Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew - 109 the $100M marriage

Episode Date: March 30, 2022

This week we sit down with Alex and Leila Hormozi and talk about how they view purpose in life, the $100 million dollar company they've built together, and their journey as a couple. We learned a lot from Alex and Leila and think you'll enjoy this one too. https://www.acquisition.com/ We are sponsored by these companies that we love. Check them out below: Athletic Greens ▶ Athletic Greens Is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com/eastfam. Subscribe for more! http://bit.ly/3rnOdNo Alex's Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/hormozi/ Leila's Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/leilanhormozi/ Follow Our Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/couplething... Follow My Instagram ▶ http://www.instagram.com/ShawnJohnson Like the Facebook page! ▶ http://www.facebook.com/ShawnJohnson Follow My Instagram ▶ http://www.instagram.com/AndrewDEast Like the Facebook page! ▶ http://www.facebook.com/AndrewDEast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you're with Amex Platinum, you get access to exclusive dining experiences and an annual travel credit. So the best tapas in town might be in a new town altogether. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Terms and conditions apply. Learn more at Amex.ca. I spray windex near Alex. Okay, so that, that, that is, that I do, I do not like that.

So I'm like, I'm eating stuff. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like breathing in wind. If I do something around him that doesn't smell like how he wants, like, if I spray perfume and then he's like, I have to go eat lunch, what are you doing? And I'm like, what does me having perfume? I was like, I don't want to bite the Chanel 9. You know what I mean? Like, I kind of like, eat a sub right.

It's definitely smell related. So like if she, like, I mean, literally spraying around the food that I'm eating. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to a couple things. With Sean and Andrew. A podcast all about couples. And the things they go through. I just took you off guard and I love it.

I do too. I love you. I love you. Today is an awesome, awesome interview. We could have talked to them for hours. I still don't really understand what it is they do because they're such bosses in life. But they own acquisitions.com. Alex and Layla Hermosy.

That's right. So Alex and I share the Vanderbilt connection. He was a fellow Commodore several years ahead of me. His wife, Layla, is now his business partner. They tell the story of how they met and actually were partners in business before they were romantic partners. Yeah. And walked through that story. But they both started in the gym business.

So she was a personal trainer. He owned a gym. And then it morphed into something bigger and bigger until they launched a company called gym launch, which essentially was partnering with gym owners to help them do things bigger and better. They exited that and now, as Sean alluded to, run Acquisition.com where they partially own companies and are kind of a fractional C suite, as he would describe it, but help companies grow from like the $10 million mark to larger and their portfolio of companies does over $100 million in revenue.

What's really cool about their job is what they do is they do is they come in, they assess kind of the relationships amongst the business and they either let people go or really work to almost be like marriage counselors within a business to make sure that they have the right people within their system to help them grow. So we talk about how they run that business, the dynamics of the relationship between them as they work together and as they work in the other companies. That's right. And Alex- There's a lot to it. There is a lot to it. Alex and Lila have recently become content creators themselves. So Alex and all of his mustache, breathe right strip glory, puts out a lot of videos that are

super helpful and super thoughtful. And so they've been gaining a lot of recent traction, especially after he was featured on Graham Steffin's podcast called the Ice Coffee Hour. And really the appeal of these two, I feel like, is just how thoughtful and introspective they are. Intentional is a word. And so this interview brought back a lot of memories of when we sat down with Tom and Lisa Bill you.

And so we hope you like it. And if you want to find out more about Alex and Leila and what they're up to, we'll link all their information down below, including links to their social profiles. But thank you to Alex and Leila for joining us. If you want to hear part two, we alluded to that. Please let us know. I literally could have gone for two hours, but Sean cut me off. And then Alex and I talked for another half hour after the show.

So it was a delightful conversation. And we hope you like it as well. And let's just roll into it with Alex and Leila. Alex Leila, pleasure to have you on the show. Thanks for joining us. Yeah, thanks for having us on. We're happy to be here. Alex, you and I share being Vanderbilt alumni.

We have that in common. I didn't know that. Yeah, dude. Come on, bro. I had no idea. I think you guys overlapped one year. Wait, what class? When did you graduate, when did you graduate 2014, and I went to business school,

finished 2015. Oh, okay. Yeah, I graduated 2011. Okay. Nice. Yeah. But I have bigger biceps, though. So we're all good there.

I think my favorite thing that I read within like our brief that we got, is your team sent over that you have the best calves. Alex? Yes. What? We're trying to, yeah, prove it. Prove it. Oh, my gosh.

Hold on. Whoa, hold on. First of all, that's a nice little, yeah, that's not bad. Let's see yours.

Wait, those are like jumping calves. What's your vert? Have you tested recently? No, I have not. Probably in a decade. I'm going to show yours. Oh, no. Hey, not bad.

Nice. Alex has the good edges. Great definition. Sean, Layla, apologies, was not expecting to actually kind of flex on you. But it is okay for this. So that's good to know. And needed it to be heard. Yeah. Layla, our turn. Our turn.

Yeah. Yeah. I should do that as a joke. Yeah. Wait, Layla, you have a background in bodybuilding, though, correct? Yeah. How long do you do that for? I mean, like, I'm not, like, serious about it anymore. I think I stopped when everything started hurting too much, like, two and a half years ago I really changed from, like, training like I did,

to, like, just, like, normal training, you know? So I still work out, you know, mostly every day. It's just not intense like it used to be. But I think I started when I was, like, 14, like getting into all the fitness stuff. Dang. Yeah. Wow. Been in it for a long time.

He's just older than me. I am just old man. How did you guys meet? Swipe right. Bumble. Yeah. So, I mean, I obviously, because it was on Bumble, had to be the one to swipe. So, like, I saw that.

It was like a math. I swiped and I messaged out. So let the record show cheaper, she's made. Yeah, you know, the funny thing is, like, he had his pictures on there. And then, like, when I met him in person, I was like, this picture's, like, from college, man. And it's like, you're like, what, 26 at this point? And he were like, yeah, well, it still works. I was like, it's a good picture.

I was going to ask, what made you swipe right? Um, fitness and business. So like, I really liked that. He said he owned, I think at that time, I can't remember how many gyms it was four or five. And then that he was in fitness. And I was like, oh, well, I had trouble finding people that, like I wanted someone who's fitness oriented and like that. I like that. But I really like business and was learning about sales and marketing more so. So I was like, oh, that's super cool. We'd have more to talk about. And that and then, you know, immediately after we matched and I messaged him, he was like, let's talk on the phone and just like get this off the app and I was like thank goodness like so many guys like they

would just like keep talking on there and I was like I'm on time for this like I'm so busy right now like I was a personal trainer so it's like all day every day and he was like let's go talk and I was like this is amazing I just like it when people are straight to the point they don't like you know beat around the bush so we want to we want to get into all of your like businesses and details of that but I am curious just jumping straight forward you guys are both into fitness like heavily both into business heavily you guys are both obviously very, very driven and very ambitious, which takes very strong personalities. How does that work in your relationship?

Layla submits to me 100% at all. Okay. Let me get that. Right answer. Grammatically, economically, like any way you can. I think that we're both humble enough to know where the other one is stronger in certain areas. And so, like, we kind of in the beginning to establish, like, our domains of, like, where Alex leads, where I lead. You know, I think even like when I met Alex, I'm like, I'm, what, four years behind him?

Like, and I didn't have four gyms. You know, I was a trainer. So I was like, I don't know as much as at business as you do. And so I learned a lot from Alex in the beginning. He used to make a joke. He's like, you're just going to take everything for my brain and leave. And I was like, you know, it was funny because it was so much business and so much. at the same time.

