Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew - 112 relationship advice for instagram
Episode Date: April 27, 2022You asked, we answered! We are not professionals in any way but we wanted to give you guys our take on your questions! Hope you enjoy! TSA rules: https://www.mamava.com/mamava-blog/tsa-rights-with-br...east-milk We are sponsored by these companies that we love. Check them out below: Athletic Greens ▶ visit athleticgreens.com/eastfam to take ownership of your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance! Subscribe for more! http://bit.ly/3rnOdNo Follow Our Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/couplething... Follow My Instagram ▶ http://www.instagram.com/ShawnJohnson Like the Facebook page! ▶ http://www.facebook.com/ShawnJohnson Follow My Instagram ▶ http://www.instagram.com/AndrewDEast Like the Facebook page! ▶ http://www.facebook.com/AndrewDEast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
 Transcript
 Discussion  (0)
    
                                        This episode is brought to you by Defender.
                                         
                                        With a towing capacity of 3,500 kilograms and a waiting depth of 900 millimeters,
                                         
                                        the Defender 110 pushes what's possible.
                                         
                                        Learn more at landrover.ca.
                                         
                                        Here's the answer that I think we both agree with.
                                         
                                        Okay.
                                         
                                        When you're parents, two kids, you are teammates.
                                         
                                        You have to be able to ask your teammate for help.
                                         
    
                                        Yes.
                                         
                                        And you can't ever feel guilty about it.
                                         
                                        Yes.
                                         
                                        Period.
                                         
                                        I agree.
                                         
                                        Don't try to figure out the strategy of the war while you're in the battle.
                                         
                                        You like that?
                                         
                                        You like that.
                                         
    
                                        Come on.
                                         
                                        I just came up with that, dude.
                                         
                                        You're just such a.
                                         
                                        Do you think I'm like, you're a genius, babe?
                                         
                                        What's up, everybody?
                                         
                                        Welcome back to a couple things.
                                         
                                        Sean and Andrew.
                                         
                                        A podcast all about couples.
                                         
    
                                        And the things they go through.
                                         
                                        Today, for some reason, you have asked us to give you advice.
                                         
                                        That's right.
                                         
                                        I think it's going to be a fun one.
                                         
                                        I hope so.
                                         
                                        I feel like our number one role is we don't.
                                         
                                        preach and we don't teach. So we're just going to give you our experience, whether it worked or
                                         
                                        not, maybe it will help you. Yeah, we're going to be given some fun stories, but I will say this.
                                         
    
                                        Sean does more research than any other mom that I've ever met. So you do have some really key
                                         
                                        insight. I'm excited for you to share. So what happened is we asked you on Instagram what you wanted
                                         
                                        us to talk about as far as like advice. So how do you fly on a plane with babies or how do you,
                                         
                                        what's your sleep routine. We're going to go through about a dozen, maybe like 15 different
                                         
                                        topics and give you what we've learned through them. Before we get started, we do want to remind
                                         
                                        you that we are not counselors or therapists or really anyone who is trained in any professional
                                         
                                        field. So take this as our experience and not a prescription. That's right. But for those of
                                         
                                        you have asked, here is our advice. Oh boy. Let's jump into it.
                                         
    
                                        First on the table, babe, is someone asked our advice on flying in an airplane with babies.
                                         
                                        Okay, this is funny because one of my best friends, Lauren Morford, that I grew up with, went to kindergarten with, asked me this exact question because she's doing her first flight with her baby of four months.
                                         
                                        And there's just a lot here.
                                         
                                        There's a lot to talk about.
                                         
                                        I'll try to summarize quickly.
                                         
                                        I'm excited.
                                         
                                        What to pack.
                                         
                                        You don't really have to pack anything.
                                         
    
                                        anything out of the ordinary for a plane that you wouldn't just pack to like go to the zoo like
                                         
                                        you should pack milk if you're not breastfeeding or snacks you're talking about pack a diaper bag
                                         
                                        for the plane yeah pack a diaper bag for the plane that includes the following a couple toys or
                                         
                                        distractions um snacks which you can also buy in the airport and milk or i mean that kind of goes
                                         
                                        along with the snacks milk formula whatever it is you need maybe take a pump if you need if you're
                                         
                                        breastfeeding or pumping, anything like that.
                                         
                                        I would say feed a bottle of some kind, whether it's like a sippy cup or a bottle of breast milk
                                         
                                        or formula during takeoff and landing because it helps kind of adjust their ears.
                                         
    
                                        And one thought that I had is the planes in my mind are the best time to break out the iPad.
                                         
                                        I feel like if your kid is at the age where they appreciate that, hook them up with the iPad.
                                         
                                        They don't even need headphones or anything.
                                         
                                        and just give them a scream to look at.
                                         
                                        My main concern is, like, getting them through it somewhat distracted and in a way that
                                         
                                        doesn't make your experience miserable because you have a screaming kid, you know.
                                         
                                        I also think to a certain extent, try if you can to plan your flights kind of around the kid's
                                         
                                        schedules.
                                         
    
                                        So don't try to fly a red eye with your kid because they're not going to sleep.
                                         
                                        It just doesn't work that way.
                                         
                                        Don't, like, plan it like, oh, the plane's going to become their bed.
                                         
                                        It doesn't work.
                                         
                                        Kids don't like to sleep on planes.
                                         
