Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew - 151 | why our marriage changed

Episode Date: February 22, 2023

There’s no doubt your relationship changes once you have kids, but I think we may have underestimated how much it changes! Most of the change is for the better but there’s definitely a learning curve! Let us know how your relationship changed after kids in the comments below- we’d love to hear from you :) Love you guys! Shawn and Andrew This episode is sponsored by Apollo Neuro ▶ You can save up to $50 by going to apolloneuro.com and using code couplethings50 This episode is sponsored by Better Help ▶ Visit BetterHelp.com/EASTFAM today to get 10% off your first month! Follow My Instagram ▶ http://www.instagram.com/ShawnJohnson Follow My Tik Tok ▶ https://www.tiktok.com/@shawnjohnson Like the Facebook page! ▶ http://www.facebook.com/ShawnJohnson Follow Andrew’s Instagram ▶ http://www.instagram.com/AndrewDEast Andrew’s Tik Tok ▶ https://www.tiktok.com/@andrewdeast?lang=en Like the Facebook page! ▶ http://www.facebook.com/AndrewDEast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up, everybody? Welcome back to a couple things. With Sean and Andrew. A podcast all about couples. And the things they go through. Today is one we've talked about for a while. I'm excited for this one. Yeah.

We've tried to cover the topics of kids in every angle, way, shape, and form. We recently did a podcast. About why people don't want to have kids. Yes. And now we're going to take it to a different angle. And this has actually been trending on TikTok. If you didn't know this. Really?

And Instagram. but it's like how kids change your marriage because I don't feel like anybody prepares you for this and for us I think we kind of talked about how one kid changed our marriage but we're going to talk about two specifically yeah because that's how many we have exactly um I'm excited about this I also want to approach it as we try to do with all things which is from like an optimistic standpoint honest but optimistic right there's kind of have two sides to every coin and I feel like we don't want to just sit up here and talk about I feel like people talk about how kids make marriages harder which is probably true but

let's try to be nuanced and accurate and precise with our language are you game for that yes sure was that weird I feel like this is targeted slightly but I don't know no no I'm just saying everyone's probably sitting here thinking they're just going to talk about how kids make marriage is harder oh yeah so let's just explore the whole topic and give it a fair evaluation yeah so to start what has been trending on tic-tok you ask did you know this ander no talk to me so there's been this like trend about how um it's like a gif and it's a gif of like a husband walking straight past or like a guy walking straight past a girl and she's like really really excited as she sees him coming but he like doesn't even see her and walk straight by her are you

picturing this yes and it's from a movie i don't know who it was but the the trend is people saying the reason why we didn't choose to have more kids okay and it was and then it goes to that gif and it's this whole idea of people have been openly talking about how difficult it can be on a marriage getting used to having kids be a part of your life. Yes. And that's true. For some who have been trending on TikTok, they're like, you know, we stopped at one kid,

we stopped at two kids, we stopped at three kids, whatever the number was, because it ended up taking a toll and we didn't want to, like, do it again for us. Yes. But I guess I'm feeling zazzed up today. I know. Because let me go on one right now.

Just because it's difficult, doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. Am I right? I think it's important to sometimes do the difficult thing. And let's just, you know, make the parallel to exercising or weight lifting. Why do you always go straight into analogies? I think they're important, okay?

I think it's a good way to communicate. You got to work on closing them. The weight that Sean's going to be able to do and push is going to be different than the weight that I'm going to be able to do and push. And if we're viewing our marriage, then the number of kids that we're going to be able to have and withstand is going to be different than them or kids, you're going to be able to have and withstand. So maybe your number is zero kids, which is fine. But us having

two kids or three kids or four kids, I think right now I'm optimistic that we are able to handle two kids. I'm optimistic that we're going to be able to handle three kids. And I think that the difficulty aspect of it, of like raising a marriage, has refined us. It's deepened my trust in you. It's enhanced my appreciation of you. I think it's matured both of us individually. As I look back from it in this chair, while we're not in the chaos of raising the two kids, it's been such a beautiful experience.

and the fruits of being parents together has been, I'm not kidding. You're on a rant. I'm not kidding. I feel passionate about this. I know, but you can't sit there and not, like, deny the fact that we haven't had so many conversations about potentially trying for a third kid and us literally having this conversation of, do you think it would be good for our marriage? Because.

