Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew - 224 | reacting to your WORST date stories of all time

Episode Date: August 7, 2024

Today we sat down and reacted to some of your WORST date stories and whoa… you weren’t joking!! We laughed, we cringed and we felt your pain with some of these unbelievable dates that sound too cringy and hilarious to be true. We’re going to have to do a “Part 2” of this because we had so much fun and there’s more to share so stay tuned! Let us know what we should react to next ;)  Love you guys! Shawn and Andrew Subscribe to our newsletter! ▶ https://www.familymade.com/newsletter Follow our podcast Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/couplethingspod/?hl=en Follow My Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/ShawnJohnson Follow My Tik Tok ▶ https://www.tiktok.com/@shawnjohnson Shop My LTK Page ▶ https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shawnjohnson  Like the Facebook page! ▶ https://www.facebook.com/ShawnJohnson Follow Andrew’s Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/AndrewDEast Andrew’s Tik Tok ▶ https://www.tiktok.com/@andrewdeast?lang=en Like the Facebook page! ▶ https://www.facebook.com/AndrewDEast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you're with Amex Platinum, you get access to exclusive dining experiences and an annual travel credit. So the best tapas in town might be in a new town altogether. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Terms and conditions apply. Learn more at Amex.ca. what's up everybody welcome back to couple things with Sean and Andrew I'm really excited for this one based off what the team has said who has scripted this for us and everybody who has submitted all these stories this is about to be a good one it is reacting to your worst dates I got a lot of texts

personally of people who wanted to share their stories anonymously really but I've heard from the grapevine through the grapevine that some of these are wild so we have not read them yet it will be an interesting episode because we will be sharing these stories which are at length and then giving you our reactions bear with us because these are supposed to be somewhat shocking yeah and this is just from our instagram i know so i'm sure there's crazier stories out there but i'm excited to see what our people go through yeah a couple of life updates for you guys we did launch our second podcast which is called second cup that's right it's going to be on the same youtube channel that you find a couple of things but it'll have a different RSS feed if you're listening

on Apple podcast Spotify it'll be a different show have its own feed so check it out it'll be our interview show I'm excited for it I'm so excited for it also I think by the time you listen to this we will be in Europe but as of right now not to confuse things we are getting ready to leave yes and we are so excited I have no idea what to expect um I think it's going to be a lot of fun I think it will be very crazy yeah I don't know where I set my expectations so we're going over for the Olympics we're staying downtown Paris we don't have tickets to anything no we know we have some work obligations we don't know what those are to give you a little more detail with the no ticket thing Andrew and I are credentialed as media so Andrew and I can get into any event to cover for media. However, the no ticket situation is a little sticky because it seems to be very confusing this year

and I don't know how to get our kids and our moms in. So we're just going to try to figure it out as we go. We're going to have a good time. It'll be an adventure and I'm excited for it. But Sean and I had a really fun opportunity to have a couple days to ourselves.

Yes. We went to Turks and Caicos, actually with a group of friends. Life-changingly beautiful. We had some wonderful family help take care of the kids while we were gone, but we're going to be all together as a family now for, I guess, the next six weeks. I'm so excited. Yeah.

So it was nice that Sean and I got, what, three nights together? Turks and Kekos is beautiful. We had a lot of fun giggles, a lot of good memories. A lot of good memories. My favorite was probably two favorites, just to give you a quick little thing. one there was one day we're absolutely torrential downpour like storm weather and it was we were kind of all sitting there on the brink of like oh this is kind of a bummer and then we were like you know what let's just be kids and we went sprinting down to the beach I think someone said last one there is a rotten egg we went sprinting down to the beach and we played beach volleyball in a torrential downpour for probably two hours Yeah, it was a fun day. And it was incredible.

The other one was we were on a boat out in the ocean. And out of nowhere, a dolphin swims up and is basically chasing the boat within like arm's length distance. You could touch him. Jumping out of the water, having the time of his life. Then we got in the water and he was like swimming with us. It was so magical. Sean was giggly. You were like a giggly little girl.

It's hilarious. So much so that one of our friends had like shared the video with someone and thought it was a Drew. Yeah. because of the sounds I was making, but no. We also paraciled and some very steep winds. But anyway, it's a great time. And I'm glad that we get to spend the rest of the summer with the family. Me too, baby.

