just such a sad story. And, you know, a lot of, a lot of white liberal women are trying to act like it's not her fault. But you got to be responsible for your action.

So did the husband do it? No, but, you know, lock them up too, dude. Lock them all up. But I'm not a judge, nor should I be. In the great, in the great words of Brett Ernst, my friend said, only God could judge you. He's an idiot. No.

A judge can judge you. Brett Ernst is hilarious. So anyway, been eating real good. And I'll tell you what. Had some good coffee in Phoenix. Phoenix is, I like Phoenix. It does get too hot, but it's dry. First day I got there, I go, no.

It's too hot. And then I went to, I did a show at Stand Up Live on Saturday. I did two shows Stand Up Live Saturday. One on Friday, one on Saturday. and then two on Tempe improv on Sunday. I did one on Saturday because they already booked the early show, this podcast. And I don't know what podcast it was, but it was a podcast, like a liberal-leaning podcast. And oh, my God, the people walking out were hilarious.

It was like everybody you thought that would have came out of a liberal. I mean, just like purple hair, are you a man, are you a woman? Day, day, they, you know, it was unbelievable. but shout out to Phoenix first you know you think of Phoenix as like a or Arizona as like a state that kind of isn't so liberal or at least Phoenix shout out to them they came out to the that whatever that show was um I was thinking about I was going to get in and out tonight actually because I woke up and I been I'm like dude I'm just kind of in a hankering for it you know I was on the plane on Southwest

and the lady hands me a napkin the stewardess hands me a napkin she goes I was here you go. And I took the napkin and it said, it said such a big fan. Would it be okay to take a picture? But it was not. It was obviously not from the stewardess. She was obviously handing it off to me for someone.

Now she leaves. And I'm holding this napkin. And I'm like, well, who the fuck wants a goddamn picture? So she walks back. And I say, hey, I'll take a picture with whoever. She said, cool. And she kept walking. And I go, I still don't know the fuck to take the picture.

So I get off the plane as we deplane. And I'm like, hey, I'd like to redeem that picture with this napkin. Like who, you know? She's like, oh, yeah, it's her. Another stewardess. Do we say that anymore? Flight attendant. And she's like, I'm a big fan.

I'd love to take a picture with you. I go, hell. Hell yeah, let's do it. And we did it. And it was just a roundabout way of asking for a picture, you know, but that's fine. I get it. Let's look at this Macklemore thing. He kicked off Ed Sheer's tour with pro-Palestine remarks.

I think when artists, look, musicians are one thing. So that's fine. Look, if you're going to be you two and win an award and then go on stage and be like, I think there's Travis, he's in the world, whatever the fuck they're from. fine but when you're macklemore it's hilarious

he goes he did pro-Palestine remarks and uh they got all and then look what he said after this I'm not sure how to start this

so I'm going to speak from the heart and share the truth ed Sheeran and his team have made the decision to remove me from the loop tour so fucking stupid sounding dude the loop tour I wish

was called something even like crazy or so would be like but before i get into it i want to say something that should be obvious in this uh in this moment i think it matters i am not a victim ed sheeran is not a victim pink is not a victim pink we have careers money opportunities safety and audiences around the world whatever consequences any of us face for what we say we get to go home to our families the victims are the pelicans are the pelicans are the Palestinian people. All this guy's doubling down. He's fucking doubling down.

He's going like this. He's going like this. When I was in 10th grade, I thought I was gay. And then he goes, but also, when it was the 4th grade, I thought that I was gay. What's that song? When I was in the 4th grade, I thought that I was gay. Free Palestine.

Erre, eri, erie. The victims are Palestinian people. The men, the women, the children who have been killed, starved, displaced, and forth. To live through unimaginable violence, more than 20,000 children been killed in guys alone jesus okay killed people are being killed we don't lose sight of that he's saying difficult conversations truth about what happened uh if macklemore stanza never so here's what happened

ed also told me that craft had rallied some of the other stadium owners and collectively they gave him an ultimate maclemore says in the tour you will not be allowed to play around craft cheese is that what that is oh robber craft got it uh it's just crazy dude it's it this is so crazy all of it taking aside it cost you money brand deals sponsorship festivals private shows relationships and access i've lost all those things wow look at this but there's no neutral position between the oppressor and the oppressed oh i don't know the truth in any of this situation not fucked up yeah well he's a bit on his he's a bit on his Tupac shit though, huh?

