Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew - 185 | unlocking intimacy with joey and heath

Episode Date: October 11, 2023

In today’s episode, we tackled the topic of phone addiction and how it can interfere with your relationships. So many of us are truly addicted to using our phones and if we’re being honest, it can cause us to miss out on little moments with our spouse and kids. Today we’re joined by Joey Odom, co-founder of Aro, a company dedicated to helping families manage their screen time and be fully present. Joey was an executive in commercial real estate until he realized his phone was distracting him from the most important thing in life - his family. He now works alongside co-founder Heath Wilson to help families remove that distraction and form a healthier relationship with their phones. I think this episode can really resonate with all of us and is definitely worth a listen! Love you guys! Shawn and Andrew  Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase. Go to https://www.drinkAG1.com/couplethings. Check it out! Aro is offering one free month on a prepaid annual membership OR two free months on a two-year membership with the code COUPLETHINGS. Aro has never offered two free months on our membership so should definitely take advantage of this limited-time deal! Get the discount here ▶ https://www.goaro.com/membership?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes&utm_id=couplethings To learn more about Aro ▶ https://www.goaro.com Follow My Instagram ▶ httsp://www.instagram.com/ShawnJohnson Follow My Tik Tok ▶ https://www.tiktok.com/@shawnjohnson Like the Facebook page! ▶ https://www.facebook.com/ShawnJohnson Follow Andrew’s Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/AndrewDEast Andrew’s Tik Tok ▶ https://www.tiktok.com/@andrewdeast?lang=en Like the Facebook page! ▶ https://www.facebook.com/AndrewDEast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Defender. With a towing capacity of 3,500 kilograms and a waiting depth of 900 millimeters, the Defender 110 pushes what's possible. Learn more at landrover.ca. It's been so fun to have you guys here. We've known each other, what, for like six weeks, maybe? But immediately, I mean, Joey's, Joey walks in the room. You're like, okay, I can hang with this guy.

I'm not going to lie. If you show up for a sauna session, it says a lot about you. And I have kind of learned whoever partakes is part of the crew. So I was impressed. My wife, Andrew and I was, when we talked the other day, you're on speaker, my wife could hear her in the room over and we're just immediately just, you know, making fun of each other and back and forth. And I hung up and I said to my wife, I was like, you know how I kind of have a type?

And she goes, yeah, I go, Andrew's mind. it's just you know when you can immediately start making fun of that that is my criteria when you can immediately start making fun of the other person that's that's that's that's my type that's great jill we may talk about this a little bit but joey and i were friends but we weren't we weren't best friends but he was the first guy called when when i had this idea because i knew he had that magnetic personality and i knew he would light up her room and connected and it was just a good you know he's yeah he's a lot taller than i am long hair and i'm high challenged with no hair and just made for a good combo yeah it was just he heath is he has this like

again we say like when he had this idea when we went to lunch i still i still don't think he was asking me to be part of it like i just wanted and i was just like yeah okay i'll do it and it's like oh i don't i didn't ask that but he has some feedback i just yeah just has a very easy way of like anything like heath says like you believe you're like okay i i believe that i'm i'm on board of that And I'm emotionally just up and down. Heath was gone with his family for three weeks in Australia last month. And about 10 days in, I was just being grumpy. I was just, and my wife was like, what's wrong with you?

I was like, I don't know. I'm just down. And she goes, I know. Heath's gone. And it was. I was like, that's why. I'm just sad. Dang.

Well, here's what I love. And it's been kind of a challenge that I've assumed recently where I really, I really, believe that every person is placed here for a purpose and for a reason at this time. And I think that when you remove some of these layers or hurdles or obstacles, whether that be like insecurities or self-doubt or whatever restraints, including distraction, and you dial in on intentionality, and give the person or a family or a relationship space to grow and to blossom. Beautiful things can happen. So, like, you know, you saw this potential in Joey, like, man, if I could give him space to do what he does and be in a room with other people, like he's magnetic, he can make plays.

He can connect and share this mission, right? Which is what I love about what you've built with R.O. the tagline of the company is the intentionality company, is that right? Yeah. The intentionality company. We've got a bunch of taglines. That's our current favorite,

but yeah, it's great. I want to start with the product because I think that's going to be the most novel thing, one of the most novel things about the conversation, and then almost backlog and fill in the issue for why this is so necessary, because I think maybe some people are familiar with the statistics, but here and,

front of us if you're watching on YouTube is a beautiful looking box. What do we have like Egyptian bamboo here with like maybe like a thousand thread silk cotton surrounding this? We like to say it's wife approved. It is

wife approved. I mean I saw it on your counter. That must mean that I have a feeling that you've tried to put a lot of ugly things out in the house and Sean vetoes a bunch of them. Always. Yes. Oh man. Now it is very aesthetically pleasing i was impressed well thank you it looks like a speaker yeah i think but what does this box

represent beyond just looking good what does it do well let me start with the story actually so a lot of what's in this business has been a result of my personal failures joey's personal failures as as husbands as men as fathers and one day i kind of woke up and i you know my kids now are a bit older about to go off to college and they were middle school at the time and I thought gosh if they do what I've done with my device this is going to be a train wreck so that led me down the path of all right how can we actually solve this we can try to be more disciplined sure we can put our phone down but that had not worked for me anyway so then I thought all right well there's got to be something there's going to be some technology someone's developed so I started looking at apps that were created

and I just realized pretty quickly that you can't build a solution inside of you know the problem itself. So I thought there's got to be a place. Like we have a place for everything else in our lives, right? We know where to put our car, our silverware, our clothes, but we don't know where to put our phones. And because of that, we pop it in our back pocket or we lay it on the table. And

science has caught up with the science says, hey, if that phone is within, you know, a distance where you can see it and it's not out of sight, you're going to use it. And if you don't use it, you're going to be thinking about using it. It actually equates, they actually say it equates to usage when your phone is out because you're anticipating something on there. So you're actually using it

even when it's just in front of you. Yeah. The mental, the distraction is there. You're interacting with it. So I took, where this started, actually, I took a shampoo box, which if you're watching on YouTube, I have no hair. So it's my wife's a shampoo box. I cut a hole in the back.

I pulled some cords through, and I thought, I just want to see if a visual cue that sits on our counter would become the place we put our phones. And it did, but there was no reward. There was no way to create the habit loop, as we call it. I was going to write down what I did, you know, with a little journal beside. And I did that for maybe two sessions before that was too much friction. So I thought, okay, there is something to a place. It needs to be a prettier place.

