Corporate Survivor with Mei Phing : Career Growth In The Corporate World - Ep205: Life lessons from my 20s and 30s.

Episode Date: March 7, 2024

✅ Watch FREE WORKSHOP, newsletter, work with me ⮕ http://www.meiphing.com ✅ Corporate Survivor™ is the ultimate career course for 9-to-5 working professionals, just like *you*, who want to enhance corporate world mindset, skillset and strategy so you can NAVIGATE + GROW your career with clarity, confidence & opportunities... 🚀 ⚡ 📌 ABOUT THIS PODCAST: Welcome to Corporate Survivor with Mei Phing — ex-Corporate Leader turned Career Coach & Founder of The Corporate Survivor™. On this podcast, Mei Phing shares her corporate world insights, experiences and wisdom so you can grow your 9-5 career with clarity, confidence and opportunities. ✅ WEBSITE ⮕ https://www.meiphing.com ✅ FREE GUIDE ⮕ https://www.thecorporatesurvivor.co/freeguide ✅ NEWSLETTER ⮕ https://www.thecorporatesurvivor.co/mondays ✅ CAREER COURSE ⮕ https://www.thecorporatesurvivor.co ⚡

Welcome to the Corporate Survivor Podcast, where we talk about how to grow your career confidence, build your skills and value, increase your salary, and the many lessons we learn in the corporate world. For more career support, click on over to www.mayping.com. This is Mayping, your corporate leader turned career coach. I hope you enjoy, like and subscribe. It was my birthday last weekend. I turned 36 and let me tell you that your 30s is not going to be the same as your 20s. So in this episode, I want it to be an unfiltered, slightly unhinged session

where I'll share with you all the lessons that I have learned in my 30s and just to think about how things have changed so much as compared to how I would approach my life and my career in my 20s. And hopefully these are some of the things that you can also learn to apply in your own career or your own life as well. So the reason why I created the Corporate Survivor Podcast is for me to share with you all things corporate world. But the reality is that, yes, that's the corporate world, but there's also you, right? There's also you and me going through the journey of life, going through transitions, going through change,

going through growth. And I think this is so, so, so important to recognize that as we change, our life circumstances might change. Our careers will change also. So everything is interconnected. Everything is interconnected. This is, I think, going to be a slightly longer episode. I don't know how many lessons that I have. So if you want to grab a snack, want to grab a drink, feel free to do that. And if you are watching this episode right now and you're not yet

subscribed to the podcast, then please subscribe because it's the best way you can catch up on all the latest episodes that are upcoming. And if you have been here for a while, you might have noticed that I've gone MIA for the past couple of weeks. The reason is because I have been very, very, very, very sick to a point that I cannot get up to record an episode. So there comes the first lesson. The things that you do in your life, the kind of like intensity things, the food that you eat, the things that you do, the intensity of the kind of life that you live in your 20s, you don't feel the impact in your 20s. But they will all come bubbling up in your 30s. So basically, that was kind of like what happened to me. So, you know, in my 20s, I've worked at very intense jobs. I sleep really

late and all those things, right? You know, when you're young, you feel like a superhero. You feel like you can eat whatever, you can do whatever, you can, like you don't feel anything because, you know, you can go to bed at three.

I mean, that's me. Then wake up tomorrow and still go to work at eight, right? That's fine. You know, it's something that you'd be like, well, you know, I'm still energetic. I can still do it.

Like no problems, right? So that's 20 problems right so that's 20s and that's the kind of life that if you have lived that kind of life like i had in my 20s then in your 30s like the little symptoms will start come will start like bubbling up that's because you are getting older like i'm i'm getting older and you know your body at your 20s right and your 30s is not gonna be the same and this is something that I've definitely learned the hard way because I had like a whole medical blowout thing over the past few weeks and stressed me out. And it really, you know, got me thinking extremely seriously

as to like, hey, you know, the kind of life that I was living in my 20s. And as I'm getting into my late 30s right now, I can't like sleep at two, three o'clock whenever I feel like it. I can't be stressed out all the time. I can't be eating rubbish and expect that I'm going to be as energetic and everything's going to be okay, right? In the next few months, in the next few years, probably it's not going to be so. So I think the lesson here is really seeing the long-term impact like even though some things

