Corporate Survivor with Mei Phing : Career Growth In The Corporate World - Ep61: How about stop complaining about work.

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to the Corporate Survivor Podcast, where we talk about how to grow your career confidence, build your skills and value, increase your salary, and the many lessons we learn in the corporate world. For more career support, click on over to www.mayping.com. This is Mayping, your corporate leader turned career coach. I hope you enjoy, like and subscribe. Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of my Got a Ping podcast, a podcast that you should listen to if you are serious about growing your corporate career. So today I want to talk about a very interesting topic that has been

Starting point is 00:00:41 really been on my mind for a really long time and it's really about why why are people spending so much time complaining on social media but not taking real action so as you guys know i do spend a lot of time on linkedin particularly which is a professional networking platform and over time i've started noticing this trend where people are posting successes which is a good thing but i'm also seeing an increasing pattern and trend of people posting about a lot of their problems and a lot of these posts right the the tone is really very negative and really steering towards complaints and um i guess helplessness for a lack of better words so um i really i understand that you know everybody is

Starting point is 00:01:33 facing um challenges right be in job search or you know problems at the workplace maybe with people right um corporate culture workload and a lot of other things so i completely understand that challenges do occur in our daily life as well as in our professional life but there's definitely one thing that i i don't quite understand up to this point is the people that have been complaining i don't really see them taking much um taking i would say tangible actions to move forward it almost feels like or rather it's at least to me it feels like they like that kind of support that they are getting from their friends their peers or their community which um i guess feels good right Because when you're feeling down, you're really feeling frustrated.

Starting point is 00:02:26 It's good to feel like people are listening to you and that your problems matter because to be honest, they do matter. So I'm not discounting the fact that your problems don't matter. They do matter. But I think what concerns me and is something that I'm seeing a lot of is people who are complaining complaining but they don't really do anything to get out of the situation that they are in and this is really really concerning to me because I'm seeing more and more people just talking about problems but really not focused

Starting point is 00:02:57 on solutions so I can actually give you guys an example as well so when I am on LinkedIn and when I see such posts and even sometimes right some of my clients are you know people who have participated in my training sometimes they themselves right try to help these people who are complaining and sometimes they also tag me in such um complainings posts and just say hey maybe you guys can like um you know connect with meping or you can check out meping's videos and podcasts for some really tangible tip you know connect with meping or you can check out meping's videos and podcasts for some really tangible you know practical tips and strategies that you can use but what i think is very interesting is that these people who are complaining they just choose to ignore and i have also personally received a lot of messages particularly in on linkedin via direct messages

Starting point is 00:03:42 from people who just spam me with all their problems and when I tell them and I say hey these are some resources that I can share with you like free resources that I can share with you like maybe I think this video or like this blog post or this podcast episode I think it's going to be something that's going to be very helpful to help you find a solution to your situation or perspective in your situation even if you're not working with me directly the concerning trend i'm seeing is that they will just ignore the free resources so in most instances i say like eight out of ten instances they will just say oh okay thanks but blah blah, blah. And then like all their problems again and again. So to me, right, this is a person who just wants to complain.

Starting point is 00:04:29 They have completely no intention of fixing their problems because if you really want to fix your problems, then when somebody gives you resources, particularly somebody like me who has worked with a lot of working professionals, junior to senior level, personally, I've seen a lot of workplace problems. I've seen a lot of working professionals junior to senior level personally i've seen a lot of workplace problems i've seen a lot of job search problems so i do know like the actual next steps that you need to take that will move you forward but people like these who reach out to me they actually don't have any intention to move forward so sometimes just by

Starting point is 00:05:01 like looking at their responses i can can already tell, okay, I actually can't help this person because guess what? They don't want to help themselves. And what I say now is probably going to be a little bit controversial, but I truly believe that you cannot help somebody who is not ready to be helped. Because trust me, I have done that so many times and I used to waste a lot of my time, energy and effort trying to help, give advice, give tips, trying to move these people in the right direction. But you know what? Nothing happens. And for some of these people, you will

Starting point is 00:05:39 notice some of the habits that they have is they consistently go to different people and ask for advice. But let me tell you now that even if you were to get advice from the best experts, people who really know what they're talking about, they really can help you. But if you are not ready to open your mind and listen to that different perspective and take action nobody can help you and personally i've also experienced some coaching clients who are in this sort of mindset but um to me there are very few of them who are actually you know clients who work with me one-on-one but i have had some of those instances as well so let me share with you guys maybe two instance of clients who have worked with me directly but actually they are not ready to get help so one instance is a client who came to me with a lot of workplace problems particularly

