Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew - 130 | our biggest flaws

Episode Date: September 7, 2022

In this episode we talked openly about something nobody wants to talk about…our biggest flaws. We also talked about each other’s biggest flaws and let’s just say things got interesting. We hope this inspires you to be open and transparent with yourself and your spouse so your relationship can reach its full potential and be the best it can be!  What are your biggest flaws? Let us know in the comments!  Follow My Instagram ▶ http://www.instagram.com/ShawnJohnson Like the Facebook page! ▶ http://www.facebook.com/ShawnJohnson Follow My Twitter ▶ http://www.twitter.com/ShawnJohnson Snapchat! ▶ @ShawneyJ Follow AndrewsTwitter ▶ttp://www.twitter.com/AndrewDEast Follow My Instagram ▶ http://www.instagram.com/AndrewDEast Like the Facebook page! ▶ http://www.facebook.com/AndrewDEast Snapchat! ▶ @AndrewDEast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

At Starbucks, we serve cold coffee just the way you like it. That refreshing chill of ice. That rich, smooth taste you crave. That handcrafted care every time. Your summer ritual is ready at Starbucks. What we're talking about? This is. The episode after we do, the most common things we fight about,

we're going to be talking about our biggest flaws. Yes. I think this is more a joke on us than it is for the audience. I think it's serious for them. If you guys missed last week's episode, or our last like solo episode um we did our biggest fights like what we fight about but the comical thing of that episode was we literally started the episode in the middle of a fight like a decent one an argument let me clear an argument yeah i actually hope that was helpful because i feel like

sometimes talking about how you do battle can help you improve or just giving a real life example because we were in the thick of it that's right uh yeah so the natural transition after an episode like that is to talk about our biggest flaws so not only are we going to be sharing what we think are biggest flaws are what Andrew thinks Andrew's biggest flaws we're going to be telling each other what we think each other is biggest flaws is as well so needless to say a little nervous yeah um this actually came from a daily devotional though that Sean and I were reading and it talked about how it's important not to be blind to your own floss yes so you're supposed to be very self-reflective yeah and say like what am I doing wrong what could I do better but also on the

flip side you're supposed to be receptive to your spouse's critiques because your spouse knows you better than anyone in the world yeah and ultimately if you do this in a mature way it can really benefit the relationship I think yeah you think that yeah I'm scared though so we had talked about this many, many times on our podcast with our goal setting. Something that we do within our relationship is once a month, we try to find a safe space. And what we call a safe space is somewhere that is not our home. So we go to a coffee shop, we go to dinner, whatever it is. And it's strictly dedicated to, for lack of a better word, criticism. And what that means for us is basically, we call it our monthly check-in. And whenever we go to this safe space, we're like, okay, this is our, our

for the next hour where we can sit and tell each other, you know what, this month, I've had a really hard time with X, Y, and Z, you're not closing the cabinets, whatever it is. It can be ridiculous. It can be serious. It can be superficial, whatever. But it's meant to be a place where we can bring up these, like, issues that we have that are on our heart. And it's supposed to be, um, the rule is you have to be able to accept it in a gentle way and not get defensive. Yeah, and also deliver it like. Yeah. It's not attacking like so easily.

Sean and I can slip into like, Sean, you never take out the trash. And it's just like this reactive thing where I'm emotional and then she becomes emotional as a result. So the thing we try to do in those monthly check-ins is take a step back and analyze the patterns that we've seen, which is super helpful. Like, when you think of it in terms of patterns of, hey, this is a healthy habit or pattern, this is an unhealthy habit or pattern, and say, I don't think this is healthy. Like, I've been seeing you do X, Y, Z. Like, I've seen you drink a glass of wine every night this week, and let's maybe not pursue that pattern. But are you bringing the set?

