Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew - 206 | did 3 kids wreck our life?

Episode Date: March 13, 2024

In today’s episode we answered your questions about what it’s like being a new family of five! You guys always send in the best questions on our Instagram and it’s so fun to answer them on the spot for our podcast. We hope this episode is helpful to anyone going through a similar season and entertaining for anyone interested in how things have been going over here in the East house. Let’s just say…it’s been a bit of a wild ride :)  Love you guys! Shawn and Andrew  Follow the Couple Things Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/couplethingspod/?hl=en Follow My Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/ShawnJohnson Follow My Tik Tok ▶ https://www.tiktok.com/@shawnjohnson Shop My LTK Page ▶ https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shawnjohnson  Like the Facebook page! ▶ https://www.facebook.com/ShawnJohnson Follow Andrew’s Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/AndrewDEast Andrew’s Tik Tok ▶ https://www.tiktok.com/@andrewdeast?lang=en Like the Facebook page! ▶ https://www.facebook.com/AndrewDEast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you're with Amex Platinum, you get access to exclusive dining experiences and an annual travel credit. So the best tapas in town might be in a new town altogether. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Terms and conditions apply. Learn more at Amex.ca. we're back baby i didn't like that at all we are back we're going to have to adjust the volume on that one oh

we did a live stream last week and now we are back recording the podcast we've been releasing them every week and if you haven't punchy right now am i talking too much no that was just so that was so loud i have we're a way from the house without kids and you chose to do that. Babe, this is us. No, I'm not holding your hand right now. Conversing. No.

Shake my hand. I'm so mad. I'm so mad. I just shake it like a, like a. If you have not listened to some of the interviews we've been releasing, you should. We have released Anil and Anna. Two astronauts. This was like a crowd favorite.

I didn't know how it was going to be received. They are amazing. It's hard to communicate how impressive these two are. But they're literally. two of the around 40 active astronauts and they're married. Yeah, so that's pretty amazing. And chances that happening.

Wild. Yeah. Wild. But we're back. Guys, let's put a little asterisk here. My brain is still mush. So I will try to form sentences that make sense for you.

But we are now a family of five. We had a kid. and then another one and another one and we are in the thick of it I do I feel like the past two or three days I heard you say this on the phone today

I got a glimmer of like light at the end of the tunnel it's been Rocky Roads and maybe we'll disclose more soon but we're not there yet we're not that out of the woods we did take a almost three months paternity and maternity leave so thank you for allowing us to do that we did pre-record a lot of

these episodes and it was such special time with the kids and also it was necessary it turned out that was very necessary for us to take that yeah it was yeah I don't know what is more extreme or like the next level of necessary but it was that yeah we needed that so even a level for needed that was very like there was no other option that was a very astute thing you did by setting us up like that and thank you um and and now we're back so we uh if you've had kids you might be able to empathize with this there's like a brain fog that happens you can't really think about anything else it it's this weird fog and you don't you're not thinking straight just like you could clearly tell by me speaking weird uh everything is weird

I see other people and I don't know how to socialize. It's almost like a pandemic vibe. I know. I do want to say this, though. I know we are beyond blessed. We are beyond blessed to have been able to have taken a maternity leave this long. We are beyond blessed to have help, to have grandparents close to us, all these things. But I did read the statistic in the thick of maternity leave that probably sent me into a black hole tailspin of sadness.

because it said that the average American mother goes back to work five weeks postpartum and the average American baby gets put into daycare at five weeks old and that is just like so wrong on so many levels and I don't know how to fix it

so I'll leave it at that but it needs to be fixed Sean to her credit has been brainstorming ways that we could maybe help make a dent in that problem. Oh, yeah. And so stay tuned. I think there will be a big push that we do this year that we would love your help, support, and feedback on.

