Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew - 188 | pregnancy q&a

Episode Date: November 1, 2023

We did this weeks episode LIVE and answered all of your questions that you had about pregnancy! If you haven't already please come join us at our live event this Saturday, November 1st from 10AM-4PM! Buy tickets here https://www.familymade.com/live Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you're with Amex Platinum, you get access to exclusive dining experiences and an annual travel credit. So the best tapas in town might be in a new town altogether. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Terms and conditions apply. Learn more at Amex.ca. and we should be going live we're live we're live we're live what's up everybody welcome back to couple things with Sean and Andrew a podcast all about couples and the things they go through we have not done a live

stream probably for good reason for a very long time for 11 months because why is it for good reason you ask, Andrew? Because technical difficulties are my favorite. Yeah. We actually, we're going to try something new out this morning. You can actually go live now with some other people on YouTube. You were going to try something. By we, I mean specifically me.

Yeah. Hey, babe. Yes? You know what? What? We're learning. Your haircut looks so handsome. I appreciate that.

Oh, look, we got Mandy Nolan on. Hello, Mandy. I'm also chatting you. We also got Alicia. Who wants to be in charge of the chat? Do you want me to? I will. You want to do that?

And then you'll field the questions too. Yeah. Okay, Sean's going to do the questions. And wait, babe, there's more. Not only do we have one camera angle, we have two camera angles. Okay. How fancy is that? Anyway, today we wanted to do a live question and answer.

So we are live on YouTube for those listening to this later on the podcast. And we're going to be going through some questions that we see in the live chat and answering them. But first, should we debrief last night? Yes. Let's do it. So it is November 1st, which means we get to play Christmas music all day. And I get to tell everybody about you and Jets costume, babe. Well, I was a little apprehensive about this because I wasn't sure if he was going to be down to do it.

But I got my pilot's license earlier this year. Pretty exciting. Also, Top Gun came out last year. So we figured let's dress up as Matt. Mav and Goose from Top Gun. Jet on the home stretch was trying to pivot to being Spider-Man. Yep. And so last minute, as soon as I put on my pilot outfit, he ended up being game to match daddy.

So we put on the sunglasses, did the whole thing. I have learned, though, in the comments of the picture I posted that are you Mavvin Goose? Mavvin rooster Honestly, I don't know I don't know But it was adorable We had toothpicks And Jet was

Full steam ahead Living up to his name Jet When we were trick-or-treating Running from door to door to door Like the kid is fast And then literally laid down In the street In front of our house

And we were done It was also freezing Here in Nashville Yeah Tell us in the chat What your Halloween outfits where Sean was looking adorable as a witch. You looked really adorable.

Thanks. And Drew. Drew was adorable. Drew dressed up as Cinderella. Months ago, we started talking about Halloween, Drew's birthday, and Drew was convinced, like 100% all in.

She wanted to be ghost spidey. So we got the ghost spidey costume. We've been living in it, counting down the days. Halloween comes around. Drew, you want to get your ghost Spidey costume? No, Mama. I'm going to be Cinderella.

I was like, wow. All righty. But I'm really excited and thankful that she did Cinderella because this might be the last year she's into princess dresses. And that makes me sad to say. Let us know your Halloween costumes,

but we have some questions rolling through here. Okay, let's dive in. Mariel says you look cute, pregnant. I couldn't agree more. Thank you. I feel so cute. guys. It's so attractive.

Timothy and Emerald are driving through Nashville right now. Hello. Welcome to Tennessee. Logan's from Des Moines. Do you see any questions in there? I do. Question. How did you guys handle early miscarriage? Everyone handles it differently, but it's tough

no matter what. There's another similar question that says, how did you navigate getting excited, feeling happy about pregnancies after two miscarriages. um i don't know after our first one it was difficult i felt like i internalized a lot i definitely showed emotion that i couldn't like keep in you know i was really sad i also felt terrible going through it like actually physically terrible what did it feel like um i felt like the worst flu i've

ever had in my life like my body hurt my head hurt i felt sick i feel like i couldn't even get up off the bathroom floor so there's just like a lot I felt guilty I felt like it was something that I did I felt like I started to question my abilities as a mother if I'd ever be able to be pregnant um all these things and I internalized a lot of it but in time I was able to voice more and more with Andrew how it affected me and we just kind of worked through it together how would you say the whole thing is so humbling humbling man it's so humbling because there's a million

different thoughts that you have that are fully justified in the moment like that that question of will we ever be able to have kids is really it's a real unknown and it's like one miscarriage is that an indicator that we're just not compatible in that way like