that we don't see the impact immediately it does not mean there's no long-term impact and and I also want to make sure that for this episode I'm also tying all these into some career lessons that you can take away as well so if we talk about like you know short-term impact versus long-term impact I think this is things that we do all the time right we make decisions in our career we make, you know, choices that is very short term, but we don't think about what are the long-term implications. Like for example, some people, you know, if I don't like this job, let me just quit. But then after quitting multiple times, and then you start wondering as to like, hey, how come people are

calling me a job hopper? How come I can't keep getting better jobs? I'm like, yeah, that's because we are making a short-term decision that we are not thinking about the long-term impact. So these are some of the things that is worth thinking about in your career. And even some other examples include, okay, if you are not good

at a certain skill, right? Or you find it very difficult to adapt at any job in the corporate world. This is because, you know, you don't know how to structurize your work and everything. So as an outcome of that,

you move from one job to the other, right? Again, this will create a short-term positive impact in which, you know, if you don't like it, you quit. I mean, that's fine. But once you get into your 30s and after, you know,

doing this kind of like, okay, if I don't like it, I'm going to quit within three to six months sort of thing. After a certain period of time, it kind of turns into, hey, there's a long-term impact to that. And the long-term impact is you may feel stuck at the exact same spot again and again and again. It's kind of like a groundhog day, right? Going through this thing again and again and again, it's not

getting better because you lack the skill to get better, right? So it's kind of a situation of, you know, escaping the short-term impact, but actually feeling it long-term. So that's how, as I thought about my younger days, not just in life and in career, these are some things that definitely will resonate as well. That continuing on my medical blowout story, after I had this like crazy itchy rashes across my body over the past few weeks. So when it first happened, then I was really stressed out. And the first thing I thought of was like, you know what, let's just go to the hospital of some sort and just get like some jabs to just stop because it's so frustrating. And I feel like I cannot deal

with the symptoms and the pain and the frustration anymore. So like, let's just go somewhere, get the jab and like get it done with. Then thankfully, my partner stopped me and said that, okay, you know what, do you want to like calm down and want to maybe consider finding out what is the root cause, right? What is the root cause of why this is happening? And you know, is there something that we're missing out on? And is this something that maybe we can find out more, right? Actually learning why this is happening so that we can fix it at the root cause and, you know, for this not to happen again. So I calm down and I'm like, okay, I want to make sure I get to the root cause because it's all about fixing the foundation. And obviously in times of frustration and, you know, it's not just you, you know, I feel the

same also. And I can understand that from a point of when you're really frustrated, we just want the overwhelm, we just want the anxiety, we just want the frustration, the stress to stop. But the path of like getting it to stop, right? There could be things that like by fixing the foundation, it may be a longer terms of like happiness, longer terms of like health versus for many people, it's more like, okay, you know, let's just escape. Let's just like,

just tell me what to do, that sort of thing. And usually it doesn't really work very well because if you don't know what's broken, then we're always trying to fix a symptom, but we're not trying to fix the problem. So for me, I eventually went to like a holistic doctor

and kind of like got diagnosed in a sense of, okay, apparently, I am anemic genetically. And this is something that was pointed out to me when I was 36 years old, which is really, really, I wouldn't say shocking, but I think it's a little bit mind blowing. And the reason is because when you have lived your life with a certain condition and a certain environment, since you are really young, you don't see what's wrong because that's reality.

So that was my reality around, you know, comments such as like, oh yeah, you know, you are really pale, you know, not enough blood, all those things. I don't want to get into like, you know, too healthy in this podcast episode. But what I'm trying to say here is

a lot of the symptoms that this medical practitioner pointed out to me, I was like, oh, you mean that's not normal? Like other people don't feel this way? Like other people don't experience this? And he was like, no,

people don't experience this. This is actually a condition that you have. I was like, oh, okay. So it was a mind-blowing moment, but it was like a moment of reflection as well because like i said if you if that's your reality all this time then you can't unsee it so i'll tie this back to something around your career so you can actually understand what i'm trying to say so for example right if you believe that work is supposed to be chaotic you're supposed to be

working late all the time. So the time, so it kind of like, you accept it as a reality. You'd be like, okay, you know what? It's normal to work hard and I should be working hard. And the day that I'm not working long hours, it's not normal, right? Or work is supposed to be very chaotic.