And we should have more information on that in around two or three weeks. But I think doing what we're about to announce will set us up to hopefully maybe like... Support moms and dads and families a little bit better. Anyway, back to today's episode. We posted on Instagram and asked asked

stop we asked you all to send in questions that you had for us now that we're a family of five and we had a lot we got quite a few and many many good ones

also I do want to say you guys have been the best super supportive excited for our family been in this journey with us so thank you thank you I am researching right now

for my PhD online communities and subcultures because I've realized that there is the toxic side of the internet and you go on Twitter that's kind of like a toxic platform Reddit it's like same vibe

but boy we have this amazing group that for whatever reason has been attracted to our content and it's like this I feel like this is how social media should be so thank you for being a part of that

we are honored to also be a part of that and man we have fun so anyway we haven't what nothing I'm delirious I just saw um we haven't seen these questions just so you guys know we collected them from social media from Instagram and I just got a glimpse at the first one and I'm chuckling at like us trying to attempt these answers oh geez I'm nervous yeah in full transparency we are still trying to figure this out ourselves so Don't view this as advice as much as war stories, all right? Shall we jump into it? Yeah.

Okay, these are from Sean's Instagram. So the first question is how would you compare the transition of zero to one, one to two, and then two to three kids, and what's the hardest transition? You see why I'm giggling? It's a little bit all over the place. I still believe the very hardest transition. I don't want to speak for us, but I think for us, I'll speak for me. For me was zero to one.

Zero to one was by far the most massive life change, identity change transition that I went through. I would say after that, I don't know, I still think, even though we've had some really hard times with this baby just trying to figure out us, and him and everything, I still think zero to one was the hardest,

then it was one to two, getting used to multiples, and then it was two to three. What would you say? I agree zero to one was the hardest. There's just so many new things, and it really is the end of one chapter of your life in the beginning of another,

and there's like a lot of things that come with that, ramifications, like schedule changes. So it's a massive shift. I heard someone described two to three as being harder on the dad. Is that what you're about to say? Yeah. Because now, usually the day looks like me spending time with our two older kids and Sean's with the baby.

And so it's like... It's a bigger shift for you than just having like a second kid. But by the way, we're having a blast. Yeah. I'm having so much fun with those kids. I think it, the way you work. word it might be misinterpreted it's not like harder on the dad than like the mom giving birth and stuff it's just like it's a harder it's a large transition for a father when you go to three

because it's no longer like i've got one you've got one it's like dad you have to take two for the first three months while i'm figuring out an infant yeah and yeah it's been a huge transition for you but you've been amazing but i'm curious for your guys's feedback too if you're commenting on YouTube what your experience has been I want to do like a poll formally for for people to have three kids and ask them this because some people say two to three wrecks their life which maybe was close to our experience and some people say two to three is nothing which has definitely not been our experience so I want to fill this drama we're alluding to we'll definitely talk about it more and more but something that and I have noticed with kids is

Like with each transition, zero to one, one to two, two, three. There is this phase of transition where you kind of lose husband and wife for a while because you're mom and dad and you're in this big transition and transitions are hard. So we're just still trying to figure out the transition of husband and wife again and get our groove back. But we're getting there. I will say for men listening, I think I've come to the realization that Sean, 95% of her mental bandwidth, I think. is consume with the baby. Yes.

And so it's like, that just is something to be aware of. Take it for what it's worth. Second question, how do you fit in workouts with three kids? It feels like I'll never have time again. I think we'll do a day in the life with three kids on our main YouTube channel. How have you fitted in? I, again, this is a luxury because I know our lifestyles, different since I have been staying home, been doing more of like the stay-at-home mom

situation, I find time when the baby is napping and you're able to take the bigs or something. So it's usually during a nap time or I've done workouts with him before strapped to me. But usually in the morning during like a lull or while the bigs are napping. By the way, you'll start hearing our verbiage that we've adopted. Drew and Jett, the four and two-year-old, are, we call them the bigs. And then bear, the baby is. They're kind of separate by dependency. Drew and Jett are still dependent, but in a much different way.

