Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew - 16 Ellie + Jared Mecham

Episode Date: April 8, 2020

This week, in episode 16 of Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew we sit down with our new friends, Jared and Ellie Mecham. We haven't yet gotten the chance to meet these guys in person but it sure feels like we've known them for a while after this conversation. They didn't know it at the time, but they helped us through some of the toughest times in our life. Jared and Ellie Mecham are big time YouTubers, podcasters, bloggers, and all around great people. We speak with them about the struggles of infertility, how to raise a family in this day and age, and how they've inspired others through their work. We even get their take on some of the best snacks out there. Tune in for a fun one, Ellie and Jared Mecham.   If you want to follow Jared & Ellie, you can find them on instagram as @elliemecham and @jaredmecham. Also check out their website where you can find their blog, books, podcast & clothing line! https://ellieandjared.com/.    If you haven't yet, please rate and subscribe to the show to hear more! And if you have suggestions/recommendations for the show, send us your ideas in a video format - we might just choose yours! Email us at [e-mail].   We are supported by the following AMAZING companies! Make sure to check them out using our special code & link below!   Best Fiends! Download Best Fiends FREE on the Apple App Store or Google Play. That’s FRIENDS without the R–Best Fiends! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Summer's here, and you can now get almost anything you need for your sunny days delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? Well, you can't get a well-groom lawn delivered, but you can get a chicken parmesan delivered. A cabana? That's a no. But a banana, that's a yes. A nice tan, sorry, nope. But a box fan, happily yes. A day of sunshine? No. A box of fine wines? Yes. Uber Eats can definitely get you that. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats.

Order now. Alcohol and select markets. Product availability may vary by Regency app for details. Are we allowed to, like, have sex? Yeah. Sorry, I don't. What a baby is? Is this? Not one. Why didn't I like bend down?

No. No. I did not want to be taken advantage of in my physical condition, Ellie. For months. There's a fine line that you don't want to cross with your kids. And then it's like this weird, you're making money from your kids. And then what if they grow up and they don't want to be a part of it? You know what I'm saying?

Like there's so. What's up everybody? Welcome back to Couple Things with Sean and Andrew. A podcast all about couples and the things they go through. Today we are joined by Jared and Ellie Meekam. This has been a podcast that's two years in the making. He first reached out to me for us to be on their podcast. Ellie and Jared is the title of it. And so I'm glad we could finally make it happen. I feel like we meshed with this couple very well. And I was super glad to get their wisdom on how they have navigated this digital world. They've, they created over 1,200 consecutive vlogs on YouTube. They have over 740 million YouTube views, 1.6 million subscribers. They're

legends on social media. And so having them walk us through how they've done that with kids, I thought was really, really helpful. I was personally excited to talk to them, especially Ellie. No offense, Jared. But when I miss. carried and we went through that whole experience and journey a few years ago. It was truly watching their vlogs and watching Ellie and her infertility stories that really got me through that emotional time and kind of taught me how to heal from it. So I felt already super connected to them and I had so many questions. This is an amazing interview. We love them. I hope you guys love it as much as we do. Yeah, we cover a lot of topics like the infertility and their struggle

through that, how to raise a family in the modern age, what good snacks there are to eat. And so I think you guys will like this one. If you guys haven't yet, if you could give the show a rating and subscribe to it on whatever platform you're listening to, that would be much appreciated. And let's go ahead and jump in this one with Ellie and Jared. Ellie and Jared, welcome to the show. Thank you so much. Thanks for having us. We're so excited to be here virtually. Yeah, we were just talking. It's been a couple years in the making, so I'm glad we could finally make it work. But I'm super pumped because I feel like there's so much that we could talk about with you too. Yes. And I'm excited to jump into it. So we first have to start off hearing how you two met. We always love

hearing the first meeting story. Oh my gosh. How much time do you have? It was truly love at first sight. It really was. And I know that's like super cliche to say, but we have a distinct moment where we both knew there was this spark and our relationship started like from that moment. So I'll start by saying, so I served a mission for our church. We're members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. And I served my mission in Helsinki, Finland, or the whole country of Finland. And when you're a missionary, you have what's called a companion. And my companion, his name was Landon, he had a girlfriend.

And he would write home to his girlfriend. And I would see that they would write back and forth. And when it was time to come home, there's like this homecoming me. and he speaks in church and so I sat down and I happened to sit down next to his girlfriend and I know right so I sit down where I think it's going so I sit down next to his girlfriend and we start talking a little bit obviously I know who she is like from the letters and everything and then all of a sudden a head just kind of peeks in from the other side of his girlfriend Oh, okay, I thought it was his girlfriend for a second.

The girlfriend was my sister. And so these two brother, you know, came home and they ended up marrying the two sisters. Yes. So I leaned my head over because I thought, dang it, my sister already had a boyfriend. Like, stop talking to the guys. Let me do it. So I had this long blonde hair and I like lean over and we met eyes and we both just smiled. And then I leaned back.

And it just honestly was love at first sight. and we got married a year later. Yeah. I think that's a cute story. I have a question. Yeah. I have a question. Because it sounded like from what I know about your story, you were bedridden for like three months and that's when like all this conversation started happening.