Now, it's now a good time. No. But the other thing about that is, like, if there's patterns where you're gripey or, like, you're having patterns of broken relationships because because you're too quote unquote honest with people. Like maybe that's not a healthy pattern for you. So anyway, this passage that I want to read says that there are things about yourself

that you are ashamed of or afraid of, but you don't let the other person see your flaws. And of course, you cannot show your partner those parts of your character that you cannot see yourself and which will only be revealed to you in the course of marriage, which is the reason that Sean and I love marriage so much is there's no other relationship structure like it.

You have the contract, you have the spiritual aspect, you have the financial aspect, you have the parenting aspect, if that's an add-on that you include. But it's like it really is the most intertwined relationship that we can have as humans. And so like even the contractual side of things is good because it's a hurdle that prevents people

from escaping the relationship easily. And obviously exceptions, we could talk about those. Like, me not being able to just be like, all right, I'm out. See you, Sean. It was a nice seven years. Yeah. Forces us to like deal with flaws.

Yeah. And hopefully we can do that better and better as time goes on. I do want to add a couple of things. So speaking on those monthly check-ins that we do, I want to put an asterisk there and let you guys know, we don't save, like, critiques only for once a month. Yeah. So, Sean unleashes on me hourly. minute by minute speaking of your biggest flaws okay go ahead okay um so we we are having daily communication

throughout the day weekly as far as like gripes and vents and like whatever it is um so we don't save that but i do think we we bring those critiques or criticism up more gently during that monthly check-in that we should do better day to day another thing to know is every single person and every single relationship has flaws. And if you're sitting there here listening to this podcast, you're like, oh, we have no flaws. I would actually kind of challenge you to look, look for a flaw.

It sounds weird. But like, be more self-reflective and see if there's something that you can better. Because I think constantly trying to better yourself is a great thing. Yeah. You ever been around this people that like, I guess it's kind of like a one-upper

would be like a flaw. Yeah. It's like, oh, I heard your story about how delightful your interior design process went. Let me tell you how mine was even better. Yeah. So it's like the no flaws thing in and of itself is a flaw. But some of the things that we should share before we share some flaws is that if we put on our best face in marriage and hide all the uncomfortable stuff from the person that we love the most, then there's no way that our spouse. can fully know us and so like it's almost like don't let your insecurities be an obstacle for love

i've actually been challenged with this in our relationship because i did come from a lot of like quote unquote scars whether it's from like eating disorders or whatever perfectionism gymnastics a lot of different things that i tried so hard for so long to just hide from andrew and not to say like so long like the 10 years we've been together but i I spent at least our first or second year trying to not let him see that side of me. And I finally got to a point where I was like, you know what, this is exhausting. And I kept having this like thought in my mind. If only he knew who I was, he wouldn't want to be with me.

And so there was literally one day where I just unleashed. And I was like, this is everything wrong with me. I remember that day. And it was really emotional for both of us because it just, showed such like trauma and insecurity and all these things but the best thing that ever happened to us is like moving forward from that and him being able to help me with my insecurities my flaws and actually challenge me to be better and to be like my teammate and not just a critic yeah it's also like not giving your partner enough credit um like in that situation Sean first of all you there's

no hiding anything. It's like, all right, if you have an eating disorder or you have this demon from your past, like you're always going to be anxious in XYZ situations when it's, you know, an associative event or you're not going to be enjoying the meal because you have all these thoughts. It's like my goal, honestly, when we started making YouTube videos, I told you this with making videos and my goal as your husband is like, I'm I feel like the more the world can get to see of the real Sean like that. What is the girl? No, I'm just, when you start giggling and like you are you, that's the best freaking, that's the best.

Thank you. There's nothing like that. So how can I just cut through all that insecurity? It's like, it freaking doesn't matter. It doesn't. I don't care about that. It's like there's something, whatever. Okay.

That's my rant. Anyway, so it is this concept of like accept the gift of love and like just be open to that. You know, you got to be a good receiver. With Amex Platinum, access to exclusive Amex pre-sale tickets can score you a spot trackside. So being a fan for life turns into the trip of a lifetime. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Pre-sale tickets for future events subject to availability and varied by race. Turns and conditions apply.