I'm supposed to be busy at work all the time. You know, it's normal to like not have time to breathe. It's normal to, you know, have fights with your colleagues. It's normal to not get along with your boss. Like if you normalize this, that becomes your reality and that becomes the environment in which you'll be like, oh, okay, that's normal. But I'm telling you that it's not normal. I'll give you a very quick story. So I had a client in my career program. So I have a career program, it's called The Corporate Survivor. It's a step-by-step course that's designed to help you get recognized at work and grow a career with new opportunities without feeling daily overwhelmed, right? So in this program, I actually

had a client who, when she first joined the program, she told me that she's always overwhelmed at work. She always wonders whether she's doing a good job. She feels imposter syndrome and she's always worrying whether she's working hard enough and she's always really, really busy. However, after going through the program and the latest update that she came to me last week, and she told me that, hey, Mei Ping, you know, I'm getting very good feedback at this job, but I feel that I'm too free right now. I'm too free. And because of that, I feel that I should go and ask for new things to do. So I paused her and I told her that, okay, it's only been six months at this job, right? The reason why you feel free is not because you have nothing to do. It's because you have finally implemented and applied the corporate structure

of how to deal with work, structurize your work exactly as I taught her. So the difference is not because she's really free, it's because she has managed to organize and structure her work in a way that she can still get results but with less time. So she feels that it's not normal. The normal reality is I need to work late all the time. So let me go and find some new stuff to do. And I told her that we are not going to sabotage our progress.

I'm not going to sabotage our success, right? The difference is that realizing that you didn't know that learning how to work in a very structured way is allowing you to progress. So therefore, you did whatever in the past and you felt that it was normal. But I'm telling you that it was not normal. And what's normal is right now, in which you are clear on your job responsibilities. You're able to meet expectations, deliver your performance goals, and make sure that

your boss knows exactly what you're doing and give you good feedback. So you've achieved all of that. Then now we can plan forward. And now she feels that she has extra time because we have actually changed the way that she's working in a more positive way.

And that is really, really important. So I told her that this needs to be your new reality because this is reality. You don't have to be working late to be considered working effectively to be delivering results. You don't have to be working late to be considered working effectively, to be delivering results. You don't have to do that. And this was also a lesson that I learned when I was younger. Like I would say between 21 to 25, I'm working late all the time.

I didn't understand what the heck's going on. But in my late twenties, I learned that, okay, you know what? I need the more structured way of working. And that's how I'm still able to deliver huge results within the same amount of time. And that is also something that eventually inspired me to create The Corporate Survivor because I realized that I have been doing all these things in my career and other people want to learn them too.

The lesson I want to point out here is really thinking about what normal is and really challenge your reality and your assumptions of whether is this normal thing that I, I mean, is this thing that's normal that I think is normal is it actually normal or is this I'm lacking certain insights and specifically for that medical practitioner I told you about that I you know I went to seek a consultation and got some feedback it was it was really interesting

because it kind of like challenged my reality and in a way it was mind-blowing because it's something that I didn't know if you think about it sometimes we feel stuck and we feel that we know it but you know there's this gap of like it's like we feel that we have the answers but something is still not clicking there's just that one thing that makes you keep thinking that hmm I kind of get it but I still feel something is missing. And that missing part could be the specific knowledge or insights that is that you just don't know what you don't know. So that's why when I spoke to this like medical practitioner, when he pointed out that, oh, you know, maybe you're actually genetically anemic. And can you recall that when you're young,

all these symptoms you have experienced, I'm like, oh, okay. Like I got it. but like it was that moment that you know my mind was expanded and now i'm looking at um possibilities i'm looking at reflection i'm actually thinking a little bit deeper as like why things are happening it's happening because i'm just lacking certain knowledge that i didn't know how to fix it because i didn't know what was broken in the first place and the only time that i'm i realized it is when that it was a crazy blowout already and it it could be the same in your career as well. You may feel that like, okay, you know, I'm working hard, all these things is supposedly normal. And you feel that maybe you can improve, maybe things can get better, but you don't know how, and you feel like something is missing, right? You don't know where to look up for it. But, and then, you know, months later, or maybe years later,

