Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew - 171 | swapping embarrassing stories with the Hopkins

Episode Date: July 19, 2023

Today we had an incredible and honest conversation with NFL kicker, Dustin Hopkins, and his wife Gabby! We chatted about how Gabby overcame her struggles with postpartum depression, how they keep their marriage strong through different seasons, the importance of faith in their lives and their new non-profit organization “The Well Foundation,” which was inspired by their son, Wake. The Hopkins are great friends of ours and we know by the end of this episode they’ll feel like friends of yours, too! To learn more about The Well Foundation, follow their Instagram HERE This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/EASTFAM and get on your way to being your best self. This episode is sponsored by Modern Fertility! ▶Go to ModernFertility.com/eastfam30. This is a limited time offer for $30 off! Love you guys! Shawn and Andrew  Follow My Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/ShawnJohnson Follow My Tik Tok ▶ https://www.tiktok.com/@shawnjohnson Like the Facebook page! ▶ https://www.facebook.com/ShawnJohnson Follow Andrew’s Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/AndrewDEast Andrew’s Tik Tok ▶ https://www.tiktok.com/@andrewdeast?lang=en Like the Facebook page! ▶ https://www.facebook.com/AndrewDEast This episode is sponsored by Better Help! ▶ Visit BetterHelp.com/EASTFAM today to get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Conjuring Last Rites. On September 5th. I come down here, I need you. Array! Array! Array! Array! Array!

The Conjuring, last rites. Only in theater September 5th. Whoa, if they use that snippet, that's what people hear. It's like, yeah, did you hear? So I went to the top of the stairs and I was like, Oh my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Open my eyes and Dustin's like a foot from me.

No. Don't twist this. It's like a plank position. And I was like, oh my God. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to a couple things. With Sean and Andrew. A podcast all about couples.

And the things they go through. Today was a lot of fun because it's some of our best friends, Gabby and Dustin Hopkins. We've been through a lot with this couple. A lot of pivotal moments in life. Yes, we first met Gabby and Dustin when Andrew was signed to what is now called the Washington Commanders. We lived in their basement. We very quickly became very close friends, learned everything about each other's lives, the struggles we've gone through.

Even since we met back in Washington, we've gone through so much. We've gone through two babies and a lot of like massive life transitions, all of which we talked through. And they've moved to Nashville, their neighbors. Yes.

We could walk to their house. Yes. We do often. And we love them. Dustin, I'm not going to lie. So football was not my natural habitat. I did not thrive in that environment. It was really a struggle for me.

and it was like, I don't want to say it was like dark times, but I just didn't have a lot of self-confidence in that realm. And Dustin kind of took me by the shoulder and led me along. I'm super thankful for our friendship with Dustin and Gabby. They have a lot of amazing stories, a lot of funny stories that you'll hear, how they met. Do you remember that one?

Oh, yeah. Stories with Sean and I. There will be a lot of giggles. But then they also talk about some of the projects they're working on, including the Well Foundation. and they're doing amazing work. So they have big hearts and we're here to support them in whatever way possible. So you want to find out more about Dustin and Gabby and what they're up to.

We'll link information down below, including a link to their Well Foundation. And we hope you enjoy this one with Dustin and Gabby Hoppkins. Dustin and Gabby, everybody. So a little background for our listeners. We've known the Hopkins for five years now, coming up on five years. When I signed with the Washington Redskins, formerly known, the Hopkins, first of all, you, like, took me home from practice that first day. I think we went to McDonald's. I crashed your date night. We got a, we got a frosty smoothie or, uh, that's where it took Gavin for date night, McDonald's. It's a low bar. We've come a long way. I've come a long way.

You have come on. Yeah, we've graduated from cheap to frugal. That's right. That's right. Sorry, Andrew. We were teammates. We had some great memories. Uh, you taught me ping pong. and sparked a passion in me that I didn't know that I had. But I flew out when you were playing, and we lived in your basement. Yep. So long history. It is a long history. And when we offered it, it was genuine, but I didn't think y'all would take us up on it.

Living in our basement. And you did. And I was like, this is sick. Finally, people that, like me, I feel like she's much more hesitant to take people up on offers. Where I'm like, ask me a question, Andrew. Hey, do you want to hang? That's how I am. It's like, where do I sign up?

So I was glad you did that. And I think it cultivated part of our friendship. What was funny, though, was maybe the second night, third night, we're living there. If you, like, walked down your basement steps, there was, like, the bed right there. And I was asleep. And it was, what, 5 a.m. And I literally wake up, like, open my eyes. And Dustin's, like, a foot.

from me. No. Don't twist this. It's like a plank position. And I was like, oh my God. What is happening? He had, you literally army crawled across the floor trying to wake up Andrew who was on the opposite side of the bed.

This is how I remember it. This is like zero shock to me. I just never know what's next to it. So we, we, I think we had set to leave at a certain time. Yeah. I'm waiting in my kitchen hanging out. I'm like a couple minutes go by past the time. I'm like,

Andrew will be, he'll be up in a second. A little more time passes. And I'm like, I don't want to be late. I was like, we're talking to NFL football practice. You didn't have to pay a fine. I didn't set an alarm. So, anyway. Trusted me way too much.