Learn more at MX.ca. also it's easy in marriage to be critical of the other person and fail to see your own flaws so we try to be really aware of where we personally fall short and like this concept of be the audience to your own life not always easy takes a lot of work and self-reflection I will say though that's very difficult it's very difficult especially if you it's a practice and I think with practice things become easier and when they become easier, they become routine. So it's very easy to fall into a pattern of, oh, you're doing this and you're doing that, and this is where you're wrong and this is, like, whatever.

But if you are constantly trying to challenge that with, you know what, I can do better at this. And if you have a critique, like, or criticism deliver it in a gentle way, but, yeah, be the first to, like, own something on your own side before you point the finger at someone else. Yeah, I've been trying to shift my mentality from what's wrong with Sean to what's wrong with what is collectively wrong with us. So if Sean has five things wrong with her and I have six things wrong with me. Excuse me. Collective, we have 11 things wrong with us. And if I take care of two of my own instead of honestly doing the way harder work, which is trying to get you to change your five, then we will have less.

We'll have less things wrong between us. There's a lot to impact there, but we'll do that later. Okay, I want to get into this, our biggest flaws. Okay. Let's just talk about what we think our biggest flaws in marriage are. And I'm talking about individually. Let's start there. All right, what's wrong with Andrew in our marriage?

No, like you talk about yourself and I'll talk about myself. I'm happy to start. Go for it. I am my worst critic. Is that what that's how you say that? I am a perfectionist and I set the bar way, way too high on expectations for myself. And when it comes to our marriage, if I ever don't live up to the expectation that I've set for myself, I take it out on everybody. Because I get into this spiral of just disappointment and self, like bad self talk.

And it just never is good for anyone. And I get defensive and all of these things. And it affects our marriage. I would say that is my biggest flaw in our marriage. Is I expect perfection from myself, if not everybody. Which is also part of the reason why I love you, though. That's the irony. All right.

So then let's go. Now let me talk about the things I think are wrong with you. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'll start here. So Andrew. I think I overcommit us. I've been really challenged by the fact that when I do that, it negatively impacts you, which seems like such an obvious thought that I should have had seven years ago. But I just had it. Wow. Last week I had that thought. I was like, huh? anyway so that's one um i would say expectations in the sense of scheduling i'm not good at right like are those two separate things i don't you want to separate those i'm saying i don't set expectations for like hey i'm busy these four hours of the day or set expectations of i'll be home at this appropriate time whatever i think maybe i'm just going to chime in here i think maybe a better

way of voicing that flaw is like communication. I actually think I'm a good communicator. Okay. Great. I think I'm a. Do you remember an hour ago? I'm trying to be honest. An hour ago when we had a phone call and I was stuck at home without a car and I was like,

can you pick me up on your way to the office? I freaking called you, dude. I called you. Did I answer? No. Okay. I called you at 1257. Did you think to text me?

I had a call anyway. And what's funny is like that communication side of I texted you and I was like, are you still picking me up? I tried to call you. I was like, did you forget about me? And you just didn't. You see how you just freaking jumped in and started doing my critiques for me? My cause. Well, it's unnecessary.

I'm sorry. I'm kidding. Um, I would say the, um, I would say the, um, other thing is I don't struggle with like overbearing I don't think or being too anxious or like OCD about stuff maybe I'm the opposite where it's like I'm too lax even with the kids where it's like ah they're okay he can climb on the table I would say I'm probably the more overbearing one yeah I was maybe that's a flaw is I have a tingle of recklessness.

Yeah. You said it though. I think I probably expend energy on a lot of things before I expend energy with you. Like, yeah, we've had that conversation with friends, with, like, I'll, like, work out, then I'll hang out with, like, friends,

and then I'll, like, be too tired to hang out with you. And give you my best. Do you forgive me? Yeah, I would agree with that. And that one, that one hurts my... You're still talking about flaws for me. That one hurts my soul. Also, don't make a freaking too big a deal out of it.

