Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew - 152 | how to ask for what you need in a relationship

Episode Date: March 2, 2023

Today we interviewed Khadeen & Devale Ellis! We spoke about the importance of communicating what you need out of your partner in your relationship, maintaining a good family balance, and prioritizing marriage. We hope you enjoy this interview and let us know below if you have any tips for our community! Check out their current projects here including their book, tour, and podcast! ▶ https://linktr.ee/TheEllisesNetwork Khadeen's Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/khadeeniam/?hl=en Davale's Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/iamdevale/?hl=en Love, Shawn and Andrew Follow My Instagram ▶ http://www.instagram.com/ShawnJohnson Follow My Tik Tok ▶ https://www.tiktok.com/@shawnjohnson Like the Facebook page! ▶ http://www.facebook.com/ShawnJohnson Follow Andrew’s Instagram ▶ http://www.instagram.com/AndrewDEast Andrew’s Tik Tok ▶ https://www.tiktok.com/@andrewdeast?lang=en Like the Facebook page! ▶ http://www.facebook.com/AndrewDEast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you're with Amex Platinum, you get access to exclusive dining experiences and an annual travel credit. So the best tapas in town might be in a new town altogether. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Terms and conditions apply. Learn more at Amex.ca. dot c a slash ymx what's up everybody welcome back to a couple things with sean and

andrew podcast all about couples and the things they go through is a fun one that's right i feel like i feel like we're kind of very similar couples we are deval and cadine ellis yes just came out with a book by the way it's called we over me but deval played in the NFL better athlete than i was safe to say had a better career than I did but they now are full-time YouTubers yes they create content they're hilarious they create content about their family about their relationship they have a podcast kind of on relationships they have gone through a lot of the same stuff dealt with a lot of the same issues but I do feel like there are a couple years ahead of us

with some wisdom that we really loved being able to take away also their delivery is different than ours as well which leads to a lot of laughs in this episode just get ready It's fantastic. Anything we wouldn't say they will for us, which is great. Yeah, it is great. We'll link their podcasts as well as their book down below and their social handles. Congratulations on the book release, DeVal and Kadeen. And I would like to interview them again.

Me too. This was fun. We hope you enjoy it. Without further ado, DeVal and Cadeen Ellis. DeVal, Kedin, it's a pleasure to be talking to you. You're staying busy. you got the book released was it this week no no no it releases um february 7th i was watching your your uh intro trailer on your youtube channel hilarious

it was hilarious you have me with the with the with the stand-up comment the book always stands out oh yeah yeah yeah it always stands up so it always stands up so yeah so you got the book, you're doing a podcast tour and simultaneously filming shows, filming for YouTube, and raising four boys. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Four boys. That's actually at the top of the list because that's typically where, you know, of course,

you know, trying to juggle everything. That's where the number one priority is like making sure that we're raising recent human beings at the end of the day. But usually whenever we're traveling and we're moving around and, you know, the kids aren't in tow with us. it's always letting them know and reminding them that, you know, we're doing all of this stuff to build something for you guys. Like, it's all ultimately about you guys and the legacy that we're trying to lead for these kids.

So, yeah, we're doing a lot of things, y'all. I'm just curious how you do four boys. We had our first boy. He's the one-year-old, and he is wild. Boys are different. Yes, they are. So four of them. How do you keep them alive?

Brough. A lot of discipline. We hope. Yeah, the fact is we had a five-year gap in between the first and the second for that reason. Like, we were trying to figure it all out. But then when we got it, we had the second one. And then the doctor lied to us and told us that we wouldn't get pregnant if she was ovula, if she was breastfeeding. Yeah.

So I was shooting the club up. The chances are slimmer. There is still a chance. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, there's a chance. There is a chance.

That's because we got back to back. We had two under two. We should have named him chance now that I think about it. Are you sure so it was taking a chance? Yeah, that would have been. Chance Ellis? No. Oh, man.

That's Cass, though, our third. Caz is our third. And then another four years later, we had Dakota. Yeah. I think we just kind of at this point, like our oldest, I don't know how it was for your first, but our first is like the truest leader. Like he is a nurturer. He's super responsible.

He's like the biggest empath. He's like, he's so good. So it's almost as if like he's a. already started that trend of like the oldest will take care of everyone else so we just kind of like hope that everyone's alive at the end of the day if they're making noise it's good if they're quiet then it's a problem yes so you guys have been together 20 years married 20 years together 20 years married 12 amazing so you guys have been through so many different career changes together oh yeah yeah what well first how did you guys meet

I've been a lot of figuring it out over the years. So we went to the same elementary school. We'll start there. I remember him like second, third grade, like type vibes, right? I remember seeing him and being like, oh, you know, he's cute. But at that age, no one's really like, you know, getting together. She was clocking me from young. I was a young guy.

But I did always know, like, well, he was a looking kid, you know? He ended up leaving that school because we attended the same school. His sister and my sister still went to that school because he was one of those schools that went from, like, kindergarten to eighth grade. So the pipeline of children just kept going through the system. And I would see him sometimes in the summer. It's literally like our paths kept crossing our entire lives until finally. We went to rival high schools. I was a football player.

She was a cheerleader. We worked her school's ass. It was a lot. No, no. He was star football. I did read this on your Wikipedia page. Sorry to cut in here. But it said, in your high school career, you quote, lit up the public school athletic league.

Yes. Lid it up. Lid it up. My senior year, the point thing is I only played football my junior and senior year because I was a basketball player. And I didn't play football until my junior year. And then once I figured it out, it was a wrap. My senior year, I had 26 catches for 831 yards and 15 touchdown.

Yeah. Like, who's counting? Yeah. Yeah. It's not like I keep the stats. I don't. I'm estimating, you know, it's somewhere around there. The best is when the kids look at him up now, and they're like, yo, Daddy was a beast, yo.

But I was a beast, but I wasn't old to Rebecca Jr. Like, my kids will remind me that I'm not OBJ every chance they get. Like, it's just, that's what it is. They were good, but not that good. Yeah, kids are going to do that to you. For sure. So I graduated college, so I was always a year older than him in schooling. So when I graduated college, the same school that we met at when we were kids was having a scholarship banquet.

it. They usually have one every year. So that particular year, I had just won a national pageant, and they asked me to come back to kind of help co-host the event. So when I looked at the list of honorees, I saw his name on there. And I was like, shoot, like, I'm actually going to get a chance so I possibly see him because we always, again, just saw each other in passing. It was never a chance for me to really connect with him. So I put out all, I pulled out all the staff. Stop, stop. She's trying, yo, she's leaving out some very important information. What? I used to work at Hagendaz.