there's like a whole crazy blowout. Maybe you got fired, maybe you got terminated, or, you know, months later or maybe years later, there's like a whole crazy blowout. Maybe you got fired. Maybe you got terminated or, you know, suddenly your boss gave you a negative feedback that you did not expect. Maybe you, you know, you got into like a big clash with the client or you didn't get promoted. Some other big stuff like, like big, you know, career milestones,

or you didn't get the salary increment, all those things. And you can't quite figure out as to what happened. So essentially what happened is not that, you know, it was at the moment that, you know, something didn't happen. It was, there was a progression of getting there but you didn't realize it and that was how I felt too with regards to my life I mean you know in a way for my career I think I kind of figured it out a lot earlier in my career particularly in my early 20s

so therefore in my late 20s and in my in my early 30s before I transitioned into career coaching when I was in the corporate world, when I was in banking and consulting, I didn't feel it as much because I think I kind of like figured it out from a career standpoint.

But for you, you may want to think about it that way. Like, does it make sense? Like, are you missing certain knowledge, like certain insights or maybe the way

that you're working is not structured enough? And usually these are like the foundational issues, right? The insights, the experiences that will kind of give you that clear, that kind of clarity of what's missing

so we can actually fix it. So talking about youth and talking about experiences, the next thing that is, I think it's the biggest difference when you're in your 20s versus your 30s is enthusiasm versus experience. I think when you're young, and particularly when I was a fresh graduate,

I was really young, I felt that enthusiasm was everything. As long as I'm hardworking, as long as I'm willing to do the thing, as long as I stay motivated, as long as I've been willing to work hard, as long as I'm willing to put in the hours, as long as I am positive,

everything will be okay. So that was me in my early 20s. But maybe in my late 20s and like my 30s, I value experiences so much more because when you're young, when you're in your 20s, I mean, that was me in my 20s, right? It was kind of coming from a space of hope. I didn't really know what my interests are. I didn't really know what my skills would be. I mean, experiences, you know, it's still early days in my young career. So it's kind of like in a situation of hoping, okay, you know, if I'm just going to do this,

then I hope you'll be okay. I think you'll be okay. So, but it's kind of coming from a place of a little bit uncertain, but you're hopeful, you're enthusiastic. You'll be like, okay, you know, I'm hoping, right? This will be okay. However, when you are a little bit older,

when you have more experiences, when you learn how, you know, what it actually takes to navigate the corporate world, what it takes to be successful, the kind of insights, knowledge and job, you want to know. It's not hope. Knowing that you will be successful because you have a clear structure on how to start your job in the first 30 days, 60 days, 90 days. How to actually communicate with different people.

How to make sure that you don't get misunderstood. How to be productive while still enjoying work-life balance. How to work efficiently as well as effectively to deliver results,

meeting your KPIs and to grow your career. These are things that you should know, right? Not hoping is knowing. Of course, there will be times where you still need to apply, right? Because different environments, different people,

there are still certain nuances that you need to focus on to adapt in every company, every role for sure. But what I'm trying to say here is knowing, knowing that because you have experiences, you know the right structure to start have experiences, you know, the right

structure to start your role. You know, you have the right corporate world insights, then things will, will be okay. Things will be okay. It's no longer the feeling of like, well, you know, maybe I will try and see how it goes. No, it's knowing that I can make it a success. So I think that to me, this is really the biggest difference because the point that I felt that I'm in control of my career is when I transitioned from hoping into knowing and to develop, to continue to develop the knowing, which is continue to develop my understanding of the corporate world, the corporate culture, what it takes to truly understand different people, different communication styles, how to work more efficiently, how to make sure that I can deliver results, how to make sure that I can speak up, how to make sure I'm visible. All these things are not magic. All these things that you can learn,

for sure, the earlier that you learn it, the better. However, even if you're in your late 20s and late 30s, it's not too late because you have 20 or 30 years more to go in your career. And if you're listening to this podcast right now, you have 20 or 30 years to go, okay? Mayping also has 20 or 30 years more to go. So we're being very practical and very realistic here in which the time that you take to learn all these skills or all the structure,

whether you're in my program, The Corporate Survivor, or you're listening to this podcast itself, right? You are investing time to improve the next 20 or 30 years in your career. And that is a good investment of time. That is a good investment of energy.