Hmm. Yeah. Wow. I don't know what he's saying after this. I didn't read it. I don't really know the situation, even though I, you know, I just as an entertainer, as

a fucking thing, as a guy who just wants to make people laugh, I don't want to fucking talk about I don't know about this. I don't want to talk about it. I just want to talk about fucking stuff to make you laugh. I hate how everybody has to have an opinion. I don't even care what your fucking opinion is. Isn't that the problem here?

Too many goddamn opinions that just, you know, it's like, what about the woman who shit herself at High Rock? She's got an opinion too. She's going to post something soon. You know? She's going to post something soon about something. She can post something about shitting and about how, you know, being a female athlete and then people are going to be like, what the fuck? And then she's going to get a little bit of fame, you know, infamy or fame. And then the, then there's next atrocity that happened, she's going to chime in. The pants shitter. I fucking high rocks.

She did fucking spread duke over both of her legs in the back. She did a fucking spread hind dukeye. Hind spread dukey and kept running. And then look, dude, this woman shit herself from doing pushups and running and ball, wall, balls. And the things I see. see online about how I swear to God I saw a lady say another example of white privilege oh man hey dude when it comes to shitting yourself let's leave race out of it uh as a matter of fact

if you shit yourself leave the race okay uh because it has nothing to do with race or racing if you shit yourself white black Asian Indian Exit the race, okay? Exit the Hirox race and exit the race debate. You shit yourself. You did a hind spread shit across the back of your legs. You did a hamstring, hamstring adjacent located dokey. I mean, come on.

Who's talking about white privilege? who's talking about, there it goes. I heard someone say, if it was a black person that shit himself, first of all, you wouldn't have known it happened. Against that white alabaster skin, it's very obvious. Okay?

Stunk like shit. Man, if I'm running in a high rocks race and someone shits their pants, I just keep running to the door and leave. Oh, oh, you won. Oh, she won. no are you going to disqualvar don't do that everyone else quits she wins dude if you shit your pants in a high rocks race you won there's no there's no there's no there's no second third fourth

you get all the medals and you get invited to all of the other ones and you're now a high rock spokesperson. I'm surprised it took this long for someone who shit themselves. Usually people shitting themselves at running, you know, and everyone's saying, because it's an inside event, it's unsanitary. Dude, roof or not, get me away from shit. Imagine trying to catch her draft. Oh my God. Oh my God. A root beer shit. A hind-legged root beer shit. God, she wins. Let's go on the flight home. Are you the lady that shit her pants? Free Palestine.

Never forget. So I'm just like, you know, I'm 46. And I think about that sometimes because I'm like, you know, I got tattoos. I did wear a shirt that looks like it was a little much, you know. I don't, you know, I have that. I have that. I don't give a fuck attitude. even though i do i i do give a fuck i i i care very deeply about things um but i go i'm like

how long do i rock that for but then i'm like i think that's just kind of i'm aloof i think people mistake my aloofness for like uh well i can't say i'm actually connected my disconnection i mean i guess i am a little bit disconnected dude shit man uh uh uh But yeah, it's good to come home and see the kids. Billy was in a fucking sleeveless shirt, too, so that ripped. I guess Wolverine's gay is what they're saying. They posted a thing where one of the developers was like, yeah, Wolverine and Sabretooth yearn for each other, and they love each other.

And the guy was like, no, no, no, no. Everyone took that out of context, I guess. I don't know. I didn't read them. stupid article about what the video game Wolverine is like. Because I'm not gonna. I'm not even gonna play the game and I want to. But read an article about the stupid game Wolverine.

Maybe it'll be good. I don't know. The Batman one's cool. But yeah, Wolverine, they're saying, they're like, what? You made Wolverine gay? Because he's yearning for... And I'm like, and then whatever video game, insomnia or whatever the video game company made it, they were like, this is not what was intended. Wolverine is not gay in the upcoming.