And she had to wake me up. Oh, my gosh. So I went to the top of the stairs and I was like, Hatch out. Because I was like, loud enough for maybe you hear, but John doesn't wake. I don't know. And hatch out. Nothing.

So then I, I, I tip down the steps and I see it was like the bed we had down there for you all was like college style. It's just a mattress on the floor. It really wasn't even set up yet. Like we didn't have our basement set up yet. It was a finished basement but there was not. It was very nice. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Too kind. That's generous. And then I did in fact army crawl. Yes. But the way I remember it is Andrew was on my side. No. Because I didn't want to stand up. I didn't want to stand up because I thought if she wakes up and I'm just standing over the bed like some dark figure it's like what's going on where if i army crawl i thought i could just i could intercept

i could get to andrew without you ever seeing me and that's and i don't know why i remember myself on that side because i feel like i woke up and you were the first thing oh no think it was it was your husband the first thing we didn't make it our series of first impressions with the hopkins were not very great but like the first time i saw you right The first time I saw Andrew, I guess, I'm assuming you're fresh off a plane. Yes. Probably. And you're probably, one of those things, you've probably talked about this on this show before,

but you don't know how long you're going to stay somewhere when you get called out for a tryout. So you're probably packing things of like, hey, I need to pack for this weather and this weather because who knows what it's going to be like in three weeks or however long. Maybe that was just my fashion. What I was wearing. Bless you if it was. You've come a long way. Sean's got a whole deal, straightened you up.

But the first time I see Andrew, it's in the training room, and he's wearing, like, a T-shirt, and for the argument's sake, cargo pants with, like, Air Force's in a trench coat. It pretty much was, yeah. And, like, it was, like, a mix of Keanu Reeves and a professional tennis player or something. He had long-hair, yeah, this was long-hair, Andrew at the time.

And usually I can get a good beat on people but for some reason this first impression i was like what am i going to get out of this guy i was like he's a snapper but i have no read for if i'm going to like this guy if i'm not if i'm what's going what's going on with this gentleman have you made up your mind yet the jury still and fortunately now our neighbors yes so how fun is that see you our kiddos we've all got to watch each other have kids which is wild and that's that's pretty cool we've done some life But to dive in, why we really wanted you on the show, because we love you guys. I think your relationship is amazing, truly.

Everything that you guys have gone through with the NFL, your marriage, dating, bouncing around with your sudden wake. I think you guys are just like a huge testament of faith. And I love the dynamic between you guys. I think it's amazing. So I want to start by saying, how did you guys meet? All right, which... Where do we start? Where do we even begin?

Which story? Are we doing... When we first, when we first met the first night. Are we given the, like, the real version? Yeah, yeah, but what's happening right now? There's two versions. One that we're talking to... For certain people, a certain audience, and then another is a little bit more tame.

It's an adult audience, yeah. I can tell you, we... We've already said the word scrotum on this. No. Well, I thought that was pretty sure. I didn't know we were going to do it. We have come. We've discovered every single genre of like PG, PG-13 R and X on this show with certain guests.

We're not at R. We're not at R. Maybe a little X. Oh, my God. No, I'm just kidding. It's not. We're having to stare at all right. I'm just waiting for you guys to take the next movie. I guess we'll start.

You know, so I was, I was on the dance team at Florida State, Golden Girl, Go Nose. Dustin was obviously on the football team. And it was, it was late in the year. It was a break, a Christmas break of some sort, so all the athletes usually have to stay in town. And I didn't go out in college. I kind of got all that out in high school. So a bunch of the girls on the team dragged me out, and they're like, we're going out. So I was like, oh, okay.

So we go out and it's just super crowded, and my teammate came up to me, and she was like, oh, I'm going to this Florida State football player's house. Like, and I said, no, you're not. You're not going alone. Give me the address. I'm coming with you. Gave it to another girl and said, if we don't call you in an hour, you need to come together. Hey, this is really smart. Take notes.

Yeah, I kind of went into mom of bare mode. Yeah. So I go with her and I show up and it's some harmless looking dudes on the football team. I was like I don't really know what I was wearing. Looking like male genitalia with buzz heads. I hadn't buzzed my hair. No, at the time. Oh, he had flow.

It coming out of that hat. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So at the time, I didn't know how. Not quite yours at your height, but. Yeah, he had some close. At the time, I didn't know, but I was roofied that night. What?

Yeah. Not by me. Not by me. For clarity save. By a friend of a friend. And he was later arrested. And that's kind of how we know. No, he's not a friend of a friend.

He's not a friend of anybody. He was. By an acquaintance of someone else in them. Anyway. So a lot of that night, I don't really remember. But what I do remember is someone asked me, hey, isn't your boyfriend the kicker at Virginia? And I said, yeah, he's better than you. I literally spoke those words.