You need to think about it this way. Otherwise, it's going to be a situation where we're always trying to look for some, you know, last minute solution that doesn't quite work out. And then you wonder why you are, you know, facing anxiety all the time. And, you know, I don't want that for you because at the end of the day, it's not going to be helpful. And I'm here to give you guys the long-term solution. Yeah, it's not, it's not fun. Like, you know, it's it's not fun. It's not the fun stuff. It's not the fancy stuff. It's not the dancing stuff that you see on social media. It's not. However, it's the real stuff, right? And if you're here, it tells me that you care and you want to know

the real stuff. And talking about the real stuff and talking about being very young, I kind of find it kind of interesting. And given that it was my birthday over the weekend, I was reminded of a situation when I was working in banking i think that was um when i was in my late 20s i was in working in banking so i was working in regulatory compliance and in that world it's very male dominated there are a lot of very senior people because i was working on a strategic project and i remember that i consistently got comments such as oh mayping you are too young oh you are mayping oh i didn't know that you were the one who was giving us um a guidance and advice right through emails you know when people meet me face to face particularly in the banking world

they're like oh you are younger than you know uh you're younger than what we thought you know we are taught we thought that you must you are in, you know, 30s or 40s or whatever. So aside from that, it kind of, it's kind of interesting because the comment that I've always gotten throughout my career is that maybe you are too young.

And I had a colleague once who told me that, oh, maybe you look like a 12 year old or you sound like a 12 year old. And there were also people who thought that I was my boss's secretary because I look so young.

Because they are ignorant, for sure. But more importantly, I think it's my reaction towards it. Obviously, initially, I was really annoyed because it's like, what the heck, right? It's rude, for sure. However, I recognize that I can't change the culture, but I can change how I react towards it. And I work harder.

I'm very focused on delivering my goals. And eventually you gain respect. And eventually I gain respect. And these comments started going away because I'm very sure on what I can do. And no matter what other people say, I know that I can do it. So gradually people will recognize that people will see that in you. People will see that, you know, what you're doing, you you know what you're talking about, you have the knowledge, you have the experiences, it doesn't matter how young you are. But the thing is that you need to make sure that it doesn't get into your own head. Because if you start telling yourself, oh, I can't do this because I'm too young, I can't do this because I'm too old, you know, it's not the right time,

it's really past my prime. All these are things that you're telling yourself. It's not true, right? Because if you want to overcome it, I can teach you how. And I teach that to my clients in my career program, in our group mentoring calls, in our one-on-one coaching calls. We talk about that all the time.

But what makes the difference is the desire. Because if you're the person who is, well, I think it's not going to work out anymore. Can you give me a guarantee? What about this? And what about that?

Then that tells me that you don't have conviction. And if you don't believe in yourself, then how can someone else believe in you? Whether it's not going to work out anymore. Can you give me a guarantee? What about this? And what about that? Then that tells me that you don't have conviction. And if you don't believe in yourself, then how can someone else believe in you? Whether it's Meping believe in you or whether it's your boss or your colleagues and your new employer, you're not going to be able to transition that, to express that, right?

You won't be able to pass that energy and that conviction across because you don't believe in yourself. So you want to be the person that think about the longer term of your career, right? If you're going to behave wishy-washy like this, right? I mean, it's fine. I mean, in your 20s,

you can behave wishy-washy. You can try things all the time. It doesn't work out. Never mind. Let's just run away, do something else. Sure. But when you're in your 30s, right? You have commitments, right?