                                        Plan it during the day so that when you get home,
                                         
                                        you can put them down for a nap or for bedtime
                                         
                                        and just expect that instead of resting on the plane,
                                         
    
                                        you're just going to be like interactive with your kids playing
                                         
                                        and distracting them the whole time.
                                         
                                        Yeah, I will say one thing.
                                         
                                        I think you skipped there was a bottle warmer.
                                         
                                        Back when you were like pumping,
                                         
                                        it was really helpful for Sean to have some type of way to warm bottles.
                                         
                                        If you don't have that,
                                         
                                        then you can ask the flight attendant for hot water.
                                         
    
                                        They make coffee on planes or like the restaurant.
                                         
                                        and the airport have that too.
                                         
                                        I will say I ended up like investing in this like portable water warmer and it actually
                                         
                                        was just easier to ask the stewardesses for like hot water that I would put in a cup and
                                         
                                        set the bottle inside.
                                         
                                        So yeah.
                                         
                                        Or on the opposite side, if you pump, if you need to keep something cold, ask people for ice.
                                         
                                        Like just ask for help.
                                         
    
                                        And then Naps, the way we handled Naps with Drew on the plane, she was definitely.
                                         
                                        off her normal schedule but we just had her
                                         
                                        I mean that's when she had a meltdown
                                         
                                        was when she was tired and couldn't fall asleep
                                         
                                        because it was outside her normal environment
                                         
                                        but she ended up falling asleep
                                         
                                        straddling Sean or like we just
                                         
                                        held her like in a cradle position
                                         
    
                                        and she seemed to do okay.
                                         
                                        Yeah I again I think just
                                         
                                        understanding that like
                                         
                                        it's not your house and it's
                                         
                                        not a crib so
                                         
                                        it's going to be different. Also
                                         
                                        pack lots of wipes because Drew
                                         
                                        had this thing where she wanted to just eat
                                         
    
                                        the seats so like it's helpful to sanitize things yeah do that to list a couple more things okay so
                                         
                                        if you are traveling with an infant um we don't have to go into explanation but mamava m-a-ma-v-a is an app
                                         
                                        you can download it will show you anywhere in the country where there is like a nursing pumping
                                         
                                        or mom station which really helps like i i use that to find a place at a baseball stadium like close
                                         
                                        to a gas station on in an airport all these things and then
                                         
                                        Milk stork is something that I used a lot.
                                         
                                        It's kind of pricey, but it actually is really awesome to use.
                                         
                                        It's a way to kind of ship and travel with a ton of breast milk if you're pumping or trying to travel with that.
                                         
    
                                        Can you talk about breast milk through TSA?
                                         
                                        Breast milk through TSA.
                                         
                                        So we'll try to link down below the like sheet that I have, but there are TSA laws that protect breast milk and mamas.
                                         
                                        you are allowed to travel with breast milk through TSA
                                         
                                        at like up to a hundred and some ounces
                                         
                                        so not just like your four ounce bottles of liquids
                                         
                                        like shampoo and conditioner you can travel with up to like a hundred
                                         
                                        your breast milk does not have to be x-rayed
                                         
    
                                        and does not have to be opened and tested
                                         
                                        so yes I posted something on social media a while ago
                                         
                                        about my TSA experience I kind of got in an argument
                                         
                                        with a TSA agent because they wanted
                                         
                                        to open every single container and actually physically test the liquid.
                                         
                                        That is not a law.
                                         
                                        So you don't have to.
                                         
                                        So you just have to kind of voice that.
                                         
    
                                        They just have to do extra screening on you and all the bags that you're carrying.
                                         
                                        And then the last thing I wanted to talk about was strollers, which we've tried all
                                         
                                        the strollers out there.
                                         
                                        The two that we prefer are the up a baby.
                                         
                                        That's pricey, obviously.
                                         
                                        But I like that one.
                                         
                                        It's larger and bulkier.
                                         
                                        But for an airport, it's helpful because it has a little undercarriage where you can
                                         
    
                                        throw bags and it just there's so much clutter when you're going through an airport or on a
                                         
                                        plane with kids that it's nice to have one spot to to keep things then the other is the duna is that
                                         
                                        right the duna where it's like a car seat and stroller in one that just kind of folds up really
                                         
                                        nicely that's that's nice to be portable and we've taken jet on the airplane in the duna which works
                                         
                                        out well so that's kind of my high level thoughts if you have deeper questions just deem to us and
                                         
                                        we're happy to answer it a lot more that we could go there's a lot that goes into it but if i had
                                         
                                        summarize it. It sounds overwhelming initially. You'll get there. You'll do it once. It'll be a little
                                         
                                        stressful. But then you'll realize, you know what? This is totally doable. And my life doesn't need to
                                         
    
                                        be plainless for the rest of my child rearing years. Plainless. Because it is overwhelming.
                                         
                                        It is overwhelming. However, for anybody who's gone on a long road trip, that's overwhelming.
                                         
                                        It's no different. It's just ripped the bandit off. It's a plane. And it's just something new.
                                         
                                        And if your kid has a meltdown on the plane and some,
                                         
                                        Someone has an opinion or gives you a face.
                                         
                                        I will say I used to get somewhat annoyed by crying kids on planes.
                                         
                                        Now I just have empathy for the parents.
                                         
                                        I just want to go over and be like, do you want me to take them?
                                         
    
                                        I know that you're stressed and nobody wants this.
                                         
                                        You can get protein at home or a protein latte at Tim's.
                                         
