Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew - 198 | mental health, marriage and faith with gabe and jess conte

Episode Date: January 10, 2024

Today we sat down with YouTubers, podcast hosts, authors, recording artists, and social media sensations, Jess and Gabriel Conte! With a collective social media following of over 15 million, Jess and Gabe have definitely made a name for themselves, but what we love most about this couple is their authenticity, openness about the hard seasons they’ve walked through and their love for one another after 7 years of marriage. We hope you enjoy this episode as much as we loved this couple!  Love you guys! Shawn and Andrew  Check out the So Far So Good podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/so-far-so-good/id1701330816 Follow Jess & Gabe below! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jess/?hl=en https://www.instagram.com/gabrielconte/?hl=en YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jessandgabriel  https://www.youtube.com/@gabriel 1 https://www.youtube.com/bauerbirds  Follow My Instagram ▶ httsp://www.instagram.com/ShawnJohnson Follow My Tik Tok ▶ https://www.tiktok.com/@shawnjohnson Like the Facebook page! ▶ https://www.facebook.com/ShawnJohnson Follow Andrew’s Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/AndrewDEast Andrew’s Tik Tok ▶ https://www.tiktok.com/@andrewdeast?lang=en Like the Facebook page! ▶ https://www.facebook.com/AndrewDEast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There you are, pushing your newborn baby in a stroller through the park. The first time out of the house in weeks. You have your Starbucks, venty, because, you know, sleep deprivation. You meet your best friend. She asks you how it's going. You immediately begin to laugh. Then cry. Then laugh cry? That's totally normal, right? She smiles. You hug. There's no one else you'd rather share this with.

You know, three and a half hour sleep is more than enough. Starbucks, it's never just coffee. What's up, everybody. Welcome back to a couple things with Sean and Andrew. A podcast all about couples. And the things they go through. Today we have some OG YouTubers, ones that we have followed since we, since before we started social media. I can't believe that we finally got to meet them. I also can't believe it took us so long to finally meet them, you know? I agree. And they live in Nashville. They're new here, which is even like crazier because... Just right up the road. Jess and Gabe Conti. Yes. This was a pleasant conversation. They casually have over 15 million social media followers. That's right. They share their life on YouTube and on social media. They have a newborn daughter. Not newborn.

She's almost one, but a young daughter. They're new parents. We talk about their relationship, parenting, posting it all on social media and their strategies behind it. And what brought them to Nashville. That's right. They used to have a book. Jess wrote a day-by-day guided journal. That's what it's called.

Gabe wrote a mission for meeting. And they just came with a podcast that you can check out. It's called So Far So Good. These two are really fun. You'll notice Jess's Australian accent. And we cover a wide range of topic, including mental health, parenting, kind of getting a philosophical discussion. And actually, Gabe and I are going to Las Vegas together to watch a Formula One race.

So we were fast friends. That's an interesting combo there. And I also invited them to a 6 a.m. workout with the Datter Days crew on Saturday, 6 a.m. and I went to the wrong location and he showed up the right location. So we already have a lot of memories together. It's good. Good so far.

But Jess, Gabe, thank for the time. If you want to find out more about these two, we'll link their information. Without further ado, we bring you Jess and Gabe Conti. Do you prefer to be called Gabriel? Oh, I don't care. Gabe Gabriel. Yeah, it's whatever.

I introduced myself as Gabriel. I grew up as Gabby. Really? But he doesn't like that anymore. Don't call him Gabi. Well, no, no. Because if I say Gabby, People have that reaction.

They go, really? And then I have to explain that in Spanish, Gabi is a normal, like, nickname for Gabrielle. But convert it to English and I have a girl's name. Oh, no. So it's like. I didn't take it that way. Yeah, but we have family in Tijuana. Oh, okay.

Yeah. But like, it's just easier to introduce myself as Gabriel and then whatever. There's some people who call me Gabriel. Some people call me Gabe. Everyone from back home calls me Gabby. Wait, but use the accent one more time. I know. When that comes out.

Whoops. All right, everybody. Welcome to the show with Jess and Gabrielle. Thanks for having us. You tried your best. I did a little talk, girl. Honestly, you guys are internet royalty. It's a pleasure.

Oh, wow. Oh, my God. Appreciate it, I guess. I'm not, I don't want to say, you know, I'm like a die-hard fan, but I've been watching your videos for quite a while. And it's like, you've been in the game for a long time. Thank you. Wow.

I feel like you're one of the official. I'm just like setting setting the stage yeah what an intro I feel honored that's that's hilarious but I look at people who've like been doing it for longer than us yeah and I'm like they're the OGs yeah we just started I don't know vlogging when we got in well right around we got engaged we started vlogging and stuff and it just like turned into you're engaged 2015 married 2016 um engaged 2016 married 2016 okay And met 2016. Seriously?

Yeah. Yeah. At the beginning. Well, we met online at the end of 2015. It was like, no, December. Mm-hmm. And then beginning of 2016, we met in person for the first time. But then by the end of that year, we were married.

And then when in between it you got, like, when, in between you get engaged. Okay. Our timeline is February, we started dating, September, got engaged, December, got married. That's amazing. that's a really sometimes I'm like how did we do a three month how did we plan a wedding yeah it is crazy to think about we just didn't like long distance yeah is what it came down to and it was it was like long it was like u.s to australia long distance so we were not and we were going to do the wedding in December but we were we were thinking like okay do we do it in three months December like from

September to December like plan it or a year in three months so like family could travel and do all that we're like we're not doing long distance yeah and my mom too was like if you know like you're obviously getting married like why would you wait yeah which was really nice too because I was leaving my parents to move here so that was like definitely the the green light yeah to go ahead I will say engagement is so hard so props to you guys I wish our engagement was three months how long was your engagement ours was nine months okay that's not that's not sure that's like short in the grand scheme of yeah how long some engagements are I think that's the dude three five years i'm like doing guys oh man i know the puck yeah well and we had not a similar

situation because it wasn't long distance but we had a timeline of it was either going to be like nine months because of nfl or it's going to be a year in nine months because of nfl oh my god and it was like definitely nine months yeah but i actually had a vendor at our wedding say once i asked her with the like ideal time to plan a wedding was and she said three months i wonder why she said when you book it no matter how far out they start planning like three months ahead. Interesting. Oh my gosh.

