Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew - 129 | dude dad on marriage and parenting

Episode Date: August 31, 2022

Magnolia Network Star, better known as Dude Dad, Taylor Calmus and his wife Heidi sit down with us to encourage couples’ that marriage and parenting are grand adventures. What’s important is the journey, not the result, as they share fun facts about the growing baby during pregnancy, dos and don’ts for expecting dads, and tips to help mom-to-be. You can purchase his book, "A Dude's Guide to Baby Size: What to Expect and How to Prep for Dads-to-Be" here! ▶ https://www.amazon.com/Dudes-Guide-Baby-Size-Dads/dp/0593194411/ref=pd_lpo_1?pd_rd_i=0593194411&psc=1 This podcast is sponsored by Athletic Greens ▶ Athletic Greens Is going to give you a FREE 1-year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D'AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com/eastfam. Follow My Instagram ▶ http://www.instagram.com/ShawnJohnson Like the Facebook page! ▶ http://www.facebook.com/ShawnJohnson Follow My Twitter ▶ http://www.twitter.com/ShawnJohnson Snapchat! ▶ @ShawneyJ Follow AndrewsTwitter ▶ttp://www.twitter.com/AndrewDEast Follow My Instagram ▶ http://www.instagram.com/AndrewDEast Like the Facebook page! ▶ http://www.facebook.com/AndrewDEast Snapchat! ▶ @AndrewDEast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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What's up, everybody? Thanks. With Sean and Andrew. A podcast all about couples. And the things they go through. Today, we have. Taylor Kalmus and his wife, Heidi. You might also know him as the dude dad.

Yes. And I've been watching the dude dad for years. He has millions of fans on Facebook. He's hilarious. And he also just came out with a book called A Dude's Guide to Baby Size. Which is hysterical. And it's basically written by a comedian, which makes me super excited for this interview. I know.

We're pumped. I've never met his wife, Heidi, but she's actually maybe even the better part of their content. So if you want to find out more about Taylor and Heidi, we'll link their information down below. And also, if you want to buy his book called The Dude's Guide to Baby Size, where he makes hilarious comparisons to how large your child is at certain points of pregnancy, you can find that down below as well. So without further ado, let's bring you this interview with Taylor and Heidi. Taylor, Heidi, pleasure to have you on the show. Thanks so much for joining us. Thanks for, thanks for having us.

You guys have a lot going on. I was just telling actually Heidi before we got going here that you live in a similar town that my friends do and you are like living legends out there. Oh, that's cool. I'm a fan from afar, but also you're just impacting your community, which is great to see. So excited to have the conversation. But you have a lot going on. So you have a TV show, Taylor.

you got you got your social media which is one of my favorite accounts oh thank you you have three kids together and now you just came up with the book so i'm trying to figure out where should we start this conversation that's like how i start every morning what do i do today and then i end up not doing anything and i just get one more day behind on everything yeah that that would be me if it weren't for him I'm the kind of person where I'm like, I just want to like hang out with the kids today. That's it. I like to just fill my day with little things and don't do the big thing I'm supposed to do. And just like, oh, well, I've got that interview and I've got that meeting.

And then, oh, I got to answer that email. And then, oh, it's 4 o'clock. Oops, here we are. Exactly. I would love to start hearing the story of how you two met. Do you remember when you first saw me? yeah there was zero interest thanks for that yeah we were going to the school in South Dakota called University of Sioux Falls and sure you've heard of it yeah yeah

yeah yeah but they so I was a senior that year and he was a junior and I had this I did the the school play that year for the first time because I'd never done, like, a school production before. So I was like, I'm almost done with my entire school career. I should probably experience this one time in my life. And I did, and I met this girl, and she was, we just would talk about the most random things when we're supposed to be rehearsing. We would just be, like, in the back talking about stuff.

Anyways, she was also, yeah, she was also in the theater production or in the theater department. Theater department like Taylor, and she wanted me to do this one act. And I was like, I am not doing a one act. Like, I'm not an actor. Like, I'm just, no. And she was like, no, I think this will be really fun. It's just going to be a two-man, two-man show.

It'll be you, my friend Taylor. He's coming back from L.A., so let's just do it. And I was like, fine, whatever. So I already kind of had this, like, bad attitude about, like, well, I don't really want to do this. And then he, like, just gets back from doing a semester in L.A. of film studies. Yeah. Yeah, I was in L.A. for one semester.

