Consider This from NPR - Pamela Anderson Takes Control Of Her Life Story

Episode Date: February 1, 2023

Pamela Anderson has had an incredibly rich, and varied, career. She's an actress, the author of several books, and a prominent activist - especially for animal rights.But many people still see her primarily as a sex symbol, the archetypal "blonde bombshell."In a new memoir titled "Love, Pamela", Anderson takes control of the narrative, telling her story in her own words.In participating regions, you'll also hear a local news segment to help you make sense of what's going on in your community.Email us at [e-mail] more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

This message comes from Indiana University. Indiana University is committed to moving the world forward, working to tackle some of society's biggest challenges. Nine campuses, one purpose. Creating tomorrow, today. More at iu.edu. For decades, Pamela Anderson has been a force to be reckoned with. She's a prolific activist, campaigning most vocally for animal rights. She's also authored several books, both fiction and nonfiction. But you know, over the years, Anderson's work as an actor and model and her love life have been in the headlines the most. That's when she's often reduced to descriptions like this. Pamela Anderson is this generation's sultry sex goddess.

Hollywood and the blonde bombshell. International superstar from her role on Baywatch. Perhaps the most famous blonde on the planet. So while that image has certainly opened a lot of doors for her, it's also come with a lot of unfair assumptions. Would you want to be a serious actress? I am a serious actress. I mean, you know what? Would you want to be a serious actress? I am a serious actress. And that's why Anderson wanted to tell her own story in a new memoir titled Love, Pamela. I don't want a ghostwriter. I don't want a collaborator.

I just need a great editor, and that's what happened. I wrote every word. Consider this. The story of the blonde bombshell is a story told about Pamela Anderson, not by Pamela Anderson. Now, with her new memoir, she's ready to take control of the narrative. From NPR, I'm Elsa Chang. It's Wednesday, February 1st. This message comes from WISE, the app for doing things in other currencies. Send, spend, or receive money internationally, and always get the real-time mid-market exchange rate with no hidden fees.

Download the Wise app today or visit wise.com. T's and C's apply. It's Consider This from NPR. Pamela Anderson, the Playboy, Playmate, and TV star who became one of the most famous sex symbols of all time, has written a book about herself, and it was her sons who gave her the idea. I think they're just sick of always fighting for their mom. They don't even really know the gritty details of everything, of course, but they felt like, you know, that I've overcome some things, which is what made me very strong or gave me the sense of humor. And a warning, Anderson has worked through a lot, including

sexual trauma, which we'll be talking about in this episode. Anderson told me that she was a painfully shy kid who was molested by a female babysitter at a young age. From then on, I just felt kind of like a prisoner of my childhood. I just felt like I couldn't, I was really confused and I knew it had something to do with my body and I just felt very shy and I just was painfully shy, paralyzing. It was such an awful feeling. And so when I did get to LA, when I did push myself to kind of make these kind of brave choices, it was life or death for me. It really felt like I was doing something to overcome and take my power back. And I did it with a vengeance.

You certainly did. You certainly did. I mean, one of the things that you mentioned in your book that really moved me is even though you had gone through sexual trauma very early on in life, over time, you were able to get to a place where you could really enjoy sex. You say that sex actually helped you conquer some of your shyness. Quote, I loved role playing. I could disconnect. Be someone who wasn't me. Sex could be fun, fulfilling, and imaginative. Tell me, how did embracing your sexuality help you take back control, help you give yourself power?

Well, I'm a romantic, and I was always a big reader and loved fairy tales. And so it was this heightened reality of what romance could be because it couldn't just be two normal people, you know, sitting on a couch reading together. For me, it had to be my knight in shining armor is coming in on a horse covered in, you know, like Tommy and I just had this very wild kind of romantic time together. You and Tommy Lee. Yeah. It's how I imagined a real loving relationship should be because my role models were my parents who were, you know, it was alcoholism and, you know, abuse and things like that. So I just felt like I don't want that. I don't want that.