                                        No powders, no blenders, no shakers.
                                         
                                        Starting at 17 grams per medium latte, Tim's new protein lattes,
                                         
                                        protein without all the work at participating restaurants in Canada.
                                         
                                        Okay, anyway.
                                         
                                        Next one.
                                         
                                        I'm going to do the next one on my own because Andrew and I got an argument.
                                         
    
                                        Last time we tried to film this podcast because of this one.
                                         
                                        And we had the same answer.
                                         
                                        I don't know why we kept using the wrong words.
                                         
                                        How to ask your husband or spouse for a break with the kids.
                                         
                                        I'm a stay-at-home mom and he works all day long.
                                         
                                        So I feel guilty asking him to help.
                                         
                                        Here's the answer that I think we both agree with.
                                         
                                        Okay.
                                         
    
                                        When you're parents, two kids, you are teammates.
                                         
                                        you have to be able to ask your teammate for help.
                                         
                                        Yes.
                                         
                                        And you can't ever feel guilty about it.
                                         
                                        Yes.
                                         
                                        Period.
                                         
                                        I agree.
                                         
                                        I agree.
                                         
    
                                        Next one.
                                         
                                        Relationship advice for when a partner is suffering with anxiety or depression.
                                         
                                        Okay.
                                         
                                        So I was super anxious when I was trying out for the NFL just like from, it was like performance anxiety.
                                         
                                        Anytime I had practice, I would be locked up.
                                         
                                        You remember that?
                                         
                                        I do.
                                         
                                        And Sean was so encouraging.
                                         
    
                                        She was patient.
                                         
                                        She wasn't trying to jam anything down my throat or tell me, hey, it's okay.
                                         
                                        You got this.
                                         
                                        She was just there for me and actually didn't need to say really anything.
                                         
                                        Maybe my love language is touch.
                                         
                                        But like it felt like you just holding my hand and being with me was your way of showing support.
                                         
                                        So like even though you are solution oriented and you did want to like, hey, let me throw this psychologist at you or this solution at you.
                                         
                                        Like you were just there and you let me do it.
                                         
    
                                        And it didn't, because I feel like there's a world that exists where the other person's so anxious about trying to help the other person with anxiety that it just kind of snowballs the effect.
                                         
                                        So just try to be a calming presence is what works for me.
                                         
                                        You did a great job at that and I'm appreciative of it.
                                         
                                        I think anxiety and depression or anything when it comes to mental illness in that category can always feel very isolating.
                                         
                                        They can always feel like, oh, they just don't understand or, oh, they're just not going to get it.
                                         
                                        And I think as a spouse, the best relationship advice I was given is just love them and be there for them.
                                         
                                        Don't be like, don't think to yourself, oh, it will pass.
                                         
                                        It'll be fine.
                                         
    
                                        No, like, like Andrew said, be there with them.
                                         
                                        And you don't have to try to fix it.
                                         
                                        But just make sure your spouse knows no matter what it is they're going through, it will be.
                                         
                                        like it'll be okay and we'll be together yeah that being said usually it is a phase right yeah and
                                         
                                        now i look back on that phase of our life with fond memories like even though in the in the middle of it
                                         
                                        it was torture and i wanted out of that situation so bad i'm like wow what a special time of bonding
                                         
                                        for sean and i to get to know each other in a different way so if that was you that asked that question
                                         
                                        you got this next up the question is where the statement is the first year
                                         
    
                                        as first-time parents,
                                         
                                        they're struggling to not fight all the time.
                                         
                                        The first few months is a grind.
                                         
                                        I talk about this all the time.
                                         
                                        There's just so many new logistics introduced.
                                         
                                        There's so many new stress points
                                         
                                        where you have this baby who like needs care
                                         
                                        and each parent is coming at it
                                         
    
                                        from different cultural backgrounds
                                         
                                        and different, you know,
                                         
                                        role like parental roles.
                                         
                                        And also you have the fact that every day you wake up
                                         
                                        probably earlier than you were expecting to, like at 3 a.m.
                                         
                                        And you're not waking up to like a calm alarm clock.
                                         
                                        It's a crying baby that wakes you up.
                                         
                                        And for us, we have sound machines and you're trying to have this conversation.
                                         
    
                                        You can't hear each other.
                                         
                                        There's a, and it's probably a poopy diaper.
                                         
                                        It's your first action that you have to change.
                                         
                                        There's just a lot of like variables that are new and you haven't done before.
                                         
                                        So fighting, there will be some conflict.
                                         
                                        But as long as you're going through the conflict with the mindset of, hey, you know what, we're two parents who have really different unspoken expectations.
                                         
                                        And the goal of this conflict is to try to get us closer to being on the same page.
                                         
                                        You're going to be fine, right?
                                         
    
                                        And there is hope.
                                         
                                        I think I would, like, I think of it like this.
                                         
                                        So when you get married, when you get engaged and married, you spend quite a bit of time figuring each other.
                                         
                                        out like it takes years to be like okay i'm the clean one you're the dirty one this is how we're
                                         
                                        going to compromise this is how we're going to like do life together you look you start learning that
                                         
                                        through the dating phase and everything but then when you have a kid instead of having the
                                         
                                        luxury of figuring a kid out over the course of years you have to figure a baby out in the
                                         
                                        course of days like you have to figure out is that a hungry cry is that whatever it is and i think
                                         
