Congratulations with Chris D'Elia - 531. There Was Always Me

Episode Date: October 1, 2026

This week Chris is back from Georgia and saw a bunch of movies, he hates the Apple store and Rob Lowe confirms what we all knew. The 80s and 90s were awesome. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Runk. Welcome to a new episode of congratulations. Hey guys, it is Octoby-Wobie, and finally, you know, I've been waiting for October. I actually have been, I like October now because I like, it was very hot this summer and that's fine. And now it's cooling off. And it's really, it's that perfect, you know, cram. de la creme weather just that we're in a pocket right there like i got to go to buffalo this week buffalo new york i've only been to buffalo during horse shit times right like when it's when when you

when you are up to your neck in snow or up to your uh waste in snow and it's going to be nice so i'm i'm I'm going to go, you know, be 60, something degrees, probably, I don't know, there's going to be a heat waiver, maybe there's going to be a cold breeze, whatever it is. It's going to be good, dude. And so I'm excited, you know, I mean, look, you're going to be Buffalo. I don't know. I'm not part of the Bill's Mafia. I'm not crazy excited about being, you know, in, in, in, in, in necessarily in Buffalo. But I'm going to have a good time, dude.

And, you know, because I was in Atlanta this past weekend and Birmingham, Alabama, I did a show there. And it was nice. The weather, we're just. what I'm saying is we're in the pocket, dude. And then I go to Paris. And then there's a bunch of different European shows. This month is going to be a tough month for me. I have to travel a lot.

I have to be back and forth a lot. I have to do a lot of podcasting, banking episodes. And I'm really feeling it. But like it's all good because like i don't know how people do it when they're uh when they're when they don't have their people you know some people i guess i guess that's what happens when you you know if you're you're you're lonely and then you go into the basement and you just find your people online and then you start you know that's how you create the manosphere i guess and that you know no knock on on men i love

men i love i love men like not even in a you know i just love them i think they're great i think they do great things and stuff i think they get a bad rap for sure sure um you know but the manosphere is crazy like i went to uh when i was in miami it's just like everyone's my i overheard somebody at the gym talking to another woman cold walking up this guy was five nine scrawny kind of like a i think it was asian and i overreasing and i heard him, I guess, hitting on a woman. And he said, how old are you? And she said whatever her age was.

I don't know how old she was. 30s maybe. And he said, oh, wow. Really? You're young maxing. And I'm just like, that's, that's what's, that's what's going on now, dude. That's the fucking,

the micro to the macro problem. is that you think of five, you know, look, and shoot your shot, this guy had no shot, shoot your shot, right? But also understand that you're shooting your shot. And this is, all right, well, here we go. Let's see what happens. You don't. We've created this, you know, society where it's like,

you can, you, you deserve everything. you can do anything and you can't dude you know you can't if you're 5-9 and scrawny you know you know the guy was good at sprinting he was sprinting in the in the in the in the in the in the in the gym dude be a sprinter you know uh uh sprint around and and and and and meet another woman that also is kind of sprinting and then fall in love and settle. You know what I'm saying? People are forgetting that settling down is settling, right? You're not winning.

You don't go, oh, fuck yeah, I got everything I ever wanted because you can't. And that's my problem with the Manosphere, actually. It's not the Manusphere. It's the social media of it. It's the curated, look at everything's great and showing the great part of the lives. But then it's like you got people also that are like posting reels of them crying. And they're like, not everything's going to go your way. And it's like, here's what I think.

If you're going to post a reel and you're going to be crying in it, okay, you better start the real not crying. okay and then if you happen to cry then you go shit i kind of cried in that real all right you know what it was a moment it was real i'm not going to redo it it was pure emotion fuck it i'm going to post it if you start crying and then go got to film this you uh you got to chill, dude. You got to take a step back. Now, I didn't mean to start the podcast like this, you know, to be honest, I wanted to talk about something else completely, and I'll get to that. But it's just kind of where it went. I think you can't have it all. You're lucky to settle. And don't be in the manosphere. But also, I love men. And I'm not going to, you know, I'm not going to

candy coat that. I'm not, sorry, I'm not going to, I'm not going to kid gloves it. I'm not going to say, oh yeah, but you know, because people are fucking, there's so much shit. I just, I mean, my headspace is just crazy because there's so much shit being said about everybody. There's no nuance. Oh, fuck. He's in a mood. And I, I tried to get out of it, dude, but I just flew in from fucking Atlanta and I can't even stay awake. But what I do love is I got home. this is exactly how I feel I got home and I said

hey Calvin first of all I was really excited to see the boys I said we're gonna go run put on your shorts put on your your shoes the other shoes not those ones and we're gonna go do a little walk kind of run thing