So I came back, and I, like, literally on the drive. home to 24-hour drive, I get a call from our friend Ashley that's like, hey, I'm doing this directing play, you're going to be in it with my friend Heidi. I was like, all right, cool, that sounds like fun. Let's do it. So I made him, and he colored his hair orange because he was trying to be. I had, I was California, bleached blonde hair. Going for it. Stop. Right? I looked awful. Dang. Yeah. That looked stupid. it so yeah so we're like we meet and the like first interaction they have with them so my sister has a

baby the day before we're supposed to like have our first rehearsal and so I'm like late and it's just you too in this play so he calls me three minutes past when I'm supposed to be there and he's like where are you and I was like oh my gosh who are you like first of all how did you get my number and second what like we're off to a great start great So excited to meet you. Let's do this. Also, you bleach your hair, bro. So don't be coming at me with punctuality.

Yeah. So we go. But get to the rehearsal. And actually, I had a lot of fun. I was like, oh, you know what? He's really good at this. This could be really easy. And this will be a lot of fun.

So then we did have a lot of fun doing that. Did you got to tell him the contents of the play? Because this is the weirdest part of it. Like, our friend actually was, A little eccentric? And this is a Christian college. A Christian college. A small Christian college.

A small Christian college. And our friend Ashley is like, I'm going to put this play on. And it's about like this dude who's cheating on his wife with a prostitute. And the play opens with us duct tape back to back. In our underwear. And we just gotten robbed. What? But hold on a minute.

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There's, like, parts in the play where Heidi had to, like, fake an orgasm. What? I, like, when I say it back, I'm like, what, what was this? What is this? But that's how we met. So it's important. It's important to know. But you know what?

That catapulted us into the next piece because, first of all, someone told me that I, because I was like, I'm not doing this play. And she was like, no, you can do this play. Because you are going to find things that you love about people that you find, lovable. Number one, and you're going to be that. Number two, it helped me understand like pieces of people who are forced into this lifestyle. And then that was my career for 10 years. I worked with traffic victims, domestic sex traffic victims in the United States for 10 years. So very awkward to start, but a very full life afterwards. Wow. I thought that got real deep

real quick, Heidi. I appreciate that. Yeah. That's what she was. It's like, takes it real fun and light, and then she's like. So overall, you're glad you did the play at the end of the day, Heidi? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he was so funny because he was like, you know, I'm really good at coming up with things to do. And I was like, yeah, let's see it. And he's like, okay, I'm going to pick you up tonight at nine. And I was like, there's no way I'm going out with this guy by myself. So I made my best friend come with us to our first date. And we went

luge boarding down the hills of Sioux Falls. Wait, that's incredible. What a freaking legend you are, T. Right? I mean, how many other guys took you street losing? Zero. But here's the thing. Guess what shoes she showed up in.

What? Like flip flops? Gucci's. I don't know what's the coaching was. That was like literally the worst shoe you could. Yeah, tear your feet apart probably. Dang. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. But I didn't. You were safe. Did you just have a loo sitting around or was just on a skateboard? We made one. We made a couple of course you did. Wait, is that where like the DIY project started?

Or has that been like a part of your life, your whole life? That's kind of a part of my life. It was like something that, you know, I grew up on like an acreage in the middle of nowhere in South Dakota. So like, you know, we didn't have like arcades or movie theaters or like things to do. So we just kind of had to make our own fun. and my dad sells construction equipment so we always had like a plethora of tools around and so me and my brother kind of just you know started making stuff dang that's impressive i could see i mean i'm curious how this progresses then because your first date is like were you playing the the

adultering husband taylor was you were playing in the in the theater play yeah you were the yeah exactly you know out of the gate a tough role to kind of walk into and be like hey i'm serious about a relationship even given this so then you do the first date how did things progress from from there with you too oh slowly it was slow for a little bit yeah um you know you're in your last well i was in my last year of college and he's trying to figure out who he's in love with i don't know so you know there's a bunch of bunch of drama along the way but you know so there was one day we almost broke up and i was like you know what uh let's talk about this so we went to perkins love perkins let me yes right giant flag let me tell you how he tried to break up with me he tried

to play me the song don't stop believe don't stop i love this don't stop believing and i was like what are you doing i mean i mean i'm getting i guess the joke still on me because i was the one And I was like, we're not breaking up. That's the funny thing is like, here I am doing this idiotic thing to break up with you. And you're like, yeah, no, I want to stay with this guy. It seems like a legit relationship. I want to stick this out and see where this goes. But I was so mad at him for a few things that had led up to this moment that I was like,

we're going to go to Perkins and we're going to be in public because neither one of us can really scream at each other then. And then I just basically laid it out of like, look, this is what you've been doing, the last couple of months that is stupid. I don't like that. I don't appreciate it. It's not okay. And then he was like, all right, cool. Thanks for letting me know. So I guess we're both going to give us the best shot. And then we did. And then the rest of the history. Wait. And then how did the proposal go? Oh, the proposal was super cute. So that was three years later in, in, in Fargo, in Fargo, North Dakota, where I grew up. So he had moved away to Los Angeles and I had stayed back