And I'm glad that you and I got that special time together. So it's going to be a wild couple weeks. But you guys have some wild dates that we need to talk about. So let's roll into it, shall we? Let's do it. Okay. You got the first one? Yes.

Wild date story number one This person says That they went on a double date With my cousin and his friends We went minigolfing And on the last hole My cousin swung back And knocked his date's front tooth out

Like clean out There was tons of blood And her tooth was gone She was such a good sport though And instead of just going home We went to in and out And she drank a milkshake With the straw through her toothhole

No No no no no no no That chick's wifey dude she's got wife material for sure they didn't do don't you need to go see like a doctor what do you do i think you need to i think you should go see like a dentist bro what i respect the game she just went to get a milkshake right after wow that would be traumatizing for both parties especially if you're in the dating process where you're trying to like court each other that's like what's the movie with um will smith and eva mendes where he knocks her out on

jet ski uh hitch hitch that's that's that's hitch level right there wow okay that's a good start number two i once went on a date with this guy who was super nice chivalrous and charming except while we were at the restaurant he kept wiggling in his seat and moving around subtly i had no idea why until i realized that he was scratching his butt with his hands after he scratched he'd tried to discreetly smell his fingers by bringing his hands up to his face like he was trying to rest his head on his hand or pretending to scratch his nose and face. Worst of all, he didn't even go to the bathroom to wash his hands before we started eating the finger food appetizers.

Oh, I'm out. Unless this guy's got some tough illness, I'm out, you know? That's nasty. Wow. That is nasty. I don't. I also, how are you, is he sitting on his hand? I don't know.

I'm so confused. He tries. I knew a guy on my football team that always tried to smell his doo-do. His poop? Yeah. No. Why? He thought there was something instinctual about it and it told him if he was healthy or not.

He actually became a doctor. It's a true story. What do you think about that? Do you think there's something to it? Is it the doctor I know? I don't know who that is still. Hold on it. Don't. Don't. Do you think there's something to it, though?

No, it's gross. It's just gross. It's like bad hygiene. It's nasty. It's a bad habit. Don't do it. Okay. Number three. I got asked out by a guy in my math class for the first week of school. He took me to see a comedian. We got to our seats. And then about 20 minutes later, someone tapped me on my shoulder and told me I was sitting in their seat. My date looked at me embarrassed and told me he honestly wasn't sure if I would say. say yes to the date. So he brought, wait, what? He bought my ticket separately and my seat was actually on the other side of the giant stadium by myself. I had to get up and walk across the entire stadium and watch

the whole show alone. Oh, I thought he was going to say like he ordered, he invited someone else. I mean, it's sweet, but it's also like sad. You get it? Wait, but this guy bought a ticket by himself then too, huh? He did. And then last minute wanted to ask a date out, thinking, oh,

no chance but then she says yes so he like scrambles to buy a second ticket brushes it off i think the only thing he should have done though is like when the person came to sit in her actual or in their actual seat and she had to move leave yeah i agree take a walk let's do this let's say is this let's put like red beige or green flag on these so the first one with uh tooth out is that it's a green flag it's fine it's fine like it's fine like you're it was a, that's not intentional. So, a green flag. Green flag on her part, too.

Yeah, I would say it's fine on his part who knocked the tooth out. Green flag on her part for how she dealt with it. The guy who scratches his butt, red flag. Yeah. There'd need to be quite a bit of explaining.

I think if it ended at like butt scratching, I'd kind of be like, maybe he has something wrong, like whatever. But the fact that he kept trying to smell his fingers. Dude, just do that on your own time, man. So that's a red flag. Red flag. The comedy club.

I'm going to say like beige. I think it's like beige. Like he was trying and then he probably got freaked out and like didn't know what to do. Bage flag. Yeah. Number four. You got it. I ate at a taco place and things were going great.

Food was good. Conversation was flowing and my date was pretty cute. Then he said, man, I'm so full. I think I'll name my food baby Philip. I said, okay. He says, do you want to know why I would name him fill up? I said, I guess so. And he replies, because I'm going to fill up the toilet.

Dude. Haven't seen him since, and I have no plans to. Oh, my gosh. Okay. That's maybe a joke you make to your other dude friends when you're in, like, middle school or high school. Here's my concern. In Nashville, there's...