    
                                        because you both love that kid so much.
                                         
                                        It just makes tension really, really high.
                                         
                                        So I would say reiterate your affection to your spouse in the early phase.
                                         
                                        And kind of don't say anything else.
                                         
                                        And know that it's a phase.
                                         
                                        And it will, it's just a season.
                                         
                                        It'll go.
                                         
                                        It'll come and go.
                                         
    
                                        But it's also like the greatest season ever.
                                         
                                        Honestly, I feel like you and I are just exiting that season where Jets now nine months.
                                         
                                        and we tell each other all the time through that new baby phase,
                                         
                                        like, hey, we're a team, you know?
                                         
                                        And it's good to remind each other of that
                                         
                                        because there's so many variables that are happening.
                                         
                                        But a couple of things that come to mind are remind each other
                                         
                                        that you know how this fight ends
                                         
    
                                        and that's with you two still married.
                                         
                                        Remind each other that you love each other,
                                         
                                        that you are still each other's number one,
                                         
                                        that you're on the same team.
                                         
                                        I think because it's such a new world
                                         
                                        and so foreign to both of you,
                                         
                                        it's terrifying and you have to know that, like,
                                         
                                        you're in it together.
                                         
    
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        And also try not to think of the strategy of the war
                                         
                                        while you're in a battle.
                                         
                                        Does that make sense?
                                         
                                        You love your analogies.
                                         
                                        I do.
                                         
                                        Here's why.
                                         
                                        Don't, if there's a crying baby,
                                         
    
                                        don't try to be, like, figuring out the big picture solution
                                         
                                        that you want to move forward with.
                                         
                                        It's like get through that immediate situation.
                                         
                                        And then you can be like, hey, can we talk tonight about what we want to do with how long we're going to let the baby cry?
                                         
                                        You know what I'm saying?
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        And that's just a way more effective way to actually move forward with figuring out a solution than trying to do it while the baby's crying.
                                         
                                        So don't try to figure out the strategy of the war while you're in the battle.
                                         
    
                                        You like that?
                                         
                                        You like that.
                                         
                                        You like that.
                                         
                                        You're just such a cheek.
                                         
                                        You're a genius, babe.
                                         
                                        Okay, next one.
                                         
                                        The next one.
                                         
                                        oh boy how to know if your best guy friend likes you this question is so frustrating to me
                                         
    
                                        the guy i think you got to shoot your shot it's like if if a guy likes someone or if you like
                                         
                                        someone i feel like it should be made known yeah what are your thoughts i don't know i i don't know
                                         
                                        I don't think that there are platonic relationships
                                         
                                        where a boy can just be a friend with a girl.
                                         
                                        I just don't, in my experience, that hasn't been.
                                         
                                        Controversial.
                                         
                                        I know.
                                         
                                        I know.
                                         
    
                                        Hot take, but more than likely he probably does like you.
                                         
                                        I have the conversation and be like, hey, I've wanted to touch base.
                                         
                                        I know that's, that's like dicey because you could damage the relationship.
                                         
                                        But like, am I reading this situation?
                                         
                                        wrong?
                                         
                                        I think it's probably all very gray lines because it's like you obviously like each other
                                         
                                        enough to be friends for some reason, right?
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
    
                                        So then what's stopping you from admiring the person more?
                                         
                                        Exactly my point.
                                         
                                        I'm saying.
                                         
                                        Exactly my point.
                                         
                                        I am a big fan of candid and crucial conversation.
                                         
                                        Do you think there's a world in which friendships can exist where it's kind of.
                                         
                                        kind of been like a dress and it's like yeah but this isn't gonna ever be a thing so can we be
                                         
                                        friends hmm I don't know I don't know you don't know maybe do you have any girl friends
                                         
    
                                        girls who are friends well we work with almost exclusively girls so what do you say
                                         
                                        am I cool with them are they yes but like am I going to call Alexie up and be like
                                         
                                        Hey, you want to go on a walk just you and I to the park?
                                         
                                        No.
                                         
                                        Does that make sense?
                                         
                                        Yeah, but like your friends.
                                         
                                        Would you be down for that?
                                         
                                        No.
                                         
    
                                        Lexi's like, no.
                                         
                                        That's what I'm saying.
                                         
                                        It's like there's just not.
                                         
                                        But you would consider Lexi a friend.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        So that's what I'm saying.
                                         
                                        I think it can exist.
                                         
                                        It just.
                                         
    
                                        There's levels.
                                         
                                        I think to a certain extent, hear me out on this style.
                                         
                                        Here we go, Sean.
                                         
                                        Edit all this out.
                                         
                                        We need.
                                         
                                        I think.
                                         
                                        Every relationship that happens, like friendship or more,
                                         
                                        immediately starts out with like, could this person be a spouse or like, whatever?
                                         
    
                                        This is getting wild.
                                         
                                        I love it.
                                         
                                        I love it.
                                         
                                        I think it's like, like, he's mortified.
                                         
                                        I think it's like subconscious, though, because it's like, you just like decide immediately.
                                         
                                        And all of a sudden it's like, we're friends or bros.
                                         
                                        That's funny.
                                         
                                        I think there's probably a.
                                         
    
                                        large group of people that would agree with you.
                                         
                                        I think there's a filter there.
                                         
                                        All right.
                                         
                                        Well, Lexi's mortified.
                                         
                                        If that was you to ask the question.
                                         
