Congratulations with Chris D'Elia - I Am Not My Feelings

Episode Date: November 20, 2025

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Runk Oh my gosh, it's episode 475 of congratulations. Congratulations. Hey, guys. So, look, this is the episode where we are a, it's 475. And so isn't that great? So we're going to do a lot of cool stuff this episode, you know, talk about some crazy things and just chilling, you know. And, but besides that, dude, let me just get this out of the way.

I will be in, oh, on New Year's Eve, I will be in San Antonio, come get tickets, cressily.com. I'm going to be in Kansas City like tomorrow night or something Missouri Omaha Nebraska Daytona Beach Florida Jacksonville Florida Cleveland Ohio Detroit

Michigan then I got some Southern California dates go to Chris Leah.com to check it out and stuff and I then will be doing announcing more dates in January so I think Tennessee Tennessee

be on the lookout and be ready I am oh man i'll tell you what what comes to mind right now depletion uh depletion not mentally physically physical depletion um well first of all i i got myself into a little shoulder predicament a i was bench pressing pretty heavy and it felt like my shoulder it actually felt like my shoulder went it something happened you know what it felt like it felt like you know how you when you see

those um crocodiles and they blink and they have like the extra lens over the eyes that's what it felt like happened to my shoulder that's the best way I can explain it by my shoulder is a crocodile eye and um

and that's how I felt and that's it dude and it didn't really hurt all that much I finished my workout because, you know, you got to, dude, at some point, you just go, I don't give a crap. Destroy my body. I'm not stopping, dude. I'm basically robocop. I won't stop, dude. I'll be, I'll be just a rib cage, an eyeball, a tongue, and five teeth.

And, like, just propped up. I don't give a, I don't care. Just keep me going. Pain is nothing, dude. It hurts. it hurts big time and uh but my shoulder doesn't hurt all that much it's like a low grade so i got my guy anthony coming over you know he works with the lakers and he he he helped me i put a story on my thing he's he's just great he's like a miracle worker dude he he um he put it um he put on my

he put these electrode things on my on my on my shoulder i don't know what it is it felt like he was poking the crap out of me though um it felt honestly like he was let me find his instagram so you can if you have any trouble you could find him here Um, I, I, I, it is, uh, A underscore rivers. Uh, dude, uh, so shout out to him. The guy helps me big time. He got rid of my frozen shoulder. Uh, and now I got this other new thing on the other side of the shoulder.

But it's all good, dude. Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah, I'll stop working out. No. Um, I'm a robocop. Prop me up. I'm a tongue, one eyeball, five teeth and a rib cage. Prop me up, dude.

Because I, I just, I'm just, I'm just going to keep getting hurt. I don't you can't stop bro these bodybuilders they got to be in so much pain like when you look at the rock and you're like oh yeah he lost a lot of weight people are like oh no is he sick no dude he's probably just like oh that's the amount of pain i can actually feel so i have to stop i mean like you got to go super heavy if you're going to work out okay you know you don't be a dingbat that's like I do 90 reps so I want to keep a cut you're a dingbat dude

go heavy one rep you know what I'm talking about one rep fail at it too and uh because I'm trying to get those tree trunk legs dude so anyway I did my legs today

two hours at the gym forget it and I go keep going and I kept going and I was sweating so hard, man. And I know a lot of you guys care about this. Some of you guys don't. But I just straight up just kept going. I go, I'm Robocop. Yeah. Do I have back pain, shoulder pain? Nice. Robocop,

though. Rub them. Where the, I'm done with the plates. Rob them. Uh, anyway, it's all good. But, you know, I'm so sorry, strong guys. And I, my, my, my legs are just blowing the fuck up. like they're like they're uh like they're that illory actor he's blowing up huh frankenstein uh is it jacob alorty jacob is a name i think that should be just kind of retired it's it's fine it's not a bad name but it's just like who do you think you are dude jacob go jake um so i'm at the i'm at the you know and i was in chicago show was fantastic, man. Chicago crowds are... Let me tell you something about the Chicago Theater.

It's not an easy room. And I know it's a great, beautiful, legendary theater, and I've played it a bunch of times. But it's not an easy room. It really isn't. Like the Vic over there, that seats like a thousand seat. That room's rocking. The Vic at the Chicago, in Chicago. But Chicago Theater, it's not easy.

