258 | Our Take on Marriage Clichés
00:00What's up, everybody?Welcome back to a couple things.With Sean and Andrew.Today we have cliches of marriage.We're going to be rolling through some marriage cliches,just kind of one-liners that people say.We're debunking or we're...We're just going to expand.
00:13Do we agree with them?Do we disagree?Do we have anything to add to them?But I want to talk about some life updates first.Okay.How are you?Oh, my?Yeah.
00:26I am good.Good.Full transparency.I'm struggling with the balance of work and momand wife. I told youthis last night.Iyeah, I don't know how to balance
00:40it right now.What I go through seasons like that.What I am realizing is that the balanceis ever changing. Ever changing.And the striving towards balancein that realm never ends.Yeah. So, depending on howthe kids are, how much
00:56they need in differentareas, we're always going tobe adjusting this and so there will be times I think in transitions of adjustments where it feelslike we're doing it wrong yeah I think that's just a signal that we need to make adjustments for sureSean and I really have not been away from the kids much no which is great we've had a lot of demandswhich is also great and we love having things to do that we feel like are meaningful one thingwe got to do recently was speak at the Houston Prayer Breakfast. Yeah. And it was her and I thatgave the keynote. Just under a thousand people were there. We got to meet the mayor of Houston.
01:39Got to meet some fellow astro athletes, baseball players down there. Wonderful group. And I reallyenjoyed being up there with you. One thing, I feel like I grew in my speaking abilities,just with understanding how to give a keynote presentation.I feel like we give Q&As really well where it's like if we have a moderator bouncing off of us, we can crush that.But it's the presentation where it's the 30 minutes of unbroken talking that really is intimidating to me.Having you up there is a blast.And we've kind of hit a nice little routine, I think.I had a lot of fun.
02:18It's almost like we've gotten so used to bouncing in interviews like this, that it felt easier than it has in thepast because it was kind of like just doing this again and pretty much what we did was create a scriptor one sheet yeah for our speech like we do with our episodes and um I'm pleased with it maybe we'llshare that at some point maybe not uh I will say going back full circle of the life updates and thebalance and I feel like our scales my scales like my scale is tipped a little bit the past couple weekshave been so busy.Yeah.More so than usual with travel and being away from the kids, which is abnormal for us.
03:05With, I went to New York.Ended up going to New York twice.It's felt like more, but think about this.We take a date night.Once a week, typically is what we will allocate for us not putting the kids down.Yeah.That to us is like sacred time, bedtime routine, tucking them in, tucking them in, doing the prayers, everything.The last two weeks, we've just taken our date night on Tuesday.
03:30For sure.And so that's been our one night away.So we really, it has felt like more because we've gotten on a plane.I know.But functionally, it's not actually been that different.No.It just feels like a lot right now, Andrew.I'm sorry.
03:45It's okay.And I'm sorry if I contribute to that.Not at all.I think it also had to do with, I really wanted to take the kids to the zoo today.I had it on the schedule.and it didn't work out, but it's totally fine.Well, Nashville is currently almost all underwater.True.
04:03We've had some wild storms, as has this whole region.Anyway, I love you.I love you.I do want to grab a water.Go grab a water.I am on the verge of a cold, so I kind of have knives in my throat.All right.I feel, I felt.
04:24that Tuesday by then.Oh, mine's lingering.We did.We will just continue to allude to this.We do have some really exciting newsthat we can't tell you about.But it will be happening in the next couple months.And we won't be able to tell you about it then either.
04:46You might learn about it in a year.But it is very exciting.Yeah, and it requires physical and mental training.Speaking of which, I did reach a fun milestone.I submitted my proposal for my research that I'm doing for my dissertation.That was a massive undertaking.126 pages, took about five months to find the topic, go through the hundreds of articles,peer-reviewed studies, and then kind of slowly mock that up.