Starting point is 00:06:37 working relationship problems with a lot of their stakeholders And a lot of times the sessions was just about complaints. And when I give this client some perspective, they again go back complaining. And what I find is very interesting is that when this client comes back to the next session, and normally I like to ask, so what have you done since our last session? And what is very interesting

Starting point is 00:07:03 is that they completely discounted a lot of the stuff that we discussed in the last session and what is very interesting is that they completely discounted a lot of the stuff that we discussed in the last session and they decided to do what they wanted to do which is okay good for you um you can do whatever you want to do but then they come back complaining and saying that oh maybe i'm still facing these problems then when we deep dive into it and i realized that i was like okay fine a lot of the things we discussed in the last session, it looks like you didn't, you know, you didn't actually absorb them and you still chose to do what you wanted to do in the first place. Then like, how are you actually expecting things to change? So this is a very simple example of mindset blocks. So I really said this many times right you can go to the best expert

Starting point is 00:07:45 best coaches and best mentors but if you are not ready to open your mind to a different perspective then nobody can help you then i'll give you a second example as well so this is a client who has a lot of frustrations at work and she decided to find a new job right as we all know job search is not um i guess it's not that it's not an easy process it's just that like it requires a lot of perseverance and of course um positivity as well so this particular client was also very frustrated frustrating personally for me as a coach because when she came in when we were supposed to talk about job search strategies and like you know positioning herself resume updates how to like really position really about positioning value she would spend at least half the session just complaining about her existing

Starting point is 00:08:37 workplace situation and how she really really really wanted a new job i'm like okay i get i understand the goal and i understand what you're trying to escape from, which is the painful working environment. But consistently talking about what you want without doing the work required to get what you want, it's not going to get you anywhere. So these are just two very simple examples of people who say they want help,

Starting point is 00:09:07 but they are actually not ready to be helped, if that makes sense to you guys. So the lesson I really want to try to convey here is that only seek for help when you are ready to recognize a problem, that you have an issue and you are ready now to go to someone else and get a new perspective. Because if you are not ready to do that, then guess what? Just continue doing the research on your own, continue watching YouTube videos and whatsoever. I think that's fine because you are not ready to speak to somebody else. That's okay. But I think the moment you choose to step out and just say, hey, i have done enough research i have been dwelling in my own problems for long enough time and now i think i need to go and talk

Starting point is 00:09:51 to an expert then you need to first open your mind because you know constantly complaining on social media complaining to a mentor complaining to a coach or complaining to a friend family expert whoever you're actually not moving forward in fact i think you are moving backwards because complaining to a coach or complaining to a friend, family, expert, whoever, you're actually not moving forward. In fact, I think you are moving backwards because you are dwelling in that negativity and problems by talking about it again and again and again without moving forward. So instead, in fact, you're actually digging that hole, the black hole even deeper,

Starting point is 00:10:21 which is personally not really good for your mental health in the long term, as well as will not allow you to have that kind of like hope and strategy that you need to move forward with, with whatever goal that you have set in your professional or personal life. So before we end this episode, I would actually recommend some resources for you guys to check out. So if you haven't really checked out a

Starting point is 00:10:45 lot of my career tips and strategies um i suggest you check out some of those that you can find in my podcast on my channel but there's definitely one that i would highly recommend and that is my ping method my ping coaching method which is the p-h-i-n-g method where i go through in a proper framework what i normally recommend to my clients and how I work with my clients very directly as well. So P, understanding your personality. H, hacking your mindset, being open to a new perspective. I, ideas, what are some of the new things that you are willing to try and start taking baby steps. N, navigating complexities, people, problems, drama that you need to deal with and actually how to come out winning and finally g that is go getter which is taking consistent

Starting point is 00:11:32 action forward so if you haven't checked out my my episodes on my ping method or my ping coaching strategy make sure that you check those out because i think that framework or rather roadmap or strategy is going to be something that's really important to help you step by step to be able to move forward instead of just complaining so that is definitely what i would recommend if you really want to start taking actions forward so with that i'll end this episode and i hope that this episode has also inspired as well as empowered you to start taking real actions to solve problems in your personal or professional life so with that i'll see you guys in the next episode bye

Corporate Survivor with Mei Phing : Career Growth In The Corporate World - Ep61: How about stop complaining about work.

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