Well, I guess we did it right. Let's go through our strategy right there. That's awesome. And then vlogging, why pull the trigger on that? Why did you start vlogging when you got engaged? We were both doing social media before we met. I was doing it like professionally as my job.

And then hers was like a hobby, but she still had a bit of a following. and then we were making videos together while we were dating and then when I was planning to propose to her I was like okay there's going to be an engagement video that will post somewhere but that'd be weird if I just like post it on my channel and then I'm like do I just give it to her and post on her channel like I don't know it was like a weird thing and then and then we were kind of talking about vlogging anyway and like starting a channel like a separate channel to start vlogging so it kind of lined up and we did eight two blogs before we did the engagement yeah something like

that so but also you never told me that the reason we started the channel was like because you were thinking about the engagement video yeah you know so it's just funny like hearing your side of like where do we post the engagement video like we need we should start vlogging babe yeah i was like funny i uh yeah i i i love youtube because i feel like it's just like this archive we consider what we post as shareable home videos so it's like they're not great YouTube videos don't get me wrong but for us it's like I want to watch this

10 years from now yeah yeah I'm going to post this online where I could just search for it anyway but it's a I love having our wedding video on there our engaging video we watch it every year on our anniversary do you really? Wow we should do that every time we watch it I'm like I cringe a little bit I know

I think I was cringe do you cringe all the time oh man Yeah, why do you cringed? Yeah. We were so young. I was 22 and she was 20. I was 20. I was like, I don't know.

I just think I would do things so differently. So different. Yeah. So I don't know. But it's also like you watch it. You was like, oh, like we were just so little. So we should watch it. Yeah, that's something we should do for sure.

That's a cool tradition. Yeah. We have like a similar experience that we look back and it's like cringy. And all I can think is like we are so naive to every. thing but it's sweet it is sweet it is sweet and we've gone to like friends weddings now who have been together eight nine years but they're just now getting married and their weddings look more like what I could see a wedding being like today totally but they're matured and they're like I don't know it's just different I wouldn't change this thing what would you change like what comes

to mind and you say that I think like just everything I mean the people we invite the guy I always been talking. No, literally. Actually, well, yeah. No, but there actually are like, there's like people who I'm really close with now. Like friends that we've met after being married and all that stuff that I'm like, man, I wish like, I would now, I didn't even know you then.

I would have you as a groomsman. Yeah. You know, so that's one of those things where it's like you're so close with someone. They weren't even at your wedding. I think for me, I always think about like when we got married, we hadn't even been dating for a year. I didn't cry. Same.

And I think if I was to do it now and, like, I would write my vows so differently, I would just bowl the whole day, I think. Because our relationship is obviously, like, so much closer. So I'm always like, should we get married again? Ten-year vow renewal. That's what we've been talking about. I want a 10-year vow renewal so bad. It would be sick. Girl, you want a trip and just an excuse to take it.

And again in your dress. Why not? But, no, it was the same thing. Like, we were young. We were 23. Yeah, 23. Yeah. That's awesome.

Like, I was too shy to write my own vows. I didn't want to say it in front of everybody. Really? So we did, like, more traditional vows. And I was, like, emotionally, like, numb. I was like, I can't cry. I can't do anything. And watching back, I'm like, oh, I just, I love you so much.

I know. I love you so much. You guys wrote your vows? What was, did you have the classic leather bound journal kind of thing with a... No, I had a, I think we had a folded piece of paper just in the pocket. Yeah. Yeah, that was, if we had four months to plan, we would have the leatherbound journal. what was the strategy was writing the vows how did you guys approach that i'm curious oh my gosh i remember

we went to in australia i lived like by a bay and we went there to like write together it was like where i'd go and pray so it was like a special and i got baptized there too so it was like a special place for me um but i how did we even i think our like sink on it was like a page like how long so it wasn't like i have like five pages and then she has like a paragraph or something just like And then I think my sister heard both of them to make sure that they, like, were on the same level. You know, like, not too funny, not too deep, you know? That's clutch. Yeah.

So they were, like, on the same level, which was good. I could just have Chad GPT right. I literally have it write emails for me sometimes. I'm like, oh, what do I say here? And I just, like, throw on what I want to say. I wonder what it would say. We should try. Andrew tried at once.

Really? Having it right vows. Well, we were doing this video married in the Metaverse because, I don't know. I just wanted to... No, you're doing this video. We did the video. I was like, what are we doing? You're like, this is your idea.

Don't drag me up to us. Sean's game for all of it. Yeah. I love that about marriage, though. And honestly, about getting older is... It means more now because of the past seven or eight years you've been married. So you would be way more emotional if you could kind of front load all those things that you've been through and what Gabe's meant and it's like it's so cool when you kind of see the the journey or the

past start taking shape and like how God's worked in it it's it's powerful stuff yeah I'm excited for that with kids too oh my gosh great so you guys have a one-year-old yeah one-year-old little girl kills me little girl oh man she's like she just makes us both melt but like especially Gabe it's just he's such a softy now uh-huh yeah let's do it to you man Girl, I'll just cry right now. Yeah, dude. Oh my gosh, I know, man. And just like she's at the age now, just started walking.