It's like, all right, all right. It is how it is. What can we do? What can we do, Andrew? Reparitize. Shift things around. So I'm able to give you the best. Anyway.

This episode is brought to you by Defender. With its 626 horsepower twin turbo V8 engine, the defender, Octa, is taking on the Dakar rally, the ultimate off-road challenge. Learn more at landrover.ca. Today's episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Listen, people don't always realize that physical symptoms like headaches, sleeping too little, sleeping too much,

under-eating, and overeating can all be indicators of stress. And as a parent, we definitely get too. little sleep, so we're working to stay on top of things mentally. And with BetterHelp, speaking with a therapist has never been easier. BetterHelp is customized online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist, so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. I've recently been chatting online with a therapist, and it's been a game changer.

As a parent, sometimes the chat feature is the easiest thing to do since we don't have a lot of time on our hands. So if you haven't tried therapy and if you haven't tried online therapy, why? Why not give it a try right now? A couple things is sponsored by BetterHelp, and our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash ESFAM. That's B-E-T-T-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash EastFam. Give it a try.

Let's get back to it. Do you want to talk about, was there any revelations that you had with these specific flaws? Was there a moment where like, oh, I realized it? Probably right now when the question's asked and you have to self-reflect. I don't know, I've always been pretty aware of my like perfectionism issues, I would say. But I do notice them at times with like, within our marriage and being a parent, I am way too hard on myself. And when I get hard on myself, I get down. And when I get down, I get defensive.

And it's just a perpetuating cycle. And it never ends well. so I think working on that kind of going back to the beginning of this episode and we are saying you kind of have to be very self-reflective and work on yourself before you can never

criticize someone else I think it makes it easier for me sometimes to be like oh if only he was doing this it would help or if only so-and-so did this better it would help when it's actually like a mean problem I think as we get older like the number of commitments

that we have grows especially as we have kids and those commitments like really expand the list of commitments grows like I used to be able to overcommit us collectively and it not really be a problem

like oh we could fly to New York today and then L.A. tomorrow and then this I think they might have still been a problem no it was but it but the problem exposes itself way more when you have kids yeah yeah because someone's left at home

with the kids for X amount of time or whatever This feels like a sore spot I didn't mean it like that I will say too A flaw that we both carry And we have to work at constantly As we're both very stubborn

And What? Are we speaking for each other or for yourself? I'm speaking for it I don't see a list of our collective Just speak for yourself bro no this is a collective thought a collective flaw a collect would you agree what just happened go ahead I touch you trying to give it back I think a collective flaw for both of us is are stubborn we both have very very strong opinions we're very independent we're very

driven and what are you speaking for me now I transition to let me finish use the pronoun I You just say it. No. Say it. Are you serious? No. This is a perfect example. You're out of balance

Yeah Oh my God Case and point I'm too stubborn to say we He's too stubborn to accept it That's gorgeous Hey Andrew I'm crying

Would you say you're stubborn Let me speak for my own Let me speak for my own self I have tears in my eye Okay So the next section says Think of something Or a few things you view as a flaw

And the other person Andrew I would say you are stubborn What I was going to say is we're both stubborn. We have opinions worse. Hot-headed, not hot-headed, strong-headed. Strong-willed. Strong-willed.

Just like you witnessed. Hard-headed, strong-willed. There we go. And that makes for budding heads. I think sometimes your empathy radar is too sensitive. This happens. No, no, no, I know. I know.