in where we met in Sioux Falls for a year for a year and I think like a lot of people would maybe not make it through that but I think that really saved us because it was you know the heart makes or distance makes the heart grow fonder but we also were um both kind of pursuing our own things and so um so we kind of really knew who we both were by the time we rejoined and and I moved to LA we both really knew who we were and what we wanted and yeah that there was neither one of us were feeling like we missed down on anything so yeah it worked let me ask this because

okay so Taylor's pursuing acting and then Heidi gets inspired to work in like the sex trafficking how do I say that right sex yeah yeah anti-ht field two you know different different vibes there

how how are you navigating that i mean i feel like you know we kind of balance each other out because hidey's job and career was so heavy that like just kind of this silliness and the lightheartedness of what i was doing helped kind of balance her out but at the same time you know both take an incredible amount of motivation and drive to continue to pursue every single day. So, I mean, having somebody alongside you who's also aspiring to something and working on something, you know, sort of like helped us both push forward, I think. Yeah. But we also weren't in each other's fields at all. So there was zero competition at all to, you know, get on each other's skin or be like, I wouldn't do it that way, you know, or whatever it was. There

wasn't any of that. It was just a lot of encouragement on both ends. So yeah. Yeah, Heidi's like the best support system you could ever ask for because she just like just, you know, is there and helpful and, you know, makes you feel good about what you're doing. Even if what you're doing is, is bleaching your hair. No, she's not, not everything. Not everything. Yeah. But she'll let, well, and that's where she'll like, she'll like, she'll be helpful at redirecting and being like, hey, maybe this video is a. Bad idea. Well, so you guys get married. How old's your oldest kid? Six.

Six. Okay. So you guys go down this route of like you're married, you're starting a family. When down that road did you kind of leave the acting world? I guess you never really did to a certain extent and started like your own, um, entrepreneurial kind of thing within your household? I know the moment. Well, I mean, it happened gradually, but I know the time frame that it happened because Heidi doesn't know this, but I'm currently editing a video about it.

And like the video is basically about like how Heidi is such a huge part of what I do because of who she is and how she has supported me over the years. But there's one particular moment it was like a year into do dad so we're a year into making videos and um at the time i was an apartment manager and then i lost my job as an apartment manager because the like the owner sold the building and then the new company came in and they had their own people so they're like you don't have a job anymore and you need to move get out of here you know they did they can't tell us you had to be out 24 hours yeah 24 hours yeah yeah we're like no that's not that's not a thing you're not doing that we have a one year old

like what do you do you know so we pushed back but anyway it was a very like traumatic time so like you know not only did i have to go find a new place for us to live i also no longer had a job so i had to find a new job to make more money hidey changed changed non-profit jobs so she can make a little bit more money we were like dead broke like our first year marriage we made $25,000 collectively, like just in L.A. In L.A. Yeah. Granted, our rent was free, so that helped, but still, like nothing.

So then I got a job working set construction. So I'm working construction every week along with, you know, putting out a new do-deb-due every single week. And at the time, I'm still like writing, producing, editing, acting, all of it myself. No one, no help, you know, other than just friends occasionally. and then also still trying to audition, you know, keep myself available to make all the auditions.

And it was like way too much to handle. I couldn't do it anymore. And I was like, you know, just burning it at both ends. And then we found out Heidi was pregnant. Oh my gosh. With a second. So she's pregnant.

And so there's a lot going on. I couldn't handle it anymore. And I finally broke down to Heidi. And I was like, I have to quit something. This is too much. Can't do all of it. and without any hesitation, she looked at me and said,

you can't quit dude, dad. And that was crazy because at the time, we had like no following and it made no money, but she knew that there was something more there, and she believed in me when I didn't believe in me. So, and that was it because, like, then I look back on that. I'm like, well, what did I cut out? And it was acting.

I, like, slowly stopped going to auditions, when they were all the way across town and it was going to wreck my whole day, you know, when I had other things to plan to get a video shot or like a new little brand deal that came in that was worth 800 bucks, you know, so I stopped going to auditions and eventually my agent just dropped me. And so I look back and I'm like, oh, Heidi convinced me to quit acting. Sorry. No, but like it was the best thing ever because it was the past. that led us to where we are now, and I wouldn't try this for a ring.

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and clearly through the emotion, like, acting seemed like it was the goal for probably years maybe decades right and so for that to be the thing that gets phased out to make room for something there's that's so powerful and I know there's a lot of pain and depth to that and I was just reflecting the NFL draft just happened and so like I was just doing that same reflection process of like do the NFL that's what I wanted I wanted football so bad and I thought that's what I thought that was was best for me. But then now I look back and it's like you don't have you want it you don't want it any other way. And like I got hurt and beat up through that whole process and it stunk sometimes.