Yeah, she's like at the age where she's like, is giving me something. You know what I mean? Like there's like she's reacting to stuff. She's saying a few words. And I'm like, oh my gosh, like you're a human and like I'm having fun with her, you know? People have always told us that it gets better. Like you won't be able to believe it. it just keeps getting better and it does and the three-year-old phase with a little girl

I don't think I personally don't think can be beat yet really I because they have conversations and they have emotions and they have personality and they'll literally sit together on the front porch and like talk oh that's awesome and yeah a three-year-old little girl is my favorite I'm excited for you guys I know because right now she'll like try to talk to us Or she'll, like, do a funny face. And I'm just like, what are you thinking? And so I can't wait till that age where she can actually, like, tell us. And I bet your daughter just comes out with, like, the most random things.

Oh, yes. I just can't wait. We try not to cuss. Her recent thing is, but we do say freaking a lot. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so she's been saying that. It's like simultaneously so cute, but you're also like, all right, I got to cut it out, man. She says the other day, she was like, that freaking dude.

And I was like. Or she's like, it's a freaking mermaid. And I was like, stop saying. That is so funny. How do you not laugh? It's so hard because, like, you can't, especially in this phase, you can't give attention to it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

You got to, like, rub, like, Drew, we don't say that. You know, I'm like, this freaking murray. It's so funny. I think that all the time. Well, wow. Daughters, they get you, man. Yeah. Emotional.

No, but I think that all the time, we'll just be driving around having a conversation. I'm like, oh, she's, like, in the backseat. Yeah. just like listening to everything. A sponge. Yeah. Oh my goodness. I am curious that with your guys is,

I feel like there's a parallel here of like you guys share your entire lives on social media. It's part of your job, but it's your passion. It's all these things. For us, we've figured out our boundaries of like what we talk about, what we don't talk about, what we share, what we don't. And your guys, it's marriage and now in your parenting with your daughter. How have you guys navigated the roles of like, this is what we will share this is what we'll talk about but this is too far

what are the boundaries you guys have set up wow well good question yeah we've talked about this a lot yeah we've had a lot of conversations about it and it's definitely just going to continually evolve

on as she gets older there's you know more kids like what what that all looks like but yeah I don't know we've been doing it for so long that it's we're definitely at a point which is why we just started our own podcast because it's we want to be able to

still like connect with our audience really personally which I think podcasts are great for but there's a level of like we can talk about the things that we want to talk about that are happening in our family's life without needing to have like a camera in our house all the time you know what I mean and we're still we still vlog every now and then but we definitely want to just keep things more private I guess and that's kind of where a lot of it like stems from is us just more and more kind of valuing our privacy as a family especially with kids you know there's I don't know the internet's a crazy scary place for for kids so just trying to be wise about it and make the right decisions to protect our

our daughter, you know, because that's like one of the main goals as parents is, you know, protect your kids. But yeah, anyway, I think, I think podcasting, like the world of podcasting, but then also us creating a podcast kind of came at a perfect time to be able to like take our career into the next phase of, yeah, the business and everything. so yeah I think it's allowed us to like share our experience with becoming parents and like we have a lot of viewers who are parents especially like similar stage of life with like a one year old or like one child and so it's been really cool to like be able to share that while still

keeping privacy I think like the more we've done this especially me I would say more me we've realized that like I love a private life and I'm like that doesn't really work out well with our job so a podcast has been a great place for that yeah so you guys are kind of 10 episodes in maybe 8 so far so good is so far so good yeah

one week post today or yesterday honestly I can't keep count it's something like that yeah and uh what can people expect from the show um you lots of laughs

I feel like we just have a good time on it yeah we're trying to really have a good time just, I don't know, be funny with the conversations we have and entertain people at the same time, like provide value in deep conversations and stuff like that. But yeah, so far so good. The reason why we call it so far so good was we feel like that phrase encapsulates like going on a journey together, like the journey of life. And we kind of like what I was talking about, so wanting to have like, I guess, a level of intimacy with our audience and like creating a space to where we're still connecting with them. So far so good came from a place of wanting to keep that connection with our audience and make it feel like we're still going through life together and just kind of connecting on a deeper level with longer form content and stuff like that.

So just kind of like talking about life, but that's very broad, but more so like journeying through life together. I feel like pretty closely reflects what your content somewhat was, which is kind of just sitting down like in the living room. You know, I'm talking about whatever subject, but I love podcasting, man. It's like, oh, it's fun. It's been really fun. Yeah, it's been cool. Yeah. It's great.

Can't wait to be on. Thanks for them. Oh, my gosh. You guys are, you guys are. Oh, come on. Come on. You guys are podcasting royalty. Wendy's most important deal of the day has a fresh lineup.

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Turns and conditions apply. Learn more at amx.com. I'm like, will you? No, no. We started a couple things. Well, Sean, I'll tell us story. When did you start it? Andrew.