                                        Lexi, did you filter my husband?
                                         
                                        Moving on.
                                         
                                        Pumpkin is here at Starbucks and we're making it just the way you like.
                                         
    
                                        Handcrafted with real ingredients like our real pumpkin sauce and rich espresso
                                         
                                        sprinkled with pumpkin spice.
                                         
                                        It's full of real flavors you'll keep coming back for.
                                         
                                        Made just for you at Starbucks.
                                         
                                        Next question is next time.
                                         
                                        Topic, I should say.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        How to encourage your family and kids to eat healthy.
                                         
    
                                        My gosh, this is topical.
                                         
                                        Should I take this one?
                                         
                                        Hit it.
                                         
                                        Okay.
                                         
                                        I have a lot of, this could be an entire podcast.
                                         
                                        How to encourage your family and kids eat healthy.
                                         
                                        It's very simple.
                                         
                                        By example.
                                         
    
                                        You don't preach it.
                                         
                                        You don't overemphasize it.
                                         
                                        You don't make it consequential.
                                         
                                        sure you don't make it like a do this and not that you don't associate status like nothing just
                                         
                                        do it by example that's it you're really big on not making it guilty or shameful never yeah
                                         
                                        it should never be we can't eat candy because it's bad for you no it's like yeah we can eat candy
                                         
                                        but I'm going to lead by influence to our kids that that shouldn't be your entire regimen of food.
                                         
                                        A couple of things that I've noticed Sean has done is because I came from a family.
                                         
    
                                        I ate like bowls of cereal growing up pretty much.
                                         
                                        That was like my breakfast and lunch.
                                         
                                        And then we would do candy dinners where like the Boston baked beans were the beans.
                                         
                                        And then we would do the twizzler strings of spaghetti.
                                         
                                        not all the time but I'm saying
                                         
                                        Wow
                                         
                                        Did you know this?
                                         
                                        I did not know this
                                         
    
                                        It was epic dude
                                         
                                        Candy dinners hot take
                                         
                                        Are a fun activity for kids
                                         
                                        But what Sean has done
                                         
                                        That I've gleaned
                                         
                                        And has just
                                         
                                        Slowly morphed me into
                                         
                                        Someone who eats healthier
                                         
    
                                        It's like it's just a lifestyle
                                         
                                        Like to her point of just leading by example
                                         
                                        She goes to the grocery store
                                         
                                        And she'll buy healthier products
                                         
                                        And initially it's like
                                         
                                        why are we eating the healthy granola instead of my cereal?
                                         
                                        It's like a hurdle that you jump and you get used to the tastes and then you start appreciating it and your standards change.
                                         
                                        But it's like it's more of like a lifestyle than hey, I'm trying to force this every single meal.
                                         
    
                                        So like just go to the grocery, buy healthier food.
                                         
                                        We use Thrive Market, talk about it all the time.
                                         
                                        Also just local grocery storage.
                                         
                                        You can find great options.
                                         
                                        And then also realize that balance.
                                         
                                        and Sean does a great job at this
                                         
                                        is like paramount to
                                         
                                        we have this diet that we're trying to adhere to
                                         
    
                                        and we're going to do everything we can
                                         
                                        and stress out about this
                                         
                                        to the extent that we can keep this diet perfect.
                                         
                                        It's like that's not what it's about.
                                         
                                        It's, hey, let's just make a little bit of progress today.
                                         
                                        Let's do that.
                                         
                                        I also think I have two more thoughts.
                                         
                                        One, moderation is very, very healthy.
                                         
    
                                        So moderation is very healthy.
                                         
                                        you can have a chocolate chip cookie you can have four chocolate chip cookies you can go to
                                         
                                        McDonald's and have a McFlurry or go to McDonald's for breakfast but should you do that every
                                         
                                        single day probably not like I think leading by example and teaching your children and your
                                         
                                        family that we eat healthy and we can still have fun and we can still have birthday cake
                                         
                                        and we can still do all these things it's just we shouldn't live off of it the second thing
                                         
                                        is this is more to parents
                                         
                                        this is 100% to parents than anything
                                         
    
                                        you cannot teach your child something that you don't do
                                         
                                        you can't
                                         
                                        you absolutely can't
                                         
                                        your child will not understand that
                                         
                                        and your child will grow up to have to figure that
                                         
                                        out themselves
                                         
                                        if you want your child to exercise
                                         
                                        and to eat healthy or
                                         
    
                                        to not we want to go down that road
                                         
                                        to not smoke to not drink excessively
                                         
                                        to whatever
                                         
                                        it is you can't just teach them oh mommy does it but you can't that's not okay it doesn't work that
                                         
                                        way kids learn by leading and so you have to you have to show them with anything indulging like
                                         
                                        with treats or entertainment even movies Sean and I try to make it as intentional as possible so like
                                         
                                        my grandpa used to say a treat's not a treat if you have it every day and so like yeah to her
                                         
                                        point about eating milkshakes we we do that but
                                         
    
                                        It's like a fun event.
                                         
                                        It's like a special thing where we'll be intentional about it.
                                         
                                        Be like, hey, every Sunday, we're going to have pizza night.
                                         
                                        And then we save pizza for that night because it's like something to build excitement.
                                         
                                        And it makes it more special.
                                         
                                        Today's episode is brought to you by Athletic Greens.
                                         
                                        We love this company so much and the products that they make that we said, you know what?
                                         