You'd be leaving empty-handed, Layla. I know, right? I think, honestly, it was just early on realizing that we had to establish those areas of domain. And, like, I think that takes a level of humility. Like, you can be driven, but not be pig. You know, and so it's like, I think there's a difference between you. I think a lot of people who are driven, it's like they're very stubborn and, like,

I know the best, I'm the best to everything. I don't think either of us have that approach, you know, we wouldn't be able to build a team or build an enterprise we did. So I think the same kind of applies to your marriage. And I think like as a single unifying concept, we care more about what is right rather than who is right. And the ruthless pursuit of that has just always been at the forefront. And so it's not like, well, the last four out of five went to Alex. It's like, well, if it was right, then it's right.

And if the last four out of five went to Layla and the next one is also hers, then her point is the one that wins if we, you know, arrive there through discussion. But like, we don't disagree on much. And if we do, it's more like, because we have aligned mission in terms of where we want to go and we have aligned values, which is how we want to get there. And so if we disagree on something, typically the first thing, either of us will the other person is, what information are you using that I don't have? And then that way, because the only reason that you have a judgment that would be different from

mine is if she either has different information or she's deciding differently. And since we decide so similarly, it's usually just different information that you've worked off of. And so just getting our data sources kind of like aligned allows us to just skirt a lot of, I think what most people fight about. I think we're super logical when it comes to like disagreements as a couple and things in business just because like sometimes like it's taken a long time and like training for both us but like I'll be able to say like I'm just being emotional and this has you're completely right and I'm just being an ass right now and I need like five minutes to be a crazy bitch

and I'll say it I'm totally being a crazy bitch right now so like just bear with me he's like I can see that I am aware of that and I think that it's just take that level of awareness from both us to know like we're like we can admit if each of us are being irrational and if we don't and were like spun up in something, then the other one can point it out without the other person getting offended, you know? Wow. Well, first of all, this, your debrief of that is exactly why I was excited to have you guys on the show. You're so, you're so, uh, uh, self-aware and thoughtful. And then I was going to ask, yeah, how do you like, you know, deal with emotions? Because I know you guys don't have kids yet, but sometimes like 2 a.m. in the middle of the night when you're tired and freaking,

it's like there's going to be arguments just because, but I guess maybe kind of, I, identifying like, yo, this just sucks. I'm being wild right now. Yeah, but there are a lot of times where I don't want to admit that. I just want to admit that I am right for whatever ridiculous emotional argument I'm starting. Can you give my wife advice then, Layla? Yeah. It's taken me, like, for me as like a woman, it's taken me years. And I know that there was like a point when Alex I first met and we were not married yet, we were dating and both us had like big walls up. You know, we were super stressed with building this business. It's like it's an absolute shit show. We both very bad habits like all sorts of things right um but i was super cold and had like a big wall up to him

and he said to me he said i just want to let you know like if you continue to be this kind of like old person like i just don't think this is going to work between us and he said it really matter of fact i remember we were like sitting in a car and i wasn't like it was this weird moment for me he's like i'll never forget it because it wasn't like i was upset that he said it it like stung because i knew it was true and i thought to myself the first thought that popped up was well, if it's like this for him, it's going to be like this for anybody. And like, this is like, I need, I want to change about myself because, like, who wants to be with somebody who has those habits and reacts that way when things are difficult or when

I'm feeling emotional? And so I was like, I have to change this for me, not even just for this relationship. So, like, I think that that early on kind of set the tone, which is like, you know, any time for me specifically, because like, I think, you know, there's certainly women, we can be a little more emotional at times, but I like, you know, totally, I think it's just being aware of it and admitting it and then like I know that I want to it's almost like there's the emotion that there's a reaction to it it's like I just work on my reaction to my emotions and that's like all I can say is like for me it's like I'm making progress of like the time that it takes me to de-escalate

the shorter progress for me it's not that I want to eliminate the emotion but like or the time it takes me to tell Alex that I'm being emotional if that sure it was because it used to be a week and then it became three days and then it became a day and then it became an hour and then it became 10 minutes it's like I look at progress like that for myself not eliminating the feeling but just like how fast can I come to a reasonable awareness of what's happening within my own mind? And just as an added thing that I've noticed kind of observing Layla is that she's really adamant in repeating that just because you think it doesn't make it true. And she says it a lot to our team.

She says a lot to ourselves. And so it's kind of been this refrain that she continues to come back to it. Just because you feel a certain way doesn't mean it's true. Just because you think a thought also doesn't make it's true. And so just being able to separate just, oh, I feel this way versus what is reality, I think has been really used for both of us in business and in there. I feel like we're going on a tangent, but I'm so curious about this because we talk about arguments a lot on our show with different couples and how they get to their conclusion. You guys said, Alex, you said earlier that you guys just kind of figure out who's right. And that's kind of like the direction you end up going.

Well, if there's any emotion, what is right? Just what is right. not who is right what is right but when you have any type of emotion involved that can be very very difficult to see because if you have any emotional thought that emotion can make you feel as though your you your argument is correct right so how do you guys how do you guys separate how do you how do you come to what is right when you both potentially have separate beliefs I'm trying to think about something that because like we really, I mean, I have one. Yeah, go for it.

Well, something that, it's like a phrase. I can't remember. Some stoic guy said it or whatever, but it's basically like rather than following what you feel or believe, follow the evidence. Yeah. And so it's like, which, it doesn't matter what you think, it doesn't really matter what you feel, but like what evidence supports who or what is right. And so often it's like what is right is going to do what's aligned with our mission, our values, like as a couple and as a, as business partners. Where's the evidence to support that my claim or my thoughts and my feelings are valid versus his claims, his thoughts, his feelings are valid? Yeah. And just as an added one on

this, I think a reason that we don't have a lot of disagreements is because the two biggest things I think people argue about is that a lot of people, and you know, we probably have, I would say contrarian views on this, but I think a lot of people lose their marriage in the draft. Right. They pick one. And I know that's not a popular sentiment because once you're married, you're in and you need to deal with what you got. But I do think that some people pick wrong. And I would define picking wrong as having a mission that is not aligned. You guys don't want to do the same thing with your life. That's hard to rectify. Or you don't want to get there the same way. You have different values. And so if we can, if those first two things are aligned,

which I think the vast majority of people argue about those things and they become much more contentious arguments because like you spent all this time trying to justify one mission for the versus the other or how one way of get there versus another and both of those are intangibles and it's very difficult to argue justice versus mercy because you're always going to have attention there because they're extremes on a continuum and so people go and relive the same fights over and over again because they're arguing for an ideal and so if we can eliminate the arguments that happen on ideals and we eliminate the arguments around where we're going then the only real argument that ever can happen is how we choose to execute on that. And so if both of us have, this is where we're going,

this is how we want to get there, then it's just she thinks this is a better way to do that than I do. And then that's where it's like, okay, well, we try and will boil down the argument to like a simple statement, which is, okay, so you think that if we do this, we'll have a higher likelihood of achieving X, then I do. This is what I think the evidence of this. And so then it just becomes a risk-adjusted decision. And so then it separates it from being Alex's right or Layla's right. And we can separate it's just like the idea. And we can both attack or support the idea on either side. And then it stops being as personalized. And I think that's, I mean, we haven't had many arguments. Like, we really have not had many arguments. Like I would say like

real arguments. I think we only like one real like day, like where it was like days. days we can ask about that later but uh it does take a good amount of emotional maturity to be able to like say one of you is right more often whoever that is it's like to not to not um no that's what i'm saying i'm saying it takes emotional maturity to not be like oh well he's freaking he's always right and i just want to be right one time like i feel like that is a thing that people experience not that you do i'm saying kudos to you perfect but But I think it's like trading that short-term comfort for long-term dysfunction is what you're doing, right? It's like, you indulge in those negative feelings and that, like, wanting, that desire to be right, if you indulge in that, then you just create dysfunction in your marriage.