Can't be a box. So then we created this, what I call it, like a cigar box. We put a little Bluetooth beacon in the bottom. We built an app, and we started testing that with families. And we learned a couple things. One is having a visual cue matters, like walking in the door and seeing something that says, ah, that's the place where I need to put my phone so I can be intentional or do the things that are most important. and the second was we would ask people

say how do you feel how do you feel after you take a break how do you feel after you have a family meal without your phones how do you feel when your kids go to bed without their phone how do you feel when you go to bed without your phone and they all said the same thing I'm so proud of myself which at the time was like wow how embarrassing

that we just put our phone down we feel pride but honestly that's a very incredible motivator to feel proud of your actions so that was kind of our aha moment to say like hey let's let's pursue this. Now, at that point, we knew it had to be beautiful, right? So we started work with designers and said, like, this has to fit into home decor because it needs to be out in the open. It needs to be, you know, present, but also, you know, fade away in a way so that it can

become part of a family's routine and ritual. So your original question, it kind of becomes the symbol of your family's values. Yeah. Like, we aspire to put our phones down when it matters and anyone you know we can all define sacred times and sacred places for us it's family dinner for us it's kind of a morning routine for us it may be an extended period on a weekend it's not all that we're pro phone we love phones i'm keeping my phone but but there are times and it just doesn't make sense to have it and within arm's reach i think the other thing and it represents even beyond hey we put our phones down to what it represents is what we hear from people from members of r o they just say we are present that represents we're a present family and whether that's

actually true or not, you become more like the person that you identify yourself as. So if you say, we are present, well, you become more like a present person when you identify yourself that way. And this thing sitting out there reminding you all the time, it's a really powerful motivator. And yes, it does. The Habaloo begins with the visual cue, like Keith said. And so it will remind you to put your phone down. But even more, even if you're not using, it just says, we're present. We've invested in this for our family. And we're together. This is what's important to us. So it is a box. It does have. charging cords in there so you know people talk about how you shouldn't have

your phones with you in bed it's it's an intimate time like when you're married and with kids it's Sean and I's only time together alone and any and by intimacy we did this whole episode on intimacy it's like the goal there is just to foster connection whatever that looks like you know in whatever relationship have a conversation where you're not looking at your phone yeah yeah and needless to say all like the physiological like don't look at the blue screen and all those things um it does cost money and you alluded to it but the r o box in our household has served three purposes one is the visual cue that he's discussed where it's like sitting on your

countertop and it's like oh yeah i'm gonna put my phone up for a half hour 15 minutes and let me just go be with drew or jet or go play with hot wheels with whatever it is visual cue um it's also because it costs money this is a kind of a new concept to me but like you're where you invest your resources time and money

the the like the habits follow that right it's like hey I'm gonna spend an hour week on fantasy football it's like your your love and passion for that will follow it's like you know to know is to love and like to invest is to love

and so the investment has been a reminder that this means something to us and let's use it what does it mean to us it's like okay the phone is not my priority when i'm on my deathbed it's not going to be man i wish i scrolled instagram a couple more times or liked a couple more pictures it's going to be gosh i'm really glad i spent quality time with my family right um the irony is i get i get it i have all my notes the third thing is i was telling you story last night we had a friend over who was taking a call during dinner and RO has been a middleman

for us to be like hey man we phones in the box yeah like you got and it's less because there is a moment of of discomfort or awkwardness where you're like uh you know this is when the one person's in a room of six people using their phone it throws off the whole vibe like group dynamics are her very fragile thing um and so it's like it's an excuse to be like sorry you got to put your phone in the box and it's more about arro allowing you to do that than like andrew feeling uncomfortable like shoot that's that's that's awkward for me to ask that or is he how's he going to respond it's like no it's the box put it in yeah so that's my small little rant you okay that i have my notes no shame it is funny though what you were saying he's earlier all of like the the built-in

I don't know handcuffs that you try to do on your phone I've tried to put screen time all of it I've tried everything to restrict myself but if it's on the phone I will go around every

door and make sure I can get back into it and it's so frustrating because it is so freeing and I remember when we were first talking about RO our kids don't have phones yet but I remember a family that we think very highly of

and love how they like operate their life telling us they now have like kids in college but they used to do this thing where at dinner time all phones would go in a basket in the center of the table and it was like a you don't touch it you don't think about it and to see that you've like gamified it and made it this this intentionality is really cool I think people are learning more and more

We had a big debate with our whole team yesterday on how distracting and how toxic phones can be if used too much, especially with kids around. And it is. It's just like that. I'm sorry, that's the fourth purpose that the box serves. It's a conversation starter, too, of like, you know, hey, put your phone in the box. And then it's like, oh, that's interesting. I've never done that before. Or like, why are you doing that?

This is different. and so then then if it's like a friend we have in town who we don't spend a lot of time with it starts this interesting conversation that you probably otherwise wouldn't have so anyway you know it's been so rewarding since we launched late last year is when we built this we thought this is tailor-made for families that look like ours and at the time

kids are older now but at the time they were middle schoolers right right at the time where they either had a phone we're about to get a phone so you're either trying to like create some habits or instill in them some good habits most of the people that are buying RO are families like yours with young kids. They want to get ahead of it. They want a role model the right thing. But more than that, they want their kids by the time they have a device for it to be normal to put your phone down.

Now, you can force that when your kids have a phone. It's a lot harder to break a habit than to create a habit. So there's so much hope and opportunities. So I look at younger families and I'm so thankful. Like I wish I would have had this 10 years. I actually wish one shook me by the shoulders 10 years ago. But had I had something, or at least just had. had been aware of, you know, the distraction and the impact on a family that these devices had,

you guys are getting ahead of it. And that's just, that's incredible. I mean, Jet and Drew will grow up saying, yeah, my parents were connected. They put their phone down. And, you know, when or if they get a device, like the same thing. It will naturally occur to them. Like, of course I don't take my phone into the bedroom. That's like what my parents did. That's amazing. Yeah, exactly. And just think you're building a muscle memory. And we've learned this from some of our members that people, they will hand their phones to their kids. Actually, one of our, Our favorite is someone who has a task list for their kids who are young, probably three, four, five years old. And task list is wash your face a night, brush your teeth at night, take mommy and daddy's phone at night.

So on their list is going and grabbing their parents' phones and putting in the box for them, which does two things. One of them is it builds a muscle memory in them. So someday when they have a phone, it's normal for them to put their phone away to create distance between them and their phones. And the second thing is, it makes them feel like they're worth something, that they're worth. they're more important than their phones, and I believe that we're conditioning our kids and many times to believe that our phones are more important than they are.

Of course, we would never say that, but to a young mind, that's exactly what they would think. Of course, what other way is they're interpreted? And so when your kids are young, for anybody watching, anybody listening, if you've heard the line before, Daddy, look at me and on your phone.

Mommy, put your phone up. If you ever heard that, our kids are just full truth, two, three, four years old because they just know that your phone is in the way. And when we have to start really getting concerned is when they stop asking for that. Because when they stop asking for it, that means that they now believe, well, maybe the phone is more important than I am.

