Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew - 114 having the third baby talk..

Episode Date: May 11, 2022

You guys requested this one so much so here it is! In this episode Andrew and I discuss the idea of having a third child. We talk about what that journey would look like, address why some people choose not to have more kids and how this could change our lives. If you have any questions, comments or just want to reach out for future episodes please head over to our instagram @couplethingspodcast. We love this community and appreciate you guys so much! We are sponsored by these companies that we love below: Athletic Greens: Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com/eastfam. Modern Fertility: Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/eastfam. That means your test will cost $139 instead of the hundreds or thousands it could cost at a doctor’s office! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I would say before we start unpacking everything, yeah, I'm in favor too. Oh, my gosh. You know this. No, I didn't. Yeah, oh my gosh, you know this. This is great news. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to a couple things.

With Sean and Andrew. A podcast all about couples. And the things they go through. Today, we are talking about a much requested topic, which is a third baby. A third baby. A third baby. We have this conversation often between. Sean and I and would like to talk about it with you as well.

Why not? So, you know, we've loved sharing all of our pregnancy, birth, postpartum journey with you. Yes. And this is part of that journey. So I'm pretty excited. You are. Yeah. We haven't really had like a full conversation about this until right now.

We're doing it live. Oh boy. Before we get started, please subscribe to the show on whatever platform you're listening on. And know that we do do. video and audio versions of this show. If you want to see the train wreck, go over to YouTube. That's right. Let's do this thing.

Listen, so from the get-go, we always try to keep things transparent. That's our number one rule in the relationship to share how we're really feeling. And so we feel like by doing so, it just helps lead to progress. So hopefully this is helpful in sharing how we discuss these topics because a lot of time Sean and I will have different perspectives and so how can we do that respectfully have these kind of differing opinion conversations respectfully anyway I need to make this very very very clear before we have this conversation so that none of you all go post something crazy on Twitter I am not pregnant and we are not trying to get pregnant at the moment

when was the last time you checked Twitter you're never on Twitter. Why was that your go-to social media? Because Elon's about to buy Twitter. He did buy it. No way. Oh my gosh. That's what you get for not checking Twitter.

Did he change it? Not yet. Is the edit button there? Not yet. You're hilarious. Okay, babe. Third baby. What are your thoughts?

So first of all, let me just start with saying, I'm in favor. I know. Would love it. I love babies. Never thought that I would like babies this much. But my gosh, it's my favorite. I adore babies. I adore our children.

I love the whole, I love being able to be a parent. So I would say before we start unpacking everything, yeah, I'm in favor too. Oh my gosh. You know this. No, I didn't. Yeah. Oh, my gosh, you know this. Well, you go back and forth because it's more taxing on you, to be honest, than it is on me.

So this is probably going to be more of an episode of. me just giving you the honest opinion of myself and pregnancy and babies but let me start with a laundry list of reasons why I am on the fence

and I'm 50-50 so after we had Drew or let's back it up even further when we had our miscarriage I knew while it was happening while I was pregnant while we were losing that baby

that I wanted to try again like I knew I wanted to try to get pregnant and to have a baby if we could um we then got pregnant with drew and we had a little a couple of scares throughout that pregnancy and through that delivery um but drew came to us and she's amazing and i knew the second we had drew i was like we're going to go again i know this and then we got pregnant with jet and it was great pregnancy great birth he's the best in the entire world but

After Jet, for some reason, I just had this feeling of, I was like, I don't know. I don't have that same feeling of like, I know we're going to try again. It is tough. I feel like in some ways we lucked out by having a boy and a girl. Yeah. So there's part of us. Which we would have been perfectly just as happy. Yeah, yeah.

But still the question of, oh, what would it be like to have a boy or a girl if we only had one of each is answered? Like now we have that iteration of a child in that version. Yeah. So that's one thing where we already have a boy and a girl. The other thing is just the terrifying process. Yeah. The whole thing is. That's, I think not to cut you off.

But I think that's what scares me the most is I have such incredible faith in the miracle of life. And we're so strong in our faith. learned how to get through the miscarriage. I learned how to heal through that. But we've been so incredibly blessed with two babies. It's like finding that faith to be even stronger and go through that process again. I'm terrified of having another miscarriage. I'm terrified of complications in pregnancy.