She used to go to the mall, walk by Hagen-Daz to see me, but never say anything. I did. I was, like, admiring from afar, and then so many times I'd be there with my friend or my cousin, it would be like, just go buy ice cream. Just, like, go buy ice cream, and it would just break the ice. And I'm like, no. So finally, one day I had the gut to do it, and I got all cute, like, you know, one of those outfits that was definitely an Instagramable moment.

If there was Instagram back in the day, here done, every day. everything. It's literally 2001. And I get all dulled up to go to the mall to see him thinking for sure he was going to work. And he was off that day. Wow. Damn. Bummer. But I knew he was going to be at the scholarship banquet. So I pulled out all the stops. I told my mom, I was like, listen, I need to wear a really nice dress. I have to make sure my hair is done. My makeup is and she's just like, all right, yeah, whatever, pageant girl. Little did she know that I was really about to shoot my shot with this one over here. So I met the banquet. Him and his brother were in the distance.

If there was like a song playing in my head at the time, I don't even know what would have been playing, but it would have been some real, like, girl from Ipanema as I, like, walked over to him. I was singing like that saxophone. But we're, wow, wow, wow. Yeah, that's it. Yeah.

Like, that's in my head. What was playing is, like, floating on over there. And I went over to him, and I'm like, did that one, Brian Ellis? And they were like, yeah. And then that sparked the conversation. And by the end of the night, I had to bag him because he, didn't ask for my phone number as we were at the valet station about to leave i was like we did not just put it off all night and you're not going to ask him for my phone number bro so i took his

program booklet out of his hand i wrote my name or phone number and i was like you should really use that so can i have any point in here to tell my perspective you're the stories so she walks up she says the val and brian ellis and my first instant was like damn she was in she wrote good she I was like, oh, I was like, how does she know my name, right? But I was like, Val, be cool. You know, I'm 18. Testosterone is through the roof. You know, I'm still trying to be cool.

But I'm nervous, though, because she's a beauty queen, literally. Like, she has on a satch and a freaking crown. So I'm nervous. I'm not going to lie. I'm nervous. So I'm like, yeah, that's my name. So it's your name, dude. That's what my voice sounded like.

I'm pretty sure it didn't sound nothing like that at all. Definitely. So that she said her name was Kadeen. We spent the whole time talking. It was a banquet. No 18-year-old kid wants to be at a banquet. So I was following her everywhere she went just to see, you know, what's up? So my uncle Kevin, shout to him Uncle Kevin.

He always had mad chicks his whole life. And he used to get, sorry, on Chadi, but it's the truth. Sorry, sorry. But before they got married, Uncle Kevin was a gallis. Like, he always had girls. Gallus is a Jamaican term for, you know, he was in these streets. She was in the streets. He would be told him.

Yes. Thank you. Yes. That's what explained that. Yes. So I always looked at him as far as how I was going to approach women. And he always explained to me like, yo, you can't just rush into it and be all in their face. You got to let them kind of think that they're not going to get it.

Before I could even let her think that she wasn't going to get the number as, she grabbed my program and was like, in her Brooklyn way, fish, you ain't going to ask me for my number. I guess I'm going to put it in your book. I was like, well, like, damn, like, you ain't even let me do that. My pageant girl Midwest vernacular and tone went out the window. And I was just like, so you're not going to ask me for my home number? Like, she put it in there and then proceeded to curb me for the whole summer. It wasn't curbing.

I was super busy that summer because I was doing a lot of traveling. I had just won that pageant title. So I was doing a lot of community service work. I was literally, like, traveling a lot. So as much as I wanted to hang with him. you know, it did an opportunity and didn't present itself until I had a charity event at Hofstra

University that he was attending and I was like, oh shit, when my page director called and said Hofstra, I was like, this is going to be my moment to like rekindle. Uh-huh. Like Li-Bol moment again. Uh-huh.

And it was at the Light the Night Walk, October 3rd, 2002, we'll never forget the thing. That's when after the charity event, we linked up. And he bagged me. in this sense because it kind of sealed the deal. And in our book, we talk about it.

I think it's called like over a hero, a bag of chips and a pickle or something like that. Because we went to get our meal. I went to Hofstra. For that day. Hofstra's not a big time football school. But you lit it up. I lit up Hobscher, too. 400 receptions, you know, 2,000 yards, 21 touchdowns.

But who's counting? Who's counted? No. Yeah. She comes. She comes. And I'm like, how can I impress this girl? So I had a black

1989 Nissan Maximum and this was in 2002 so it was an old ass car But I had Black woman I had the 18-inch Subwolf in the back

So I was blasting my music So I'd pull up Roll the window down So in my mind I'm pretty sure it didn't sound like that But then she got in the car She had on these 10 like pans She was just looking great.

Oh, you remember my baby? Yeah, tan pants got on a black shirt. Her hair was... This is the first time I've seen her. Her hair was up in a bun at the banker. Yes. When she came, her hair was all the way down to her lower back. I was like, oh, my God.

So I had to change the look up on him. Yeah. So I had to get the stamp of approval from my teammates. All the freshmen at Hofshire the same time I was there, it was Bo, Reef, Pitt, and... They don't know these people. Oh, they don't know. I don't know, Bo Reef and Kip, but they sound like those guys. So I walk her through the calf, right?

And I walk her first, and I'm just like, go ahead, they're glad to go out of the seat, right? And as she's walking, that's what my voice sound like in my head. As she's walking in front of me, I'm behind her looking at my boys, like, and they're all like, they're doing, like, gyrations and I'm like, I'm like, and if she looked behind me, I'm like, This is when I sealed. This is when I knew I was, I was bawling. I say, yo, you go to the cab, you get whatever you know.

I had meal points, baby. I had meal points. I was like, maybe, whatever you like, just go throw it in the bag. Just throwing in the bag. This is before the nobu days, okay? It was the meal card, for sure. And we got a hero at the calf and went back to his room, sat on his bed. I devoured that sandwich.

Yo, Andrew, let me tell you something. Talk to me. This beauty queen sat on my bed, right? She sat on my bed and she was like, she said, you want me? You know, you don't mind if I eat on your bed, you don't mind? And I was like, sure, you can eat on my bed. She said, okay, I thought that she was going to like, like, break off her sandwich and we bite, like, you know, she was like, okay.

I was like, I was like, have they feed you, have they fed you, and all, like, oh, yeah, baneage, one and nine, and she was like, so, you said, you're saying, you, you're going to order. You play football? Wow. I was in love at that point I was in love. And clearly I was so comfortable because I felt like, man, I'm just linking up with an old friend. You know what I mean?

