Corporate Survivor with Mei Phing : Career Growth In The Corporate World - Ep48: 10 big life lessons I learned in 2020.

Episode Date: December 22, 2020

✅ Get My FREE '5-Day Career Growth' Guide + Training 👉 http://www.meiphing.com ✅ Grow your career in the 9-5 corporate world with clarity, confidence and opportunities! ⚡ 👋 Welcome to the Corporate Survivor with Mei Phing — corporate career coach, ex-corporate leader who has led multimillion-dollar projects across 43 countries and creator of the ultimate career course for 9-5 professionals, The Corporate Survivor™. On this podcast, you'll learn how to grow your career in the corporate world without getting stuck with Mei Phing's 3-step framework to gain career clarity, improve work confidence and attract new job opportunities. ✅ WEBSITE ⮕ https://www.meiphing.com ✅ FREE GUIDE ⮕ https://www.thecorporatesurvivor.co/5days ✅ COURSE & COACHING ⮕ https://www.thecorporatesurvivor.co ⚡ 📌 ABOUT MEI PHING: Mei Phing Lim is a Professional Career Coach and former Corporate Leader in the financial services and consulting industries. Mei Phing went from a shy quiet introvert to leading multimillion-dollar projects with teams from over 43 countries as the Senior Director and Head of Governance at Standard Chartered, and now teaching 9-5 professionals how to navigate the corporate world and grow their careers with her career coaching course, The Corporate Survivor™. Mei Phing has been featured as a LinkedIn Top Voice 2023, sharing expert career advice in guiding young professionals to plan, navigate and grow their careers. Mei Phing is a keynote speaker on corporate culture, work performance and career growth, and sharing perspectives on what truly takes to build a strategic and successful career without getting stuck. ✅ LEARN MORE: https://www.meiphing.com

Welcome to the Corporate Survivor Podcast, where we talk about how to grow your career confidence, build your skills and value, increase your salary, and the many lessons we learn in the corporate world. For more career support, click on over to www.mayping.com. This is Mayping, your corporate leader turned career coach. I hope you enjoy, like and subscribe. Hi, welcome to Got a Ping, a careers podcast you should listen to if you want to grow your career online and offline. Hi, my name is Mei Ping.

I'm a professional career coach and international speaker with more than a decade of experience at some of the biggest companies in the world. So welcome to my podcast. If this is your first time listening to me, welcome. We are at episode 48 already, so really, really quickly moved on in this year. And if you've been listening for some time, welcome back. I really appreciate all your support. You may notice that today's introduction is a little bit different from the ones that you have heard before. It is because I'm actually making some changes to just generally how my podcast would sound next year.

So appreciate your patience. This is also the first time I am recording a video as part of my podcast process. So you can actually watch the video version of it on YouTube. But if you prefer Spotify and every other places podcasters found, feel free to continue to check out those episodes. So again, welcome to today's episode, episode 48. And this is going to be a two-part series on my year 2020 recap and reflections. So what we are going to talk about today pretty much is a LinkedIn post that I published a little bit earlier on the top 10 lessons I learned this year, right? So that's really the top 10 lessons. So throughout this video, I may be looking towards the left a little bit. That's

because I'm just looking at the post that I published a little bit earlier today. Yeah, so let's jump right into it. So the first thing, first thing that I learned this year really is that there is no perfect time to start something. And guess what? You are going to suck or 90% going to suck the first time, yeah, basically your first attempt is not going to be perfect, right? But more importantly, if it's really important, then you should really begin. So some examples I can share, you know, 1st January 2020, so that's really the first day of the year. This year, I decided that I am going to do a video so if you guys have been following me for some time you may know that I am a really proud introvert I don't do anything that is on screen right so it was really really scary um I did record the video I think I took like 10 or 20

takes to get that like perfect acceptable video for me to publish on LinkedIn so that was like my first video ever it was it was bad I challenge you, if you can find it, please find it and burn it. But then again, I felt that if I did not get started on that first step, then I don't think I will be able to do any of the masterclasses, any of the workshops, any of the events that I've been doing right now. And even the first time I decided to start this podcast, right, it was in February of this year. And I didn't really have a plan. I just thought that wouldn't it be fun to just, you know,

record some of my thoughts because I share a lot of my insights and stuff with people every day. So I thought, okay, why not just record it? Because I think more people can really benefit from it. So, yeah, so I thought okay why not just record it because I think more people can really benefit from it so um yeah so I just got started and people have been very curious about how I run my podcast so just so you guys know I don't actually have a script um so it's really free flow I'm trying to get more structure around it but it's not been happening um it's really free flow and I actually record it on my iPhone 7. So if you guys are