I think it's like I always, like, hold in my mind, I'm for Alex's, too, it's like, we know what we want our marriage to look like. We want to build an empire. We want to build something huge together. We want to make our life represent something meaningful just because, like, what else are we going to do? And so it's like, in order to do that, I can't act that way. yeah because it's just like i want that big thing more than i care about being right about the small thing and so i think if you don't have vision in your marriage then it's a lot harder to get them you don't have that really crystal clear vision of like this is the kind of person i want to be

this is the kind of spouse i want to be this is the don't want them to remember me for then like the small stuff becomes bigger and just as a quick piggyback on that i think a third dynamic that also allows us to decrease the number of potential disagreements is that we have the mission we have the values and then there's also the silos, which is the vast majority of decisions we don't need to make together because there are realms of expertise that these are going to be Alex decisions and these are Layla decisions. And we've both delegated those decisions to the other people so that we can make twice as many decisions and move faster. That's good. It begs a question and Layla, I think you just alluded to it. But what are Alex and Layla's mission and what are

your values? Yeah. I mean, our mission right now is really just to document and share the best practices of building a world-class business. Like, that's what we want to do. And, you know, the interesting thing is, like, our mission is changed. And so, like, for us, when we're deciding what's our mission, we're like, what do we want to do for the next five, maybe 10, but five years? And I think that both of us are on board with that because I think your mission is a choice, and it has to be something that gets you excited and gets you out of bed in the morning.

It's worth all the trouble and the pain of life. And that's what we both decided because I think, you know, in building the three businesses together that we did, it was really life-changing experience for both of us every time. And I think that we feel that this mission, we both bring innate strength to the table and we're able to accomplish it. And I'm just gonna add just one wrinkle to that.

It's not that we changed our mission, it's that we refined the mission. So from like what I was saying earlier and having aligned mission, it's like, well, people are changing their mission than that would make it again, it'd be like messing up the pick. But like, it's just we've gotten clearer,

and I'm sure in five years we'll get even clear on what that looks like. Alex, better with language than me. Values? Yeah. Do we skip over that? No, I mean, you know, it's not kind of funny. People are like, what are your values? We're like, our core values of our company are our values.

They are. It just makes it easy. And so we've always been like, what are our values like together in life? And then we make those the poor values of our company. So unimpeachable character, sincere candor and competitive greatness. And if you really break those down, I mean, you know, Alex, you could probably say more eloquently to be socially. I mean, I think, I mean, I think you'd inhale that.

You know, unimpeachable characters is doing the right thing in all contexts, especially when no one's looking, because otherwise you don't really have a value unless you do it without the, yeah, unless you do it without reward, as in the value itself is the reward, period. Sincere candor is really just having uncomfortable conversations when they need to, which is trading long-term benefit for short-term discomfort, right? A lot of people don't want to have the hard conversations and just be authentic and aligned with what they really think when they're talking. And so I think sincere candor also has a function of, and it works well with unimpeachable

character because it's just alignments of thoughts, feelings, and actions, right? Like we do, we talk about what we really are thinking and we do the things that are aligned with that. And that's much easier said than that. And then competitive greatness is. is really just the ambition to do something big. And we have a much more eloquent definition on the site, but it's, you know, be the best when your best is needed. So referencing your company, can you please tell everybody what it is you do

for a living, basically, in what your company is? Me? I feel like you say it better because you type it out so many times. What do we do? I'm going to say it in like layman's terms. Like, how something that sounds great and stoic? So basically, Acquisition.com is important.

portfolio of companies. We take on companies that are between, you know, three and 10 million in revenue. And we basically, it's almost as if we do majority work for minority state. So we take minority stake in these businesses and we do the same work that like a P firm that would be coming in to buy a company would do. And so we're doing that because eventually we want to be able to buy these companies. And this is kind of like us getting to sink our teeth in at a, you know, very, we're providing a lot of value for the amount that we're investing in these companies, like a disproportionate amount of value. And so, I mean, that's really what we're doing. You know, it's a lot of, there's really three layers to it, which is there's redoing all

their acquisition. There's all the recruiting and the basically hiring, firing, redoing all the people. And then there's the technology, which is usually building out their tech stack. And so, you know, Alex's innate strength is the acquisition piece. My innate strength is the recruiting people piece. And then we have, you know, teams that work on the tech piece to the not either of us. This episode is brought to you by Defender. With its 626 horsepower twin-turbo V8 engine, the Defender Octa is taking on the Dakar rally.

The ultimate off-road challenge. Learn more at landrover.ca. Do you guys worry that with the end goal of buying the companies out, you adding so much value is upping the price of that ultimate buyout? So it's actually more so that we want practice in doing it. Our plan is not to buy these owners. It's to gain the experience so that when we encounter companies like them in the future and we know the playbook because we've done it 50 times or 100 times, at that point,

we would then make that move. That being said, we're both really comfortable with how it currently stands. It's a little bit more, there's difficulties in any way you do something. You know, like the grass is always greener. One of the interesting things about our model is that we're not kicking out founders. And so we have to be very aligned with the founders in terms of values and mission, right? Because we're really supporting them and what they want to achieve. Whereas if you, if you do a traditional majority buyout, I don't really care what they think. I see with,

you know, parts of the business. I want and where I think we can take the business. And so it's a, it's a finer dance, but in the same time, it's actually really rewarding because we can see these guys create, you know, generational wealth for themselves. Pretty cool. Yeah, it's like a partnership rather than an authoritarian relationship. Exactly. So when you guys are choosing which companies to partner with, are you choosing to partner with companies that align in values? Or are you basically?

100%. I mean, that's everything. Yeah, 80% of the selection criteria comes down to this is actually soft stuff. It's qualitative stuff. Do we really think this person is unimpeachable character? Do we really feel like this person exhibits sincere candor? Do we feel like they have competitive greatness? And it's, I mean, honestly, any one of those three values,

it's hard to find in many people. There just aren't that many people who have any of the three. And then two of the three is even rare. And all three is extremely rare. And so our selection percentage is very, very low. Yeah, like yesterday, I think we stayed on after we had like a final call with the company and our team was split. We're like, the whole argument was like, I don't think he's not competitive greatness.

And the other team's like, I think he has competitive greatness. And like everyone's arguing like, is it competitively great? Is it not? Like it was like a 45 minute call. And then at the end, we're like, we don't know, we know. We can't take it on. But, like, we really, like, we make all of our decisions for those three values. So you said mission is a choice, our values?

Yeah, values are a choice for sure. Yeah. I think we've refined, refined those over time as well. You know, and we even change kind of like the terminology we use. You know, I think they used to be a little bit more extreme. And I think both of us used to be more extreme. So I was reflected in the values. It was like grower at eyes, beat his king.

Do the boring work. don't sugarcoat it. But both of us have probably become more moderate. Through working with your partnerships, you guys work with relationships, I would guess all day in the hiring, restructuring everything. What's the biggest, I guess, flaw or issue

that you continually see? And what's like the success point? Or like what's the thing you work on to kind of bring into a business? I'd say there's two dynamics. There's the dynamic between families. And then there's dynamic between the founder and the team. And that's probably the two dynamics that are usually not,

not advantageous to the business when we bring them on. So like the first instance is that there's multiple founders and there's issues going on. And they don't, they never, they never, like almost ever reveal those to us in the beginning. And so that's something that we have to really learn through the diligence process and like poke at, whether it's a married couple or whether it's, you know, partners in business, family and business, whatever. And we'll just be like, you know, John, it doesn't seem like you work as much as Rick. Rick, how do you feel about that? John makes a lot more money than you, Tom. Is that weird? And you know what I mean? And just like, we'll just ask because it's what everyone's thinking.