But like it's good now. Things are good. Well and Heidi relating to you, it's so hard. It's so hard as a spouse because there's so many times like you're almost an outsider. You have an outsider's perspective on your spouse because you see what they're going through. and there's been so many times from both of us where you get into those ruts where you're like overwhelmed and there's too much and you're like I don't know what to offload and we've even have we've even had conversations before where he'll say I'm going to quit this

and I'm like no no it's the wrong one like I know that's the wrong one because it means too much to you but you think it's someone you need to get rid of and it's that's a really hard position to be in as a spouse because you kind of have to like show support and like it's almost like reverse psychology to a certain extent. You're like, I support you and everything, but maybe like try this one a little bit more. But Heidi, what, what, what was it about doodad that you, that you didn't want Taylor to give up? I mean, it wasn't making any money, but like the small amount of people that were responding to like how the, like the very beginnings of it was just him talking about being a dad. and um like the experiences in little tiny moments and I was like who talks about this like what dad is

out there talking about his emotions and then having other dads and moms like respond back with their their own experience and relating so well and I was like you know there's a thousand things in the world that you can do but like when you find this the spot where you're going to be able to be so relatable and connected to humans like you know that's that's that's that's That's unmatched. So I was like, there's nothing that comes close to that. And you can make all the money in the world. But if you're not relating or connecting anybody or being, you know, then what are you doing?

Preach. Preach. Dang. Okay. So what was it about how did you stumble into like do dad as the even topic of what your videos were about? why that why not like it could be anything else that you were talking about but you chose that i mean i've been making youtube videos since i was like really little um like there's funny yeah when we used to me my brother started this channel called that well it wasn't a channel

because it wasn't channel this was before youtube even happened i was like nine and we created our own mad tv and we called it bad tv it's really bad but like one of my favorites was Clint Eastwood and hang him low and like it's me playing Clint Eastwood and I like I like I don't know wrangle this guy down and then I hang him but he has to hold his feet up so stupid anyway so I've been making videos you know from when I was little but I did a bunch more in college but I like always had an appetite for making my own content because I knew how to edit and and all the things you know And then, you know, as an actor, you kind of just have to continually stay creative, you know, because if you sit around and just wait for the next project that you get invited to be in,

you might never do anything, you know. So I had like tried starting a sketch channel a couple of times with a few different people, and it just never worked very well. And I've always found out, felt like I was doing like most of the work. So when I found out how he was pregnant, I was like, okay, I don't know how much longer we can stay in Los Angeles. It's way too expensive. It's not good for families. I might have to give up this dream, but maybe I can still like make videos and have a creative outlet.

And, you know, there's all these mom like blogs and people making videos about mom stuff, you know, and they're doing, they're killing it. Maybe I could be like the dad version of that. um so that's when i came up with dude dad i loved i actually love the name rad dad but i'm like everyone's using that i need something new so i came up with the next closest thing which was dude dad and uh and i just started making videos primarily about fatherhood as just sort of like a way to give myself a genre and uh little did i know that like i was like on the front end of of a wave that was about to happen with culture and fatherhood and fathers being, you know, more involved. And like, there's all this stuff about, like, father paternity leave now. And, like,

just like, you know, I was just got on the front of that thing. And there was like a few other, like, sort of big fatherhood giants in the social media space. And, but like, I knew how to make videos. And they didn't. So slowly, like. And you were doing Brandeels for. those yeah i start yeah exactly and i yeah started collaborating with some of them at one point one of them like stole my whole thing and i had to like do a cease and desist and everything and like it was a yeah yeah um they just like like copied the format and then called it dude to dad and i was like what is this you know it was crazy and like and i was i wasn't big enough to really fight much yet I was just like, now there's this corporation that has all of these, like, tools and, you know, people to, like, resources to make my thing so much better. And they, like, it was. Like, their, their editing was so much sharper and crisper and everything. But at the end of the day, like, and, you know, I had, like, a few good people in my life, you know, including Heidi. But, like, my mentor at the time was like, yeah, but they don't have you. Like, you know, you're the gold. You need to just keep.

doing your thing and forget about them, you know. So anyway, I don't remember the question. How did you get to? Yeah. Yeah. I am curious. So with like content creation, especially the kind of empire you've created, it can be very, very consuming.

