Corporate Survivor with Mei Phing : Career Growth In The Corporate World - Ep208: How to stop feeling not good enough (Start believing in yourself!)

Episode Date: April 10, 2024

✅ Watch FREE WORKSHOP, newsletter, work with me ⮕ http://www.meiphing.com ✅ Corporate Survivor™ is the ultimate career course for 9-to-5 working professionals, just like *you*, who want to enhance corporate world mindset, skillset and strategy so you can NAVIGATE + GROW your career with clarity, confidence & opportunities... 🚀 ⚡ 📌 ABOUT THIS PODCAST: Welcome to Corporate Survivor with Mei Phing — ex-Corporate Leader turned Career Coach & Founder of The Corporate Survivor™. On this podcast, Mei Phing shares her corporate world insights, experiences and wisdom so you can grow your 9-5 career with clarity, confidence and opportunities. ✅ WEBSITE ⮕ https://www.meiphing.com ✅ FREE GUIDE ⮕ https://www.thecorporatesurvivor.co/freeguide ✅ NEWSLETTER ⮕ https://www.thecorporatesurvivor.co/mondays ✅ CAREER COURSE ⮕ https://www.thecorporatesurvivor.co ⚡

Welcome to the Corporate Survivor Podcast, where we talk about how to grow your career confidence, build your skills and value, increase your salary, and the many lessons we learn in the corporate world. For more career support, click on over to www.mayping.com. This is Mayping, your corporate leader turned career coach. I hope you enjoy, like and subscribe. I don't feel good enough. I feel I'm incompetent. I have imposter syndrome.

What if people find out I'm a fraud? Regardless of where you are in your career journey right now, whether you're a fresh graduate, whether you're executive, you're a manager or director, do you feel not good enough? And you know what's actually really funny because I can tell you that the person that I am today, the Mayping today,

is not the same fresh graduate Mayping like 15 years ago. It's not. It's also not the executive level Mayping that only had like one to two years of experience. It's not, right? And if you even look at like, if you have been my client

or you have actually worked with me two to three years ago and i think you can also say that you know the the mapping today is not the mapping from before and the reality is that feeling not good enough right i sometimes think that it's like we should all feel not good enough. If you're going for, if you're trying to do new things, if you're trying to do bigger things, if you're trying to do things that your friends, family and peers, they cannot understand

because they are like, hey, why do you want to do so well in your career? Why do you want to work so hard? Like, what is the point? And it creates self-doubt because when you go and talk to people around you, they're like, what the heck, right? Why do you bother, right?

There's no point. So I think for me, throughout my whole career journey, feeling not good enough whenever I try new things, for sure. Like my first job, I didn't feel good enough because it took six months to get a first job because of the financial crisis. And I can tell you that that was really the time that I felt really, really, really terrible. Because when I completed my studies and I actually did really well in my course. So I was actually the world prize winner for ACCA, which is a professional accountancy course. Now, the big mistake I think I made at that time

was that I actually didn't apply for any job before I completed my certification. So what I did was that, well, okay, let's graduate. Then, you know, I went to do an internship for three months in an events management company. I mean, it was fun, but what I didn't realize at that time was like, hey, everyone already found a job.

And the moment that I completed my internship, I realized that no one is hiring anymore. And when I say headcount freeze, I really mean headcount freeze. I don't think up to today we have had like the same scenario of the financial crisis in 08 and 09. So what happened was that time, I actually struggled to find a job. And the worst thing was, you know, when I graduated, right, we studied, you know, there's always like a group of like peers, right, when we studied together. And everyone I knew already found a job in a much better company. And I did so much better than everyone in school but I didn't I couldn't find a job so you know the the level of like embarrassment and the level of not good enough

I don't feel that even up to today right I've actually felt that level of embarrassment again and the level of not good enough again and And I think that that happened because I actually experienced it at 20 years old, which is a horrifying thing. So the feelings of like not good enough, right? To me at that time, it was the worst feeling. It was the worst feeling. And even when I started my first job, I still felt it was really, really embarrassing. And the worst thing is that I had like some people asking around, say that, hey, actually, you know, where's Mei Ping working right now? Like what's going on, right? I thought she did really well in school.