And so I think a part of sincere candor is just saying what you're thinking so that like stuff can just get resolved in confront of it. They're so, they so want to talk to somebody about it anyways, It's like the moment you ask, it's like, it's like word vomit comes out. They're like, I hate him. Or like, oh, my God, this fucker stocks. He's ruining everything. And you're like, oh, wow, okay, this is an issue. That is.

So it's first resolving, like, the dynamics there, which is, in a lot of times someone ends up either exiting or we end up bringing in someone new for that founding team to, you know, make it functional so the business can run. And then the second piece is the relationship that the founder has is the team, which is usually when we come in, it's a, it's a conglomeration of people that they like and people who are like them. And that's not what makes a durable business or a flexible or adaptable business. Because if everyone that you bring on has not had a single authentic thought that you have not already thought of, then the business isn't useful.

And so that's usually what we see in the beginning. And it's really hard to break the habits of the founders because they love taking in like what I call stray puppies, like people that love them that have their values, but they're just like a little version of them. They're like, no, they'd be great for this role, Layla. And I'm like, this guy doesn't even have any finance experience. He's not going to be an accounting manager, you know, just because you like him. That's probably one of the hardest things to break, as well as they typically are too soft with their teams at first because they're just so grateful that people are working for them and that the thing is working. They're like, I don't want to mess it up. So usually not harsh enough.

They're not, they don't have enough accountability in place yet. And it's typically a genius with a thousand hands model, right? It's one guy and lots of helpers. And the problem with that from an enterprise perspective is that the business will grow to the cumulative knowledge set of all of the employees, including the CEO or founder who's still probably working in the business. The problem that comes up is when if every person in your business, you can do the job better than them, then it means the entire business is actually just the subset of one brain, not many. And so that's what usually actually caps the business, is that it's all dependent on the founder. And that's typical of that kind of $3 to $10 million range. You know,

they spent all this time and energy learning skills and going to masterminds and doing courses and workshops and all the stuff so that they could level themselves up. And then their business did grow to a certain degree. But at a certain point, in order to grow the enterprise, you just need more brains that come preloaded with solutions. So you don't need to go gain five years of finance experience to learn how to do the function. Maybe this is a common issue with the lower value companies. But like I feel like one issue that I see all the time is like, man, this person is just actually not hiring anybody. And so there's no even accumulation effect. But, you know, yeah, they're like, I don't know if I should spend the money. I don't know if the thing's going

to last. I don't know. There's just it's, it's, they can't predict the future. They don't think, they think that they should be able to predict future their business when in reality you never can. And because of that, they don't make moves to actually invest in it, which then perpetuates the fact that their business may not exist because they don't reinvestment. Yeah. And they don't know what ideal scene looks like. In whatever businesses you're involved in, there's usually something that starts to come naturally to you, whatever it is, product, marketing, sales, whatever. And you figure that function out. And the thing is, I feel like business is a lot like a video game with levels in which once you learn what a good salesperson looks like, you can duplicate it. You're like,

this is what that looks like. Let me see if I can do that again, right? It's pattern recognition. And so when you're leveling up, it becomes more difficult to see, like, what's a CFO? look like. If you've never had one before, it's really hard and it takes a lot of trial and error. And that's what wastes time and exposes the company to more risk. And so the idea is like if we can, if we can inject as many, we can use our own pattern recognition on what is, what is, we know what a business society should look like. And then we know what each of the people within those functions look like. And so we can easily pattern recognized place, pattern recognized place and then very quickly assemble the infrastructure that then the company just grows on

its own right after that. So am I correct in saying that your portfolio companies does $100 million in revenue? Is that correct? And how big is your internal team? 11. 11? Yeah. You mentioned pattern recognition with recognizing and placing. Do you use any, is it just like a feel thing at this point? Like, oh, that's a good CFO or is it like, hey, take these personality tests and do these evaluations. Do you do all that or know. At this point, for me, it's just pattern recognition. Like, and that's like I try to transfer to them to the team. Like, you know, we've got people from like McKinsey, for example, like, he has the same pattern recognition. He's like, that guy is a city CFO, you know, because he's just

seen enough CEOs or CFOs to know what it should look like and what it's right. So it's pattern recognition. You know, I think I use personality tests to confirm or deny that the person is who they are representing in the interviews. So it's not to say like, this guy's a D or an I. He came off like a D or an I. Does his test test like a D or an eye? Because sometimes if those things mismatched, then I'm like, okay, well, maybe they're being kind of fake in the interview. Maybe they're a bad tester.

You know. It's more to validate what we're already seeing than it is to use to create a conclusion. Yeah. I feel like you guys spend a lot of your time coaching to a certain extent. You're constantly trying to like improve and coach and teach and kind of guide. Is that ever get in the way of your marriage? Not really. I think that, you know, we're both aware enough that.

like we'll be like are you doing that to me you know what I mean like and sometimes though I want that you know sometimes if I'm like spun up to something I'm like can you just talk I just need you to talk to me about like I need you to coach me right now um it's rare rare you know it's like if there's something that's like early on my mind I don't really don't do that to each other I think I don't think that's useful because I think most of the times in a relationship you just want someone to listen yeah I think it really the the handful of times that we get into that kind of Coach E dynamic is when it's a queer walk into the other person's domain. So if I'm like, I think I am bucking up, sorry, I don't know if that's on, you know,

on some of my meetings. I've just like, I have not been very good at managing that. That's clearly Layla's domain. And so I'd be like, this is what I'm doing. Just like maybe you think about doing this way and this way. And then it's great. And on the flip side, Layla's like making more content now and making more presentation. It's been very much my kind of part of the house.

And so she's been like, can you look at these? What do you think about this? And I'm like, I would restructure this. I put a story here. This is a little plan, you know, whatever. And so I think it's just when we clearly cross into the other person's domain is where it kind of shifts a little bit. But there's not anybody else that I'd rat, like, I think Layla's exceptional at what she does. And so I feel like it's just kind of cheating that I just happened to me married to her.

So I just get top tier insight. Because you guys work together and your business is together, we, I don't want to say struggle with this, but it's something that we've had to work on. Where are your boundaries at home of when can you work? When are you husband and wife? And when are you partners in business? So excited for this question. Yeah, there are no rules. There are no rules.

We can do whatever you want. So when we got into this game, we had all these different coaches and mentors that are like, you must. So it's a, I'm going to use the Trevor's term, but mustervation, right? Is you have to, we must, we should, we need to, et cetera, which is actually an implied threat because it's we need to or what. or what, right? And so, you know, we started untangling some of the things that people had spoken on us about things that had to happen. You have to stop working at five. You have to do

date nights. You have to. Yeah. And we just decided that we would just do what we wanted to do. Just self-regulate. If we feel like we're getting too worky, we'll just be like, hey, let's cool it for a day and let's take the day off. And then we'll take the day off. And if we want to work for 14 days straight, then we'll work for 14 days straight. Like, we just, we just don't have rules that regulate the behavior. It's just the outcome and how we're feeling about it and then we adapt on the fly. I think that if you are fine and you just continue to work on your communication with your partner, then you allow yourself more flexibility in these routines. Because if you have to keep strict, you know, it's like the person who's like, don't text me after five, I would never

respond. It's like, but if you could just communicate, hey, today I don't want you to text me after five. I'm just feeling a little rundown versus maybe on other days you want to work until eight or nine. you know and so it's if the better and the more that we communicate and it's like there's days where I'm like hey like I know that you're working all day I really just wish you weren't so you can hang out with me maybe you could hang out with me after I'm working I'm just being whined right or like this is like two days ago yeah I was like God I feel so guilty because you're writing your book right now which is taking up all the weekends and I'm like all I want to do is go to pool with you and he's like oh I'm writing my book and I'm like I know and I feel like such a terrible wife but I even have the

thought but I'm like but I'm going to express it I don't need to him to do anything about it, but then he probably will, like, you know, have dinner with me, go on a walk or something. So I think it's like the more that you can express your feelings to your partner about what you desire or what you want, the less you need to have these ridges routines. And it's, it's kind of spirit of the law rather than letter of the law. I think a lot of people like, so if you can't function on values, you have to create rules and rules suck. Because they keep crap. It's like confined. They're constraints. That's what they are. They become more stressful than the thing that you were trying to prevent of being stressful

in the first place. Yeah. And so, but to touch on probably some of the spirit of the other side of that question is, I think we've gotten better and better at switching between our business dynamic and our marriage dynamic. And, you know, I think our mannerisms, our tone of voice. And, you know, we even have cues for this at this point where Layla just be like, I need husband Alex. I'm like, okay, blah, all right, got it. I'm here. What's up? You know what I mean? Because I tend to be more aggressive, more, you know, more rational, less emotional when I'm in, I'm in, like, business. Oh, you can, you want to share that you can't. Yeah, yeah.