And I'm like- Well, I didn't ask that. So it must have been, he's better than him. But anyway. I know what you're going. I don't have a thing for kickers. Every time we're watching TV, somebody makes a kick at any level. And I'm like, babe, I'm going to get my act together.

I'm going to make kicks. Don't be distracted by these other. guys strong legs it was my high school boyfriend and he started out as a soccer player so when we were dating he was a soccer player so wow i stand by that okay there's a lot of correlation so yeah okay i'll never live it down but you you can take it so you try you started tommy smack yes that's all i remember from that night to be honest um so so i'm hanging out with the buddy we left we went home it was not we're hanging out with buddy and it's a bunch of guys from the team and we're all hanging out, and we've been there for several hours, just not doing much.

And all of a sudden, one of them says, hey, I've been kind of talking to a girl on the dance team. Should I call her and see if they bring some friends over? And we're like, yeah, what have we been doing for the last two hours? That's usually the opener. Yeah. You know, so that's when he made that call and they came over. Yeah. And that first night, it's funny, neither of us say that we jive with the other person.

Yeah, I was like, he's really cocky. Like, what's that guy's deal? It's because she was drug. She doesn't know what she's talking about. Here we go. I was like, I wasn't feeling her, I guess, maybe for the same reason. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know.

So then a couple nights later, we all go out again, oddly. We see him. It's super crowded. He comes up to us and he's like, you guys want to get out of here? And we're like, yeah, we all want to get out of here. And he goes, do you have a car? And we're like, no. So we pile, six of us pile into his little Mustang.

And you thought you were. At that point, it was like, we're driving down the road. I'm in like a two-door Mustang, and there's, you know, five of you all packed in the car and I'm like, this is college. You know, you, you, like, this is what they sign up for. This should be on the brochure for recruiting. So we get to their destination. It's like an underground.

Oh. You go. You got it. The Mustang yet, Gabby. Oh, yeah. He's still, he's still remembering that high. No, so we get to this place called the Lower Lounge, just one of those grungy, nasty, like underground.

Everyone smells like beer. There's bar tar on the floor. It was just like, what am I even doing here? And he asked if I wanted to dance. And I was like, here is time was later. This was later. This was another time. But anyway, fast forward to that time.

Okay. Fast forward. Timeline shifts slightly for the first time I asked you to dance. Oh, yeah. And then you tell it when you're like, this way, you're like, you seemed harmless. Oh, yeah, he seemed harmless. And, like, I didn't really like him.

I thought he was really cocky. But I was like, I really do like to dance. Like, he seems harmless. Sure, I'll dance with him. Dangerous. So, we dance. And I'm at a stage. I don't know if, Andrew, maybe you can speak to this.

Y'all won't be able to speak to this. There was a stage in my life, probably middle school when dirty dancing first gets introduced. And a trick of the trade was you would wear, like, sliders. sliders or bike shorts or whatever compression shorts in order for dance and pants yeah some good old dancing pants bring out your dancing pants you got to keep it all you got to keep it organized yeah oh my god you got under wraps even better yeah under wraps and so uh I thought I was past that stage I was like I don't I don't wear those anymore because I can control I can control that I'm a grown man so we anyway I

and buy her to dance and we start dancing and uh get a little get a little blood flow and we'll leave it there so so we're dancing and and at first you're trying to like stay close enough to where there's no separation because if separation occurs then then a quick a quick stabbing could occur and there's no there's no hiding there's no hiding there's no Quite a few stabs. Let's just quit it. Like, I mean, I'm getting just, like, hammered in the back. Whoa.

If they use that snippet, that's what people hear. It's like, yeah, did you hear? First time they met. I'm going to allow my wife to rephrase what just was said. I mean, how do you refreeze it? Just. I felt his excitement hit me a few times. I don't know.

Yeah, yes, she did. No, anyway, so I'm sitting there like, I'm sitting there like, oh my gosh. And it's like, but there's no, like, I can't, I can't just scurry off mid-dance. Like, what do I do now? And in my mind, I'm like, wow, this is awkward. Like, how do I exit this situation? But also, like, well, it's awkward for me. It's got to be really awkward for him.

I mean, that's embarrassing. So we're all feeling that tension in the air. And, and so, you know, have you ever been in a situation in a bar or something? You're trying to have a conversation about the music so loud. You have to, like, yell whisper. So that's the scenario we're in with the loud music. So in order to break this tension up, I guess, and apologize for what's taking place, I lean down into her ear. He's like, behind me, like right here.

And I'm like, sorry about that. Sorry about that. Which I'm like, man, that's just, this is awkward. Even more awkward thing for him. So I was like, it's okay. It's kind of like a compliment, I guess. Thinking, like, okay, we can like, like, part and like exit the dance floor. Instead, Dustin just, all right.

And he just keeps going. I'm like, oh, she's like, well, it's kind of like compliment. I was like, well, let me compliment away. Oh, my gosh. In hindsight, you know, I guess it worked. In hindsight, you got married. Yeah. But what's funny about this is like, so shortly after we all walk to the McDonald's and

everyone's like, where's Dustin? And I was like, what? So I turn around. Sean's first reaction. Oh, no. And so we turn around and Dustin is helping up a homeless man and brings him into McDonald's and buys him a meal and goes, sits over separately with him. And that was when I was kind of like, okay, like he's different.