watching my video right now, this is my very old phone that I used to record my podcast episodes on. So the audio is not great, but like I said, if it's important enough, then you will just get started. So that was how I felt in my first video, my first post, my first podcast, the first time I did a talk, the first time I did a talk, the first time I did a training, the first time I was a keynote speaker. There is a first time for everything. And it's okay. It's okay. The thing is that if you want it, if it's important enough, then do it. If it's not important enough, then you're definitely going to procrastinate. Okay, moving on to the second thing I learned this year. friends and family are the most difficult

people to convince with your crazy ideas and I found it to be absolutely true so for you guys who have been following my journey a little bit you will know that this is really my first year transitioning into career coaching family reasons I'll share a little bit more about that later my first year actually you know as a business owner as a founder of my own company and so forth and I have found that sometimes I find that the community believes in me a lot more than friends and family that there tends to be a lot of question marks and concerns on a new career direction or a new project or a new business idea.

And I guess that is really normal because, you know, your friends and family, they know you a little bit better. They tend to care for you a little bit more. But then again, they might not see your vision. So if you feel like you have a very strong vision, you know what you want, and you've actually thought it through, then I would really encourage you to believe in yourself. But once you make that choice,

then take it onto yourself to prove it to your friends and family that you are actually taking it seriously and that they can trust that you know what you are doing, right? So that's really like the second lesson that I learned this year, which is get approval from yourself first. Like don't look to external validation.

You know, believe in yourself, know what you're capable of, know what value that you can bring in the world, how you can help other people. And then over time, your friends and family, they will come on board, but it will take a little bit of time. Okay, so moving on to the third lesson I learned this year. If you're procrastinating, you're either afraid of the outcome or you don't believe in the work enough to do it. So I found this really common. Like there are some days I wake up, I just don't feel like doing anything.

I'm extremely unproductive. It's not that I don't have time. It's just that I feel like I, you know, it's rather, let me put it this way. I don't feel like doing it. Right. So how many of you, you know, have that kind of feeling that even if you're energetic, you just don't feel like doing something? So I think the question here is like, why? So I've given it some thought and obviously I work with a lot of working professionals

as my clients as well. So this is something that I hear quite common and really it comes down to two things, right? Number one, you're maybe afraid of the outcome, right? So you feel like if you're going to do it and you're going to fail, so why do it? It's going to be hurtful. It's going to be demotivating. It's just going to be really annoying.

So sometimes you may choose not to do it because you feel like the outcome is not going to be a positive one. So a lot of it, I think, comes from fear. So secondly, I think the other really, the second reason is because you don't really believe in it enough so if you're doing it for the sake of doing it then you will procrastinate because you don't if you don't care then like what really motivates you to want to do something is you know you'll probably leave it till to the last minute or you try to delegate it to someone else and like

just not bother at all so ask yourself right if you figure out what you want is it are you afraid because if you're afraid right you know we can do some mindset work right you can there could be more perspective you can gain skills right gain expertise experience and that that can be overcome but if you don't believe in what you do that i think you really need to take a step back and figure out like okay let's say you don't like your job right you feel like your job every day is a pain then i think maybe you need some career clarity to rethink about like you know your interest your direction and where are you going and you know what kind of job you can actually do well right so i think it really depends i mean it's very personal okay so the

fourth lesson uh stop comparing yourself with other people because you are not them. But if they're good at something and that's somebody that you admire, then I think you can pick up a skill. So nowadays, I spend a lot more time on social media. And I think, you know, just the nature of social media

is that you tend to compare yourself against other people's stuff. So I would tend to look at my own content and I'll compare it some of the else's like if it's a podcast I'm like okay this podcast sucks maybe somebody else's is better right somebody else's is more engaging than me or they write better they take better pictures they put makeup blah blah blah right and I think the big realization like over the many months is that yeah yeah, I didn't believe in yourself because I have found that the stuff that I wholeheartedly share my insights,

the stuff that I really wanted to write just for myself, not bothered by what other people are doing that is cool, I think they tend to resonate with people a lot more rather than the stuff that like I'm pretty much experimenting trying to see what other people are doing and see whether I can take some inspiration from that. So I think finding yourself and knowing what you what you're good at and just keep focusing on that right stop stop comparing because maybe you're at step number 10, but somebody else might be step 50 already.