I feel like at that time, my ego, EGO, really couldn't accept it, right? And that was the time I really felt not good enough, like for a long time, for a long time, every day. And I can tell you that it's not a good feeling. It's not a good feeling. And I think that it gave me a realization that, okay, we tend to compare

and we kind of like have a certain expectation of how things are supposed to be. Then sometimes, right, when there's a setback, it feels very annoying. It feels like, you know, I'm undeserving of this setback. But I think for me, I don't know whether

we could say that it's a blessing in disguise or not. But I think for me at that time, being 20 years old and realizing that, oh, actually paper education is just paper education. Even though I was top in class

and I got all these awards and everything, if it's the financial crisis and there's a headcount freeze, there's nothing that MAPIN can do anything about. And the fact is that I still had to be brave and just take up the role that was available

and also, you know, make the most out of it. So I think the feelings of not good enough really solidified during that time. But again, right, I think I started in that role. Obviously, you know, being a new job and I already went in with the mindset of like, oh, I'm such a loser. I couldn't get into a better company like all my peers have. I got stuck in a really, really small company and I was underpaid.

I was only paid like 300 USD. So I think the feelings of not good enough was like really, really high at that time. And then coupled with the fact that the transitioning from university to the working world, which was very, very shocking for me. So I'd say that the first few months in that company was the worst time ever, the worst time, worst time ever. And like I said, you know, I don't know whether it's, it's fair to say it's like kind of like a blessing in disguise that I experienced this really, really young. And since then, since that time, after maybe about six months, I sort of like reflected and I decided that this is not going to be my reality. This is not going to be my reality.

I don't want to stay here for another 10 years because I looked around and I looked at everyone there and I felt that everyone is just comfortable working in a very small company doing the exact same thing for years and I felt that there was a mindset barrier for myself to think that oh since I graduated I couldn't really get any other company then I should just stay here because that's the level that I can only get until one one day, I did realize that, okay, maybe it's a mindset problem because as I look around, I felt that I don't want to be here and I feel like I can try again.

So sometimes it's not just the next steps, right? I feel that it's very powerful, but I think the moment you decide, the moment you decide that I don't want to be here anymore, this is not like my whole world. This is not going to be my reality for the next three years, the next five years.

And I think that at the point that you make that decision, actually, that's the point that you are the most courageous. You are the most powerful. Because even though you have not taken that immediate step yet, but inside you, right, it's like a transformation has already happened. So at that point that I decided that like, hey, no, this is not going to be my reality. I need to move on and I'm going to try. And I felt that after that, going to work, I didn't feel so miserable anymore. I didn't feel stuck. I didn't feel like this is going to be my forever reality.

Every day is going to be like, okay, I'm going to do whatever that's required of me in this role. But in my mind, I'm looking to the future. And I think that is the inner motivation that I didn't need anyone else to motivate me because I have thought about it. I've processed it. And I'm like, I don't really want else to motivate me because I have thought about it. I've processed it. And I'm like,

I don't really want to be here anymore. So I think that kind of like gives me a lot of inspiration to make the move. And that's why I think even in the corporate survivor itself, we spend a lot of time talking about career clarity,

talking about the roles that you really want and that you're willing to commit. Because I think that's how I've always thought about it it's like if we want to do it then we we do it and sometimes is that is that inner decision of saying that i'm gonna give it a try and i'm actually going to take action because the the idea of like thinking of it again and again it's like oh i want to do this or should i do this should i do that right the time that you take to think right without doing anything actually that's a lot of mental energy and i felt that the more um i did that that's how i kind of

got stuck in the first few months doing nothing and continuously being miserable so the idea of like not being good enough right i think every time you try a new thing it's the same thing it's like every time you join a new company every time you even take on a new project right just just think of like um the time that maybe you just got assigned a new piece of work or a new piece of task there's always a certain level of hey i don't know what i'm doing and i think it's very normal but deciding deciding that you want to know what to do, which is when you are going to take action, you're going to learn,

you're going to dig out the past papers, you're going to dig out the policy procedure, you're going to ask people. Actually, it starts from deciding. I've actually found that, I mean, I know it sounds like a very simple answer, but sometimes it's decide. It's actually deciding.