What was that about? So why, I mean, throughout my life, I've had hip troubles, especially in high school and college. So I was a pole vaulter. I went to college for pole vaulting and just my hips got so bad to the point. point where I couldn't really walk all that well. And I had so many procedures done, so much physical therapy done on my hip. And so many doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. I'm originally from Washington State. It took me going to the University of Utah where they were doing experimental surgeries on acetabular retroversion, where I found out that

I had just that. So for those who are watching on the screen, like if this is your hip, or sorry, your femur, and then your acetabulum, your hip socket, most people are shaped like that, where there's space between for cartilage and everything. Mine was shaped like that. So anytime I, like, ran, it would tear and rip and rub against each other. And so I have, like, no cartilage there. And the surgery entailed they broke my hip in three places,

shaved the femoral head down, and then screwed it back together with four screws. So after we met, I was recovering for three months at my grandma's house, which was about 15 minutes away from Ellie's house. And so she would come and visit me, and we would talk for hours and hours. So I was literally just laying there in bed, and we would have all of these conversations. And none of that time, we kissed. Right.

That boggled in my mind. Why didn't I like bend down? No. No. I did not want to be taken advantage of in my physical conditions. addition, Ellie. For months. Why did I not bend down and say goodbye and like kiss you? I don't know. We never kissed. We had like funny like kissing stories that are like, why didn't we kiss? But it was, but that is I think what makes our relationship just honestly so special is because

we are really good at communication. And like if that's the one thing our relationship has like heaven bless, that's great. You know, like we really. are good at communicating. And I think that that is why is probably because we didn't kiss. We'd have any like physical contact. We literally just fell in love by talking for nine months. That's amazing. I know. I mean, I was the same with Andrew, but it was only the first three days. I was like, why won't he kiss me? What's wrong? He's taking me on these dates. No, I had to go a different route. My personality's not that great. So I kissed Sean on the second date just to, you're like, I got to go quick. I kiss you.

Wait, Sean kissed Andrew first. Yes. You made the move. I had to. That's so funny. He's literally like standing this close to me. So did he go 90 and then you went 10 or did you go 90 and he went 10? Probably a fair would put it.

Yeah, you went 90. I went 10. But you went and then you just hold it. I did. You took it across the line. Andrew pulled a hitch. Yes. Okay.

So I want to kind of fast forward. So love at first sight. guys got married if you guys don't mind just given we have a kid now and the whole parent world I'd love to talk about kids totally for sure because I think something that we weren't expecting and I don't think you guys were expecting either people scare the crap out of you as kids and they're like if you have sex you're going to have a child yeah and that's it and for us it was this crazy dynamics shift of trying to get pregnant and have a baby can you first run people through your story and then I have a bunch of questions yeah absolutely yeah um well we had been married only a year

and I kept coming home from work and I would literally have these like daydreams of a little boy I was like this is weird like I'm not ready to have a kid and then like the next week I came home I'm like oh my gosh I have the same daydream of this little boy like why like it was just weird and so I'd like brush it off and finally after a few times I came home and I was like Jared I think maybe we should like start trying to have a baby and he was like I've been thinking the same thing and so it's like we both were feeling these things but we both knew it was kind of too soon and so we didn't mention it so you know after we had that really cool experience um after what a year of trying to trying to see our family doctor the first time it was like after a full year because some doctors

when they when you're experiencing trouble getting pregnant they're like try for a year first don't even come in try for a year so we we got such a long time it is a long time and you know which i have thoughts on that later trying to have a baby is different than just having yes you know it there is meant are we allowed to like have sex yeah Sorry, I don't, is this PG-G-13? Are we going straight up, rated, it takes, you know, it's more than just having sex. It's mentally draining, it's physically draining.

It's emotionally draining. There's so much more to it than just, you know, if people aren't, you know, in that. Physically draining. I think in the literal sense. Maybe I'm just out of shape. I'm just probably out of shape. That's probably what it is.

I mean, when your wife just wants to have a baby, good grief, I mean, we're talking about like two professional high-level athletes. Like, they don't. We're different guys. They have their water over there. We have our chips. I have water. Anyway, go ahead.

So it's a year later. So anyway, we ended up getting on Clomid. And honestly, like six rounds of Clomid. I think it was six or seven rounds of Clomid. And then we took a breather for a few months. And then we went to a fertility specialist where they did an ultrasound. and they talked all about PCOS with me. Time out real quick.

Ellie did multiple rounds of Clomid and then took a break because of the side effects from it. Like there's so many side effects to Clomid that, do you remember what you was? Oh, it was just awful, like hot flashes, you're irritable, you're like angry. It's just, it just is like all around not fun. So she did like, what, five or six rounds and then took a break for a few months and then did two more, I think. And then we're just like, this is too much. for Ellie. So then after we went to the fertility specialist, they said you have PCOS. They did

ultrasounds often. Then they had me on femura. And I ended up doing two rounds of femera, like in one cycle, if I remember, right? It was kind of weird. Like my lining was really thin. It was so long ago. But they, and then I was going to go in for insemination. And when I went in to, to do insemination. It was on my birthday. They said that the egg had released earlier than expected, so I'd have to do it the next month. And I was devastated.

Oh, my gosh. And, oh, we were so devastated. Oh, yeah, it was the worst. Because we had spent, it was like a few thousand dollars every time you do an ultrasound. And we were just like, what? Like, we felt like we just threw it away. Like, I can't imagine people to do IVF.