There needs to be more of that in the world. like maybe he's not this cocky, you sure wasn't the dancing? Weirdo kind of guy that I thought he was like he's really wonderful. I would like to get to know him some more. That was the same night. That is within a 10, 15 minutes man at each other. The dance and the dinner.

Complimenting me and then a homeless man at McDonald's. Yes. So that's. So me, car ride, gap in space, dance. That's, she became available. Yep. We had danced, but still weren't, we were just hanging. out as friends at that point yeah yeah we started going to the same bible study together um and started

seeing each other a lot what a dichotomy i know i know what we're talking about i didn't plan on the way the dance went but yeah but um yeah and then things kind of progressed and yeah here we are how long did you date before you get married we dated for about four four and a half years four years and the overlap of when did the NFL come into play the last year the last six months Once. Last year of dating. Yeah, last year of dating. I still had, they had changed my major at Florida State, so that put me behind graduating a little bit because I had to pick a new major. And you left for the 2013 draft. To go to Buffalo. Right. Yep. So we had some time apart at that point, and there was a, you wanted me to come move out to Buffalo. Or you wanted me to move to Dallas is what it was. And like set roots out in Texas. But I had some really amazing career opportunities in New York City and so I kind of told him. I was like, hey, listen, I'm not going to give up these amazing opportunities unless like, are we talking marriage? What are we talking? And he said, we'll be engaged by the end of the year. And I said, okay, I'll move your Texas. What were you going to do in New York? I had some really great opportunities with L Magazine and Vogue magazine. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. I was in fashion merchandising and product development.

Huge mistake. Yeah. This is what she got to sit. Was that a hard decision? When he came back and said, we'll be engaged by the end of the year. Was that still a hard decision of like? Easy decision. Yeah. And kudos to her. So I remember this is, I was praying about it at the time in Buffalo.

We were apart and we've been dating for quite some time. And out of respect for her and me, I was praying. I was like, Lord, if you don't want us to be together, then make it clear so that like she can go and live her life and I'm not wasting her time. and I'm not wasting my own by pursuing a relationship that's not like leading to marriage which was always my goal and so I'm praying about that

and around that same time I was hurt in Buffalo as well and I guess you say that I I wasn't myself on the phone I guess he just wasn't his you guys see him he's a very

animated kind of happy go with the flow kind of guy like super positive attitude all the time and I could just hear in his voice like you're almost dejected and you're just kind of like man like I you were having a hard time and I could I could feel that and hear that and it's one of those things like I don't even think I recognized it really at the time but like it's awesome having people you love around that can recognize that stuff but uh she got me a gift as I was praying

about that and the gift was not that nothing against iPads or whatever but it wasn't like some gift that you could spend a good amount of money on and give which is awesome but she had called like all my closest friends and family and had them write like letters of encouragement to me and she like put it in a binder and sent it and I remember it was the first time I think I'd cried over a gift I was like sitting there yeah I'm surely I've told you that but yeah so as the first time I was cried over a gift and I remember being like this is the kind of wife I would love to have in my life it's like that see that sees you for who you are enough to like recognize when you need encouragement and when you might need a you know a kick in

the butt or whatever but they can see both and then support you in a way that is a beneficial for for both parties but especially um when you're kind of down in the dumps yeah so it was really cool uh i don't know it's solidified to me as i was praying over that i was like this is this is my future wife. Wow. How'd you propose? So I had reached out to a really good, or this is, I was not going to say this, but I think, I don't think Candy would mind.

So the Fishers, Jimbo and Trey and Ethan, they're, they're in, in Candy, they've been affected by a disease called Fanconi Anemia. It's like, it's a blood disorder. and they had started a foundation. And so through that foundation, we'd done stuff with them, and our football team did a really cool thing where, like, I think it's called be the match,

I think, where they, you know, you have to... Sheik swabs for bone marrow donors. Yeah, do bone marrow donations and stuff. If you find somebody, it's apparently very difficult to find a match. But they had started that, so I reached out to her, and I was like, hey, I don't know if you're okay with this or if you're comfortable with this at all, but I need to get Gabby somewhere where she's dressed up

because I know she wants pictures. That's a discussion. She had dropped some hints. I was like, I don't want to mess that up. So I know she needed to be dressed up, but I didn't know a way to do it where she wouldn't be tipped off. So Candy was awesome. And she like had a flyer made up of like a fake fundraiser for this.

And so I contacted Courtney. one of your best friends and a close friend of mine now as well but uh to like say hey like they want you as a representative from the dance team like for the school to be like you know say a couple things or i forgot how it was worded but you want to me to present candy with an award oh yeah there you go wow so uh she got dressed up it was supposed to be at the stadium and so and this is the night before my graduation oh wow so and dustin is supposed to be in buffalo Yeah, I was like, hey, I can't make it to the graduation. That was the whole narrative.