We all are very aware that content creation can literally be a full-time job times a hundred. I love it so much though, dude. I freaking love it. But go ahead. Sorry. Because on top of you could just create and create and create and never stop, you're technically dictating your own hours. You could work all day and never stop and never create enough content with the internet. Because your content is fatherhood, because everything around what you post is about giving back as a father and like all the morals behind it.

how do you balance teaching and sharing content that is so good around fatherhood but also being a good father that's that's a great question as something i you know kind of struggle with for a little bit um but i know something we talk about often it is and not all of our stuff is about fatherhood now there's a lot of you know there's a lot of stuff that's just about like marriage and stuff and we found that, you know, the comedy path was easier because sometimes, like, it's hard to be insightful every week and have something like thoughtful and profound to say every week. I don't know how pastors do it. You know, I think they just bank on the fact that only half the parishion is listening each one. But, no, but it is something, that's an element that I've used to keep myself honest.

you know that like if i put out a video you know that shows me in one way i i really take that to heart and go like okay if this is who i'm telling people i am i need to be that person so then when i'm not being that person like it hurts and i have to like keep myself in check you know but i also i think the other part of it is is like um you know in those videos where we like you know really talk about stuff or even just in stories and stuff like i try to be very like honest about my struggle you know because i think that's more of what it's about is like showing the vulnerability and and who we are and that it's hard for us too and not painting it like we're this pretty picture with everything it's like an instagram feed you know like you only show

the good things right so you know trying to show the bad things too and being like hey uh i had a shouting that with my kid today in the yard and I'm super nervous and my kids all hurt it or all my neighbors all hurt yeah you know okay so question uh for for you Heidi so you make these comedy sketches together but I there are certain instances where it seems like Heidi's featured you know as the mom or the female but then there's other instances where Taylor just says I'm gonna do both I'm going to I'm going to dress up and how do you delineate between those two? How do you figure that out? Well, sometimes it's really just about my availability if I was available that day.

That's for sure. That's part of it. But other times it's when he's going to, he needs to make the jokes and I'm not going to make them, you know, so he'll dress, he'll play me. I mean, yeah, there's all, all of my wife be likes are just. just they're meant to make fun of, but also in a, a fun way to be like, see, this is funny. Like, you can laugh at this, right? This is funny. Yeah. So, but, you know, when if you feel like you're being made fun of in some ways, then you're less likely to, like, deliver, like, the way

it needs to be delivered to be relatable, you know? So, and I can get way too much into my head when we're, like, filming stuff. Like, if there's anything, that's like a super emotional scene. I have a, like, a really hard time with that. Like, he has to, he has to basically act it out for me so that I can, like, give him the performance that he needs or, like, the bit that he needs, because I'm like, I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. Sounds familiar over here.

Yeah. I don't know how much actual footage there is, but anytime, like, Heidi does a really emotional scene, there's a clip right before that of me doing it to be like, look do it like this come up here you're going to fall down the stairs you're like I can't do it and then and then and then and then cry yeah it's just it's like a literal like talking yourself up in my mind to be like okay just just do it just don't think about it too hard and go for it and just do it and then he always uses those takes we go through that same thing Sean I like I have so many ideas where I'm like Sean I just I just need you to like act a little bit and

she's i'm not acting at all you can't give me to act at all so anyway those ideas die but what were you about to say she always nails it eventually though and the thing that hidey's really good at is is just being herself so like and like reacting she's really good at reacting in the moment and making it feel authentic even if she already like even if it's the second take and she already knows what the bit is you know or what the prank is or whatever she can come in and give us another like clean reaction. It feels really real. And that's why we've like, you know, it is easier if I just play her because I know exactly what I want and I want to get. But also then we can have more fun with it because then it becomes a perspective thing of like, this is how I see my

wife. That's why it's my wife be like and not moms be like. Because it gives you that perspective of like, oh, this is how the husband sees his wife, you know. But then it also gives us that second video where Heidi gets to watch the video and react to it. And we found people like those just as much as the first video. Yeah. Funny. Dang. This episode

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So playing off of the question that I asked about like protecting almost like Instagram versus reality your YouTube fatherhood versus fatherhood um with my wife be like with the storytelling with the comedy acts with showing your family your kids how do you protect your marriage and your family I know we've we've interviewed a lot of different people within this space of content creation that that share their life and a lot everybody has a different take on it. But are there boundaries, are there conversations, are there working hours, or are there things that you guys have put in place to kind of protect your relationship and your family?