and you don't know what road you're about to embark on from this point forward so it was overwhelming um for sure i can't imagine having a miscarriage late no pregnancy though because the bonding that that i've seen you experience with the baby there's less of a physical representation you know like that would be really difficult um well and that's something that i was thinking about because my mom had a miscarriage before me at five months and I started thinking after our first one am I going to go down that same route and you asked how do we handle pregnancies after that it's difficult it's difficult to really like connect or bond right away like I guard myself a lot and almost like I don't know sometimes I assume something bad's

going to happen so I'm like oh I just can't let myself get too excited so it's just it's a whole process whole process guys whole process um Andrew what baby names do we love but won't be using should I pull up our list sure here's Sean and I have a running list ever since we had Drew

of baby names we also did that if you remember the Tinder for baby names yep which we should do a video of like also oh my gosh this is a crazy no we did a podcast interview and probably will do a main channel YouTube video

on a girl who one will create a baby name for you if you pay her she'll like do this whole genealogy history and then whatever but she also predicted our baby names

she looks at your demographic where you live are you in the south where are you from and then she says well there's likely a pool of five names that you would choose from and all the ones she chose this time around I will see she didn't choose

our girl or a boy name this time around but every single name she chose for us was like on our list she chose it in her in her small pool she didn't choose it as her as what she was betting our one name would be you know she said there's a group of three to five names

and she guessed one of the girls are I believe so I don't really well anyway so look forward to that episode we liked Devin for a girl we like Devin oh here's our girl's name Rylan Rose Lennon Joy

Devin Rose Devin Joy McLean was on there Blake For a girl Maddie Marlow Tobin Landon Harlow and Kyler I still love Tobin and I still love Kyler

Man these are some millennial names We're really doing it And then what about boys' names Trey Kennedy would be proud of us right now Oh so our like locked in boys' name when we had Drew because we didn't know what she was going to be

was Griffin which we loved it was going to be Griffin Dean yes here's some boy names that we had Bo yep Bo Douglas Mac

Cohen Penn Sutton Ray Landon Lincoln Raiden Lane Cade Gunner was on there Jude Cade and Mads You added some of these dark horse

Yeah I like I met a little Gus last night Which was adorable Really? Yeah he was like two His name was Gus I was like that's adorable

Okay Anyways I'm excited for you guys To hear what our names are This time around Andrew Yes Can you recommend some books

That discuss fathers Raising Daughters Oh Okay Big reader Here is my list of books that I've read right here. Love it.

I have a Google Doc trying to make like a life table of contents so that I can pull up easily referenceable books in situations like these. And now that I'm in a situation like this, do I have one ready? No, I've read several, but none that I'm crazy about.

One is strong fathers, strong daughters. It's okay. I think it's okay. Another is, well, I actually bought all of these books, like women, you know, how do you do this right? And I don't have an answer for you yet, but challenge accepted. Okay. Andrew, another one for you.

People are... I have one. Okay. If you're looking for a bedtime story, seven women by Eric Metaxus is pretty good. Okay. But probably for an older. Yeah, an older person. Okay.

Andrew Nate says He's getting married in four days Let's go Any advice for being a new husband First of all Congratulations Are you picking out questions just for me?

No, these are in order I love it This has been a revelation That I've recently come to It might take you several years For you to come to it And coming to it on your own is probably more powerful than someone telling it to you.

Sean and I's first year marriage was difficult. It was. Because, not necessarily because we weren't vibing, but because of external circumstances. We were traveling all over the country, moving all over the country. Sean did a tour. We weren't really together.

Andrew was bouncing in the NFL. He got cut for the first time. Thanks, baby. You don't have to throw that in there. I mean, geez. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. um but there was a lot of conflict and i used to get like so frustrated one discouraged at like

dang we're having a lot of conflict that's a bummer this now this isn't how it's quote unquote supposed to be um and then i was also frustrated because i was like why can't sean just see my perspective on things like you know whether it be travel schedule or finances or what you know our living situation and then i realized just recently that uh her perspective and the the compromise that we came to ultimately in each of these decisions was a way better place for us to end up than me just having my way or her just having her way and i heard um the the the term eve in the bible like Adam and Eve, in Hebrew means beneficial adversary. If you think about like this refining that takes place, a little tug of war, like, one,

it softened my reception of Sean's different perspective and made me understand like, oh, this is really helpful. And then two, it actually encouraged me to be more forthcoming with my opinions, but in a gentle way, like in a beneficial way. Like, so that's important. Those are a couple things. I think your first year of marriage is going to be hard because there's just, everything's new because you're married.