And... But it was so fun. I had such a great show. and the audience was awesome. And my family came. They kind of surprised me. I didn't know that they were coming, but Kristen was like,

hey, you know, we're coming with you. And I was like, what? And anyway, so it was super cool. They were on the plane with the, oh, dude, it was so funny because so I fly first class, right? Because, you know, what were we doing here?

You know? I fly business class. I've had first class because, you know, it's like, what are you doing here? You know what I mean? And I don't mean, you know, I'm not trying to be like, you know, first of all, I have flown, well, no, let me actually tell the story first.

So, you know, I do fly. Sometimes I fly southwest, right? And that's just every man for himself. It's basically like southwest to Busan in there. It's trained to Busan. Airplane to Busan is what it is. when you're taking southwest because people are just like trying to get seats you know and you're just like oh god there's only middle ones left and wow people are trying to like like lean over so you

don't sit next to just getting extra fat before their trips so the fat lops over the the armrest anyway dude here's the key and i shouldn't be exposing this but if you're flying southwest sit one seat away from the fattest guy on the plane because then it, it worked. Nope, you get your, if there's a, if there's one seat, bro, sit one seat away from the fattest guy on the plane. Can't do it for longer than that. Otherwise, it'd be demonetized. They, they updated the terms of service, I guess, for the renter sting.

Whatever, bro. We could do it like this. Is he peeking? Is runner peeking? Because that's all we can do. but I um but so uh the fat you know I if there's one seat left there was like one seat left in in southwest and I go and I sat a seat away from the fattest guy on the plane and I did it dude nobody sat next to us and I go I did it I did it yeah was he was so big he was watching anime

of course if you're big if you're over you know a certain amount of weight you gotta you got to have dipped your toe into the anime world it's just it's just impossible if you're at different way really rail thin guys or super overweight guys you've dipped more than your big toe in the anime world i mean if you have a regular body you pretty much just do regular shit you don't you go oh i'm not six you go oh i'm not 12 anymore instead let's watch other things like stuff with claire danes in it you know but when you're when your body's all rail thin or super you know if you're fat i guess i'll say you've dipped your your whole foot in the anime world right

um like even uh what's her name the comic uh what's her name the amy schumer has been i'll watch a few episodes um and uh and she should be the last one of talk about her later but um the um yeah so uh we're in uh we go oh so i get the I get the, so I get a, I get a, I get a ticket, right? Because I'm going to Chicago. And by the way, dude, prices and the airlines, it's so crazy right now. They go, oh, you want to go to Tampa? Oh, it's going to be six grand.

You go, what? Who's fucking going to Tampa is this man, you know? So, um, I get, you know, I get home from wherever the, before Chicago. And Kristen was like, guess what? Got tickets on the same flight. you are talk talk to your travel agent did it we're coming and i go wow i didn't even think about where they were sitting then like a few days later she's like yeah we're gonna be in like row 27 and i'm like because you know she doesn't i i joke about how she spends money but she's very

like she you know she she's not you know i i know the rep of of a wife of a famous comedian is like oh gold digger but it's not she's not like that so she got economy with the kids and i'm like oh okay that's cool that you did that but also what kind of fucking asshole am i going to be up in first class and and you and the kids are going to be in row 27 so she's like well there wasn't even in first class seats left i was like i say you looked and uh so so that's a joke and so um so i i i i i now i'm uh i'm like doc god i got to switch with her i got to do like the thing that you do when you see like a fucking amputee with it with a marine shirt walking by and you make eye contact with him by mistake if you're in first

class you can go oh shit i got to get my seat up dude and you go he doesn't even have he doesn't even need extra leg room he's got one way. Yeah, you know, I make eye contact with no one just in case they're disabled. And they go by, I go, I'm not a bad person. I don't, if I don't look at you, I'm just doing my own time. I'm in my own world. So I'm like, babe, just take the first class. I'll be with the kids. And she's like, no, I don't. She's like, you're so big. And I am, dude, especially with the quad, the quad situation I got going on is a lot bigger than it used to be. So she's like, I'm like, yeah, I understand. And she's like, just to, you know, go. And I wanted to come. I didn't tell you I was coming. So I was like, all right. So I'm like, don't come up in the middle of the flight and say stuff to me though. Because then people are going to be like, Christalia put his fucking, you know, like, there's going to be people that are like, wow, what a fucking asshole. Christalia put his family back there. But you know, black dudes would be like, hell yeah, that's fucking dope. Got his bitch in check. You know what I mean?