And so a few weeks later, they called and did blood work, and we actually found out that we got pregnant with femurra alone. And that even though the egg was smaller than they anticipated, that was our little Jackson Clark. Oh my God. Okay. Again, I could talk about this stuff for us. Ask away.

We literally talked about it for like six years on YouTube. So we can do it all day long. I actually think I watched 90% of your videos and we're trying to get pregnant because everything we went through, I was like, oh, there are people going through this too. You made me feel human. But going back to trying to get pregnant, I feel like everyone grows up watching these movies. And they're like, oh, you get surprised one time because you miss your period.

And you're like, oh, I'm pregnant. I'm going to go tell my husband that we're going to have a baby. And then you have a baby. And it's just this magical thing. And there's this weird shift with a lot of people where you go from this surprise. oh it's so romantic we just happen to have a kid to it becomes work yeah yeah and shifts the dynamic of relationships so much and nobody for that i'm curious how did it affect your guys's relationship going through that year or two years in the struggles that just kind of come

with it i mean i'll let you speak all roughly like i think it hit us further yeah like i don't think get quite uproared or changed our relationship necessarily up until after our third. Would you say? I mean, I definitely would say there were changes and difficulties. I mean, there were times where it's like, okay, we've got to, we've got to try. And it was just like, we just don't want to right now. Like this is, but it's like we've worked so hard and so long to get to this point. It's like if we don't do it right now, it's like then the opportunity is gone for another

month and you have to try again and with PCOS it's like you don't always know and so this is like before fertility treatments and everything so with Ellie being so irregular it was a battle you know finding out when we should even try in the first place like where we're at right now is like even after our third like we've been talking about having another and um it's already like what did I say two days ago I said call when was the last time I had a period yeah and um and it's like it's like come on we're waiting like so Time's ticking. Like, I mean, like I said earlier, like there's definitely emotional tolls.

There's physical tolls that go along with it that I don't think people realize unless they're going through it themselves. And that's like the whole reason we started the YouTube channel was because we didn't have anyone to relate to. We didn't have anyone that was going through this in our immediate family. I mean, some of our siblings, they get sneezed on and they get pregnant. And I mean, like your question of like how it affected your relationship, like if I think maybe we're, hearing this different because I mean in terms of like us as a couple

it was hard but it never jeopardized it was your question like once you had kids how did you like honestly any way you interpreted it I just remember for Andrew and I the first time we got pregnant was I mean like you see in movies it was like oh my gosh I just missed my period I might be pregnant

and you take the test and it's like holy crap and then when it became after that it was like all of these conversations and it would turn into arguments and emotion and almost trauma and you're just trying to figure out okay we need you know to do it now because it's the time and it's just it takes away all of this romance yes romanticism is that a word yeah yeah i don't know um and makes it and it turns it into a job and it affects that kind of love yeah yeah it affects that kind of love Yeah, the sensualness, the, the, the connection that you feel is no longer as prevalent as it once was because you're working towards something else.

I told Jared, and I mean, we've been very open with each other. I don't know if we've talked about this like on a podcast at all, but I told him, I was like, I almost feel like I got gypped in the sex department because, you know, we were young when we got married. I do not regret that at all. But in the most loving nicest way, we were not prepped at all from our parents. And so I kind of felt like that was like a hurdle going through sex emotionally and physically being first married. And then to then jump into infertility, I really got jipped. And then once you have kids, you are exhausted.

Like, our oldest is six years old, and he still wakes up. He woke up last night. I was like, I had a scary dream. And it's like, it's like we're exhausted. With Amex Platinum, access to exclusive Amex pre-sale tickets can score you a spot trackside. So being a fan for life turns into the trip of a lifetime. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Pre-sale tickets for future events subject to availability and varied by race.

Turns and conditions apply. Learn more at amex.com.ca slash Yanex. there's a reason why people say their sex life increases when they're in their 40s and it's because they don't flip and have kids in the house or they're like old enough sleep until 12 o'clock and you're like hey yeah we've got all the time in the world so honestly like that has made us very sad to be honest that we feel like the one thing you see all over the internet and all over movies and like like sensationalized or whatever is like this fun happy sex life is like not what we got and that it is sad and and maybe that's just reality but you know you talk

to your girlfriends you talk to your siblings and it's like that's not the reality for everybody and so yeah what is it one out of eight women suffer infertility or go through it yeah i'm sure it's way more than that but one out of eight women go through some sort of infertility and it's one at five is it yeah it's something crazy where you know someone directly and they probably haven't even Well, one of three pregnancies end in miscarriage. So I don't know, I don't know the distribution among people, but it's crazy. It's so frequent. Well, and again, infertility, again, I can talk about this forever.

So if you have a question, just interrupt me. I feel like infertility, too, is something nobody prepares you for. They teach you, like, growing up, everything about pregnancy, but nobody ever prepares you for infertility. And it's so much, like, more. prevalent or oh yeah or postpartum nobody says anything about that but it's just this it's it's it's an abyss that you have to kind of go through on your own with your significant other and figure it out and i mean we did exactly what you guys did we posted on youtube because we felt so alone with it because nobody

was either admitting that they were going through it or sharing their stories as well so it it felt isolating. Can I ask you you mentioned that that's a reason you started vlogging or or when you, uh, or when you started what? Can you guys hear us? Oh no. We cut out. I think just a little. I think we're back now. Okay. There we go. Um, you mentioned that that's the reason started on YouTube. And I'm curious, you guys had an amazing, you have an amazing channel on YouTube. If, if you're listening, you haven't checked out Ellie and Jared in their channel, go listen and go watch. But I want to humbly ask advice for, you vlog for over, I think, 1,200 days straight.

