Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew - 02 Arguments

Episode Date: January 8, 2020

Episode 2 of Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew! We asked you recommend topics you wanted us to talk about on the show, and this was one of the most popular... arguments. Andrew and I sit down to talk about some of our most ridiculous arguments, but also share how we try to approach and work through arguments. If you haven't yet, please rate and subscribe to the show to hear more! And if you have suggestions/recommendations for the show, share using the following link! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you're with Amex Platinum, you get access to exclusive dining experiences and an annual travel credit. So the best tapas in town might be in a new town altogether. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Terms and conditions apply. Learn more at Amex.ca. slash ymx fast track i really don't want anyone listening to this podcast i'm done let's talk about let's talk about things i think that you need to do a better job at prioritizing what you're passionate about

because you're an emotional arguer and i disagree with that we were arguing about you wake me up and you had the audacity to get out of the shower and wake me up so that we can have an argument about you waking me up. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to Couple Things with Sean and Andrew. A podcast that's all about everything. Couples. We're so excited that you guys took the time out of your day to listen to us. Today is going to be a fun topic. Yeah, it was highly, highly requested. I reached out and asked you guys for topic ideas,

and this was 99% of what you wanted, and it's arguments. Everything about arguments. How to argue? How do you get past arguments? Are you supposed to argue? Is it bad to argue? Can you argue too much? There's literally every question about arguments.

So thank you guys for your submissions on the topics. We're definitely going to try to cover as many different of your submissions as possible. But we wanted to start with arguments because it's something you and I are pretty experienced that show. We're really good at it. No, no, I don't think we're good at it. No, we're really good at making sure we argue.

Yes. Yes. We're still figuring out the how to be good at arguments. Yeah. So, hey, before we really jump into it, if you guys could subscribe and rate the show on whatever platform you're listening on, that would be great.

It really helps us out. And we like having you around. Yeah. Anyway, I wanted to first kind of lay the correct way to perceive arguments, if you will. And I think it's important to view them correctly because some people are like, like, oh, me and my boyfriend just got in an argument. And so I don't think he's the right one. Yeah.

I mean, I don't know your opinion. I feel like I know your opinion. But I would say arguments are a really good thing. Yeah. Because if you aren't arguing and I'm not talking about like hitting each other. Because that's a whole different thing. That's a different issue. There is a difference between arguing and fighting.

Yes. Important distinction. But arguing, I think, is a good thing because that means you're voicing your differences and your different opinions. And that means you're not like stuffing them down and holding them in and letting them build. Yeah. Like you're getting them out there. So here's how we view relationships.

It is my goal to make Sean the woman that I see. see in her that I see that she could become and so the only way to do that is one for her to be honest with me about who she is and then two for us to have honest conversations about how hey Sean I didn't like how you did this I think you could do better so there's a lot of responsibility in that and about giving me accountable to who I should be is that what you're trying to do no no about about about me calling you out on the right things and not being selfish about Sean you never do the dishes you need to do the dishes more you know what I'm saying should elaborate there's really important things that are worth arguing about and then there are

other things that i want to argue with you about but i shouldn't always okay would that enough in an elaboration i think so okay so the other day yes um i really wanted your help in um feeding drew okay right because i had taken care of drew the day and I felt like I was doing what nothing keep going you laughing at that no I'm not I'm not I felt like you weren't doing anything to help drew out and we got an argument because I was selfish and that wasn't it wasn't something that made you a better woman yes no I agree with that I'm not laughing at you I'm laughing at like the situation and how it is interesting because with arguments you can see trends with arguments I think if you like take a step back in relationships and if you take a step back and really identify what it is that causes arguments you can you can probably find patterns so for us Drew is a huge like argument starter just because we're still figuring out parenthood and this is why I was laughing I mean we're two months in so we'll always continually figure out parenthood I feel like but but I was laughing because we get

We have gotten so many arguments about her just because it's such a foreign topic and it's such a new, I don't know, part of our life. And the only thing I can relate it to is our dog. And when we got Nash, every day it was a new argument. It was conflicting opinions of how we should, you know, raise him and teach him and now teaching a child. But I will say, going back to the patterns,

our patterns that we've identified. We always argue when we get tired. And it's always this emotional, irrational. We have no idea what we're arguing about, but we're just screaming at each other. We always argue about roles, just trying to figure out, like, whose job is what. And then we argue about appreciation. So. True. Recognition.