I know. It's a really amazing thing. I think your empathy radar isn't. existent that's not true speaking that's what I can say it accurately I think your empathy radar could be stronger

I definitely cross more bounds consciously I think I think like Sean I'll see this happens at restaurants like I'll be like hey excuse me can I have some more water and she'll be like that was aggressive

and I was like no I freaking wasn't I just asked for water it was the freaking in there necessary that was aggressive but all I'm saying is that was an example of a restaurant it also happens in our relationship where she's like you seem sad i'm like i'm freaking not is it freaking necessary it was a joke it was a joke but there's like you're like so sensitive to that stuff where it's counterproductive sometimes not that productivity is always the point

but it's like all right we got to make dinner so can we freaking oh my gosh you get it so that's one thing I would say I also appreciate it about you so I would say something I appreciate about you no not really I'm kidding uh of something that we struggle with but I would say is your flaw is you tend to argue in a cold manner I agree with that you think it's more beneficial to remove emotion and like sympathy or comfort of any kind because you think it's more productive when I understand it might feel that way for you

but not for me. I think I mean I think I view it as like hey we have an issue let's figure out what it is and fix it this is cliche

but you're like I just want to feel loved what's wrong with that? Nothing but if you bring up an issue then I'm going to want to fix it oh this is so interesting maybe that's the issue to begin with is me not feeling loved i think that um probably one of my flaws is we're talking about each other's or either

Sean has like all right orderliness mm-hmm most ity like Sean's mom will come and help with things around the house right but she's not always there so when your mom is not there you still expect things to be super tidy and orderly yes but we have just less possibility of that there's less time

and help to have that happen and so it's like we can't we can't do it dude I'm riding bikes with Drew I'm not going to clean up the kitchen hit pies on whatever you're listening to and hit play on your next adventure this fall get double points on every qualified

stay life's the trip make the most of it at best western visit bestwestern.com for complete terms and conditions today's episode is brought to you by levels health i know that a lot of you have seen the sensor that i wear on my arm in the videos actually this weekend we posted one and it got a lot of feedback but this is my levels monitor levels uses a continuous glucose monitor which is what i have here and has been a game changer in understanding how our food affects our health. I got Sean hooked on one too and we're super pumped. Levels helps you see how food affects your health by giving you real-time feedback on your diet using a continuous glucose monitor. When we first started as Levels members, we thought that we understood our metabolic health pretty well, but it turns out

like most people, we had no idea how some foods were affecting us until we got our hands on our body's own unique data. Levels has tangibly changed my diet and how and when I eat. I used to crush carbs in the morning for breakfast, but I realized that come 11 or 12 o'clock, I would crash and feel like I needed to take a nap. And levels helped show me that my blood sugar was quite literally spiking and then crashing, and that's what was causing my drop in energy levels. And now, instead of just a feeling, I have real data to back that up with. So if you want to better understand how food affects your health and try a continuous glucose monitor yourself, go to levels. dot link forward slash east fam to learn more. They also have a really well-researched in-depth

blog that we recommend checking out if you're just looking to learn more about topics like metabolic health, longevity, and nutrition. We've learned a ton. Thank you levels for sponsoring today's episode and let's get back to it. I think I'm an easy on throttle here. One of Andrews flaws is a lack of order. I agree with that. Yeah. I'm just here for a good time, not a long time. You feel me?

What was that? It's funny. We had a marriage therapist once say this to us. We talked to her about a year ago. And we kind of went through this whole motion here of like speaking about, flaws and gripes inventing whatever beef we had on the table and we'd go one by one

and then she would kind of like move on and she'd be like okay tell me about each other what do you love about each other why did you marry each other why did you choose one another and we got through this whole session at the end she said it's really interesting and you see it a lot like she was saying herself she sees it a lot in couples who have been married

longer than a few years she said usually when you get married you marry the opposite person right it's like opposites attract and that's this honeymoon phase of what you love so much in your spouse is i'm so oCD and andrews have free spirited and i loved that about him i i like idolized that and i want more of that in myself but she said as you get within this rhythm of life you start to try to morph your spouse into who you are and you get very frustrated that oh i wish andrew would be more ocd i wish you would clean more