05:17Hey, I want to go to dinner and celebrate that.That's huge.And I'm very, very proud of it.you we could do a family dinner how about that great it's uh anyway all right let's do comment of theday this one's from jessica london she said loved your recent episode so awesome you had thefreeman's on we love learning from them i love how real and honest y'all were about the realitiesof parenting little kids at different ages and personalities being business owners all whilestriving to model and create a healthy marriage we so relate to these and appreciate the little
05:46tips and reminders to check in each to check in each other love tanksorry all these comments no sometimes the comments it's like people are slinging it and we're justreading as it's written uh all right thank you jessica for that comment we did interview thefreemans that was a fun episode we have a lot of fun interviews coming up so stay soon but todaywe're talking about marriage cliches okay so marriage love is maybe the most often talked abouttopic in the world you know maybe it's been the most written about sung about pondered and so youlook at TVs, movies, etc. And I feel like it definitely does portray marriage and love in a certainlight. There's kind of like patterns or clichés that are that are consistent through these
06:37different media. And do you think this sets people up for unrealistic expectations for marriage whenthey meet someone the cliches or the stereotypes of marriage in movies and yeah yeah i think itsets you up for a massive failure how so because there's there's truth to clichés too there istruth to cliches but like i think the worst stereotype of marriage out there is that and it'swritten within all of like kids movies which i also think is such a beautiful thing thatthing that's written, but, like, the expectation can kind of be bad, which is that idea of, like,when you find the one, it should be easy.Like, it should be happily ever after.
07:31And what is never, like, explained is this idea that happily ever after, for sure, but, like, that takes work.I think what cliches miss.Let me make the parallel to texting someone versus communicating over phone call.I think when you apply the tone and the context to what's being said, it adds a lot of color.And so the cliches might be true, but I think more oftentimes they're misleading because people just think that, oh, I'm applying that to my current context now.I'm applying happily ever after my idea of happiness.I'm applying that saying to how I interpret happiness now.And I think it's really like there's a context switch, especially with that one.
08:24Like happy doesn't mean free or I get to pursue whatever I want.Or it's like, no, there's a responsibility.There's a investment.There's a sacrifice.You know what I'm saying?Yeah.So applying the phrase to the person makes a big difference.I just think marriage gets a bad rap.
08:48Interesting.I agree.It does not get enough credit.It deserves more credit than it gets.It is a profound, transformative experience.I also think it's funny because, like,our society and our world values friendship.The amount of people who are, like,
09:04best friends are the most important part of life, whatever,it's a partner.It's a spouse.Like, if you're totally fine,having a best friend that you would kill for and you want to be by your side for the rest of your life.Like, it's the same concept.I think better.Culture also admires love, but I think marriage, it gets a little hung up on because there is a little bit of a discomfort associated with it.
09:33Anyway, shall we roll through these?Yes.We could expand on these.So we're going to read through each of these cliches.Maybe there's 20 or so.We're going to talk about them.say if we agree, disagree, et cetera.First one, happy wife, happy life, or happy spouse, happy house.
09:50Do I agree with this?Yeah, I think I do.I think that I do, however, happy wife, happy life is usually said sarcasticallywhere it's like, do anything in your power to keep your wife happy,and that keeps a happy household.and it's alluding to this ideathat like an angry wifedisrupts everything
10:17so don't don't disrupt the beastyeah and that's not fairhappy spouse happy houseyesI think we talkedwe talked about this at ourhappiness podcastwhich is like it should be your mission
10:34to wake up and serve your spouseyeah we did a wholecontested episode on happinessand marriage. I agree with you. I really like your take on this. I thinkif the happiness comes from like the depthsand not just surface level, then for sure that's true. I also think itreflects like happy wife in my mind. I'm like, okay, you guys arefunctioning as a team. Maybe if you're
11:05respectful and taking care of what needs to be done and takingownership and also communicating really effectively, then that's what leads to a happy life.And if you do all of those things, the derivative effects include, but are not limited to,a happy wife and a happy life.Yes.Like your house is an order.Yes.But I don't think it should be the mockery version where people are like, don't even say your