And it's like, yeah, dude, it actually sucks that they even had to respond to it. Look, if there's a secret agenda by insomnia or I don't even know, is it insomnia that made the video game, right? and if they somehow backdoored it, no pun intended, into Marvel with kind of, you know, ambiguous writing, because some gay, bad gay actor, not that they're all, you know, gay actors are bad, but this one would have been done in bad faith. Whereas I go, I'm going to make Wolverine not only gay, but incestuous, because Sabretooth is his long-lost brother, right? the fact that the video game company even had to comment on it

because these loser dudes are like I can't believe they made a boycott it cancel the thing before they even understood dude you know you can yearn for a fucking pie you could yearn to see your mom again you can yearn for lots of things and love forget it people love football it doesn't mean they suck and fuck football and so it's like everyone is misunderstanding each other intentionally to push their

narrative whatever it is and whenever a video game company or anybody responds to that they lose. They lose. They lose. Now, if there's a bad faith actor in the camp, if they hired someone because of DEI and wokeness, they lose. They're going to lose.

But then when this happens and they cave and make a statement, they lose. Okay? The correct statement from it, whatever video is insomnia? insomniac is oh so you think wolverine's gay fuck you here's the link for pre-order eat my shit oh and i'm telling you dude if you did that there's no there's do not do not do not do not make a fucking statement because of some losers.

I hate that shit. Oh, man, but they're fucking trying to put the gay agenda. You know what, dude? If you find proof that that's what they did, then okay. But bro, I just like, Wolverine's not gay.

And he's not gay because he's not gay. Not because he's, he can't be gay. He's just not. Yeah, he's not real. But you know, you know, know, in no storylines is Wolverine Gay, unless it was made by, you know, Twink magazine and they just

fucking bought a mask. But that's not Marvel sanctioned. Uh, so yeah, let's just assume that people are doing their fucking, doing the right, their best, especially a video game company. Like, who fucking cares? It's not the politicians. And I, and I think that the way they push gay narrative is annoying anyway. But I don't think that's it. You know, it's just like every HBO show you got to fucking, there's somebody who's like, look, if you're going to make a show and there's a trans person and it's about that and okay and it works with the story, yeah, good, that's great. Like I saw the TV glow, whatever the fuck that movie was, had a trans allegory and it was fucking

awesome. And honestly, if that's what the Matrix was about, where the Wachowski brothers turned to the Wachowski sisters and it was all about who you really are and this underlying truth about everything and who they want you to be and who they if that's what the matrix was actually about then it's still one of my favorite movies because that makes sense to me right but when they try to shoehorn a guy with a you know or a or a or a they in there where it's like just just fucking god damn it everything doesn't need to be a McDonald's commercial um but yeah i don't you know what the fuck do i know maybe wolverine is and you know it's like i'll tell you what's ever too definitely gay well the

the thing is you don't you don't have two brothers that dress like that and one of them not be gay right you don't have two brothers that dress like that with that facial hair and have not one of them gay right they're that fit one of them's gay they're in that much spandex one of them's gay they call each other bub one of them's gay one's five two the other's seven eight one of them's gay it's just there's no world where saber tooth or Wolverine isn't gay. Now, that being said, I don't think the secret weapon X, whatever the fuck thing they did to Wolverine when he was in the water with all those tentacles connected to him was try to fucking, you know, basically Marvel's version of gay camp.

I don't think they were trying to fucking straighten him out. That would be amazing, though. If that's the stuff that Wolverine couldn't remember. Wait a minute. Bob, what was I doing during that time? I had no idea what I was doing. Oh, the flashbacks go back. Oh, no.

Sninked. What is it? Oh, my gosh. Oh, man, what's that noise? Zink. Uh, anyway, leather jacket, brown leather. jacket, one he is

is gay. Fur around a neck on on a brown leather jacket one of yez is gay. So Sabretooth you know? I didn't even like when I found out

Sabretooth was a dinosaur. Sabreto tiger was like a prehistoric tiger. I don't even believe in that. Sabreto tiger. Remember the fucking Power Rangers? The Asian one was yellow. How fucking crazy were times.