I wanted to have that conversation. After the first kid and after the second kid, what nobody prepares you. you for and this is not a doomsday it's a reality thing and you get through it but yes it is very difficult on your marriage after you bring a kid into the world yes but doing the difficult yes no no I'm not saying put yourself in a bad situation but I'm saying if you're both like yeah we know it's going to be hard but you're seeing eye to eye and you're committed to like making it through all the arguments then it's a wonderful thing when you make it through the difficult thing together that that's a bonding experience it's unifying i'm not saying it's a bad thing

andrew you think i'm attacking that i think i'm just saying the reality of it is it's very difficult and it takes a while to get the groove of things and going into what this topic or this conversation is supposed to be out is like how did it change us it put attention on us at the beginning but i think the way it changed us is it forced us to work on our marriage so much more and even if that meant like more arguments at like in certain phases we both are firm believers that if we aren't close within our marriage it makes us not the best parents we can be yes and so if things are off between us we're like no bro we got to fix this right now because if we're not good then we're not good parents yeah i mean that's our mentality with everything now that you say it like that with business with parenting, with traveling. We always try to have these touch, and get on the same page before we make the next transition.

I also think another way, this is just a thought, we're getting way off of our scripts here. Another thing that's changed about us is we're more matter of, like, matter of fact. Like, it's not just like, oh, what are we going to do today? It's like, bro, we got this at eight, got this at nine, we have ten minutes to us, we have this at ten, we have, how are you?

Are you mad at me? Okay, yeah. like we're like very like let's do this yeah which is great we try to cut all the BS out are you saying we're more scheduled or we're just more direct and like intentional i think we're more direct i think there's less patience and less space for oh this will work itself out it's like no put it on the table let's figure it out now i don't have the capacity to hold on to this for longer than right now which i think has been a benefit agreed um i will say this our first kind of prompt here is what's it like having adjusted to our new roles in mom and dad.

I'll talk about my situation personally, but I will say it's different being married to a mom. For sure. To your point about directness, like, it's really cool. I didn't know Sean had such strong preferences about certain things, like kids diet, cleanness of the house, schedule of it. Like, honestly, it's really surfaced. a lot of these characteristics and things about you, qualities about you, because like

you're, I don't know, it's been a really interesting process where it's like, you weren't necessarily like that when we were dating and married. I will say reflectively, and I don't mean this in a dramatic way, but I was more of a pushover before a parent and not in a bad way, but I was just a little bit more like, okay, whatever. I'll do what you say. I'll do this, I'll do that. But then now that there's kids involved and I can directly see how different decisions, like, affect their life, it, like, changed in me to no longer take, no longer be a pushover.

I was like, no, we're done. All right. Flip switch. Switch flip. The question is, how was it for you to adjust being a mom or dad when we've never done it? it's overwhelming for sure and I think that's like that's where the tension in the marriage can be where it's like hey I feel guilty and weird and uncomfortable and uncertain and insecure because I'm been put in a million new situations every day I've never changed a diaper I don't know how to feed a baby I don't know how to burp a baby this thing this threw up on me you know worked whatever and it's like it's not comfortable at first but you grow through that that then you learn how to kind of communicate, I think for us more effectively,

at least with each other. So it's overwhelming, but I believe in you listening that you're able to, to, like, improve through that process. You are. I think I've done it. I mean, I've only been a dad for three and a half years,

and I think I've improved. You've improved so much. Have I improved? Yeah, you've done, yeah. I think adjusting to being a mom and dad is so hard. I personally feel like I went through this roller coaster of like I went from being whoever I was before kids

to being only a mom and having to kind of fight through that to kind of find my own identity again outside of being a mom but I think becoming a parent very quickly forces you to figure out who you are because kind of like Andrew was saying you're faced with all of these decisions you have have to make for these tiny humans and you very quickly are like oh shoot well what is my belief in this where do i stand when it comes to this topic and why and why am i agreeing or disagreeing

to this topic for my kid if i don't even know the answer to myself yeah so it it truly forces you just mature in a way of like self-discovery it's interesting yeah i think certainly not with everything because we would just get lost in a black hole. But the first topic that I thought of, as you mentioned that, is like when you're at the pediatricians. Oh, my gosh. And they're like, are we circumcising your baby that's going to be born this week or not? Yeah.