Like, not really thinking much of it, knowing the course that I really liked him. But that just sealed a deal. That was the day that sealed the deal for us. And we've spoken every day since October 3rd, 2002. Every day. Every day. Even when we're mad at each other, we still talking. every day. All right, so you have

this podcast, dead ass. Do the YouTube channel. This episode is brought to you by Defender. With its 626 horsepower twin turbo V8 engine, the Defender Octa is taking on the Dakar rally. The

ultimate off-road challenge. Learn more at landrover. dot ca. Oh yeah, you get the merch right there. That's the merch. Your book you reference earlier we over me you are clearly big proponents and fans of of marriage tell me why yes well i am being an athlete a former NFL player which was probably one of the most

stressful things i've ever done in my life i never felt alone you know from the time i was 18 when Kay and I decided that we were going to try to do life together, even at 18. We always made a plan with each other. Like, her dreams became my dreams. My dreams became her dreams. She said she wanted to be in entertainment television. She wanted to be a makeup artist. We always made a plan to do it together.

And it's easier in life to have a lifeline when you're stepping out to do something that no one else has really done, right? If you go into the NFL, only 1% of people get a chance to play in the NFL. Only 1% of people get a chance to go actually do TV. And we were both trying to do something that only 1% of the population can get paid and do. And I always felt comfortable knowing that regardless, if I fail, if I stumbled, if I didn't make it, if I had to pivot, I had somebody here to do it with. And for me, it just made life so much easier because you hear so much about mental health these days and people feel alone. Depression is at an all-time high, especially after the pandemic.

A lot of people were isolated and insulated, and I felt like I feel like having a partner here to do life with just gives you an opportunity to see the world from a different perspective because you have another set of eyes. Yeah, that's totally. For me, I think I was just always that person that knew if I didn't meet DeVal when I met him, I probably would have been like a serial monogamous, right? Because I'm the kind of person that always, since I was a kid, just envisioned my wedding. day. I envisioned what my husband would look like. I envisioned like so many things about having a life with someone where some people just don't feel that way. There are some women that are like,

yo, I never want to be married. Or some men, it's like, I never want to be married. I never want to have children. And kudos to people who know that early on, but they save people out of the misery by just not even embarking on that, right? But with marriage for me, even though I come from a two-parent household where my parents were married still are without parents still married. A lot of the examples I saw around me were married couples. Were they necessarily the happiest married couples? No. Not per se, but there was always that camaraderie and that togetherness

and that unity that I always witnessed and I always crave that. So for me, I'm a proponent of marriage with this man. I may not be a proponent of marriage for everyone. Oh, but with this fire, don't much my eyeliner. My wing is taking flight, baby. Vow. Thank you. He helps you put my eyelashes on.

Like, that's marriage, y'all. Like, that's marriage. I do put lashes on. I'm good at you, too. He does. But for me, it's just really about finding the right person. He's my best friend. And we never put the D word out there divorce like that.

But if for whatever reason, Devout and I were never together for whatever reason, he would still be my best friend. Like, it's just, it's almost like a... You're not going to tell them how you told me that the divorce is your opportunity? I'll tell him, to those devout. If you ever think about divorce... I'll kill you. You're not going nowhere.

I'm like, okay. But at some points, I've always wondered, like, is this codependency that we have even healthy, right? It's like, man, we've been together literally since we were 18 years old. And our moms used to always say, guys, we need to be individuals to see what you like outside of each other and things like that. But I think the beauty in our marriage is that we've been able to give each other the latitude and the grace to grow and change and support each other to live. And we were the ones fortunate enough to make it out to this side, 20 years later, still being able to feel the togetherness that we felt at 18, even though we've had so many changes occur. I love everything you just said. Oh, my gosh.

I feel like we are very similar in many ways because we do the same thing. Like, we'd kill each other if we ever left each other. It's not an option. It's not on the table. But I'm curious, though, one of the reasons why we started our podcast was I got so fed up with the world. painting pictures of relationships. Like, unless they're perfect, you have to leave. And that's not true.

That's not marriage. Marriage is really, really freaking hard. And I can only imagine, you guys have said in your book, too, that you've had the rocky road. You've gone up and down with financial struggles and, like, going through career changes. How in your marriage did you get through them, get through those, like, horrible and, like, hard times and still have a strong marriage at the end of it? Man, this, we, man, I'm, Sean, I'm going to tell you, it sounds like the most cliche thing to say, right? But constant communication. We talk about everything.

And part of the reason why our podcast is called dead ass is because we keep it dead ass. That's a colloquial term, news by New Yorkers, which means real honest and in real time. So that's what dead ass is. We talked about things in our podcast that people shamed us for on Twitter. And what made them even more upset is that we weren't ashamed that they were shaming us because we honestly don't give a fun. Remember what you said, Sean, about getting tired of watching the world talk about marriage as this esoteric, perfect option that the only way you can stay married to somebody you love is if everything is perfect. We were like, no, we had issues with intimacy, we had issues with finances, we had issues with family, we had issues with where we were going to live, we had issues with career choices. But we sat down and said to each other, I don't like the way this may be feels.

Do you want to help me get through this or do you want to go separate ways? And when you say that to this generation, they're just like, oh, my God, why is he being so abrupt and in her face? I'm just telling you how I feel. And she has the same latitude to come at me the same way. She's like, yo, DeVal, I don't like the way you did that made me feel. I don't like that. How are we going to handle this moving forward?

And being able to speak to my best friend, because let's be honest, I know both of y'all got best friends, right? Your best friend got a bug in their nose, you tell them, your best friend, breath stink, you tell them. They do something, y'all might even fight, but y'all, that's my best friend. But when it comes to your significant other, it's like, no, you're not supposed to have those interactions. And if you do, it's toxic and you run. No, we're humans, we can talk about everything. We talk about everything. And that's the only way we got through.