Not feeling appreciated or recognized or. And what you just said, I think, is extremely valuable, not only in arguments and relationships, but like pretty much anything you're doing is like, finding patterns and being able to like place things in an organized way so that it's not always like this unexpected oh we got an argument um at 8 a.m i don't know why i don't know why we always do that well sean is not a morning person so that's a pattern that i need to be aware of yeah but anyway all that to say arguments are healthy fighting is not arguments are healthy because you have two people who have you and i are way different honestly yes we're way different

and we're trying to figure it out. So it's like, it's good. You have to interrupt you. But one of my favorite, I don't know if you would consider analogies that I've heard was given to us by our premarital counselor, which I think premarital counseling is amazing. I rejected therapists. I was like, the only reason you would go to a therapist is if you're weak or you have massive issues.

And I've had a lot of people suggest therapists to me over the years, which should probably be a sign and I never went to them but we finally went to one when we were engaged and it changed my life like I want to go to a therapist every day because it was so good but something he said is in any relationship you have to look at it as if you both are speaking different languages so it's like Andrew speaks Chinese and I speak French and it's this constant battle of trying to learn each other's language how you argue if you're emotional if you're emotional if If you're, you know, if you go by the facts, if, like, we just see things, just as human beings, we see things completely different and we react to things completely different.

And it's this forever, ever-changing process of learning each other's language. And it's hard and it's frustrating and it causes a lot of arguments. But if you go into your arguments with that mindset of, okay, what is it he's trying to say? He might be saying it in a way that sounds. offensive to me or I'm good at that I might get defensive because what he's saying is something I would never say and I just have to kind of translate it slowly and without anger which can be really really difficult there's so many things that we do wrong in our arguments my biggest thing is my tone that I convey things to you in but it's an example that's a perfect example

Like, yes, you convey things in the wrong tone to me, but that's how I perceive and, like, that's how I speak. But continue. Sorry. This episode is brought to you by Defender. With its 626 horsepower twin-turbo V8 engine, the Defender Octa is taking on the Dakar Rally, the ultimate off-road challenge. Learn more at landrover.ca. I feel like we have different types of arguments. Yes.

Let's address what are different types of arguments are. Okay. Well, the surface level, the like beginner is disagreements. Yes. So that's where it starts. So. For instance, no, here's a specific example. Sean just bought a whole bunch of new furniture that we did not need.

That started had a disagreement. let's just let's play this one out okay okay so I presented the idea of let's re-furnish our living room and dining room I feel passionate about this topic Andrew disagrees with that opinion that's our disagreement no I don't disagree that you want to refurnish no I you disagree about the whole idea yes okay so we disagree and we talk through that disagreement Here's my... Will you please stop messing with this microphone is getting the anxiety.

Here's my biggest thing with that issue is... If we have an audio issue, by the way, this is on you. I think that you need to do a better job at prioritizing what you're passionate about because you're an emotional arguer. And I disagree with that. This is fun. Yes. But let's get back on topic.

Okay. Because we don't need to recap this issue. So disagreements. so yes furniture we disagreed at a surface level with the idea we had disagreements with that yeah and we talked through the disagreements of like why well why do you think that and why you know present your argument type thing and then i feel like our disagreements then take a step further into arguments okay and an argument becomes emotional i feel like a disagreement is just here's an idea here's something I think I don't agree with it honestly we don't do a good job at

having just disagreements we have a lot of disagreements that turn into arguments because because we emotional but we do a good job at never letting it get into like a fight we've only had like two or three really big like blowups one of them I want I want you guys to picture this okay we have like he said we have very rarely gotten into fights fortunately Thank you for that. Yes. And I will say fights. Thank you for that too, Andrew.