I know that's a weird thing to think of. But then it's like, well, are we going to do that? Like, we have to choose one way or another. What are our beliefs? And why are we choosing that? Exactly. And then you kind of, like, you dig in. And it's like, interesting.

Sean has stronger religious beliefs in this area than I thought she did. It's like, exactly, but it's kind of fun, you know? And like, there's so many different things. You go in beforehand thinking like, oh, I'm a holistic individual and I am kind of a casual religious goer. And I'm, but then you start making the decisions and you're like, whoa, I actually love American medicine and I am a Bible preacher, you know, it's like. Whatever it's a million different. These are examples. It's a million different things.

but it's also like, you know, well, the next question is, do we talk about expectations of being a mom and dad ahead of time? We're supposed to, this Saturday, have our kids dedicated to church. And I was thinking about, you know, religion and spirituality is oftentimes a point of friction with couples and raising kids where it's like, that was an adorable yon. I'm trying to fight it so bad. I don't know why. But it's like, hey, are we taking the kids to church or not?

Okay. What's church? okay are we going to go every week every month what's your expectation are we going to go twice a week whatever it is um did we talk about expectations of me as a dad and my expectations of you as a mom i don't think so that's that's where it's like you don't know what you don't know you don't know what you're getting into and that's the fun adventures part of it it's also the overwhelming i distinctly remember with drew trying to talk about it i don't know if you remember this but i remember trying to have the conversation with you of like who's going to do

diapers, who's going to, whatever it was. And kind of like Andrew just said, you have no idea how it's going to go down. So you're just kind of figuring it out as you go. But we did try more to like talk through expectations once Drew, our first was here. Because we were like, okay, let's talk through like schools. We've talked about like public or versus private.

all girls versus all boys or I mean so many different things but we've truly tried to go down lists as to like expectations wise but as far as like duties I think the only expectation conversation we had was and this is different for everyone based off of your careers your beliefs whatever but what are like percentage of contribution contribution was interesting because I remember going into it my expectation was like 50-50 I wanted to have two very hands-on parents I wanted our kids to have just as good of relationships with both of us and I that was my expectation how did we decide who does what you just mentioned next a couple of those I want to link down below you could check out either a list that we find online that we think is comprehensive and helpful or make one ourselves of all the things that you're confronted with and need to decide the breakdown and obviously it's like kind of a working list and we like to help each other out pick each other up when they're down cover for the other person when they can't do whatever but hopefully we can provide a list that at least starts the conversation and kind of starts the process of you and your partner are getting on the same page how would you answer that question now how did we decide who does what i think it's partially like just you're in the situation yeah like you're you're doing it's like

all right well hey i realize that i don't do well at 1 a.m cries so let me actually stay up later and be with the baby for that first time they're awake and then you can take the morning shift or it's like You know, I think it's just being aware, reflecting, and having conversations. Yeah, I would totally agree. It was, like, in the moment we were learning. Like, Andrew was the diaper changer. You rocked the diaper changes. But then I was always the, like, depending on the kid, I did the feedings.

Yeah. And, like, you'll have different strengths and weaknesses. Yeah. And it's not a bad thing. It's actually a great thing. It's called teamwork. Did you feel like a different person as a mom than you were a wife? Yes.

completely I there's so much baggage here that we could go into different topics or different podcasts but like I struggled with identity self-confidence image issues insecurities for so much of my life and it dissolved as a mom I became very confident in my beliefs in protecting my children and it like changed me as a human I feel like I can have conversations with you better i felt like i i just felt better in my skin i felt more confident in my role i just let's keep having babies i don't i didn't say that let's keep it going i've seen that in you have you do you feel like you've changed i i i feel like i'm a man in the making no no i feel like i'm becoming a man now i feel like i was very much a boy boy boy

kid back in the day but that's how it goes probably for everybody yeah um I will say it's been a really delightful treat to see you step into the role as a mom it's well baby it's been I think it's been really sweet and fun to see us evolve I love I think it's been so special for me to see where you started as a dad the day Drew was born and like the dad role you take on now I'm not saying it's like more what it's just like you've gotten more comfortable in your role as dad which is really cool you've also gotten more comfortable in my role as dad too which is another thing I don't know if this is on the outline or not but it's like I grew up with parents and brothers and we

rough housed a lot right that doesn't really come naturally to you no it does not and it's only child in a very controlled house there were growing pains where it's like I'm not like harming our kids when I say roughhouse it's like you know toss them on the couch gently or like tickle them pretty good so it's not doing harm to the kid I would encourage us to continue that process where it's like hey we each have different styles and maybe it makes you a little uncomfortable personally but like maybe it's good for the kid too and me doing stuff like that

is part of my role as to that so thank you for letting me do that I feel like all of that could be wildly misinterpreted I don't know rough housing comparing it to harming a kid if you're not harming them but