But white, white people just will just be like, what are you, what is this asshole doing? But then a black dude just like keeping this bitch in check, dog. It's tight. Got to be relaxed for the show, right? My man playing Chicago theater. Kids be watching fucking Italian brain raw on a fucking YouTube back there and wrote 27. Fuck that. Anyway.

So I'm like, yeah, don't come up to me, though, dude. How about this? I'm going to switch with you halfway. I'll come back. Okay? Because here's the deal. If I come back, I look like a good guy. If you leave and come up, I look like a bad guy.

Because I look like, oh, it was your idea. If I'm the one coming back, I go, Oh, they go, oh, you know what? It was his idea. Shivalry isn't dead. Black dudes in first class, man, bitch-ass fucking. Bitch-ass couldn't hack it, huh? Y'all pussy whip ass.

Bitch-a-cuh. Couldn't hack it, huh? My man's got his little balls shriveled up inside him. Little ad ball. Your balls ain't descended, dog? Undescending ass balls. Hell yeah. Gonna be in row 27.

Your wife sitting pretty in 2F. We are on the sending ass balls. Y'all balls be torsioning, doc. On the way back, your balls be torsion. So, um, so, um, so I'm up there, dude. You know, we take off. And, uh,

like an hour in, she comes up and tells me something. And I'm like, don't, I swear, I had a thought where I was going to be like, I am sorry, I don't speak English. I don't know this woman. Can you send her back, please? But I'm like, dude, because people know who I am, man, you know? Especially I go to the airport, dude. Forget it.

I don't get recognized more than when I'm at the airport. So I'm like, all right, this is fucked. okay so so i'm like oh hey hey hey hey hey hey hey it was like i got caught cheating or something oh god it's so great to i see you you know i'm so glad uh you came up because this was what we planned on because i i came up with this plan to go and visit the kids and and and so anyway i went back there and uh took calvin and billy and whatever and was playing with them. They were watching this thing called Italian Brain Rock, which is just like, dude, Calvin will just watch shit that's like a little too scary, but not in like a demon way.

In like, in like a, after you watch it for five minutes, you're like, what the fuck is this creepy shit? Like it's like a honeypot with feet and he's chasing a family trying to kill him. And you're like, what the fuck? Who thought of a honeypot? It's like, it's like, I, it's like, As a 45-year-old man, you're laughing at it. But then you go, wait a minute. I say, Kevin, are you scared or are you having fun? He was like, a little bit of both. I'm like, turn it off.

Turn it off. Put on Miss fucking Rachel, dude. And so, you know, I'm like, uh, anyway, it was nice to have them there. And, dude. we got we asked for when we got there i was like can you make sure the rooms are connecting they were like yeah it's not we don't have connecting rooms i'm like okay then do you have one room with two beds and they're like yeah and i was like okay we'll take that one i mean we're not it's like we're not going to be in a fucking uh floor we're not going to be in 1101 and our kids gonna be

in 1117 down the the way they're five and two just watching italian brain rot all day all night long so tired the next day scared of the honeypot with feet and um so scared of the of the of the refrigerator slash crocodile this italian brain rot shit you got to look it up it's insane so anyway um so i get the we get now we're all in the same room dude two beds i mean it looks like a fucking bomb went off in our uh in our hotel and and and immediately not not it's not like you don't have the thought oh this is getting a little dirty you go they go it goes boom and you're like oh fucking this is gaza so i'm like oh this is not i'm not they're gonna the kids are gonna want to sleep one we're gonna have to sleep me and a kid

and her and a kid it can't be you know they're gonna sleep together they're gonna fucking push each other off the bed so i'm like and also i'll push her off the bed so i'm like um all right who wants to sleep with dadda and they go they don't say shit. And I go, I'll sleep with Mama. Both of them. And I'm like, well, one of them, you guys got to sleep with dad. That's got to sleep alone?

And Calvin hops in my bed and he says, oh, I'll, I'll sleep with you. I don't want you to feel bad. I want to make you happy. And I go, oh my God, dude, that's adorable. Don't worry about me. I'm joking. But also, I'm like, my shoulder's kind of fucked up. Like, I love the bed by myself.