I'm gonna show you what to do I was like really I said yeah he said okay so I went to go do it I took him down the street to where there is a trail and we i took these five pound weights that i have five pounds each that i would put in my um weighted vest and i went to the trail and i said hey um come with me and and bring these five pound weights and he was like whoa okay and he starts walking up the hill and i'm like um you good with that and he It was like, yeah, it was just kind of heavy.

He dropped one. I said, come up, figure out a way to get them up. We get up. I said, put him down right there. And he put them down there. And I said, okay, so let's walk back down. So we walked back down. And, you know, we got to the bottom.

And I said, what we're going to do is we're going to run as hard as we can up to those weights 10 times. And then we're going to walk back down each time. And he said, 10 times? Okay. I said, yeah. I was like, but there's all these rocks in the way. And I was like, we're going to do it though. He said, okay.

So the first run, we went, it was fine. It was all smiles. He was laughing. He was going to, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. You know, it was really cute. And then we got up there, we started walking back down. As we walked back down, he fell. Okay.

And he had like one of those little white scrape on his shins, not in no blood or anything. And he starts, you know, getting really upset. It's like, oh, no, is it going to bleed? I'm like, dude, it's not going to bleed. Don't worry about it. You got this. Come on. Stand up.

He's like, I don't know. I said, you can do it. So he stood up. We walked all the way back down. And then I said, that's one. Let's go. Two, and we start running. We run all the way up.

He gets up. He's got, you know, get to the top. And I say, that's two. And then we start walking down. And he falls even harder. He falls now. the second time. It's really,

really, it's precarious. Like I've kind of, I've done it before and I've slipped. And, um, this time there is blood. Like he's got a whole new thing.

And I'm like, oh, fuck, you know, what does I get myself into, dude? Like, should I've started on flat grass?

I'm like, no, dude. He says immediately, can we go home now? And I said, okay, bud, look,

I know this now is, hard this sucks and you hurt yourself but this is just exactly what's going to happen in life and you have to do 10 of these and he was like 10 how many would we have left i said i think we had seven he was like i can't do it and i said yes you can yes you can and you know what i can i can i can i'm going to do it with you and we are going to get through this okay i said take a breath he took a breath And then I said, all right, let's go. And with tears in his eyes, he started running up.

And we did three, walk back down. Four, walk back down. Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. And we did it. And afterwards, he was all smiles. And I was like, listen, man, I knew you could do it. I think you knew you could do it. And you wanted to quit.

But you got to get through stuff like this. that's what makes you a man is what I said and you know if you're a little girl I guess that's what makes you a woman I you know I'm not I'm not trying to be like a gender thing here but like I was like you have to get through these moments and it's uncomfortable but you'll get through it right and he said yeah and he totally got it like you know and then I said all right now take these five pound weights and walk them all the way down to the car and you walk him over the car he dropped him about 55 times but he did that too you know and um that's been on my mind because i've been wanting to do something like that with him it was so it was so you know because like dude it's like i don't i don't i'm not

going to be one of these guys that's like you know a fucking a a a a dad that's like oh yeah the you know uh this strict fucking don't you fuck up dad and i know there's dads like that and there's different ways to raise your kids but dude it just feels felt so right. And dude, the fucking craziest thing about it was, I was like, do you, do realize how much when you have kids, you're talking to yourself, bro? It's disgusting, dude, how much you're talking to yourself. It's so fucked. You're talking to your kid and you're like, motherfucker, why am I, why am, will somebody please tell me this? But the words are coming out of your mouth.