For sure, Simon. And you know what the beauty is and talking about everything, and we literally mean like everything, there's a choice that you give your spouse, right? And Deval and I make a choice every day when we wake up to be here and to be together, regardless of what's going on. So when I feel like my choice is taken away from me, then it becomes a problem, right? And the only way that we can even be on the level playing field to say, you know what, I know I'm in the space where I can decide to be here authentically and show up for you organically like I want to is if. we talk about it. So literally that's been our saving grace and we have kind of thrown away the notion that the patriarchy and society has set up for us to this is what a marriage should look like. The fastest way to fail at marriage is to try to tailor-making your marriage to somebody else's or some other things. So we've learned that kind of early on and we were struggling through it for years and I think we finally hit a sweet spot around. That's a true. That's a good thing to that's a good thing that's a good thing

point out is that the first five years of our marriage, even though we were together eight years before that, was extremely rocky. And it was rocky because we had put standards on the other person according to what we saw before us, not necessarily what we wanted, right? So at the time I was in the NFL, I was like, well, everybody else's wife stays at home. Everybody else's wife cooks and cleans. Everybody else's wife does this. So that's what you got to do, Kay, because I'm in the NFL, that's what you got to do. And she hated it. She didn't want to be at home. She wanted to be on television. She wanted to have her own businesses. She wanted to make her own money. And it got to a point when I realized, like, I don't want her to be at home. I hated the fact that she was at home.

And then when I got home, she'd be like, okay, so tell me about your day. And I'd be like, you don't have anything to bring to the table. And she's like, well, I was home all day. So no, I don't. And that's when I realized, like, I don't really want what everyone else is telling me I should have. How about I just go get what I want? And we both started to do that. And it took five years of marriage to figure that out like not five weeks you know we didn't go to a counseling session one time we talked about it where we fucked it up a lot like we just made mistakes and decided like you know what my bad I shouldn't have said that okay let me let me try this again and she gave me grace I gave her grace we both made selfish decisions early on in our marriage

and we learned how to adapt to it and finally figured out a point that being of service to each other was the best way for us to stay happy and still hang out. It's so cool. I feel like, you know, we're all on the YouTube scene and there's no shortage of like entrepreneurship gurus or like, you know, finance bros where they're like, if you just wake up at 4 a.m., you jump in the cold bath and you do intermittent fasting, like that's how you achieve self-actualization or wherever the thing is. And I'm like, I'm like, no, honestly, I feel like marriage is the best refining tool for me like if if i'm trying to make the best andrew possible i need to be the best husband possible because marriage bro it's like football it's like i know you used to return

punts it's like you got to get some reps in and then over like over the course of failing a lot of times you finally figure it out we're like oh i need to it's it's really my fault i need to do this and and that will make the the problem better or that let me let me tell you though you literally just sounded exactly like how I talked. Accountability for me is really what made me a better husband but also made me just a better person. You know, like playing football,

the eye in the sky, don't lie. This is the eye in the sky. You feel out to me like, you know you said this, you know you did this, and I'll be like, then I got to be accountable. I agree with you, yo, failing over and over again and having someone told you accountable just reminds you because even though you

fail and the fact that they're still there is that impetus to keep trying to be better, you know, so that's why marriage made me a better man. I'm not even, and that doesn't work for everybody. There's plenty of single men out there who are billionaires. So it doesn't work for everybody, but my personality, yours, Drew, I can tell it just works for us, you know. Yeah, and I had problems with the accountability part. So this whole, like, you know, the correlation that he makes the football all the time with, like, why he is the way he is and why he's so structured and so disciplined and why he can easily take criticism and critique. That was not easy for me.

So I come from a household where I try to be like demodeled child. I was the oldest of three. You know, my parents are West Indian. So typically West Indian parents are very strict growing up. And I just never, I had a fear of doing things wrong. I always had a fear of speaking up for myself because I just rather be quiet, not ruffle any feathers. And then when we first got, you know, together.

That was you, Sean? was it see a girl so you are gymnast right Sean I feel like if I wasn't perfect I was like quiet and oh my gosh similarities are crazy because you got beauty pageant gymnastics both very subjective like you have to please everybody then you got football football then we got the YouTube thing going on and anyway it's pretty fun so many similarities yeah but I had a problem with that and that was a huge hurdle for us when we finally got married because I was just expecting when I got married like things were just supposed to flow like yeah you know before you get married how many people really sit you down and say hey guys like this is what you should look out

for here are some things you should do as a wife today and I'm like nobody got to tell me so we're just kind of figuring things out along the way and it was a lot of um tough times that we had because as I was really trying to like pull certain things out of me and I just didn't know how to effectively even communicate how I felt so we've come a long way with that and I think in a recently I didn't know I didn't know how to communicate effectively you need it though Like, it wasn't just on her. I didn't know how to effectively communicate. Pagant girl, everything had to be a tent.

It had to be perfect, right? But me, I'm a football guy. So my first thing is I'm trying to amp her up. Let's fucking go. Let's fucking go to your girlfriend. But you know, but you know, right? They say athletes are like mushroom. They only grow if you shit on them and keep them in the dark.

So I was like, I want my girlfriend to, I know. you like mushrooms, but you don't like the process of how a mushroom becomes a mushroom. So my biggest issue was I used to treat my girlfriend, now my wife, like I used to treat my kids. I'm mentored. Like coaches treating me, like a teammate because. Which we are essentially, but I mean, you are a teammate, but we have to be honest, right, as people. The way athletes, especially football players, during the time that, how old are you, Drew? 31. 31. You're a little younger than me. I'm 30. I'm 38. I'm need 39. So I'm almost a whole decade only. But football was a little bit different. Like football, they could call you names. They could call you Sissy. They

could hit you. They would do two or days every single day. And I felt like that type of pressure was what made me successful. So trying to put that type of pressure on the people around me to make them successful would just be, I just felt like that's how it was. So when I was doing that to her early in our relationship and our marriage, I just saw her just shrinking and shrinking and it wasn't until five years into our matters that I realized that yo I can't we talked about this in the book I must give you our little tidbit we found out that she was pregnant with well she found out she was pregnant with our second son kinder before I did so she was trying to surprise me she didn't tell me that she was pregnant but while she had also

while she was pregnant she also told me she wanted to get in the best shape of her life going into the new year so I was trying to hold her accountable and she was she wasn't working out I didn't know she was in her first trimester. And she didn't tell me because she wanted to surprise me. With the new year, I wanted it to be like, oh, you know, the announcement. I'm like, yo, you said you want to get in the best shape of your life. We got to do this together. And we kept procrastinating and procrastinating.

And one day I just lost. I said, you know what your problem is? You just fucking lazy. You're fucking lazy. If you want to be great, you've got to be great. Just like the guys on YouTube. You got to wake up in 4 a minute. You got a dude in a minute fast.

And she was like, I'm not fucking lazy to vow. I'm fucking crazy. But I'm like, well, why don't you lead with that? Yeah, why didn't you? I didn't know what to say. I was like, really like a couple days shy of the new year. And I'm like trying to think of a new way. Because prior to this, we had Jackson, our oldest.