Yeah, five years straight. That's incredible. It's nuts. And Sean and I are kind of in this spot now where we have our first kid and we don't know what we don't know what to do on YouTube because there's like this. there's a fine line that you don't want to cross with your kids and then it's like this weird you're making money from your kids and then what if they grow up and they don't want to be a part of it and you know what I'm saying like there's so yeah how have you guys navigated that I like

you're years ahead of us and I'm just curious well and I think it's funny that you say that is because I think if you would have asked us that question five years ago our answer would be different then than it would be now so Ellie why don't you give the now answer or maybe I'll answer okay so if you asked us five years ago I think we would have said something like, you know, this is a really exciting time. Like you will get to see and look back on your kid every single day and you will never miss those memories. And I am so grateful for every single video that we had.

There were times behind the camera where it did affect, you know, our relationship. I mean, more so in the later years than it did the earlier years. Because it was something that we both, like, enjoyed so much and we got so much benefit it from it and there weren't a ton of like negative side effects from doing it um we had fun the kids had fun it gave us something a reason still talk about it jackson's like when can i get the camera and i let him play and stuff we just don't upload it right now but i mean the kids love it yeah and i mean obviously privacy is like a huge thing especially with kids and you know there were things that we took in you know in stride like we made sure not to do x y and z

while filming with the kids and so like that's really important we want to make sure our kids are protected and um you know again if you asked us five years ago it's like have fun with it enjoy it take as much time as you want with it but i think now it would be more like here's the thing i'm a very open book no matter what youtube or not social media or not i've always been like an open book and there are some people that look at situations like this and they think like you are so crazy what are you thinking but it's but i'm okay with that like i like being an open book i like talking about struggles i like talking about what brings me happiness and joy social media or not we had a blog before blogs were big our blog never got big we ended up shutting it down you know but like i've

always been the type to just like share and when we started we had no idea that it could be a full-time job and so we're sharing not making money and so it's it was was kind of hard moving forward when we eventually did start to make money and then all the sudden the naysayers and our life came at us and was like wait how do you do this you can make money and we were like no but you can't do it if you just want to make money like you have to like invest in these people it was hard seeing both ends of it to be honest um but right now i mean when we decided to cut back and slow down was not because all of a sudden I was worried about, you know, sharing too much.

It was, it honestly came down to, I just don't have the mental capacity right now as a mom to juggle a lot of things. And like my, I just didn't have it in me. Like even today, like if I were to have to pull the camera out, like, it's depressing outside. It's raining. It's freezing. It's cold. I've been inside since October because it's been a cold winter, you know, in Utah. And it's like that drains me thinking I have to entertain or have to like capture something of my day.

So it's like that is like the main reason why we started to slow down is I just didn't have it in me. I'm encouraged by that. I'm sorry. Go ahead. No, yeah. I was I was I was I was. I was I'm encouraged to hear you say that because we have like this is the whole reason we started the podcast was because we wanted an outlet. We were going down the vlogging path and we weren't.

sure if we wanted to or not obviously like people love watching kids and and like it's fun it's fun to do that and the reason we started was kind of like you um because we wanted to document all the special moments and then um we had some things that we wanted to share with a broader community that weren't right in our local space and so we started podcast because you were like well this is just Sean and I and Drew doesn't have part of it and so I don't know it's just like we're nervous and we just want to make sure we're going about it diligently and asking people like you who have done it so well what your opinion and stance and how you've done it so well i also think too there's the aspect of if you ask a hundred different people their opinions of social media and the purpose of social media

they're going to give you a different answer sure you're a hundred different answers absolutely so when it comes to how you share your life on social media and how you go about social media there's a million different opinions and probably at least half of them are going to say it's the wrong idea it's just however you use it and yeah you'll get people who are huge you know viewers fans what you know whatever you call them that will tell you know I hate the way you do social media but they're there every single day you know and it's that you know that's one thing that's hard and I think one of the biggest reasons is is the why you know why did we start doing YouTube is we had something that we wanted to document and we wanted to share

because we weren't getting that in our personal lives. And that was all the way through, you know, until we kind of took a break is, you know, infertility, pregnancy, kids, parenting, marriage, like all of those things were things that we actively wanted to talk about because, you know, like Ellie mentioned earlier, it's not something that we were really getting a ton of in our own personal life. So we were kind of showing the experience of going through that where we were finding out and sharing the successes and even the downsides of what we experience on a day-to-day basis. So I feel like in that aspect, it's like, yeah, share the stuff that's difficult with your life and your kids' life because someone might benefit

from it. You'll obviously have people say like, you know, don't do that. That's too much. But if you're helping people and it's what you want to do, then go for it. Obviously, there's a line with kids, you know, and you want to be respectful of that, but I found for me too, I love the podcast because we can be open, we can be free, we can say whatever we want. Ellie can swear on our podcast and not on the vlog. It just feels, it just feels really comfortable to be with adults and talking. Would I go back and do it again in a heartbeat I would? I do also think another reason of like slowing down on our end was it is really hard to raise your kids with so much business around almost stimulation yeah i mean being a mom or dad like it's really hard and you have

