Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew - 173 | asking my husband vulnerable questions

Episode Date: August 2, 2023

In this episode we sat down and asked each other some vulnerable questions about pregnancy. We love doing this podcast because it creates a space for Andrew and I to have open conversations and learn more about each other while also getting to share them with all of you. We’re so glad you’re on this pregnancy journey with us. Let us know what other questions you would want us to answer :) Love you guys! Shawn and Andrew  This episode is brought to you by AG1! ▶ If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase. Go to https://www.drinkAG1.com/COUPLETHINGS. Check it out! Follow My Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/ShawnJohnson Follow My Tik Tok ▶ https://www.tiktok.com/@shawnjohnson Like the Facebook page! ▶ https://www.facebook.com/ShawnJohnson Follow Andrew’s Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/AndrewDEast Andrew’s Tik Tok ▶ https://www.tiktok.com/@andrewdeast?lang=en Like the Facebook page! ▶ https://www.facebook.com/AndrewDEast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you're with Amex Platinum, you get access to exclusive dining experiences and an annual travel credit. So the best tapas in town might be in a new town altogether. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Terms and conditions apply. Learn more at Amex.ca. i'm pregnant okay we can't ask these questions it freaks me out i think pregnancy gets scarier every time people say it gets easier i think it gets scarier because you like you know more and more oh my gosh how much

a miracle it is why am i crying that you're about me tear up what's up everybody welcome back to a couple things with sean and andrew a podcast all about couples and the things they go through i'm really excited about this episode. We don't know much about it. It is asking each other vulnerable questions about pregnancy, but I have a list of questions for you. You have a list of questions for me. This was an idea we sent to our producer because being pregnant is hard. And I'm not talking about like physically on the woman. Relationally, it's difficult. Although it also is physically difficult from my understanding. It is. But yes, it is relational difficult as well. Nobody talks about that.

Yes. I think the only thing, and I'm sorry, I'm just going to jump straight to this because it drives me crazy and I was talking to another girlfriend who's pregnant and another girlfriend who's pregnant about this. And their responses both were like, made me feel better. The only thing I feel like I hear about in regards to pregnancy and marriage is that people love having sex while pregnant. That's the only thing you hear about.

Like when it comes to a marriage, yeah. interesting that's the only thing i hear okay where do we go from here uh i'm excited to ask these questions lexie and jenny put these together scripted this out we have not seen these as sean said but i feel like since we've been pregnant a few times now we've seemingly asked each other everything there is to ask but i feel like uh maybe there might be some oddball questions in here and i'm excited because i don't know how you feel about this show, babe, this podcast. We're like 150 plus episodes in. Really? I feel like it has led to more intentional conversations. The feedback seems to have that effect on the people who listen.

They like will ask each other these questions. So that's prompt if you're listening and you're pregnant maybe. Maybe you as a couple could go through some of these questions as well. I also think something that I love about our podcast that I've like learned is like we posted a little highlight on Instagram the other day I have a clip from an interview and I was reading the comments and people were like oh they think they're so wise

they're only seven years in and honestly no I don't think we're wise at all and I think we're learning so much but one of the greatest gifts we have gotten from this show is we have had the opportunity

to talk to so many couples who are newlyweds dating 50 years into marriage psychologist, marriage counselors to where I feel like we have this huge rolodex of wisdom from people

they're like failures their lessons, they're all these things that it makes it really cool dealing with our marriage because I feel like we have so much so many tools to use. We have a lot of things to refer to you like I remember when Drew and L.A. said that

or remember when Brian and Sonia said that? Or remember when someone and so went through that just like we are and this is how they got through it. It's been really cool that way. The show does feel like a collective wisdom bucket of this topic, marriage and relationships. Counseling session every week.