And you go, you know, my kid thought that running up and down this fucking hill was this rocky precarious hill was the end of the end of the world. It's not, dude. I know that. What you're going through in your life right now, you think it's the end of the world. It's not. Now, granted, data centers are getting crazy and there's flock cameras and the end of the world is coming.

but within your own internal you know with your family and your people you're going to get through it you know and that's all that's all it's so stressful right but god just i don't know i didn't even mean to start it like that what i wanted to you know what i wanted to start out the show was i went to the fucking apple store and i tried to get a fucking cord and there's too many cords dude and and and you go and they all have different things that connect with other things and then they get the the male one with the female one and then the this fucking one that goes into the phone and the computer but if you don't have this phone you got an older phone then you got to get the other one that's like the the little penis that you stick in and then and then I have a chip reader for for my merch that I don't I don't I don't I I got to use like an Android plug for. And so I go into the iPhone store and I go, I know which one I want. I need that one.

And I go and I pick it up and I grab it and I give it to the lady. And the lady says, well, actually, this is the other thing with the Apple store. Dude, if you can they just have a fucking counter, dude? Can they just have a, with their innovative shit? Like keep their innovative shit to the phones and the computers. When I go into a store, I don't want to be walking around with like a, a, a, a, a, charger and a phone case that I want to pay for. Like,

uh, where's, do, who do I give this to, to, to buy? Do, do, there's no counter. And,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, I don't want to have to fucking, uh,

get an, I don't want to have to hail a, an employee. Like, they're a goddamn taxi cab. Cause they're either congregated together and you feel like a bitch walking up to him like, excuse me,

can I buy this? And then like, are you sure that's the one you want? and you're like, yeah, dude, I don't know. Or they're all busy because they're always in the middle of fucking goddamn, what do you call it? Outdoor kind of pavilions and shit. It's just, there's too many. There's too many employees and they're all, they should all just be behind the counter, dude.

But there is no counter. Do they even still do the genius bar anymore? Is that a thing? they do where is it and i gotta go to fucking i gotta go to apple store i got to see ted lasso fucking everywhere you know um but anyway i out in a yeah in a mood um i was in uh i was in birmingham and uh i go to to to check in my hotel and then the next day to go to alpharetta to be more specific it's close to itlanta but it's like the aladdin area alpharetta sounds like a fucking peptide by the way i don't know how i got that name or what but

yeah i'm on alpharetta dude what's it do uh it just kind of makes me be a little bit fucking it makes me want eat a lot of fried stuff um it keeps out keep you know the food you know food yeah well it it enhances it when it comes to fried food um it enhances my food noise my fried food noise um and uh and uh i was in birmingham and i go all right i'm going to stay the night in birmingham and drive to atlanta i got right to the car bro it's awesome it's like on the road again on the road again i feel literally like some guy in a book you know in my rav four which kind of came up dude i got to admit i used to a date a woman when i was 21 with rav four and I feel like,

this is the worst car I've ever seen in my life. It's too bubbly, but they're kind of fucking came up. And, um, so I went to, uh, uh,

what do you call it? Uh, Birmingham and I go, oh, oh, oh shit. Oh, I'm not staying here tonight.

So I'm going to just drive through the night and go to Atlanta because a depression. Dude, when you're alone on the road, I don't even know what this fucking podcast is anymore. If you're alone on the road, like, what fucking ice road truck

or regular truckers, like, if I had to be a trucker and move cargo across the country, I just don't know how they do it, dude, to drive across the country. And then I'm like, dude, that's kind of what I do anyway, you know. I mean, I guess I don't do it for like long sports at a time. But can I be honest with you guys, dude? Like, I'm going to Europe. I'm going to do Paris. I'm going to do Storzelin, which I think they fucking made that place up in the past,

since my last European tour, Oslo, and I'm doing Copenhagen, I'm doing Belgium and, no, not Belgium, I'm doing Berlin, I'm doing Vienna. And like, I'm going to be gone for a while. And I just like, I do what I love. I love my job. I love what I do. And the shows are always so fun. I love doing the shows.