to really listen to your like inner mom your momologue yeah like and so when you're trying to like raise your kids but then there's thousands of people correcting or not liking or like it's really hard to ignore and you don't want to ignore because you want to have that really good relationship with your audience and so you know we also got to a point where we thought like this is really affecting how we're thinking and how we're parenting and how we're raising our kids and we need to like take our home environment back and let's have set up a little bit more boundaries and like that's why we do the podcast and that's why we do videos like once in a while and you know it's been a hard transition but that's kind of where we're at right now yeah

this episode is brought to you by defender with its 626 horsepower twin turbo v8 engine the defender octa is taking on the decar rally the ultimate offroad challenge learn more at land rover.ca so i don't know about i don't know about you but sean and i have been doing these virtual game nights since we're on lockdown now. And we've been having so much fun playing the games that we know and love, but also trying out new ones. One of the games that we know and love that I dominate at is best fiends. Yeah, I suck at it. It's best fiends. I love that has so many different levels and it's constantly changing. I get bored really easily and there's so many different aspects to this game that keep you kind of on your toes and interested. And

I'm also a puzzle nerd. I love puzzles. And this is the most like unique experience with a puzzle that I've ever gotten to play. I get lost in it for hours. Something about the puzzle solving and the problem solving along with like the colors just pop out at you. If you guys haven't tried it out, download the app and little temper is the character that's going to walk you through the tutorial is the character's name. But it's a lot of fun. And if you don't have Wi-Fi or cell phone service, which I was worried about because we're going to our lake house this weekend and we don't have reception there, you can still play it, which there aren't many games that you have that luxury. I think we're officially gamers, babe. The lockdown has made us gamers and I love it.

Anyways, guys, Best Fiends has thousands of levels already with new levels, events, and characters added every month. It's hours of fun right at your fingertips and you can even play online. With over 100 million downloads and tons of five-star reviews, Best Fiends is a must-play. Download best fiends free on the Apple App Store or Google Play. That's Friends, Without the R, Best Fiends. I was going to ask you, which do you like better YouTube or podcast, but you kind of just answer that. Oh, that's hard.

You guys are pioneers. I mean, I don't know if I could answer. I don't know if I could answer that. They're in their different elements. I mean, there's such a, we don't do video podcasts, or at least we don't anymore. But there's something that's so special about creating a story on video. I mean, when I sit down and edit a video, it's like I'm creating something and like I have videos that I just, I am so proud of. We hear the music and we just cry over because like we put so much heart and soul making sure the music hit the right now at the right time.

Exactly. So like in that aspect, it's like, oh, YouTube every time or video and every time. But the fact that we can sit down and do a podcast for an hour and really talk things out, there's something so special about that where it doesn't fit quite on YouTube the same way. In terms of the pioneer aspect, I don't think we're pioneers in any sense of the word. I think we're Generation 2 or even like Generation 1.5 because like I watched YouTube in 2006, 2007, 2008 when you'd get like your Philip DeFranco, who's still active on YouTube.

Crushin it. CTFXC and Shea Carl. Like all of those guys like that's who I started watching on YouTube. And, you know, the story of us starting YouTube, I was like, Ellie, you're, you discovered all these beauty people. I bought her a camera and I said, you're so much better than all of these girls. You can do such. So here's a camera.

Let's do YouTube and you do it. And it sat in the closet for an hour. He was trying to use me. I still am. I'm just kidding. It worked. But it's the infertility that really started us on that, that path. I feel like, I hope I answer, I hope I asked the question in the right.

tone more of like a I'm really curious because I want to make sure that yeah so you did yeah you did yeah no you did a great job so we always ask I have to ask every couple because I think it's our favorite questions um lighthearted one of you has to choose who wants to go first okay before you know the question I will I'll go first okay okay what is your biggest pet peeve with him oh I love Oh, I love it. We had a whole podcast about pet peeve. We also had a whole argument this morning about it. My biggest pet peeve is probably the lack of picking up after yourself.

Like even this morning, the socks were on the side of the bed again. Again. Yes. I don't understand it. Okay. Wait, did you say he drops everything on the side of the bed? Not everything, just like my socks. And his underwear and his hoodie and his sweatpants.

that's him literally at the foot of his bed it's like it's like he starts stripping the second he goes into our master like door frame and then there's just a trail of clothes to his side of the bed and they just stay there and i'll try to pick him up and put him in the dirty clothes and he's like no no i'm going to wear those again i do i was like then why are they watered up in a ball in their nasty underwear that you've worn for three days and he's like no no they're good i'm just like no quarantine you've got to adapt okay you know no one's as much laundry you've got it in the past four years oh sorry Andrew I don't know what to believe there I was trying to save you you guys are the same person yeah so vice versa well and that's the thing is like I totally agree with Ellie and that's something like

I am working on and I'm trying to and I've been working on it for 10 years yeah gosh which one do I choose um no judge me here ellie will smack ellie will eat chips with her mouth open and it drives me crazy microphone and do some asmr maybe no i'm kidding right here she'll do it yeah see that doesn't bother me you like it you're into it is so annoyed with me when i eat the reason why i taste so good and i'm so hungry we'll just close nothing to it um The reason I get so annoyed is because if I make a sound, Jared, stop it. That's so annoying. Like I had a burp.