Or maybe, you know, maybe I'm not worth that. And so that foundational sense of value, they start to lose that. And so we have a cool opportunity to heat's point, this is pure opportunity. There's no shame in this at all. It's the greatest opportunity any of us have as parents is to do the simple act of putting our phones down. If you want to invest in your kids, this is the best thing you can do is teach them how to manage their relationship with their phones. One of the thing I'll add on this, and I don't know if we mentioned enough, is the real secret is not just putting it away. The real secret is the gamification on the phone connects to the, the app connects to the box right when you put it in there and starts tracking your time away.

So you can start gamifying the experience. You mentioned that, Sean, gamifying experience of being away from your phone, tagging what you did like a fitness app after you had a 50-minute session. We had family dinner. So it's fun to look at mine and see, here's how much time I've had in morning devotions this year. here's how much time family time i've had here's so much time my son harrison and i have watched stranger things together this year you know stuff like that that yes is involving a screen but it's really a shared connection time between him and me and it's enabled by putting that phone away but when my daughter was 10 i've been using arro for just a probably about six months

we'd been beta testing at that time we finished a movie and she turns toward me she goes daddy did you know that's the first time we've watched a movie and you haven't had your phone bro I mean, that, so our kids, they notice when we're there, they notice when we're not there. And I think that each one of those is equally impactful. So it's a hopeful message. They're going to notice when you're fully present with them. And that feels really good. And because that felt so good, you better believe the next time we watched a movie, I did it again.

I probably made a big deal out of it, too. Hey, Gianna, I put my phone up so we can watch this movie. That means a lot to them. I watched yesterday. I watched Drew. you said, hey, Drew, do you want to go on a date? And you're three-year-old. She's jumping up and down saying, I'm going on a date, I'm going on a date, I'm going on a date.

What a freaking cool thing. And you just say, and imagine you go next level with that and say, hey, will you put Daddy's phone over here? I want to be with you. I want to be with you. What a cool thing you can do. And you had an opportunity because there was a moment when we were going to run another session at Sana. And we asked, and you said, I think I'm going to stay right here. Yeah.

And you had that moment of opportunity to go hang with the boys or hanging with your daughter, right? It's those little moments where, I mean, maybe there wouldn't have been a date had you said, let's just go sit here for 15 more minutes. So, good on you. Hit pause on whatever you're listening to and hit play on your next adventure. This fall get double points on every qualified stay. Life's the trip. Make the most of it at Best Western. Visit bestwestern.com for complete terms and conditions. Oh, this is it. The day you finally ask for that big promotion. You're in front of your mirror with your Starbucks coffee.

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It's never just coffee. We, well, one, you mentioned how honest young kids can be. Daddy, can you put your phone up? When we first met, we talked about, like, that honesty and that candidness kind of goes away, especially in a marriage relationship where, hey, maybe I'm on my phone. Sean's most of the time probably not going to say anything. It's like, you know, she's tired too and could be doing an argument. Like, let me just, he'll just do his thing.

But how many, just thinking about how can you increase the probability that there be a deepened relationship and when kids go down and I come downstairs and Sean's on her phone like I just put jet down and the first thing I think see is Sean on her phone when I walked downstairs then I'm like okay well I'll pull on my phone and then she puts hers down she sees my me on my phone yeah and then she picks hers back up and I put mine down and it's like missed missed missed missed and I just think like dang let's just increase the probability that I can get to know her better. Right.

We also had the opportunity to speak to the University of Georgia tennis team last week. Was that this week or last week? I don't know. Our life is wild. I was reflecting on just my athletic career and Sean's athletic career. She's a story where a lot of Olympic gymnasts will train 40 hours a week, right? Sean trained 20 hours a week. I was thinking about my time at Vanderbilt where we, you know, we're on a role.

We're beating UT, Tennessee, all these different teams. teams and thinking a subtle dick there I like that I noticed that was a real just a little bit where we were really good and then contrasting that with where we were really bad and we were investing the same amount of time when we were good and when we were bad but the quality of that time was was different right and so one of the things I was just sharing with the University of Georgia team is like you're gonna be there you're gonna be in the facility working out you're gonna be out on the courts hitting balls but how intentional and present you are makes all the difference you know what I'm saying

um and so that's where the it's going to be the same amount of it could be the same amount of time that uh you're spending whatever with your kids but the quality makes all the difference or you could whether it's work if it's working out like we've all been to the gym and someone walking around on their phone and they're like three hours and it's like I haven't actually seen you do any exercise But it's like, it doesn't take any more time to do things excellently, right? To be an excellent father, to be an excellent husband. It can actually take less time if you're more strategic with it, more intentional with it, you know? Man, it's so true.

You think about, so there's a study that came out to me that was shocking. And it's from the Gottman Institute. And it talked about 86% of couples who were successful. They turned towards their partner's bids for emotional connection, 86% of the time. when couples who don't make it who get divorced turn towards those subtle bids for connection 33% of the time and I think to your point to your example

I think we're throwing out subtle bids all the time it requires a lot of vulnerability to actually be very direct and say I need a date night with you you know what I mean it's almost like that's almost like telling somebody what you want for Christmas instead of them thinking about it on their own

you know what I mean and so we're throwing out these subtle bids for connection and we're going to miss those again and again and again and again if we're not paying attention. We're physically unable and emotionally unable to turn towards those things so that our partners throwing out to us.

So an example could be something like Sean is just saying like, God, I need to get out of the house. That may just mean, hey, let's go on a date night. Or it could be something even more subtle than that. Or it could be, for me,

I need to get smacked over the head. It could be very overt. When are you going to take me on a date night? Kristen could say to me. And so if I'm not, and that would be easy if I'm here,

if I'm here, you know what I mean? It's just easy when you're looking down. You're looking at your phone. to miss those things. And so we have to be constantly aware for those things that are so important to us.

And you're right, Andrew, I don't care how this impacts, this is maybe a little bit hyperbole, I don't really care how this impacts somebody's screen time report on Sundays, but what we are looking for, those moments and those spaces, family dinner's got to be sacred.