For you and I. Let's go ahead jump into this. You want to alternate? Yeah, I'll go first. Andrew, Dean East, father of our children. Yes. What makes you nervous that you maybe haven't shared with me before?

about my pregnancies or giving birth. Honestly, the idea, we've had friends who have had really close calls in the burden process. Very traumatic births. Like, they almost died, the mom did. That thought, like, doesn't usually cross my mind, but as we've been hearing more and more stories,

I'm like, dang. It's all kind of fun and games thinking about, oh there's a kid and like you're I'm nervous what is it going to be like to hold the baby how are the kids but it's like no that would be a huge life shift right should something go poorly in that realm also I think when we had our two vessel cord issue I just realized how intricate the whole process is and how many things can go wrong and so it's just humbling, you know, of like, dang, I can't do, what can we do? Make sure you go to your doctor's appointments and I go with you to most of them. But other than that, it's out of control. Eat healthy? I mean, whatever. Also, I love how you do pregnancy. You live life full tilt still. You're really, like, thoughtful, but you don't really, you're not a super cautious person, which I'm thankful for.

I remember when you did, we were at Nadia Cummini, she did the backflip when you were pregnant. Or when you broke your toe, pregnant. Petting a puppy? I was, I think one thing that makes me nervous is like,

dang, what if there was actually like a car accident? Yeah. And you or the bump got, you know, hurt. And there's high impact. I don't think about it often, but those are some Those are some thoughts that we actually never really talk about.

I know you say you're scared. I don't know if you've fully voiced like through, you know, as we're giving birth or walking into the hospital, you're like, I'm nervous. Yeah. We haven't really broken that down fully, but those are some of my thoughts. Thank you for sharing. That's actually a question we've never talked about. Yeah. And something we've never voiced.

I think I voiced it to you on a podcast a couple, a couple podcasts ago. how I say the same prayer in birth. I mean, I've only given birth twice. But I remember saying this prayer on the operating table with Drew and repeating it with Jet, which was, God, I just pray that you bring this baby into this world safely. And, like, they get a chance to be a part of our world.

And if you don't mind, can you help me stick around to be a part of it too? And I think that's just me, like admitting the same thing that you just admitted like I know give it like birth has been around since the beginning of time but it is scary and yeah I would say my fear of mine is not making it through birth it's pretty wild with how regular of a thing birth is and how many tools and gadgets we have nowadays that people still have that experience you know um sorry one thing that i've been learning about as athletes we we talk about visualization all the time like visualize

what outcome you want visualize what that feels like to stand on the podium or to to win or to have a successful play there's uh this idea of stoicism or philosophy of stoicism that i've been learning about i think there's a lot of overlap with christianity sidebar but they have this concept of negative visualization. So imagining your life without something with the goal being you appreciate that thing more. And as sad as that is, I think maybe I might do that. Like, dang. No.

It helps you live every day. If I wake up and spend 30 seconds thinking about what would my life be like without Sean? Just 30 seconds. It helps me appreciate you more. I feel like the secret, as in the book, in the movie, would say nothing good will come of that. No, there's several good things. But we could talk about that after. Negative visualization.

You don't like it. My reality, I live in a world where my brain naturally goes to all of those situations. So I actively have to work towards not thinking about them. But, like, I think part of my innate motherly side is, like, what could go wrong? what could I possibly have to deal with like but okay so don't channel that into worry channel that into just considering what what could go wrong and allowing that to prepare you for it you know what I'm saying I don't know why don't want to prepare for that okay all right moving on from negative visualization Sean how have we learned to communicate better in this specific

pregnancy. Hmm. I feel like we've learned to communicate better in this pregnancy through the other ones. I feel like in our first pregnancy, I didn't know what I needed, you didn't know what I needed, we'd never really been through a full pregnancy before. So it wasn't until after the fact when we got pregnant with Jet, we reflected on Drew's pregnancy, and we were like, how could that have gone better? and we were like

do you need to take more time off of work do we do I need a different type of doctor like we went through the whole list and then now being the third kid I feel like we've been able to reflect now on two full term pregnancies where it's like

how can we relate and reflect on both what did we do good what did we do bad what could we improve on and I feel like you and I have had just very matter of fact transparent conversations on like this doesn't work and this does and I think some of the stuff that we've found is I tend to overwork when I'm pregnant like I tend to feel I continue life as if nothing has changed and I feel sick and I'm really tired and my patience my bandwidth is not as great so I either snap or break too much so like how can we reduce my bandwidth a little bit

during this pregnancy to make it so that doesn't happen. Dang, yeah. And then I think we have learned firsthand with communication that in both pregnancies, I don't take care of myself very well as far as like proactively stretching, seeing chiropractors, taking prenatals, doing things so that by the end of my pregnancies where I have very large children, I'm not miserably in pain. Like an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