I had a tiny little burp. And I held it in, and you know how you like kind of burp through your chest? She got so upset at me. And I was like, okay, I'm not holding anything bad. It's like, I can fart, but he can't. You know, it's like, it's like, don't annoy me with your stinky breath, but here, smell my morning breath. Yeah. I'm just really rude that way.

But here's the thing. And it was like, I love being able to wake up next to you. And like, I don't care if we have morning breath. I want to kiss your face. First thing I do when I wake up. Brush your teeth. I will. Yeah, see, I'm trying to be sweet and kind.

Morning. Stinky breath is hard sometimes. And maybe it's just because I have so much worse breath. I don't know. Okay. Wait, there's a part two to this question now. Okay. So reverse.

You have to go first now. What's the one thing you love the most? Yes. What's the one thing you love the most about it? Ellie. Oh, that's easy. Ellie is like the most hardworking person I know. She will have a task on her mind and she will not do anything else until that is done. She is so organized and efficient. Everything is laid out and perfect. And she just goes to work. She's very type A with that kind of stuff. So if she wants something done, it gets done. And I love that about her.

Okay, Ellie. I am so excited to hear what Ellie has to say. I'm going to sit back. What do you love the most honestly what i love most about jared is he doesn't hold a grudge he is he is well that like not just to me but like to people in general like you're trying to like get brownie points for you smacking on your food is what you're trying to do he is the nicest guy ever like he will remember your name if you meet him once three years ago and you see him again he'll be like oh my gosh elissa right and then she'll be so shocked that you remember her name. Like, Jared is just very, very kind, and he always wants to leave someone's presence, like, with a good experience.

It's like, you know, you leave an environment cleaner than you found it. He does that with people. Like, he just really wants people to feel good around him, and he always makes that happen. He just does. Like, if it's a family situation, if it's me and him situation, Like, he just makes life better. Aw.

Thanks, Ellie. Jared, I've listened to a couple of your podcasts, and you've mentioned that, you've mentioned a couple of Boy Scout references. Are you an Eagle Scout? I am an Eagle Scout. Let's go, boy. Yeah. Be prepared. That's right.

I love that. Are you an Eagle Scout too, then? Yeah, I am. Oh, that's cool. He's very, very proud of it. I don't remember my truth. You should be. That's amazing.

191, maybe was my troop number. I got to remember this. I don't know what that is I never had like the badges sewn on the sash or anything like that I was into scouts when I was younger but I never like had like the full garb or anything like that

my eagle court of honor was like super small and like not many people came it was kind of more of like a family thing but yeah I mean I'm a Eagle Scout and I've used it on applications and it's gotten me jobs in high school and stuff, so yes, I'm an Eagle Scout. That's exactly.

I mean, that's pretty much all it's good for. I can shoot a bone arrow pretty good. Yeah. There you go. Oh, so I was going to say that. So one thing that, like, totally surprised Ellie's family when we first got married was they're, like, super into clay pigeon shooting. Like, they'll go to the range and they'll shoot, and they're, like, you know, 12-gauge

shotguns are all about it. And, like, I've been around guns because of scouts and stuff. but I never had one myself. I didn't shoot a ton, but we would go out to the range and it was like, what, the first year we were married, we have every day before Thanksgiving,

we have like the turkey shoot, but it's just clay pigeons and stuff. And we went out there. We went out to the range, and I smoked everyone. I think I got like 23 out of 25. Everyone else got like 15, 16, 17. You're just lucky this year.

I smoked them. And I want to say it's because Scouts, but I think it's actually because, like, video games. But every year since, like, Jared usually wins. Yeah, I'll win. Which is really funny because my family all grew up with them and Jared didn't. And so they're like, huh.

You can get protein at home or a protein latte at Tim's. No powders, no blenders, no shakers. Starting at 17 grams per medium latte, Tim's new protein lattes, protein without all the work. I'm participating restaurants in Canada. A little bitter towards it. I was listening to your sex ed podcast. I forget what the exact title was.

I know. We didn't even know what to call it. It was like kids sex safety. Preparing kids for sexual safety or something like that. Yeah, I think so. Well, that's a good title. I was impressed with how eager you were to like just be very transparent and call the sexual parts, their anatomical names.

I am curious like for your younger kids, I'm sure you have control over what content they control, but it's like, it is this weird thing where sometimes I put out a video of like me, goofy with Sean, and I'm like, is this going to be weird for my kid to watch sometime? Not, I mean, this is like, this was a very safe podcast that you guys did, but I don't know if there's ever been that instance. Like, ah, maybe it'll be weird. No. I don't think it'll be really that weird because they, are living with those terms all of the time. I mean, they might think it's awkward hearing it directly from their parents, but I think because we have the conversations with them when it's

age appropriate for them, and that varies depending on kid. I think they'll be more open to having those conversations with us rather than feel awkward about hearing those conversations that we've had previously. Do you agree? Yeah, or were you talking about like, is there anything else that you've filmed that you're or we talk about specifically that podcast oh no we don't have to talk about that i don't know i i think that like whatever we filmed like we're comfortable yeah i mean with them seeing i can't remember every single thing that we've ever done but i think for the most part we've been you know safe with that kind of i love how open ellie you are just with the even just the concept i feel like there's been a theme from the beginning when you talk

about open you love being and sharing and how you're trying to now pass that on to your kids I love that I I kind of had a similar upbringing from parents from what you referenced earlier of like they didn't prepare I had a very like everything was taboo you just kind of you just kind of knew it or figured it out and I want that with my kids of just being so open to conversation that nothing feels taboo or awkward because they want to know about it, they're curious about it, fine, let's talk about it. I think that's a beautiful thing to do with kids. Absolutely.