My kids, you know, sleeping at night, they don't need to have their phones there, needs to be an RO. Those sorts of things are very, very sacred. And it's those little things, those little moments that justify the monies, not any of the minutia the you know the tough times when you have that great connection you have an ice cream date for 30 minutes with drew or i talk with my son we watched stranger things for an hour or you know my daughter and i go on a walk or whatever that is and it doesn't have to be these crazy big ethereal things it could just be those small mundane moments and another thing is you never know when that moment's going to arise so quality time only comes from quantity time that's from a friend of ours billy phoenix who says that so that quantity time those moments will open themselves up we call them these little moments of our

RO. RO means to notice or to turn towards. And when those moments pop up, you want to be ready for that moment. With your kids, with your spouse, and you just have to be prepped, and you just can't be there. You can't be ready for that when we're staring down on their phones. Well, and I feel like, too, we live in a world where, like, modern technology is just going, it's moving at a very rapid pace. New things are coming out every day, how to, like, optimize your life and make it better and easier. And I feel like the big trend that we've noticed with couples and families is they either go

one direction. They either go all in technology or they cut every single piece of it out. And they're like, I cannot figure out a healthy boundary within either. And I don't think we're going to live in a world where all technology goes away. It's, we're just not doing it. And we're also not going to go back to old times where we're living, you know. So finding solutions. to actually implement boundaries within your life that allow for quality time again and that take your kids away from phones and screens and distractions

and other people's opinions I think it's really smart and really healthy because people ask us every day how do you balance work and whatever your kids and it's like we don't know we're still learning there's so many different things out there that can consume you I think this is just

It's just genius. It's so simple. Yeah. It's crazy simple. It's comical how simple it is. You want me to put my phone in a box. Yeah. And it's so funny, too, how many people would respond like, oh, I don't need to do that.

Yeah. It's like, no, you do. Yeah. And it's shocking the difference that it makes. But, yeah, I just think it's one of the first things. It's one of the first solutions I've ever seen that is so simple. It's comical. but yet needed by so many people in a world that's just moving too fast.

You know, I want to talk to husbands and wives for a second because I completely agree. And it's funny, we started a technology company to solve a technology problem. So we agree. We're not going back to flip flones or a phone in the wall. But as I had started this journey, as we had started this journey, I started to fill the tension around, you know, how I was interacting with my phone. And my wife would always say, Heath, you're here, but you're not here. Like, you're not in the room with me.

You may physically be here, but you're not there. So one night, we're out on a date. And this was the aha moment for me. And we're sending a dinner. And normally I'd have my phone up, you know, waiting for the all-important call or email. Sometimes I'd flip it over, but if it's still there, I'm still disengaged.

I slid it across the table. And she kind of looked at me like, what are you doing? I said, I want you to put that in your purse. I don't even want to think about it. She kind of sat up. I can assure you, it was a very different date night that we normally had.

And I say that because there are two articles published in the last two days, one of the New York Times and another in another periodical that talked about intimacy and the levels of intimacy that couples have when they put their phone away. And more importantly, the lack of intimacy they have. And by intimacy, I mean actual sex, right? Like it's, we now have studies that say you are going to be less intimate the more you use your phone. And we're talking about phone snubbing and having a middleman serving is that, hey Sean let's go do this together

let's both put our phones down as opposed to Sean get off your phone right like we're all gonna be defensive too if a wife Misty said Heath get off your phone but if she said let's put our phone down together go do something together like it's such it's such an easy way to diffuse the situation

and to not start an argument and then very quickly it leads to a conversation or a date night or sitting on the back porch or just something that's way more meaningful than whatever's on the other end of that screen I feel like you need to dumb down that to just the fellows. Just say, just say it directly to the guys. Just say, just say what you want to say. I can tell you from experience when you put your phone down, you will have more

sex. That's it. That's it. That's it. Well, because thinking about because they say that men, men have sex to feel close, women feel close, and then they have sex, right? And so it's that, so you're building that intimacy. The goal is not, maybe, you know, for some of this is the goal, the goal is not to go have more sex. The goal is to create more intimacy, to feel more. more close who doesn't want that now we don't want to do really in anything we don't want to do the difficult things that lead to that because it requires sacrifice on our part but when we grow it i will tell you that putting my phone down now doesn't feel like a sacrifice it feels like it feels like a routine a routine becomes a habit and so when you build in those routines for yourself and

this is what we're sean to your point a few minutes ago we don't think of this as a boundary or restriction, we think of it in terms of relationships. Over the last 15 years that we've had the iPhone, as a society, we've built a bad relationship with it that says it needs to be with us all the time. 91% of people have their phones with them 100% of the time. They don't have to move their feet, 24 hours a day, 91%. And so we want to erode that number. We want to bring that number down and get people more comfortable spending just a little bit of time away from it. Because when you change your relationship with your phone, you change your relationship with everyone around you, including yourself, be able to be a little more self-reflective.

You're able to have a little more personal time recharge for yourself, but then be able to give more of yourself to other people. And that's not getting rid of your phone. That's like in Sleeping Beauty, you know, they said the young princess would prick her finger on a spinning wheel someday. So what they do, they got rid of all the spinning wheels. They didn't teach her how to use spinning wheels. So then she came across one.

She pricked her finger immediately because she'd never used one. It's the same thing we do when we completely abstain from technology as we don't teach how to build a proper relationship with this wonderful device it's a wonderful thing that adds so many things in our lives but it has the potential to deteriorate the most important things it's our relationships dang i love it if i could riff just off a couple of different thoughts one you talking about the interaction the hypothetical interaction with your wife where you're looking at the phone she's asking a question like you know we've been in this sean does speeches for a living she'll make appearances it's like we've studied this we all know that body language

makes a huge difference. And so if Sean asked me a question and I say, you know, I'm looking at my phone and she's just interacting, I'm missing all these different cues of like what she's communicating. And argument starts immediately.

I'm like, excuse me. Yeah, Sean, fortunately, has very little patience. I have very little patience for phones. But it's like you're communicating more through your body language. And if you're looking at your phone, you're missing someone's body language

that they're communicating, right? Also, you know, I don't think the right solution is to, it doesn't, have to be all or nothing and I think of the phrase like be in the world but not of it it's like man there's a lot of like we need to have this thing I think to contribute to society and culture like it's really good to use these things but you don't put your phone you don't have to put your phone down you put your phone down so that you get to do whatever it is so you get to be with your

kids so you get to do your workout routine whatever it's like it's unlocking the experience because you can't do everything through you can't be a dad through here you can't you know do bench press through here which you could use some reps of then uh but it's like thank you i also uh another thought was just the difference in experiences of going to a movie theater to watch a film and Netflix and chilling right where it's like one is really exciting and you look forward to it there's anticipation it can actually like we're both are watching a screen but one can foster connection like if sean and i go watch a movie on date night we're counting that as quality time the other feels

purposeless and like you feel gross after it there's no there's no anticipation you're like what do we watch next what do you what do you want to watch oh nothing it's like almost like frustrating and there's no connection there's no like advancement of the relationship and I just to speak to the intentionality aspect of like man I think in this world like anything is possible dude it's crazy like anything is possible and that's beautiful but I think a lot of people kind of just limit themselves to to like being served

instagram pictures or whatever and it's like they're not exploring their passions they're not they're not thinking about what they want their life to look like Sean I read a book um the ruthless elimination of hurry one of my favorite books so good and the author talks about sundays being a day like what if you could just take one day and do all the things you love about life kind of was a question that he posed in that. And again, a simple concept, but I read that a couple of times and I was like, well, what does Andrew most enjoy about life? So Sean and I each made a list.