There is another level. What? I'm just giving you credit. Oh, okay. Thank you for that too, Andrew. Thank you for that too, baby. I'm sorry. I was on a roll.

I was in my mind. I'm sorry. I will say we have to like take a step outside of this and say if fights ever become physical in any way, that is not good. That is not healthy. You need to find help. And that's not something we are. we approve of at all yeah okay but and also manipulation is a bad thing absolutely yeah so just be wary of that there's a big difference between trying to work

through issues in a healthy way where both people are willing to compromise and trying to get someone to do what you want yes so so continue um but fights the very few fights Sandra and I have gotten it. We had a fight not too long ago, and I need you guys to picture this. So it had to do with Drew, who's going to feed her, who's going to get up in the middle night, we're sleep deprived, we're hangary, we haven't eaten. We go to bed. We're in bed.

My blood is boiling for some reason. I don't even know at that time. And I'm like, I need to shower. And Andrew's like, fine, I need to go to bed. So Andrew goes, falls asleep. I get in the shower. I take a 45-minute shower. No joke.

I'm crying in a shower. Who knows why? I really don't even remember what it is we're arguing about. No, we were arguing about you waking me up, was the argument. But go ahead. I'm starting to remember things. We'll probably be like that. Okay.

Anyways, I, while I'm in this shower for 45 minutes crying, in piecing together my argument. I'm like, oh. that's a good line. This is a good line. I'm going to hit him with this, not physically, but, you know. And I get out of that shower, confident A-F. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to walk into this bedroom and I'm going to be like, okay, babe, let's do this.

Red flag number one of this not being a healthy argument. Okay. So I walk in and I'm like, babe, we need to talk this through. And all I see, it's like pitch black in our bedroom, except, you know, when you're like, your eyes adjust and you can see shadows all i see are andrew's arms being thrown up into the air as he's laying down in bed i've never done this in my life and he's talking he's like are you kidding me right now right now and he's like i can't believe you woke me up our argument our we were arguing about you waking me up and you had the audacity to get out of the shower and

wake me up so that we can have an argument about you waking me up wild wild taking a step back we are well aware that we argue and we fight when we're tired and when we're sleep deprived and over things we're very passionate about and very emotional with and very attached to which it was about drew we were tired we're sleep deprived we were hungry it was just a bad situation so and that's one thing that has helped us, we were talking about patterns, but like putting things in context of, like I said, anytime before 10 a.m., Sean, like if I'm being loud and obnoxious and like, you know, coming at her, even if it's in a playful way, it's going to probably end in an argument. So realizing that the context does matter. But then also, I find solace

in this. I don't know if you do. But like Sean and I arguing about wedding planning, like planning our wedding was a really stressful thing for us and we had a lot of arguments during that time but then we we I like to do research on like hey how many how many couples fight during the engagement process and it's like 95% do and realizing that that's normal to have arguments puts me at ease about whatever the topic is just because it's like oh it's not like this is a make or break thing like this is just a normal thing that causes conflict that we need to work through does that make sense yeah so putting things in context whether that's situationally or in the bigger picture of this is a normal conflict bank more oncores when you switch to a scotia bank banking

package learn more at scotia bank dot com slash banking packages conditions apply scotia bank you're richer than you think well i want to add a couple things so One, this whole topic of arguing, we are saying it's healthy to argue, and we agree with that. There are relationships out there that are healthy and work and you don't argue. So, like, if you don't argue and you have a healthy and great relationship, that's awesome. That works for you guys. But we're just talking about if you do argue, it's not a bad thing or it doesn't have to be a bad thing. But I do want to bring up another topic that people have asked questions about, and that's,