I'm like, go sleep over with mom. And so they did. And so the three of them slept in the bed and your boy slept by himself, dude. And so it was lonely. But anyway, it was a great time over there in Chicago, in Chicago, did the show, came back and, you know, that was what it was. Destroyed my diet, too. My macros were like, what's going on? the macros the whole weekend were like like a dog when you spray it with with with a water bottle just blinking and ready for it just so I I ate two burgers I ate burritos I mean I'm crazy I did it but now I'm back I'm back anyway um and also who cares it doesn't matter I love how guys work out to get good bodies because they're like chicks are going to love it dude they don't give a fuck

They don't give a fuck. They don't care. And I'm not saying that, like, women are definitely superficial, but not in the same way guys are, right? Like, you know, obviously if you're 6'3, it's better than 5'2. But, like, you know, and also if you have money, that's a thing. And don't pretend like it's not. you know uh and it's fine but the second guys are like they're like what do you like in a woman and you're like big tits they're like kill them we're like in a woman that back door kill him

i'm just being you're a gold digger can't we just you know what i mean like who was the guy that i know a guy i saw a guy that got married and you're just like oh that's a situation that they just figured out and then you're okay you go good for them Good for them. Because if I was, bro, if I was, no, I mean, well, here's the thing. If I was single and 50 something and just balanana control, I don't give a fuck.

And with no, I don't care, whoever, hop on. Let's go. Let's get, be dope, have a back door. And you know what? Don't say too much. Much in a, because you sometimes you hear these voices, you know, I mean, guys have them too, but I'm not attracted to men. So you hear these female voices and you're just like, oh my God, this guy has to hear that voice the whole time in his marriage. So cool and voice and just a, you know, maybe a backdoor and some crazy, you know, and fine. And if I'm making billions, then what the fuck, dude? It's a situation and we're nice. Let's plop out a few kids. Let's do this.

And, but, you know, instead of that, I have the fucking American dream, right? I've got the beautiful family. I'm happy. You know, I've got some money in the bank and whatever it is. But because, dude, like Jeff Bezos, he's not for him. Is he happy? If he's happy, why does he laugh like that? He's got something to prove.

If he was really happy, he'd be like, oh, shit. Life. he's assaulting you with his laughter so um so what that even hell was i talking about uh so i'm at the uh so we went to fucking chic i don't know what the fuck i was talking about but it doesn't matter and it's it's all good um oh good guys with good bodies yeah they don't care women they they care they it's nice you know what it's like dude if a guy is a good body this is what exactly what it's like, dude. This is exactly what it's like. Fuck. It's like when you're eating good food and the salts over there and you're like, oh, I wish I had the salt, but you're like, no, not enough

to get up. That's a woman being with a tubby guy. I'm happy at the table. Yeah, he's got love handles. But dude, I don't want to have to get up. And this food is pretty safe. That's exactly what it is. Yeah, would you like the salt? Yeah, sure. Women like muscular guys. Yeah, no, they don't not. But if they're with fat soes, they'd rather be with fat soes than get up and get the salt. That's just how it is. That's how it is because they want to be comfortable and safe at the table. Now, man, they want to go get the salt because they're like, yeah, I'm going to fucking, right? That's why they need the back doors.

The titty's that going for days, put a week on it. That's what they need that, right? It's what keeps biology going? But anyway, you know, don't, you know, it's like, what do you do it for? But guys will do it for it. They're like, yeah, dude, I'm working out so hard. These chicks are going to fucking cock their heads.

Dude, just have a vibe, my baby. Just have a vibe. If you just have a vibe, You dick hits so wet. Almost by mistake, dude, just have a vibe. Anyway, you know, I'm not saying anything new here. But it's just, I hope you guys know that. Yeah, you know, got back from Chicago,

fucking absolutely just chilled out. Watch a little bit about that new show with Claritaine's in it, The Beast Within. You know, it's good, whatever. She's a lesbian in it. Netflix can't not do it. They got to be like, I feel like there's like standards of practices

and are like, but how many lesbians can, are we going to put in it? And they're like, what? The showrunners are like, huh? And they're like, well, so we're being actually nice. We want to put trans people in it. But it's all good if you don't want to. So how many lesbians do you want?

Can we do two, three lesbians? What? No, that's not what the story calls for. All right, can there be one ambiguous granola-e kind of girl? And we find out maybe the episode four That she used to be married to a woman God damn it dude Yeah fine sure if that's what's gonna get the movie going

So she's a lesbian and that's fine dude But it's like So we're so I watch it and I got a bed early And I just fucking sleep the fuck out Because I want my muscles to grow with dude he's crazy But You know It's so funny I saw this thing online

Amy Schumer, how she deleted all over other pictures and now she's like thin and thinner. And it's just like, oh, you did a Zempic or whatever the fuck version of it is, you know? Maybe not a Zempic, but whatever it is. There's other, there's like other brands, you know. And it's like, oh, what happened of being fat and jolly, dude? What happened about loving yourself in your own skin? What happened to that? How could you say body positivity when you're Lizzo or.