I'm just like, dude. I don't want to be burnt out, man. I want to not, I don't want to, I don't want to, I don't want to have to go, if I'm honest, you know, because I, I sometimes feel like I'm missing shit. I mean, I want, I know my kids, they need to know that their dad works hard and they certainly understand that. Or, you know, I mean, Billy doesn't, he's thinking about fucking the new, the Sasquatch cartoon that he's trying to.

every day he wakes up. He tries to dress like the Sasquatch. And today he was the golf Sasquatch. And he was running around with a fucking polo shirt and pants and a golf ball. And that's way better than when he's just regular nature Sasquatch. Because when he's nature Sasquatch, he just has a shirt on and no diaper, no underwear. And we'll be like, we got to go. And he was like, I don't want to wear any pants.

I'm Sasquatch. And I'm like, all right. well first of all saskatch doesn't exist and second of all you got to wear pants you're three but and what i'm saying is um you know they know that i work hard but i like ever since like six years ago when my job has been on the road because that's going to be my bread and butter which it always was uh but i would supplement the income with doing stuff like um you know tv and TV and movies and that's just not there anymore. And that's fine.

It is what it is. And I'm not complaining. I just like think about it sometimes. And I'm like, fuck, man. I wish that I could just be home for a chunk of goddamn time, man. I don't want to be a downer, you know. And then I talked to you guys too. Like, you know, people in Alpharetta came up and they're like, dude, please never stop

the podcast. And I'm like, okay. But it's not always going to be good. dude it's been 531 episodes and it's like i don't know what to talk about anymore pick a subject i've already talked about it pick collect a guy who collected cameras i've talked about how annoying it is about a guy who collected old cameras i've talked about that on an episode before and that's just something i thought of because i'm looking into a camera right now and the reason why i even thought about a guy collecting old cameras is because the guy from felicity

was in People magazine when Felicity was fucking one of the biggest shows on TV. And he was doing an interview and he was talking about like how he's just a regular guy that liked to collect old cameras. And that's when I was like, dude, fuck this guy. Talking to people about how he liked to collect old cameras. Like it was all gross. You know? And so I'm just too judgmental and I'm just too. You know, in my own head.

And being on the road doesn't help, dude. Oh, my God. I was in a car. No, not a coffee place. No, no, no. I was outside, dude. And walking through this, like, nicer area in Alpharetta. And they had speakers in the trees.

And it was playing like fucking train. You know? Or something. like that. What's it matter? I sat down a monta, monta, one of those songs. And or a James Blunt song or some song that some

you know, white guy with an army green button down and a long red fucking Henley shirt under it would sing. And it's just like blasting out of the fucking speaker in the tree while I'm standing next to goddamn a Vuri store across from an aloe store.

I'm like, both of these stores are the same goddamn store. What am I doing standing outside? I got to hear James Blunt. And I don't know how I don't hate James Blunt. But like, I got to fucking hear him outside. It's one thing if I got to go to a coffee shop and okay, I got to hear who's the guy who played is the guitar with his shoes off, Jack Johnson. But like, now I'm outside, you're putting speakers in trees and shit.

And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and that's just the world we live in, dude, there's no way I am going to be free of a world where, where there's not going to be speakers in trees playing a singer's songwriter. and I'm standing outside of a fucking sushi place and a J-Crew. It's just not going to happen. That's the timeline I live in. And, you know, it's just an interesting thing, dude. It's an interesting thing.

You know, it's an interesting time capsule, the timeline that we're in. You know, because then you're all connected and you scroll online and you look at what's on your feet and you go, oh, that guy, oh okay that guy you know you see something on the thing what was his name gonna gonna shoot what was the guy's name but i sent you to think i'm gonna shoot your bitch in the face or o g gonna shoot a bitch or whatever remember that whatever it was his name was like oh his nickname was oh g gonna shoot a bitch something literally ridiculous like that and he went and and he was being uh charged with killing someone and i'm like yeah dude you know know. Lock him up. Oh, J. Shoot a bitch? Oh, look him up. I'll lock him up for even having that as a nickname. And to be

honest, I don't care if he coined it or if other people coined it. Lock him up. So, you know, I've been in some interesting moods lately. Also, I was like, I had a friend, a legit friend do something that was really annoying that I'm like, it's just going to keep happening in the world, like in life. It wasn't something that was like, I don't know. I'm the kind of guy that when something happens to me, I give people the benefit of the doubt. I go like, well, you know, and then I'll start telling people about what happened and what somebody did to me.