Yeah. Sean is definitely the person to put someone else's oxygen mask on before her own, you know, in the airline. Yeah, which is funny you say that because every time I fly with my kids and the flight attendant comes over, the intercom and they say that, I'm like, you're out of your mind. I will be putting my kids' masks on first. Nice. Before I ever attempt to my own. I feel like because, yes, we have two pregnancies to benchmark against and to reference and also other life circumstances, I feel more your teammate today now and over the past, like growing over the past couple months than I ever have. And I love it.

I freaking love having you as a teammate. Freaking love having you a teammate. And I think it's worth saying, we're not going to go into details. but we have referenced lately in a lot of podcasts there's been a lot of hardship that has kind of surrounded our life not our life in particular but a lot of friends are just going through stuff very dark valleys a lot of family members are going through very dark valleys and it has challenged us to be better people is challenged us to be more supportive with our circles

more integrated and what integrated it is it's literally what we've been doing and it has made us a stronger couple because it has forced us to have a lot of very very hard conversations can I tell a story real quick we had game night the other night which is great and Jared he came up to me he was like do you remember the first time that Sean and I competed against each other. Which is funny. And I was like, no. But apparently I had to apologize to Jared on your behalf because there was this game

of mega jenga going on. And Jared bumped the table. The jenga tower fell over. And Sean was really upset. And I love, like, I think historically, previously I was like bashful or in some ways like embarrassed on your behalf, which seems so dumb. I know. I'm just being honest.

I'm just being honest with certain things, right? But now I look at that, I'm like, I forget, yeah, Sean's competitive is all get out. I love it. I mean, let's see Jared. Did you accidentally bump it on purpose, knowing Jared? But you get my point. I used to, there was like, I was trying to fit you into a certain mold when I really just needed to let you do your thing. And I did the same exact thing with you.

I mean, I'm sure there's still things we do that with, but I've more tried to just embrace who Sean is and love it. Yeah. Because what, like, I'm ultimately not. What can I change? And right back at you. I've done the same thing. Bood-a-bop. Okay.

At this rate, we're not going to make it through this question. Five-hour podcast. Uh, baby. Yes. Do you wish more people talked about all the shifts that come with being a dad? No. No. I, I think probably you can talk too much about pregnancy.

Maybe we do. I hope we talk about it meaningfully. but like at some point you're you you you won't understand the words yeah you have to go through the experience I agree so I think like it's that reflective side right yeah yeah no it's all about reflecting I agree so you can preach only so much before people go through it and then come back to all this you're like yeah but let me revise my answer a little bit I do think as I've had conversations with more people here in Nashville, there is a lack of community with everyone really,

but male specifically. And I'm like, yeah, in that realm of having community that you can talk to if you need to, like, dude, this bad thing isn't when I thought or I'm going through a hard time. Yes, I think there should be a stronger form of male community. But that's a whole other topic. You ready for your second question? Sean, are there any areas you feel like you're struggling with

and your pregnancy this time around. Yes. I have been very open about this with my first pregnancy. Didn't talk about it too much with Jets pregnancy, but I didn't feel like I went through it. So I have a history of eating disorders and like body image issues and all these things. And I was really scared going into my first pregnancy

how that would affect it. My first pregnancy, I was very grateful. It almost, like, for a lack of a better word, cured it for a while. I don't know how to say that. I felt the same way with Jett's pregnancy. This one has been... Well, let me explain it. Sean felt like her body had purpose.

Yeah. And so it was less about her and her body and more about what her body is doing for the kids. Yes. Is that right? Yes. And I felt that through the whole pregnancy with both Drew and Jett. I'd say I've struggled with it a little bit this time. Really?