I don't think you would even make that joke to me. What do you mean? Like right now. married 10 years in. Well, no, because it's not really funny unless you're in middle school or high school. And it's, but it's definitely, I would say most toilet jokes are... And your closest friends. Yeah.

Yeah. Here's my concern, though, with Nashville, it has some all-boys schools. Yeah. Right? And I feel like there's this lack of awareness that could be a side effect of going to an all-boys school where you think that that's fine to say on your first day. You know, a joke like that. Yeah.

I think, like, if you're on a date at any point in your relationship, 30 years married, first date, there's, you always want to maintain a little bit of, like, courtship where you're trying to impress each other, you're trying to, like, put on your, put your best foot forward. This is just not good, buddy. I'd say kind of a red flag. well just because the sense of humor seems to be not there yeah yeah yeah i think age does matter though you know yeah it does make me think of carl pillamer a guy we interviewed early on in the couple things show days and he wrote a book called the 30 lessons on love and one of the things that one of these elderly people say is like they try not to break wind

is how they said it in front of their significant other because they want to preserve this courtship or like I want you to have the best image of me which could be like a little extreme for people which I totally get but it's the idea of you always want to put your best foot forward

for your spouse. Let me sit because I want to unpack this because that was that was extreme for me when I first heard it. But as we've gotten older and like it is when I first read I was like oh that's so inauthentic or you know like oh why are you trying to force an image but then I realize you see really already the best and worse sides of me and I don't need to enhance the worst sides you know it says something about how I want you to perceive me or how much I care about you by wanting to preserve that I get that I agree you're ready to move on next number five my date brought me to a golf course at night and set up a picnic it was beautiful until the sprinklers turned on and pelted me in the back of the head with the force of a fire hose

I looked like a wet rat and it hurts so bad I wanted to cry I mean it's a cute moment that could be embraced and like made fun it stinks that she wanted to cry I know if it hurt like that's sad but you should also like tell your date that I'd say this is this is not a red flag is that your stomach oh my gosh it's okay wow you got philip in there gross no I haven't had breakfast this guy didn't mean to probably you know so yeah that's why yeah it's okay if Sean and I are coming off uh I feel like a little tired it's it's morning on Thursday and we had a late night last night we did I don't know if I ever want to stay up that late again

We stayed up to 11 And it was too much Okay Number six I'll try to get a little more chipper for you okay I met a guy at a restaurant and we had a great time I had bad gas But held it in

I held it all in Until I was back in my car driving home When I let it all out It was bad We came to a light My date ran Oh no to my car Knocking on my window to tell me something

I didn't want to roll down my window because he would get a big whiff of what I was holding in for hours but I had no choice I embarrassedly slowly buzzed down my window and the smell hit his face

he looked at me like I had something dead in my car he literally just wanted to tell me my tail light was out and ran back to his car he did call me again but I was so embarrassed I never answered his calls

this is where you have to This is where a sense of comedy comes in handy. You have to, like, just break the ice, acknowledge the elephant in the room, you know, and say, oh, my stomach hurts. If the window goes down and it hits my nose, I think so. Why wouldn't she just have rolled down her window real quick?

I've been like, oops, and then rolled down the wrong window, you know, let it all get out. Dang, that's a bummer. I don't think she should have screened his calls, though, you know? I think she should have answered his calls. And then, you know, down the road, been like, I'm so sorry, I'm so embarrassed.

And then got it out. Dang, dude. That brings back such bad memories of being in school. I don't know what it is about that age. Actually, probably all the junk food were crushing those days. But I remember, like, sitting in class and your stomach is upset. You just have to hold on to it until, like, did that ever happen to you? That was, like, a weekly thing.

Yes. That was my least favorite part of school, was the stomach issue. who are you drinking like a gallon of milk at a time? I crushed milk. I had like a box of cereal a day. Oh, yeah. Yeah, anyway.

All right. Number seven, met this guy online and he was part of a skydiving team that was performing during a minor league game and as a first date, he offered me tickets. Since he was performing, he wasn't able to sit with me during the game and the plan was to enjoy the game

and meet up after. I ended up sitting next to these girls and after chatting with them for a while, we all realized we were invited by the same guy. Not sure what his plan was there, but I didn't stick around after that discovery. Dude. No.