And they're like, they did that. Fuck them. And I'm like, well, let's, you know. And I told like 10 people and they're like, fuck that guy. And I'm like, and then I started thinking about it. I'm like, yeah, dude, fuck that guy, man. Fuck him. Anyway, dude, life's hard on every, like, level for everybody.

You know? So it's like, be kind, I guess. I went to go see fucking Resident Evil and Prime Time in one day yesterday. Like, kiss my ass, dude. I went to fucking see Resident Evil in the daytime, got no popcorn, did my show, then went to go see Primetime at night and got popcorn and a pretzel. I don't give a shit. See how this looks, right?

Dude, Robert Pattinson is really solidifying the top spot to best actor. This dude, the movie's fine. It's good. It's good. It's not bad. Resident Evil's great. Prime time's good. You know, it was a feat that they were even able to make that movie prime time.

And everyone's like, oh, this is, you know, there's like backlash about, um, whatever. I love, Chris Hansen's hilarious because you could tell he's a fucking angry guy, you know. So what did you think of Pride Times? Well, it's a movie. They had to make a movie. They had to make a movie. So it's not true. So it's like, you know, he's just seething on the inside, you know.

And yeah, they had to make a movie. But then I'm like, they make movies about these people who are still alive and like, that's kind of fucked up, you know? Like, they didn't make Chris Hansen necessarily seem like a bad dude, but he was a flawed individual. And it's like, dude, just let him fucking live his life, man. You got to have Robert Pattinson play him and shit. and also like the governor or whatever shot himself.

And it's like, I don't know, man. I don't like movies that are based on real stories. You know what? Don't call him Chris Hansen. Call him a different thing. Call him, you know, Jerry cinema. And like, have it be a movie that isn't about to catch a pride or have it be about, like, catch a bad guy. And then we all know it's about Chris Hansen, but it doesn't say Chris Hansen.

because dude the guy should just be able to live his life you know i know the guy's a hero for what he did but like he skits shit because the governor killed himself and so uh that that they were going to catch and like and they were like oh they led it they led this they led the person to suicide and like that's why the show got canceled on nbc and it's just like it's all gross it's all gross but it was a cool a cool movie to watch for sure and then

Resident Evil was good like it was cool because it had the the guy the the kid I don't even know who that is

who's he from he's probably from fucking Riverdale if I don't know what they're from they're from Riverdale a resident evil movie dude you ever put one of the other

Resident Evil movies on I tried to do that what's going on those movies suck okay this is the only well I haven't seen them also but this one's good

who is this Austin Abrams he's pretty good in it oh he's in weapons oh he's the guy in weapons okay who's you related to famous filmmaker J.J. Abrams wow Family biz baby family biz

oh this guy's in a bunch of shit companies in a what do you call it Way I'll Fall. He's the kid in Whale Falls. Anyway, he was good. Yeah, that was a cool movie. Resident Evil. Here's the prime time. Okay, so it's doing well.

824 on the higher end of the box. It was 19.22 million. That's good. Jesus. Remember a movie just to make $5,000 million? Resident Evil is a big hit. Heart of the Beast, dude. I never want to see a movie about a guy and a dog. Brad Pitt did a movie

with a guy and a dog. Never saw the one. Never saw any movie about a guy and a dog. From down to, I saw Turner and Hooch when I was a kid and that's it. That must have been like

the one. But prime time marks the first, the third best opening weekend for 824. Really? Backrooms, obviously. And then Civil War, which God damn,

was bad. That was, talk about a snooze fest. But I think Civil War was one of those movies that they like kind of had to make because it was COVID or something.

They just go, what are we going to do? I don't know. Let's get that guy who kind of looks like Matt Damon and do a fucking movie where we're all outside. Protarchs,

heavily jinzy, excuse, yeah, I think that Rob Pattinson's fucking amazing. He's like the, I would say he might be the next

like Christian bail, which is funny because they're both, Batman, but the guy's just fucking on another level. You see these other actors and you go, yeah, fine. But they're all acting.

And that's fine. It's fine to be acting in movies. You know, you don't ever have to like make it you don't have to make it all real and truthful. Like honestly, even Robert Pattinson does theatrics in the movie, but it's fucking great and it's called for and it's funny, dude.