And I thought maybe others did it differently. So that, because, you know, the abuse in my life, I think what people don't realize is it's accumulative. It's like it's compounding. It's like anytime you start with something that happens and then the next thing that happens is just on top of the last thing and then more and more and more. So it just became harder and harder and more and more about my imagination and playing a character because I really didn't want to disconnect from myself. I think my goal was just to be happy. My goal was to, especially right now, my goal is to make these next few months really happy ones because I am going back and feeling those feelings

again. Writing the book was volcanic. I was so angry. It was weird because, you know, I'm a pretty happy-go-lucky person, I would think. And then while I was writing, I just, this rage was coming out of me. I was literally like the exorcist. I was, my head was spinning. You know, I felt like, you know, if anyone wanted to change anything or do anything, my poor editor, she's a saint. But I was really determined to tell my story. I just wanted to reach those feelings that are unexplainable. And I just wanted to be able to struggle for those words and try and explain where, how

this all happened. But if I may, you know, one continuing theme in your story that you write about is the strength that you found in your sexuality. And I want to talk about the Playboy Mansion because this is a place that, you know, has a reputation for wild parties where things have gotten out of control, where there have been reports of sexual assaults. But you, you were able at Playboy to find a place that nurtured you, that empowered you, a place where you felt safe. You write that Playboy was an honor. It was a privilege, as you put it. But you also say it may have set you up. You write that it may have given some people the impetus to treat you without respect. And if I may, I want to turn to the sex tape.

I'm sorry that you keep getting asked about this. No, that's okay. I have just one question for you. What did it feel like at the time to watch your husband, Tommy Lee, get basically put on a pedestal for how he appeared in the video while you were essentially slut shamed for years i you know i didn't think of it that way i felt like it was negative for both of us but you know tommy's a rock star i mean it kind of adds to the kind of legendary craziness and i you know was a little actress on baywatch and had kind of hopes and dreams of being an actress and, you know, raising my children. And I think in an instant became a cartoon character. And then, you know, it was all these whole movies

that were all spliced together. There was no tape made. It was just our whole movies that were stolen out of our safe. And this whole safe was stolen. But like, as it was erupting, literally around the world, did you feel like you were getting treated so differently than Tommy was? I wasn't getting, no, I wasn't thinking that at all. I was just thinking, how is this going to affect my family? How is this going to affect the people around me? And I was devastated, absolutely devastated, but I came up with this way of kind of getting through it with grace and dignity.

I said, you know, I'm going to have to leave the house. I'm going to have to walk around. I'm going to have to work, and my kids are going to have to walk around. I'm going to have to work and my kids are going to have to go to school and this is out there. And you have to learn how to live with it. And I know it had affected our relationship. I think it was the reason we fell apart. And it's unforgivable that people still find ways to capitalize off it. Well, you have made very clear that you have learned to use your sex appeal to draw

attention to very real important causes that you care about, like animal welfare. Can you talk about that piece? How like, instead of letting your public image in any way limit you, you've used it to influence and persuade people to care about the things that you deeply care about? Well, I started to think that anything that got me in the door was a good thing. So a lot of times I would meet with world leaders because they wanted to meet me, you know, have a kiss on the cheek or an autograph. And I wanted laws to be changed. And we both got what we wanted.

So they were always very impressed that I knew about what I was fighting for. They didn't expect me to come in alone and to have these thoughts. And so I was able to be very successful. You understood that people like to be around you, want to be around you. It was kind of funny. And there has been strange things. When I would write a letter to somebody to meet them, they would call and say, you know, I was in the prime minister of Australia, for instance, would say, can I bring my buddies along? I'll meet you, but can I bring my buddies along? How did that feel when they would ask that? Well, I was getting kind of used to that kind of behavior, but publicly people were starting to kind of catch on how awful that was. And I would