I'm saying tickling them if it's a stylistic difference and not like a dangerous difference you don't always need to be trying to parent each other parenting I've been doing this as long as as you have i'm just as much a veteran and i know just you know i'm about to be on one again

are you getting defensive um no no that's been something we've worked through with like hey this is just my style so let me i'm contributing i'm being a dad let me do my thing it has on to the next topic though is feeling less connected with each other this comes in waves i think um i will never forget there was like a small mourning period with both babies. I remember being, like driving to the hospital as we were going into labor with Drew. And I felt this wave of just fear and mourning and sadness for a little bit of will I lose my husband through this. And I don't mean like divorce or like whatever. but just that relationship that you and I knew we were best friends and separable best friends

I didn't know how that looked with another human being I didn't know what it would look like to have a kid sharing us and have our love now split not just between us two but between us three and that really scared me and I remember having and Nash and Nash the dog okay and I remember that really scaring me with Jett when we went to give birth to Jett was mourning this idea of what family looked like and how it was going to take away time from Drew and take even more time away from me and Andrew so I think that like less connected it's very normal but I think you also learn that within the short periods of time that you do get together it's more intentional yeah we've kind of alluded to it but there are there I think there's more decisions to be made

and the list of chores expands when you have a kid. And so those are all opportunities for connection and interaction. But there are also opportunities for resentment. So, like, I think we've fortunately, like the scales have been weighed in. We've had more opportunities and made more opportunities to connect than resent. But it's like, you're pretty open with me and, like, airing. Hey, I think you're roughhousing the kids too much. You're not keeping that to yourself and resigning me over it.

So it's like, but it's all those things that can make you feel more connected or less, right? Mm-hmm. That's just a really fine balance. Two questions for you. Because I feel like we've had conversations on these. Did you ever feel like you were ever like losing sight of the other person or like drowning in your new role? I remember having a conversation about this. I never felt like I was in over my head.

I think I felt like, it was like, I want to help. And that was where I was, like, drowning because, like, I don't know how to help you and I want to. And, like, I see your stress and there's all this stuff. And I can't help you breastfeed and, you know, you need to be, like, so it's a little tough to figure out how to work that out. I remember feeling like we had a conversation over this. It was one of those like breakdowns where I was crying and I was like I just feel like I felt like I was lost myself as wife but felt good as mom. Does that make sense? Yeah.

So there was this phase that we were going there. I don't remember if that was Drew or Jet, but you were doing such an amazing job at like helping and uplifting and comforting. And you're, you kept saying over and over again, you know, you're such a good mom. You're doing such a good job. You're doing all this. And I remember sitting down one day and being like, I don't know how to say this without feeling like I'm insensitive or like ungrateful because you've been the most wonderful partner and spouse. But I feel like you no longer see me as your wife and only see me as mom. And that makes for a hard dynamic between husband and wife.

Yeah. And so the second question was. was did we have to start dating again, quote unquote, you know, once everything kind of calmed down. And I really think we do. We did. Yeah. And it's like, you know, when you're so exhausted with raising the kids and trying to figure this all out, like how do you have the energy to date or connect still?

And I think this is where the beauty of routine and like having quote unquote rituals, like really stands out where it's like, all right, every Thursday we're doing date night and we might not talk at dinner we might have a fantastic discussion we might be angry with each other but like we're going to show up we're going to do that routine or every night after the kids go down we're going to have what we call Bev time but we debrief the day and it might take five minutes it might take an hour but we're going to do that and like just having the routine where it's like this is the expectation that we're going to have to um carve out time until to be with each other. I even saw something this, it was posted T.E.A.M. Like, these parents do it. They have kids. It's like, after the kids go down, we try to do, we try to touch each other. We try to go over the minute, like the day minutes, like meeting minutes, where it's like one of the significant things that happened, you know, debrief. And they have like four things, four categories that they all go through. I was like, that's a pretty good routine. Like,

that can really be helpful. So that's my take. How did kids change our marriage when it came to the lack of sleep? We did a lot of episodes on this starting out. Can you believe

the first three months this podcast were our first three months being parents? Oh, I do remember that. Those early episodes. I'm terrified to go back. I don't want to listen to them. Also, we don't didn't have the outlines that we do now, the cameras, would wing it. Oh man. Anyway.