Have you noticed that? When we go to bed, it's like, who's got the big? Yeah, we haven't talked about that. That's funny. I'm actually curious to do this breakdown. So our kids go to, like, Mommy and Me classes for three. days a week and so that's maybe 18 hours per week that we have with the bigs out of the house and then of that 18 hours bear sleeps for maybe six of the hours in those windows so you

probably have a six hour window yeah for you to do that yeah otherwise you're like breastfeeding and then the weekends you usually do the early morning though I usually do early morning it does get a little dicey because the kids sleep schedule is fluctuating so like you don't want to start a workout and then stop it so i've i mean we've worked out less for sure it's not the priority there's phases for everything um i saw on instagram somewhere it was like the whole like eras i'm in my whatever era it was like i'm in my new mom era or new dad era where it's like i'm not going to be the most fit i'm not going to be the most regimented i'm not going to be the most regimented i'm not going to be the most social but that's okay i really feel that way um i think you will have time again

for whoever wrote that question it might just be like by the time our kids get to jerusalem like three or four you have time you know they'll do activities and then we won't get this time back i don't want that uh number three were we shocked by the gender of bear did we secretly have a preference i was shocked i could not believe it i thought this was a baby girl through and through i thought i was a baby girl through and through. I thought I saw a sneak peek of the nursery and I thought I saw pink. So I literally had to triple check

when they pulled the baby out. It took you a while. I was like, is that the umbilical? What? Is that the umbilical cord or no way, it's a boy? And now I cannot imagine it any other way. I know. I couldn't either.

I had a mom feeling that it was a boy, but I don't know if I could tell. I think my mind just went to a boy. um i didn't secretly have a preference i was more scared of having a second girl than i was of having a boy and that's just because drew is my first i have a harder time dealing with emotion versus physicality just everything girls scare me as far as middle school high school drama emotions heartache yeah which i'll still deal with my boys too but yeah just feel a little different it's almost like uh yeah i this is if i was gonna draw up our

family before we started having kids this is exactly what i wanted it's amazing it's amazing how it panned out i'm really thankful for are the older kids jealous of bear and if so how do you handle that we this is something we've been really conscious of to sean's credit um i think initially there was some I guess curiosity about how things would pan out and Drew had some

moments where she would like really won our attention but really I think we've done a pretty good job Sean will sit there and breastfeed and be giving the kids attention and that's really difficult to do it to be honest I almost lose my mind every morning

there's this like I don't know why. It's their routine. It's adorable and it's so sweet. So to back up for a second, our kids adore Bear. They have way far exceeded our expectations in loving him

and wanting to be a part of being siblings and everything. They are so good with him. There is a little bit of jealousy, but I wouldn't say it's been bad at all. But every morning at 7 a.m., when Bear wakes up and the kids wake up, I sit on the couch,

and try to nurse bear. And I have Drew on one side, like literally almost cheek to cheek and jet on the other side, almost cheek to cheek. And they're just like at the top of their lungs, like, oh, good morning bear, oh my gosh. And they're like touching his face and like pulling on me and like,

and it's so sweet. But it is so overstimulating and claustrophobic that I want to jump out of my skin. Yeah. But it's so sweet. there have been a lot of temptation for us to say no to the big kids a lot and it's it's hard to not do that when they're like all over the baby but instead of saying no we've been trying to like ask them to do something and involve them and helping so hey Drew you know when she's all over him can you go get brother a pacifier or can you go get his milk or a blanket or whatever and then they feel like they're a part of the whole thing so um they've been great to be honest we also one other little thing that I think was one of the greatest pieces of advice that I was given by our pediatrician when we had jet so when we had our second was whenever you have a kid change the possession to how do I word that to like your your children so instead of saying mommy's having a baby I need to feed my baby the baby whatever everything belongs to your children. So

mommy's having your brother. I'm going to go pick up your brother from the hospital. Your brother is so excited to meet you. Making it their possession puts it less on like something to be jealous about. Because it's theirs, not mine.

That's good. Yeah. If that makes sense. What's been the biggest adjustment you didn't expect? What you're smiling for? again we'll talk about this when we figured it out but we've already had two kids we've noticed that it puts a strain on us just like readjustments I thought we would kind of have had it figured out isn't it so humbling it's like dude we've done this we've had a kid before but we've not had this kid before we haven't so I think the biggest adjustment for me is our other two kids I think If there were any issues, it was sleep-related. Drew was bottle-fed, and that was kind of unique challenge.