I think that there's some. And there's some just naturally built in, like, as far as like hours and times. Because our kids are, are really, they're not, I'm not going to say needy. They're just kids at night. And they want to be with mom and dad. So, and I don't. have enough attention span to be able to like focus on them and something else at the same time like this morning Taylor wanted to go wanted to like list off some things and you wanted to like have this conversation about this thing and I was like I literally can't right now. I like I hear everything that the kids are doing and I'm like so I'm making breakfast but I'm also so focused and can hear every single word they're saying to each other that I literally won't be able to hear a word

that you say. So some of it's just built in of like what our kids need. And at night, like our daughter needs to sleep with us. She wants us to lay with her. It's kind of a non-negotiable for her going to bed. And I don't care. I love that moment with her. And so, so I'm not available at that time. And like, that's just kind of, you already has feelings about that. But that's just kind of like where some things lie is like just whatever our kids need. And because I, my own capacity just can't keep up with two worlds at once but that's just naturally built in and our son calls him out all the time because he's starting to want to play on his own iPod and all the things so so we've put time limits on like what he can how long he can be on and he'd be like well

dad was on his phone dad's on his phone why is why is he gets to be on his phone more and I'm like oh yeah yeah dad why are you on your phone right now why are you in your phone you know because I'm paying for your college yeah exactly So, but there's just some built and stuff like that where he's watching and I'm like seriously and like Taylor will just be like finishing an email or having to respond to something. I'm like, I get it, but you really have to put it down now. You like you have to set it down because he's looking at you wondering why you're there and not with him. You know? Yeah. But I so there are, I think there is also like in terms of content, there's, there's not too many boundaries of what we won't talk about, you know, with our. relationship with our kids maybe a little bit more. Yeah. And if there and if there is something that we don't want to talk about in a relationship, it's almost instinctive that we know that we shouldn't, you know.

But for the most part, like, I feel like we've gotten pretty comfortable with being very open. And I'm proud of that because, like, I think the more vulnerable we are, the more real we are, the more relatable we are, the more it helps other people with whatever they're dealing with, you know, if they see us dealing with it, and having that, you know, fight or that issue that they can, like, go, oh, okay, me and my wife aren't, you know, get self-destructing right now. Like, a lot of couples go through this. Yeah. But I think the other piece is that nothing goes unsaid between the two of us. So usually

by the time it's two camera or that, you know, it's gotten brought up. We already know where the other one stands on it. And we've already had a little bit of discussion. So it's not like attacking each other. The spouse fights videos, like we've done two different videos now where it's like top five spouse fights. So we've have 10 different fights now. Every single one of those is a legitimate real fight that we have ongoing, right? Like it's and, you know, I write them and, you know, make sure I show them to hiding and stuff. But I think the reason it works is that I make sure in the writing process that I'm showing that I'm giving a solid representation. to her point of view and a solid representation of my point of view so the audience can decide

what their point of view is but no one looks like no one looks more insane than the other person you know like we both look insane or whatever you want to call it yeah i'm just thinking back to the last time we did one because we were writing it and we've like gotten a fight about writing it and i'm like he's like this is this is it this is perfect this is it do it get the camera That's one of Andrew's favorite questions to ask people is we'll be on like double dates and he's like, what's your like number one fight? No, no, no, no. I asked it one time and then I realized that it's the wrong question to ask. Because it's never resolved.

Because yeah, those fights are ongoing. Yes. How can we have an awful night this evening? Enjoy your fight. Good hanging. A funny story is the one couple he did ask. It was like, it was almost as if that that argument. just picked straight back up and it was like they just went cold to each other for the rest of the

night we're like oh shoot it was yeah it was regarding we're having like such good conversation just yeah you know it would just awesome night and then I was like so what would you say your biggest fight I don't know what I'm an idiot like that's why I asked a question and they were like it was actually regarding the Sabbath and should you oh shoot what was it like should it be fully a day of rest or like not and that was that was their biggest fight and so like they were like yeah it's you know it's about how seriously we should take this after what do you mean taking seriously to the buddy oh my gosh okay all right anyway um i'm curious taylor what what is your creative process do you have like a process or a practice uh i'm way too tight be um but so like the way i've kind

of like tried to explain it to my team and I and everyone you know kind of has to learn to go with the flow um and I have you know I have my my two best friends DJ and Burke who are helping now as well and and they'll come up with ideas and write stuff as well but the videos that get made the quickest are the ones where something happens between us or you know we see something or you know the kids do something crazy and I'm inspired with an idea And then, like, when I have an idea that I like, I can't stop until it's done, you know? Very true. When I'm not sure how to get the idea off the ground, it will take a long, you'll drag me kicking

and screaming to finish it, you know, or to figure it out, you know. And that's where, like, DJ comes and, like, handy. Like, I have, like, this golf analogy where DJs are really good, like, driver, right? where he can hit the ball down the fairway and get the round started. And then Burke is my caddy because he can help kind of figure out how to get the thing done. And then I'm there just trying to make decisions along the way and they're helping me get there. And then we get the whole thing shot and then DJ putts it in. Yeah.