Red flag. Come on. You sat them all next to each other too? This guy is real dumb. He's probably like, this is the peak cool thing I could show anybody. So let me invite all these girls. Let me do a shotgun approach and kind of see who's.

And then all meet up later? that's not good thinking bad strategy it's kind of like you before our first day just juggling the women not like that not like that number eight um i was on a date with this guy and halfway through our meal he took out his phone and started filming a selfie video for his apparent youtube channel he apologized to his subscribers for not posting a video in a while i thought it was so weird because i was literally just sitting there eating as he filmed later he kissed me and let out a huge scream in my face out of nowhere because he got

a cramp in his leg and couldn't move it after he left I looked him up on YouTube and he had 16 subscribers I texted him the next day saying the chemistry wasn't there and he posted a quote on his Instagram saying quote one day

somebody will realize what they could have what they could have had and it'll be the biggest mistake of their life da da da that we had only hung out twice Wow, 16. It doesn't matter. I mean, here, we're in this business.

Yeah. Right. And it is like, you only need, it doesn't matter about the numbers, but, no, no, there's just no excuse. No, I don't care if you have 16 million subscribers. You're not pulling out a video

to selfie yourself. There's a time and a place, and that's not it. I feel like he was in some way maybe trying to impress her or like he got awkward. It couldn't feel like, empty space but like no the cramp in the leg and the scream in the face that could be funny

that could be funny but this guy sounds like he has a sense of humor and i hope he was doing it like as a joke dude 16 subscriber filming a video that's great number nine this guy had planned out our day and it all went great until he got a call from work He worked as an embalmer, which is someone who preserves human remains. His boss told him that there was a body ready right now at the hospital that needed to be picked up asap. So we drove to the hospital. No, no, no. I waited in the cars.

He went in and came back with a human body in a bag. Shut up. He put him in the back seat and slid it forward on the gurney. So here I am sitting in the front seat with a legit dead body behind me. We took it to the morgue and then he proceeded to show me the other bodies that were in the first. freezer he has. It was definitely interesting, but safe to say this was our first and last date, because I was so

weirded out. Wow. I don't know what his move was there. I feel like... I've never been around a dead body. That would shake me. That would shake me. I have to say this. This is not going to go over well. So I apologize to anybody

who's listening who is an embalmer, but it might... If you are an embalmer, maybe you got to do something like this to really find your match. Because I feel like not many people are okay with... Not on the first date, though. There's an onboarding process. Oh, my gosh.

You're not going first date. It's not okay. I'd like to hear the other side of these stories. But like at what point in a relationship do you tell someone, I'm actually, I'm an embalmer? no you could tell somebody on the first date and then you could tell them yeah it's interesting it's tough because we're around dead bodies but you don't pick dead bodies up all the time i think this is like you know date five i don't know bro that's weird that's tough okay number 10 my first date was with a guy who had nothing planned but i really liked him so i decided to go along with it we drove around for four hours and conveniently quiver ended up at what my town considers make-out point.

So I knew what he wanted to do. He then turns Hakuna Matata on the radio. Pretty good song. Who puts on Hakuna freaking Matata to set the mood for a first kiss. He was mad when I told him I wouldn't kiss him to a Disney song. Anyways, we ended up dating a little bit, but then he broke up with me over email. I should have known. I should have known.

I don't know. That's not a red flag at all. I think that's really cute and funny. Is Hakuna Matata great? song? Yes. Is it a great song for romance? I haven't tried, so probably not, though, is what I'm thinking. And

makeout point, does every town have a makeout point? I don't know. Did we have a makeout point? Yeah, for sure. Where? Love Circle. What do you mean? I took you there. What did you take me there, babe? Look at the, it's a beautiful It's a beautiful skyline. I don't know. I feel like if that was his personality and it was like cute like maybe he was trying to be like childish it's cute

but i also don't like that he didn't have any plans for a first date there there's so much that could be filled in here like gray area where it's like if he's really stubborn about not turning a kakuna matata off yeah that's a red flag yeah if he turns it on as a joke and then he turns it off when you're when you're like done with the joke yeah and that's fine you know oh this is it the day you finally ask for that big promotion. You're in front of your mirror with your Starbucks coffee. Be confident. Assertive.

Remember eye contact, but also remember to blink. Smile, but not too much. That's weird. What if you aren't any good at your job? What if they demo you instead? Okay, don't be silly. You're smart. You're driven.