do you go to bed angry and wait until the morning to talk it through or do you try to hash it out there's a lot of like different opinions about that and my first opinion my like first thought is we like to talk it out fight it out argue it out whatever it is and i feel like our trend and the way we do things is we always have that first argument that tends to be emotional and that's just when your blood is boiling and we get all the opinions out and we usually say a few cuss words because we just don't know how to communicate with each other

you're speaking Chinese I'm speaking French again nothing's working not literally I don't know Chinese yet but I'd like to but it pretty much seems like that because nothing you're saying is making sense to me and I'm like how could you say that and you're saying the same thing to me whatever we usually then go to bed

and we're usually still kind of angry. And then in the morning, we have a cordial conversation where I'm able to say, okay, you said this last night. Yeah. I didn't understand it. Can you please explain it to me in a different way? And I think if, just a suggestion out there, if everyone is able to approach a conversation

with such clear mindset of, okay, he said this or she said this, And it really hurt me, but I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt and say, okay, I know you said this, but can you, can you word it differently? I think it could go a long way. And one thing that I feel like makes our arguments, or when we have a productive argument, makes it productive, is like just being honest. So, Andrew, when you said this last night, when we were having our big fight, it hurt my feelings. and then a lot of times we're able to just work through that issue and apologize for it but then more clearly communicate like I'm sorry I said that that's not what I meant I really just want you to give me more appreciation I want you to give me more recognition and I do think

it's important to mention that as a whole generally our marital pre-marital counselor said this women want love and men want respect and so if i feel like i'm being disrespected it doesn't end well and if sean doesn't feel like she's getting enough love like i'm hanging out with the boys all weekend and then i come home and don't even recognize her that doesn't end well either well and i think something that's really worked for us or is working for us and is beneficial is acknowledging that in each other. So there is a lot of times where we'll sit down and we'll be like, okay, what do you need from me?

Yeah. What is it you aren't feeling or aren't getting that you need more of? And when we're having these arguments in a cordial setting and we're trying to really talk them through, I'll say, Andrew, you know, it's not to be offensive to you.

But in this situation, when you said this, when you acted this way, I didn't feel loved and I need to feel love to feel secure in our relationship to be able to feel confident as a woman just like all of this yeah and he'll be like okay I'm sorry but I didn't mean that and then vice versa he'll say okay when you did this I felt disrespected and it's just if you can go back and forth and give clear cut details as to what it was that person did and how it made you feel it kind of sets your significant other up for success and being able to say, okay, next time I'll try to do this differently.

And again, that goes back to both parties wanting to be able to have a healthy argument and really work through issues well. Hit pause on whatever you're listening to and hit play on your next adventure. This fall get double points on every qualified stay. Life's the trip. Make the most of it at Best Western. Visit bestwestern.com for complete terms and conditions. But aside from disagreements, another, I feel like this is a majority of our, of our arguments are just pure miscommunication.

Oh, yeah. So this is a classic line. Again, because you're Chinese. The other day, we were talking about grocery shopping. And I thought we needed to go to Kroger and Sean thought we needed to go to Whole Foods or something. and at one point in the argument, Sean said, can we not go pick the things up at Publix? And I thought, I interpreted that as let's not go pick the things up at Publix.

And I'm in it as a question mark. And that's hilarious. That happens to Sean and I all the time. I hope you guys follow that. We'll write that in sentence form so you guys understand. Can we not go pick the grocery. up at Publix. Do you guys understand how that could be wildly confusing?

Lexi's confused. That's wildly confusing. Maybe it too. Anyways. Yeah. And so we had a 15-minute argument about that. And then at the end, Sean was like, oh, no, I meant, let's go pick the grocery. And I was like, oh, my gosh, that's hilarious.

But also, I'm so mad at you. So the miscommunication arguments that we have, are just us learning to speak your language. Me learning to speak your language, you learn and speak mine. The third and probably my least favorite are just pure emotional arguments. Yeah. And again, identifying patterns. I think it's extremely important for me to realize the background that you have with this particular issue.