                                        I want to invest in this company.
                                         
    
                                        They thought we were crazy, but then they actually let us.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        And why do we love the company so much?
                                         
                                        Because it's such a high quality product.
                                         
                                        I have had so many people ask me, if I were to take one supplement, just one, to improve my life, what would it be?
                                         
                                        And we always tell them AG1.
                                         
                                        Because with just one scoop of their greens powder, you can get 75.
                                         
                                        Yes, 75.
                                         
    
                                        High quality vitamins, minerals, whole food source superfoods, probiotics, and adaptions to help start your day off right.
                                         
                                        The special blend of ingredients supports your gut health, your nervous system, your immune system, your energy, recovery, focus, and aging.
                                         
                                        We all have massive nutritional gaps in our diet.
                                         
                                        It's natural.
                                         
                                        It happens.
                                         
                                        I like chocolate chip cookies and I don't eat enough broccoli.
                                         
                                        And this can truly help you.
                                         
                                        And not only is it healthy and convenient, it's priced at an amazing rate.
                                         
    
                                        It's less than $3 a day.
                                         
                                        To make it easy, Athletic Greens is going to give you a free one-year supply of immune-supporting
                                         
                                        vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase.
                                         
                                        All you have to do is visit athletic greens.com forward slash EastFam.
                                         
                                        Again, that is athletic greens.com forward slash eastfam.
                                         
                                        fam to take ownership over your health
                                         
                                        and pick up the ultimate daily
                                         
                                        nutritional insurance. We'll also link it
                                         
    
                                        down below. Let's get back to it.
                                         
                                        Moving on.
                                         
                                        How to make and
                                         
                                        cultivate friendships as an adult.
                                         
                                        We just interviewed Jenny Allen, who wrote a book
                                         
                                        all about this. And she said
                                         
                                        you have to be intentional. You have to
                                         
                                        make time for it
                                         
    
                                        and like write it
                                         
                                        into your schedule, which sounds crazy.
                                         
                                        But make it
                                         
                                        like once a month you and your husband or your spouse is going to like go to something fun
                                         
                                        and try to meet someone new.
                                         
                                        Caroline, I'm curious to get your,
                                         
                                        Caroline just moved to Nashville and she's been a great example of how to make friends.
                                         
                                        But she's an adult and I feel like one thing that she's done is just done stuff
                                         
    
                                        where she'll go to happy hour with her neighbors or she'll walk dogs or ride bikes.
                                         
                                        It's like I'm a big fan of just diving in and doing activities and you'll meet people.
                                         
                                        if you're doing if you love mountain biking and you join a mountain bike group you're probably going
                                         
                                        to meet some people that you vibe with because you have shared interests so start there that's
                                         
                                        where a church is so great too yeah shared interests this next one's interesting also one less thing
                                         
                                        i still do this as a 30 year old man i'll just say to people hey i want to be friends yeah do you want to
                                         
                                        be friends you do and people think it's funny but i'm being serious
                                         
                                        and it's like a good icebreaker so there you go um next category interesting how to be a less
                                         
    
                                        judgmental parent wow go for it we should work on being judgmental at all and you should never judge
                                         
                                        your kids so your kids are their own humans they are not you they are not manifestations of what
                                         
                                        you want them to be they are not little humans that are going to follow a playbook that you write
                                         
                                        out for them. They're not. They're their own people. And to be less judgmental, you need to
                                         
                                        celebrate who they are and let them just be their own, their own person. I think the way I've
                                         
                                        heard it described is parenting is like this treasure, what do you call it? It's like a treasure hunt
                                         
                                        where you're trying to figure out who your kid is. And obviously there's going to be like Sean and I
                                         
                                        love sports. And so the things that we get excited about are sports. And so our kids see that and
                                         
    
                                        probably want to do more sports because but we try to be aware of that it's like as far as
                                         
                                        interest goes whatever we're going to try to lay the foundation to set this kid up for
                                         
                                        success and like a healthy life and fulfilling friendships and purpose but at the end of the day it's
                                         
                                        kind of fun to see how it all pans out so you know sit back and enjoy the ride obviously obviously you
                                         
                                        have a role in that but for sure like but your role is not to judge
                                         
                                        You and I kind of, like, I'm more of a hardline parent a little bit where I'm like,
                                         
                                        I'm not going to let you do X, Y, Z, you know, but not judging.
                                         
                                        You got to draw the lines.
                                         
    
                                        Babap-a-bap-bo-b-b-de-pap, you know?
                                         
                                        I think we're on the same exact page there.
                                         
                                        I agree.
                                         
                                        All right.
                                         
                                        I think we're not going to teach our kid.
                                         
                                        It's okay to hurt people.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        Or X, Y, and Z.
                                         
    
                                        But I don't think we get to judge their interest.
                                         
                                        their hobbies and their passions.
                                         
                                        I appreciate this question.
                                         
                                        And obviously, I think you and I need to, like, sit down and figure out how we're going
                                         
                                        to navigate that one.
                                         
                                        I think we're on the same exact page.
                                         
                                        With Amex Platinum, access to exclusive Amex pre-sale tickets can score you a spot
                                         
                                        track side.
                                         
    
                                        So being a fan for life turns into the trip of a lifetime.
                                         
                                        That's the powerful backing of Amex.
                                         
                                        Pre-sale tickets for future events subject to availability and varied by race.
                                         
                                        Terms and conditions apply.
                                         