So kind of know where you are, then I think you can put a lot less pressure on yourself. Okay, so fifth one, the fifth lesson I learned this year, and I think this comes up a lot, not just for me, but for a lot of other people that I talk to, my clients, students, and so forth. If you are annoyed at somebody, it's your problem. I mean, I know this is really an unpopular opinion,

but it is really your problem because at the end of the day, like you can't change somebody else, but you can improve the way that you respond to them, the way that you deal with them. It's not easy for sure. And I think a lot of it actually boils down to like self-awareness. Sometimes like we are angry at somebody else and we don't even know why

but guess what it happens and it's really not the nicest thing for us to you know accept and realize ourselves but i think that's something really critical for our personal development and for us to really um you know focus on self-acceptance and focus on really improving ourselves and becoming a better person, you know, in your personal life, right. At work, even in your business, I think that's just a growth piece that everybody should, should really embrace that, that the problem is not always somebody else. Maybe it's just some stuff that we can change. And if you,

if you work on yourself and you still feel like nothing is changing then okay change your environment but I think there's always kind of two sides to a coin so reflection is really important reflection is really important um yeah I think also this year because of the whole coronavirus thing everybody is a little bit on the edge very agitated even I'm agitated half the time because obviously I have some family problems so um it's been very challenging for my family this year because my mom passed away uh yeah but I think you know um at the end of the day like we need to look at ourselves first before we

yeah we blame we put the blame on somebody else okay hold on right so number six lesson the sixth lesson that i learned this year this really annoys me a lot copycats are everywhere so don't let them stop you from doing what you do best you are the real original so this point really you know kind of pricks on me a little bit because if you've been following me for some time you know that i've been creating content a lot of it was from my personal experience right in the corporate world as a top performer as one of the youngest people ever get promoted however I have started noticing that people copy my stuff it is extremely annoying but there's really not much I could do about it in the past I tend to whine about it a lot um but then I realized that

okay I mean it's it's it's not helping me right and it's sometimes really evident because you I could see that like you know these people they would actually come to my profile and check out my stuff and then like one hour later they will issue something really similar to what I've written which I in the past I used to get like really, really annoyed. And I think to, to, to, till today, it's still a little bit annoying. But what I tend to tell myself is that I think these people need to get more creative and they need to have like originality. So you can't go far in life or career if you are not creative. If you're always copying somebody else, yeah, okay, you can move one step ahead ahead but you will never make leaps and bounds because you're always looking to somebody else to give you

direction to give you um to give you validation to basically copy without having that kind of like thought process creativity that you bring out from yourself so so if you find yourself copying other people um whether in life or studies or your career, I want you to take a step back and ask yourself, why are you doing that? I mean, do you really believe that you have nothing to offer, that you have to copy somebody else? And maybe you need a reflection session. All right. Okay. So let's move on to the next lesson that I learned this year. Most people want to be successful, but they are unwilling to put in the time and effort. At the end of the day, actions matter more than words.

So, you know, as a coach, right, I get a lot of people reaching out to me saying that they want all these things, right? It's very unfair. It's not fair, blah, blah, blah. They want to get promotion, right? They want their boss to like them and stuff like that. And they're very jealous of other people sometimes.

But sometimes when we discuss in more detail and say that, okay, you know, what are you willing to put in for the results that you want? And what they say they want versus what they are willing to sacrifice and put in the effort, time, dedication is really not aligned. So I'm sorry, like even for a Titanic to sail, it's like thousands and thousands of hours for people to actually build the ship, right?

And even though you like, I mean, you know, as cliche as that sounds, Rome was not built in a day. I think we all have heard this one before. So if you are really looking for like a magic secret to success i am sorry but um that's not what i believe in i believe in um the right strategy and then very focused and targeted action that can get you there in a shorter period of time but it's not with like a snap of the finger so um yeah the magic pill really doesn't really exist

if you want to have a long-term career. So if you want to like try to smoke your way or try to cheat your way, maybe you can get away a bit like once, maximum twice, but there will be a point that you will be found out. So I think it's really more important to focus on foundation and focus on real action and gaining that real skill and expertise

that you can easily transition from one job to the other one industry to the other and I've personally done it so I can definitely say 100% can be done but focus on foundation work first it's not like the most fun thing to do but it really pays reward down the road okay so number eight know where you are going so you know when i first started um this year i think i found i found myself to be quite lost because i was just looking around and saw a lot of people were doing different things and i got a lot of people who were really busy advising me what i should be doing and a lot of comments that i got was that whatever that i was doing was wrong and i was in the wrong direction.