Yeah. And I don't mean that in like an insecure way. There have been times where I've had like vanity thoughts of like how is my body changing this much, this fast with a third. I can definitely tell the third pregnancy is just different. It just happens different. Your body's gone through the motions. Your body has taken a beating twice already. So now it's going through a third time. So things are just changing and I don't have as much time to like work out and take care of myself. My body's just. changing. And I think I've noticed that a little bit differently in my mind. Not bad yet where like I should get back with a psychologist or nutritionist. It's all very manageable. But I have noticed little thoughts here and there where I'm like, that's

an unnecessary thought to have. Can I share something I've noticed? Yeah. How beautiful you are and how much I love you. I was like, where's going? I know. Thank you, baby. Thank you. your eyes adorable and shakshi now as you've ever been

I think I mean that thank you thank you and I don't mean to deflect that thank you and I will add I think one of the main reasons for that is after two C-sections and two births I felt like my body

had a lot of healing to do and that has nothing to do with body image that was like I just didn't feel strong I feel like I needed to rehab my core and right before we got pregnant I had just started to feel like I had that under control again I was healing my body so beautifully and then I got pregnant again I was like oh no so it's gonna be but also very excited I love you I love you Andrew yes um safe space here i mean that how would you say i've been emotionally in this pregnancy

emotionally you've been pretty good first trimester was tough yeah that was probably the worst one yet i think we did a full youtube video on it you can go check out uh on the first trimester debrief i think because of your awareness of like i need to go take a nap we've had less conflict which i really I also like I'm here to help dude so I hope you've realized that over the past couple pregnancies so like I'm not I'm not I know I do some things that annoy you or that are not helpful but I intend to help you I know so just ask or like communicate I need to go take a nap I need food I need to take 10 minutes by myself for peace and quiet I'm happy to accommodate I will agree first trimester this pregnancy has been the work not I don't mean that like emotionally but it it was the worst first trimester I was very sick I felt horrible life was throwing us some wild curve balls that we were dealing with on top of everything else so yeah thanks for sticking with it but I agree this one has been a little bit different in the sense of like two days ago I was like today is a really bad pregnancy day I feel terrible And, like, if I can, now that I reflectively can say that, Andrew's like, cool, go sleep. Sean used to know that it was a really bad pregnancy day, but not tell me until, like, the end of the day. And then she'll be like, it's been a really, it's been a bad pregnancy day.

It's like, you should have told me that at 7 a.m. this morning, br-ha. I will say, there's, there is a stigma around pregnancy that women can tend to fear they've fallen into, which is, like, the complaining pregnant woman. people talk about it they make memes and gifts about it gifs whatever it's about comedy skits but like there's so much going on

with your body that some women deal with pregnancy harder than others and I think in my mind I don't ever want to show weakness something that I should work through so I'm like just tough it out and at the end of the day I'm like actually that was a hard day

whereas now I'm trying to reverse that but you can say hey can I take five minutes and not have to I get like you're not fooling anybody it's not you're either going to verbally complain or your body language will communicate that so it's can I take five minutes is a good workaround to that third question what has worried you the most about this pregnancy so far we're getting really honest guys uh what has worried me the most this that I just can't get over that I try to push away

we haven't talked about any of this this is wild um because I think we lost two pregnancies in trying for this one because we have had two miracle children who are amazing we've gotten through

two C-sections birds all of it we got through the two vessel cord in the back of my mind I'm like there's no way we can have a third wow and it's just like this doomsday thought of we've gotten too lucky

yeah that is doomsday dude I know crazier things have happened I know then we need to move on you okay yeah I don't like thinking about that what I know I'm pregnant okay we can't ask these questions Jenny

it freaks me I think pregnancy gets scarier every time. People say it gets easier. I think it gets scarier because you know more and more. Oh, my gosh. How much from a miracle it is. Why am I crying? That ain't about me tear up, man.

Andrew. What are we doing here? How would you say I've been handling the topic of body image with this pregnancy. Uh, good. I think you've been honest with me. Which, what more can you ask? You know? Mm-hmm. Are you okay? I'm good. I'm just pregnant. You're cute. It's going to be okay.