just, again, I didn't crumble. I mean, you just have to keep going. Disrespect is a weapon of the weak. And I was able to change laws for animals. And that was really important to me to kind of have some meaning along this kind of silly, superficial career. I felt like I wasn't able to really dig my teeth into anything of substance when it came to my career. So I thought, well, this is how I can create some meaning. Exactly. You talk about actually being underestimated was like a secret weapon. Like one of the poems in your book reads, when you have nothing to live up to, you can't disappoint. People whispered, I might be genius if I could form a full sentence, utter shock. You know, I love that because I love it when

people underestimate me. It means I'm just going to show them that they're wrong. Is that how you felt sometimes? Yeah, I did. And I'd always kind of laugh when people go, oh my gosh, she wrote a poem. Or she said this. And it was just like, if it was anybody else, maybe it would be kind of sidelined. But because it was me, it was so shocking. She can put sentences together in a paragraph. Yes, in a paragraph.

Make a statement. Yeah. Write a book. Right. She could have done that by herself. No duh, people. Yeah. Write a book. Right. She could have done that by herself. No duh, people. Yeah. So, you know, something I'm curious about when you're writing a book about yourself is what to reveal and not reveal.

Like so many times people who go through trauma are told, shine a light on it. Name it. Open up about it. But you point out near the end of your book that some parts are best left unsaid. Tell me about that decision. Well, I mean, my book started out of just a poem. It was like a 60-page poem and it turned into like more poetry and I had to learn how to shape it and put it into a book.

But I also felt like there was some things that just didn't need to be in there because I really wanted to balance it with the whole life story. It's not just the things that happened to me aren't me. I wanted to make sure that my feelings about these situations were, it was more about that and not about just like the men in my life or people that had come and gone. But I'll tell you the hardest part of the book for me to write was about the abuse as a child to actually name things like the games she used to make me play on her. And I felt like, I really don't want to say this. And so I probably should say it because I think there's so many

people out there, you know, predators know how to pick vulnerable people and they do things to you that are so embarrassing and shameful that you would never tell anybody. And I think that's something that we need to kind of get past. And I think that hopefully will help young people or anybody tell somebody. It's hard to, but I wanted to say that. And I, you know, I took it out, erased it. I put it back in. I took it out. I put it back in. I thought, I'm going to put it back in. It needs to be in there. And I think it'll speak to somebody. Did naming it out loud, putting it in there, did it change the way you think about the past now when you think about what happened to you? Well, I've obviously, my survival mechanism was my imagination and also

learning how to compartmentalize. And I'm dealing with that a lot right now with my mother, even. My mom, you know, she read the book and we've been talking and it kind of comes out and, you know, in jibs and jabs and, you know, those feisty kind of comments. My mom's very sarcastic and funny, but it's like very cutting and cold. And I can tell she's just processing. So I'm just kind of, I'm listening to her. But I think in the end, it's helpful. And I want to stop this because in my family, this is a lineage.

This is generations of the same story. And I don't want that for my niece, my other women in my life, or my kids or anybody in my family. The story being sexual trauma. Yeah. Someone has to be brave enough to stop it. We don't have to tiptoe around alcoholics. We don't have to be in abusive relationships. We can leave. And I said to my mom, which was very difficult is, I guess the difference between her and I is that I left and she stayed. I chose my kids and she chose my dad. We've been going at it a little bit like this,

but I thought it's good. Let's get this out. Let's get this out. I think that's why at any sign of abuse for me, at any sign of violence, I left. And, you know, people kind of like to make fun that I've been married multiple times, but, and I make fun of myself too,

because it's my, those are my regrets. I wish I didn't. But I just wanted to recreate a family for my boys. But I just was not fishing in the right pond, maybe. You're still searching. I'm still searching. You're still seeking. Pamela Anderson's new memoir is titled Love, Pamela. And the Netflix documentary about her life is called Pamela, A Love Story. Thank you so much for having this conversation with me. I really enjoyed this. Thank you. Thank you very much. Have a good day. It's Consider This from NPR. I'm Elsa Chang. This message comes from Indiana University. Indiana University performs breakthrough research

every year, making discoveries that improve human health, combat climate change, and move society forward. More at iu.edu slash forward.