And I think the best thing to remember is you guys are teammates. You're not on opposite teams, you know, on opposite sides. That's huge. So remember that everything she says, everything you say, like you're trying to find a common ground. You're not trying to be right or trying to be, you know, to win. you're working together and also just take heart that there's phases like there will be tough phases so keep pushing through but you are embarking on the greatest adventure that life has to offer i think um so congrats next up a lot of questions about just like how am i feeling um good

tired uncomfortable today is a rough day for some reason just super crampy and like Braxton Hixie has that gone down

no just don't feel great today but you know what it's okay are you still worried no I just don't feel great today but it's okay do you need an ice bath

that doesn't sound good right now but do you need a massage uh no i just need to get work done today okay you know what's funny is my i twitch is still here um but we're counting down the days get through november and then we're basically there hey for those listening live if you could hit the like button the thumbs up that'd be great we got almost 300 people tuned in and we have actually we lied we've done a live stream since December we used to do those amp shows every single Monday and I miss it um is there something that we're looking forward to experiencing as parents of three kids I think sorry no I think the biggest transition in

numbers of kids I mean I we don't know yet but in my mind I feel like it's going to have been one to two because as an only child The hubris, the pride, which with, you say this before. I'm not saying it's not going to be like shock value. Okay. Or like overwhelming. I know that. But I think being an only child, that's kind of all I knew.

Yes. So now having experience to multiple kids, I think has opened this whole perspective to me of like what it's like to have multiple kids. Oh, man. And it's so cool to like see their different dynamics and their different personalities and to help foster. are their different passions and I think what I'm most excited about with a third is just a third person

like a third human that's completely different than Drew and Jet that interacts with them as siblings I'm just excited to like see their little personality me too I'm excited about that I'm also excited

to see you sorry us you know there's there's a degree of chaos that's added with every child and it forces you as a parent to parent differently so you're less controlling which i think is really healthy you know like it's less of this obsessive parenting so i'm excited for us to experience that together also i'm just eagerly anticipating what the experience is going to be like because it seems to go one of two ways some people we talk to are like ah after you have

two it's easy you might as well just keep going after that some people are like Three kids destroyed our life. Yeah. So it seems to be very drastic, drastically different experiences. Allison said, any push presents. I saw that question, Allison. Did you not want me to bring it up? Thank you so much, Allison.

Mandy said, I feel like it's so hard to keep your marriage front and center when you have kiddos. I love that you two do a weekly date night. I think that it's super important. It's very hard to do. I know it's not a question. But I have the same panic attack with every, or like I've had the same panic attack with every pregnancy. When I get into like the 30s, weeks, you know,

when I get close to D-Day, I start having these like, I get super clingy with Andrew because I start getting scared of what another baby is going to do to our marriage. And we work really, really hard to keep our marriage front and center, like you said and with every baby I'm like oh just don't forget about me do you think I'm gonna forget about you our kids are really cute girl you know that saying squeaky wheel gets the oil you are a squeaky wheel ain't nobody ain't nobody forgetting about you girl you know what I mean like I remember having drew in thinking is a baby gonna make me lose my best friend because

like we're going to become mom and dad and so it just like it gets a little scary i haven't really felt that like i haven't felt like i'm just a dad it still felt like a team project between you and me i also feel like it might be a little bit more on the mom's side because i've been very open and saying postpartum is very hard for a mom because you you feel like you lose every ounce of identity you have outside of being a mom because the baby's so dependent on you your whole body is like sacrificed for your kid yeah you're not really like having sexy time and going on dates right after like you have a baby and like all these things so it's you kind of lose i lose the wife thing for a little bit and it gets scary no no but don't box

don't box in what it means to be a wife you know i'm saying it's not like you're not just some physical meat box I pretty much am for the first for the baby not for the any

yeah oh wow you're well a slight miscommunication wow yeah yeah

um oh should we tell the people what we got going on this weekend because yeah we're really excited about this

in May we partnered up with the I am mom Summit team and Jamie at I Am Mom Summit who has put on a wonderful event for moms it's like a live event they bring in experts everything from like first aid lessons for how you like do CPR and your child to counselors talking about how do you raise daughters it's like a conference where you get to

celebrate moms educate moms and like give back to moms so we partnered up with her to put on a broader event for families and this past year has been really fun for Sean and I because we've been challenged in ways that we didn't dream of being challenged and we have kind of been forced to decide what type of family we want to have and how intentional with family we want to be there's been a lot of factors that played into that including the loss of my dad who like very much drove the family culture And so now it's like, okay, well, who's going to take charge of that for me and my siblings and my mom, but also am I doing that with our family? So we did this whole three-day workshop, and we wanted to provide a similar experience, probably less intense experience produced by the I-MOMS summit squad.