More importantly, I think it's not about what other people think you should do, but you should really sit down and figure out what you're good at and how you're actually going to do it, right? What matters to you? Because a car that, if you have a lot of fuel in the car, but you don't have a direction, then you're going to end up nowhere. It's like that you start driving a car, but you don't really know direction, then you're going to end up nowhere. It's like that you start driving a car, but you don't really know where you're going to. There's no address that you're going to put into the GPS.

So where are you going to go? Probably nowhere, nowhere, right? So don't end up like that. So that's a big mistake that I see from a lot of people. And nowadays, I do a lot of career coaching and career consultation sessions. So this comes up a lot. And not just for fresh fresh graduates i'm talking people who have worked like 5 10 20 even 30 years it happens so um yeah avoid that if possible what you really need is just maybe

you know one two hours find a bit of clarity reflection figure out what you want to focus on and go all out set the direction even if the direction is not you know cast in stone for five years but at least you know for the next six months you know where you're going okay so number nine lesson that i learned this year your mental health matters do one thing that gives you happiness daily even if it's something small. So I think really the biggest realization for me this year, and I think not just realization, but also placing importance, is really on mental health. Because this year has been a really challenging year for me and my family.

So a little bit of a recap. So for those of you who know my story, I pretty much left my banking job last year and returned to Malaysia to care for my mom. She was ill. So I think when you're a caregiver for a family member who is extremely ill, there's a lot of pressure on yourself also, right? Because you want to appear strong for our loved ones, but you need to remember to really be strong and take care of yourself so that you can take care of your loved ones, right? So not just maybe your parents, but your spouse,

your children, right? So you don't have to like, you know, find big happiness, right? I mean, you don't have to buy a car or whatever, but like what's one small thing that you can do every day to give you a bit of happiness like for me personally i love having a cold sugary drink in the morning so that's something that i do every day because it lifts my mood up almost immediately but find what works for you because it may be different um for you and for me but just find that one small thing that could make could lift up your mood so that's really important last one so for those of you guys who just tuning in right now i'm only looking for watching this on video

i'm just looking to the left because it was the list um the top 10 list i posted on linkedin so i just want to make sure that i captured everything last one and i think the most most most important one is really to choose love and always remember that your friends and your families particularly right they really care for you even though sometimes they don't say it but your family are the people who will always always be there for you so even if you are working overseas and you're really busy like don't forget that sometimes you know your family they value the time with you not so much like the money or the material things that you can get them I still you know strongly believe that one of the best decisions I made in my life was to quit my job move back to Malaysia and pretty much spend

um months with my mom and really spend my you know her last you know spend her last days with her but I think she really valued like having me around. And I think that's really not time that I can get back. So you can make back all the money, you can buy more cars and houses and clothes or whatever, but you will never get back time with somebody that you care about, especially when the person is ill

and what they really need is attention from you, love, time, care, and so forth. So it was a decision that a lot of people couldn't really understand. And even up to today, I get asked about it a lot. But yeah, I mean, there's really, really no regrets. And I can even say that like up to her really, really last day, I was like 100% with her.

And I don't think that's something that, yeah, anybody can really take that away from you. So yeah, so pretty much that's the top 10 lessons that i learned this year i would say some are clearly more important than others i mean the list today is really in no particular order it's really in um yeah i basically wrote it whatever came to mind but yeah these are the ones that i thought you know really resonated with me the most so i thought I really wanted to share it. In the next episode, I will talk about the top 10 wins for this year as a first year career coach.

So I will be really excited to share a little bit on that. If you have not yet connected, do connect with me on LinkedIn. I'm most, most, most active on LinkedIn. Would really like to connect with you guys. Some changes that are happening next year. I'm in the process of revamping my website, mayping.com. That's M-E-I-P-H-I-N-P.com.

So change is coming in 2021. So more changes and more awesome stuff in my website. I'll be launching a weekly newsletter. So once that's up, do sign up for weekly career growth and personal development tips. In terms of my podcast, yeah, I'm really, really excited.

This is episode 40. I never have I thought that like I would do so many episodes in my podcast. So next week is going to be the last episode. So I'll wrap up season one, season one year 2020 with 49 episodes. Absolutely crazy. There's almost one episode a week, right?

So 49 episodes for season one year 2020. So if you're just tuning in right now, this is the time to binge listen or binge watch the other, the older podcast episodes. So do share your thoughts, right? Remember to like and subscribe. Really like to hear a little bit from you.

Yeah, I mean, let me know what is your biggest takeaway from today's episode or any other episodes that you have listened to in the past. I look forward to connecting with you and let's stay in touch and have an awesome, awesome time, everybody.

And I'll see you next time. Cheers. See ya.