That's great. I book recommendation and then we'll talk about your book, but the War of Art talks, it's a really, interesting take on the creative process. And I'm taking you as a creative type, so you might enjoy it. But speaking of books, let's talk about your new book coming out in May. A dude's guide to baby size. Let's go. By the way, phenomenal name. I love that name. Thank you. I'm glad you do because I've had sleepless nights wondering if it was the wrong name. No, I love it. Okay. Cool. Let me just, I think this is a take from your trailer that you made on it which I loved so much very well done but it says it's all

about a dude's relate like you know there's a bunch of books about um their baby's development and comparing them to a raspberry or a stock of broccoli but you say first of all your baby's not some wimpy little vegetable your baby is like a hardcore little lug nut who's straight up growing organs on a weekly basis which i feel like gives a good take on what the book is but but what what was the inspiration behind this um essentially that like we were pregnant with juno at the she was pregnant with juno at the time um and i was there and and there was just i just kept noticing all these apps and and stuff talking about lug nut or about vegetables and fruit and compared to how size how big your baby was and i was like what the hell's a cumquot like

i don't know what that is that's that's zero relevance to me i'm like there needs to be a version of this that's for men. So I came up with the idea back then. I started writing it. And then I was like, I don't know how to get a book published. Let's just shelf this idea and maybe someday it'll come back around. And then, God, it's been a couple years ago now when I got like an opportunity with a book agent who then connect me with Penguin Random House and my editor Andrew, who just so happened to be like a huge fan of mine. and his wife was pregnant while we were writing the book. Wow.

So, like, it was just, like, a perfect scenario. But originally it was going to just be, like, a coffee table book that had, like, a picture and a page, you know. And then they pushed it further than that. So it became, it goes way past pregnancy. So now, like, the first chapter basically, like, tells you what's happening with the baby and with the mom, which I think is amazing because I think as, you know, expecting dads, like, we see our wives going through all this stuff and we're like uh you need pickles or ice cream or you know like that's the only thing we know um but to have like you know information that is written

for guys to help understand what they could be doing that during this time other than just being on the sidelines is huge um but then after that so the first you know paragraph of each chapter kind of like gets that out of the way and then after that it uses the item to sort of dive into a story that I have from my past as a as a dad or even from my childhood um that relates to the item but you know is uh they uses the item to you know to jump off into like a story time about like a fatherhood lesson so yeah yeah so i mean it's really just like a great way to just get you know new dad's minds you know turning about like okay what is this going to be like what you know what should i be doing right now what should i be thinking about right now what kind of

dad do i want to be you know because again there's not very many things out there for dads to learn how to connect emotionally to that process not at all you know so or even just prep and like be thinking about or being inspired you know but the book is it's not that big you know and so like we we went to the all of garden the night and did the lie from all of garden because he talks of olive garden in there but um chapter 24 your baby is now the size wait is the 24 i think so forget now the size of a bowl of olive garden soup and bread sticks wow that's awesome that's a way better reference point than an eggplant which i've never seen a a grown eggplant in my life well and all have different eggs plants are all different sizes week 25 i'm sorry it's very close

but people were replying and they were like well my husband's not going to read and i was like well read it to him. Also, we have an audio book. Yeah. Audio books are great because that's how I do it too. I'm an audio book guy. Hit pause on whatever you're listening to and hit play on your next adventure. This fall get double points

on every qualified stay. Life's the trip. Make the most of it at Best Western. Visit bestwestern.com for complete terms and conditions. Heidi, as a mom of three, having gone through three pregnancies, have you read it and our thing, like, would

agree that everything's side by side because I do believe that was one of the hardest things with our daughter our first baby is as a first dad you have no idea one as the wife or a spouse to like communicate how I need help and support and to how to like explain what's going on and how to prepare because books literally only tell the mom like oh you should probably start thinking about this. So I think that's really, really cool. Yeah. So I have read the whole book with him. He write it all out loud to me through different, different days, doing dinner, after dinner, after bed time, sitting in the bathtub, all the things. So I have heard all of it. All the stories are really great and relatable. And yeah, I think it does do a great job at, I mean,

it's not going to go into all the details that a woman needs to know about her body, because that's not the point of the book, but it does do a good job of giving a good perspective of what's going on and then, yeah, like how to connect to the process. And he does give ideas. I can't remember it's every chapter, but there's one chapter in particular where there's like, what, 10 to 12 different action items that you can take right now to help your, to help the baby's mama. Yeah. There's awesome. Yeah. There's a lot of, there's, I think, yeah, probably every like, there's probably four or five times where there's like it just gives ideas of what you can do or what you can be thinking about yeah so who can't because there yeah there is advice on how to

help the mom to be my idea did that advice come from you or is that more tailored inspired I think it's both that's good yeah yeah because there's a couple things that he read to me I'm like no yeah take that out I just the to the wives who say their husbands won't read I disagree there's just not a lot to your point Heidi of material meant for husbands on on this subject so it's like I would read the heck out of this book um you know like because it's targeted towards me and I've already I've already recommended this book to a handful of our friends we have so many friends who are pregnant right now eight friends pregnant which is crazy it's awesome but like you're right because reflecting back on when Sean was pregnant

with Drew, our first, it's like the guy wants to be supportive, he's there. Like, you know, I went to every doctor's appointment, but I, you have no idea. Like, you got no clue. And so it wasn't until, like, our pediatrician or the doctor was like, okay, hey, so, you know, your wife's feet are throbbing. You should, like, massage them. It's like, you know, I just don't have the intellectual capability to have that inspirational thought of my own.