Go ahead, tell the story. I was five days postpartum with her daughter and he launched it he launched it we had not filmed a single thing we hadn't like nothing he literally said to the world we just started a podcast and it charted it charted to number one with no episode we had the trailer up that's amazing and i literally was like you piece of poop but You piece of freaking I don't know if I've told you this. It was stemmed from the same feeling of

We have a kid now We make videos for a living What if we don't want this to be what we do anymore? Podcasting, I just But I remember it was like Seven days postpartum He's like, we really got to get a full episode up I was like, I'm going to kill you

Oh, I'm still in seven days first time I was like post C-section I couldn't even get off the couch mistakes were made for sure but now it's like our favorite thing we do yeah yeah yeah that's four years in now but yeah yeah but it's a good origin story yeah what's your guys daughter's name micaiah what's the origin of that name um we we were looking at biblical names online but kind of wanted something unique and but not like too unique it was like probably the hardest decision by the way is making a name oh yeah we didn't want like a made-up

name that was like well what are you doing yeah but we wanted something that i don't know just felt unique to us but that had some sort of meaning yeah so micaiah is in the old testament but it's a man's name and so we spelt it differently and the the girl's spelling of it apparently is hawaiian or um ocean princess or something like that you're like okay Hawaii like is in between where we both lived and we were like trying to make it deep yeah yeah i did But then the prophet in the Bible is like prophet like speaking truth. And that's like really needed in our generation. So that was something kind of cool to have connected to her name.

But we didn't decide on her name until she was in our arms. Even then we were just like, I don't know if this happened to you guys too. But we were like, okay, is it Makaya? It was just like, it's such a bizarre moment. We had got massive cold feet. Really? Yeah, because like at our hospital, wouldn't let you leave without filling out the social security paperwork yeah so you had to

write down a name did you but did you guys decide on the name beforehand we thought we were set we thought we were set and then we were holding her and we're like I don't I got nervous we're gonna go with Drew for we don't have a meeting or anything it was just you know we do it's that yeah yeah but it's tradition in his family to name the first son after the father and we we didn't want to do that and I was like how would we name a daughter Drew that's Oh, wait. That's really cool. I always envisioned having a daughter first and then her just being like an

absolute boss, you know, like commanding a room or situation. So it worked out great. But we were filling out the paperwork and I was like, maybe we should just go with Vanessa. I think Vanessa is it. No way. We had never talked about this. It was never a name that we even like was brought up. He's like, how about Vanessa?

And I was like, who are you? Oh my God. It also was kind of, it gave us close. feet because like our daughter's name is Drew Hazel and especially in Nashville it was kind of the beginning of like more modern names yeah and I remember when they later in my arms they said do you have a name and I was like her name's Drew Hazel and they're like oh hazel's so beautiful and I was like oh but what about Drew? But her name is Drew and nobody like would pick it up and I was like oh no you're like looking at

the nurse's reactions do you like it yeah yeah but it's so nerve-wracking naming a baby Because it's permanent. Now do you look at her and you're like, Vanessa? Like, oh, yeah, no. She can never be Vanessa. I love that name for a girl. Thank you. Vanessa?

No, no. We'll take it. No, Hazel. Yeah. Oh, it was, yeah, so wrecking. In regards to your guys' faith, I feel like you guys are very faith-based people, especially now that you're in Nashville, too.

It's kind of the world's colliding. but where do you find that line with social media because it's such an amazing thing to steward but it can be very polarizing with the modern day social media world totally yeah we um we started all of it like not like our goal wasn't to be like christian speakers or anything like that not that that's like what we do obviously we do like speak on our faith when it's appropriate but our main like view on it is that we are in the entertainment space and we talk about and show our life and our life obviously we're believers so it's going to come out when we're talking about our life or showing our life or whatever but um yeah when it comes to

like, I don't know, when it comes, and there's so many, like, issues in the world, especially as Christians that we want to talk about and weigh in on and everything like that. Um, but we've kind of, through lots of conversations and talking about, like, what do we actually, like, post about when it comes to, like, issues or current events or anything like that? And we decided that since it's, we will be ineffective if we try and, speak on everything especially when that's like not our platform we're not like Christian speakers or like political yeah we're like educators or anything like that

we're making entertainment content so like as a family and as like our family business like what is the thing that we're putting a stake in the ground for and we are going to be talking about or the things that we will talk about and that for us was human trafficking is just something that we're both really passionate about and as a family we donate to organizations that deal with human trafficking and stuff like that so um that's one thing that we will mainly talk about on our social media when it's i don't want to say appropriate because that's a weird word to say but when like when we do if that makes sense and do you remember the quote that you used in your book that is kind of around

I always forget it, but it's like, uh-da-da. Oh, I know. And then when... You're using sounds for the quote? I know you're saying. You know what I mean? That core.

Um, at all times preach the gospel and when necessary use words. That was it. I'm surprised he got it. I wasn't, it's not my... It's not my quote. Yeah, I know it's just a cadence to it. Yeah. I will say that's what we always talked about.

he came from a family that was so they valued like outward words preaching at all times and I lived a more like camera forward life at a young age and I was always like lead by example

and when they ask how that's your opportunity to like share yeah I love that I love that you guys were you nailed it you nailed it that's so fun

Wow, that was amazing. And you understood what she was talking about. That's seven years marriage right now. You're from Australia? I am, yeah. As is Hill Song, is that right? Yes. Was that like a big, was that any part of your story?

Yeah, that was the church that I went to in Australia and the church that Gabe went to when he lived in L.A. Yeah, before we met. And then we started going a Hill Song in L.A. after we got married for a little bit. Then we went to another smaller church. We wanted, like, a more. In L.A., it's just.

just like so crazy we wanted like just a more intimate community but but that was one of the first things we talked about in dms where we met um because I was heading out to L.A. on a trip by myself and so I messaged him to ask like what churches he went to just so I could like visit some while I was in L.A. wanted to like that was how she slid into the DMs she was like what church church card and I was like a Christian you shot the first shot yeah yeah nice nice he wouldn't have known who I was just like a little Australian girl I had a buddy an Australian friend who was staying with me in LA at the time for like three weeks he was just crashing at my place

and then she saw me through his stuff and then she'd yaem me and then we just started talking wow yeah what church you go to that's a good pickup line and then he said hill song so that was like oh I go to hill song you know in Australia so that was the start of it honestly that might be the best pickup one I was gonna say

it weeds out so much yeah one question it was unintentional but it worked I have a friend who's pickup line was crazy just got married so it worked but he would weed out people online by saying are you Christian and if so how many kids do you want that's too great no but it made sense for his personality so for someone to respond to that like positively it's like oh yeah that's a match and it works now he's married yeah now he's married as of like two days ago yeah yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah for that guy. We've taken a turn, I feel like, the last nine months where it was, I don't know, we would never do like a podcast episode on our faith. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For no reason. It was just not top of mind. But then the last nine months have been really interesting where we're like, oh, no, this is necessary.