And they're just still as crazy, just in a different way. The pink one was with a girl. It wouldn't happen now. And then they go to the Tyrannosaurus. Mastodon. And then the Asian one. Sabatutu Taiga in the yellow. Like, come on, dude.

I don't know. I don't know anymore. I don't know what's anymore. but um yeah do what intro oh yeah you find you want to find it can we play it youtube let's play the power rangers that's how i remember it maybe i'm just remembering it with a racist film on it what's the um power rangers rangers well misspelled it power come on dude oh my god dude i just misspelled power four times and rangers jesus man intro intro here we go well i misspelled intro bro i misspelled every fucking word here we go absolutely fucking ripping that guitar shit i mean

that's crazy that's you put that up put that up there honestly with um welcome to the jungle Bring on everything. You kidding me, dude? Ladies and gentlemen, fucking Sebastian Bach. Busted. The evil Rita busted, dude. Rita. Pick a fucking, pick more of a bad person name.

Rita, dude. Like she works at fucking Baja Fresh. Your order is ready. Dude, the first line, bro. Eh? Sih. Exposition. The first line.

Ah! Sack! Exposition. Oh, dude. The first story. Why? Are you kidding me? Bro, if I'm, you know, frozen or whatever for 10,000 years.

And I wake up. This is the biggest bullshit, dude. And I wake up. And I think. I think, hey, first of all, you know, there's just, there's no, there's no, oh, there's no none of that. It's just, ding, you sit up like Michael Myers and 10,000 years. First of all, how the fuck, do you know how long it is? You were asleep, bitch.

Don't mean to say it like that, but it's jokes, you know. You're equal to the power, right? You're even mighty or something, you know, they need all of them to get it to beat you. you know power to women but uh after 10,000 years time to conquer earth are you kidding me dude if I wake up after 10,000 years when I wake up dude where is everybody? Where's all of my friends? They're dead right or did they get frozen too? They're all dead great.

Do they have any relatives? We're really going to have to do a fucking 23 in me here. Did you get any of my friends saliva back then? Do I still have my job at Baja fresh? Okay. Then maybe. Time to conquer Earth. Now, if that's how it began, 10,000 frozen years now.

Oh, do I still have my Baja fresh job? Is everyone dead? They are? Did you get 23 and me? Did you get saliva from my... Okay, well, time to conquer Earth! And then, dude. Are you kidding me if that was the thing?

Power Rangers? I would have so many Power Rangers tattoos. I would be a Power Ranger. It would be my life. Okay, so... I'm to conquer Earth. There's a stock-ass fucking voice. It's a stock-ass fucking no imagination.

No imagination with the fucking bodyless reflector head, dude. No imagination, bro. Fucking sub on. Fucking no imagination, dude, with the reverb doubling the voice. No fucking imagination. and the fucking headless light beam, dude, fuck this shit. Think harder. Recruit a team of teenagers with attitudes.

Recruit a team of teenagers with attitudes, dude. It's time to not do our homework. It's time to come home 20 minutes after curfew. Worst belts Jingle If I ever heard one A jingle, dude The white guy definitely

This guy definitely killed somebody, right? Then this next guy Oh, here's the other one, the lady. She's for sure looks exactly the same right now As she did in this toy train And makes upwards of $900,000 a year doing conventions just I'm going to tell you right now here

this dude right here I'll tell you right now looks fantastic Walter Jones the black one he looks also fantastic okay he's the only one that that keeps in touch with

with the other one okay with the Asian one he also has some sort of autoimmune disease I'm just going down the list I'm telling you what these guys just based on what they are look like this is what they are

probably like now. Where are they now? He's got like some weird, I'm not telling you right now. This woman, three kids and like a really nice house and is super submissive to her husband. This guy,

oh, he is, well, he's grown up. This guy has a lot of money because he hasn't spent that anyone because he's gay. And then the White Ranger is for sure off themselves. This guy, both of these guys, Paul Schreier and Jason Narvey, the dork guys, have investments in tech companies and are like, one of them is killing it.