11:30opinion.It's not even worth it because if you upset someone, like that is trash.Another one that's not on here actually that I feel like is also said with sarcasm.most of these could be said with sarcasm but like the old ball and chain yeah and it's likethat's usually said derogatorily obviously i actually think i'm not going to like advocate for a positivespin to that because being handcuffed to anything is just a tough metaphor to make so there's probablybetter ones but like yeah i shouldn't be if andrew got to do whatever andrew got to do man that would notbe good yeah would not be good it would not be good for a marriage would definitely not be good for marriage
12:07and in the long runit would definitelynot be good to meso like havingyou balance that outagain the handcuff is notthe right thingbut let me make sure
12:16we're recording real quickokay so far I'm liking this episodesamewow I love talking with youI love younextnever go to bed angryfalse
12:26I feel like we bothused to agree to thisbut nowI think we both disagreewith thisI would saynever go to bed angryunless
12:40staying awakeis what makes you angryyou know what I'm sayingI just think in the context of our lives nowwith three kidsa full-time jobmost of our argumentshappen because we're hungry and tired
12:56and likewe're justneeding to cuddle and bequietand somost of the timeit's like let's go to bed and if we wake up and it's still there let's talk about it yeah i agreelast night no kidding it was 8 10 p.m and sean turned to me she said it's time to go to bed
13:23which usually i'm the one that that gets tired before you but last night we were both so we hada couple nights ago shana food poisoning so that kept her up and then the night i legit told andI was like, I think we have to go to the hospital.Yeah, we almost did.I was scared.We never really fully debriefed that.Because it went away and you're fine now.I thought you were having like an appendicitis.
13:47I did too.Then the day after that, we had a bright and early morning workout.We did a 5 a.m. morning workout together, which honestly, that is a milestone event for us, Sean.We did well.Sean didn't say a peep the whole hour.I think it helped that there was a trainer there.Yeah.Then the day after that was a tornado.
14:07Like 37 of them.We found, yeah, well, legitimately, I think six.Just in our neighborhood.We found ourselves waking the kids up at 2.45, going to the pantry, and then obviouslywe're up for a while through that.So we're operating off of not a lot of sleep this week.So going to bed last night is what we needed.Yes.
14:27Yeah, so I would say we tend to disagree with the never go to bed angry because we have realizedthat being tired is the root of many of.of our argument.Yes.Because also when you get tired,I'm learning.Like, evil creeps in so much easier.Irrational thoughts.
14:49Impulsive thoughts.It's hard to hold your tongue, too.I do agree with the idea that time confessor wounds.For sure.It should be addressed.Absolutely.All right, next.Fool me once.
15:02Shame on you.Ful me twice.Shame on me.I've never understood this.fool me once shame on you so it's like oh hey you tricked me that wasn't very nice but if you do thatagain then it's my fault i know but like in the context of what like if we're talking aboutmanipulation no that's good so let's just not have any of that and that's not good in a marriagebut in the context of a marriage fool me once shame on you of me twice i'm like what i highly
15:33disagree with this i think marriage is the so beautiful becauseit's the one place that you can I think as long as it's unintentional make mistakes many timesfor sure and still be loved you're right yeah so because the way this has said fool me twiceshame on me it just sucks the goodwill out of the marriage like the charitable aspect of like heyI'm going to be with you through thick and thin and this is not about who can outwit or outtrick the other person that I think that's kind of where I was going is like the manipulative likeif we're if we're talking about manipulation then like that's not good at all yeah so it'sand that's a blame game that's like that's your fault that's my fault that's then then you're
16:22separating a marriage whereas like yeah any mistake you have to have complete ownership over butis a team's fault i would adjust it by saying fool me once shame on us fool me twice shameon us.Yeah.Someone's also said it's not my fault, but it is our problem, anything.Like, we collectively share the thing.That's what I mean.Like, if someone makes a mistake, they should be man or woman enough to say, like, you
16:51know, complete ownership.That's my fault.But it is a team problem.It's a team fault.So, yeah.Jesus would say, will me 70 times seven times.And I'd still forgive you.For sure.
17:05next love means never having to say you are sorry false b s false okay I'mprofanity out of the girl yeah um love means I'll always love you but love is alsohaving like enough awareness to apologize because you love your spouse I would say lovemeans being able to say you're sorry a ton a million times and still be there after it's all saidand done love is knowing you don't need to say sorry to be loved but like love means from my sidei love you enough to say sorry like right i don't know and i will probably say sorry the most to the personi love next distance makes the heart grow fonderbut it sucks.