And then maybe it's an old guy thing too. Like, or you have kids. Old guy. 31 and so old. Oh, my gosh. You know, but. Right, I feel you. I turn 29 next month.

Damn. Almost 30. Yeah, 35. Like, oh, no. That's crazy. But I love to read. And at some point, you get to, like, read and Jordan Peterson or whatever. And all these guys are saying that there's only one truth, right?

And they're all just repackaging the Bible, essentially. Like, anybody that hits a mainstream, I feel like, is just doing some different twist on. It's a biblical concept. You also realize I've had this thought. I don't even know. I've talked to you about it. But you think about the Bible being in ancient text

and it's more than that, but there's thousands of years of wisdom that's been distilled in these stories. And it's like it's the peak examples of all these different things that you can go through, like betrayal or marriage or parents. And it's like, just thousands of years of iterating like hey that that story best tells this lesson it's like

yeah yeah i love it it's just there's no way around it it's like really valuable stuff anyway did i say that in a cool way no no that's that's awesome and what's really cool is how it all just all ties together and you know something that was said a thousand years before is like yeah perfectly like prophesied to what happened a thousand years later you know what i mean so it's just it's crazy the whole story of it like the mini stories is like the lessons and then just the truth of it being truth being confirmed

do you guys have the Jesus storybook Bible that you read? It's actually great yeah we've amazing on the Christmas list oh thank you I was also I guess Islam is taken it's like thriving right now

oh really and they were talking about the reason is because men in today's society are struggling and Islam is like this super masculine high testosterone conquer the world type vibe and then it got me really pumped about Jesus as like the main figure though

because he's like this gentle warrior he's like the guy that hangs with kids you know but he's also the dopest I'm just reflecting on how you said nine months ago you didn't talk about faith now we're Jesus Jesus is the goat

I was telling you this the whole time I was just going to add he's the goat I'm talking about Islam I will say to give context that the past nine months

I feel like we've had so many people around in our lives with their community or family friends just really been struggling with so many different things and the only way that we've been able

to deal with it is like faith yeah and if you're don't mind talking about this you were very open not too long ago about like your season of depression and just like you shared that with the world one how did you handle it how did you come through it together and what was your purpose or like what was your reasoning to yourself and saying i want to share this with everybody um it was affecting work like I couldn't work I couldn't like make content like as frequently just because I was so

um yeah I was just in a bad spot and it was like I had to say something at some point just because you know at first it was like how did we phrase it back in 2019 like I'm not doing too well we're going to take a break

you know um i think we needed to though because like we were posting weekly and there's only so much like faking you can do on camera you know so it was really like burning you out yeah so even like missing a couple weeks like people are going to notice you know yeah and then i i don't i don't know like what if it was like a super calculated decision on thinking if I was going to share or not I'm I wear my heart on my sleeve just like that's just my personality so I was pretty open talking about it um and then as as far as like going through it and like trying to get through it like Jess was a massive help um just as far like her personality is so so just patient and kind and loving and just, you know, she would not push me too far

as far as like, like she knew what I needed to do. Like when you're depressed, you don't, there's so many things that you know you need to do, but you just can't get yourself to do them. Like, wake up consistently at the same time, exercise because it's, you know, great for dopamine. Like all the things that's like good to do when you are. are depressed you just don't want to do you know and Jess knew these things and was so incredibly like I don't know tactful in her way of the way she approached it was like helping me to the point to where she wasn't pushing me too far if that makes sense and just like being so

encouraging the whole time and it was I don't yeah I don't know how I could have really gone through it if it wasn't being married to you just um but then in addition are you going to cry i'm not going to cry um that's on my wedding video but uh at the same time to bring it back to faith um we yeah i just it felt like god was using this to just to just keep me close to him because I have like a very driven personality and a very obsessive personality so when it came to like our career and working and I just continually like go down the spiral of working myself way too hard and pushing myself too much and then you know it now I'm very aware of it if it happens I'm like oh I can tell I'm starting to burn out a little bit where before it be like now that's me being weak I need to push myself harder you know um and as much as it feels like a weakness having mental health issues and everything like that it really feels like it was a gift that God gave me to keep me reliant on him you know um yeah and then just really going through like even going through the Psalms was like huge just reading through it

and and hearing like you know stuff like David went through and just like his these like amazing songs of like talking about being like at high highs and really low lows which is like how I kind of experienced life being more emotional like my highs are super high my lows are super low and just being able to relate to that and it being like biblical in scripture and you know knowing that I'm not crazy for feeling that way and then just like key verses that helped me that I would just like as I'm asleep at night just repeating them in my head and stuff like that just really having to be reliant on God during that season was massive you know Would you mind put me in your mind?

What is it like being in the mind of a depressed, in a depressed date? Oh, man. It's very gradual. In overtime, like even recently, it's, I know when I'm starting to feel a little burnt out, and I'll give myself, like, days off to, like, combat it just because, I know where it can lead. So it's like constantly feeling overwhelmed. And then my mind not being able to shut off,

shut off about the overwhelm. And it's kind of like a just, I hate saying spiral, but kind of like a ping pong back and forth of feeling away emotionally. It makes you think a certain way, like things are getting worse. That makes you feel worse emotionally. So you think worse about a certain way. And it just goes all the way down.