I wish he would do all these things. You said, isn't it interesting how what you married is now the one, like the issue of why you're like venting or counseling altogether? And it's just... The quality that you loved and were attracted by is now the quality that you're annoyed by. Yeah. And it was just a perspective change of like, wow. Instead of constantly trying to change your spouse, you need to, one, and I have talked about this, realize why you married them to begin. begin with and why you fell in love with them don't lose side of that and look more for compromise

than change of how can we better both suit each other with how we're changing in life and phasing in life rather than trying to say like oh i need andrew to no longer be free spirited i need him to be like me that's so difficult we're not there yet we're not we're not we're working on it it's so hard yeah it takes like a different perspective to get there yeah because like I know you want me to be more free-spirited, but you also, the reason why you married me when we were talking to this therapist

was like, you loved my intentionality and drive and perfectionism and like all of all of those qualities, which is interesting. As I'm sitting here thinking about it, it's interesting because I am super orderly in certain aspects and super lot in other aspects,

like financially, freaking orderly. You're more free-spirited than that. sense yeah with home like orderliness you're way more buckled down i'm like whatever with commitment with i'm more free-spirited and you're more with professional commitments with personal commitments you're locked in yeah professional commitments i'm locked in personal commitments i'm like how we could miss that sometimes do you disagree with that oh i disagree with that anyway it's interesting that like it is just like it's like kind of pick or choose

Right. And so this is where I think it's so important to have this generous perspective for your spouse. Mm-hmm. Like wear rose-colored glasses legitimately and realize that I'm around Sean every freaking moment of the day. Savvy's and freaking. And so I guess it's natural, it's natural instinct to only start seeing your flaws and totally overlook. Mm-hmm. the things that you contribute, right?

It's like, let me make the comparison to doing the dishes. Every time I load the dishwasher, I have the thought, I do the dishes every dang time. And it's so wrong. It's such a wrong thought. Because I do the dishes maybe, I don't know if I'd have to put a number to it 10 to 20% of the time. Yeah.

But it's just like, I just feel like I do it more than I actually do. And in that process of me whining about my issues, I completely disregard all the times you've done it and all the things you've helped with. Anyway, so do that with, like, what if you could do that with all of the things? Yeah. Of, you know what, Sean is loose on commitments,

but dang, I'm so glad that she has, you know, she missed that commitment because she was here to, like, take care of the house. I don't know. Like, that's how we should be looking at. We made the Instagram video the other day of, yeah sure i'll drive an hour to go see you when we're dating and when you're married it's like stay on your side of the bed and don't touch me why is that though i don't know like you're well isn't

something else that one of our therapists i talked about the whole roommate syndrome of like you can only spend so much time with each other before you all need a break and i'm not talking about a dramatic break in a relationship i'm saying like a break away from each other to be independent to be your own person. And especially after the pandemic, like, we all spent so much time together. And Andrew and I work together, live together, parent together, our spouses, all of these things. And we spend every waking second together. So every once in a while, we just need time away from each other to miss each other and to, like, miss the qualities that we love. Wait, I didn't get charged for my donut. It was free with this Tim's rewards points.

I think I just stole it. I'm a donut stealer. Earn points so fast, it'll seem too good to be true. Plus, join Tim's rewards today and get enough points for a free donut, drink, or timbits. With 800 points after registration, activation, and first purchase of a dollar or more. See the Tim's app for details at participating in restaurants in Canada for a limited time. It's like when years are so zoomed in, you see every flaw. Like, you know, 1080, 4K, I can see every pore in your face in the same.

Is that a flaw? But if I'm like back, I can, if I take a step back, I'm like, wow. You know what Sean really is beautiful? Also, as we talk about flaws. Are my poor flaws? I was just a zoom in analogy. Wait, I have a fun thing for us. Fun.

Keep it lighthearted. This is the lighthearted. This is how Sean starts. Legitimately, whatever, you're about to ask a challenging question that's going to set me up for failure. She'll be like, all right, you know, be having a great time. Okay, let's talk about what, couch we want to buy next argument go ahead maybe you should self-reflect that i was going to say 10 flaws lighthearted back and forth for me yeah just like go back

and more for myself no for me get them off our chest i honestly don't think i cannot think it five i can't i i named my three that's all you have go ahead unleash go for i'm thinking like La Croy. Is that a full? Okay. Sean puts trash in the sink, not the freaking trash can. That's one. You need a tally counter for a freaking.