David Fielding, the floating head, shot for five days. They shot everything for five days and then just voiceover to shit. So he's poor. This is Voltron. How do they do this and then also Voltron? Go, go, go, go, Voltron. Intra song.

I remember Voltron was kind of the shit, though. remember hank let's see go go go go go voltron what if that's what it was dude so that power ranger one was fucking bullshit it was stock footage uh uh so unimaginative uh S Beat to death Ah S From charted regions

I like how they just would say it's a legend They just started it And they're like this is a legend How can you start something a legend What Doesn't it have to be around for a while Always defending the universe bro. You know, just so fucking, why? What was with the mighty robots?

Love. Okay. As Voltron's legend grew, peace settled across the galaxy. On planet Earth, a galaxy alliance was formed. Together with the good planets of the solar system, they maintain peace throughout the universe. I mean, well, okay, this intro is way more explaining it's fine, but it's like, why don't they just make this part of the show, dude? You know, let's explain 9,000 years before the show. And it's like that movie driven with Sylvester Stallone, where it's like they do nine races in 10 minutes, and then the movie starts.

He's just like, yo, I just, last two years are crazy. Galaxy was needed once more. This is honestly like, you know, and people are like, no, chat GPT's on original. the fuck is this shit. Chad GPD make the shit out of this. Right now? This is the story

of the super force of space explorers. I mean super force of space explore. You tell me, Chad GPD can't do that in fucking nine seconds. But whatever, it is what it is. I don't know if I'm for AI or not, but it'll destroy us all.

I don't know if, oh, wait, that's the guy who did the voice of, Transformer, what's the Optimus Prime? Didn't that guy just die? Yeah. My friend fucking texted me a picture of him the other day and he goes, when that guy died and they go, I guess it does come in threes. And I'm like, who are the other two?

And also, what's he? The fuck he can't just pick three guys that died? People dying all the time. I guess it does come in threes. Go, go comes in three. He's. Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-go-go comes in three. I don't give a fuck

Go, go comes in three He's Peter Cullen and fucking Dolly Parton and someone else Bram! Uh, what? Oh, did he die? Oh shit.

Oh, he did? Oh, Dolly part. He can't follow Dolly Parton. Tim Curry died after Dolly Parton. Damn. Go, go comes in three. He's. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

And go go comes in three he's. Then and go go comes in three. What's his name? Peter, Peter Cullen, Dolly Parton, and Tim Curry, Brown. Man, I can't believe we've lost fucking Dolly Parton, Tim Curry, and Peter Cullen. The Chris Hanson movie's coming out. And is he happy about it, Chris Hansen?

I feel like Chris Hansen is probably just like. like watching he's probably just like i know that you were kind of pissed about the way you were portraying a story we see how this locks what could have been better i don't get mad at about anything was seething was seething on the 12th floor of whatever building he just walked out of fucking 12 minutes ago that he had those white things on the side of his mouth and he was just going and old episodes of whatever show he did before the the Dateline show was

was playing because he was harking back to the days where none of this was anything and then walked out and got hit with that question and flipped it on him dude It's a movie, it's a piece of fiction So doesn't want anyone to think any of it actually Just just I was involved in it so Ha!

Dude. Witted to play the part. I'll tell you right now, 100% wanted to play the part. Wow, I got the de-aging, right? You could do that. They did that with the Nero and the Irish, man. It looked like shit.

So I'm not going to be doing any kicking. I'll just walk around. It'll be fine. You're not going to let me do it. You're not going to let me do it. We see how this looks. Oh, what the fuck? I should be at least the executive producer.

I came up with the whole thing. You're not going to let me do it. You see how this looks, don't you? I'll wait until I see the movie. Smashed it. Well, why do you think you weren't involved? Well, I think they wanted to make a fictional movie. Something that was very dramatic.

They didn't concern themselves with the real story, which is pretty dramatic as it is. Dude, he had to fight himself from saying, then why don't they just make the fucking Lord of the Ring? right here. He was, he fought his imagination within himself when they, after the fiction. Concern themselves. Right. The real story, which is pretty dramatic as it is, you know, doing this investigation.