For instance, one thing we've argued about a lot in our relationship is, is Sean, why can't you be more social? I just instinctively trust people inherently. Like, honestly, way too much. There's been a couple instances where I've gotten us in trouble because I've trusted people poorly. You don't trust people.

Like, it's frustrating because, well, I'll be trying to have a conversation with someone we just met that I'm really excited about and Sean is not into it. And it's because you don't trust them. But it's also because, and we had tons of arguments, until it got to a point where it was boiling and so emotional

and I was in tears and I was like, you know what? I've had trust broken so many times by, you know, I mean, the most extreme case is like a stalker. And I tried to put, like, when it got to that point and I'm bawling my eyes out and I'm like, I just don't want to feel to have my trust broken again like that. Then it became clear to Andrew that, oh, this makes sense. and we've actually had friends that we've talked to in conversation they've been like

we don't want to know about each other's past we don't want to know about anything that they went through because we're living in the moment in this relationship and to a certain extent I get that but for us it's been really really important to talk through bad breakups and ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends and traumatic experiences because it gives context as to why both of us respond to certain situations in certain ways. So another thing that we've argued a ton about is like self-image and me being self-conscious and me having body image issues. And because for my husband, it's like, why would you ever think this?

You're beautiful. I love this. Why are you not wanting to walk a red carpet? Why don't you want to wear this dress? Why are you crying right now? like all these different things and it's taken a lot of time and explanation for me to explain gymnastics and eating disorders and you know therapist for him to be like okay this is a situation I need to kind of tiptoe around and coddle and support and I think being able to explain that to

your partner is really important I agree and I feel like it's in the emotional arguments that we have where it's really important to realize that it's sometimes not saying something even if there's like even if I have the most rational argument for like Sean that's the president of the United States and you can't warm up to him like that in my mind that's a rational argument a lot of times in emotional arguments it's best to withhold saying things and all you need in that moment is love yes that's the lesson that i've learned that i'm sorry that i'm still learning um i do think on another note kind of moving on to another topic or another trick i guess another thing that

we do with arguments that i think helps is we talked about this years ago when we were dating or i think we were engaged actually it was after the premarital counselor something that he suggested is don't bottle anything up. If something bothers you, say it right then and there because you probably have less emotion and less anger and resentment build up right then and there than waiting a week and letting it happen a million times and then exploding in anger.

So this can be frustrating for both of us because we will reiterate things multiple times to each other and we get so frustrated with it, but I still think it's better than letting it built. So, for example, you don't shut the cabinet doors. And I'll ask you once a day, be like, babe, can you just shut it? And for me, it's better to say that. It makes you really frustrated.

But then for me, to build into this massive argument and just explode with emotion. Yeah, that's fair. And it becomes this huge thing. Which I'm more prone to harboring issues and letting them fester. Yeah, you should work on. Like, one of those things. one thing I'm not mad one thing that I've noticed as a pattern is that you get so mad when my vanity is dirty in your side of the vanity I look over and it's just cluttered with like a

million different things but I have I have one thing sitting out and it just is too much and it's like I let it faster this is the first time I've said anything to you I'm not that mad about it but just go ahead perspective change Okay. I actually clean up your vanity, like, as an act of love. Not that it bothers me. Thank you, baby. I truly, like, when I walk by it, I'm like, I should clean it up for him.

Thank you. Mine is a hot mess that is long gone, but it's actually an act of love for you. I appreciate that. Have you ever thought of that? I have not, but I have. Because I have ever said anything about your vanity? There is a big miscommunication when it comes to. laundry. I know I know that you see it as an act of love to give me clean laundry, but it's so

frustrating to me because I'll wear the same clothes every day and I want those I want those clothes ready for me to wear. It's actually an act of love to myself so I don't have to smell the body odor. Okay. All right. We're going down a rabbit hole right now. Deep and dark path. I have realized we learned this a hard way. We went on a vacation with Josh and Kelsey acts, and I asked the foolish question. Very bad question to ask. What's the biggest argument you guys have ever had? Don't ever ask that.