The lack of sleep, I think, is the hardest part. And I think that's the main contributor to everything we're talking about. Because one, you're not getting as much sleep. You're getting interrupted sleep. So you're already just like not operating at 100%. So you might be grumpy or irritable or just fatigued or whatever. Your hormones. are off because of that and then on top of that instead of we've talked about this lot instead of like sharing a bed every night you're sharing it with like you're splitting time between like a kid's room or like everything's just interrupted so it's not it just makes everything a little bit harder I for one don't necessarily thrive with lack of sleep I remember driving down the road the first couple months after we had Drew and like literally my eyes were closing themselves and my whole my arms and hands were just like shaking and I was like this is actually physically dangerous for me to be driving yeah it's dangerous so I made it home and then didn't drive for the rest of the day but physically things do happen so

I think again taking it back to awareness like not lashing out your emotions and making it seem like it's your partner's fault. But it's like, I just want you to know I'm a little irritable today because I didn't sleep well. And then that like, now I know how to navigate you a little bit better after that awareness, you know. It's hard. The lack of sleep is hard.

We both don't thrive off of, thrive without a full night's sleep. It for sure leads to more arguments and bickering. I think the quality of our conversation. our general outlook on the day. We cannot make a decision. We're really asked questions when we're like that tired. I feel like it always ends up in an argument where it's like, man, we are just tough. All of our arguments are caused by two things.

We're either hungry or tired. So when you throw in just perpetual fatigue, it makes it a little more difficult. But did you ever resent me? Because you had to wake up in certain times where I didn't. I never resented you. I was mad at you. I think the hard part is like, for me, is we're both doing this for the first time. We're both trying to figure it out.

And when you bring home a newborn and they're a month old, you don't expect them to sleep. But when they're a year and a half, and you're waking up in the middle of the night four times because you're one and a half year old is screaming and your partner sleeping or you're alternating. it just gets frustrating because you feel defeated you're like i don't know how to figure this out and it's almost like you just desperately in your fatigued state want someone to emotionally support you but it's also not fair to the other person because you should be taking shifts and trying to let someone sleep and trade off you know it's like a desperate moment where you're just like help me you know yeah you want to talk about naked time

sure I was this is interesting just thinking about it like sex used to be like this taboo like sexy thing it's still no it still is but it's way more about like actually loving you to your point about being intentional like more direct where it's like it's not it's so different and I think it's way better yeah you know what I'm saying it's like not this uh it's not as mystical but it's more important and I think it's like well you have to pretty much we don't necessarily put intimate time on our schedule no but it's like you're kind of saying like you're we're communicating hey maybe tonight yeah exactly like which we never did well you kind of have to because again throwing in all the different aspects here you have two kids we have 20 people

in and out of our house every day. We're exhausted. So unless you give someone a signal of some kind, default's going to be sleep. We're going to sleep. And you like, we've talked about that. If someone has the expectation of getting lucky that night and the other person's just too tired to pick up on your signals,

then that feels crappy for both people. So you need to like communicate well enough. I will say the way that kids, changed it the most for us and everybody is different but I don't know why I'm saying this the only thing that changed drastically for us is during pregnancy it's just not my thing after pregnancy good to go never told me this you know this you never explicitly told me this I am just so uncomfortable I get that I can make it three months four months and then it's dry season i am well aware

um so that's the only really challenging part i i do feel like we were pretty good communicating through that where it's like well there's always guilt or frustration where it's like hey well I try to make a move and you weren't having it like that causes guilt on the other party side it causes frustration on one side it's like there's so many things that can be packaged with this so again it's an event that can cause connection or resentment so like I would say push towards connection like have these tender fragile conversations and get to know each other Because, yeah, you've never been pregnant before, so you don't know what your libido is going to be like in that scenario.