We like making fires. We like going on e-bike rides. We like playing hot wheels with the kids. It's like she has her stuff. I have my stuff. And now we intentionally try to do those things. So it's like really fun to think and create this vision of like, yeah, this is what I want my life to look like.

And last thought is, I'm sorry, I'm riffing. I love this. I was just listening to this interview with the psychologist who was talking about this wild phenomenon that's going on where because of porn and all the stuff that you can get on the internet, there's actually a lower desire to want to have sex with a physical partner. People are not wanting that as much. So again, it goes back to anything is possible in life. And if you don't want to interact with another person, you don't have to. You can do all the physical things you need to by yourself with this thing, right? Yeah.

But is that the life you want to live? Yeah. And all these secular studies and non-secular, like talk about the strongest correlation to living a happy life is connection with other people. So I take a step back, like, okay, anything is possible. I could not interact with another human being ever if I wanted to, and I could make. a million dollars and be fine and like you know have a dope house and all these things but is that the life i want to live i want to live a life full of connection right so anyway i'm done ranting well it's it's in our design i mean that is what we're designed for justin witt millerley's new

new book made for people talks about that it is in our design that's how we're designed to interact with people again it but it requires it requires it requires it requires things from us that feel comfortable and I do believe that we especially as of late we flee discomfort we flee boredom we flee monotony we flee all of those things maybe in the same way that you could eat it would be easy to eat ice cream for dinner every night instead of you know chicken breast and broccoli but that's and that probably tastes good and it probably is a little bit more you know expedient but it's not the thing that's good for you in the long term it goes against the design of how your body should work and how your physical body needs to the nutrients and things it needs so I totally agree with

And we all kind of know that, but it's, but it's, but it does require something of us. It does require some sacrifice on our parts. Justin in his book talks about if you want to, you know, building friendships, especially adult friendships can be hard and it requires you to say something very uncomfortable. Like, hey, would you like to be friends? You know what I mean? Yes. That feels uncomfortable.

I would like to be. Yeah. No, and I mean it like, like best friends. it's like uh maybe not yeah yeah no yeah i'm yeah i was kidding so maybe like top five or whatever like we can no but it requires a little bit of discomfort in all those things but it to really tap into our design and when you do that though the world opens up for you so um yeah it's totally within our design and that's the goal we don't you're putting it on your phone is not our parents didn't have phones they didn't have phones to put down but it's still

required a lot on their part. So it's almost like putting it in your phone as the prerequisite to then going and doing something else that's difficult. But it does have become a lifestyle. And I think too often you see someone gives up social media for Lent, or they go on a week-long detox, or they go hike in the mountains, then over the fun, they come back and they're, they're so rejuvenated, right? Like, oh, it just felt wonderful. Like getting away from technology felt great. The problem is that Monday or Tuesday, they're right back into their normal lifestyle. So really, RO was meant to be something that's a sustainable. that can become part of your life so that your Sunday goals become your Sunday activities

so that your family dinners become family dinners without phones right yeah so it so it kind of transcends across content your lifestyle um that's our hope i mean yes i i'm a week long detox sounds amazing but at the same time like that's not the reality for most of us most of us have a family and jobs and responsibilities so this is meant to be just that little thing that helps you keep that habit going well on top of that i think i think r being a lifestyle is an important note because I don't honestly I don't care if someone becomes an RO member or not or subscribers I really don't care what I do want is people to embed that that lifestyle of notice in their lives if you can do it by putting your phone in a drawer please do

that if you can do it by having your kid go hide it from you it doesn't matter to me our goal and our mission is to help people just go experience that life without those interact without those distractions and interruptions so that lifestyle of notice is really what we're hoping for whether it's you know with our or not Something Andrew and I have talked about a lot lately is discipline and how we all tend to lack it, but we think we don't. I feel like a huge flaw in a lot of people is if you were to ask them, kind of like we talked about, can you go a date without your phone? They're like, yeah, no problem. Can you do that two days in a row?

Yeah, no problem. Can you detox for a week? Sure. But when you're talking about for the rest of your life, can you go five hours a day with it intentionally? being somewhere people don't have that ability yeah yeah and it takes so much more effort and intentionality and discipline than people realize i mean we've talked about it in the sense of like dieting and fads and trends people are like oh i'm going to give up sugar for lent it's like great you're going to feel awesome and you're going to go straight back to it like it's you're it's not

your life and unless you actively practice it that goes back to the book ruthless limit elimination of hurry it's like if you don't actively practice it every day and make it a part of your life it will define your life yeah and you'll never get away from it it's not possible and yeah yeah it's so true and if you what will really compound that is if you don't have a conducive environment towards your goals yeah so environment is always stronger than willpower so willpower will lose to environment every single time so over time to your point yeah I can do for a couple days but is your or do you have a bunch of you're trying to abstain from sugar yeah you can do it for a week but you get if you got a bunch of cinnamon toast crunch in the pantry like you're gonna crush some

cinnamon toast crunch at some point and that turns into a week week in a week month yeah exactly and so if you don't have that environment that's conducive to that james clear says in atomic habits talks about most people think they're lazy they just but they just like a system yeah so if you have a clear system for what you want that is set up towards your goals and you have the environment supports it, then you're much more likely to be successful. Which is why we have a sauna. That's right.

Honestly, 95% of the reason I use asana is because you're sitting there face to face with quality, intentional time. It's like, all right, well, this is a weird situation. We're going to have some good conversation in it. Well, this is a very strange tangent

to be going down, but I feel like, literally, the ROBOX has been, it just sparks so much conversation. Wendy's most important deal of the day has a fresh lineup. Pick any two breakfast items for $4. New four-piece French toast sticks, bacon or sausage wrap, biscuit or English muffin sandwiches, small hot coffee, and more. Limited time only at participating Wendy's Taxes Extra. With Amex Platinum, access to exclusive Amex pre-sale tickets can score you a spot track side. So being a fan for life

turns into the trip of a lifetime. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Pre-sale tickets for future events subject to availability and varied by race. Turns and conditions apply. more at mx.ca slash y annex um something and i started doing over a year ago was we started excuse me sir my bet wow um we started noticing that in the phase of life we're in all of our friends are starting to have kids and and having kids they were getting very isolated their lifestyles were kind of taking them away from people they were spending more and more time at home we're in the middle of the night moms were just spending time on their phones like all of these things but they were feeling super isolated and alone and we were a part of that and we were noticing how easy it is

in this phase of life to just lose community completely intentionality good conversation you just hibernate at home especially after COVID yeah so a year ago we do these very very elaborate meetings once a year where we look at every aspect of our life we write it down we see what we want to change and we like we write it all out it's a whole pamph it's like a whole thing And in that we said that We missed our community And we missed our friends I didn't want to text them

I didn't want to call them I don't want to FaceTime him I want to be with them And we started doing Weekly game nights You guys are here tomorrow Our next one is tomorrow Weekly? I thought it was monthly

Or monthly game night Weekly would be heavy left Weekly would be heavy No Monthly game nights So the next one's tomorrow If you guys want to come But what we do is it's kind of like

There's no written rule of no phones but it's like the atmosphere that we've created nobody's on their phone you walk in there's food there's drinks there's board games and there's just like intentional friends and conversations and it has changed it like I don't want to be dramatic but it has changed people's lives they're like I don't feel alone anymore I have community I have friendships I have people I can come see in person and face to face and not just be consumed by a TV screen at home oh which has been really cool how did you how did that like practically i don't want to go too wormhole but because we're going to start we're starting they're starting they're starting

you have to oh we're going to because of you guys it's the best how did you start that how did you did you just say and bring whoever you want how did that happen like practically so part of this is going to sound harsh but a huge belief ander and i have is you are you are you become like you become like the most people you hang what's the thing Can I think of the thing? There we go. Yeah, you become like the five most people we hang around with.