I'm terrified of the complications in delivery. And even though I got through. that with both Drew and Jet and everything turned out okay like it that really scares me that really scares me so just to unpack that a little more you have the unknown of are we able to get pregnant yes the unknown of how long it will take to get pregnant yes the unknown of how healthy the pregnancy will be the unknown of how healthy the baby will be then the unknown of parenting and who the child is is just like there's so much there. So much.

There's so much that could go wrong. Yeah. But my perspective has changed recently where it's like, oh, it's all part of the story. It's like now to me, having been a father twice over now, it's like things are going to go wrong. Mm-hmm. and it's just how what do you learn from that how do you have that change your perspective and decisions moving forward and how do you move forward from it so it's like because there's always going to be something that goes wrong yeah so it's not just like a useless exercise

trying to mitigate all those I also think to to a certain extent again being strong in our faith has really helped us but in the past three years that we have gotten pregnant and had two babies. We have been surrounded by so many friends who have also gotten pregnant and had babies. A lot of friends of which have lost or had a lot of, like many, many miscarriages. We've had a really close friend of ours

actually lose their baby two weeks after birth. We've had a close friend of ours give birth to twins at 24 weeks and live in the NICU for four months. So I think I think my my mom heart has been so strained for our friends and just seeing what that has done to their families and their lifestyle it's it's again it's just that like you see how many things can go wrong you also see how many beautiful things can go right but it's just scary well and that's the more important thing to focus on the lesson the takeaway from this section of talking is like if you're strictly. making decisions based off of what could possibly go wrong or how this how it ends in the final scene it's like you're not going to nothing good comes of that yeah there's a Mitch headberg

who's a comedian skit where he talks about he's like you can't not drink wine because you might have a hangover to me like that defeats the purpose it's like there is and then there's another saying that talks about how beauty is a result of imperfections and of things having a finite end. Yeah. So embracing the unknown is actually a, in my opinion, a way more interesting way to live life. Oh, I agree.

And it's a, it's terrifying. It's terrifying. And it's also the greatest way to strengthen your faith even more. I'm well aware. I distinctly remember driving two hours from here. to flip fest gymnastics camp when I was pregnant with Drew and I don't even

I don't think I told you this I bawled like uncontrollably couldn't breathe like a baby for about 75% of that drive because I had we had just left Drew's ultrasound her 20 week ultrasound and we had some like markers and some scares

and some like super unknown things that could lead to so many unknown things and I remember just like crying and praying to God and like talking to her and I was like you hang on like you hang on for dear life you are you're gonna make it here and I just like the idea of losing her oh my gosh it's just but would you sacrifice that moment of deep emotions for not for nothing at all uh Would you trade, would you rather have no emotions or that deep sadness that you felt? Full transparency?

Okay. Full transparency, I, my guarded self would say, like, I don't want to go through that. I don't want to, I love our babies so much. And we've been given such an incredible gift with both of them that I know my heart. And so my guarded self would be like, I don't know how much more I can handle. because I know my heart is so overflowing with the two of them right now. I hear you. We are going to, on this note, do a full episode on addressing why other people choose not to have kids.

But those were a few things that came to our mind in this discussion of is a third baby. Yeah. Something that we're interested in pursuing. But the next question is, what's the timeline? Because we have currently Drew, who's two and a half. Yeah. Jet is nine months. Ten months.

Yeah. We're 21 months apart. It's a tight window. I was about to say, I'm scared if you're about to say, that's a perfect window. I'm like, no. I thought it was perfect for our first two kids. I really did. I was ready when we got pregnant for, well, I guess TMI.