The choices he makes, bro. If I ever get back, if I ever get back, if I start to, if I ever do fucking movie dude you know what's up i only take parts where i'm playing an asian person or something fucking crazy i'm making choices everybody got choices um let's look like the king of diamonds i look like the king of diamonds that's the maddest shout of ever this oh I've been

dude How did everyone have weird fucking accents like that You know You look like the king of diamonds He does I look like the king of diamonds

That's the maddest shout I've ever did Mattes shout That's the maddest shout Dude Like the king of diamonds Fucking deaf Um

I don't know Congrats to Tisha Campbell, though, who played Genan, Martin. She just got diagnosed with the ADHD. She's 57. Okay. Hey, I figure out before not.

Were you going to die soon? You know? If somebody had the audacity to tell me I had a fucking condition when I'm in my late 50s, I got to tell you, bro. If my kids were already in college, I go crazy. If I don't have to be fully raising kids,

kids in that mode. Like at 57, if I had 20-something-year-old kids and somebody tried to fucking diagnose me with ADHD or some shit, I'm out. That's it. I'm moving to Montana. I'm gone. Off the grid, baby. No iPhone. I'm what?

Here. The iPhone. One ticket, please. Welcome to somewhere. me they're coming yeah are you christelia sir moved out here for a reason i don't know what the fuck dude it's like i guess people uh want to listen to anything but they're fucking inside of their head you know but i truly don't i think that's the i think that's the difference between me and you know, everybody's different in their own way.

That's a major difference between me and another person, or the average person, I guess, is I don't want to fucking hear anything, bro. Take those beats off, man. Take the, don't, a podcast, bro? Who my, what, the fucking, that isn't, Indian guy? Who am I going to listen to? Jay Shara? What the fuck's his name? Shetty? Why? To talk about what? I got to listen to a guy who's talking about finance? I don't want, you know, I got to just be in my head, bro. Thank God I have it. Thank God I have it, dude.

There was always me. There was always me, dude. Fuck, God damn, if I'm, you know? It's like, Sometimes I think, like, what if you were locked up and it's all in solitary confinement? And you go, at least you got your brain. They can't fucking take your imagination, man. They got for that. Because I'd be thinking, bro. I'd be thinking about people, sometimes I do these episodes like this where I'm just so tired and just coming off the road. And people are like, you're okay, bro.

You're doing drugs? No. I got nothing to blame it on. I'm not taking any sort of substances. I don't even take fucking, you know, to sleep sometimes I take tracidone, which is non-addictive. And I didn't even take it last night. So, I'm at the level of not given a fuck

that is just so gorgeous. You know what I mean? It's just so gorgeous. And I did that, dude. I did that, okay? So anyone who's like, if I had one advice for somebody that was like, what should I do, you know?

I'll be like, don't fucking listen to God damn beats headphones. Think about it inside your head. Sit with yourself. Oh, that's probably why I always fucking feel like this, dude. Because I don't distract myself unless I'm, you know what I mean? I try to watch a new TV show and then it's like, I'll get three episodes in and I'm like, I got to watch.

fucking Handmaid's Tale? I don't... Whatever. I'm doing this podcast because the guy in Alpharetta said, don't ever stop doing your podcast. And when I go to Europe, I'm going to have so many fucking stories about Europeans and shit

and what they eat and, like, why somebody bumped into me. But right now, I am just pretty sure we're in a simulation. I love Chris Rock. I love Chris Rock. What do you say here?

Text me do a spend Okay And what's your Instagram I guess it's Chris Rock Whatever They'll find you Anything you want to say to my followers Anything you want to say them

Hey go see Misty Green on October night Are you gonna be there? Yep Okay well say hi to my followers Who's this fucking woman Who's up with the people Go bother people That fucking shit

Excuse me, can I ask you? How, you look confident? How'd you get all that confidence? Asking a fucking 10 with fucking jiggly tits and pouty lips. How'd you get all that confidence? Oh, you know, I just, what do you mean, dude? Men would literally fucking carry her places, you stupid asshole. I don't mean stupid asshole.