18:07Say more.Like the second I leave you, I'm like,Brick, I just want to go back.Yeah.Like, I agree.I think separationmakes youlike have more reflection
18:26on how good you got it.You don't know what you got till it's gonekind of thing.Yeah.Yeah.I agree with this one.Yeah.Next.
18:38Just kissing makeup.I think it's kind of like don't go to bed angry.Sometimes you need physical touch.A little makeup.You know what I'm saying?You know what I'm saying?You know what I'm saying?I will never forget when we were having an argument.
18:56I think we said the Santa podcast before.On the Santa Monica Pier, there's a homeless guy walking by,and I think he caught way into the tension.And he said to us,nothing's that bad.Or like, it was like,nothing's that big of a deal.Just love each other.
19:14Yeah.And we say that to our kids all the timewith any mistake or any oops.It's like, how big is,how big of a deal is it?Like, the tiniest.I think that was rightwhen we were struggling through the miscarriage.
19:26It was.I remember that well myself.Okay.So that's a sometimes, just kiss and makeup?I think, no, I would agree with it.I think it's like, don't harbor anything.Just talk about it, kiss and makeup.I do think one thing we have the kids do,
19:50and I learned from my football coach, James Franklin,while we were at Vanderbilt,was anytime there's like a fight between players,he would have them at the end of practicehug in front of the whole team until...Both people smiled.Because it's just so awkward and, like, you don't want to do it.And there is something about the physical touch barrier where you're like, okay, it's going to be okay.
20:14And it just kind of disarms you in a certain way.So we have a kid to do that.Next, the couple that plays together stays together.Yes.I agree.I think it's one of the ways a couple stays together.Sean and I value playfulness.Very much so.
20:30Yeah.You have to be able to have fun.yeah uh that does not mean play in the competitive sense i think we don't do well there but it's liketickling wrestling being silly just goofing off being a kid it kind of it's like an added layerof reality i think when you're able to be comedic with something or be playful it's like youhave a mastery over the situation or you've been there enough that you have john and i talk aboutthis concept of white space which is like a militaryconcept of you're not just in the moment reacting, you have the ability to step back and
21:08like make quality decisions that you want to make. And I think playfulness is an indicatorof that. Yes. So that's just generally a good way to live life. And if you're just reacting,not going to bode well for a relationship. Next, love doesn't ever keep score.Correct. It shouldn't.I think I agree with it, but it does keep scars.It keeps scars, but scars heal.Yeah.In the sense of like, they're always there, but they can be covered up.
21:55Yeah, it's interesting.I mean, like, you should not be keeping a record of rights and wrongs.No.and you for surelike we Sean and I haveseveral timesgotten to the point like with choresaround the house with all the kid stuff
22:11there is to do it's likewell I did X Y and Zand then it's like well I did X Y and Zand then it's likeyou know it's an endless pointless exerciseat the end of the daythat ultimately just gets both of us fired upfor no reason
22:25yes and it wouldit's a much better playthat is one way to play the gameI think it's the worst way to play the gameI think a better way is likewhat else can I do?Yes.Okay, how else can I help you?
22:39That's when we're at our best.It deals with seasons too.You're going to go through seasons of lifeand marriage whereyou have to give a lot morethan your spouse and vice versabased off of circumstances.And if you're keeping record of that,
22:58you're not honoring the support that your spouse needs or you need in different times of life.And it's like if we're going through a season where I need a lot more support and a lot more help than I'm able to give, Andrew,if he's like, oh, I'm only going to help you and support you if I know that down the road, I'm going to go, like, that doesn't work.I do think, though, from a you to me, I should not keep school.But from a me to you, I should be aware and reflective on, like, it's an extreme ownershipkind of thing.You know what I'm saying?Where it's like, hey, I'm actually not doing enough.