So we had just pulled the goalie, basically, with Drew and got pregnant on our first try, which we thought it was going to take us a couple years, the same time frame it took true, but it did not. We got very lucky and got pregnant very fast. So it was definitely a closer, tighter window than we expected. But it's been great. We're just stuck in the baby phase, which we love. But I think if we were to start trying for a third,

I would want some more time for many reasons. One of which is I feel like it's, so easy to to lose time with our kids right now because it's so chaotic that if we got pregnant again and we're consumed by another baby we'd lose out on some special moments with drew and jet also let me just say this because there's no right answer to any of this it's literally just a preference to style so because the rebuttal to what you just said is the kids will be closer they'll be in activities they'll be in school together so yes i agree with you and that's that's one of my biggest concerns with any life change especially baby is like it's disruptive and it affects

our marriage yeah like that's a babies are tough on marriages that's a huge thing for another one is we have a very very strong marriage but our marriage has definitely been tested and not in like a I don't mean that in a dramatic sense. Like, oh, it was going to end. It's just, it gets very tested after each baby. And we work full time and we work full time together and we parent full time together. And I didn't have like super easy postpartum phases. I was definitely hormones were all over the place and I struggled mentally.

So it really tested us. And I think another reason why a third kid is such a. huge conversation is you also don't give me small babies. My pregnancies aren't easy. And I will say, easy or not, it doesn't matter. It's the greatest blessing, and I don't take it for granted. So I'm not complaining about pregnancy. But it definitely takes a toll on my body because both babies have been basically 10 pounds.

And that's made the births really complicated, both of which have ended in emergency C sections. Can I just say it's amazing how rock in your body is after rocking bot? Thank you. Rocking bot. Just shout out to Sean's bod.

Thank you. It's amazing. Sean was walking around naked last time. I was like, oh my gosh. The third baby. Here we go. I will say though, like take the superficial side out of it and material side out of it,

vanity side out of it, getting back to your post or your pre pregnancy body whatever none of that really matters to me what matters to me is like feeling strong and i am so hyper aware of my body just from being in professional athletics for so long that after drew by around the one year mark i felt like my body was was back like i felt strong i felt healthy but after jets my body has just not for lack of a better word bounced back like it did with Drew and I just don't feel that strength

my core my body does feel compromised a lot more this time my back hurts so bad from Jets pregnancy my core is definitely not where it should be and I don't mean should be prior to having kids but just rehabilitation wise

and so for me I would definitely need more time I want to make sure longevity wise my body can last as long as possible for our children so I need to make sure it's in a good place before another pregnancy I hear you important caveat yeah to you have in a rock and body is it's not that you have like a perfect body like there's stretch marks there has been you have a C-section scar where do I have stretch marks you have a C-section scar you have a C-section scar it's more the fact that you're confident and purposeful Yeah.

And that's what's most attractive. I do. I have had a lot of people talk about C-section scars and they're like, oh, mine is so visible or whatever. I love it. I love my body. I love. It's so wild what your body goes through in pregnancy. To see, to look back at pictures and see my stomach was so large with a 10-pound baby with Jet.

And to now see, like, the stretch marks and the scars and, like, everything. It's so fascinating and so cool But it does take a toll Okay, so back to the timeline Which resonates more with you And which would you rather If the timeline was up to us Us waiting until

Jets 6 and Drew's 8 To have another baby Okay Or wait until Jets 3 and Drew's 5 Wait until Jets 2? Yeah Oh wow Oh, we're waiting more.

Percinto, babe. Really? Yeah. These babies are popping out if they're happening. Okay. This is good to know. Oh, my God. You just got so excited.

I'm the same as you. I am an only child. And being able to watch your family so closely over the years be so close-knit as siblings. I've never experienced that. But to see, you guys are going through the same phases of life at the same time. And you guys. relate so well and you guys are each other's best friends and I think that's so beautiful to have at this age and life because I don't have that and I definitely would want our kids to

to have that as well and to be as close together as they could be. So you think maybe wait another like 14 months and then we'll start trying. Yes. This is great news. Let's go. Yeah, for sure. Today's episode is brought to you by Athletic Greens. You've seen them on the tour, you've seen them on the show. Athletic Greens is our favorite daily habit that we have. I literally just had my smoothie. Let me smell on your breath. No, gross.

I love it so much. I do oatmeal, athletic greens, vanilla protein powder, and banana. And it's the best smoothie ever, and it gives you everything you could possibly need in a day. I do water and athletic greens, and it's my favorite little 30-second habit that I do. And with just one scoop of athletic greens, you get over 75 high-quality vitamins, minerals, and whole-foods, source superfoods, probiotics, and adaptogens to help you start your day right. I have told so many friends of mine and my mom even, if you were to take one supplement a day that would help fill all of your nutritional gaps, this is it.