I know. Yeah, I think you've been honest. Does that suffice as an answer? Sean, how does it make you feel when other women talk about themselves negatively during pregnancy? Oh, it makes me really sad. I relate to it, I understand it, but it's so much easier to not, to be the outside person looking in and understand, like, that woman's going through so much. If only she could see the beauty of it. like it's easier to preach than practice yeah yeah that makes me sad it's a long process too so there's a lot of days and moments to talk we're only halfway how okay Andrew do you feel

pressure when you think of adding another baby to the family how do you deal with the pressure no honestly the older Jet and Drew have gotten the more excited I am about having more kids, which I know it's a whole another conversation and this will likely bear last pregnancy. But I feel like I've just kind of come to terms with the dad thing,

parenting and like what life looks like. Zero to one was hard because it was like the whole identity shift that we've talked about. Your schedule changes, your friend group changes. There's a lot of new thing. Like you're doing chores, whatever, all the stuff.

And then going, from one to two was just weird because you're like I don't know what that's going to look like I'm hoping two to three is just like adding to the joy and to negative visualization like wow what if we don't have a fourth what if we don't it's like this is going to really be a precious time having a third baby the first two weeks with the skin to skin I freaking love I know it'll be different because we'll have jet just BMXing all around our living room as we do that but like No, I don't feel pressure. I just feel excited and hot, dang.

People don't really talk about how fun parenting is. I feel like we're experiencing, we're on the front porch this morning, watching Jet, learn how to ride his bike down the hill is awesome. Wild. It's so fun. He's a wild man. I really do love it.

Sean, how does your faith play a role in your day-to-day life in this pregnancy? Well, I told you my doomsday thought. So my day-to-day faith plays. a huge role because I'm just like all day every day like God protect this baby give them the strength to stick with us make it all the way here protect their body and their minds so I think my how my faith plays a role is I have a very active mind and whenever it starts to run down paths that I don't enjoy thinking about

I switch over to faith and I'm like you know what it's a good time just to give it all to God which when you mean that are you talking like reflecting and praying are you talking about hoping and like dream

casting or whatever you want to call that are you talking about just like acknowledging humility I think it's just acknowledging the way that my mind deals with lack of control is by faith

which some people could say is dreaming or being hopeful or whatever whereas I would say it's more prayer so it's like a hey I can't do anything else I give this to you all these thoughts I'm going to give to you and just in exchange

say a prayer or have a conversation and be like can you help protect us And I don't mean that in exchange. Like I'm owed anything. I'm not owed anything by God. But I deal with uncertainty and fear and doubt and worry by talking to the big guy.

So it's like doing, it's giving that all up bundled with like this hopeful optimism kind of is what faith does. This episode is brought to you by Defender with its 626 horsepower. twin-turbal V8 engine, the defender, Octa, is taking on the Dakar rally. The ultimate off-road challenge. Learn more at landrover.ca. Hit pause on whatever you're listening to and hit play on your next adventure. This fall get double points on every qualified stay. Life's the trip. Make the most of it at Best Western. Visit bestwestern.com for complete terms and conditions.

I dig it. Next question. Andrew. Do guys think about their reaction when the baby is born? Do they feel like they have to act a certain way? I didn't think about my reaction. No. It's a craziest bundle of emotions, though.

It is. It's crazy. It's like terror and crying holding your hand because Sean had C-sections and she's trembling. She's always cold or like she's just not normal, which is scary. And in that operating room is like the most intense realization that something could go wrong. It's like there's blood and there's doctors and you're like, oh, this is a surgery. Yeah.

And they're cutting up in her stomach, which is like a very vulnerable part of your body. But then you hear a baby crying and it's like, I know. you realize you've been waiting nine months to hear that cry and now it's here it's like this it's such an intense oh my gosh I love that moment so now I don't think about it we do I mean we have filmed historically the deliveries but the way we film it's like set it up in the corner our anesthesiologist holds it yeah which is wild because I don't even remember that until now but we always hand it off to the anesthesiologist. Yeah. And I'm glad we've done that, but my focus is not, hey, how can I look sweet on camera? You're wearing these dumb little white, poofy outfits.