And so this Saturday in Nashville, if you're interested, we are hosting the Family Made Live Nashville edition. It's our first time doing something like this, but we have a wonderful line. up of speakers, including Justin Whitmore Early, who wrote a book called Habits of the Household that drastically shaped and encouraged Sean and I's parenting journey. We have Sissy Goff, who we have previously interviewed, who is an amazing counselor here in Nashville. We have a bunch of influencers who live in the family space, and they are very vulnerable about sharing their families with you guys, and they're going to be here for question and

answers and meet and greet. But the reason we're excited is this. you know, there's no shortage of wild world events happening right now, wars and political unrest and economic uncertainty. And so it's like, why are we talking about family? Well, because family is the intersection and the interface of all of these different topics. And if we can create strong family cultures, which is hopefully going to be progressed this weekend, encouraging you to think about what's your family mission statement, what your family values, all these different things, how can you do family more intentionally? If we could do that well, then that's really the fabric of society. And it's like, if you can have hard discussions as a family, you could probably have better hard discussions with strangers. And if you can think critically about how your kids interact with technology, then you could probably interact with technology more thoughtfully. And it's like, it's so important. And so we're doing this event.

And it's Saturday, November 4th, 10 to 4 downtown Nashville. We did just get a text that we only have 16 tickets left. Are you super serious right now? Only 16. Let's go, babe. So if you are interested in coming, I highly recommend you buy your tickets now because we do have a capacity that we're not allowed to go over. So there's 16 spots left.

And also, the other event we're doing for the first time, Sean is... Okay, we don't have to announce that yet. Okay, the Christmas thing? Yeah. Okay, well, stay tuned because we're doing a fun Christmas thing, but we're not going to talk about it now. Anyway, I have a three-part question for you, Andrew,

because I feel like I just talked about this a little bit, but I'd love to have your perspective as husband. Okay. Alicia says, Sean, any advice for a new mom? You'll see why I'm going to pivot this to you. She said, I'm 15 weeks pregnant, and I'm terrified. I'm scared. My marriage will fall apart,

and I'm not going to be able to bond. I'm feeling so sick and scared that I won't be able to do this. I just talked about how this is a fear that I've had. I would be curious, Andrew, what are ways that, like, husbands can, because a lot of things change. Like the physical things change, emotional needs change. What are ways that you can actively work on, like, protecting the bond between husband and wife? um the saying to know is to love comes to mind i think about that saying all the time it's so simple

but it's so true and it's like i think there's time and curiosity are the two things that come to mind um shot and i last week had a tough week and it it's like that's that can be special or that can be disheartening it's like we can use those conflicts and those arguments as as something that will soon look back on and be like hey remember when we made it through that and it's like this rallying call of like yo we did that we figured that out or we support each other through that or it can be this bummer of like a dang I can't believe we're arguing but time in marriage I think is really valuable because when you spend time with somebody you can get to know them better you know and then there's

there's their curiosity that can come and stem from hey why are you feeling upset or why are we why are we in this tough place like what's your goal with this you know what so those two things i do want to point this out though to alicia and to you andrew of like this is a really common feeling for women to feel because so much of you changes when you're pregnant i told ander I was like I just don't feel like myself and it's hard to like feel confident in my marriage and confident in my identity

and confident in my work and stuff when I don't even feel like me and there's so much uncertainty with being pregnant like you fear delivery and you feel caring to term and you fear what another baby is going to do to your family and like all these different things

add into that your most stable foundation is your husband in your marriage and it's like well is this going to change that too it's just like it rocks your world as a woman

and all I can say is like take a deep breath communicate share your feelings and if you are a husband listening reassure your wife as silly as it sounds

even if you have to be like babe I will never stop loving you even if it seems like the most like yeah like duh thing say it out loud we are in such in such like irrational phases of our life where our brains are being hijacked by hormones say the most basic things and reassure your wife and sometimes

there'll be moments where it feels awkward it's like oh is this the right time for me to say this mushy thing yes when it comes to your wife the answer is yes especially if she's pregnant Also, there will be times where it's like I've felt this feeling of wanting to dig my heels in and like it's more emotional I feel like when it comes to parenting a lot of times. And I would just say soften. Like when you're at the fork in the road of like should I double down and dig my heels in and like let emotions take over or soften and like just lay it down? I don't know. Like that's a really hard discipline. But when I've done that, it's paid off.

um next up so i was going to do a three part but i feel like we covered all those all the parts um next step is how are we going to handle drew's disappointment if this baby is a boy it's so true after seeing how excited is she is for a girl does it make us want to know the gender ahead of time to prepare her for this i have thought about this a lot i'm dying to know what we're having i'm so excited and I've honestly started having more conversations with her of like, Drew, if this new baby is a boy, is that going to be okay? And she's been saying yes. I think she's so excited for a baby.