But this one, Bear has slept like a champ, really, since the beginning. But he hasn't really been eating when he's up. So he's, like, the awake time is not as fun and tender as I remember of being, because there's just been like, hey, we got to make sure this gets eating. It's been precious. We'll also give you more of, like, his whole story and journey but he was our first like colicky baby which we did not expect um went through a bunch of things just trying to figure out what his little things were that we needed to work on

he had a tongue and lip tie um that we ended up getting released which really helped if not fixed the problem um but it was it was six really long weeks of trying to figure out why our little guy was so unhappy all the time that was a big adjustment oh that was really hard all right how do you equally divide your attention and love between the three kids and each other I don't think we've done a great job at dividing attention between each other what about you between you and I yeah with the kids we've still done date night but it's like so much your attention is going to the kids I read that completely I think between each other like if we have 100% attention Yeah.

How do we divide it between me to you and me to the three kids? Really, it's been me with the two big kids. Yeah. Me with the baby. Yeah. And then we do date nights, which honestly, I, again, can't imagine the past three months if we didn't do date nights. No. How much farther apart we would be.

Yeah, that'd be tough. We haven't really figured this out. We don't equally divide it yet. And I think that's not because we don't want to. it's just because we're still in a transition phase of trying to figure it out. In full transparency, I'm not spending enough time with you. I'm also not spending enough time with the bigs. Like I miss my big kids desperately.

But this phase of life, this transition phase demands a lot more one-on-one time with me and bear than it does with me and the bigs and vice versa. I've seen that you haven't been able to spend as much time with bear and it's hard especially given all the stuff we've had to figure out with him you haven't spent as much time with me but you get a lot of time with the bags

so it's like that's what I mean when when Bear's awake time is in his fun it's because I actually like yeah it's usually he's up and he's trying to figure out eating and so it's not up he's up and I get a play with him you know that's been tough I want to spend time with them

I think babies I freaking love babies I know. Dare I also include in this that we haven't figured out how you can just spend time with you and divide your attention. I think that's really critically important. I don't know when the shift occurs from being super baby focused to like, you know, people talk about the effect of when your kids are old and out of the house, you don't know

who you are anymore as a parent. The way to prevent that is slowly from the beginning, making sure. that you are investing in friends and vice friends investing in you so i want you to know that i'm here to support you in that if you want to put anything on the schedule any trips on the schedule i know i'll make it happen i know that and i know you support me so much in that area and i know we've talked about us before and i i keep telling you andrew that i just don't feel ready for that but i want it. I really want it. I want my time to me to regain my sanity. But there's this weird thing that I'm currently dealing with, which is bear still needs me a lot. And we're still trying to

figure out breastfeeding and his colic and like latching and all these things. But we're just now starting to get him into a schedule, into the groove. And he's progressing and doing so well and sleeping well. So now that's freeing up some time. I'm seeing glimpses of this time, which is amazing. But because I so desperately miss the bigs and I haven't been able to spend time with them, that free time now, I just want to spend with them.

So this will almost get harder to know how to divide your attention. But then that little time will free up and it's like, oh, now I want to spend time with my husband. so it's like you keep going down that which is daunting because like I'm like maybe I don't get me back for a while but I also need it you and I thrive when we're away for even a half hour and you're like hey I found this new song you know went on a drive or I found this new park you know even a half hour and it's not about like self-love self-care and the glorification

of that i think that's probably part of it but it's more it's such a unique challenge as a parent especially with a newborn you have such small fragmented windows randomly dispersed throughout the day where it's like okay the baby's down for a nap for 10 15 minutes what i want to do and then you just build this habit of like going on your phone and that's really most of our videos we talk about trying to meet parents in that phase of like hey let's bring a smile or thought to your day while you're in these random moments of of respite but there needs to be a slow progression away from refreshing your Instagram feed to recharging your soul anyway um we'll get there we'll get there number seven what would bear's name of ben if he is a girl do you want to share that

are we going to have any more kids i don't think we are maybe You want to share it? Yeah, why not? All right. I can't believe we're sharing this, but the name that we were going to have to I think is so epic. Unexpected. We both lit up, though, when we heard this name.

We did. And you go ahead, share it. If we were going to have a little girl, her name is going to be Goldie Jean East. G-O-L-D-I-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-East. Yeah. Goldie Jean Yeah My dad's middle name is Eugene

And his Yeah It's been a long family name If you haven't listened to our episode On How to Name a Baby Please go do that She didn't guess that one She did not guess that one

But I think she was close I think she was close But we definitely are embracing The full millennial odd name vibe Yeah Any particular reason We didn't opt for a minivan Yeah, what the heck, Sean?