Like, no one, it's not going to be cool. It's just, I want to be there in the moment, you know? Yeah. This all makes me think that we should have Mama, Dr. Jones, back on and ask her all these questions about C-Sections. Like, why do I shake? Oh, I dig it. let's do it mom of dr jones

teed up you come up answer our question no next question Sean anything you wish you did differently with your other pregnancies um uh no

I mean I learned from my other pregnancies so they ended perfectly beautifully with our babies I think I don't want to go regretful and go backwards and be like I wish I changed this because I don't. I think with this pregnancy I would love to be a little bit more proactive. Historically with both Drew and Jet, I get horrible sciatic pain and a horrible low back pain starting about halfway forward because of how big our babies are and how I carry and all these things. So I would love to be more proactive to where that doesn't become the case.

But if it can't happen, it's fine. Can I say one thing? What? Well, first of all, probably don't want to break your toe again like you did. Yeah. It would be one change. And then also the adhesive that causes the rash. We have to have a conversation about this with.

I'm saying it right now to bring it up in top of mind. Dude, I think I have a latex allergy. I don't know what it is. Actually, I'm going to throw this to you guys. If you guys know what this is, my C-section scar, so C-section Mamas, they put, they stitch you up internally and then they put

this big strip on you. It's like a big band-aid. Whenever that strip comes off, immediate, no, it starts when it's on. I think it starts when it's on. Anyways, it's all around my C-section scar. I get this horrible

to be an understatement horrible rash that itches so badly I want to take a knife and cut the skin off and it starts traveling down my legs and all the way up my stomach

it gets pretty gnarly and it will last a month or two it gets pretty gnarly dude I don't want to experience that again Well, what made me think of it. I put a band out of my foot and I took it off and it was like swollen. I was like, what the heck?

And that's, it reminded me of your whole stomach section after I picked that off. Guys, I forgot about that, babe. We cannot let that happen again. I got you, I got you, I got you. Next question. I've like, I thought, is it like the iodine? Is it the? We've been through a lot.

Okay. Last one, baby. How, no, not last one. Wow. baby how has your view of pregnancy changed after watching firsthand all that pregnancy does to a woman's body mind energy etc I mean the first pregnancy I had no reference point and I probably a lesser appreciation of just you as a person so when you would say hey I don't feel good today I'd be like stop complaining but then you kind of get older, have more friends

that get pregnant, see how their wives react and respond to it, and then all those collective experiences have made me appreciate you more. And take you seriously. I'm embarrassed to say that I probably didn't take you as seriously as I should have. But now I'm getting better.

And that's the whole game. I'm getting better. I think the greatest mind shift for you was when I broke my toe. I feel like I noticed the biggest shift in you after that. Sean said that she thought she like the rock had stubbed her toe pretty much and then the doctor also thought that because he was like wiggling it and moving it yeah and Sean was just sitting there he's like you

got a bone bruise and then they did x-rays and he was like oh my gosh your pain tolerance is nuts you didn't get a bone bruise you shattered your toe it's in half he's like I cannot believe you're just sitting here normal like most people would be knocked out from whatever so I've uh yeah if that answer the question I also want to give Andrew props real quick I've been really impressed through the years with how

with the relationship you've formed with our OB you ask so many questions and like are truly genuinely interested and curious about the whole process it's been cool to watch that what ways do you struggle

no it's my turn oh question seven do you think after this baby there's any possible chance of a fourth is adoption, foster care, or another pregnancy down the line

possible if the OB approved it? Yes. Wow. I have said this since the day we got pregnant. Right now, I feel as if this is my last pregnancy. I don't know if it's our last baby. We'll see how we deal with three.

I think I did say in a YouTube video, I felt like we were complete, but we'll see. We don't really have that many people in our close circle who have adopted. So, like, that is this looming question mark in my mind of, like, I kind of want to explore it just to see, yeah, it makes sense for us. Anyway, your turn. What ways do you struggle with being a dad, impatience, unrealistic expectations, anger, being present, et cetera, and how do you want to work on that area for this next baby? gosh patience is always a thing in parenting i feel like um i think i you have better patience than i do i appreciate that that's been one thing sean's patience this pregnancy has probably been lower than normal yes to her earlier question working on it so yes that i think i probably