So you. you're also like a super thoughtful guy so like imagine the the guys like we make like some of it we make it really simple and straightforward like hey she might not say it but she wants you to go to the doctor's appointments yeah you know like if it's if it's your third one like maybe you're taking care of the other kids and you just go to a few of the important ones but if it's your first baby go to as many of them as possible you know and my editor was like well you know some guys have jobs and stuff so maybe we want to phrase it more like I'm like no no I was like women of jobs too like she's got to go to every single

one why don't you also go to every single one like figure it out like if you really can't go then you won't go but at least you'll feel guilty yeah what is your desired effect with this book Taylor I mean I just hope that it like inspires and and gets men like engaged early on in the process you know like I remember when our first one it was like the last two months months of pregnancy. And I've, you know, been going to all the appointments and stuff with her. Not a lot. But in like the last like two months, I remember having like a mental like freak out of like, oh crap, I'm about to be a dad and I haven't read anything. I don't know what I'm doing. What's going to happen? You know, so like and also like I know that there's a lot of the pregnancy books that are

really boring. So I'm like I feel like I can, you know, bridge that gap a little bit and make something that's like, you know, attainable and easy and accessible and speaks to. to, you know, speaks in a way that men can, like, relate and understand, you know, and it answers the questions that they want to know, like, are we ever going to have sex ever again, you know, like, you know, it's in there, like, because they, you know, it's embarrassing, but 100% every guy has that question of like, is it over, you know? Yeah. I was speaking to my buddy, they have a baby due in five weeks.

And he's like, he's like, dude, me and my wife. had naked time in six months, like since the first trimester, I was like, oh, dang. Oh, my God. It's okay. That's supposed to change the second time. It's supposed to change second time. I know. It's the desert out there, though. All right, we'll close with this. I'm curious. Heidi, what are you most proud of for Taylor? And then we'll go vice versa, too. Oh, my gosh. Uh, Andrew. I'm not, I don't know how to answer that because like someone was asking us that question the other day and I was like how do you tell some how do you tell like somebody that you I don't that you wouldn't know what to how to live life without just how

proud of them and how like incredibly grateful you are that they're in your life like I don't like I don't get it like you're everything I don't get it so I don't know how you can be everything you know but I think oh you're trying to say you want to make out I'm saying so I think the the biggest way to understand like how impactful is is that there's bothers all over literally the world that are inspired by like what he created and what he did so I think that's what I'm most proud of is just that like not only do I see it like a wife is going to see the things that they love about their spouse, but it's something else for, like, a globe to see that, you know? So I think that's what I'm the most proud of.

That's all said. Thank you. Okay, Taylor. I'm just, I'm like the most proud of your authenticity and, like, you are exactly who you are. And anybody that ever sees anything, you know, with you in it or about you, like, there is zero like zero veil or it's just, you're just 100% authentic that like you're who you say you are. You're who everyone thinks you are. And I think that's why people like you better than me. But that's why I like you better than me too because you're just. you're just real and and like the real person you are is a very generous like thoughtful human being it's just like a giver thank you well Taylor I'm glad you said that because we really just wanted to interview Heidi but since you were the one right in the book we decided yeah but it is I mean it's

it's great you guys first of all your videos are hilarious so thank you for that but what's very apparent is the comedy and the source of that I think is so sticky and powerful and relatable because it comes from this place of like you guys have experienced the realness of the arguments that you're that you're making skits about now and just everyday life problems and you're not like it's not like Taylor and Heidi or you know skipping through life laughing all the time it's like no you just have this general approach that like hey this is this is good and it's It's all working towards the good. So I really appreciate you giving us a time.

And for those listening who haven't checked out, Dude Dad, we'll link that down below. And also Taylor's new book that he wrote with Heidi's Wisdom. It's called A Dude's Guide to Baby Size. Check it out. It's out May. And congratulations on everything. Glad to know you now.

Yeah, you guys as well. Thank you so much for having us. Yeah, I was super stoked to know we were going to come on a podcast with you. Thanks for taking us to therapy today. Hopefully we didn't spark any arguments. Seriously. This was fun. No, no.

I feel like we're leaving very connected. So like you guys have that power. I appreciate it. I'm going to make out now. Yeah. Yeah, let's do it.