You're going to be late if you keep talking to the mirror. This promotion is yours. Go get them. Starbucks. It's never just coffee. it is interesting thinking about the early days of love though it's like there is so much embarrassing things that happen yes i think that's a good if they're responded to well on both parties and that's kind of what the whole thing is about kind of it's like how is she going to respond let's get in as

many new situations as possible to see how i respond to see how you respond to see how we respond together does she make fun of me or whatever you know and each each person needs something different but anyway number 11 my cousin set me up on a blind date at a baseball game we were eating sunflower seeds love it and my date had one in his teeth so I was nice and told him about it he then proceeded to reach over and pluck a hair out of my head and start flossing his teeth with it I was mortified and the ick was immediately in full force like he didn't even ask to take my hair car I immediately pulled the fake fall asleep move so I wouldn't have to interact with him for the rest of the date. Wow the fake ball of sleep move is fake fall asleep can you just do that like you get

done with the baseball game you're like I'm gonna take a nap on the drive home I don't know I don't know I don't know if this is an ick it's not it could be funny but it's not right to snipe somebody's you'd be pissed to me right now you know yeah and it was a blind date so the fact that it's like first eight might be a little much, but I don't think it's like massive end of the spectrum. It could be funny. It could be funny. It doesn't sound like it was taken like that. No. So it's probably red flag. The fact that these are

received like this, you know? Yeah. How its process makes a lot of, how you make somebody feels. But also the fake fall asleep move type. I don't know. I don't know. I think a lot of these could also be coming from a funny point like maybe he thought it could be funny

that's what I'm saying but the fact that it it wasn't received like that to me they're like they're not compatible it's so hard too on a first date because you're trying so hard and you don't know how to like get across your sense of humor

so I can see potentially if something falls flat people panic and instead of being like dude I'm so sorry I was literally just trying to be funny I think they panic and go quiet and it makes them look like a d-bag or something does that make sense that's good insight there go ahead because like if you do that to me now i might be like what's the freak but it's also

like funny we'd be able to get over it though it would be addressed we'd move it through it okay number 12 went on a date with a college baseball player a catcher and for the date he took me to the mall and went to every sports store and every sport store he swung multiple bats and tried on multiple catcher's mitts for hours. Gloves down, the most boring date I have ever been on. First of all, this chick sounds funny. Gloves down, like hands down. Yeah. You get it.

I get that. Feels a little selfish on his part. Self-indulgent, maybe, too. Yeah. He also doesn't seem like he was super interested in her. Yeah. I think that's my big issue with it. Well said.

Yeah. Yeah. number 13 for my first match.com date i was so nervous so nervous to meet up with someone i met on the internet he said something funny and i overly reacted with a full belly laugh and kind of flung my head forward and stabbed my cheek with a plastic straw when i pulled back it was stuck in my cheek and then it fell off and i was bleeding i had a hold a napkin in my face for the rest of the date it was horrible. That's a bummer.

It's a bummer, but it's also not a red flag. Like if he really thought he was that funny and that happened, that's a bummer, but... Dang, a straw in the face, though? That takes a lot of force. Jeez. A plastic straw, too? That's funny. When I was dating my ex-boyfriend, I went to go meet his parents for the first time.

I was in high school and I was nervous for this moment. Their names were Jarrett and Kelly When we walked inside the house I went to greet them and proceeded to confidently say Hi Jelly, hi carrot Swapping the first letters of their names I felt so embarrassed as the room broke out into laughter And never lived it down the whole two years we dated

Definitely a top embarrassing moment for me Love your podcast and all you guys do That's funny, hi jelly, hi carrot You know when you get something stuck in your head Yeah Just don't call them jelly and carrot And then you can't move past that. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't think that's that embarrassing, though. I think it's cute. You dated for two years. Yeah, yeah. Not that embarrassing. Yeah. Jarrett and Kelly.

How about that? Jared. 15. I went on a date with a guy who was an Elvis impersonator. I didn't know this beforehand. And he did a really loud Elvis impression at dinner, and I was so embarrassed that I couldn't eat. also in his car his name was embroidered everywhere

headrests armrest backseat etched into the dashboard when we went to a movie after dinner he decided to hold my hands yes both hands at the same time in the movie I deleted his number later

that does feel aggressive you know it's like it feels more controlling right boy but it's Was it like two hands, like this? Like holding a hand in each hand? Or is like two hands and one hand?