There were five years in between. And I was having trouble getting pregnant. Like, I knew something was wrong. I had to have a special procedure done. So it was like a big deal for me to be like, but I was also battling like the worst morning sickness at the time. because I was trying to hold out and it was just awful. I mean, we can relate on so many things now.

The amount of times the accountability side of it, like you said, it's like it's such a fine balance between trying to balance the like former athlete side and like the marriage side because Kadyan, I'm really similar with you when you're saying like if you don't feel like you have that choice, when he starts to become my coach, I shut down. Because I'm like, dude, I had a coach for 25 years. Don't tell me what to do. I will choose it on my own.

She's like, you're being really controlling. I'm like, what the, what do you? You said you wanted to work out three days a week. What do you want? But I actually want to sleep in today. Let's get off my back, okay? You can get protein at home or a protein latte at Tim's. No powders, no blenders, no shakers.

Starting at 17 grams per medium latte, Tim's new protein lattes, protein without all the work. At participating restaurants in Canada. But it's the communication. We have a play date after this. We have to have a play date. Please. Please.

Our one-year-olds can run wild together. Yes, absolutely. But it is that communication is so hard to figure out, especially, like, kind of like you guys were saying, coming from a perfectionist and then a former athlete, like the aggressive side and, like, trying to figure out how to support each other. It takes so long to figure out. And we're still in the middle of it. I mean, we have a one-year-old and a three-year-old and we don't sleep ever.

So we're always at each other's throats. But it's a wild adventure. But I'm also like, I'm like, we've been married almost seven years now. I'm like, Sean, I got a resume. I got a track record. Like you can't just all of a sudden think I'm going to turn into this controlling guy because I asked you to. Yeah, I'm like, my reputation should speak for itself now at this point.

It doesn't. But it doesn't. No. You're like, yeah, it should. But no, it does. We had a conversation because we don't even scream to argue. like that anymore. Like, once you get to 12 years, you're like, the screaming argument don't matter.

I don't feel like doing this and I want to have sex later. So we're not going to have it. Right. We don't need to be any of you. So. But I did tell her, I said, Kay, you know what bothers me? You'll tell me, for example, you want to work out for times a week. So I'll say, yes, let's go. Let's set a plan.

She goes, uh-uh. I want to work out three times a week when I want to work out. Exactly. Oh, my God. Exactly. I'm like, there's no accountability there. She's like, I don't need accountability. I just need you to cheer me on when I'm going to the gym

and then tell me I look good after the gym. Absolutely. And tell me you're proud of me. That's it. Tell me you're proud of me. Exactly. And spot me on the rack if I, you know, try to be ambitious and squat again, which I started doing.

Dang, let's go. She's getting after it. My mentality is like, Sean, I'll be like, I want to have a, like, women's group once a week. I'm like, let's put it on the calendar. Let's send out the text. We're going to be 7 p.m. every Wednesday night. She's like, whoa.

Whoa. Back on. Anyway. Let me do this on my terms. I do something I really appreciate that. You guys saying, I'll never forget this. When we got engaged, I was going on a walk with a friend. And I was like, okay.

And they'd been married. She had been married already for like five years. I was like, okay, prepare me. What is marriage like? What are we going to argue about? Like, I was truly trying to prepare for it. And she goes, oh. me and my husband don't fight I don't think we've ever had an argument and I was like

wow uh okay but similar to you guys we talk about everything every like thing that has happened will happen preparation how I felt how you made me feel what are you thinking what do you do all these things we almost cause arguments very consistently but I think it's great because we end up knowing so much about each other. Absolutely. That it makes it so much easier. No, absolutely. Look, I agree with that notion of almost causing arguments

because realistically it's not an argument. It's more of a debate and it's more of a clash of ideas, right? How do you learn about someone else unless they challenge your thought, right? If you get into a mindset of my thought is the only thought that matters and I'm the correct thought, then you become egotistical, right? Self-centered. and then you also make yourself dumber because you refuse to listen to other people's thoughts. So we both learned how to not deflect our partner's feelings, right?

So if I say something and she says, that hurt my feelings, I've learned to not say, well, your feelings shouldn't be hurt because that's not how I meant to. You can't do that. You have to accept the fact that, hey, I hurt your feelings. I'm not going to keep telling you why your feelings shouldn't be hurt. I'm going to accept the fact that your feelings are hurt. Can you at least listen to what I was saying then?

And we've learned to navigate that space both sides because as a man, my feelings be hurt too sweetheart. Okay, don't tell me that I shouldn't have hurt feelings. It was one time we talked about this in the book. He told me she wanted me to be more vulnerable. So I started to be more vulnerable telling how I feel. Then she got tired of that because I kept telling her how I felt

And she gets to say, you know, he's someone a bitch. And I'm like, wait a minute, wait a minute. How I'm a bitch now? You know what I told me to be vulnerable. I can only take it in doses, though. Delano has left out the simple fact that he was captain of the debate team. So sometimes having a disagreement with him or trying to hash things out becomes an exhausting exercise. It's like an extreme sport sometimes.

I can see Andrews the same way. He's the same way. He some, oh my gosh. The amount of times, it's time for my rebuttal now. Are you done? It's time for my rebuttal. Give me the stage. Put me on the mic.

Let's go. No, I'm not even kidding. There have been, there have been so many times where we will get in long, long, long debates and like close to arguments. But he'll be debating something he doesn't even believe in because he just wants to debate the other side. Big devil's advocate. And at the end of it, he'll be like, oh, no, no, no, I totally agreed with you the whole time. I was like, what are you doing? He's trying to expand your mind.

Devil's advocate. I do the same thing. I do the same thing. But Andrew, ain't it like a great, it's like a great mental exercise? 100%. One of my friends called me on it because I was debating that Michael Jordan is the goat.

And my boy says, wait a minute! You were yelling at me, that LeBron James is the goat. We're not debating with you right now. I'm just kidding with him. And then he was like, what is this is the bullshit? You're getting upset.

You're being emotional. I can't. If you don't have stats and facts and facts, don't debate with me, sir. Do you remember that commercial with, what was it? It was Old Spice. When it was like way too much cologne wearer. And now you think, DeVal is the way. too much receipt puller outer.

Because DeVos first to pull out a receipt and be like, well, you said on October 4th, Words have power. Facts. Words have power. I mean, I do that. DeVal, like, it's like now I have to like train my brain when we have like a discussion or a disagreement or anything to like,

okay, I have to listen to all of his points. So I know what points I'll then have to have a rebuttal to. It's a whole point. And I have to remember it at the same time while listening to him because I'm genuinely trying to understand him. And it literally has become an extreme sport having a discussion. You just became a more efficient human. Like, Sean will be like, it hurts my feelings when you, when you bring up the exact thing that I said earlier.