We try very hard to make sure that the people we surround ourselves as well, especially at game nights, because we're introducing new people, are all very high quality individuals who have good souls and good hearts and everything. So we handpick a lot, but at the beginning of it,

we handpicked a group of friends, very smorgasbordish. They're not a clique, they're not a team of any kind. We're like, we love these people. And we said, open door policy at 6 p.m our doors open all food is like we provide all food

we provide all drinks and food and it's just like I come and have fun and the way we started it was it was the first Friday of every month and we texted this group and we said put it on your calendar now first Friday of every month at 6 p.m. our door will unlock and because we trusted this group

we said if you know anybody who needs this bring them and usually the way it's kind of evolved we now have like almost close to 60 people who come. It's amazing. So we have like a very large group text. And there have been people who have, I say, I hate to say that, unfortunately, not been invited back.

But if you don't, if you aren't that good-hearted, sold individual. If you lose, you're not invited back. I mean, we do it. Community is a side effect. I'm there to win. I know you are. We're very protective of the community that we build

and making sure that it's people who want the best for each other so but it is it's truly open door we trust everyone who comes and can i back up a little more than that because we're also in a phase of life where we have young kids and so it's so it's so a lot of our friends are in the same uh phase of life and so we've just said once a month feels like a digestible cadence for everyone to get a babysitter and let's just hang out together and have fun like we try to make it a really attractive experience for people where it's like We have food there. We have the game and all like that.

We kind of do the organization of it so people can just truly take a date night themselves almost. Try to remove any barrier to entry or excuse someone could have to not come. I don't have time to make something. I don't have whatever it is. We're like it's all provided. You have no excuse. But also, for those have been listening for a long time, Sean and I five or six years ago started coming up with annual goal.

which she was kind of alluding to where it was us beginning to like shape of a vision of like hey this this would be really fun like we want to go on a date night once a week like that's a goal right and then you start writing these things down and the first year our goals were like a total of one page on like a Google doc and then once you have the first iteration down then you have something to tweak you have something to add to you have something to refer back to and say actually once a week for date night was too much for us let's like edit that and make it once every other week. But also, I think I would love to do one group date a month with friends. And so, like, you have like a reference point to be like, oh, yeah, I did like that. I didn't like that. And then so now our goals are like five pages each where we've gotten, you know, we've grown this and we've sharpened our vision and what has worked, what hasn't. And part of that too is, so I mentioned RO is a box, but it's also an app, as you've heard.

having something to measure is great. So it's like, hey, let's, you know, we could throw out there. I want to have two hours of, of no screen time a day or whatever it is. It's like, okay, does that work or not? Like, you have to start somewhere, so you have put the goal out there. But then RO allows you to actually measure that. So it's like, hey, we actually weren't on our phone enough to get all the work done that we wanted to or needed to. And you have, again, a reference point to be like, actually, yeah, we could tweak that number up or tweak that number down our RO usage.

I'm going to continue to riff here. I just have a lot of thoughts. The game night, one of the things that shaped that was we have a friend who's Jewish has a family Shabbat every Friday night. Grandpa, grandparents, it's like four generations of family. Get together in this house. They've been doing it for years. No one misses.

How beautiful is that. But one of the things that grandparents do is they hire a butler to serve food and to clean up the dishes. And I was like, wow, really? butler that seemed super fancy and like high end they're like well we're not like eating feasts but my parents my grandparents wanted to do this so that the focus could be each other and it doesn't have to be the meals and it's like again going back to that intentionality it's awesome well we're also and to add to that so within our goals because this was a thing that we started planning from

year like over a year ago and it was in our monthly or our yearly goals we went all the way down to our finances and we said what can we allot monthly to game night to kind of like invest into this community and so we took this butler idea we don't have a butler butler but but we have a friend who is a chef and so with every game night we put it on his calendar he supplies food he helps clean it up and it's one of those things we're like especially for all the new moms there you don't have to worry about your home you don't have to worry nothing it's all. taking care of so you can invest in each other which has been really cool. I love that. Well, it's cool. It's not as if you began with that. It was more let's open up our doors. We'll figure out like people would be like well, I need to have all the stuff. You don't have to highly

produce it, right? I mean, it will evolve over time, but the key is just beginning. You mentioned that awkwardness of like having the intentional conversation. Like let's be friends. I've been fortunate to have a lot of mentors who are comfortable being awkward in that realm and they'll be like, hey,

what's your monthly budget? Or how much money and it's like really good questions where it's like did you just ask me that yeah but one of the things uh this morning i mentioned i have men's group right and uh there's a contract in place for the men's group everyone signs a contract everyone's wives sign a contract this was a concept i got from my mentor who made us do the same thing and i'll never forget how offended i was when he first he first gave me the contract was like hey i want to pour into your life but in order for us to have this type of relationship, here's what I need from you. And it's like, you're going to read the books that I recommend you reading.

You're going to show up with moats. You're going to show up on time. You're going to like, your wife's going to be on board. And I was like, how many conversations do we have for like four months before, like, we signed it? And I was like, all right, it's a one-year thing. It's once a month. Let's just see how it goes. And if we don't like it, we're not into it.

And then by the end of it, we were all in. I was like, the contract is so genius. Because otherwise it's so easy to just be a group of guys who hopes to get together every Friday night and hopes to have quality time about a meaningful subject. So it's like, no, commit to it. And I feel the same way about ARO where it's like, hey, it's a little like jarring. You want me to buy a box and get an app so I can have less screen time. Well, yeah, I do because it's a commitment, dude. And that's it's like.

And I can tell you from experience. everything else does not work. Me too. It's carrying out. So if you show up late or you don't read the book in our men's group, we have a penalty in our iteration where you have to run a mile in under seven minutes. And so anyway, so I unfortunately had to run a mile and I was out there trying to set a PR or whatever. And I was three laps in and I was about to set a PR.