Go ahead. Andrew doesn't put used paper towels in the trash can. He's at some on the counter. Sean over orders food every time. Sorry, like a statement. She over orders food sometimes. Andrew.

doesn't wear deodor. Sean will clean up my vanity mirror and hers will be an absolute tornado of a mess. Andrew will leave his shoes on top of the couch. Oh, Sean will like, she's like a tail cleaning up sometimes. I'll like open an Amazon box and like be pulling this thing item out.

And then you'll chuck the box around across. It's like she'll clean up the tools from the toolbox as I'm using. using them you're what i just i just laid those out for for a freaking reason no i'm not thinking you for that go ahead you're next you'll work out and get into a such a sweaty state and you you won't wipe your sweat but you'll let it drip on the counter and the couch and the table and like everything a sweaty state yeah shan'll just like interrupt my moments of focus which come rarely with like, look at this TikTok video.

And then I'll say no. And she'll be like, no, you have to look at it. It's hilarious. And I won't laugh at it. I'm just giving you moments of joy, okay? Andrew justifies every second on his phone as work. But if I'm on my phone, it's just unnecessary waste of time. Sean doesn't let me fall asleep

When she watches a movie So she No I don't want to watch a movie about myself Andrew will go like this He'll be like baby You want to watch a movie with me tonight I'll be like yes

Ten minutes in the movie He's asleep Is that a grape of yours A flaw of mine? Yeah Okay one more Sean asked for a backscratch every night And realizes that

I don't get anything in return I don't even mean it like that I don't even mean it like that I don't mean it like that I don't I don't mean it like that You know what I do? I ask.

Yeah. What do you want in return, Andrew? I don't. I don't. Go ahead. I love you. Are there any flaws that I see in you that you don't think are a flaw? Like the back scratch?

Yeah. That's not a flaw. You're right. It's not a bad. I agree with you. You don't get anything in return. I can think of. Two times that I have consciously made a decision that I knew Sean disagreed with.

And I said, I understand and I am not listening to you. I can really only think of one. I can only think of one. Anyway, that's interesting. And I think that's fortunate. If you thought there was a flaw in me that I was like it was a quality that I was proud of, that would be, that would cause a lot of friction. Yeah.

Anyway, challenge for you listening now that you've heard us go through this. We want to encourage you to have a conversation like this with your partner or spouse where you can be transparent and vulnerable with each other. I will add the caveat. What if you treated your partner like your best friend and you brought these things up not to just whine or gripe but because you wanted the best for them? that's a good way to view it. I realize Sean and I probably since having kids got so rude.

It was like, I'm being mean to Sean. I don't even like, I need to be nicer. So do that. And it's not like a gossip session. It's not just like a venting session. It is a strategic, thoughtful, hey, I've seen this over the past month. And I wanted to talk about it just to see what kind of compromise we can land. on. So I like the idea of challenging you as a listener to do that yourself because hopefully

you don't just listen to this for the entertainment of hearing Sean and I roast each other, but hopefully you're listening to it because you're in the same phase that we are. And hopefully this just starts a conversation that maybe you otherwise wouldn't have. So that's all we have for you. I enjoyed today. And it could have gone way worse. I feel like we're in a good place. Are we even giggled like that? I know. In a minute.

That was good. Truly love each other. It's all that matters. And we truly love each other? Truly love each other. Okay. Nice. And well, yeah, we truly love each other too, Andrew.

That was fun. That was fun. If you made it this far, please subscribe to the show. Give it a rating, whether that's a thumbs up on YouTube or a rating on whatever podcast. app you listen to. We appreciate it. It helps get our show out in front of new people. Yes. And that's all we have. I'm Andrew. I'm freaking Sean. And we're the East fan. Out.