I refuse to drive one. I'm sorry, that is just on me. Is it an identity thing for you? It's an identity thing, and I'm, it's fine. Why don't we make a minivan that's like really attractive to drive? Is that the- Called an SUV? No, it's not.

It's totally different things. Sliding doors. Wait, my new dream car guys, I'm trying to convince Andrew to let me get one and trade in our Yukon already. Is the new Lexus GX. but like the off-roading one it's so pretty great cool okay um number nine growing your family do you find it harder to keep relationships with friends who don't have kids 100% you don't get it dude 100% can I let's try to just unpack this a little bit the um one we talk about how parenting with some of our friends has like separated us from even when they have kids because the style

differences really get amplified oh you're really into like organic food well we're just somewhat in organic food and so you just naturally spend less time because like you don't want to go to the same restaurants you don't want to go over and cook that's like a weird thing and that organic food is like not even the tip of the iceberg that expands into whatever cloth diapers and what schools you go to and what shows you make them yeah it's just yeah your tend to you're styles kind of separate you because this is how the conversation goes it's like are you sleep training your kid no i heard that there's a study that that made uh that makes kids whatever worse off both parties feel isolated and then you're like we're not going to refresh this

we're not going to renew this friendship so that's one thing but then i think as a parent i have doubled down on like i don't know you take in some ways life more seriously yeah and also the scheduling just gets hard so like I'll get invited hey you want to to by one of my buddies doesn't have kids he's like you want to come hang at five I'm like in no world will I ever be able to hang out I can hang out before 7 a.m. on a good day or after 7 p.m. or after 7 p.m. and that's it and we go to bed at no joke or if there's like an exception to an event or like a guy's night or whatever that's like on a schedule but like on a whim that's very difficult and we go to bed at 8.15 so it's like the

of windows of time is just so small. But people who don't have kids, it's hard to understand. You just like, yeah, it's like, it's both philosophical differences, time differences. And there's also like style differences too.

I remember one of my friends when she started having kids and stuff, I'd be like, I would get offended because she wouldn't text back. It'd be hard to get a hold of her. She would never come over to game nights. And then you have kids,

I'm like, oh, I totally get it. Like, I'm not. answer your call. If it's your call or my kids, it's going to be my kid. Like, it's just... You're like more hectic around the house, but then you're also like, I don't want to be on my phone or I don't want to, like, I don't want to be, you don't want to be away from the kids, you know? Like, you want to spend time. It's such a precious phase. So yes, we have, we have spent less time with them. Um, how are we keeping the memory of dad alive with our kids? Oh, I think we're doing a great job. I'm really thankful. Well, Drew has a phenomenal memory. There's been a couple

things that she's brought up from like a year ago so when she was three and a half that she still remembers and talks about we also have a drawing that sean had commissioned um by richard bowers that is an apple tree which was the center of our household with bees and that's all things from my experience with my dad and so she'll drew a look at that and ask about papa and hey you remember when we used to picked apples with him we talk about them often and that's that's that's kind of what I mean by taking life more seriously it's like um you realize that that this is a legacy and and that affects your day today in little ways so it's like I want to be more intentional with what I'm speaking to my kids about we'll talk about Papa on the way to school and it just built

in that sense I don't know if that made sense but I'm really thankful for Sean's support and her active role and uh making sure that Papa is remembered by our kids how do you keep the born healthy and away from all the toddler germs oh my this was we haven't talked about this one of my frustrations with you because also appreciation this is a style difference that you and i have is the kids would be all up in the baby's face and sean a couple dozen times a day no no no no no and you would get frustrated and i'm like yo you know what who cares and that's also not right But there's some sweet spot in between. I'm optimistic.

Should I stop talking? No, it's just style differences. It's the difference of being a postpartum mom versus a postpartum dad. And it's just different. Do you forgive me? I do. It's okay. I don't go to the ends of the earth where it's like take my toddlers out of school, quarantine them for.

a few weeks before the baby arrives, which is very, very common, which is totally fine. We don't really keep the toddlers away from the baby. Yes, they're all up in their face. At the end of the day, the first weeks are hard because you're so protective and you're so scared.