Athletic greens is the way to go. Age 1 helps your immune system, your gut health, your nervous system, your energy, recovery, focus, and aging. It helps all the things. and to help make it easy for you to try AG1, we're going to give you a free one-year supply of immune-supporting vitamin D and five free travel packs of Athletic Greens with your first purchase.

All you have to do is visit athletic greens.com forward slash EastFam. Again, that's athletic greens.com forward slash EastFam to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance. We'll also link it down below. Let's get back to it. Well, one thing that's not on here

is adoption. Yeah. Which we have not fully fleshed that out. We haven't. I'm for it. Me too. Apparently the process from what I've learned from friends is wild. They don't make it easy.

That's good for the protection of children, but that's also bad because there are so many babies and there are so many incredible parents out there who are wanting to connect with those babies and save them. so you would you would wish it was an easier process to align those two people yeah yeah yeah but I get that um adoption absolutely I I think we are just some of those people who want to be parents and that's zero judgment to people who don't like if you don't believe you are given that to be a parent I don't yeah I totally support you there yeah we always say there's

lots of ways to live a fulfilling life and being a parent it's just one of those ways that's just the path we were put on and i think our hearts are the the parenting kind and i would definitely adopt a baby i think i would i think i would my heart would go towards adopting a baby yeah we should look into that yeah more um i didn't know you felt that way yeah adoption is not something that's familiar with my within my family yeah there's not been a lot of it within like my siblings have none of them have done so it's like an alien concept to me that I don't know a lot about but I would love to find out more um does any part of you hesitate to have another child because of the disruption to your schedule and like how you're allotting your

time um i would say that question would have been relevant zero to one but going from one to two kids i'm fully fully in there so yes i think going having that transition of a of a baby definitely disrupts a lot of things in life um but schedule i'm not worried about because we're already in the thick of that i don't think three kids versus two versus four is any more disruptive than it already is. There is, you kind of learn how to hold on looser and looser to kids. Like definitely we parent Jet differently than we did Drew.

It's so much different. Where it's like, he's going to be fine. Like we're very hands on, but Drew is like, you're just concerned. Yeah. And you're. It's so much different. And I thought there was no way I,

I absolutely panicked when we were close to having Jet because I held on so tight with Drew. with every single thing and with jet i was like how can i possibly do that with him when i'm doing that with her at the same time and it's just funny how your heart just grows and you just find like you figure it out but with him there are so many things where i was like he's going to be fine and with drew i would have been like oh my god does does the pregnancy process of like nausea etc spook you from having another So, like, you talked about the body changes, which we have a close friend who doesn't want to get pregnant again because it's very important to her to, like, have this image of her body maintained.

Yep. But then there's other friends who, like the morning sickness and those kind of effects, spook them. No, the nausea, the symptoms, the side effects, all of that that comes with pregnancy. I'm not spooked by like in full transparency here and bear with me give me a little grace as I say this

there are women out there who love being pregnant like they just love the process they love the feeling and I'm not one of them I think it's the greatest blessing and I love every second of it

because it's that miracle that I had been gifted with and blessed with of like being pregnant and being able to carry a pregnancy so like I love it for the purpose but I'm much more enjoy having our baby and I think that's probably just the athlete side of me my body to answer your question I'm not spooked by the symptoms but I'm spooked by the exhaustion and the the um being that physically limited while how having two very young babies scares me because the amount of energy it takes to just keep up with our kids today and like to play and to have fun and to be a really good hands-on mom

is very hard when you're pregnant let me challenge you though you can be a good mom and be pregnant and not like being hands-on and like right there for the every need does not equate to being a good mom yes i don't mean i don't necessarily i agree i agree that definition it's more so the exhaustion that scares me because the more tired you get the more impatient the more snippy the more just not excited you are about partaking into into activities so finding that energy while being pregnant a third time on top of full-time job and everything that is what spooks me. What about the other things that go with pregnancy, like no wine, no sushi? Oh, that's fine. Are you, that was, it becomes a big thing. It becomes a big thing except for,

I will say. So, very first pregnancy, it was the biggest thing. I was like, oh, I just missed my deli sandwiches, whatever. Yeah, the deli sandwich. Second pregnancy, I was like 50% less. A next pregnancy, I honestly don't think I would really care because. you learn through parenting. Like, I, I just don't care. Like, last night, what did I? What did I eat for dinner last night? I think I had, like, a half a cup of rice that was left over from the Drew's.