I find it interesting now because, you know, I mentioned this in our podcast. I never, ever would want to, like, throw any of our parents under the bus. And they know that, but it definitely was a kind of a taboo thing. And it's now it's not. Like now my parents are very open and they're comfortable, but that's because in my opinion all of their kids have been very open and they are seeing that we're open and they're like adapting and they're like oh yeah this is great but it took all of the

kids being a little bit more open for them to like be comfortable especially like after marriage too yeah and i think it's a generational thing i use my yeah i use my dad as an example because he he is very uncomfortable talking about that kind of stuff but he never he never heard that from his dad at all so growing up that was his experience is like you don't talk you don't say you know that kind of thing so i got a little bit more than he did because i'm sure he had questions that he didn't feel comfortable asking his dad most of my questions went to my mom instead of my dad because of that and she was so good to always answer she was really really good yeah i think even like go ahead even like a month ago or two months ago Jared had brought something up to his dad

like I was talking about like condoms and like birth control and Jared's dad went oh I'm not talking about this with you and Jared's like dad I have three kids yeah I have sex I would like to know did you and mom use condoms or birth control like I'm curious like what preventative measures did you guys like I it's like Jared's like I need to know like Ellie and I are going through something like I would I'm curious on like what you did so I like opened up I opened up my scroll and I was like here is the sexual safety that we have used in the past 10 years of our marriage he wouldn't answer him that's amazing it was disappointing like it's funny but like Jared was like he got off the phone and he's like I'm a 30 year old man and like I have three kids and my dad

still won't tell me if he used condoms or not like I have a question you know Maybe it's because they just didn't have condoms back then. They did have like. They had, yeah, they had stuff. Is something to about the generational difference of there's so much information just shared every single day across every platform in the world that people are now finding things out without having to ask. And I would almost want to be more open now and have our kids come to the source rather than

going and finding everything out via. social media because you want your kids finding it out from you your yeah as the parents rather than you know the fifth grader and yeah or even like yeah i mean yeah i have like so much stuff in my head that i'm like that um that like they're it's not that like if they it's like they're going to find that out right they're going to see it their friends are going have phones even if they don't like they will see more stuff because I mean already like I've had a show on before and I'm like oh my gosh like Jackson's in the room like oh like it's like it has to come from me because they're going to see it they're going to hear it no matter what and I want my

kids to know that mom was always comfortable enough to tell me or they won't feel awkward you know if they see something or hear something because they know they can talk to me right I mean just the other day Jackson came into the room it was like after bedtime he came up and we had the show on pause it was a fine show it was clean but the word I think it was the office and in the subtitles it said it said sex and he was reading it Jackson can read and so we were like oh and I was like Jackson get out and he was reading it and he was still reading it and I'm like gosh why can you read already so it's like even instances like that's like okay well you know obviously he's probably read the word before somewhere, but we want the information about the word to come from us rather than the

office. Might not be the best example of a sex talk. Michael Scott might not be the guy. Okay. I really like the approach that you guys have to life. I'm curious, this is a show all about relationships, marriage, dating, the whole thing. What is the best piece of- We've done all of those things.

Bank more oncores when you switch to a Scotia Bank banking package. Learn more at scotiabank.com slash banking packages. Conditions apply. Scotia Bank, you're richer than you think. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. We're the worst. They're never going to invite us on their podcast.

No, I love it. I could literally talk to you guys all day. What is the best piece of relationship or dating advice? Maybe it's marriage advice that you've either. either been given or you would give someone else. Oh, you're pointing to me like, I know what I'm talking about. Totally, because you, it was Jared's brother-in-law

gave this advice to Jared before we got married. Yeah. And we use it. I mean, even this morning, we had a little argument. And, like, we talked it through, we figured it out, and it stems for this advice helps. It comes from selflessness. I don't think, selfishness has a big place in marriage at all.

If you can be completely selfless, both people, if they can be completely selfless, where you're giving everything you have to someone else, you only have room to receive. So you're constantly taking care of your spouse. You're doing stuff for your spouse, and they're doing stuff for you. I feel like that's very harmonious.

Obviously, you know, there's things that you have to take care of yourself with. You need your own time and space. Yeah, exactly. And hobbies. But if you're taking care of your spouse and your spouse is taking care of you, I think that's great. One thing that I've learned and have definitely seen in the past couple of years is as simple as just communication. Being able to talk to your spouse and work something out where you're taking the emotion out of the argument and just and seeing both sides of the table helps compromise come quicker. And I hate more than anything going to bed with an argument.

we I can't stand it so I we try to make sure that arguments conflict is resolved before bed so it doesn't linger on through through the night I never want to go to bed without Ellie so it's like why would I not have that resolved so compromise it's easy for us to say that but we also know people that have a really hard time saying sorry and admitting that they're wrong or even saying hey, I see your side why you're mad, but I'm still mad because this is my side. Like, people have a hard time saying that. I don't know why, personally, Jared and I just seem to be able to be able to throw up all of our words and emotions and then we talk it out and then we move on.