The guy's doing content, no hate, you know, do your thing. How do you get so confidence? I'm hot. That's what I, if they ever come, up to me. That's what I'm doing. And I'm not even that hot. I mean, I'm a guy. So it doesn't, it's not about hotness. For a woman, it can be. But probably how do you get so much confidence? 6-2. Shoulders go nuts. Hot. Do you know where Ray's pizza is? That's my fucking thing. 6-2, hot. Shoulders go on for days, put a week on it. Where's raised pizza? Charismatic is all

get out. Don't really give a fuck. Was an alpharet. thinking about quitting my podcast, but a guy said don't, so I didn't. Any idea where raised pizza is? The perfect amount of chest hair on my chest. You know where raised pizza is? Well, dude, yes, I do have insecurities. One is, from my knees down, I look like a stork. And I work my calves out harder than anything. But whatever, dude, good thing that I got it going. on do you know where race pizza is dick's nine inches as I walk away it's not even

just saying it I'm gonna get so tan dude I know I said that this summer and I did get a little tan I'm gonna say this early this is for next summer watch this okay now just remember I said that my shit is gonna be like fucking bacon is that bacon

no bacon shoulders don't go on for fucking days put a week on it that's chris de lea let me tell you what kick started this mood that i'm in here i think i think i actually found it because i just went pee and this is what kick started this mood okay um this made me feel so weird and because he's so right and he really he doesn't say it he says it great but he doesn't even really i don't know he articulates it great without really over explaining it. Let me just play it for you. Here it is. The amazing beautiful Roblo. To live in a time. I was very lucky to live in a time. In the late 70s, into the early 80s,

into the very beginning of the 90s, and then kind of over. It was just an incredible time. It was an incredible time to be in the business. It was an incredible time to make movies. Yeah. It was an incredible time to party. The jacket. My dad had that jacket. It's incredible time to be single. I wouldn't trade it for anything. In the totality of humanity.

Yeah. If I could have lived in any time. In that case, okay, listen to what he's saying. That would have been it. Are you like that's awesome, dude. To be that grateful, first of all, is awesome. But then you go, you go, oh, but what, you know, I'm sure the young people are like, but what, you didn't have fucking iPhones.

Or you go, yeah, but what happens if you want to go somewhere? You don't Uber? You get to do what with a taxi? That's awesome. I mean, I feel like when people ask about which time you want to live back, like for us. Because I'm 46. I was around in the 90s. I was around the 80s too, but I don't know what the fuck was going on because, you know, I was watching He-Man.

But like in the 90s, I was like, oh, okay, you were running around. You go, you go to go to a party. you tell your parents maybe you'd go and then you'd maybe see your friends there or you wouldn't but then the way he's puts it right no it's like oh the 80s you know it is right that's what you dream about like it just seems so cool can i tell you it's better than you dream it was better than you dream that's crazy i wonder if he thought that back then because no social media no social media no cell phone cameras the sort of intrigue of like we'll meet at the club at 11 and then you didn't know maybe they weren't going to be there maybe they were and you you you can't

You couldn't say, hey, where are you? You just didn't know where anybody was. And it was like, it was just the intrigue of it. It was beautiful. Just like a genuine run in. I look at young famous movie stars today and they're definitely not having, I don't think it's fun for them. Dude, I agree.

You think fucking Timothy Sport Chalet's having fun? No way, dude. There's no way. Oh. where am I that that's me in the in the 90s yeah where am I though you don't know I might be there there's no people wouldn't even complain about flakiness back then because you didn't have you you'd just be like I told them I was going to be there I left the message with this goddamn fucking whoever he lives with I don't even know who that person is but they fucking I told him I was going to be at yantico

Brooke Park and I don't know if they're going to be there but let's go let's go bring a lighter for no reason because that's what's fun I think it's a burden. Because there's so many eyes on them all the time. Yeah. And people are waiting for somebody to mess up. Particularly if it's happening to you in your early 20s, like it was for me, you know, I mean, that's when you're supposed to mess up.

I always have a ton of empathy for people who have eyes on them at that age because, you know, you're figuring it out for sure. Yeah. I saw that and I was just like, God, dude, that's. And another thing, too, is you're never going to get that time back, but you're never going to get this time back either. So just fucking try not to just be so negative. You know, and I got to tell that to myself, right?