What the frick was that, by the way? I don't know, but it's one of those things. As a parent, you, like, don't care. Like, I'll take what I can get into, like, preferences of food and drink anymore. I'm like, ah, if that's fine, I don't care, whatever. I don't know if getting rid of coffee doesn't sound great. I will say you do a great job, Sean, at embracing the idea that pregnancy is a phase. It's uncomfortable. It sucks sometimes. But with the end result in mind, like, hey, I get a hold

a baby after this. I just got anxious. My whole body just got anxious. Really? Oh, yeah. It's so crazy. I cannot empathize with pregnancy at all. And I want to. too like I literally feel anxiety right now I want to know how bad and uncomfortable it is I was I was so uncomfortable with jet you guys I had severe sciatica from like within the first trimester it was insane I went to a chiropractor every week multiple times massages like I tried everything that sounds so bougie I tried everything to relieve and to like keep me comfortable, wow, he was so uncomfortable. He was so uncomfortable.

What about the sleep portion of breakfast? Oh gosh, we don't sleep anymore anyways. I don't care. I don't care. Isn't that wild? We used to value our sleep. We did a whole episode on this podcast about sleep. We did.

And now it's like, it's not the most important thing in life. It's not. It's nice for sure. Sometimes it's nice. I think you just came to that realization, like maybe a month. ago two months ago because at one point Andrew was so obsessed with his sleep he was like eff it we're not going to spend any time together anymore I'm going to bed the second babies go to sleep now it's kind of like okay we're just embracing it yeah but you do a great job

understanding it's a phase yeah and having this this general understanding that like great joy happens hand in hand with like great pain yeah and sacrifice yeah yeah yeah Drew Holcomb said that it's like

they go hand in hand yeah those two so you do a great job another thing that sounds silly but that I'm worried about with like a third is like we're we're great with man on man it's like you take Drew I take jet or vice versa or traveling

it's that right now is like I don't want to say easy but manageable it baffles me the idea of a third No but Drew's kind of She's self-sufficient I know but think about traveling with three car seats Like flying with three car seats

No we don't need three car seats No dude you're not thinking about it right We would have two years Until we have this kid Drew will be in a car You have to put a kid in a freaking car seats So they're like six or seven Everywhere right now

Yeah she is All right on the concept of a third child. Yeah. We have one girl, one boy. Don't care. I'm a little,

no, but it is interesting to think about the dynamic of like, two girls and one boy. Yeah. Or two boys and one girl. How does that change a dynamic?

That does scare me. But I think... Like one of them's going to feel left out. Possibly, but it also is the same fear I felt in Drew being a big sister. Like I was terrified that she would feel

not as loved or she would feel left out and yeah she definitely has like jealousy phases where she wants more mom time or whatever but we love them equally

and they play together and love each other so it would be the same so you know people are into like the enneagram yeah some people are really big into birth order oh no have you thought about that at all

like hey I'm a middle child so that gives me X, Y, Z. No. I'm an only child, so I don't understand any of that. Maybe that's a very only child thing to say of you. Maybe. I don't think birth order, I think to a certain extent, okay, let me humor this. Yes, I do think birth order matters.