That's the wrong question to have. Because I do say, no matter if you're dating or engaged or married, there's probably one issue that is really hard to work through, and probably you'll never work through. You'll never work through it. So, again, sometimes it's better just to let things be. well and i i want to add to that you probably will have this one topic that you guys probably will never agree on and that does not mean that that person is not your person there is no person in the entire world that you're going to agree about every single thing in the entire world on

it's just not possible we're human beings and we're different we're wired different we change and if you're waiting for that person to show up they're not not going to. You have to make things work. You have to compromise. You have to see things differently. That's what makes relationships fun and different. Yeah. So it's okay to have that one thing you'll never agree on. But you probably shouldn't bring that up in conversation. Yeah. For us, I would say it's probably treatment of the dog. But we don't really work through those. We don't work through the details. Exactly. Yeah. Moving on. Let's talk about things that when we're arguing. national and right let's I'm done let's talk about let's talk about things that things that we do when we

argue that work well and things that don't work well so I feel like using I versus we is uh is something that can be a useful strategy because I don't want to necessarily call something out in you that really I'm involved with. And it's also a more gentle way to communicate a message. So like, hey, Sean, we should work on closing the cabinet doors. It's better than you need to close the cabinet doors. As long as you don't say it with spite, I agree. Yeah.

Yeah. And there's definitely a wrong way to say it. Because you can get like kind of snarky. Oh, yeah. We're doing a good job, huh? I also think a really, really important thing, as hard as it can be sometimes, is to acknowledge everything that your significant other is saying 100% so that's something that we have recently said we need verbal confirmation yes so if someone if you're in an argument if you're not

whatever if your significant other is saying something to you whether I mean they could even be pointing out something that you've done wrong that you don't even think is wrong you need to acknowledge it you need to say okay I'm sorry you feel that way or acknowledge it in whatever way you can before you bring in the but or your opinion or your thought because if you don't it feels you feel like you're unseen and unheard and that can cause arguments to skyrocket yeah yes um you can get protein at home or a protein latte at tim's no powders no blenders no shakers starting at 17 grams per medium latte tim's new protein lattes protein without all the work at participating restaurants in Canada also I heard I think Jordan Peterson say

this but criticize the smallest possible thing about the other person as possible so like don't don't say Sean you never take out the trash I think is an important thing that I'm working on is saying hey Sean when I asked when I asked you to take out the trash and you didn't that one time it hurt my feelings because because I felt like you didn't hear me it's really easy to exaggerate issues and again that's letting them fester and build so you have to point them out as they happen so that you're setting your person up for success yeah to succeed the next time yeah one thing you do is apologize too much yes I do apologize too much and I think it's very easy to do that I don't have a I really appreciate you being willing to concede but I I do find frustration

and sometimes you apologize when you really actually want to communicate something yeah I apologize in spite I'm sorry but I'm really not but I'm really not at all I think I think appropriately using apologies yeah is an important thing and not just using it as like out to the conversation and using them like enough are you looking at me yeah i feel like i apologize a lot you never actually say i'm sorry okay all right good to know yeah we're learning things right now you just say i apologized that's just really interesting it is Okay. I'm going to, I'll accept that. It's like couple's therapy.

Yeah. I feel like we're going to have to start bringing in moderators, so. So I feel like, I feel like, no, we definitely, we definitely, excellent example. Yes. Sean and I were talking. Maybe this isn't a good thing for us to like revisit all these issues that we've worked through. Yeah. Some things are just better left undone.