And so when she rounded the corner, I was standing on the 50-yard line of the stadium, but it was just empty. The lights were on. It was just me and her walking in. And it's also where he asked me to be his girlfriend, the four years prior. So as she's walking up, and then she looks, and we had my family and her family in the stands. Oh, my gosh. Like being like, yeah, hey.

Yeah. So that's how it happened. Did you know before you got to the stadium? No, I had no idea. Did you know in the stadium? That's freaking dope. Well, I remember we pulled up to the stadium and obviously all the lights are on, but I was like, man, for there to be an event going on, like, it's pretty quiet.

I was like, there's not a ton of cars. I was like, it's weird. So then we get into the tunnel and I'm like, it's really quiet. Like, are we really early? I thought we were late. And then I rounded the tunnel and then just saw him standing there. And I was like, oh, okay. Another piece of story I felt horrible.

My family, we were driving in for. from Texas the way I remember it. And we were late getting there for the event. Right? So we weren't late already, but we were like, man, things are tracking. We're late. We're not on schedule. And so we get to the hotel.

Her parents are at the hotel. They knew I was surprising her for graduation, but they didn't know why. Because her parents lived so far away, I did not want to ask for her dad's blessing over the phone. I want to do it in person. Oh, no. So I get there. We're at the hotel.

and it's like you greet everybody hey hey hey and i was like uh mr barrett can i talk to you for a second he's like yeah yeah and so um i like tell him how much i love gabby and like i want her to be family and then be family and uh he gives me like a speech that you can tell is like very heartfelt talking about how like when he had gabby like held her up and prayed over her and uh a number of a number of really you know loving things toward his daughter and at was like, like, that's amazing. We've got to go because it's happening right now. Are you okay with it?

Yeah. So as soon as he like gave me the go ahead, I was like, that is awesome. Like, thank you for sharing that with me. We're running late right now. We need to leave. We need to get everybody together. So I'm hearing all this on the back and I'm like, what if he had said no? Yeah.

And he's like, yeah, I was doing it anyway. No, no. Okay. All right. But I had a feel, I had a pretty good feeling that he was going to give me his blessing, but I just didn't want to do over the phone. And so it was quite rushed, and I still feel bad about it to this day. So then I tell her sisters and her mom, and I was like, same thing.

Great, but we got to be ready to go in 10 minutes. Like, go upstairs and do your thing. We got to roll. Go get ready. Yeah. I have a question to ask you, but not time enough to hear your answer. Okay, so just let's wrap it up. Yeah.

And then also, I forgot this, when I proposed, you remember what I said, you tell it. I remember he proposed. I hadn't even looked at the ring. He put it on and we're hugging or we're kissing or something. He goes, by the way, that rings not yours don't get attached to it and I'm like oh my gosh I was like what and then but then also just like it's like okay this is a very dustin thing like okay what's the deal here and so he got it as a loner like and so yeah

he's like we'll find one eventually I got somebody loaned it to me and so I wanted to be very upfront with after she said yes and she's looking at I was like by the way that is not yours don't get attached to it because I don't want to buy this one actually, because I don't want to pay for that. And I was like, it might look different. I'm not sure, but we'll figure this out. Yeah, yeah. Just, that's it.

And then we started talking to the family and the subject matter got shifted very quickly. Good, yeah. And here we are. So then engaged, how long? Six months. It was six months, yeah. We didn't want to wait until, because, I mean, football season, you have to kind of time things for the off season. And we weren't going to wait, like, a whole other, like, year and a half.

so we're like, yeah, we're doing this in six months. My poor dad, my sister got married about 38 or 40 days before us. Oh, yeah. Poor PB had to handle two weddings in that span of time, but we made it work. Tim's new scrambled egg loaded croissant, or is it croissant? No matter how you say it, start your day with freshly cracked scrambled eggs loaded on a buttery, flaky croissant. Try it with maple brown butter today at Tim's at participating restaurants in Canada for limited time. Summer's here, and you can now get almost anything you need for your sunny days delivered with Uber Eats.

What do we mean by almost? Well, you can't get a well-groom lawn delivered, but you can get a chicken parmesan delivered. A cabana? That's a no. But a banana, that's a yes. A nice tan, sorry, nope. But a box fan, happily yes. A day of sunshine? No. A box of fine wines? Yes. Uber Eats can definitely get you that. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol and select markets. Product availability may vary by Regency app for details. And then married three years before a little wake man. Was it three years?

Married in 2014. Wake was born in 2017. Yeah. So, yeah, about three years. If you don't mind me asking, how, do you want to share your pregnancy story? Sure, yeah, yeah. I'm pretty open about it. I did not have an easy pregnancy.

I didn't have an easy delivery. Even pre-pregnancy, I was told that I was told that I was. would probably not get pregnant naturally. I would probably have to do IVF, and even that may not work. So we were told that, but we weren't even really in the headspace of babies yet, so we're like, okay, we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

So fast forward, we go to Europe, and then we came back with a surprise positive pregnancy test, so that was a shock. But also amazing. But also amazing, yes. Blessing, amen. And, yeah, I guess I was kind of starting, starting that pregnancy, not really in a great headspace.