We have, like, little things that we say to, like, know the transition, like, you know, the tool, Asana. Yeah. I was like, I'm putting in an Asana ticket. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, I'm just letting you know if I'm putting a support ticket today.

You know, like, what I mean? Yeah. And so it would be like, and it's kind of nice, though, is that that's worth for us because, like, I've met couples that, like, planned sex. I'm like, that's that it's fucking horrible. Yeah, and so it's more like you're on alert, you know what I mean? And it's like, and, you know, when the opportunity presents itself, like, we'll both step away or whatever. But just little things that I think you learn, you know, throughout being married and whatnot.

And I'll say the same thing back. I'll be like, hey, I need, I need wife, Lela here. Like, I don't need business partner Lela. And so it's just, I think we've gotten better at communicating just that, that sentiment itself. because otherwise you just bring a marriage thing and then you get responded to it with a business person and it's just it's not what the other person wants. The support dicket is hilarious.

I had a question and I just can't get past that. And I just think they're hilarious. Wendy's most important deal of the day has a fresh lineup. Pick any two breakfast items for $4. New four-piece French toast sticks, bacon or sausage wrap, biscuit or English muffin sandwiches, small hot coffee and more. Limited time only at participating Wendy's taxes Extra. It's, so Sean and I are in a place where values is something that's been coming up more and

more. So we're growing our business. We have a team of six for the content side of things. And we're essentially acquiring media properties that fall under our value set, essentially. And so it's been really, we actually did a whole episode on the podcast with a guy who put together like a value course because you're kind of walking in the dark at the beginning you know my first inclination was like Googling what are good values to have and then like choosing my favorite looking words but there's like an interesting process he took us through like writing down the situations that you thrived in writing down the situations where you felt really uncomfortable or like didn't thrive and then like noticing the patterns between those and like it's this whole thing

So the value and having those explicitly stated is something that every mentor of mine has just been hammering home, both from a personal standpoint and a business. But you, Alex, you mentioned on Graham Stephan's podcast that you're a nihilist. I think labels are aggressive in general, but like I just don't think that things have inherent meaning capital M. I think that we can create whatever meaning we want and ascribe that meaning to circumstances and situations. But that is what I would consider little M meaning, not big M meaning. Layla, do you share the sentiment of that philosophy? I always have just because, you know, and I think I don't have a problem with what anyone's meaning of life

is or what like it's religious, not religious. If you think it means nothing or everything, I don't care. As long as it serves you, there's nothing wrong with whatever means. it is. So I think, and I think for most people, you know, for example, like, I'm not religious, but I think that religion has a meaning of life and what it represents is really good for most people. Yeah. Like I sometimes, you know, feel like, man, that would be nice. But, you know, I just don't have that. But I think that, like, if you, you know, you study the brain. The brain is a meaning-making machine. And so I think that that's awesome. And because what it means is that for every negative experience you have, you can just be like, oh, that's just my brain, you know,

making up a story, I can always change it. I don't have to believe the story that my brain's making. Yeah, we're even articulated differently. For every experience we have that we initially deem negative, we can choose to ascribe a different meaning to that situation and make it a positive one if we say choose. And you see that in a lot of things. You know, every time you post something on social media, you know, you get people looking at it in two different ways, right? It's like, well, it's not who's right. It's just what one's going to serve you, you know? And I think a lot of times that's why I think it's so cool to think like nothing actually is meaning. It just has whatever meaning you ascribed to it because then you can constantly question your own beliefs about what

things mean. I just, the labels are tough, but I just don't see you guys as nihiless. And maybe my understanding of what that term is is wrong. But like from watching your content from afar for a while now, it seems like you're driven by too much purpose. Whether it's self-ascribed or not, it feels like you're doing it out of some like place of being compelled to because you know it's good. So I don't like in my mind, I'm like, nah, you're you guys got too much purpose for that. But I don't know. That was just a wonderful. You know what I mean? I think it's and I think it's little P purpose, not capital P purpose. That's all. And we create our own purpose. You know, we have those discussions. We had a year and a half of what's our, you know, what is our, our refined mission? Like,

what is our purpose in life? And I think, you know, Tony Robbins talks, like you get to choose. what that is. You don't find it. You don't discover it. You choose it. So it's like, what do I want? And I think it takes away the pressure to say, like, for the next five years, even. What all of my purpose and life to be for five years? Yeah. For a season. This is very unpopular opinion. We've had this conversation many times. And I'm sure our demographic won't agree with it. But I relate to Layla in the sense of everyone's purpose and meaning and what you both are saying. I feel like everybody just gives a different definition of what that is. So no matter what religion, no matter what title, I truly believe to a certain extent, it can all be the same exact

thing. People are just naming it differently. Does that make sense? Like naming the word purpose differently, like using a different word for what we are using. I mean, whatever, if you follow Christianity or if you follow Buddhism or whatever it might be, whatever title you give yourself, you're defining purpose and where you're going in life. And I truly feel like it's all, it could potentially all be the same. What were you going to say, Alex? Oh, no, I, you know, my closest friend, Dr. Tervasci and I, like we talk every week. He's the one who helps me edit my book. He's brilliant. And, you know, he delineates this. And it may come off pejorative, and I don't mean it that way. And again, I'm going to put this disclaimer out there. Negative.

Thank you. I didn't know either. I was like, cool. It works. Yeah. Like we say these things and the nature of our worldview is that everyone's worldview is like if it serves you, that's all like, I'm good. And the only actual difference between our worldview and another worldview is that they believe their worldview is capital M. And we believe the worldview is little M meaning.

It's just that they're choosing to call it that rather than that the universe is that they have no insight into somehow has created. this meaning, even though there's a zillion galaxies and a zillion, you know, like, that's right. Mine is to recycle. Sure. Like, you know, whatever, right? And so, anyways, not to get, not to get into that tangent. But I-

Well, and I think one thing that for either of us, like, you know, we work with a ton of people that have all sorts of beliefs and all sorts of, you know, different purposes in life. And, you know, they ascribe meaning very differently than the two of us do. You know, it's probably contrary to most people that we work with. And that's because that's okay. That's okay. because we're not going to try and deconstruct their beliefs to feel that we're right and to defend ours.

And I think that that's the only issue amongst people who have different beliefs and different ways of seeing the world is when they try to just destroy someone else's so that they can defend their own so they can feel better and more secure. Yeah. And I think that's where a lot of the controversy comes from. It's just that people don't know how to disagree

without hating somebody. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Super love that point. We've had that conversation a million times where I think it defeats everybody's individual purpose when they try to put someone else's purpose down because they believe theirs is right. I mean, I'm super happy for anyone who's like living a fulfilled great life. They like their life. Like you believe in, you know, we're on like, we're from a different planet and we're starting.