And I think she is in like this phase of being such a little mama that it's not going to matter. I'm sure there's going to be disappointment that she can't dress them up like princesses and have a girl best friend. But she loves Jett so much. I think she will love a baby boy just as much as well. I agree. She's such a caretaker. It's amazing.

Man, I'm excited to watch her. It's good. I think Rachel asked what happened to my shin. I do that Datter-Days. I do a Datter-Days workout every Saturday morning with a group of insane athletes. I'm talking Navy Seals, Army Rangers, CrossFit Games, level athletes. and they wanted to do rope climbs.

And so I was wearing like a cushion over my shin and it's still rope burned me through that. And then Jett stomped on it with his rain boots. So that hurt. Oh. Tay Smith asks, do we have any advice for a couple trying to get pregnant? Did you find it hard to separate the quote,

work of getting pregnant and having sexy time be just that connection between husband and wife? man we went through some phases with that yes just yes that can get tough i'll never forget it's like you're doing naked time and then i would get a heady it's like yeah i was like oh dang you know we have this small window and then i it didn't end well yeah or i would get or i would get heady i'd be like this isn't how you're supposed to make a baby it's not romantic like i don't want to just be I don't want to just do it to like yes oh my gosh it feels animalistic all

like scientific and it just doesn't it just takes out the romance and so something that i started doing with jet and drew when we were trying for both or jet and this baby so the second and third baby um is for whenever we decided we were going to start trying or like you know we were both on the same page I would start tracking my ovulation but I wouldn't tell Andrew like when it was time and I'm sure like you can put two and two together

I didn't know this until just now so good to know but I always told myself because we've had miscarriages because we've had a harder time getting pregnant with some of our babies than others I always said for the first year of trying I'm not going to tell him

when go time is only because it usually takes about a year to get pregnant and if it still doesn't work in a year then we'll take it up a notch and get a little bit more scientific with it but things just tend to happen better and we connect better

when it's more of like this oh my wife is interested you know rather than oh babe we have to do this right now yeah they happen better but unfortunately for Sean, it's never great, you know, if you know what I'm saying. Excuse me? What does that mean?

Just self-deprecation jokes. I like it. No. Hey. I do think, though, in those, there's, like, room for humor, you know? This is where, like, having a sense of humor comes in, where if everybody knows the situation and it's not romantic, then I think there's, you could kind of bond over the ridiculousness of it all.

Well, and even to give, like, more context to it, if I, like, tracked my ovulation in the morning, that gives me all day to, like, prepare or make it known to Ander that, like, I'm interested in trying. And it's not, it's just not like a, take your clothes off. We got to get this over with. But sometimes it is. What? Nothing. You know, like, don't self-deprecate it. I'm sorry.

Ariana says that she's been dying for all your book recommendations to be put in one easy to find location. She loves our recommendations. Okay, we will do that. We have done, we did an email newsletter on some of our favorite books. So if you didn't know, we do have a weekly email newsletter that goes out. I think it's weekly. So check that out. And then I'll also put thought into how we can do that.

But also, Brooke asked about advice for supplements and pre-nettles that you take. I was going to say we've had a lot of advice for supplements and prenatals and a lot of people saying how do you get through first trimester with morning sickness and taking prenatals and then another person saying feeling dizzy and weak like all these things yes um prenatals I have bounced around with I love the care of ones because they all come in like one um little package but I am the same way where I rarely take prenatals in my first trimester, which I feel like is probably the most important time to take them because I'm so nauseous and I get migraines and all this stuff. So I usually get better and better with prenatals the closer to delivery, which I feel like is probably backwards, but whatever. Other supplements, the weak and dizzy,

I would make sure you know you communicate that with your OB. I was feeling very weak, very tired. um getting a lot of headaches restless leg carpal tunnel all these things come to find out i was super anemic so i started a very heavy-duty iron supplement i'm also on magnesium magnesium helps with my restless leg and my achy joints um there's just a lot so i would say when it comes to supplements it's the best the best thing you can do is have a very open conversation with your OB. Like I, before I found the care of ones that worked really well,

certain prenatals would make me more nauseous or like constipated or give me worst headaches. And I would just talk to my OB and she'd be like, okay, go try this brand. Go try this brand. Like they're all a little bit different. So just keep trying until you find one that works. Yeah. Katie asked, did we have to get a larger vehicle to accommodate three kids?