That's not something you can prepare for. You've got to talk through it. So a strengthened marriage in the end. Did having kids ultimately bring us closer together as a couple? What would your answer be? Yes. I've grown to appreciate you more. We've, I think, like, become more of a team, a strong team,

which had been really fun we've understood my preference your preference what together our mission statement it's like dude there's so many cool things that have happened because we had kids it's like what do we want our family life to look like well now we have a mission statement core values fit like it's great yes closer i would agree i feel like we're a lot closer um i don't feel like life is as fancy free as it was before kids where it was just like we were selfish we were bouncing around doing whatever we wanted there's definitely more responsibility that comes with life now with kids but i appreciate things so much more after becoming a parent i appreciate andrew i appreciate the kids small moments big moments what did you just tell me this morning

something about me as a dad remember there's a really nice compliment I feel like seeing as a dad has made me appreciate you me. Oh, what I said last night? Yeah. I had said, I don't think... How do I say it? I appreciate the comment. I should try to remember next time.

I remember talking last night about this idea that in my personal case, I, if it weren't for our kids, I don't think I would be capable of. of appreciating you as much as I do. And I don't mean that in like a negative way. I mean, in the most positive way. I'm glad we have kids. And that's not to say that you need kids to have this appreciation. No.

It's not like a must, but it's helped us. But I think that's for me. I think before kids, I overanalyzed every decision I ever made in life. And with kids now, I've just learned to appreciate them all. I feel like my love for you has definitely grown through the hard times of parenting. I think about the concept that joy and pain go hand in hand and like difficulty and triumph

go hand and and challenges and unification. Hand in hand. It's like you can't really have one without the other. You got to make it through the hard times, which often come first before the triumph. But, man. I also think the appreciation. It says, like, are you thankful for going through the thick of it? Because it brought us closer together.

I will never forget things just switch the instant you become a parent. Walking into the hospital with Drew, in labor, like, Andrew and I, up until that specific moment, we're still just these, like, young kids. We still had this, like, a phrase. to fart in front of each other type you know like little giddiness and then all of a sudden you go into a hospital and you're stripping down naked and all things are happening to you and all of a sudden you bring a kid into the world and it's like wow we just grew closer than we ever have in our entire life but like in the most appreciative way and I feel like going through the

thick of it with every little thing with kids whether it's them being sick or pediatricians or scares or milestones whatever it is that causes arguments or tough times or good times it just brings you closer you're so much closer and bonded it's wild it's good stuff man i am i'm thankful so let's see here do we have any advice for people who might be going through a hard time one of the things i'm his mind is like i think uh keeping the main thing the main thing the main thing it's like what's the priority all right well marriage maintaining that and the benefit of our kids like the well-being of our kids it's important so stylistic things let it go or I mean you're gonna need to make more room for forgiveness than you've ever made or more room for grace like you're gonna

there's gonna be disagreements there's gonna be things you say wrong because you didn't sleep at all. There's going to be, we've had plenty of those. And it's like, yeah, it's kind of a complicating thing. People say, like, man, it was the best time of my life. I don't know if I'd want to go back. It's kind of like our athletic career. It's like the college football scene was awesome.

But the 4 a.m. workouts, like, I would never want to do that again. I'm so glad I went through it. You learn through it. You grow through it. Have that perspective. Sean and I, when we get in arguments, like we remind each other, hey we know how this argument ends and that's with us still married so with you keep the main thing the main thing like you know how this story ends and that's with uh with you having a really

wonderful family life and like kids that love you and you know you get a play ball with in the backyard that's how the story's gonna gonna be so just get there as i perpetually yawn to this podcast to show that our kids are not sleeping great at the moment right um kids are amazing And if you decide to go that route, down that route or not, I wouldn't change it for the world. It's made me a better wife. It's made me a better mom every day. I've had to continually ask for forgiveness and grace every single day. It's made me want to be a better person.

Those little tiny humans really just challenge you. I think they make it all better. The difference between one and two kids, I feel like, or maybe two and three kids, I guess we'll soon find out. I think all those things we just talked about get amplified and enhanced. I'm expecting.

That was my experience from one to two. It's like, yet to be more direct, less and mature, more intentional. So let the journey continue. There's a lot of good ways to do life and having kids is certainly, one of them. So I think that's all we have. Yeah. We'd love to hear how having kids has changed your

marriage if you have kids. How many do you have? Let us know what you've learned. Share your advice with us. That's what we try to do is have each one of these topics, episodes, videos we make, just be a conversation starter. So I hope that that's the case for you. There is a learning curve, but you can do it. We have faith in you. So we have. I'm Andrew. I'm Sean. With the East fam, out.