It had been a long few years of moving around a lot because of his profession. I was on three different teams in the first three years. It was just a lot. It's hard for anybody, but especially your spouse. Yeah, it's hard for the women to find community. The guys, they're thrust into a locker room and spend, you know, 12 hours a day with each other. And it's just harder. It's just harder for significant others to kind of get plugged in.

So we had done a lot of that. I was pretty unhealthy and I just I was honestly I was I was depressed. So starting off a pregnancy like that isn't isn't easy. And then anything little that could have gone wrong for pregnancy kind of happened to me. I also had a breast cancer scare. I had to have a wrist surgery and I had to be awake for it. She's a boss. Yeah, had carpal tunnel awake. Yeah. Like so bad that my OB and an ortho were like, no, we have to do this now kind of a thing. So that was fun. I was just really sick. I had super swelling. And the delivery was traumatic. I was told two weeks early that they were going to induce me. And, yeah, so I labored for like 28 hours, and he got stuck at 9 centimeters and tachycardic.

And I got a fever. And they ended up having to do like a semi-emergency C-section. So the way that the doctor put it to you was, That I got, I got hit by a bus twice. It's like, yeah, basically you almost, you almost had the baby one way, and then you had to have it completely the other way. Yeah, yeah. So it's like you got several things to recover from as you.

Yeah, and C-sections are no joke. They are no joke. Yeah, and I mean, we had some family dynamics happening, you know, during the labor and delivery also that I think just didn't help a lot of things. And literally during the labor? Yeah, yeah. It's like the most stressful. Not like in, not at the location, but just generally during that time.

Yeah, yeah. And so we, we had a lot of hardships surrounding Wake's birth. I had postpartum depression and anxiety pretty severely. I think I hit a lot of it from Dustin because I didn't want to be a burden. And I was, I was kind of told by someone that I was a burden and that I needed to figure it out. And that, that's hard to hear. a very, you're in your most vulnerable place, right? You just had a baby. Your hormones are everywhere. And being told that, you know, you kind of don't really matter and you're being

a burden to someone, that's kind of tough to hear. So I kind of started coming out. I think I told you two years ago, I actually, I was suicidal. I tried to end my life three times. And honestly, only by the grace of God that I'm sitting here right now. And, yeah, I only ever told you even that two years ago. And now I'm starting to be really open about it because I think it's important for young vulnerable moms. They're not alone. I mean, I felt that I was the only one going through it,

when in reality it touches almost everybody now to a degree. And Dustin, you were amazing through that process. I think... Sorry, you go ahead. I was just going to say, I think he knew something was up. Yeah, I knew she wasn't herself, but I was like, you ask questions and you try to support them, but to some degree you're like, I don't know what to do. Mm-hmm.

You know? Yeah, and I was just, I just was believing those lies that my brain was telling me that, you know, you're not good enough, you're not strong, you're weak, you know. I thought being medicated would be a failure somehow that would mean that I failed as a mom or that my faith was failing that I didn't have a good enough relationship with Jesus that he couldn't deliver me from this. And I was just believing all of those lies. And in retrospect, you know, it's so silly. But when you're in it and when you're in that darkness, it's so real and it's so heavy. And we were at a conference last week, PAO. It's, um,

pro athletes outreach and um they were we were worshipping there was a worship band up and all of a sudden i just it just hit me so hard last week and i just started crying and i leaned over to dustin and i was like i'm just so thankful that i'm here because i would have missed out on all of this i would have missed out on our son i would have missed out on such a beautiful life and the community that we've gained and just just life and I just kind of I looked in and I just started crying during worship last week and yeah I'd be curious to hear each of you talk about these like the depression and suicidal periods yeah one how do you view it now is it like that's behind me or something that you're always looking for like looking out for and then also what helped you through that period

like when it got bad i think i'm i'm definitely on the other side of that now like i don't have those thoughts anymore um i think it's something that i'm very conscious about moving forward and and now being able to connect certain thoughts and patterns that i have and stopping myself before i even get down that road um i'm also i take much better care of myself now i'm exercising i'm i'm watching what I'm eating like I'm eating clean foods instead of ultra-processed things kind of and I'm just I'm trying to get sleep I'm just trying to be overall healthier and I feel it's just so much better and then I think telling Dustin was huge for me that was that was a weight lifted um is there shame within that I mean of course of course there's shame but that's also the enemy feeding that to you

that that's a shameful thing when in reality it's not the shameful thing is keeping that in and and living that way because no one no one needs to do that ever there's always help whether that's your spouse a friend a therapist i mean there's nothing shameful about being so low that i mean it's it's a part of life but also a part of life is your community and not walking things alone um and honestly what got me through every time the three times times that I went to act out what I was going to act out, it's just a couple things stopped me. One was, I'm a burden now, but this is going to be a burden when I'm gone. Like, and I don't know why, but my, I was like, I just don't want to be a burden. I think that's also me being a