We did. We did. And we're still taking recommendations because Sean doesn't like what Sean's very small if he didn't know. She's 4 foot 11 and she's driving now this three row Yukon, Yukon X-L, which is great for I think it's great. I don't like driving it. It's big. I can't see anything. I can't see the ground.

I can't see the hood of the car. I literally have to rely on the cameras. So it's mini van time, people. Let's go. Allison asks if we're writing a book. We are. We started it four months ago, five months ago? Yes.

We'll probably need at least another year. Longer. Well, yeah, we'll need a year to write it and then it won't launch for a long time. But we're really, really excited about it. We have talked about writing a book. and we have been pitched to write books for years and years and years. But finding something that we're both so passionately, like, confident we can write about.

We don't want to, like, preach marriage, because we're still trying to figure it out. We've had people give us offers to write a book on marriage, and we will not do that. No, because we don't know. It's like we're seven years in. We don't know anything. You don't even want our advice.

Well, what a book on a marriage for my? that's why we started a podcast on couples so we could learn how to do it from like interview people who actually know what they're talking about but um but we did find something that we're so excited to write about and give insight on and give anecdotes on and yeah so this is the way the book process has gone because i knew nothing about it sean's written two or three three it's been really fascinating and we're going to co-author this one i think but essentially you say okay i want to write a book or someone says you should write a book and then you're like okay what should i write a book on and it's you know there's a lot of sean could easily write like a celebrity memoir i feel like

but that doesn't really add value to the world you know if you just tell all these stories and like do an expose on whatever nonsense like which there's plenty of things a lot of people do memoirs and they're beautiful like we've read a lot of memoirs

that we love we just didn't feel like a memoir and our yes sorry I'm 32 years old Sean is 31 so a memoir doesn't even make sense but so then it's like okay well what would we write a book on

what are we like well positioned to talk about and that took a long time of like you know two or three times a week week discussing this topic. That took months to figure out, hey, this is one potential thing. And then you got to kind of map it out and be like, okay, well, what would chapters be like and poke holes in it and say, well, does this make sense from all different ankles?

And what if this happens in relation? So then now we've actually almost finalized a proposal that then we'll send out to different publishing companies who will then say, yeah, will publish your book to give us like a deal but then it takes a year to write the book and then you have to go through rounds of edits and then even when the book is finalized you probably have like three to six months before it's launched and then you have to do all this marketing stuff so we have a lot it's a lot we have a lot of stuff to do before we get there but we're really excited I would say this I would say our goal is to finish it next year and launch it early 25

end of 24 we'll see keep us accountable here because we don't want to come across as experts in this topic so it's more of like hey

this is an exploratory topic and we'll tell you more later but anyway I know what other questions are so big um let's see well Rebecca was saying

I was so low in iron that I had to get iron IV infusions while pregnant and even right after delivery I know that's what my OB is starting to have conversations about with me if my levels don't come back up

guys my like levels were so low I'm going to give numbers but I guess it doesn't make sense to give numbers if people don't understand numbers well just say numbers you're supposed to be like in the hundreds with your ferretin levels which is like iron

and my level was 10 not good not great not good oh here's one from Haley Sean what's your biggest piece of advice for pregnant ladies

struggling with body image I think I've struggled with body image worse with this pregnancy than any other I think your body's just change more and more and differently and I think it's natural

your body is being hijacked by a little person. And I think the best thing you can do is reiterate to yourself every single day that your body is changing because it is supposed to and that's what's best for your baby.

And your body is not yours right now. So what it looks like, what it feels like doesn't matter. And when you have the baby, we'll take it one day at a time. But I also think community is really important. So like voicing that to someone, having them help coach you through your hardest times is really, really important. You've done a good job.

Thanks, baby. What about that? Thank you. I think for me saying that I've had a hard time with body image this time around, two C-sections with Drew and Jett kind of took a toll on my body where it wasn't as much like how I felt I looked in a mirror, but I just didn't feel strong. I didn't feel like myself. So I worked really, really hard after Jet

to, like, rehab my body and get my body back to a place that I felt confident and comfortable and strong in. And it was like right as I was feeling strong, got pregnant again, which is amazing. I was so excited to get pregnant. But it's like to see all that work kind of undone so quickly has made me like a little bit more self-concern.

just this time around. Chelfop says that you look really beautiful though and thank you. She loves how you're not wearing makeup and I agree. Sean last night when her little witch costume you look so cute, dude. Thank you.