And that's why, you know, in the Corporate Survivor Program, I always share different perspectives with you because i always believe that if you just have an extra bit of perspective it can help you be more convicted in the decision that you know you're going to make but somehow somehow right before you made the decision you're like i don't, maybe what if I fail and everything. Sometimes maybe it's because we lack certain perspectives, we lack certain information. So once you have all the information,

you ask yourself, what is worth it and what is not worth it, then I think it's actually deciding. Once you decide, then you will take action. The worst place to stay in is actually indecision,

which is to not decide to not decide so i give you some more examples so um the point that i decided to to quit the small company right actually i got an interview um with ernst and young singapore it was within 24 hours so i got a call and they're like hey miping um can you come for the interview tomorrow it's at like two o'clock obviously it's in Singapore I was in Penang at that time so they're like hey can you come so I said yes

even though I didn't know how to get there I didn't know I haven't traveled internationally myself and everything but you see right in my mind right

the moment I made the decision then I think the rest of it I could figure it out and like that's when you know I started exploring like how do I actually get rest of it, I could figure it out. And that's when I started exploring, how do I actually get to Singapore? What flights can I take? What should I pack? Where should I stay?

All the stuff, all the how to do it, it kind of came later. It kind of came later. But I think the first thing is actually deciding that, okay, this is what I want. So it's the same as well. When I left Ernst & Young,

I joined Visa, visa right many people also asked me and at that point i also had questions to myself i'm like hey you know to transition to another role can i succeed what if i fail what if i fail but then i always i always ask myself like do i feel happy in the current situation now if i were to stay for the next three years? And I've always, always asked myself, if I were to stay, right, in the next three years, will I be happy or will my work performance become worse? Because sometimes when you're already not interested, you feel like you don't want to be here,

but you choose to stay here because you're afraid of the next step, right? It does impact your performance. It's not immediately, not in the next two months, but it will gradually eat into your performance, right? Eventually, things will just get worse. So I'm also the kind of person that I want to be challenged in a way, like a good kind of challenge to do new things,

to deliver my goals and you know to find new opportunities so for me knowing that if i were to just stay on because i'm afraid things will just become worse so i decided to move so you notice that in this story i use the word decide a lot because i think that the real power the real personal power is in the courage to make a decision. To make a decision. And sometimes, right, it's kind of interesting. So if you look at the people around you, right, you will notice that a lot of people dare not make a decision.

So what do they do? They go online. They ask a lot of people. They ask their friends, family, neighbors, even the people who have no idea what to do with their career, right? They ask everyone. Then they research. They ask a lot of questions.

They come to Mayping all the time on Instagram. Mayping, what about this? Mayping, what about that? What about that? Even though I gave guidance, but sometimes they don't take action. Actually, have you ever wondered why? And I can actually tell you why.

It's because, right, they don't believe in themselves. They don't believe that they have the courage to make a decision. They don't believe that they are brave enough to deal with the consequences, whether it's good or bad. They are also not brave enough to potentially face the failure. But most of the time, they are actually not brave enough to dream of success. So if you ever find yourself struggling to make a decision,

it's actually about why. Why? What are you afraid of? Because I can tell you that the moment I made the decision to quit, the moment I made the decision that, hey, this is the next role that I want, then I'm going to learn the how.

The how is actually the easy part. The how is like snap of the finger. But the thing between your two ears actually is the most important thing. I think that whatever career level that you are at, right, there needs to be a certain level of like self-leadership.

You know who are the people who are like always wishy-washy all the time? It's actually people who like don't have self-leadership. You know who are the people who are like always wishy-washy all the time? It's actually people who don't have self-leadership, meaning that you have no confidence to make a decision. Even though you ask everyone already,

but you haven't made a decision. That's a leadership issue. That's like a personal power, personal leadership issue. Even in today's session, we talk about career a lot. But I also hope that you take away, you take away the life perspectives,

like the way of seeing things that you can apply in your work, in your career, in your job search, in everything else. Because, you know, it's becoming that person. It's becoming that person.

That's why I said, you know, the Mayping today is not the fresh graduate 15 years ago. It's becoming that person. That's why I said, you know, the Mayping today is not the fresh graduate 15 years ago. It's not even the manager 10 years ago. Right? It's not the senior director

like five years ago. We are always evolving. Even the way I talk, the way I think, the way I feel, I'm always evolving. And you can too. You can too.

It's like setting the vision, deciding, and then taking action.