And if you're not doing anything to combat it, then you get to a point where it's like, like waking up in the morning is like the hardest thing, just like laying there and knowing that you should get out of bed, but it is one, like, just such a battle just to go like this with the covers and just take them off of you and just like put your feet on the ground. Because you don't want to start that ping pong like process. Kind of because you're already there and you're just like don't want to deal with the life. So it's just debilitating

to like want to have to confront life and yeah it's definitely hard to explain but yeah it sucks. That was insightful. Thank you. Sorry. No, no, no. That's fine. I wear my heart on my sleeve so I can talk about and things are amazing now. So yeah.

Especially having a daughter has been, or just a kid I guess has been just given me so much purpose outside of our work world. It's like even, you know, it's like our marriage is our marriage, but it's also like we're running a business together. And it's the product that people are seeing is our relationship. So so much of our world and our life is just centers around work.

So we, you know, we put things in place to like, like try not, try, try, try and not working well we like take a Sabbath so like every Saturday the bricking best it's the best yeah gosh it was life changing when we started it and we're like how did we not have a rest day before well people because when you say Sabbath I'm like

yeah I know I'm out I'm out what even is that but you're like a day of rest yeah or we read this book Ruthless elimination of hurry bro I just finished it talks about Sabbath and he's like what if you just had one day to do all the best things in life and so Sean and I wrote a list of all of our favorite things to do like making a fire e-bikes playing in the

playroom with the kid hot wheels or whatever and that's awesome taking the kids to the farmer's market or whatever let's do as many of those as we can is oh dang yeah what do the things that we miss the whole thing yeah yeah yeah all these years yeah one thing in that book that uh that resonated with me is it is at the very end he was talking about he's like i want to experience the goodness of god every day yeah and that was that was just like oh my gosh i don't feel like i do that i'm too busy all the time thinking about work and and all this stuff and you know having a day of rest to kind of like reset put things into perspective and you know attack the week with purpose not out of like obligation yeah you know so what was the other books of him god has a name

that's phenomenal by john mark but i think that's something that kind of comes with our business like all of ours and it's kind of coming with just modern day business and anymore especially after COVID everything's virtual so there's no nine to five you don't go to work and then leave and get to leave it at home work is at home at all times and with us especially with social media turning your brain off is impossible oh my gosh we're like oh we're actually going to Disney World this weekend this would be a great video or like whatever it is but then you're like how do I balance this from taking a Sabbath and letting this be fun and letting this and that's It's this constant like hamster wheel.

And I just want to say thank you for sharing that because we've been very open on our podcast about like eating disorders and anxiety and how we support each other through it. And I think the last question I had with that was just how did you identify it in him and how did you support him through it? I think just being married for so long now I can tell, as he said, like he's a very emotional person. so I can tell as soon as something is off and I don't know I think day to day he's a very like driven productive motivated person and so I could start to tell like even sleeping in or like it was just like little things that was starting to add up and um we were both going to therapy at the time um to the same therapist well the first time first time we weren't that's true the first time we went she she we were on family vacation in 2018 with not not just us like her her whole family was in town and I was just like out of it and she was like when we get back to out this we were still living in LA at the time she was like when we get back to LA you're going to therapy so she's like she called someone to make sure that yeah yeah it was really hard on that vacation too I just remember like

my family all being from Australia have never seen snow and so we went to um a place in California that it was literally snowing and we all went out and Gabe didn't come and so that I think that was like one of the main things like he just laid down in bed stayed in the bedroom um but yeah that so I'm thinking about the second time that Gabe went through depression we were seeing the same therapist and I just like me not knowing much about depression I just like wanted to know as much as I could so I even like in my own therapy session I was just like this stuff isn't important right now like I need to I need to know more about like what Gabe is going through so I was asking her about depression and she was explaining as much as she could to me and like what would be good for him kind of what he was saying like eating consistently getting outside like getting some sun and working out. waking up having like good routines and so yeah it's really hard watching your partner go through that and just like wanting to be like he can't see it while he's in it but me going like I know

what's good for you like so just trying to be very like patient and like hey I'm going for a walk do you want to come on a walk with me? And little things like that to just try to encourage it. But it's definitely hard. And just encouraging him to like journal and like different things like that. But yeah, I think the most important thing for me

was to like educate myself because I just like, I just didn't understand it. Balance is so interesting, isn't it? I'm even thinking, I think to do extraordinary things you have to have an extraordinary quality or drive, right? It's like you hear all these stories about Olympians getting depressed. It's like, oh, you want a gold medal.

But it's like the very same quality that led you to winning a gold medal is is why you're depressed. Like you have like this spinning wheel and nowhere to put it down to have traction. And your like your drive that led you to this point is kind of the same thing that now you have to check, you know what I'm saying? It's just interesting to view it as like, okay, this is a really beautiful thing that I've been given, like this artistic vision, but what's the right priority of it? Or like, what's the right placement of it anyway?