people pleaser, too. And two, I just had this sense of like, I can only, I can only, I was like, I can only i can only attribute it to being god in those moments of being like step away like no and and just not i it's just the grace of god to be honest yeah dustin i remember different scenario but i remember being in a similar situation with andrew not postpartum but this was like when we were early married trying to come clean with like eating disorders and like depression that i had and all these things that I felt very shameful for and I was so scared to tell him that I hit it for so long and tried to like manage it on my own receiving that as a husband what was your initial thought because I feel like as the person who went through it you're like you have this fear of like

oh they're just not going to understand or want to deal with it you don't want to be a burden yeah but I feel like hearing your perspective is so memory's not my strong suit but I'll try I'll try I'm best to take take myself back to that place. Well, I think initially I was just happy that she's telling me because if she's telling me

then I thought that was a step in the right direction. It's like, and it made you, or it makes me sad. It made me sad. It's like, and this is another lie at the time

in my, you hear to yourself when you hear that. It's like, man, you weren't doing enough to help. And that might be, there might be some truth in that.

Like, man, maybe I could have supported her in different ways now that might, eyes are open to that at the time they weren't but it was more believing like oh you didn't do enough to support her like you hear that for a second and then it's like you kind of snap out of it's like no it's it's like this is like she said circumstantially things happen where you get to dark places

you get to great places and this is just one of those times so i was just glad that she told me and that she wasn't alone anymore um just dealing dealing dealing with that all by herself because I think there were times when I knew like I said I knew stuff was wrong but I didn't know that to the extent that I was like hey should like should we go see somebody like like do you need to go see somebody alone me you want me there anything and it was more I felt if I remember correctly it was like no I'm fine like that kind of that kind of vibe so then at that you don't know how much is I don't know it's almost weird to like force somebody like you're going you know and yeah so i think those are some of the struggles of navigating

how do you do that when you see something is wrong but i think ultimately there is is a i don't know i guess there has to be a willingness of the person to walk with you in that and the person hearing this time being me being like just open to the fact that everyone is susceptible to that in the right circumstances regardless of how strong people think they may be you know yeah

did you have the self awareness like in the moment that you were suffering from like postpartum depression yeah did you feel like trapped within that that you couldn't very much so it's just it's a strange

it's a strange place to be in and it's almost out of body sometimes where it's like you know know this isn't me like but it's also this is my reality right now and how do I get out of that how do I get back to me when that's really not the mindset like in retrospect thinking about it it's like I didn't need to go back to who I was but I needed to grow into who I was like going to be and that was something that I had to go through and make it through and in retrospect I should have asked for help

I should have been medicated. There's no shame in any of those things. But in the moment, your brain's telling you differently. And if I had had maybe Dustin or some other friends that I had told in that moment, and for them to know the depths of where I was in that moment, I would have gotten the help that I needed. But I didn't because I felt shame. And in retrospect, I wasted four years of my life to darkness

when I could have been kind of. I'm sorry you went through that gaps I didn't know that yeah no it's it's definitely something I think we started being being a little more public with it maybe about a year year and a half ago just because a I've made it through I've learned a lot of things but I want I don't know I if someone can relate to what I'm saying and say like oh wow it's not just me like she went through that to you. If it's just one person that I can help with that, then I will scream it to the rooftops of what I went through. I think part of what you said earlier was like believing that, like part of the lie is you're all by yourself. You're all alone. So I think that's why in your communications

with me that you've been more open is just what you said. Like don't believe the lie that you're alone. Yeah. I remember about a year ago when you told me. And I didn't even know if this would be a topic talked about today but always looking for a storyline for your show no stop i'm joking i'm joking i'm joking it's not even on our sheet okay i'm joking the east are amazing they're amazing back paddling yeah well nash andrew yeah yeah jet and drew amazing but sorry cheese i remember being obviously sad because like we had known each other for a few years by then yeah and i was just i had had no clue but I also remember feeling seen for the first time just like we didn't go through the same things but we went through similar things where it was like I felt so lost and I've tried

so many times to explain it to Andrew and you're so supportive but it's this feeling of like you just I just can't I can't tell you how it feels to feel like you're trapped yes and I really thank you for talking about it because I feel like there's so many women and men but especially moms who go through this that feel so isolated yeah and like they're a burden and like they can't ask for help but I think we can show you there's two husbands two for two so far that are very supportive and people should ask for help more often I also since this top of mind we just got done speaking with the pastor who's really big on uh knowing your identity one you've personally blessed my life by blessing my wife

Drew every like loves the Hopkins we have this thing where we go we're going to Dustin's house and she's like Dustin no Gabby yeah we got all but you use this term like you felt like a burden and it's like well I don't want to be more of a burden even if I do this it's like it's a bit of identity right and anyway I I want to to read you some of these things because this is this is more the gabby that that i feel like i know you one you're you've been fearfully and wonderfully made gabby and you're a masterpiece because you've been made in the image of god even your weaknesses are like cracks in a clay pot through which god's light can shine through like so yeah talking about his strength is made evident in our weakness yes there you go

and then ephesian says we are god's masterpiece he created us a new so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago so anyway it's like you're not a burden your blessing and the more that you realize that you're a blessing the more you can be a blessing right so anyway I'm I'm excited and glad to have you guys here's neighbors but we're gonna have to bring you on for like part two part three part four five I'm looking at this clock I'm like wait's got to get picked up but tell us about wake please wake so wake will be six yes I cannot believe that I feel like I met him when he was two yeah he was itty-bitty yeah um Wake is on the autism spectrum.