And the pediatrician has told you there's so many things that they can get and it's scary and all these things. but I just tried to tell myself like I'm breastfeeding him which is one of the best things I personally and my journey can do for him and as long as our kids aren't spiking a massive fever and super sick I'll try to like bite my tongue and be okay with it and just teach them let's kiss his feet let's kiss his belly Let's kiss the top of his head. Let's just not try to lick his face. Yeah. But practically, we have like the little stokey holder that we put the baby.

We do try to elevate the kid as much as possible. And that's maybe the only practical thing we do other than telling the kids, give him space. It was also hard because, like, a week or two after he was born, we did Christmas with extended family, 10 kids under the age of 10, or under the, age of six who are they were all sick they all had like the flu and everything and you know December babies are hard December babies are tough it's cold you don't go outside you don't really get the sunlight everyone's sick it was yeah it was stressful but we're making it through guys okay what is the sorry is there anything you were really nervous about being a family of five that actually hasn't been that bad you can get protein at home or a protein latte at

Tim's. No powders, no blenders, no shakers. Starting at 17 grams per medium latte, Tim's new protein lattes, protein without all the work, at participating restaurants in Canada. I don't know if I was nervous. I was really pumped for the third kid, and I think it's I think I kind of fight wanting Bear to already be older because I'm having so much fun. with the four and two year old. I get that. So much fun. So it's like I want him to be a part of that.

I feel that too. I already feel like he's missing out. And I feel like like we're missing out on like the play time with all of us already. Because he's still an infant and I can't like jump in the pool with him yet or, you know, whatever. But no. Nothing I was really nervous about. I could see how having twins would be really difficult. Brough.

Yeah. That would be tough. It would be tough. Yeah, because people talk about that, you know, you're nervous for the transition two to three and you lose man-to-man coverage. I haven't really felt that. No.

But if you had two young babies that aren't as fun to play with as our four- and two-year-old, that would be tough. Yeah. What's the most rewarding thing about being a parent? Talk about this all the time. The interesting thing about communicating this as a parent

is the tough things in parenting are really tangible, easy to grasp things. Hey, you're not sleeping as much. oh you can't go out because you got to put the baby down to sleep oh you need to get babysit all these things it's it's a financial cost but the benefits of it are a little more untangible but i think just like everything else in life the best things come slowly over time and so it's like oh whatever it's it's exponentially more rewarding than these things i'm about to mention but fitness goals it doesn't happen overnight but you you look back five years down the road and you're

wow, I'm actually pretty fit or financially. It's like it doesn't feel that rewarding to slowly contribute month to month to your investment account, but fast forward five years and it's like incredibly rewarding. As a parent, it's like, dude, you're building, you're stacking these days and these memories.

And then you see Drew now learns how to draw this and she had no, she knows how to draw her name now. I know. That seems like such an obvious small thing for those people listening. But as a parent, when you know that she didn't even know to hold a pencil two years ago you're like what the freak that blows your mind anyway i'm done

you're going to start crying i'm just hyped seeing these little tiny humans become people and have character and quirks to them and personalities and preferences and opinions and seeing them learn and develop and grow is so cool. It's just so cool. And equally coupled with that is to see your partner step up and again kind of take life in this more serious tone, it's really meaningful.

That's the word that comes to mind. How do you keep the older kids quiet when the newborn has to nap? Or does the third baby just get used to the noise? He sleeps better when they're screaming. Yeah, dude, no joke. If it's silent, he doesn't sleep. sleep. He's just used to it. Yeah. I don't know if it's like in the third baby's jeans or if they're

used to it because they've been conditioned to it. If you're trying to keep toddlers quiet so a baby can sleep, that baby ain't never going to sleep. I, we're about to post a short that I just find so humorous when we had Drew, our first kid. It was like you had to have the sound machine on. It had to be dark. We had the blankets and everything. We had all these like portable things to make sure the conditions were perfect. And now it's like it's chaos and bears asleep. Yeah. Logistically, how do you do bath time and bedtime with three kids? I think this might have been what I was most nervous about