Yeah, that's a constant. I battle with that all the time. Like, what, yeah, just like how am I supposed to be applying myself? Because it's like, oh, I'm creative, but I'm also entrepreneur. real like what is the am I supposed to be like starting businesses and then or am I like actually supposed to like lean into like my like I went to

when we were talking about FSU like I went to FSU to get my acting degree which I didn't finish getting but like do I fully lean in and try and make films like what is you know like what is like continually thinking about that and at the same time we have our business together that's

is like the main thing that we do so it's like where's the balance between all of that and how do I apply myself and everything and it's a constant like that hamster wheels like could be pretty damaging in my head because then I start comparing myself and like okay what are these people doing and how are they doing it and it's like oh if I did what that person was doing I would have been so much farther along than what you guys are the same you guys have the same but who you looking at though okay that is that is the the coolest part about our industry. It's so creative. It's so entrepreneurial. It's so business-minded. But every

single person is doing it differently. Yeah. And it's so hard not to sit down and have a conversation with someone to be like, oh, wait, I never thought about that. Oh my gosh. And then you question everything you've been doing for the past like five years. Everything. And then you try to do that and it doesn't work. And then you just go back to what you're doing. We, I feel like we are on that hamster all the time. Yeah. What are you guys excited about right now? What project? on whatever you're listening to and hit play on your next adventure. This fall, get double points on every qualified stay.

Life's the trip. Make the most of it at BestWestern. Visit bestwestern.com for complete terms and conditions. This episode is brought to you by Defender. With its 626 horsepower twin-turbo V8 engine, the Defender Octa is taking on the Dakar rally. The ultimate off-road challenge. Learn more at Land Rover.com.

a podcast podcast definitely what else I don't know we'd move into a new house two months ago that was a big like renovation project for me so like still kind of like decorating and doing that yeah that's been amazing just have it we were up on a little bit of a hill so we have a view and the sunrise through our like bedroom window every morning just like yeah that's like I was like started reading Ruthless elimination of hurry before we moved in and then I finished it like a few weeks after we moved in and I was like oh I'm like experiencing the goodness of God here at this new home it's like yeah it's been so cool so anyway are you big into the interior design world big yeah love it so much fun yeah we're always reorganizing furniture and nonstop I'm like yo it's fine get the bedroom done it's done you don't have to do it again that's exactly what he's like it's never done no no Yeah. They have different seasons or holiday.

You both have written a book? Yeah. Each, each. Sort of. Mine is your traditional book that the person reads the whole thing. Hers is like a guided journal. Yeah. What inspired that day by day?

Day by day. And then. A mission for me. Yep. Yeah. We have one here. Yep. Oh, didn't I bring it?

Yeah. For when I did the podcast with Steve. Yeah. What inspired the day-by-day journal? I am a big, like, planner journal girl. And any time... A journal, girly, if you will. And any time I'd walk into a bookstore, that's straight where I'd go.

Like, I wanted to look at the guided journals. And I think it also shows a bit of my personality of, like, I really like getting deep with things, but I also love having fun and, like, doing more light-hearted stuff. so I felt like there wasn't the perfect guided journal for me and whenever I'd look at one I'd be like oh I'd do this differently and just being such like a journal girl myself I was like I think I have like what it takes to make my own so it was really fun and I was super involved obviously like even like down to the design process like I just wanted to I wanted it to be Jess like cover to cover so it was really fun yeah and it's just released in January right

I think so yeah you know more than me um yeah actually that feels like that was well probably because you were working on it for like two years before it released yeah that feels like two years ago but even when I released it like one of the main bits of like feedback that I got was my view is saying oh this just like screams Jess and that's like exactly what I wanted Yeah, it was really fun. I'm also a big journal girl. I'll bring you one. And her journals a lot.

That's awesome. That's great. Yeah. What type of, this might be ambiguous, but noodle on it for a second. What is your mission as a parent? What's the goal? It's like, if we did this, mission accomplished. Wow.

We have a family mission statement. dig it um do you want to go through it no it's so long you don't want to hear it where it's a long long form podcast it's basically 10 different pillars of that like we want a whole family to like live by one yeah do you want to say it okay fine one pursue faithfulness and intimacy with christ and each other this is how we do it do we like we practice it every week we have a family team meeting every week and then part of that is just reviewing our family mission statement and then one just going through it to make sure that we have it memorized but then two we're kind of reflecting on how we're applying ourselves through our weeks and adjusting things

to better try and like to create habits and rhythms for our week to make sure that we're like living by living by that mission statement so what's two i do you i mean yeah i really want to I'd say we're fully on board of this We do values, morals We're doing a three-day workshop this weekend On this type of stuff On our whole life plan as a family Oh, let's go

So you have to say number two Number two Always encourage each member of this family Number three is be a home and family to others Number four Always foster a peaceful environment Number five, love of purpose-filled inspiring story

Number six be leaders through action Number seven, be generous with our time, emotions, and finances. Number eight, be fun and adventurous. Number nine, make the world more beautiful through creating. And number ten is preparing inheritance for future generations. I dig it. I know it's long. We'll write those down.

We'll take them for the next 72 hours. A peaceful environment? Why is that the standard? Tell me about the word peace. I think, like, for me, it was like the whole department. thing and then Jess is just like exudes peace and is very much like a you're pretty peaceful a home right thank you so she just uh I kind of know why we said that peaceful environment you go um why am I talking well it was I just have like a practical

memory in my head of like when we were writing it down but we just have we both have cousins that have incredible kids like and as soon as you walk into the house it's just like peaceful and we look up to both of those cousins a lot and so we like we just want to be like them really so we would like want to be that family for other people yeah and ruthless elimination to hurry dang that book's getting a lot of love yeah but i have a book too i wrote like i also wrote a book all right tells about your book no no no no actually talk about it i want to where you're having to say. He mentions it. Saul or Solomon says that the purpose of a good life is not like a high

achieving one or it's not about wealth. It's not about travel. It's about finding peace. And that struck me. I was like, interesting. Okay. I don't even know what that word means, really. Is it like quiet? Yeah. No. No, I don't know. It's just a feeling. It's like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's like I, you know, I don't know, if I have a homie's over and we're playing Rocket League. I freaking love Rock. What time we're playing tonight? No, no, I literally just started a group chat with a few friends I was hanging out with yesterday. Oh my gosh.