He is non-speaking currently. He is the coolest little guy in the whole world. He's funny. He is so smart. He's sharp as attack. And he's a huge blessing to our life. And he inspired our nonprofit. And just him existing, purely existing, has now helped other families with special needs kids.

and adults and single moms with special needs kids have all been helped solely because Wake exists. So he's Drew's best friend. Drew lights up whenever he comes over. Oh my gosh. Well, he was grabbing his bathing suit yesterday at home. Like, let's go to the East house. He's a little chilly yesterday.

We didn't get it. And we're like, buddy, not today, not today. But yeah. Well, what a blessing you all have been? Because I think one way to help families with like kiddos on Yotson Specter with special needs in general is just be there and live life together

so y'all's ability to just like welcome us in and meet us where we are and meet Wake where he is yeah take Wake exactly how he is and well on the same subject of what we were just talking about wake is not a burden he's a blessing he is perfectly and wonderfully made also know that like we love

Love awake. He's not. And it's something that I noticed very early on with you guys. It's like you worked so hard to make sure that people don't feel burdened by you guys. And I think that one makes me so sad that the world has ever put you in that position, right? That anybody would ever make anybody feel like a burden. I don't know how to say it. So whenever you guys come over, whenever we're around you're like, stop.

Like let him jump and be loud and wild. and he's such a beautiful soul, and he's exactly what God made him, and he's just amazing. That's such a blessing. Honestly, just y'all's friendship and the community that even you've, you guys have been so generous with your,

even your social circle and your community, and just us meeting other people and connecting with other people and connecting with even some other families that have special needs kids, all because of just your generosity and your kindness and your compassion. And so thank you guys so much,

really truly you've enriched our lives and wake's lives and we love doing life with you guys starting from the mattress on the floor and the army crawl what the conversation is not over it is they had to get no no no no we got 245 yeah well we got we got we got some time we have four minutes because it will end up being longer than that tell us about the well foundation you mentioned the non-profit let's hear more about yes the well foundation we started a handful of years ago And at first it was kind of acting like a, almost like a donor advised fund of sorts where we just, we'd tie to that charity, our own charity, but give to IJM, International Justice Mission, Compassion International, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, and then Young Life were kind of the four that we were giving to. And then when we had Wake and all these things started develop, you go through, well, we realized how blessed we were in so many ways with the resource. we had at our disposal, whether that's team doctors who have connections to other doctors,

financially not being at a place where we're like trying to like, I don't know if we're going to pay for it, be able to pay for his therapy. It's so, but life was still very hard. Yeah. Like navigating all that to something that really doesn't have a, uh, a standard step by step. There's no guidebook to autism. Yeah, yeah. The saying is once you've met one kiddo on the spectrum, you've met one kiddo on the spectrum. Like there, there can be a wide array. of differences and abilities yeah yeah yeah so it's it's hard to navigate because you're just figuring out how does this work for our family how does this work for our child and so navigating that we realized how hard it was and that we'd want to help people that didn't have some of those

resources that we had and help them walk through that so like gabby mentioned earlier we've been able to help several families who are like maybe single single moms navigating that walking through that journey with special needs kiddo with mx platinum access to to exclusive Amex pre-sale tickets can score you a spot trackside. So being a fan for life turns into the trip of a lifetime. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Pre-sale tickets for future events subject to availability and varied by race. Terms and conditions apply.

Learn more at Amex.ca. slash Y-Amex. This episode is brought to you by Defender. With its 626 horsepower twin-turbo V8 engine, the Defender Octa is taking on the Dakar rally, the ultimate off-road challenge. Learn more at landrover.ca. How can we ease that burden financially?

And also how can we get people in touch with certain resources and therapies that otherwise wouldn't have a fighting chance to do so? So that's kind of what we're passionate about right now. Long term, we'd love to, I think, this is a number of years down the road, but do some form of trawousing. As good as state services are,

they only last so long. As parents, you're like, or what will his life be like when we die or like who's going to watch after him or what are these things? So just having a place where they can learn these life skills and be supported and hopefully come to a place where they can live life

on their own. We will link the Well Foundation. Yes. We also need to just say that you mentioned your opportunities with L Magazine and Vogue design. Gabby is a phenomenal photographer and is also responsible for this

space that you see right now. Yeah. I did do that. I did do that. You hung on those, so I'll give Dustin the credit. I had him hanged. I did that. Go check out Chargers versus Broncos, 2022. Dustin Hopkins, game winning. Post-game interview.

Freaking rock star, dude. What a legend. A kicker gets the prime time interviews. It actually was incredible. We love y'all. Cutting your ass. Dustin, you're welcome. And scene.