because I was afraid of losing that quality time with our bigs, putting them down. The schedule has kind of just worked out. I don't know how. No, it's taken, the first seven weeks we're not like this. But now we're in this really fun. We're in a really fun phase right now at 12 weeks where the bigs will do bath time bedtime with them together like all of us together around seven o'clock as soon as we get them put down then we'll take bear into his room we'll do his bath time and his bedtime routine and put him

to sleep which is really fun yeah so we get we get bear time which is really nice because you realize he's your third kid probably our last kid we haven't got a lot of solo time with him as a baby yeah We've only done a bath with all three of them one time. It gets a little chaotic, a little stressful. We're not there yet. Yeah. Yeah. And one of us usually holds a baby while the other person puts PJs and diapers and all the things on,

and then we'll divide and conquer from there for bedtime. As a parent, I spend more time scrolling through the TV and, like, all of the programs trying to find kid-friendly content than I would care to admit to. and it's really hard to find something that checks all of the boxes and is like good morals, good values, teaches your kids good things. But also is entertaining. It's impossible. It's always fine. And it takes so much effort until we found the streaming service, Minow.

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It's perfect for family movie nights, sick days, or just some downtime. And let me tell you, guys, I have notes in so many places. around our house, on my phones, of blacklisted shows. You'd never have to worry about that with Minnow. It's all amazing content. Plus, all their shows and movies are screened by a team of parents, pastors, and educators to ensure that they're age-appropriate, entertaining, and align with faith-based values. I love that we never have to worry about questionable content or ads popping up because

we know that Minow has our kids' best interests in mind. Not to mention that the shows are cute, catchy, and super fun. Our kids love them. Whether you're a parent looking for content to watch together as a family or just need a break and want to be able to press play and feel okay, try Minnow. We stream Minow in our house and we want you to do the same. Head to gomino.com and use the code Family Made to get your first month for free. That's G-O-M-I-N-O dot com forward slash family made for one free month of Minow streaming service. If you want shows that are as entertaining and engaging as everything else, but that reflect,

your values and teach your kids about the things that actually matter sign up for minnow today but it's usually someone has the baby and the other person's like taking care of the bigs or we're all like passing the baby off back and forth and i will say pro tip for uh bath time try to do all the you know you could read books to them while they're in the bath you could brush her teeth while they're in the back try to batch it all yeah at least our boy is sprinting back and forth until he's in the bed. Literally every night. So when he's in the bath,

it's kind of easier to just knock all that stuff out. How do you integrate faith into your everyday life for the little ones? Prayers when we wake up, prayers when we go to bed, prayers before meals, Sunday school. We do Bible stories before bed.

Sunday morning before church. We'll watch veggie tales or minnow. And then I would say more so it drew because of her age. Nightmares and stuff have started to become a thing. Fears. She talked about a nightmare the other night about monsters or volcanoes and lava was a fear at one point. And so integrating faith and God, courage, you know, all of this stuff into those conversations before bedtime. Like, God's got you, he's surrounding you, he's protecting you, and it sparks a lot of conversation.

Mental really has been integral in that If you haven't checked them out It's a kid's Christian streaming service And it just makes you realize That the Bible really has some good values to teach Whether you're into religion or not And it's like a great entry point With stories involved and everything

But yeah we just started each day With this the day Lord has made Let's rejoice and be glad in it That's our prayer And then we end each day with the Lord's prayer We do quick Which both the kids can say start to finish which is wild.

So it's not like it doesn't overwhelm the day we don't overdo it but I think it's integral to use the word but from the question. Do you always recommend living by family

when you have kids and what would you do if Sean's parents didn't live by? How I would answer this question is do I always recommend living close to family before kids

I was going to say like I don't think it matters after kids, yes. Yeah, I agree. And if my parents didn't live by I think we would live in Andy. Yeah, you have a whole new perspective.