I'm like, I'm like, what? My mind, I can't understand this. Doesn't make it easy. No. And then I'll throw it back and I'll be like, what? Are you going to bring up this sentence that I said in a year and like use it against me? Probably because you said it. Yes, you said it.

Well, I was trying to express my feel, okay? But we've learned that feelings are not connected to words. Feelings are just feelings. And when you can at least validate your partner's feelings, even if y'all don't agree, it makes the argument go away and we can still have a conversation. It took us a long time to deal with that. Because just like you, Drew,

when she would say the same thing to me and hers my feelings, when you just bring up stuff that I said, then I would just be like, that sounds dumb. But you can't insult the person you love. And in the moment, I didn't think I was insulting her. I was being honest. I was like, okay, how are you going to get upset at me for reminding you what you said?

And I don't give a shit. I don't feel like, I don't feel that. Like, why do I have to be so deadlocked on the feelings in that moment? Maybe it's changed your mind. Maybe I grew up. And you're allowed to change your mind. And I like when you change. you know so just remind remember that you changed it so then when we start debating remember

which side of your mind you on that day yeah so i can you make with that you know do you uh so how you're 140 some episodes in your podcast is that right yeah something that we're just started recording season season 10 yeah 141 do you well i love doing this with sean because like we would we have conversations here we otherwise never would also we would not be talking to YouTube if we didn't have a podcast and it's so much fun but do you have a do you like youtube like the vlog vibe or the podcast seem better oh what's a good one i particularly i like the podcast because it's very just low maintenance for me it's it's typically what we do on a day to day basis but it also gives an added layer to people who follow us or for example

instagram or youtube where they get to kind of get almost like a behind the scenes or like the rehash of why we, for example, put a video out or if there's like an extended lesson in something that we, we had in an episode with the boys on YouTube that we can like talk more about at length. And I also like it because DeVal and I joke about our podcast being a form of therapy for us, but it legitimately is. So I feel like I usually walk away from conversations with him, even conversations when we're guests on other shows. Like, I'll learn something new about him or learn something new that we can like take from you guys and say, oh my God, we don't feel crazy because I'm like, well, Sean and Drew are the same way because they sat on the podcast.

You know, so it doesn't make you feel crazy. She's definitely going to do that. Yeah, I like the podcast space for that reason. And it's super easy to just sit at home and we're in the comfort of our home, which is nice down. And, you know, we get to do our thing and then keep the pushing. I would have to say I like the podcast too because I feel like the world with Instagram and Twitter and Facebook has become so aesthetically driven, right? Everybody wants to see perfection.

Everybody just wants to see that. No one actually listened. You know, for example, we put up a flyer that we're going on tour. The first question in all of the comments is, what are the tour dates? Did you even read the, like, did you read the caption at all? People just are so programmed now to look at something and then respond to what they looked at. I feel like when you have a podcast, people are forced to listen. You know, you put on your headphones, you listen to people speak.

You get an more in-depth idea of who we are. by listening to us as opposed to just watching us. You know, a shout out to my wife. She's very distracting because she's fond as hell. And we do these, we do these blogs. You know, we do these blogs. And people don't be listening to what we're saying on the vlogs. Or looking at my wife.

Or what they want to do sometimes is like take a little clip of a conversation or something and then take that and then run with it. And it's like, bro, you didn't even listen to the entire episode. Like the monogamy episode that we had that went viral. and people were getting on us. Some people were like team devout. Some people thought we need to be divorced. There were so many opinions flowing around

because people only heard a small snippet of maybe 30 seconds when there was an entire hour-long episode about how we even arrived at getting to that point. So it's nice to have the podcast as a way to kind of back up the things that we've said or the things that have like people have taken and run with on social media. Have y'all heard the monogamy episode or seen the clip? Yeah, give us a synonym.

opposite of what went down there. So ultimately what happened was Padena and I had been together since we're 18. And when we were in college, we had such maybe like three, four times a day, some time. You know, it's college. Like you 18 is new. It's like, ah, ah.

So as we got older, life starts happening. We get married. Even when we were engaged, things slow down. You know, her body was changing. She was on birth patrol. She had babies at one point. And we had went through a period where intimacy was at an,

all-time love. And we couldn't figure it out. So me being the accountability person was just like, what's wrong with me? Like, why is my wife not into me? So I'm doing all these things trying to figure out what it is. And I got to a point where I was like, it's not me. It has to be you. And I'd be coming on to her, coming on to her. And they'd be talking, she's like, I'm not in the mood. Or she's like, I'm tired. Or she would promise, well, she never does that I'm not in the mood. She would promise me early in the day. Like, yo, tonight, I'm going. Then the night time come around and she would go to sleep. And in the, in the episode, I said, you know, I think it's unfair for you as a woman to demand monogamy for me.

And she was like, wait, I demanded monogamy and I was just like, you wanted to be exclusive, correct? And she was like, you didn't want to be exclusive? And I was like, I never said I didn't want to be exclusive. But you definitely told me that if I wasn't only with you, then we couldn't be together. And first of all, when I said that, people were just like, oh, he don't. want to be where you want to be with other women, but that wasn't my point. My point was if you're going to demand monogamy for me, and the one thing you don't want me to do is be with anybody else. When I come to you, why do you make it seem like it's a chore when I come to you for the

one thing that you don't want me to share with anybody else? And I said that it's not fair. It's not fair for you to ask me to share only myself with you. And then when I try, you make me feel guilty for and then I said um I think part of the conversation that was in that clip too was me saying that like he felt like I pressured him into getting married or pressured him to proposing and I said it wasn't me trying to put pressure on you it was me saying we've been dating for eight years at what point are we going to take this to the next level because I don't knew that he wanted to be with him for the rest of my life he was going to be the father of my children all of that was already in my mind but in my mind I'm also like looking at this list of things

I had to do by a certain age and I was like okay I'm rolling on my late 20s like Like, if this is going to be my guy, when are we going to get married so we can have these kids? And then people really ran with that too. They were like, oh, she pressured him into being married and, you know, that was not a debate. The guys said that she weaponized her vagina by pressuring me into monogamy. And then when she got me to commit, cutting off the vagina and saying, you can only give it when I wanted. And then all the women were saying that I was an egotistical, narcissistic maniac that only wanted my wife for sex. And based on the clip that they heard without context, that's what it sounded like.