                                        Learn more at MX.com.
                                         
                                        slash YNX.
                                         
                                        How to,
                                         
                                        Okay, next one.
                                         
    
                                        How to mentally prep myself
                                         
                                        and my two-year-old
                                         
                                        for baby number two.
                                         
                                        Oh, you got this.
                                         
                                        Zero to one was way harder.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        In our experience.
                                         
                                        Our pediatrician is actually
                                         
    
                                        the one who kind of prepped us for it.
                                         
                                        He said,
                                         
                                        talk to your two-year-old a lot
                                         
                                        and talk to your two-year-old
                                         
                                        as if it's their baby.
                                         
                                        So it's not mommy and daddy
                                         
                                        are having another baby.
                                         
                                        And it's not mommy and daddy
                                         
    
                                        are going to bring
                                         
                                        another baby home for us
                                         
                                        or whatever make it your kids make it your two-year-olds it's your baby brother it's your baby sister
                                         
                                        it's your baby you know it's make it like an exciting um moment for them more than anything else
                                         
                                        we also brought a present home for drew from the hospital is that right from the baby from jet
                                         
                                        and then anybody that came to meet the baby at the house obviously there's going to be like
                                         
                                        family and friends and everyone's so excited to meet the baby
                                         
                                        and the two-year-old can feel left out.
                                         
    
                                        So we always included Drew by saying,
                                         
                                        by like having her be the gatekeeper,
                                         
                                        where it's like, hey, Drew, can Uncle Sam meet baby Jet?
                                         
                                        And then that way she feels special and like takes ownership.
                                         
                                        And it's always like, like if a friend would come over and say,
                                         
                                        can I see Jet, it'd be like, oh, you have to ask Drew.
                                         
                                        Yeah, that's Drew's baby.
                                         
                                        And so they'd be like, Drew, can I meet Jet?
                                         
    
                                        And Drew would kind of take him over.
                                         
                                        And yeah, truly let the two-year-old be almost in.
                                         
                                        possession, which sounds weird. Yeah, it's fun. All right. Next question, how to create vision for
                                         
                                        your family. We've been blessed to have mentors who have helped us with this. We did a whole
                                         
                                        episode on goal setting, which you can listen to, it's like 45 minutes or an hour of what Sean
                                         
                                        and I do on an annual basis. I think this is so important, and this is, at least for how Sean
                                         
                                        and I operate, one of the more exciting things that we do. And for us to have this shared vision
                                         
                                        for what we're building like we work together we parent together we're we're best friends
                                         
    
                                        we're married we're like work out together we do literally all of life together we do all of life
                                         
                                        together and so for us to like sit down and set a vision it's not only important because it gets us
                                         
                                        on the same page of where we're going but it's also fun it's like wow we can dream together
                                         
                                        and that process for us has been like so special and unlocks just all these conversations about
                                         
                                        oh you know i'm not i don't feel that way and it's because this hurt me this past year whatever it's
                                         
                                        vulnerable uh dreaming is is vulnerable so you can listen to that but we break it down into like
                                         
                                        sections and we we dream and uh cast visions about each of that but yeah i was going to say
                                         
                                        something we talked about in our goal setting in vision setting podcast which you guys should listen
                                         
    
                                        to um is you so easily can get wrapped up in life just kind of moving
                                         
                                        day by day, year by year, down a path that you never planned for.
                                         
                                        And I think something Andrew and I have tried to do as a family is have check-ins,
                                         
                                        quarterly, annually, whatever it is, to make sure that every decision we're making on a daily
                                         
                                        basis leads us in the direction we want to go.
                                         
                                        And I'm not even saying you're going to go down a path that you don't like.
                                         
                                        It just might not be what you dreamt of.
                                         
                                        And it's so easy to say yes to this and no to that and it not align with the vision you
                                         
    
                                        want. And I think if you have those reminders and those check-ins and you stay very vocal about it to
                                         
                                        your spouse, you can keep your family going down the path that you want. There's a book called
                                         
                                        Visioneering that I would recommend reading. He says that everyone gets somewhere in life. Some
                                         
                                        people get there on purpose. Like that concept just really shook me where I was like, man,
                                         
                                        missing out. If we're not doing this on purpose or intentionally, then what are we doing?
                                         
                                        So read that book, listen to the podcast episode, and dream.
                                         
                                        It's fun.
                                         
                                        Next topic.
                                         
    
                                        How do you know you're actually ready to have kids and how to ask your partner who isn't ready?
                                         
                                        So you both have to be ready to start.
                                         
                                        I'm a firm believer in that and to start trying or to have a kid.
                                         
                                        And honestly, that is what it means to be a team is you have to work together to make sure you're on the same track.
                                         
                                        Andrew and I struggled with that with like our miscarriage because we would,
                                         
                                        would kind of go back and forth on who was ready at certain times and who wasn't we would kind
                                         
                                        of flip back and forth and you just kind of have to wait for that time when you both are and that's
                                         
                                        just through communication yeah and it's not it's not like hey I'm ready to have kids we're doing it
                                         
    
                                        it's being up for entering into the adventure and so just make sure you're both on that same page
                                         
                                        because you don't know like when you start trying it could take we've had friends that it took five
                                         
                                        years it took us three um and it's a wild adventure it's like you're entering this game where you have
                                         
                                        no control and it's continually humbling from the beginning to the end where pregnancy is crazy
                                         