Amy Schumer. And then the second OZempic comes out, you're just gaunt his shit. What happened to love in yourself the way you are? What happened to that? Oh, you were bullshitting and making excuses?

Yeah. We all knew. You know who didn't? You. It's like when everyone figured out, when Kevin Swayce came out closet, you're like, yeah, no shit. He played Danny Kay and was in K-Pax. he's gay oh oh really go figure it's very oh Lance Bass is gay he was biting his lip and when they were singing gone was he in sync or backstreet boys in sync got it when Justin Timberlake was

up against the wall with his tank top beating it because he was so sad the girl left Lance Bass was looking at Justin Timberlake biting his bottom lip. Yeah, dude, you're not happy if you're fat. Okay? Be real. Baste. Fucking based. But, dude, it's like, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then,

and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and they go, huh. guess i'm coming out of the closet be fat if you're fat and you're loving it be fat or work hard dude i can't believe it you know well i mean i can believe it because everyone's always lying in themselves how could you follow so how could you want to see how could you fucking see that happen

on instagram with amy schumer and then go how could you see that and then go it's scrolling on Netflix and you're like I'm going to watch that Pop-Tart movie she's in like how can you do that anyway yeah you're not fooling anyone I'm so it's so it's so

it's like Lizzo is didn't she lose a bunch of Wade remember when Victoria's Secret tried to get fat models and it's like Yeah, yeah, yeah. You still want to make the guys go boy yo-yoing. So what the fuck, dude? Hey, guys, I want to talk to you about our sponsor for the show Legends.

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When you go on Legends.com, use code congrats when you're signing up and you play all the games just perused. dude. It keeps your attention. It's fun. And you can win big, baby. So they got live tables with roulette, blackjack, baccarat, and the highest return to player. Like I said, they have the best odds out there. So go check it out. Legends with a Z. Legends.com. And make sure to use code congrats when signing up. Dude, I was at the gym. There's like this really fly girl at the gym. It's like 30 something. But she's fly, you know. She's like, she looks foreign. but she's not

and the reason why I know she's not she wears the dumbest fucking outfits at the gym it's like dude it looks like she fucking it's like

some of these women with at the gym it's like I don't know I don't know man I mean wear whatever you want dude and I mean that

but like it's like when the it's like what are you are you in a fucking Chris Brown video

like this she was in an outfit look like fucking betty boop on Halloween you know like just fucking tits all out and she's got a great body but it's like oh I talked about her once in this podcast before how she was an annoying person when when she was cut in front of me in line you guys remember that or no anyway whatever uh some of you do out there it was a few episodes ago maybe 10 um and uh yeah yeah he remembers and so uh i i am working out and i go you know i go fucking hard dude okay so when i take a rest i sit the fuck down and i'm i'm like breathing hard so i go sit down after one of my things and you know i'm sweating i'm and i sit over on like the side of um one of those squat rack floors and this fucking idiot comes up in her beddy

boop on hollow in her slut betty boop gear like you know and she says hey i'm actually using that and i go what and she's like i'm using the squat rack and i go oh yeah i'm just taking a rest all good and she's like yeah but i need to put that i need to put this box there and i go oh okay well yeah all all good and i get up and she says yeah again she says yeah i'm using it Yeah, yeah, I was just relaxing. Hey, dude, what's up with people trying to have the last word to strangers? They're not in your life. And I'm obviously just sitting down.

I wasn't, you know what I mean? I wasn't setting up shop. And she's like, yeah, I'm actually using that. And then to think that this, and the dude she's with in the gym, he's, I'm like, this guy's life. he's either in a fucking brain dead moron or or his life is miserable or both you know you could be both i just think you know if you're dumb and you're just like maybe you're just happy you don't really know shit you know but my god oh my god i can't imagine being with such a fucking terror i can't imagine you know it's like it's like you know the guy version of you know the guy version

it is what you know it's like if you have it's like dude there's other people that are are are you but the better version of you well you know like there's there's there's a guy who has who has dope fucking shit and a comfortable life that isn't an asshole you can you can be that there's a woman who's not stuck up and uh uh uh you know anyway whatever what the fuck am i saying it's probably the creatine