Again, okay, so we talked about the stylistic differences, and then you realize that, okay, the style that I'm drawn to is because of the family I grew up in. And so naturally the conversations I want to have and like the feedback I get is easier and more efficient with the family I came from. And then, yeah, I mean, having intergenerational families live

in a close proximity is game changing. And it seems like everyone kind of ultimately ends up there at some point. Yeah. Where it's, oh, hey, we're moving back to be by my parents. It's great. Time is short. All right, we got three more. Yeah. Are your kids in a mommy

or daddy phase right now and does this change often? It does change often. It does change. I think every six months. Yeah. And it also is like, it depends on the scenario. So, like, we're in a constant mommy's comfort, daddy's play. That's just kind of like how it is.

But I would say the bags are in a daddy phase, which makes sense. Because I'm not there for them right now. Is it hard? Yeah. I think it's hard on both sides of us. Yeah, but sometimes it's refreshing to realize, like, hey, they need me, but they don't need me that much. And, like, they're fine with mom. Yeah.

And I have this selfish. I have this selfish thing as a parent that I want them to just be dependent on me and like that's not necessarily true. This episode is brought to you by Defender. With its 626 horsepower twin turbo V8 engine, the Defender Octa is taking on the Dakar rally.

The ultimate off-road challenge. Learn more at landrover.ca. As a mom, how do I deal with Oval? the overwhelming mental load of having three kids. I feel like, you know, that Instagram gif, gif of like Albert Einstein where all those like graphics, graphics, algebraic expressions, equations are like roaming. That's like my head at all times. I'm like, did I forget something about school?

Are they in all the activities they should be in? Has bear eaten recently? did a give way it's just all always there how do I deal with it um I'm still trying to figure it out I try to write it down I try to put calendars together together together so that more and more people can help my mental load it's really interesting how you answered that question and it's logistically that was actually really helpful for me to listen to because there could be the emotional mental load too that's a part of it I think to describe my brain you know how if I get overwhelmed or angry or something I clean yeah it's like

it's that like being able to like organize my life allows for a lot of my mental load to like disappear why are you just not telling this now that work shouldn't you just figure it out that's hilarious thank you so much so like in my mental load all the overwhelming stuff, if I can write it down and have someone else help me be like, remember,

you have to drop off Valentine's gifts today or Valentine's goodies or the box. It's like, that really helps. Logistically figuring things out makes me feel under control.

You should have told me that eight years ago. Thank you. Number 20, last one. This is going to be the last one we answered today. Maybe we do a part two. Yeah.

Is that work? Yeah. Okay. What does our support system of close friends and family look like? I will say we're spending less time with friends now. I think there's naturally that's a phase.

We have a lot that needs to be taken care of in our home. Transitions to figure out new rhythms to find. We see Sean's parents five days a week. Or more. And then we try to sneak in like a weekend brunch. That's important to us. We did a meal train. If you're having a baby, I would recommend that.

That was actually that far extent. seeded in my expectations and was way more enjoyable and meaningful than I expected it to be to see friends often as long or as short as you want them to and to like give them a way to invest in you was really fun and like you know it pulls you out of the fog a little bit I would say to you we started this probably a few months before we had bear but every Friday night we do pizza in a movie and that's kind of like still our open door policy where we try to we have consistent friends who come over with their kids

for pizza and movie night who just had a kid who just had a kid as well like a week ago but we try at least one night or day a week to do like community building with our close friends

but yeah we're in that weird transition phase of getting back into our groove church is really helpful to be honest one of the large motivations for us to go back to church was a child care there And then we go and talk with adults for whatever, even just 10 minutes.

And that makes a big difference. So it's a phase. Yeah. It's a phase. Okay. I feel like that's a good number. Let's do a part two. Okay.

Thank you all for listening. I love doing these, actually. I mean, I learn about you so much when we do these episodes. I learn about you too, baby. I think we're going to focus a lot more on just Sean and I episodes in 2024. That's been the feedback that we have received. And also, they're pretty enjoyable. for me to do for that reason.

They're enjoyable for me too. So if you have any other questions, send them in. We'll post on Instagram, so check that. Please, we're taking any and all advice, okay? Put those in the YouTube comments if you're over there. Help us out. And just know that we do love hearing from you guys. We don't just do this for a one-sided conversation.

So chime in, chip in. We love it. And let us know what episode you want to see. That's how we got. I'm Andrew. I'm Sean. With the East fam, out.