Every day at 4 p.m., me and two buddies would play Rocket League. No. There were a couple nights early on, pre-kids, early marriage, where like I'd wake up in the middle of the night. and in the house that we lived in there was like no place to go and he would be like hiding in the closet playing rocket

quality time with the boys no I was playing PubG I was playing PubG then but wow okay what we're talking about peace anyway like that even something like that that's ridiculous even something like that that's ridiculous

you know just like there's something about using our home for like moments where you're experiencing like So much happiness and quality time with people and that sort of stuff. Yeah, I don't know. There's something about, especially for me, like, Jess has always, like, had that peace about her.

And then going through depression, that was, like, the goal is, like, to get back to feeling at peace. And kind of having that as a mission statement and sending up her home to try and be a place of peace. Yeah, I don't know. It's just that's, that word's been really important to us. love that yeah all right tell us about your book now my book i basically i talk about a lot of like depression a lot of stuff that i dealt with but um i kind of just go through sorry i'm really cracking in this podcast i know it's this time of year it's just brutal yeah i don't know what's going on

i'm like coughing too um so i basically go through like my whole life but also my family's life like my parents and i even talk about like my grandparents and um my parent's story is pretty crazy My mom has HIV, and she got that in the relationship that she was in before she met my dad. And then she was given 10 years to live. She was like, I'm not going to have a family. That's like out of the picture now. Just like in her mid-20s, just completely like kneecapped, you know? And then my dad, with his relationship that he had before my mom, he was married to another woman and ended up having an abortion.

and like convincing his wife to get an abortion and fast forward my parents meet they my mom eventually tells him he's like hey I have HIV like you're probably not going to want to pursue this relationship and my dad he lost his mom when he was 16 years old his mom died from cancer and his mentality was like I'm going to love this girl even you know like till her last breath, basically. And they started their relationship. And this was before they met God, really. And they ended up getting pregnant with my older brother.

And they were like, they didn't know what to do because everyone was saying, like, you have to get an abortion. Like, the baby's going to have HIV. Like, that's just what's going to happen. And a lot of things happened where God was, like, kind of showing up in their life. Like, my dad had a dream that God was basically saying, like, if you kill this baby, I'll surely let you die. Like, that's the phrase, and he remembers it. And that he kind of interpreted as, like, God's going to take his hand of protection off his life.

And, you know, there's a few other things that happened. Jeez. But, yeah, I'll take some of my water. Thanks, man. See, she's here for me. He's been coughing for an hour I know, I'm sorry And at that point

They were like, all right We're gonna We're just gonna do this thing They got married Had my older brother And the way it worked was The baby If the mom has HIV

The baby could be born with HIV And then it stays The baby could be born without HIV and it doesn't come the baby could be born without it and then it does show up or vice versa the baby could be born with it and then it goes away and the period was usually like two years to know what would happen um and so it's like a roll of the dice and the best that they knew at the time was like your baby's going to probably have HIV so um so my older brother was born and they were like all right, we won't test him until after he's two years old because that's the time when

you would know if the virus is going to stay, if he has it, and it's there or not. But then they got pregnant with me like a few months later. So then they basically did it again. And they're like, okay, when I turned two years old, then they'll test both of us. So that was the case. And then like complete miracle. We both ate HIV-free. And then they had my younger sister and my younger brother and none of us have HIV and my dad has never gotten HIV and my mom has lived 30 years which was like 20 years past the like death sentence she was given which is crazy so that's that whole like crazy experience in their life like just drew them straight to God and um it was kind of they're like the first generation that God like radically changed in our family and like since then

you know now they're seeing their grandchildren be born and stuff and just trying to like carry that on so like kind of starting from that story basically and telling the story of my family and then into us and our relationship and then the whole social media stuff and depression and yeah just kind of how it all has come to basically this point yeah glad you're here man thank you appreciate me too me too yeah wow wow do you want to ask that uh we ask every couple this no pressure but you guys are seven years in almost eight almost almost seven almost yeah yeah like in a few months if you were to give or what is the best piece of advice you have been given or would give about marriage and your

relationship do you have something yeah I do yeah I just I didn't know if you want to go for you. I don't know. Mine would be to don't enter a relationship with the expectation to receive something and to a relationship to give. I still don't know what mine would be. I think like we truly just have so much fun to. together and I feel like with busy schedules and then having a newborn like you know life is a

roller coaster but like what we really try to do is just like keeping each other's best friend I know that sounds like cliche but I don't know we will just like crack up in the car or like giggle before we go to sleep and I think that like not that we're like super old but it like keeps our marriage young I feel like, because we're just, you know, we, like, are always just having fun together. Keeps things lighthearted, too. Yeah. Especially with, like, we're running a business together and, you know, all the stresses that can come with, with that. I'm trying to keep the child alive.

Yeah. Yeah. I like that. I interpret that as, I just think of the saying to know is to love. And it's like, if you're always seeking to know, like, there's always something new to figure out whether it's how they're thinking or. you know there's always a new situation to talk about I'm so glad to know you guys this is so fun

it's great to meet you guys in person yeah I know finally it's been too long I think there's so many people in our city now that we all haven't met in person now in our city in our city I didn't know if we were saying Nashville

so I wanted to be like we're still new in the city not ours We've got our closest podcast. Gabe and I have to go play it. Oh, that's cool. Don't tell me with a good time. Thank you guys. Thank you.

Yeah, no, thank you guys. We appreciate it. It's been awesome.