But we're going to be interviewing people. We have an awesome roster. We did a huge outreach yesterday, and we have like 30 people lined up, and I'm so excited. Yeah, and we're going to be doing them in person, and I can't wait. But to review, what do we learn here today? We learned that arguments are fine and healthy and happen in relationships, and you should not get discouraged by them. Just because you argue does not mean you're in a bad relationship. It means you guys are passionate and healthy and sane, and you have opinions.

And as long as you're willing to be open to the opinions of that other person, you don't necessarily have to agree with them. But as long as you're open to listening and hearing them, you're great. Yeah. But you have to be willing to listen. I think having an attitude of one honesty, because I need to be honest with how I'm feeling, and I need to be honest with myself about the negative thing in you

that I would like to correct, right? That's how arguments happen. It's like, oh, you did this and that's dumb. But it might not be right. Yes. Having an attitude of forgiveness. Absolutely. And then just realizing that there's a lot,

sometimes there's issues with a lot of background complexities to it and putting things in context, recognizing patterns. Those are the lessons that Sean and I have. learned so far in our and we're still learning how many years we've been married for this are we're about we should know this three and a half we're coming up on four but we would love to get your guys feedback on did you agree with how we argue do do you agree with how we view arguments there's probably going to be some like marriage counselors that I'll listen to this and be like whoa what a what a train wreck with it they're on the fast track I really don't want anyone listening

to this podcast but we would love to hear your guys's tips and tricks Maybe we didn't mention this, but Sean and I do have one special place where we go to have hard conversations. Oh my gosh. No, that is not a we. That is a cute. Andrew didn't even notice this.

I picked up on this pattern early on in our dating relationship. But I would always get this text message. It happened like once a month. And I'd be like, do you want to meet me for coffee at Frothy Monkey, which is a coffee shop here in Nashville? And I'd be like, at first I was like, sure, let's go get coffee. But then I soon realized a pattern of every time and the only time we ever went to Frothy Monkey is when Andrew had to have a serious conversation.

And it was some sort of argument or talking about a topic we didn't want to talk about, but something serious. And it got to the point where I had like PTSD around Frothy Monkey. I'm like, what did I do this time? We haven't been back there much. No. But if you remember, it was like towards engagement, You're like, do you want to go to Frothy Monkey?

I literally said to you. I was like, what did I do this time? Yeah. But it is good. And this is part of our solution for how we let issues not fester. It translated into us having monthly checkups where Sean and I will just sit down and say, all right, this is a safe space where we can have a conversation that I'm going to call something out in you and just receive it well. So I'll be like, Sean, one thing I felt like you did really, we always start with like you did a good job. A compliment.

So I'll say, you did a really good job at being patient with me when I know I lost my temper a couple of times. Yeah. And then I'll say, but I didn't appreciate how you totally blew me off and a handful of issues. And again, try to be specific. And we do make sure to get out of the house for that. So we've always tried to do our monthly checkups at a coffee shop or somewhere to where, I don't know why. I think our marriage counselor told us that, like getting out of your home space so that. I don't know.

It just kind of refreshes you. I don't know. It keeps home as like this place of rest as opposed to relating it to every time we're home, we argue. So then you go out and it's just like a, again, the place you're in actually does matter a lot. That was fun, man. It was fun. I hope they took something away from it.

I do too. I hope we aren't, I mean, we are hot messes. It's okay. Thank you for listening to another episode of a couple things. Thank you guys for your submissions. If you have any, we have a spot in the website where you can submit ideas. And we'd also love to potentially involve you guys in audio clips and video clips too. So we'll talk about more of that later in Instagram stories where we'll kind of intro an episode with you guys saying and talking about an issue that you guys have had and then us addressing that issue in the episode.

Yes. I'm not rambling. No, I was just trying to follow it. Anyway, if you guys haven't yet, if you could please subscribe to and rate this episode on whatever platform you're listening. Give it a five stars, why don't you? If you thought it was a five star episode. And stay tuned for next episode of A Couple Things. Yes.

This is Sean and Andrew. Out. Thank you.