Also you're a cute pregnant lady. Thanks. Thank you baby. I'd try to get you pregnant even if you already were pregnant. Yeah. I don't think that's how it works. what's been the most rewarding thing about parenting each kid I just think the whole process is so wonderful I love it it's like an ego check it's an inject it's an inject of the most meaningful things in life,

it totally shifted Sean and I's priorities and what we thought a meaningful life look like. We were like traveling the world, chasing dreams, and now I can honestly say there's no place I'd rather be than in the playroom with my kids. And there's something like beautifully simple about that. And then you realize, I don't need to go to exotic places to find happiness.

This is it right here. And so it forces you to be in the moment. It forces you to appreciate what you have. It forces you to let go of control and loosen the reins. It forces you to realize what your own limits are, to realize that you can't do it all or control it all. And then to get to know,

know a kid so well and to see them learn a word today that they didn't know yesterday or learn how to giggle today when they didn't know how to yesterday it's like seeing these slight changes and growth is so it's it's like really hard to describe right the the harder things in parenting are easy to describe oh you lose sleep and you can't travel as much and flying on an airplane is more difficult. But the good things are a little more abstract and ambiguous. But it's so deep. I love it.

Adding to that, going more specific to Drew and Jet, I think it's been so rewarding and cool. To be challenged as a parent to notice and identify how different our kids are, and learning how to celebrate their differences equally is so challenging, but also so cool. Like to be able to see Jet go running out into the garage because all he wants to do is ride a bike

and ride a bike for the first time with no training wheels and be screaming at the top of your lungs because you're so excited. Only then to turn around. and hear Drew say, Mama, I want to go do a science experiment. Yeah. And instead of like, be like, no, baby,

how about you try the bike? It challenges you as a parent to be like, oh, yes, that's so cool and so exciting. Let's go to a science experiment. Like, learning how to foster that in both of them has been really challenging but cool. Caitlin says, Andrew, no launching new podcasts the week the baby is born this time.

For those of you didn't know, that's the origin story of this podcast. It was when we had Drew four years ago. We launched his podcast. We've been doing this for four years. Yikes. Anyway, I'm glad you brought that up, Caitlin, because we will be launching a new series. No, we will not. I'm kidding.

Andrew literally launched this podcast four days after Drew was born. And then I almost killed him, you know? Moving on. Allison asks, how do you combat mom guilt when it sneaks up on you, Sean? take a deep breath and shrug it off i come back or i feel mom guilt all time like i felt it yesterday i was feeling so tired and run down and i desperately wanted a nap we had our nanny over who was watching the kids i had finished work early that day and i was like you know what i should just send her home because i don't have work like i'm home i should be with my

kids I should be fully engaged but yet I was really needing a nap and I was so tired and I was like you know what take a deep breath get rid of the mom guilt they're having so much fun they're being loved take care of your body take care of this baby go take a nap and I think it's just like you have to try to be you have to be able to like take a step back and be like is this irrational or is this makes sense that's where life's a long game dude it's like yeah uh sacrifice today to make the next week better you know what i'm saying and by that it's like take a nap today so that you could be a better mom for the next week yeah yeah

i don't know or just be a better mom for the rest of the day like yeah it's hard it's a long game um abby's pregnant sorry abby we're reading the same comments go for it abby's first pregnancy uh she's doing march best advice to remember while planning, picking doctors, finding the right products, and not becoming overwhelmed with it. Do one thing at a time. You do not need everything before you have the baby. I feel like the biggest misconception that like our culture these days

tries to like push on new moms is you need to make a baby registry and get all your stuff ready and have your nursery ready and have every product you could ever need for your kid stocked and ready before the baby even gets there. False. The only thing you need. need right to deliver out of hospital is a pediatrician so do that call all your pediatricians or like any pediatrician around ask friends who they go to ask your OB go do interviews and find one and then I promise

you this when you get home with a new baby you will know what you need as it happens the baby will spit up on you you'll be like oh I need a burp cloth maybe I should order a couple off of Amazon it's not like dire so just take it slow and there's no right or wrong product by the way every baby likes things differently every mom likes things differently

it's all by preference yeah I was explaining that or thinking about that the other day someone and it's like we love sharing products with y'all because if you find the right product as a parent can really change the game for you

you know um and things we talk about really have impacted us and we think there's probably a reasonable degree of certainty that they'll impact you as well but everyone has different style everyone has a different situation so anyway find it works for you and that's the best