We're not as energetic as our 20s anymore. You have commitments. You probably have a house. You're renting somewhere. You own a house. You have a car. You know, your parents are getting older. Your kids, right? Your kids are also growing up, right? Then there's your partner. There's all these other things, right? More commitments, more lives, holidays, your commitments, your bills, everything else. It's the time of your life where we don't need so much chaos, okay? So the more clarity that you can have in terms of handling your career, you'll notice that your life feels easier, right? The other parts of your life feels like it's more smooth sailing. It feels lighter,

right? You feel more relaxed, right? Because if you're still struggling and stressed out and feel so uncertain and your whole career is in a freaking chaos in your 30s then your life is is going to be way more chaotic because it's no longer a situation where maybe you just want to quit yeah maybe in your 20s if you don't have any commitments like you can just quit whatever but you're in your 30s it's going to be a very different game and eventually you might end up feeling stuck and that's not a very good feeling so therefore i think it's still really really important and very valuable to set your career's foundation not a very good feeling. So therefore, I think it's still really, really important and very valuable to set your career's foundation in a very, very clear manner. So if you're feeling anxious

at your job, you're feeling lost, you're feeling overwhelmed, you feel like you're doing a good job, but your boss is telling you you're not doing a good job, you recently got fired,

whatever the reason is, whatever the struggles are, you need to remember that the best time to fix it is in your 20s, if not in your 30s. Because you have another 10, 20, or even 30 years to go. And you don't want to be in this situation right now.

Because, you know, just to talk about what I said at the beginning of this episode, in which your 30s is not going to be the same as your 20s, right? If you feel that your 20s is going to be disastrous, then you better make sure that it doesn't translate into your 30s. And if you're in your 30s right now, you feel that your 30s is going to be a disaster, then I don't want to imagine what's going to happen in your 40s. And if you're in your 30s right now, you feel that your 30s is going to be a disaster, then I don't want to imagine

what's going to happen in your 40s because that time, you know, we are getting older. Energy is lower, right? Passion, motivation, definitely lower for sure. So, you know, don't put yourself in that kind of situation. So set yourself up for success. I think that's always, always my reminder.

It doesn't matter how old you are, but you just need to know that with time, with the years, your life will change, your career motivations, your energy will also change and that will affect how much you still want to give, how much more energy that you have,

how much more conviction, commitment that you can give. And you just want to make sure that you have a, yeah, you have work-life balance, right? You are pursuing things that make sense for you. You have time for your family,

for your kids, for your parents, and to actually live your life for yourself. And I think that's super duper important. And as I said, at the earlier part of this episode as well, all decisions that you make in the earlier part of your life, earlier part of your career,

there will be consequences later, right? If you don't see the consequences immediately or within a few months, then the consequences will come in the next few years. So in life, if you don't take care of yourself, then the funny stuff will come later for sure. But in your career, if you don't fix what's broken, then more problems will come later on. And at that time, it's probably going to be more difficult to fix it because as you get older, the ego is going to be there, right? The frustration is going to be there.

The life commitments are going to be there. It's going to be way more difficult. So therefore, what I found really helpful is to always be ready to reflect, to want to look at the big picture, to want to understand the root cause and to want to implement some structure, right? Because to know that you have the right steps to overcome any challenges, right? To start the job right, to overcome any drama, to learn how to talk to people,

to learn how to communicate well, to learn how to work productively so you can meet performance goals while enjoying work-life balance. I think these are skills that will never go away. It will go with you forever. And the faster you can learn it, then the better it is. Because your 30s should be way better than your 20s. And I hope that your 40s is going to be way better than your 30s as well. So last reminder, your work and your life, like your work is not your life. However, work is a very important part of your life. So you want to make sure that you have your work under control. Under control, it's clear. You feel like it's fine.

Then you will enjoy your life. So don't make it the other way around because what's the point? Like, oh, why are we working so hard? Right, it's to make sure that we can provide for ourselves and our families. And the best way is to make sure that we have things under control and you can definitely do it as well. With that, this is a bit of a slightly longer episode, but I hope that you found some of these

lessons insightful, interesting. I'd love to hear from you if you're watching on YouTube. Drop me a comment in the comment section below and tell me what's the big difference that you see in your 20s and your 30s. And if you're in your 20s right now, are you looking forward to your 30s? And if you're in your 30s right now or 40s right now, tell me, you know, what do you miss the most in your 20s? I'd love to hear from you. Drop it in the comment section below. And if you want to catch up on all the past episodes of Corporate Survivor Podcast, you can go to www.mayping.com and check out the entire blog. And if you want to learn more from me, you can download the free career growth guide and training that you can also find

at www.mayping.com. So with that, I wish you all the best and I hope that you will make the most of your next 12 months. See you. Bye.