But what we ended up discussing it throughout the whole episode was how she and I were never prepared for what monogamy actually looked like. We watched a bunch of Disney movies and felt like, oh, once you get married, everything's going to be perfect. No men ever told me that once your woman had, what's your baby's mom has babies, her body is going to physiologically change. Her sex drive is going to go down. She may not feel as sexy because she's gained weight. If she gets on birth control, that may affect her libido. No one told me that as a man. So all this time, I'm saying to myself, what's wrong with me?

We didn't realize that it was everything we were doing to her body that changed the way she viewed sex. No women were telling her, like, listen, that man that you see with a bunch of different women who get sex whenever he wants, the minute you ask him not to have sex with everybody else, his sex drive is. still going to be as high. And if you want him to be with you, you have to put the work in to make sure that he's okay. It's like no one told us to be focused on our partners when it came to intimacy. We just thought we had to be focused on ourselves. And throughout the episode, we talked about all of the myths that we busted during that time and how we got our intimacy back and how we were able to grow and how sex is better than ever now. But they didn't get to

that part. They only saw the 30 second clip and then, you know, just went crazy on Twitter. I got canceled on Twitter. I'm not even on Twitter. They canceled me on Twitter. All the women, black Twitter canceled me on Twitter. And then all the men was just like, she wronged. She wanted him for his money and all this other stuff. Little did they know we were together.

She's 18. I was like, what money? It's a meal card. I got it. But yeah, it was just that monogamy episode was, it was a big deal for a lot of people. But to us, it was just a typical marriage conversation. Well, and I understand how it's like people run with people

like people run with it because if you talk about anything real anymore people just run with it and they're like oh you can't talk about this but that's it's amazing that that's actually a conversation you guys had because that's something you have to work on in marriage yeah and most people would either just like not talk about it and things would get so drastically worse and then you end up building a wedge between like each other and I think it's really good we've had the same conversations. We've, no,

go ahead, Drew. I was just saying, sex is such an interesting, like, uh, object that, that I think reveals a lot about a relationship and where it's at.

Because it's like, well, it's such a fragile thing. Like if, if there's disharmony or disagreement, like you're not necessarily having sex. I remember our premarital counselor told us that like, hey,

there's going to be sometimes where, uh, Sean's not feeling like, having sex but it's an act of service and it's selfless for her to like engage in that and vice versa too like sometimes I'm like I'm like you know I need a little little bit of time to reload you know between but and I'm like I don't got it right now and like that can hurt her feelings too but then it's like it is this really cool process of supporting each other and like hey I can't give this to you right now or I want to but I can't and let's have like a let's still be intimate even though

we're not having sex, like we could really get to know each other better, you know? No, I agree with you, and I feel like if more people had these conversations, when people decide to fully engage in monogamy, they won't be caught off guard. You know, like we have four hoars. I am going to speak to my sons and say, listen, if you choose monogamy, the first thing you have to understand is that your girlfriend or your wife may not always be in the mood when you're in a mood. And I say that because there have been women who wrote into us who said,

in my relationship, I'm devoured and my husband's Khaddin. And this is the crazy part. When the monogamy episode came out, a lot of women were bashing me. A lot of men were bashing Padilla. But there were women who were saying, like, yo, I be in a mood and my man don't be in a mood. And I feel less than a woman when my man is not ready for me. And I heard women say, yeah, I get that.

So I'm like, wait a minute. So when you want to have sex and he don't want to have sex and he don't want to have sex and you're upset about it, that's okay. But when I, as a man, want to have sex and she don't want to have sex and I'm upset about it, that's wrong. Make it make sense. You know what I'm saying? I started to realize that people started to serve their genders more than they serve their marriage. And what we realize is that we can't serve our gender within our marriage. We have to serve the other person. That's how we came up with the title, We Over Me. Every decision we make in this house has to be a decision for both of us and our children. I can know that. I can know

longer make a decision for just a vow. When I made these vows to this woman, I can no longer at this point say, I'm doing this just for me. If I'm going to do that, I shouldn't be married, and vice versa. And when we started doing that, our marriage just, the crazy thing, our marriage started to blossom. Financially, we started to blossom. But sexually, it's been like on a whole different level because I started to get more in tune with her body. I started to understand how the women's reproductive system work. I understood how that's how I still don't understand how that works, bro. I got I don't know. You're 31.

When I was 31, I had no clue. No clue. You had two kids, okay? You've got to figure it out at some point. I'm ready. Clearly you're doing something right. First of all, you bagged you a nice one. So you're doing something right.

You clearly know something about the reproductive thing because you got two kids. But when Kadeen, we almost lost kids. degree with having Jackson. You know, she almost died at a childbirth. She had a cervix. She was lacerated. She had to get emergency surgery. So that was the first instance where I said, I have to be more involved with her reproductive health. And

when we had Cairo, he was almost born in the car because we were driving there trying to get there because we didn't want to do epidural anymore. We didn't want to do any medication. The black Nissan Maxima with the subs and back? At this point, we were doing okay.

Okay, okay. I had to do it. I had an Audi. I had an Audi. Yeah, Ali. Yeah, that's nice, nice. Imagine having a baby on them seats. She, she's in the car like this, grabbing my neck, talking about, baby is going to come out.

I'm so sorry. The seats, the seat's going to get messed up. And I'm like, okay, stop worrying about the seats. You'll be, you'll be fine. But with every child, we had two home births. Yeah, our last two were at home, which is amazing. Yeah, we had them in a tub. So things would be happening to my body and development.

out. It's like he almost, it's almost like he started. He was so proactive when it came to me in my body and like things that I needed. Like he'd come home with like vitamins and like you should drink this and that. And I was like, for what? And he's like, I wrote up on this and that. And I'm like, all right. I mean, go ahead then. I read. I have a whole bunch of literature in my upstairs, which is from doctors, which is from pediatricians, which are from gynecologists, because I didn't want to just look up on YouTube because you don't know what you can trust on YouTube. So I just gathered a bunch of literature from actual physicians. about what to focus on with women's reproductive health.

But then I also learned, like, yo, if her pH balances off, if her hormones are off, her libido is the first thing to go. That's how I ended up getting a septu. Because I realized she was on birth control for close to 20 years we were together. And I was like, wait a minute. When we first got together, she wasn't on birth control, we were having sex nonstop.

She gets on birth control and slowly over time, And that's when I learned both birth control doesn't only stop semen from penetrating the egg. It also stops a libido from you wanting to have as more sex. Yeah, hormones are like. So I was like, yo. So how have things been since a vasectomy? What's up? How have things been since a vasectomy?