So you believe that we're, you know, Christianity and God. Like, I don't care as long as you're happy. Like, do you? But you do think it's good and important. to have meaning whether it's Big M or Little M. Absolutely. Yeah, okay. And the differentiators between Little M and Big M is there is no difference besides the outside judgment of something that we don't know,

claiming that this one is the absolute truth. And then you get into like, well, then you're saying that your truth will have the Little M is the absolute truth. And you're going to get into all that. That's not my. I'm curious. You mentioned your friend who's a doctor. I believe he's a philosopher that you've mentioned in the past.

What are other sources of knowledge or content or thought that you guys each have, whether it's books, podcasts, you know, your favorite authors or whatever it is? I'm curious. It is. So I'll give you a little bit of background. So I mean, like I studied Apologetics for five years. I was very, very, very into the Christian faith for a very long period of time. And I think a lot of those viewpoints have influenced me.

I also really like a lot of the Stoics in general. And as silly as it sounds like, I've read lots of excerpt snippets. It hasn't been like Marcus Relius' book or his meditations or whatever. But a lot of it, I think, has been a self-guided path of, you know, what makes sense to us. And for everyone who is listening, if what we said, you don't agree with, you're right. And that's okay. And that's fine. Like, you are right.

And that's fine. You know, like, we don't claim to be right. this is what this is how we see the world and it has served as well um and it has helped us do what we want to do in a live life that we enjoy yeah you know it's tough for me because i used to consume a ton um like i i think i consider myself really studious and so like i would study a lot and read a ton of books and i honestly stopped in the last like two years because i realize that you spend a lot of time consuming rather than like really thinking for yourself and constructing your own thoughts and ideas about the world. And so I've spent a lot more time just thinking and

kind of creating and writing and frameworking my own thoughts about things just based on my own experiences. Because I think like humans were susceptible to other people's opinion. So like I am very careful about what I consume. I think the best advice I ever got was actually from our friend, you know, Dr. Cashie, who was like, you know, go read old books, right? Like the sources of all the new books. There's really no new information. It's all just said in a different way. And so, you know, reading the books that are, you know, on Stoics or like the first psychologists ever out there, like those kinds of things are kind of the root of those things, you know, the root of how you structure business, the root of human psychology, the root of all those things. I would rather

go to the source than to find a book that's, you know, kind of poofed up to just like sell. Most books people make, make money. Yeah, the older the problem, the older the solution. Right. Like so these are not new problems. Yeah, I mean, so they have old solutions that already exist. You ever read the book Guide to the Good Life? It's about stoicism. It's good. Just like a, I'd never learned about stoicism until I read the book, but I think I

prescribe to a lot of those thoughts. Is that right? Subscribe to a lot of thoughts. There to, yeah. There we go. Yeah. We ask this question to every couple who comes on the show. In business and in your personal lives and your personal lives and your

dating and marriage, if you were to give someone one piece of relationship advice, what would it be? I probably have like two. I'll go first. Be rational. And that's an incredibly loaded statement for most people because they can't be rational in general. But business, marriage, dating, you know, I think the reason that Layla and I had a very atypical

relationship when we met each other. We met and we had similar interest, which was the real spark. It was actually not romantic interest at all. And we weren't even sure if we were going to like really date, date. Like I think on our second date, it was like, you feel more like a friend. I like maniacally laughed. But everything changed. Yeah. But it was more like, does this rationally make sense? And the thing is, is a lot of times, if you can make rational decisions, when the emotions dissipate, all you have is the rational reasons that will remain. And the feelings towards a business, the feeling towards a person or your wife or your spouse, like the emotions will come and go.

But if the reasons that you chose the person are based in rationality, then those will remain when things get hard. And they will guarantee you get hard. And so I see the rational reasoning behind making decisions as the foundation and the bedrock. and the emotions are just the icing. But if you build your house, right, on the icing, it's just going to melt on a hot day. And so that's really, I think that the foundational, I mean, honestly, the foundational principles of our marriage

and our relationship in general is just trying to make rational, like doing our very best to make rational decisions. And when we do that, we continue to be happy with the outcomes on a long time run. Yeah. You know, I was going to say, I just think the game is one in the draft. So I think it's the same principles that apply to business. You know, it feels really hard when you don't have the right people on the team. I think the same for marriage. I think a lot of people get married because of sunk costs, for example. They've been in a relationship four years, five years. They think this is what we need to do rather than like, would I date this person if I met them today? And so I think a lot of people aren't willing to make the hard calls to, set themselves up for success later in their life. And I think that that's why, I mean, I think it's a lot of the reason that, like, marriages are failing nowadays, you know? It's like people are making these decisions based on feelings,

which feelings by their nature are fleeting. They're not making it, again, like, based on rational. Like, is this the person I could be partners for the rest of my life with? And it's like, those feelings disappear. And then you look and you're like, she's hot, but she's fucking crazy. Or like, you know, he's got money, but he's disgusting. You know? And so it's just like, I think at the end of the day, it's just like,

If you can put more effort into who you pick, there is less effort that you have to put into the merit. And today's show is brought to you by the one, the only AG1. We are getting ready to go on our first full family vacation. And it's probably... How long? Probably never. Well, yeah, we've never had two kids.

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and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance. We'll also link it down below and let's get back to it. Alex, you know, sales guru. Can you walk me through what was his pickup line and how did he propose? How did he, what was the salesmanship he used to win you? Big of line. There was a pick-up line. He approached me.

Okay. I had the prospect coming towards me. Yeah, no pick-up line, just like, can we get on a phone call, you know, whatever. You know, I think what was attractive in the beginning was his, I don't know if it was persistence or persistence in, like, interest, maybe. You know, it was like, we went on a date, and then he had, like, 20 minutes. We had to go grocery shopping for this dinner. And he was like, we left the date. And I remember the moment, all of a sudden I hear a knock on my window,

and I'm calling my friend and tell her how the date went is our first date. And then he's on the window. He's like, could you spend 20 more minutes with me and just come grocery shopping with me? And I thought it was like the cutest thing, not cute, what is sweet. He's like, we can just keep talking. And I was like, that's cool. So then we went and bought like steaks and potatoes and stuff. And then he went to cook me dinner at the second date and then told me,

went after bald of food that he doesn't know how to cook the dinner. He's like, we'll figure it out. But I think, you know. Did you actually not know how to cook at the dinner? Well, she cooked it, so it worked out one. I was really just foreshadowed him. Alex has never tried to be anybody but himself. Like, he's never tried to, what I really appreciate about Alex is, like,

he's just never compromised who he is to impress me or to try and, like, get me to think he's someone else. Like I remember there's like probably a few weeks into our relationship or dating whatever. And he like walked out of his room butt ass naked on the phone having like a business conversation just starts like doing stuff making a protein shake just butt ass naked. That's the pickup line. What do you mean? There was no pickup line.

That was like, lack of it. And I was like, what are you doing? And he was like, I always walk around naked. So like you're just kind of get used to it. I was like, this is so weird. Like you're like making a protein shake. You're on the phone. You're like, what is this?

And I'd like never met anyone. He was so comfortable just being naked. And I thought that was really cool. And then he would, when he got dressed, he would wear sweatpants and a white feeder. And I'm like, you don't want to get dressed up? And he's like, I don't give shit. And I was like, okay. You know, and like, I just, I was, I've always just loved about Alex and he's just like absolutely himself.

Like, he doesn't care what other people think, including me. And I think that's great. Like, I think he cares, I think of who he is as a person, but I wouldn't be with him if I didn't think he was a great person. And so it's just like, he's never tried to impress anybody but himself. And I think that that's always been what has attracted me to him. And then second to that is how he proposed was he just said, do you think it makes sense if we got married? It wasn't like a context. Yeah.