This is fascinating. People are so interesting because maybe that's how his parents showed affection and he's trying to be sweet, but then it comes off as weird. Also, why the name everywhere? Why did he have his name embroidered everywhere? Was it comedic or was it serious? Boys in high school with their first cars get weird, I feel like. You want to make it yours.

You got the subwoofer in the backseat, try to put some fancy. Embroidered your name on the headrest, arm, backseat and etched into the dashboard did you ever have a seat cushion on your like uh no you never did the seat i never did the seat cushion or the steering wheel handle you never did that never well me neither but it was really no i never did but that was popular in high school you know because you're trying to customize you got whatever you're hanging from the rear view you had something hanging from your rear view yeah what i have no idea we had jd bought uh the smallest pair of

Jordans that he could and we hung it like baby shoes yeah oh that's weird i i haven't thought about this until just now those are baby shoes not like a key chain like like infant shoes they were really cool as if to say to everyone i have a child i have a kid oh that's funny jenny what was up with that dude wow oh man um this guy feels like a little different. A little different. Yeah. Elvis impersonator,

is that his full-time job? Yeah. Yeah. Again, I also read into this like people are trying, you know, but, ugh. Would you rather this Elvis guy

go full on or or him try to hide himself, you know? It's a little give and take on a first day. Like, you should probably rain back on some things, you know? You shouldn't, like, be Elvis the whole night, maybe. Right. But.

This is something that you would get super embarrassed at if I did some loud impression. I don't know if I would get so embarrassed that I couldn't eat, which is what it says. I don't know. It's tough because you're on a first, it's like, I don't know this guy. If we're married and I do that and you're like, all right, well, I'm married. this guy so I'm going to have to deal with this but I'm sitting with someone I don't know who just did this embarrassing

thing you know but you also don't want to be vanilla on a first date so you want to show character you want to figure out quickly of like what you're about I don't know what the there seems to be some weird signals coming off but you get the next

one okay I went on a date to the restaurant islands the restaurant is called islands I had a bit of a tummy ache and I was kind of gassy. I finally had to let out a silent fart. Little did I know that would be the most horrid smelling one of my life. I smelled it and just prayed my date wouldn't notice.

Then someone walked by our table and my date smelled it and started commenting very loudly. Oh my gosh. Do you smell that? I think those people just farted as they walked past our table. It's so bad. Oh, man. I absolutely died. Then he kept talking about how disgusted he was that someone would do that.

I couldn't take it anymore. I calmed him down and whispered across the table. That was me. I'm so sorry. I couldn't let you keep blaming those other people out loud. I was mortified. Somehow he didn't leave right then. We've now been married for 14 years.

We still laugh at the date. It's one of our favorite stories. Wow. That's great. I like how that story resolved. Me too. She fessed up, you know. I was afraid he was going to leave.

But I do think it might have been slightly red flag to, like, be outing those people. loudly. Yeah. But if they've now figured it out and come full circle, married 14 years. That's great. I'm also really proud that she said something. I like that story.

Me too. That's good. That's like a great example of responding to something. It is. 17. My date took me mini golfing. That seems to be a popular first date. It's a great first date. Well, a great first date if you're trying to have a bad first date, it seems like they keep showing up here. Anyway, mini golfing and tried

all sorts of trick shots. sorry sorry tried all sorts of tricks to touch me like helping with my swing on the way home i was driving and he told me since i lost i had to choose for him to either kiss me or punch me i really didn't like him so i chose punch never saw him or his stupid fedora okay these are hard to read because we don't know like each style is so different yeah and like the the word choice batch is random. This one feels a little like an ick because

the trying all sorts of tricks to touch me and being like you have two choices and two choices only. Kiss me or punch me. Like it feels a little not okay.

Yeah here's the thing. I mean helping with my swing it goes back to signals like what vibes are you given off right? And it's like oh this guy actually is a like cares about minigolf and he wants to help me swing that touch feels different than oh let me help it would be received different than like the yeah the way this is written though it doesn't seem like she was giving off the like oh help me it seems like he was which makes all

the difference really trying to put the moves on which is i don't think it's okay yeah and the kiss kiss me or punch me not a good move i kind of like that she punched him yeah Stupid fedora. All right, you're like the next. Okay. A guy left me at the theater during a movie date because he literally forgot he was on a date. Dang.