yeah yeah i just realized there's creatine and the fucking shake i get so but anyway my fucking left pinky is tingling because of my shoulder so that's great but anyway i um it made me heat a little bit when she did that because I'm like I'm like trying I'm like dude I'm not the hey I'm not

the guy dude at the gym I don't want to talk to you hey bimbo I don't want to talk to you I don't you know you make me want to buy headphones and I don't have I don't I let you know what I listen to when I'd work out nothing whatever the gym's playing yeah fuck you dude I'm I'm so jeed up when I go I don't I go headphones no bro I listen to nothing I you know let's do my problems in my no I you know I don't listen to that I'm free bro I am not my feelings that's what I'm doing the whole time I'm not my feelings when I'm working out I'm my feelings they come in they pass they leave I am not my feelings say I am not my feelings can I get a little help on this one That's it.

So anyway. Um, what is this shit, man? My wife took my computer and she's like, I mean, there's this shit that I don't, it's like, what is this puke?

All right. Look at this. Hey, Chris. Love you, bro. Are you a tits or ass guy from Tim and Scottsdale? Go to holler. dot baby slash Kristallia

if you want to get a shout out on this podcast that's where this dude asked me this question and that

question is so absolutely unbestankably gay because dude what my whole shit is

if we're just going off looks and that is not what is only necessary you need the full package you need a nice

person you need you know a generous person you need a, you know what I mean? Someone to lift you up, because it's not just about looks. And, you know, obviously the older you get, the more you realize that.

But if we're going based on looks, the one thing that matters and the only thing that matters, to me, is proportion. I don't want you looking like a fucking aunt. A-N-T. A-U-N-T is fine. But like, all, like, crazy BBL and no tits or big-ass, you know what I mean? It's just like big-ass titty's and just, You know, these women just look crazy.

The thinest, like, dude, are you, are you, uh, anime? No, no, I'm not saying you can't get dudes and, and have them lay you down. That's fine. But I'm, to be with them, a real guy? No. No, not a real guy. Not a real person. You know, you'll be with a guy who has a drop top bentley.

That's like not, it's like, you don't want to be with that guy. He'll lay you down. um but yeah dude proportion it's all about proportion i don't care and that's just based on looks but also you need to be a good person bye uh so that's the question and that's the answer um um i uh oh dude i forgot about that about that the dude um that oh why is this not going why is it not on my why isn't i why isn't it not how isn't it on my thing it's plugged in it it's plugged in

isn't it that's weird okay uh kind of fix the ears hold on oh yeah okay who's right rejigger it so um i'll get to that in a little bit but uh i forgot about the dude that's upside down at the gym all the time dude and he is dude i don't know you know it's like these guys that do these different workouts some of them are good the workouts and and you this guy's fucking upside down and I'm talking about he's upside down the percentage that he's upside down inside the gym

like not just during the workouts is 25% every exercise almost every exercise he does is upside down and I'm just like are you a bat hey

right set up's fine I take I always take pictures of him and send him to the group chat. Dude, I destroy him in the group chat. And I feel like I'm one of the... I feel like when he sees me, he fucking, he knows that I sent to the group.

He knows. He must know that's a guy who sends my shit to the group chat. Because you can't just be upside down at the... The guy's... The guy will be on his head with... At the squat rack, pushing the fucking bar up.

I'm like, what is it for? are you a bat can you hear me sending these pictures to the group chat and that's why you look at me that way anyway dude um he's one of those guys that like brings his own uh you know uh what do you call it the um weight belt guys fantastic anyway and he's he's pretty fit but like if we can be upside down you got to be tarzan Um, here's Russia's first AI-powered humanoid robot, Adol. That's a little close to Adolf.

Collapses during its on-stage debut. He goes walking out. Yeah, see, this is the whole thing. It's not ready. You know, we talk about this a lot. Oh. Oh, so drunk, the robot. Waving.

Oh, that's a Nazi salute. That's name is Adolf. And fainted. Okay, cool. That's just the worst. look they can't even pick them up because you're so goddamn heavy oh dude oh look at the guy pulling the curtain over like bro we saw it happen oh it's all twisted up the curtain bro this is what the fuck is going on get this

fucking asshole out no oh dude that is just fantastic leave it dude you don't need to put the curtain over like like it's like the fucking wizard of oz nothing you know don't look at the man behind the curtain he fell it's the worst robot there my work is in these robots i'm a you know what i'm going to do i'm going to not look at robots until next year they're just not done yet i don't need to be seeing videos of robots and i'm saying not on the podcast i'm just saying whenever i see a video of a robot i'm gone i'm out i'm out dude i'm out um i i i um this rain won't stop it has to stop I'd like it to stop.