Beth Ann is saying my husband went on many late night trips to get the things we needed yes and you'll probably be up in the middle of the night surf in Amazon because you're like this particular thing is working great is there another one but don't be overwhelmed by needing to feel like prepared the only thing to prepare for is like mentally yeah um victoria asked how do you tackle the worry of bringing kids into a world that has scary circumstances or superficial values man i was just

listening this whole thing on someone making the argument that it's immoral to have children in today's society and it adds to the carbon footprint and it's like no humans are net positive and if anyone's going to solve the climate issue or whatever your concern is

it's going to be a human and so our goal is to have kids and prepare those kids for doing something significant and maybe that's maybe that is being a good

being a good student and classmate or maybe that's creating the solution to cancer. You know what I'm saying? It's like significance looks a lot of different ways but humans are necessary to make an impact and that's how I feel. So it's like there's more an opportunity now to differentiate. Anyway, go ahead.

No, I agree. I also think it poses the question, has there ever been a time where our world has not had those things? And will there ever be a time where our world doesn't have those things. So then you're posing the argument should just human population cease to exist.

So no. There's a term called juvenileia, juvenile, like juvenile. And it's like, oh, kids these days listen to bad music and if only they were raised on the same literature and style that we were raised, our culture would be fine. And it's like oftentimes we think things are worse now

than they've been and people even politically will be like oh our country's never been so divided it's like have you ever seen the play hamilton or heard about that story alexander hamilton it's about politicians literally dueling with guns because they had they had disagreements it's it's always been divisive don't think that now is more aggressive but do something about it like jesska said not this side of eternity i dig that but we see it Okay, a couple of questions going back to the products. Is the snoo worth the money? I have friends that say yes, we never used it.

We never invested the money into it. And I will say we even tried some other products, like the super fancy, high-tech expensive baby swings and like bouncers and like all these things. And honestly, the like cheapest versions you can find it, target are what our babies like to the best. So it's to each their own. It's whether or not you want to, you know, invest the money or not.

Maddie asks, any advice for someone who knows they want to start a family but is terrified to actually take that big step and start trying? I mean, if you want to have kids, you're not going to regret it. It's a risk, right? It's like, oh, is this going to be something that I regret later on? but you have a reasonable degree of certainty or at least a reasonable idea of what the outcome is going to be, you know?

A lot of people have kids, and so you kind of see that, and you're not going to regret it. I would say if you both know you want kids, but you're terrified to do it, you're never not going to be terrified. So might as well go ahead and do it. Yeah, and, oh man,

it's such a good process for you as a human. Anyway. One more question, babe. Before we do that, if you haven't yet, hit the thumbs up on the video, please. We have over 400 people joining live, which is fun. And let's see if we can get the 200 thumbs up. That would be great. Next question.

Go ahead. What's the last one you want to end with? Oh, also, in the description, we added information for the event this weekend, November 4th. There's 16 tickets left, so grab them while you can. She's going to be packed. last question here we go have either of you done

the enneagram and do you know what number you are dang it that's one you want to end on that's a tough question it's a bad question because we have taken the enegram test and we don't remember what our number is

oh here we go here's mine this is from several years ago I am a three the achiever with type 7 the enthusiast as my second most and Sean's is not showing up here but I'd imagine that

I'd imagine that you're the helper or the achiever one of the two you would imagine it though yeah I'm just winging it here's the actual last question if you had one prayer for each of your babies what would it be

that was a question in there i didn't see it that's mallory ford just asked that oh we met mallory yeah um hmm i say this to both drew and jet whenever i like put them to sleep i say no matter what you do no matter who you are mommy and daddy will always love you and god will always love you and i think my prayer for each of them would be to know that with full certainty. There's a movie called Charity to Fire. He's an Olympic runner who says at one point in the movie that when he runs, he feels God's presence. And I think it was two or three years ago that I started feeling that feeling of like um i don't know it's like a peace or purposefulness or like excitement about life and passion for life in every in like many things i did not everything but many things

i did and i hope that they feel that sense of worship because it's like really wonderful you're like you're in the zone when you feel that and i still feel that way with you um anyway I like the question Mallory I appreciate that is that it that's it guys thank you for tuning in we love these live streams let us know if you want us to do more actually I think we'll have I think we have slated another question and answer that's not live but also do you prefer YouTube do you prefer Instagram I kind of like YouTube because the questions are a little easier to sort through but stay tuned we have some awesome episodes coming up on this channel Also, the Family Made Network has had some amazing episodes come out.

Maddie Pruitt just was on with Maddie Jackson. That was an amazing episode. Doug and Jamie Hainer are doing awesome stuff. We're going to see them this weekend. And we hope to see you this weekend as well. So check the information in the link in the description. That's all we got. I'm Andrew.

I'm Sean. And we're the East fam.