                                        there's so many things that can happen and parenting is the same way so it's like hey we're at a spot
                                         
                                        where we're strong enough together as a couple to take on these new variables but you got this
                                         
                                        there's a lot of ways to live a fun and fulfilling life and having kids is certainly one of them
                                         
                                        It is.
                                         
    
                                        If you're entering that journey, good luck.
                                         
                                        Okay.
                                         
                                        We're going to rapid fire the last four because they're heavy hitters and we could talk about them for hours.
                                         
                                        You ready for this?
                                         
                                        Yes.
                                         
                                        How to feel like you still have purpose as a mother.
                                         
                                        I would say this.
                                         
                                        You can lose your identity and you can lose your identity for a while as a mom.
                                         
    
                                        You have to be intentional.
                                         
                                        You have to ask for help and you have to do stuff for yourself.
                                         
                                        As a mom, you do everything you can to sacrifice your life for your kids and your family.
                                         
                                        family, but you have to remember that in order to be the best mother you could be, you also
                                         
                                        have to protect who you are and give yourself some time.
                                         
                                        How to tell your spouse, sorry, how to tell your spouse if you have a complaint about their
                                         
                                        parents.
                                         
                                        Well, okay.
                                         
    
                                        I think truth, sorry, full of grace with a dose of truth.
                                         
                                        It's kind of a good way to approach it.
                                         
                                        Don't make it feel like you're attacking.
                                         
                                        the parents that never goes well uh try to handle the issue together and not individually
                                         
                                        and then um one thing that our marriage marriage counselor said to us was you know things can get
                                         
                                        complicated and if you're if your parents don't like your spouse or there's conflict you're always
                                         
                                        taking your spouse's side that's the right way to do it you're not like yes banning your parents of
                                         
                                        Like if my parents come to me and like, hey, Sean's so annoying and I can't believe she does this.
                                         
    
                                        Excuse me.
                                         
                                        It's so wrong of me to be like, yeah, I know.
                                         
                                        She is.
                                         
                                        It's like, because that just festeres the problem.
                                         
                                        It grows the problem.
                                         
                                        You're taking the side of when they come to you and say, Sean's so annoying.
                                         
                                        It's like, no, I love her.
                                         
                                        She's my wife.
                                         
    
                                        And we are growing together.
                                         
                                        So do it together as a team.
                                         
                                        Next up.
                                         
                                        How to maintain body positivity as a mom and someone in their 30s or 40s.
                                         
                                        I don't look like I did in my 20s.
                                         
                                        Bodies change over time as they should.
                                         
                                        And being a mom changes your body.
                                         
                                        I think you have to understand and accept the changes that come with the miracle of life.
                                         
    
                                        And think about yourself this way.
                                         
                                        If you had a daughter, what would you teach her to think about her body?
                                         
                                        I think that's what I have to remind myself the most of is to give yourself grace.
                                         
                                        And I would want my, I would want Drew to love herself no matter.
                                         
                                        matter what so again you can't teach what you don't act on so i have to act on that i got thoughts on
                                         
                                        aging it's like what why why is everyone trying to stay looking young i think it's fun to like get old
                                         
                                        and wrinkly together that's part of it dude what are we doing it's going to happen and then we're
                                         
                                        going to be dead that's kind of what happens it's like you get you look good for a little bit then
                                         
    
                                        you get old and wrinkly and then you die okay bad a bang last one just don't don't don't on
                                         
                                        that note Andrew how to live life to the fullest what do you do to make the most of every single day
                                         
                                        oh dude I love this question give me give me your best I freaking love it one line
                                         
                                        this is the day the Lord has bade I will rejoice and be glad in it every day is a blessing
                                         
                                        that's how it for granted that's how I start each and every day are you done I'm done I start every day like
                                         
                                        that that was my mic drop
                                         
                                        um i read every morning it gets me pumped and it's just like when you wake up grateful and excited
                                         
                                        and i know some people don't like their job or they're in stressful situations and like families
                                         
    
                                        whatever it can be stressful but there's always going to be something good going on so look at that
                                         
                                        and let that control your thoughts like so cheesy but control what you can control and the one
                                         
                                        thing you can always control is your attitude right so just recognize the good
                                         
                                        um that doesn't mean there's not going to be conflict but you have something to me it's something to be
                                         
                                        grateful for i'm just a big believer that everyone listening literally is put here to to change the
                                         
                                        world they have a story or an experience that no one else has and they could share that to reach
                                         
                                        others and impact people so like are you doing that are you doing that that's my question just get
                                         
                                        pumped up about it like it's it's crazy i love your passion can i can i can i
                                         
    
                                        keep talking or you're going to shut it down.
                                         
                                        You're shutting me down.
                                         
                                        I'm going to do a whole redirected podcast episode on this because you should.
                                         
                                        Purpose is important.
                                         
                                        Anyway, we'll leave it there.
                                         
                                        Thank you for those questions, Instagram.
                                         
                                        Hope that was somewhat helpful.
                                         
                                        Yes.
                                         
    
                                        Probably the airplane was the most tangible advice.
                                         
                                        Yeah, we got lists on list.
                                         
                                        Check the description down below.
                                         
                                        If you have me yet, please subscribe.
                                         
                                        Thank you for listening.
                                         
                                        I am Sean.
                                         
                                        And I'm Andrew.
                                         
                                        And we are the East.
                                         
    
                                        spam out
                                         