Oh, dude. How about Trump? That is just with the Epstein file stuff. Like, stuff keeps coming out. And it's just like, he was there. Hey. You know?

Even if you didn't do anything, you went. Hey You went It's okay I don't I mean maybe it's not okay if you didn't You know

But You saw nefarious stuff going on You You're in picks with them You went Did you just be like Yeah I went but I didn't do anything.

And, and they will, and I'll tell you right now, they will never release the Epstein files. And I know, I know that they're voting on it tomorrow, right? I think tomorrow. And I know that most of the people are going to vote to release the Epstein files in Congress or whatever the fuck. And they're still not going to release him. I know this.

There's not going, there's too many. powerful people in that. And that's, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, You got to release it, okay? And, uh, uh, uh, the, there are going to be people who vote, there are going to be people

in Congress who vote, no, don't release it. And those people, what are the fuck are they going to be like after Trump isn't president anymore? Uh, I was just, um, it, it's, it's actually, uh, Dude, you voted to cover up trafficking. Trafficking isn't even the worst of it. You know what I'm saying.

But I can't say it because I don't want to do it on YouTube. Crazy. Absolutely release them. I want to see everybody in there. I want people to do a surprise. Oh, fucking what? You go, you know, Beanie Siegel was on it?

Beanie Siegel was on Jeffrey Epstein. He was on. Eustine Island? Mac, bitch, I move Glax and pounds. Beanie Siegel and Memphis Bleak went to Epstein Isle? Memphis Bleak, dude. You're telling me. Wow, dude.

Just in the pool. Sup. Sup, Bill, Clinton. you like my song to reason I don't know nice imagine Bini Siegel talking to fucking Bill Clinton

y'all got sucked off and shit in the Oval office nice why you admit it uh nice use a cigar or whatever that's what i heard mac bitch well you put the cigar in the pussy uh uh nice under the desk just in epsine island in the pool in epsie island The, the, burn her pussy, right?

Man, like, S, S, S, S, S. Uh, Hillary. Who are these guys? The rappers, sir. They're part of rock, uh, rock, what is the fucking, Rockefeller Records? Why the fuck isn't JZ here?

Oh, um, because of the whole sex trafficking thing it's illegal nice fucking what's his name with fries on his legs what's his fucking who's the guy with the frie the guy who

the fuck god the guy from Philadelphia the rapper the guy who was in the cipher that fucking killed it that was just like the best meek mill just a fucking bunch of fries on his legs you look it up fries on

meek mill's legs dude unbelievable the best picture I've ever seen on on the internet period just a bunch of fucking french fries on his ashy legs just unreal and posted it just fucking potatoes Beanie Siegel

will cross from him in a pool nice where you get down Mepley. Bro, the 2000s hip-hop. I told you about the time where the Beanie Segal song, I had a, it was back when CDs were a thing, and I had a Beanie Seagull single.

What the fucking was it? That's the thing. I move glocks and pounds. I move out with raw blocks and browns, whatever that fucking song is, then when it goes, then then-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d. Oh, dude, dude, I want to listen that song.

Dude, I want to listen to that song again. Fuck, I'm going to do that. Anyway, it was the most, it was a dope. The song, I loved it, but it was so repetitive. And the CD got stuck on that song. I couldn't play any of the other buttons on repeat. It played that song whenever I drove, and I couldn't turn it the volume louder or lower.

I still don't know all the words to that song. But yeah, I like Beanie Siegel. How old is fucking Beanie Siegel now? See, this is what we talk about on the podcast. Beanie Siegel age. 51 years. I like how it says about 51 years. That's when you're not famous enough.

But he's pretty famous, though. Well, I'm in certain circles. It's not like my dad knows who he is. The Mac bitch guy? How many kids did Beanie Siegel have? Let's look it up. uh okay three who cares um god yeah i really liked this rapper i really liked this rapper

what's his latest song beanie segal latest song oh god these two pages and a pay phone fuck yeah bro i got to listen you know what dude i got my work cut out for me after this show um oh my legs cramping fuck yeah dude oh fuck you went hard

I did such a long workout that afterwards chat chpd was like listen you gotta eat a lot more calories today and I go it's too much people say to me like I'm so jealous dude you get to eat yeah but you're just eating chicken more chicken dude you gotta eat fucking tuna

I don't know my problem I'm gonna be stacked this fuck fuck you I'm juggernaut dude you ever see the what's what's the league

where they fucking have a football and they just collide have you seen it it's like a new it's like not the power slap thing it's like a new one they just run at each other

and tackle each other it's new and it sucks it's like they're just gonna dude these guys are just going to die they're all Samoan because you know they're so big um

But I don't know what it is, but it's a, it's, what is it? Run it? Is it called run it? Run it, run it. I'm so tired of content, bro, you know? It's like, content with the fucking, like with this shit. Like, dude, fuck yourself, man. We're all idiot.