He goes like this. Concern themselves. Wait, hold on. Goes like right here. Well, I think they wanted to make a fictional movie. Oh, why don't they just make the fucking Game of Thrones or whatever? He had to force him. He thought he said it.

He thought he actually said it out loud and was outside, he was outside of his body when he was saying this part. Something that was very dramatic. They didn't concern themselves with the real story, which is pretty dramatic as it is. That's when he snapped back in. Which we continue to do on my streaming network to work. And so they didn't reach out to. Dude.

Pretty much the film was. Eh, so ambiance of New York, you know? There's no other city or place in the U.S. universe in the galaxy where you don't hear this going on in the background we continue to do on my streaming network too weird and so they didn't apple dude when you hear that boop that one you know what i mean that fuck what cop car's that dude you go wee we we we we and then that one there says fuck that one what's that one what's that one that's the police siren has indigestion

they got all the fucking even that one and then what the fuck is the what the fuck is that one you hear it always from too far you're never next to the you're never next to it because where's it from

it's the fucking cop who has indigestion inside sitting on inside the car sitting on the microphone excuse me sorry tackle belt. Sorry, had raised pizza.

Pretty much the film was done. So you're going to watch it, I guess. We're going to watch it. Just so, matter of fact, seething. We're going to watch it. I'll tell you that much. We're going to watch it. Okay.

And I'll decide from there. So then maybe you'll come back around. Maybe things will be different. Well, I think, look, here's what I thought. Almost fainted right there. I think that they created a. film with no interest in the real people who are involved in the story. Doesn't this dude?

I mean, yeah, dude. That's what they did. That's what they did. Anybody who goes to see a movie that's based on a true story and goes, man, that's crazy that that really happened, is a fucking asshole. Okay? I think because of the way they did it, you know, it's an insult to the thought. Felt.

Okay, right there was the moment he felt so much catharsis. More catharsis than he has felt, felt since he heard about the movie. Right there. And I think because of the way they did it, you know, it's an insult to the thousands of men and women who spend their days protecting children's repetitive. What they want is a dark, dramatic film. There's a lot of conflict immediate. But wait, if he hasn't seen it, how could he be saying this?

We don't know what it's like. That's so crazy. He just pissed off he's not involved. And I wanted to play the part. They're going to deage me. Do the same stuff they did Robert De Niro and the Irishman, but I wasn't going to do any kicking. So you wouldn't be able to tell. I see how it looks. What we do every day in True Blue,

and everywhere else where I produce contact. God, you know, be funny if you got into a fucking McLaren after this. Stories that help protect. Then he gets pulled over. So that's what I'm about it. And I'm busy being the real Chris Hanson. Oh, dude. I'm busy being the real Chris Hansen is unreal, bro.

I'm busy being the real Chris Hansen. Anyway, I'm going to pop up into this cuckaroo right now. Anyway, number three, please. Yeah, extra sauce. Fucking New York. It's an insult. This is fried. It's an insult.

Robert Patton, it's great actor. Last, that's last. Yes, ma'am. Should people have been? more rights to how their likeness is used. I mean, at this point, it's not the first time we've heard. I don't like the way you guys betray me. We just had, oh my gosh, I got the guy's name.

I got him last week. He hated the way Netflix did his new movie with the gold change in the 80s of the guy. Just has no idea what the fuck she's even talking about. The guy who made the movie with the Netflix thing, I think, maybe. Anyway, but so should there be some kind of protection against your likeness? I think there should be a common courtesy. all this guy's

this is all this is just this is not how life works pre post post you know Twitter this is just not how it works I should be con courtesy yeah no shit dude I agree

I agree a movie where you use somebody's name image and like I think that's reasonable to ask and that's how we do Mr. T that's it

thank you very much child sir thank you so much bye bye thank you for your time she just said she just got it Mr. T. Wow. Worst interview, I'm. Boop.

Oh, dude. I just, you know. Well, dude. Congratulations. Episode 527 or something. I'm going to do so many tour dates. Go to Chris Lea.com. Come to Europe.

I got a Superman curl in front of that. Look at that. Pretty cool. I appreciate you guys. Thank you. Go, go, go, fuck your child.