And I was like way ahead of my time. And I was like, you know, it's hurt. the third fourth lap hurt physically and I was I was gone I was like dude I'm I'm good I'm on pace to like do this I know I can break it maybe I should just quit because like this is uncomfortable but I was like no it's actually about doing the thing as opposed to just like no like to Sean's point like oh I know I could use my not use my phone for a day well no do it like you have you have to finish the mile and see the time on the clock there's something intangible that needs to be had as a result of that.

You know what I'm saying? Anyway, we can talk about this afterwards, but I also went through a mentoring experience just like that. It's probably the same program for a year, sign the contract with my wife once a month, three, four hours. And I can, so I went through that as a mentee the next year. I led one, and so there were 15 guys across these two groups. You get to a month where you talk about priorities, right,

goal planning all these things. And they ask the question, or mentor asks a question, what's the number one thing getting in the way of your priorities? Every single guy pulled out their phone. Every single guy. That was early on when I started thinking about this because I said, aha, these are some of the best of the best in terms of attentionality, and they're still struggling with it.

So I think to your point, like no matter your kid's age, if you are a parent, you're starting to feel some tension around this. If you are married, you're starting to feel some tension around this. And you probably have tried things. I tried things. We all have drawers, baskets, cars. You can leave the phone anywhere, right? But I wasn't doing it.

Yeah. Right? And I certainly wasn't getting rewarded or patted on the back for doing it. So I do think there's something, to your point, like, it's really simple. When we told people, we started a business where we asked people to put their phones in a box and people pay for that. Like, well, yeah, it's a little bit more than that, as we've discussed. But yeah, there's a real power in putting your phone down and committing to it. Well, we're used to, we're used to paying money for things.

that help us achieve our goals. You can burn calories for free. You can do push-ups and you can run. Yet, everybody belongs to a gym. We pay a lot of money for gyms and you burn calories there too. Why? Because you're removing friction from doing something that's difficult.

You have accountability, you have a programming, you have all the different things, you have community, all that stuff. So you're removing friction and we pay money towards those things. And I think we're starting to realize how important this is for us to spend time,

more phones and I think the hard thing for people is to acknowledge that it's hard people I should be able to do this on my own absolutely you should it's really hard it's really hard yeah these things are very captivating they're awesome they're great but it's really hard and I think when you acknowledge that when you acknowledge that and get over the fact that oh I should be able to do this on my own that's okay so go to whatever length you need to and here's why because there's so much at stake in your marriage Your marriage depends on it Your kids' futures depend on it This small I know I'm being a little dramatic

But this small act of putting down our phones It depends on that What's at stake is If we don't do something here Our kids will be the first generation of kids Who will die with more of other people's memories On Instagram and TikTok Than memories they create on their own

So we got to do something We have to for their futures We have to go to whatever lengths we need to To make sure they're valuable Teenage Unhappiness is in an all-time high right now now. And I believe in part it's because 15 year olds have grown up with kids who have looked at screens instead of their eyes. So that's what's at stake. And what's at stake in your marriage is literally the future of your marriage. If 86% of successful couples turn towards their

partner's bids for emotional connection, I need to be in that 86%. I need to remove whatever it takes for me to be able to turn physically and emotionally towards my wife's needs. But it's really hard. So whether it's, and when I say go to whatever links, I'm not saying, hey, go to this website and join R. I'm not saying that. I'm saying do whatever you need to do. If it's just the awareness, yeah, I should put it in a drawer. Go put it in a freaking drawer tonight. And that's what's most cool here. The coolest thing we have here is everybody listening can do this today. Go hand it to your wife and say, I want to be fully present with you. Make a production of it. That's okay. It's okay to be a little bit cheesy with it. And say, and when that, when your

daughter says when my 13 year old daughter Gianna comes up and dad can I talk to you yes but first I got to put this away because I want to be fully focused on you make a big deal about it it's really really important to do those things so I think whatever lengths you need to go to you need to go to those lengths because your your kids futures your marriage yourself personally it all depends on your and it sounds crazy on your relationship with your phone I don't think it's being dramatic at all and may I add that like you know maybe someone's listening to that's not married it's like you finding a spouse if that's what you want or you finding someone to be in a relationship with depends on you doing this it's like we we know someone who really wants

to be married and they're on the phone all the time they're like on dates they're on their phone yeah they're on their phone when they're at home they're not that interesting it's like hey put that thing down yeah go explore your passions go be in that conversation be in that date no matter how you know maybe maybe you know two seconds into the date they're not the one fine enjoy that interaction anyway and then move on to the next one but now you know again you have a reference point and i'll also add like i think your purpose depends on it like you're you got to go out there and engage with the world man and i would love for you heath if you could share a little bit about your background entrepreneurly because i think like your story also lends itself to what does it

take to be excellent and to like be successful it's like well you know I'm sure there's phone usage in there but also a lot of presence yeah so could you share about your background yeah I mean I was I guess young and dumb and kind of fell into being an entrepreneur at age 25 26 and I was looking at Vanderbilt for graduate school and I said I'm either going to go to school or I'm going to start a business and I met a couple guys and we said let's just try it and see what happens and fortunately we we we lucked out and created something with a lot of value but it definitely took a lot of commitment discipline. At the same time, I was doing long-distance triathlons as well, which also took a lot of time and discipline. I was thinking when you said earlier, like, I remember one year

training 15, 20 hours a week, the next year training six hours a week, and my time was exactly the same. Yeah. It was just better, smarter, right? My marriage was a lot better too when I was training less. As a side note, anyone thinking about doing that. But I will tell you, yes, intentionality was part of it, but the truth is I was more intentional about the business than I was my family. So a lot of what is built is built upon my failures. I mean, my kids would be the first to tell you, and I can tell you, I told

the story a couple of days on stage and the whole audience gas, but when my son was in fifth grade, he brought home a school project, and on that it said, I want to give my dad this gift for Christmas. He wrote down family time as a fifth grader. So you start

internalizing those things. Like, we talk about them noticing. They notice at a very very young age. What did that really mean. That meant that I was out of town a lot. That meant even when I was home, I wasn't there, right? Emotionally, I wasn't there to go play catch. I remember one day waking up thinking, I have never thrown a baseball with my kids. And we don't play baseball, but still, like that seems like sometimes you probably do. Um, so a lot of this was saying, hey, I'm going to, because I've experienced this, and I don't want others to experience it,

I don't want dads to tell the same stories that I tell. Like, we're going to fix this. And we're going to, we're going to help young families like yours and others. Like, we're going to, we're going put you on a different trajectory. The good news is my kids my kids love RO they're using it now I think they're on a good path but man I had a decision to make I had a choice to make to say like are you going to continue down this path and in some ways like further isolate yourself be known as being an entrepreneur and not as a husband and a father that was a big choice right because you can get your identity wrapped up in whatever it is you're good at whether it's athletics or business or somewhere in between and I had been moving on that path and I just finally woke up one day and I had a mentor that's

actually when I went through that mentoring experience that was a change for me. It broke me down and said hey man you're not living the way you need to live like you yes you're successful one area of life but you're giving it up and you're sacrificing everything else but the great thing about my story is I went through those experiences we're turning it into something positive and he gave me a foundation for understanding how to start a business, you know, the principles along with that. And when we started our O, we sat down with our team and we said, hey, guys, we're doing this differently. Yeah.