But like, because these are the times, man. Really? You know? These are the times, too. But, you know, yeah, nothing was like that fucking 90s. I saw something where it was like, you know, I know nostalgia kind of makes everything feel a little better than it is anyway, you know, because you forget pain, so you keep trying to push on and do your thing.

But, you know, it's like, you know, if you get your heartbroken, you're not going to fucking get in another relationship if you remember the fucking pain. So you go, oh, yeah, time passes and you're like, never mind, she's hot. And then you fucking, you fall in love again. And maybe you get your heartbroken again or whatever. you have a family, but that's what's beautiful about it. You forget pain, so nostalgia, kind of candycoats everything, right?

And so I don't know. That's why I said, I wonder if he feels that way back then, because we're always kind of just stressed the fuck out. But there was a lot less to be stressed out about. There was a lot less that we knew about back then. And, you know, it's like, you know, I always think about that scene in the Matrix

where Joey Pantelonis is like, uh, you know, I don't know if it's good to, to, to, to, he's fucking, I'm going to butcher it, but he's eating the steak. And he's like, you know, I know this is just a bunch of ones and zeros. But when I taste it, I'm so happy to, I want to go back to not knowing that there was, you know, not knowing that there's a matrix. And I'm like, yeah, bro, that steak is fucking.

Mm. Mm. Mm. Because if I find out, fucking God damn it, that there was a simulation. And we're all in it plugged in. and I spent any time on the phone with the DMV, I'm going to be so fucking pissed off. You know what I'm saying?

Any fucking time on the phone trying to get papers or like, can you, can you, you know, even back in the 90s, will you fax the thing? Now it's, yeah, check the email. Any time checking emails in line at the bank. I'm going to be so fucking pissed off, dude. You know, so just. remember that but yeah not known where people are was great these generations will never know that

it's and it's not about like tracking it's about it was it's about the mystery of oh i told do you think like when you were in high school and like do you think that uh sarah's coming and be like she said she was i don't know i talked to lisa and she's coming and they're usually together you're just waiting for Sarah, you know? And then she shows up or she doesn't. She doesn't. You know, maybe you meet someone else. But if she does, you go, hell yeah, Sarah's here.

And then you don't talk to her because you're a fucking pussy. You know? I just kind of, just kind of, that really, really, really, when I heard him say that, that really, like, made me feel like wild. And because he didn't even really get into it too much, but something about that, I don't know, maybe it's just right time or place. Whatever. You know, who cares what I want to talk about?

but um excuse me sir what gives you your confidence oh i shit my pants three blocks ago and i didn't clean it i don't give a fuck dude i keep shitting my pants everywhere really oh man billy did the funniest thing we were we were driving and he said smells like poop and i go i farted because i did fuck it you know um um um I guess that it's just, you know, if I'm going to end on something, I would say, give people a break, I guess. I think it's very rare somebody is like truly evil. And we didn't hear the whole story. I just saw, you know what it was too?

I saw John Stewart talking today. And he was like bitching about all the negative stuff that data centers were doing. And I'm like, yeah, I know. And I agree. And I'm just like, what? What's it matter? It's not going to stop yet. It's not going to stop.

There will be no privacy. And that's it. Off the grid in Montana, baby. That's me. Off the grid in fucking Montana. That's where I'm going. 100%. I'd love to.

But how do you make money? I got to fucking travel everywhere and perform. I'll just do this podcast in Montana with the log cabin. Who knew when I spoke about it that I really wanted it? When I'm talking about all these things about the cult and how I wanted a podcast or not a podcast but a cult and then I wanted to have a log cabin somewhere in a wood somewhere. And then those fucking jerks, shits and gigs stole the whole idea

and did a podcast in London about it. And now it's fucking big over there. And everyone's like, hell yeah. And they talk about it. Fuck those guys, dude. You know the real ones, motherfucker. Hell yeah. But yeah, dude, it's like you can take the content,

but you can't take the content machine, bro. You know what I'm saying? I am in Buffalo. I am in... I'm doing Ben Salem, too, which is in Pennsylvania, some casino. I don't even know where it is,

but Tyler, Texas. I'll be in Florida, a bunch of places in Florida. Go look at that. And then Irvine, and then one show in San Diego after Thanksgiving. Thank you guys very much. Chrissley.com.

Appreciate you. Go ahead and fuck your child I'm gonna