You can tell that part. Yeah. So I had been engaged right before I met Layla. And so I really was not in like, let's get into a relationship mode. And like the whole time we were dating, I was like, we're month to month. I was like, I was like, come on a rental basis here. We still are. Yeah, we still are month for month.

And so anyways, it got to the point where it was like, okay, this is like, this is the thing. And so I kind of like ended things on like open terms, if you know what I mean? It's kind of like messy like maybe in the future or whatever. I was like, I need to like tie this off. And so I can like be 100% in. And so I went to go basically five, spend the weekend with my, my, my, former fiance and Layla took that as we're breaking up and I took that. I would like go. Absolutely. Your former fiance. Okay. And I was like I'm going to end like I was like I'm

doing this to like end it and resolve it and be you know and like and be on a percent. But anyway, she just didn't believe me. And so she went and spent like the whole weekend like back home with her dad. Alex left me like blah, blah, blah. I come back and I like a bouquet of flowers and I was like here you go. And I think it would make sense if we got married. like what do you think and she said yeah and i was like okay well i guess we need to get you a ring then and so then we went we got in the car went to the store got a ring came back 45 minutes later and i was like i guess we should pick a church and so we went you know i called up uh like the local pastor and he's like are you sure like this seems fast and i was like yeah you free wednesday and was

like yeah meet me after the service no way went to the back got married without anybody no parents no nothing and we told everybody later wow how soon after you started dating i'm curious from 11 months was it 11 right no it was 13 um true or false uh

Alex's bumble picture had a hat a wife beater and a breathe right strip Layla false I would say like a shirtless pick up him in the pool

I'm college I'm okay I have last question I was going to to keep going. I was just going to run over the one o'clock. How firm is your, are you guys hard out at one? Yes. No, we're going to keep rolling. No, we're a hard out at one. Frick. We have children. We have children. Um, so we heard from Kristen kind of what it was and what it is about you, Alex. What is it for you about Layla? Yeah, Layla's made of steel. Um,

and that's, I mean, that was, that was, that was the things. I mean, like, I can, rather than talk but that I think giving you two examples is probably more meaningful. And so when I basically had my entire life tumbling around me like nine months after we had met, so this is like not nine months, probably like six months after we had met. Because we were living together five weeks

after we met in motels. So I was trying to do this new thing called gym launch. And so we were flying out. A number of things happened. I got into a DUI head on collision. My mother was sick in the hospital. I had seven business. our eight businesses at the time with different partners,

which was a horrendous mess. I just lost all of my money that I'd put into one of the business partnerships after selling out some of the other ones. And then the processing that we had for our new businesses got shut down and she just asked six of her friends to put their job to join us. And I had $1,000 and our cost for the new business

was $3,300 a day. And so I kind of sat down with Lail And I was like, this has a very low likelihood of succeeding. Like the chance of success here is quite low. And I said, she was like, you know, this is your out. Like if you, it's like, we're cool. Like, I will respect you. I appreciate you.

And like, if we leave, if you want to leave now, we're cool. And that's when she kind of just leaned in and was like, I sleep with you and her bridge and it came to that. And so that was when I knew that, like, she was in, you know. And that was my moment of knowing that I like, this was the girl I was going to be with. The second one happened earlier in our relationship, which is right when I lost everything the first time. Winner. We had, I needed, basically, we broke up, essentially.

And it wasn't even a breakup. It was like, I was so stressed out of my mind because I had all those things I just talked to you about happened all within like 90 days. Alex just, like, stopped communicating. And I loved gym one day. I was like, do you want to, like, not be together? And he was like, yeah. I just, like, shut down. I was, like, so beyond maxed out in terms of my mental capacity.

I just, I had no room for anything. I was trying to put out 100 fires. And so anyway, she went to go launch a gym because she still worked for me technically. And so she wants to go launch this gym, like basically right after we, you know, kind of broke up. And she had no real future after just quitting her job of like three years and building up her entire book of personal training clients that she, had left behind to join me, which was a really shitty situation for her. And so she went out and just murdered the launch. And I really needed the money that was going to come from this. And so I don't remember how much I had, but it was 10 grand to send her there. I don't think I had

that much more than 10 grand. And so it was like, you need to put the team on your back because I have to put all these other fires out and like you need to go make the money for this, this launch, which is like a hundred grand. And she killed it. She set the record for sales still to this day for like a 28-day period of time. And that cash is what ended up getting me out of a lot of the messes that I was in. So I could just be broke rather than below broke. But it was so it was just when things got hard, she got harder.

And I think that the people that I had in my life at that point, I was accustomed to always being the one putting team on my back. And I was fine with that. I didn't really think there was another way to do it. And so when she did that, I was like, man, there's two of us. And so that was when it was much more. And I think Layla and I have said this probably before. But in the Bible, there's only one thing they talk about the entire Bible in terms

of selecting a mate. The rest of it is on how to manage the mate you picked. but there's only one thing on selecting the mate and it's you want to pick someone you'd go to war with and I think that if people use that as their actual frame that they would do much better in the pick and when I looked at it through that frame there was no one else that I'd rather be beside me

and so that was why Layla is the one that I married wow that was the best answer we've gotten so yeah good luck Layla okay okay fine. I'm curious, Alex, you just unpacked a lot there. What do you accredit, though, you being able to turn your life around and getting to where you are, as opposed to ending up like every other person who's gotten to DUI had failed businesses, et cetera, et cetera,

which is like, you know, mediocrity. Just a decision to continue when it's hard. And I think for me, I was very, very fear driven. And the fear of failure, the fear of judgment that I perceive from the outside, especially for me from my father, was like, that was more difficult and painful than anything that the world could throw up in. And so for me, I kind of clung onto that pain as my barometer for the pain I was willing to endure to continue. and so I think I thought about this a lot at that time of my life it was a repeated you know frame of mind that I'll share I haven't thought about it much recently because I haven't needed to but it's amazing what you can accomplish when you have no choice and so like when you think about like the atrocities that have happened from one human to another you look at slavery you look at you know mass genocide things like that the things that people go through in those circles circumstances, they are able to weather it. And they're able to weather it because they don't have a choice. And so if you remove the choice, which was the decision that I said at the beginning, then you really only have one path to take, which is just to continue and to endure

and to hope that someday it will be better. And they just continue to strive towards them. That's deep. It reminds me of man's search for meaning. 100% yeah great book last I'm just going to keep asking questions until I'm told not to you have to wrap it so so you have to wrap I mean they work it on time you both being matter of fact and logical

are words that I've heard multiple times is that mutually exclusive with being romantic do you mean like are we like that romantic can can one be matter of fact and logical and at the same time romantic is Alex romantic is what I'm trying to say. Yeah, I mean, I think it's just a... In my own way.

Yeah, I think who we are, romance in its own way, it's just a different dynamic for us. You know, I think our tone of voice changes, how we talk to each other changes, you know, the things we do together changes. I think that's more how I would... I wouldn't even like think, like, how is he a matter of fact? I mean, I think we're pretty upfront about like our desires

and our needs with one each other or one another. but um i don't anything i think it's just the switching gears between you know business you and and husband you and so like for me like my literal tone of voice goes up when i'm talking more like in in husband me i'm definitely cutesyer uh that i wouldn't i probably wouldn't put on my youtube um you know with leila behind closed doors you know we make sillier jokes and make faces at each other and like that's you know i think it's especially like with how we are now I mean, I think it's just like, like, Alex is the only person I feel like I can be my like

absolute most vulnerable self with, right? And I think that that's like where real romance is created is when you're just able to be yourself and not be fearful, right? It's like a complete feeling of safety and security that that person isn't going to judge you for how you act what you do in that like safe space with each other. And so I think that we absolutely agree that. It's just it's learning to switch between the business and the personal. And I think that we've become really good at it. it's hard in the beginning. Yeah, because we actually, business came natural to us. Like, so that was actually the easy part.