Like, we're starting a business that says, we're going to value family, we're going to value family time, we're going to value being intentional. That means we have to show that. We have to demonstrate that as an organization. So think twice when you send a Slack update or an email at 11 p.m., right? Or you're working on a Saturday, you know, or when someone says, hey, I need to, I want to go do something with my kid or leave early for a soccer game. Like, that's what we want people to do, right?

And we'll sacrifice maybe a little business growth for that, but that's okay, right? Well, I'll say also, Heath's wife, Misty, this is one that's probably a year ago or so, they were on vacation, and I was texting Heath. She texted me, she goes, we're on vacation, you need to stop texting Heath about work. It's great. So we've invited all the families into it as well. They have full license to say, hey, listen, you're not practicing what you're preaching. you're not living it out. One thing I love about Heath's story that you say often is that you could have, what is the view, you could have traveled, you know, 80% less and still sold the business for the same amount you did. We put too much value on ourselves sometimes. Andy Stanley says our only unique job is that as a parent. That's it. That's our end as a spouse. Like that's our unique job. We're replaceable in every other area of life. And I think what's fun, and this is a little bit humbling, but when you put your phone down, you realize you're not that important. You really do. Like,

it's not that important. You're not that important. I don't mean you specifically, Andrew, but I'm not that important, right? Like, who cares? Like, and you start to condition people like, oh, he probably has his phone in the box, so he's not going to reply for a while, as opposed to them thinking they, you know, deserve or expect a reply within seconds. So even just that simple change can change how much interactivity you have on the other side of your screen, right? Because too many of us are conditioned, and in turn, the other folks are conditioned for that immediate response. Joe was out on a walk one day and his Kristen came looking for him

because he hadn't responded for 45 minutes, right? Think about that. I love the story of his wife texting you, Joey, and stop texting. It's like, there's three couples we have like that relationship with where it can be like super direct and it's like, man, the

way you have that relationship as couples is like by being intentional. You know what I'm saying? So I like, man, I want that. I love those relationships that we have that are similar to that but it's like that that's over years of yes building this habit um man that's really good i also i mean this there's so many podcasts out there of like how to build and sell a business yeah heath you've done it a lot of podcasts about

you know how to biohack yourself and jump in the sauna and do the ice bath and do the entrepreneur thing or like sports shows whatever what i love about this show and this audience is like Like, I think it really is people who aspire to put family in that top spot. It's like, man, yeah, I want to be a better dad than I want to make a million dollars. You know, I want that, I want to be a better dad more than that. And I think, you know, your story, your story are both testament of, like, walking away from his careers that you initially sought out to find fulfillment in or like excitement or whatever. And then realizing, oh, man, no, no, no, this is the good stuff.

When I'm in the playroom with my kid, when they're two, that's the good stuff, you know? It's not like the check hit in the account. Freaking, dang, no. Don't miss it. I interrupted you. It is the good stuff. It's so right.

I get choked up hearing you say that. It's just, again, this picture of Drew, your three-year-old daughter, jumping up and down saying I'm going on a date with daddy. Man, oh, man, that's the good stuff. That's better than anything. That is. We're trying. I think that's why we love you guys so much.

We love what you created and I was just out here thinking like I pray everyone listening doesn't think this is an hour long ad It's not That's why we love the product so much as we love the mission behind it We love why you created this. It's what we stand for It's why we created family made It was just trying to build intentionality and Just thank you guys for it Well one thing I want to add on is for people listening is about the two of you and you two

everybody listening are the real real real deal I mean the the the authenticity and the genuineness that you hear when you hear them speak is real I mean you go to dinner with them they're asking the the server's name say what you know what's your name just like that personalization and social and kind and everything you hope Sean and Andrew are they are exactly that and so it's really I think it's important people to hear that because they they probably see a persona and don't know what the reality is the persona is the reality you guys are the real you were wonderful parents you have a great marriage you're so intentional um so i appreciate the

the message you're continuing to speak out to people it's encouraging and stuff people can act on now i appreciate that um james clear's book the atomic habits he talks about you're not fit when you finally hit your like weight goal or like lose x amount of pounds like you're fit when you decide that you want to make the change so for those listening that have tried different methods of unprisoning yourself from your device we'll link

Joe N. Heath's product RO down below. Look into it. I mean, why not? Yeah. This could potentially unlock

a lot of life for you. So check it out. We're happy to answer any more questions, but I love, I mean, you guys are kind of experts in this world

and I've heard so many stories as a result of your product. and i've put a lot of thought into this and um you know we were discussing a little last night it's like maybe some people do admire sean and i and gosh if there's anything they do admire it's only because we've been intentional with it and so like you can't can't be that way while you're on your phone so i'm super appreciative to know you guys i'm excited to uh make the top five best friends list at some point yeah yeah you're on there no best friend top four

I don't know. I have to bump somebody. Yeah, I appreciate you guys coming to Nashville, coming to town. You're a good time, and great mission here. Thanks, well, we appreciate it. I'll give one last thing, and this is just directly to the fellas listening, just to the guys,

and we've found that moms are leading the way here, and the one reason, if someone returns, we have very few returns, but the ones we do, it's normally because they say my husband wouldn't get on board. So I would love for the guys listening to leave the charge here To be responsive when your wife initiates But maybe even get ahead of it and initiate yourself

When your wife brings something like this Whether it's RO or saying you're on your phone too much There's a subtle the subtle bid for connection When they say something like that Listen to that lean into that And say you're right and respond Hand her your phone again like you said This is not an ad for R or it's really not

It's that's the least of my concern It's really for someone to live that lifestyle But I just would scream to the fellas here. Sometimes we need our shoulder shaking a little bit and let this be your shoulder shake and listen and engage with your kids and take the lead on that and don't wait for your wife to lead for you.

And that's wonderful if they do. That's why our wives are great. But respond to her initiation and get ahead of it and initiate yourself for that connection. They're crying out for connection with us. People are begging for someone to step up and be a leader.

It's like, man, so have that awkward conversation. and organize a game night, have that awkward conversation with your wife about buying an RO or whatever you're looking at. But step up and be the leader because I guarantee you there will be an excitement when you say this is the direction I want to go in and people see the value and the mission in that.

So anyway, that's how we got. Heath, Joey, what a pleasure. Thank you all. Appreciate it.