I really am kind of more of an introvert like meaning I need my solo time more than you like it you like to be you and me yeah I like to just be me I think a weakness of mine as a dad is like trending toward thinking about that as opposed to no this is a phase of life you know what I'm saying so it's like always this tension honestly I don't know if we're too loose with the kids i would say we're intentionally um hands off with the kids we let them do dangerous things carefully as the saying goes right i don't know like it's a weird line to try to

figure that out i think i probably like when i'm watching the kids i'm pretty hands and i'll let jet climb the play set and do all the crazy things, which has worked out because that dude is now capable as anything, and he's really physically aware, right? But maybe

that was just luck. What else do you think? What? Nothing at all. I like watching you reflect. Any other dad moments I'm overlooking? Where do I struggle?

Is it add? I think something I've noticed you working on more and more is you're, I feel like you're acknowledging more and more how different Drew and Jett are and how they have different needs. I never really had that thought until just now. Well, and you can see, like, Jet wants the rough housing. He wants to get down and dirty with you. Drew wants your attention, and she wants to be your princess in such a fragile way. And I've seen you kind of work on that more and more lately.

That would be one thing, is I probably, I my like we've never had this conversation I worry about Drew getting too much attention so I think I take it upon myself to like try not to get I'll intentionally withhold which is not right of like oh I don't want to I shouldn't compliment her hair in her dress every day she's going to get used to this and it's like is that going to lead her down to be this like van like is she going to be vain or is that going to lead the body image so I'm like maybe I maybe overthinking is that is that i think you're probably the most important person in her life way more than me it's a big role i believe that i love her and i think how you treat her

every single day day in and day out will define the husband she looks for someday i treat her well oh beautifully but i'm saying like don't never worry about the vanity it's like you're in stealing such a confidence in her coming from the most important man in her life that when your eyes light up looking at her

and it's because she wants to show you her hair that gives her such confidence in herself. Like I distinctly remember that from my dad. Yeah. My mom would take me shopping and I'd get a new outfit and I could not wait

to go home and show it. like try it on and show it to my dad because he made me feel like I was the most beautiful person in the world yeah I dig that um sorry last thing this goes back to like me being an introvert but I'm a big like focus like when I'm focused on something don't interrupt me and so I've gotten better yeah at Drew wants to show me something she's excited about put whatever I'm focused on aside whether it's a book or a project I'm working on or a computer hey I would love to see that and like make eye contact with her show her that that distraction is out of my way and give her my attention yeah okay next does having more babies make you wish you had siblings

growing up yes i loved my life i love my life i love my parents my parents are my best friends they were my best friends my whole life but i think it's because of seeing the the dynamic of siblings with you and your siblings now as adults i love that and i want our kids to have that so like i i wouldn't change anything about my childhood i love how close we are to my parents everything but i think that bond is really special if you're close with your siblings there's no other relationship like it yeah anyway uh what advice would you have for any guys out there who really want to be a dad, but their wife may not be ready to get pregnant yet. There are a lot of ways to live a fulfilling, purposeful, meaningful, fun life.

Having kids is one of them. As parents, Sean and I talk about that our marriage comes first, and our kids reap the benefits of us having a strong marriage I think that applies to this situation where you are in this marriage that is the most important relationship in your life you've committed to this person

don't just try to like don't do anything to disrespect don't do anything to try to rush or pressure or manipulate like that marriage should be cared for very tenderly and zoom out and see the long game like you know you have a you have a pretty large window of time to have kids in and if you're just wanting them now like maybe that's partially selfish right so take care of your spouse because that's the first commitment you made that makes sense

I think you have the best chance at your marriage and the best chance of being great teammates and parents when you're both on the same page. I dig that. You've got to wait for that. I dig it. What advice would you give to anyone out there who has been trying to get pregnant for a long time

and keeps getting their hopes up and then gets disappointed? The Conjuring Last Rites. On September 5th I come down here when you need you! Array! The Conjuring Last Rites, only on the theater September 5th. I didn't get charged for my donut. It was free with the Tim's Rewards points.