This sound is making us. idiots it really is someone's going to slip and fall in real life you're not going to hear and you're going to be like oh dude are you kidding me slipping and falling is the best fucking thing that you could see as long as the person doesn't get hurt everyone's going to need portable fucking devices that go for when people fall down and then and then you look and then you look at someone you go that fucking noise dude whoever created that noise dude someone falls down and just oh yeah dude i swear to god j zsie sounds like bill clinton i know always thought that

anyway uh yeah jzy or bill clinton uh yeah anyway uh yeah anyway Oh. Which one? Jay-Z or Bill Clinton? Oh, man. Put a cigar in a pussy. Which one? You don't know.

You think Jay-Z hasn't done some shit like that? Yeah, I'll fuck her in the Oval Office. Which one? Yeah, you don't know. I'm a businessman. Which one? They both said it. They sound the same.

They sound the same? So anyway. Let's see what else we got here. What? Introducing iPhone Pocket, a beautiful way to wear and carry iPhone. I mean, beautiful, you know? What's the meaning of beautiful? This is

this is one of those things that I look at and I go, this is so fucking stupid. And then if I think about it too much, I go, it would be kind of nice to not have it in my pocket. You know what I mean? Okay, so Apple today unveiled an iPhone pocket. The fact that iPhone made a phone that they say now you all no we didn't need phones we had phones at home and we would just walk

around and go places without looking at our phones and without taking pictures with our phones and without being on x and being on instagram and now uh they we you can't live with that one and so much so that they are fucking selling pockets for it now you have to fucking buy new pockets i have pockets so it's a basically a really small satchel inspired by the concept of a piece of cloth okay not a concept is singular 3d knitted construction it is designed to fit any iphone as well as all pocketable items beginning friday november 14th that will be available at select apple store locations in france greater china china italy yeah this is not a thing oh no u.s yeah okay singapore iphone pocket features a rib what is this oh wow

colors. Dude, all you got to do is come out with different colors and you go, all right, I'm in about anything. You can make a piece of dog shit. You make one blue, one red, one yellow. You go, all right. I'll put it outside. They smell bad, but they look kind of lit, though. Look at this. When people get, it's like, it's like they've seen Mad Men too much. When people get like this, look at the quote, the design of iPhone pocket speaks to the bond between iPhone and its user while keeping in mind that an Apple product is designed to be universal in aesthetic and versatile in use like dude it's a pocket you're selling nothing what's in a pocket what you put in it's nothing you're selling a hole

uh of course Japanese people made it uh I've the joy of wearing eye iPhone in your own way. See, when they talk about shit like this, I'm out, dude. The joy of wearing an iPhone? When I think of the word joy, I think of family. You know what I mean? And honestly, that's it. Maybe like, you know, no, it's always with family.

If you're at Magic Mountain alone, if you're at fucking great adventure alone, it's not joy. It might be fun. But you got to be with. family. So wearing an iPhone the joy of wearing an iPhone in your own way. That's not your own way. They're telling you how to wear it. They made the pocket. You want to wear it your own way. Attach it to a headband like it's a fucking doctor's

what are those things? Or a minor with the light. Like you're in a cave. I don't know. This is just a mess. I'm going to get one. How much is it? $150 for this fucking thing. For the little one? There's longer ones.

Short people just dragging them to show they have money. Fucking you got little dirk just fucking dragging them. And we got the iPhone pocket, the long one. Mac, bitch. this is wild so let's see where they have it they don't have it in la these are the ones where you can get them in new york city you can get them in new york city but anyway dude i won't be getting one i'll go i'll fucking get um appreciate you and that's it you know get tickets to my cleveland show get tickets to my detroit show get tickets to daytona and jacksonville and then new year's eve i will be in san antonio we love you sign up for the patreon dude if you keep the show going uh and then also uh

You know, I'm going to be in Southern California. Go to Chrysley.com and have some fun. Thank you very much.