I think Drew feels very differently than Jet does right now. I think their quote unquote upbringings, their first year of life are wildly different. Who style did you like better? I don't think I can choose Because I think each style was perfect For the phase of life we were in Because Drew is our only child I think it was perfect

Yeah, I agree, I agree with you. But it is funny to see Like how else would we grow and evolve And change in our parenting style? With a third. It's interesting to think about. I feel like one of the nicest things with going from one to two as opposed to zero to one kids was the you feel overwhelmed going from zero to one because you're like what what things do I need what is my routine it's all new like the schedule changes the communication changes the the stuff you have to buy we already had all that for jet and so it's like all right we're going to do a nursery we already have this at in the other we're ordering them

we didn't use this for Drew's we're not going to order that and so from that from the material yeah like the equipment side of it we're good yeah we're good and that was the hardest part about baby number one is you just don't know anything nothing you don't know what they need you don't know how to handle a baby you don't know the milestones you don't know like everything is is a learning like thing and goodness there are so many different styles out there that there's a different products to fit each style. Yeah. So I think with Drew, the best part about the first is like we learned our style and we learned

what we needed and we learned how to do the things. So with Jet or any babies to come, we know that at least. So. I'm going to throw something out there. You react to it. Jet as an older brother. It's adorable. Can you imagine that old guy.

Actually, his hands, we should post a picture of this. are probably as wide as three of my fingers, which makes them very wide. He's massive. Yeah. He would just, I feel like he'd be a bully in like a good way. Like accidentally, like a gentle.

No, he's going to be like baby Huey. He's just like accidentally going to throw someone to the ground. Today's episode is brought to you by Modern Fertility. Babe, did you see that Modern Fertility was rated Fastco's number one company in health care? It makes sense. It's the only comprehensive fertility hormone test you could literally take in your jammies. Modern fertility was founded to give people who are planning to have kids the ability to plan ahead better. So how it works is modern fertility send you a kit. You collect your sample using their step-by-step instructions. And then you get on and you receive a fertility profile.

Your reports explain how your hormones relate to ovarian reserve, egg freezing and IVF, menopause, and more. And you get more than just the information, you get access to an awesome online community as well as support that's there for you whenever you need it. Traditional testing with your doctor can cost over $1,000, but modern fertility gets you the same info at $159, a fraction of the price. And if you go to modern fertility.com slash e-fam, you can get $20 off your test. Also, if you have an HSA or FSA, you can put those dollars toward modern fertility, which is huge. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off their test when you go to ModernFertility.com slash EastFam.

That means your test will cost $139 instead of the hundreds or thousands it could cost at a doctor's office. Modern Fertility is a reproductive health company making personalized fertility information and support more accessible. Again, get $20 off your fertility test when you go to ModernFertility.com slash EastFam. That's modernfertility.com slash E-A-S-T-F-A-M. We'll link it down below. How has our, from a marriage standpoint, routine changed from zero to one and one to two? What have we done differently? I think after Drew, we worked really, really hard to make sure our relationship didn't change from zero to one, if that makes sense.

And I think from one to two, we've more so accepted that our relationship. relationship is different and our time with each other is different our roles with each other is different and so I think two to two might be a harder transition for us because we're we are transitioning in our life which is hard meaning like hey we're co-parenting now yeah and not just like trying to hold on to us as yeah like marriage with drew it was almost like we were We were still the same, we still lived the same relationship that we did before Drew. It's just we took her everywhere with us or we had babysitter with two kids. It's hard because there's no break.

There's no real time for each other as much. So we actively have to work for it. And it's just like this acceptance of we have to work even harder for our connection. I try to communicate this. The best way I know how is like it's different. being married to a mom yes like you go from being married to your wife to being married to a mom and at first it was like that was a little difficult for me because it was like hey sean went from being this easy going laid back like pretty chill to now she's no we have to be here

then like boom boom boom and that changed how we communicated and that was aggravating at first but now it's like viewing life more as an experiment of hey oh this is an interesting thing I learned about Sean and having two kids taught me something different about you than having only one kid so it's like this discovery process which can be scary it can be exhausting because at some point you're like gosh can we just stop learning about each other sometimes and like just settle in and be normal. Two kids has almost made us have to embrace our roles more than ever. Because before a second, I would say still after one,

we were still able to kind of like mix everything together. If we didn't get something done, it would be like, oh, babe, can you take this on? Can I take this on, whatever? Now there's just so much demand for time that I feel like we, we, we, lead two very different lives simultaneously but like respect it more does that make sense?

Yeah. Like I'm I just know I'm like oh I it's my job that like my duties to like make sure there's groceries make sure the kids are like packed for the day. You start work earlier today like we just have like different lives going on now that we and we didn't before because we lived everything

together. Which is why people say when the kids grow up and you become empty nesters, you kind of sit there and think, oh, I don't know who this person is. But I think there's this nuance of understanding, there's just a lot of logistics that go into it. You're going to be taking it through to school.