I think I just stole it. I'm a donut stealer. Ooh. Earn points so fast, it'll seem too good to be true. Plus, join Tim's Rewards today and get enough points for a free donut, drink, or timbits. With 800 points after registration, activation, and first purchase of a dollar or more. See the Tim's app for details at participating in restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Lean in to your spouse.

communicate, surround yourself with a supportive, good community that you can talk to, heal with, heal through, and never forget that they're, if you're dealing with, you know, the disappointment or devastation of not being able to have kids on your own, there are other ways. There are a lot of babies out there that need parents. There's actually a influencer. Bella. We'll link it down in the description below.

Yeah, yeah, Della vlogs. She just adopted yesterday. Do you see that? I bawled like a baby. You watched it? I watched every second of it. I bawled like a baby. Really?

Della vlogs. Go watch their adoption story. I mean, I was almost. puts my knees it it's just so beautiful it's so beautiful yeah last question Andrew in what areas do you think you've supported me well throughout pregnancy and what areas do you think you could better support me sounds like a interesting question uh i think i could probably like be more hospitable in the sense of like hey planning things for you to look forward to or something surprising you with like hey babe i booked you i blocked your afternoon off from work and you're

going to get a massage i didn't but but that's a good idea um i'm trying to do that like with getting you and to see the doctor i think i've done a better job with that yeah but just thinking of you more and how can i proactively like take care of you in a way that gives you something to be excited about that actually gives you more reasons to love me as ridiculous as it is like hey how can i be a dope husband for sean right now i love that let me let me do something really cool and thoughtful for it's selfish but it's not you know what i'm saying like i want you to love me the most i i feel like you've been the most supportive in this pregnancy so far and i feel like you were very supportive in the first two but i think we're we're getting better at this thing we are yeah

last question for you how have you personally grown since becoming pregnant or becoming a mom hmm I have a lot of areas to still work on all of the same areas that I have grown better in but I think I've just learned a lot about motherhood I've learned a lot about babies I've learned a lot about pregnancy my understanding of it all is so much greater i'm working on my patients right now being exhausted and tired with kids but i think my patience has gotten better since day one i think my open-mindedness has grown or that category i think i've loosened the reins a little bit and just kind of allowed our kids to be more of who they were born to be rather than who I wanted them to be, I guess.

And it's been a very beautiful thing. Yeah. I think we've, we're surrounded by a lot of people that have passionate feelings on the style with which you should raise kids. I think one effect that's had in both you and I is like this person has style A which is directly contradictory to style B and it's like we used to feel like we needed to

make camp with one or both of those but we've really just grown in empathy for like oh that's just how they're doing it you know and that's how they're doing it and there's no right or wrong way I think to add to that too I think a perspective shift that has changed in both of us so much over the years since getting pregnant with Drew to now being halfway

through our third is this idea I remember going into our first birth and planning through that whole pregnancy this is how we're going to do it this is how we're going to have this is our birthing plan this is everything this is what our kids are going to be into this is when they're going to hit their milestones like all of these things and you so quickly learned that these little people are their own little people and that it is not our job to raise them to become a particular person it is our job to help them grow into who they're supposed to be whoever god made them so like we're not determining their i don't know life trajectory we're trying to like help them flourish and it's been fun to kind of

take a step back and be like dude jet has fallen in love with a bike and he's running with it and the best thing i can do is be his biggest cheerleader in that and drew thinks she will be a real life princess that happens to be a pilot at the moment and all she talks about is how she wants to be in the clouds and right now the best thing i can do is help that grow I love parenting, and I think you're a great mom and a great pregnant lady. Thanks. All right. Thank you all so much for listening and just joining us on this pregnancy journey again.

If you made it this far, don't forget to subscribe, give the show a rating, like it, follow along, whatever platform you're on. I guess it depends. But we love you guys. What a treat. And I love you. I love you, baby. Hey, thank you for being the best. teammate the best supporter I'm glad to have you being along and being our our baby's daddy

and by the way I've realized Sean is the best teammate because I believe that she I think she is right I got you it's not like it's not like there should be no jealousy of like oh Sean well Andrew's married to Sean and he got this dope teammates like no we've like just mutually said, I am choosing to have you be the best teammate for me. And I will every day make that choice. That's a thought, it's a mindset, it's faith. That's all we got. I'm Andrew. I'm Sean. For the East Fam, out.