What? He drove us there in mid-movie. He left for a while. So I thought maybe he was having a bathroom issue. He never came back. So I left to go find him in the lobby and started to get worried. I ended up texting him like,

hey, are you okay? He was like, yeah, I'm fine. You? I asked him where he was and he said he was chilling at home because he was at a lame movie earlier and left. What? He then asked if I wanted to hang out. I was like, yeah, I'm at the movie.

We're on the date. Oh, long story short, the guy had a brain injury and frequently forgot short-term memory things. He never told me about this beforehand. He felt terrible and I gave him another chance. second date he he didn't ghost me at least but nothing much happened after that oh wow that's a crazy story i'm like yeah i'm at the movie we're on the date oh that's great that's my favorite one that's a um 50 first dates uh yeah that's it's cute it's at least endearing that she was

going with it yeah i'm fine you All right, my date put in dip right before we went into a movie and then expected me to empty my purse to sneak in his spit bottle. I said no, so he bought a bottle of water and told me to chug the whole thing so he'd have something to spit in. Who does that? I don't like that. Yeah. I don't like that at all. On a first date, dude.

Priorities. First of all, substances in general on a first date. Not great. There'd have to be some, like, discussion. Yeah, not great, generally. Yeah. Would not prescribe it. Also, why doesn't he just chug the bottle?

He had a dip in. No. He should have been. No, no. Number 20. The date itself was fine, but when we went to say goodbye, he said, and I quote, up for a smoochie, my ick was off the charts. Like, what grown adult man says smoochie?

I said, maybe next time? And he said, Your loss. Ha ha. Just kidding. As I walked away, there was no second date. I don't know about on the first date,

but I would say something dumb like that, you know. Yeah. Yeah, but like, if it's like your first kiss, I feel like that's a little. Yeah, it's not a good story to tell. Like, first smoochie.

I also feel like when you get to the first kiss vibe, it's hard to navigate. It's hard, like you're both. nervous and freaking out and you want at least he was trying to ask i just got a little feeling of our first kid i know it's like nervous we did ours good thank babe i agree but like you know what i mean you're nervous and you're trying to figure out do you want to do i want like maybe he was nervous but it's not great last one we'll see one more this episode and then we can do a part two okay so stay tuned last one i picked a guy out for a date we were driving on the highway and he reached

over to kiss my cheek why i have no idea and i said ha ha that's nice please don't do that when i'm driving though and then he did it again and bit my earlobe i had something fall in the cup holder and tried not to think about it or i heard something fall in the cup holder and tried not to think about it then five minutes later i said i think i swallowed the back of your earring we didn't even get to the start of the date yet, so then I had to survive the date and drive him home after. Huh. That's an ick.

Don't touch me while I'm driving. For sure. Also, okay. Your lobe thing is way aggressive, I think. Don't you? Yeah. That's like... After being told, don't touch me. Yeah. this guy's that's a red flag yeah i would have dropped him off and been like i gotta go would you

have i'd have probably i feel like you do have to just kind of suffer i'm gonna get a a bad first date we're gonna finish the date and then i'll drop you off and then that'll be that yeah you'd cut it no back in the day i could see you doing that you're you're you're stone cold no i remember finding myself on a date that i didn't even know i was on and i had no business being on the date. Are you telling our first date story? No. I remember, I will never forget,

being asked to go to a basketball game by this guy, he's like, the whole team's going, do you want to go with us? That's literally what he said. And I was like, yeah, fun. Come to find out, he, like, picks me up, takes me to dinner.