I'm going to be running the, whatever, doing the different things. Being aware of that and then trying to figure out connection through that. Yeah. Right. It's not like trying to avoid the logistics or like not have your kids do soccer practice or go to school because you're trying to force this connection. It's like more embracing the current situation

and figuring out how you can make connection work through that as a married couple. You think with five kids we get a, or sorry, three kids we get, I am the middle of five. And that was chaos. I think that's a no for me. I will say, I think there's something about being a more well-rounded person when you have more siblings. Yeah.

Because there's just more of this chaos. So you're like more laid back generally. But the thought of having kids who aren't best friends with each other terrifies me. Like if there was ever beef between them, I would feel terrible. Yeah. That scares me too. But you think with three kids we get a minivan? No.

Okay. I feel like a Tahoe. We are trying to find a new family car that's great for kids. So if you have any recommendations, let us know. I will say, wrapping this all up, that for the most part, all of our friends who have three kids or more have said the transition from two to three was the hardest. Really? So that scares me too. But people also say zero to one was hard and zero to two.

It's like just people have different perspectives. I will say two to three. Most people are like, whoof, that one was rough. But so far, having two kids, we've enjoyed more than just having one. So when does that logic end? We'll enjoy having three kids. When mama's done being pregnant. I would say...

With Amex Platinum, access to exclusive Amex pre-sale tickets can score you a spot trackside. So being a fan for life turns into the trip of a lifetime. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Pre-sale tickets for future events subject to availability and varied by race. Turns and conditions apply. Learn more at Amnx. to summarize it's not off the table but i truly think if i get pregnant again if we have another kid i feel like in my heart i've got room for one more but i don't think i'm going i don't think i'm

going to go past that wait at the beginning this episode you're all in and then you're saying it's not off the table where are we here i I'm exactly where I was when I started. We talked through all these details. Just like, oh, yeah, you're right. We got to think about that. Hypothetically speaking, yes. I'm good.

Start in two years or starting 14 months, everything. But that's if we decided like it's a go. I just don't know. To be honest with you, we're very much a team in this. Yes. So I'm kidding when I say I want five kids. That's not like me forcing that on you. I know.

It's like I love kids. So do I. I also realize that. You have to make certain sacrifices that I never will to have kids. So if you're like, no, I'm done, then I'm okay with that. So just know that I'm your supportive teammate through this, not your dictator. Thank you. Vice versa.

And I do enjoy parenting with you. Thank you. Sometimes. I'm kidding. I enjoy parenting with you too. Anyway, I think we addressed a lot of the issues here. Again, we're going to be doing another episode on. why people don't have kids and reacting to the different logic they give.

And all of that is coming from you guys too. So we've asked for your thoughts, your stories, and we would love to share them and talk to them. On having no kids and not having more kids. But then also, I think it's maybe worth a YouTube video you talking about like your postpartum routine and like your approach to body, your image. No, not like you're getting back to your pre-baby body because that's not. even your approach, it's more like, I think unpacking your perspective would be great. So, been in luck out for that too.

But thank you for listening. My dad did say that my voice is at the exact, he's hard of hearing, is that like the exact tone that is very difficult for him to hear. Oh, that's good. So he was like, can you put close captions on everything? Oh, oh, dad. I know. And I also was freaking just, I got a little emotional because he listens to all our stuff, which

means a lot. He spends every waking second of his life supporting, following, and loving his children, which is incredible. I know. I do give him, I call him a goof and I call him, anyway, I'm so thankful for my dad. So two things. We're going to do a better job

at trying to add closed captions. It'd be hard to do on everything, but also I'm going to work on my radio voice. You're going to go higher or lower? I think it's got to be a little bit of both. You don't like that? But I get in this mode, like when I soft talk like if you bump into me at a party and we get in a conversation i very much talking like

this i'm like wow i get close i'm a close talker it drives me insane come on anyway i don't know why i said that but uh thank you for listening i'm andrew i'm sean we are the east fam out