Oh. This is the funny thing, right? The vasectomy, at least from my perspective, seemed like it was a piece of a cake, okay? No, it was. It was, it was a piece of cake. Like, like, bro, you are athlete. Let me tell you something. The relation to athletics. Let me tell you something. All the regular pedestrians, right?

You'll get a vasectomy. They'll be out two weeks. They're going to milk you. Oh, oh. I had a vasectomy on Thursday. I was ready to have sex on Sunday. Back in that. Aren't you still in recovery?

I was hoping to buy myself at least a good week or two. Nah, we got to test this out. Because I told the doctor, I asked him, I said, hey, is my nut going to be the same? And he was like, what you mean? I was like, the consistency. Like, I can't have a watery nut. Like, it's just, I don't want her to look at my nut now and be like, oh.

And it's different. It's exactly the same. It's so funny because we looked at the calendar this morning and we're like, oh, shit, we have Sean and Drew this morning. So we were supposed to go back to the urologist to take his sample in to just get doubly tech to make sure that there's nothing still swimming. So, but how fresh How fresh out the game are you? Oh, I just had it done October 13th, October 13. I'm just fresh out the game after we had.

So here's another story about being of service. After we had Dakota, we had a plan on having a fifth baby. We was like, yo, we can use we have a fifth baby. But she ended up suffering from postpartum preclamshund. So the doctor told us like, listen, and once again, she almost had a stroke of blood pressure was like 200 over 120. Yeah, it was crazy. It was something crazy.

and the doctor said, lucky you brought her in, because if she did like most women do, which is go to sleep because they have a headache, I could have woke up the next morning and my wife would just be there. And I was like, babe, no, we have to figure out how to make you healthy. Like, we have to figure this out. So the doctor was like, the doctor was like, listen, you have to try. I don't think you should have another baby because if you have another baby, you're going to have full-blown pre-eclamps and get lost pregnancy.

Yeah, the chances are higher when you have that come around. And also, too, I had the IUDD in at this point. and I was losing so much blood every month. It was just a mess. I was like, I need to get my body off of it. I was borderline anemic. I'm like, it's your turn. And I'm not going to sit here and be like, I was like, yes,

the septum. I'm a man. No, I was like, really? You really want me to snip? I mean, I can't do that. But thinking about her reproductive health and even just her life was more like, all right, let me go and do this. The crazy thing is the minute she took that IUD out,

it was like a different fucking. Like, before it used to be, we would have sex on the Monday. I knew, and this may be a little bit too much information, but this is how, this is how she used to be of service to me and I used to be a service to her. We'd have sex on a Monday. I knew we weren't going to have sex two days in a row because she wasn't in the week. Tuesday, she gave me head. Wednesday would be a day off. But Thursday, she's like, I'm ready. So Thursday, we'd have sex again. By the day, she'd like, talk about a schedule, right, Sean? It's like this is a lower body day, upper body day.

Exactly. She took the IUD out, Monday comes around. We have sex. Now I'm prepared on Tuesday to be like, yo, you don't got to have no sex. She got on shorts and the top and she put the kids in bed. I'm like, yo. I'm like, what are you? What's up? What's up? She's like, what's up? You tell me what's up. So I'm like, oh. We go for two days in the row. And then it just seemed like her current. libido just started to naturally grow more. It's amazing how the body just like when you rid it of anything that's just outside of it. A woman's body is the most sensitive. Like think about it. You create humans with this body.

You create humans. It should be taken care of. And this is why this is another thing I spoke to her gynecala. Not gynecology. The midwife, yeah. When they talked about women being promiscuous, when they talk about women just having the sexual revolution where the women can do the same thing a man can be. She said to me, Anshy said a vow, a woman can never do the same thing a man can be. She said, there's so much things that

happen to a woman's body every time they have intercourse, whereas with a man, nothing literally happens. She was like the amount of bacteria. And she made it clear to me that even when I want to have sex all the time, I'm putting my wife at risk for infection, for bacteria infection, for so many different things. So it just may be more cognizant of the fact that I have to take care of this instrument if I wanted to perform what I wanted to perform. So the more I did that, the more she fell in love with that. And then now it's like, we're closer. Instruments to perform.

It's like that Audi A7. You got to, you got to treat it. You got to give it the premium, fool, the whole thing. Yeah. Yeah. You got to put premium gas. Exactly. You can't put no regular gas in there.

You go down the leather seat. I get the oil. I get the oil. I get the oil. I'd be oiling down the seats. Well, Deval, Cadeen, thank you for the time. All right, for those listening, I'm just going to do a list off here. We got the podcast, dead ass, check out.

If you want to hear more of these two, hilarious, would highly recommend you. Check that out. They're also on a podcast tour. We'll link that. Their book, We Over Me, is on shelves February 7th. We're going to link that. Congratulations on that. And then we got Instagrams on all the socials.

And their merch. The merch. Check out the merch. I love it. Merge, we're on Patreon for extended content. Yeah, you can hear the full episodes of the podcast and the behind the scenes and the live shows on our Patreon. We also have the travel show coming out with the shows in February.

Yeah. What is that on? You know, go USA.com, yeah. That's amazing. You guys are busy. That's amazing. Always busy. Always busy.

We're not having no more kids, though. That part, too. Well, we'll keep lighting it up as you always have. And I want to buy you dinner in Nashville or Atlanta at some point. I feel like we'll get along. I'm with it. Yeah. I'm with it because I know Nashville makes good barbecue, right?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's one that you know for. So Nashville makes good barbecue. We appreciate y'all. For sure. For allowing us to utilize your platform. You guys are amazing. For sure.

You love y'all. To see you guys doing this at your age, like you're still babies, really. You know what I'm saying? Like 31. Amazing. To have this level of communication and vulnerability. and just be such a light for people who want to be married, man. It means a lot.

Like, at 31, we didn't have it figured out. You know, we were trying, we were struggling. But to see you guys like this makes us feel real. I'm smiling on the inside. I love, love. I do love, man. I do. And I'm still, that light shot got in the back.

Yeah, we got to get a light. Yeah, you got to figure out the lighting situation. I'm not going to lie. And I hate, I know you just got that Mario Kart shirt, but I think you sweat through it already, bro. like you already got the oh my gosh look at it I'm going all in on this end you okay I'm putting in the work I'm putting in the work oh yeah well I love it I think we're sharing the same type of message so glad to be doing it together but thank you guys