And I was like, this feels weird. Why are we at dinner? I'm obviously not saying that and then he like takes me to the game and he's trying to hold my hand and I'm like literally figuring out

we're on a date. The team was not there by the way. It's just us. I was like no no no no no no no no no you told me that story I remember that I remember walking around with like my hands in my pockets or just like why? I didn't want to hold his hand

is that a thing? I was not interested in this guy at all do people hold hands on first date i don't he thought so he was trying to hold hands babe he was literally like holding my hand and i was like no no no no no no no no no no no and it was just us sitting in this basketball game and i was like where's a team where are the guys did you ask no no i i figured it out you know this is what sean does when she gets embarrassed or mad or really any emotion other than like happiness she just goes quiet yeah and short answers i had to do that thing on the date like sitting next to each other because again we're sitting next to each without the basketball game he's like keep trying

he keeps trying to hold my hand and stuff i'm like turning my whole body away from him hiding my hands and I'm like dude this is not I am not on a day with you I am not on a day with you and then again driving me back to where I was staying in my head I'm like oh my gosh what if he tries to kiss me I literally ran out of the car I was like bye that was in Dallas yeah I remember that touch etiquette is an interesting thing I'm not a big handholder I'm a big hugger but not on a first day I feel like there are as like a whole

ton of unwritten rules of like I'm not here's how I would do for a handhold if we're on a date probably not the first one we're in a movie say I would like

maybe like put my hand in a neutral zone like a 50-50 I'm gonna put some effort yeah and then feel it out right yeah then we do that and then it's like okay

now we can do that. I still don't think I'd walk around. We don't do that. Walk around holding hands. We do. I think I'd probably do a side hug on a first day. I'm just trying to rip through somebody's situation.

We do walk around holding hands a lot. We do? Yeah, we do. Okay. I'd do a side hug on the first date the first time I met him. If it went well, I'd do a full hug. Probably no kiss. No, you were not going to kiss me on the first date.

No. I was sold. I was like, okay, I'll kiss you on the first date. But then you were like, no, no, no. No, but it was more meaningful the fact that you waited. My worst case scenario is to think that I like want that above your company, you know?

Yeah. So that's why I would, my strategy generally with touch is like, hey, I'll put myself out there a little bit, but not enough to make you feel uncomfortable. Does that make sense? It's so respectful, yeah. And I give big bear hugs.

Not a lot of people are into that. So that would be a bad first impression. But all these guys who are, like, being told, please don't touch me. And then they, like, go again. No, absolutely not. If I say don't touch me, do not touch me. Yeah, I agree with that. Also, if you get told early on on a date, don't touch me, that's not a good time.

I hate to say that, but yeah, it's not a good time. There's also a time and a place for it. So, like, don't be making out in a movie theater is my thought. Yeah. that's not a great place for a first kiss probably usually either no but you can like go to a movie and then go have a second part of the date where you're you're just like lovingly looking each other in the eye having a conversation and then maybe it goes down that you know what I'm saying there's there's there's things you could do to set yourself up for success yeah get yourself

in the mood yeah I don't know a lot of those people are icks I hate to say that yeah and a lot wearing pad I'm trying to think of my worst first date did I tell you this tickle story yeah

go ahead and share it I wouldn't even a date either that's what's so crazy people want to you wanted a girl freshman year college I've like

she just wanted touch a lot of touch I've played football my whole life right and have not I don't

know done the girl thing so much they're just like football my whole life i show up in college and there's there's girls everywhere right and then everywhere all over you one of them wanted to hang and we always do group hangs with this girl and then she was like hey you want to come over and i thought it'd be a group hang and then i get there and it was just us and then she was like hey are you uh are you ticklish and I was like, yeah, she was like, me too. And then she grabbed my hand and just put it down her pants. Yeah. It's very aggressive.

And then I was like, that does feel aggressive. That's not a date, though. We didn't go on one after that, I'll tell you that much. I've been on a first date before with a musician who all we did was sit in his car. and he wanted to play me his music and asked me what he thought. And I was like... I'm been on one of those too.

I was like, huh. Okay. Okay. Wasn't even my kind of music. You'd have to be... No, there's no situation probably where that's a good idea. I've also been on first dates that were like super aggressive. Like, with like...

They were like creepy where people... a guy would ask a question that was very inappropriate just wanting I don't know just wanting all the sex stuff I remember you telling me about that yeah and I was like I

don't think we're going to hang out again yeah there's like this etiquette you don't want to make the other person feel uncomfortable anyway thank you for submitting those that was a real treat we're going to do a part two

and I don't know if it goes do you like the cringe stories like is that what we're going for yeah is the cringe it's like the harder to read and get through the better I think we have more cringe stories even to share yeah well keep submitting them thank you all we do have an instagram just for our podcast make sure you check that out and we'll see you next time I'm Andrew I'm shot peace