But that isn't everyone. I think that that can be really hard for people. I think it comes back down to when I was on the hospital bed in my grandma's house for three months is we just talked. We communicated. And that's how we are able to handle things so well. And I think being able to put yourself in someone else's shoes. I mean, just today, Ellie, I put myself in her shoes and I apologized about something that we were arguing about. And, you know, she did the same for me. It was just as simple of recognizing the emotion that someone's going through, but taking the emotion out of that conversation to have the conversation in itself. Yeah. And being able to come to a resolution

that works out for both people. I think the next thing is we love to talk out scenarios. Yeah. Like that is like our jam. It's like, what do you do if we lose a job? Like we already know what we're going to do if like crap hits the fan. Or what are we going to do when our kids ask us about sex? Like we already knew that before it even happened.

We have answers to questions before the questions even come up. Because you know that's going to happen. I love that. I'm like the type that I want to talk it through. Yeah. I like you guys. Thanks. The biggest thing that we've taught our kids is, you know, our oldest is still little.

He's only six. But they know that mom and dad are a team because we say that. If Jackson comes to me and says, hey, can I have a candy bar? And I say no. And he goes to dad and says, hey, can I have a candy bar? And we find out that he did that. He manipulated us? Like, he knows that he's in trouble because we're a team.

And if my answer's no, dad's answers no. And time and time and time again, we will together talk to the kids and say, dad and I are team and this is what we say. Like, we are on the same page. And if we're not, we'll talk it out until we are. Yep. And I think that that's really good for kids to know that, like, mom and dad are together. Have you noticed any?

Oh, go ahead. Sometimes being on the same page doesn't mean, like, Does that always mean both of you are happy with what page that is? No, not necessarily. That's why I compromise. And I think that's where Jared's like selflessness thing comes in. I mean, for instance, do you want me to give you an example? I don't want to talk your ear off if you were done.

No, go for it. For instance, allowing your kids to have more independence and go on a bike ride. It's really scary to be like, oh, now my six year old is old enough to ride around multiple blocks. Like is that okay? Is that safe? Is that? And I remember Jared and I didn't have a fight, but had a discussion where it was he was like, yeah, no, like no. And I was like, no, he's old enough to do that. Like I trust him. He comes back. He won't go into people's homes. Like I've prepped him. What if someone pulls over and says, hey, watch your videos. Get in the car. Like your answer is always no. You know the safe houses because I've walked around the blocks with you and I've told you. You know, it's like I've prepped him. And so like Jared and I kind of had this hiccup and and Jared compromised by saying yes okay he can go on a bike ride but was that kind of me getting what I wanted yes because Jared compromised but there's also been situations where Jared's wanted something and I haven't and I'm like okay and like I've compromised with Jared I don't see it as like oh she won that argument like I don't see it like that I feel it's like

Jared, I needed to come to the realization that our kid was old enough to be able to do that because he has shown experience and I was just holding on to my baby Jackson a little too much and he proved himself like he went through all of the things and Ellie just realized that before I did and there's definitely you know two sides to that coin where I have you know wanted something or wanted to have something in my eyes that I thought you know we were ready for our kids were ready for and Ellie wasn't and it just took time to explain things and and compromise doesn't always mean you meet right in the middle and both parties are happy most of the time it does but sometimes it's you know it's like a what's what's spectrum a spectrum that's right accordion

accordion I play the accordion yeah yeah I love that um we were I want you guys to do some promo if you don't mind. Sean and I were actually just finishing the cover of our children's book called You Are and I know that you have a couple. No, no, no. Okay, what? I can't claim any of it. Andrew wrote a children's book for Drew.

Yeah. It's beautiful. You guys have done, I know. I'm excited to hear about how many have you guys written? So we've done a cookbook. We've done two children's books and Ellie is working on her book right now. That's amazing. My gosh.

What's your new book you're working on? I have hardly talked about it. Yeah, it's like super secret. It's just about like my experience, but it's not necessarily Ellie. Like anyone could read it. And it talks about like, you know, being a Christian and sex and struggles and infertility and relationships. It's like a practical, not a practical. It's a principle-based book surrounding basically womanhood.

that's amazing we can cut that out if you're not ready to show it's totally good it's no you're totally good i've talked about it a little bit forgive me if i mispronounce your loungeware line bolly that's right you have a new launch coming is that right um we just launched our spring collection where we have some dresses thanks and some fun loungeware thanks um i have to i have to say something about the loungeware. So loungeware is like their specialty. They have this pink lounge outfit that the shirt is made out of this material that I've never experienced before in my life.

It's like a cushiony butter. And I love just to put my face in it. And it's not because Ellie's wearing a shirt. I mean, that is a plus. But just the feeling, oh, Sean, we'll have to send it to you. Like it's so amazing. I'm excited. Yeah.

Prepare yourself, Andrew. Yeah. You'll want to put your face in it. I'll put my face right in it. Ellie, Jared, thank you so much for joining us today. If you listening want to learn more about them and everything they have going on, you can find their information in the show notes down below. And thanks for taking the time, guys.

Thank you so much. This is so fun.