The harder part was creating that romance. And so we were, you know, big believers in Tony Robbins stuff where it's like, you can, you can do love, right? You can do the actions that create love. It's much more difficult to do the actions that create respect. You know what I mean? And so I think that foundationally, the rational reason that we picked one another is because we both respected one another.

And so it's a, it is a relationship based on respect, not love. the love we've learned. But I think a lot of people, it's much more difficult to go the other direction and have love and which, you know, for most people is just chemical chemicals in their brains that are just filling up. And then when those chemicals dump out after, you know, 24 months, there's just nothing. Besides some cost of being together for a long time. Was it always very clear that you guys wanted to get like marriage was the right play for

you guys as opposed to it was always it? I think that we always made our decisions. in the context of if we don't see one another work if we don't see this working in the long term we're not going to stay in the short time we both have approached it that way yeah i don't think either of us like wanted to to stay in something that didn't have yeah any vision to it so we both went on like i mean she went on a lot more than i did but like lots of dates and i think a lot of people go in like one date and they're like yeah i guess we can just keep doing see how it feels like if we know that we're not going to be with someone we're just willing to do the short term discomfort of saying

I don't think it's going to work. Wish you the best. Most people don't want to be alone. They'd rather find somebody who's like it than like take the time to really find someone that they like really just like would rather be with than be alone. And I think that that actually is one of the big reasons why a lot of people can't find can't. And I'm saying that with like it's a strong word to say, but can't find good relationships

because they cannot be alone with themselves and therefore pick whatever is in front of them because they all. So like the strength you have in negotiation is based on the options that you have outside. And so if your options outside are really poor because you hate yourself, then it's very difficult to make a good negotiation choice because you'll always take whatever deal is in front of you because you have no other options. And so we have to create the optionality for ourselves by being willing to be alone and be happy being alone so that we only move towards something that is better than our current state. And for many people, better than their lonely current state is whatever they have, which is why they make the rational, I'll use quotes here, choice of being with the person they have. because the only thing worse than their terrible marriage is how they are alone. And so I think how high you can ascend your marriage is predicated on how much, how comfortable

you all are with yourself. We've actually seen that firsthand with friends of ours who are so desperate to find someone that it's almost like they can't because if we have any suggestion or someone has a suggestion, they're like, absolutely, I'll go on a date. Are they wife material? Let's do it. And it's like, that's not how it works. Like, you should probably work on yourself first and then actually think of what it is you want, not just take whatever's out there.

You're like cannibalizing your own desire, but like clinging too tightly. Maybe I don't know. Okay. Last question. And then we got to let them go. Okay. I got a couple more. No.

You can ask your last question. No. So it was going to be lighthearted. And this will be the wrapping question. We will have you guys on for a second interview. about that um what is because we've asked it for it what is your biggest pet pee with each other mine for Andrew is he uses paper towels all the time for his hands whatever it is and he will set it on the counter next to the trash can called being resourceful you guys familiar with this

concept let it dry so let it dry for sure for sure it's going to start an argument we could just in the episode. No, I'm trying to think. I think I know yours. Yeah, go for it. You say you're, yeah. Well, I mean, there's two. There's one.

His nose strips that gets up everywhere. So I get some rest with nose strips. And I like, I like, I'm walking. It like ends up on my fucking foot. And I'm like, what? And then probably just like you forget personal hygiene sometimes. So like, Alex, we forget to brush his teeth for a few days. And I'm just like, bro.

He does the same thing. And then he gets mad at me. when I'm like, babe, your breast smells bad. And he's like, why are you always coming at me? I'm like, okay, you haven't brushed your teeth in a week. Come on. It's funny, because Alex will just run and be like, oh, really? It's that bad?

I'm like, yeah. He's like, okay. And then he goes and runs and does it. But it was something that like, I would be like, how have you not showered in three days? And he's like, I just forgot. Yeah, that's him. Also, I will say the Braithwright strips. So Andrew just started trying to use mouth tape.

Have you seen this stuff? I was actually going to start using that myself. I think this would have to recommend it. Highly recommend. Hold up. No. No, it's a terrible review from the wife's side because he tries wearing it and loses it every night.

And he's like, where'd my mouth tape go? And I'm like, I don't know. He's found it on his legs before. I found it on my, like on me. I'm like, this is disgusting. No more mouth tape. When it stays, though, it's actually amazing. Like, just it forces,

to breathe out of your nose, but not in like a uncomfortable way. So I would try it out for sure. Has it ever stayed on your mouth yet? Yes, I made it through a night. I'm trying like, I mean, I could think of some. Yeah, go for it. Yeah, I'm like, I start cleaning up around you when you're not done. Like, if I spray windex near Alex. That I, okay. So that, that, that is that I do, I do not like that. Yeah. So I'm like, I'm eating stuff. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like breathing in wind. It's like, calm down. I was like, I don't think of like two minutes. Like, or If I wear perfume that he doesn't like, like Alex is a super smell guy.

I'm a big smell guy. If I do something around him that doesn't smell like how he wants. Like if I spray perfume and then he's like, I have to go eat lunch. What are you doing? And I'm like, what does me having perfume? I was like, I don't want to bite the Chanel 9. You know what I mean?

Like I want to like eat a sub right. It's definitely smell related. So like if she like, I mean, literally spraying around the food that I'm eating. My biggest one. See, I'm the hard person where I'm the smell person. I'm all about smells, but he also has the hygiene issue. So I'm like, this is just a bad combo. We'll be in like a Tinder, tender moment.

And she'll be like, you smell terrible. And I'm like, you just ruined any, you just ruined it. I just am like, that's musk, baby. I was like, I've tried that and it's just. Man, ancient man, this was Cologne. This is like, other pheromones right now are going nuts. Funny story is we went to Bear Lake in Utah, it's like the place we like going. And he was like, you just need to try this and not shower anything.

I swear, after a day, you just like don't feel it. You don't. Okay, we're not around anyone. There's like 40,000 people in this town, like on high season. And so I was like, okay. So we stay there and I didn't shower for like three or four days. And like it was actually true, which is like by day two, I didn't feel like I wasn't power through it.

It was weird. It's gross. And it's healthier for your hair. It's good. You can shower and not wash. your hair so you just got to yeah on the bear lake comment what other hobbies do you guys enjoy together i'm gonna keep going i told you that was a big that's not a real that's a piggyback that's a little add-on right that's exactly we love traveling together i think that's probably

one of our fun yeah we love traveling we're trying new restaurants together you know i think we like doing uh like friend vacations like we go with friends we all stay in the same big house together it's one of our favorite things to do like we'll sleepovers yeah slumber party um yeah i that's i mean we work we work out and we eat out and that's kind of like what our day is every day and then we go on vacations we're like workcations like we work when we travel like we just like to be around you work out together no but like we we both have the hobby of working you know we sometimes if neither of us are following a split like i'll be like hey can i just like do what you're doing yeah i'll just follow Alex i like go through phases where i'll do that

get school yeah but i don't like bug him because i mean i don't use much way it's we can't work out together Sean mentioned the coaching thing earlier and that's whenever we work out it's just like her critiquing my form I'm like it's not go away I've been doing this your body oh my gosh

anyway all right we'll let you go but for those listening who are unfamiliar with Alex and Layla I highly recommend checking out their YouTube channels their Instagram profiles

we'll link it all down below but they share a ton of useful information very informative very helpful. And as you just heard over the last hour and 15 minutes, they're super thoughtful and introspective. So Alex Layla, appreciate you joining us on the show. I'm just going to call dibs on part two in person. But thank you. Thank you guys for having us. Thank you. Yeah, thank you guys.