23:39This is what we got so tripped up on in a happiness podcast.I know, I know.That whole conversation would have been way different.It's because it has nothing to do with you to me.Yeah.And has everything to do with me to you.And that might not make sense to listeners.But like my perspective and what you're saying is like, I should be reflectively of where
23:57of how hard I'm trying for you on a daily basis.And I shouldn't let...If that starts to dip, I need to be aware of thatand I need to be like, you know what?Snap out of it.Get back on the selfless service train.Yeah.And when both parties are doing that for each other,
24:14it works.Right.It's almost like the, you know,in the concept of faith,don't abuse grace.Where it's like,I should be aware that I can hurt youand there could be...
24:27it's like don't take advantage of the fact that there's no scoreboard yes and be a sandbaggeras a result yes but going back to happiness podcast we're going to have to let them listen to thatget ready buckle up um it's good I was contentious I thought Sean was going to punch me in thethroat um if you go from things go wrong when you go from thinking about your spouse to thinkingabout yourself what can you do for me like 100% like I'm not happy he's not doing enough for mehe's not doing enough like when it's me centered it doesn't work gosh but that is like that's a secretto life in so many ways when you're able to and then and I'm not saying not ever prioritize yourselfbut like you that cannot be your main focus right in a marriage I think of generosity with finances too
25:23like you really do reap so much benefit when you give that's not why you do it but it does comewith it and once you understand that the idea of sacrifice and that that benefits everybodyincluding yourself it's really good yeah that was a good one okay next the answer to all of yourmarriage problems is yes dear crash don't ever say that I don't know I kind of like this one hereHere's why.I don't think you should just be a yes man.No.Go along with everything.
25:57But having an improv type approach to marriage and life is kind of good.It goes back to the playfulness thing.Like if I say, oh, yes, dear, I don't know.No, it's pandering.Like, no marriage works when you feel like you don't have the space or ability to actually.share your opinions and that this is i think you and i are interpreting this different but the wholeyes dear thing to me is that concept that i was told when we got engaged by friends who were like oh i'venever had an argument with my husband or you know marriage is just easy because you're just like
26:40oh yes if you don't have that space to actually like be free to say like actually no i don'tagree with that or I don't then it becomes like a false image of like who you are yeah we areinterpreting this differently I totally get that I think I'm interpreting it more as yeah surface levelI disagree with this but if I read it as the answer to all your problems is speak pleasantlyto each other well yeah then yesbut that stillcould include conflict and disagreementsand that's what I'm saying
27:26like improv comedians do theskit where it's like we're up on stageand then you say something and I say yes andblah blah blah blah blah blah and then it's like you kind ofplay off of each other that to me ismaybe it doesn't applymaybe I don't knowokay next forgive and forget
27:47or life is yours to missI agreeYeahForgive and forgetOr life is yours to missI'm not sure I've ever heard this oneNever heard thatBut yeah
27:58If you harbor thingsI meanYou're gonna make mistakesYou're gonna hurt your spouseWhich sounds awful to say like outwardlyBut likeYou're gonna probably say somethingTo hurt their feelings
28:13You're gonna do something to offend themYou're going to make mistakesIn a marriageYou're gonna likeand you either have a choice to never let go of that and it destroy your marriageor it'd be like, you know what, I still love you, forgive you, let's move on.I think as I get older, I also think this is really powerful when applied to myself,like forgive myself and say, okay, hey, I can't get caught up on this.
28:40I can't ruminate on this.I have to keep moving forward.There's this old rocky quote that I used to listen to before every football game.It's like, it ain't about hard hard.hit it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward it's like you got to stay in motionyeah and i mean don't give up on the relationship don't give up on yourself keep going yeahbut that's pretty much what our whole 16 weeks of counseling was was about forgiveness and we hadthese prayers that we were to say and it's like really you know people say the person who suffers
29:14most when someone is wrong is a person who doesn't forgiveI think that's trueThe 16th week course is really empoweringin this idea of likeif you can learnhow to dothe true act of forgivenessnothing can touch you
29:31in the sense of likeit's only what you allow to harborthat hurts you.Yeah.Right.I agree with that.Okay, next one.Quitters never win
29:45and winners never quit.I think I'm mostly agree with this.Yeah.When applied to marriage, it's like,there is this aspect of like, yeah, keep moving forward.You gotta keep.It's also the whole idea of like commitment,and you and I've talked about this before,
30:05is like last man standing is usually the one who's going to get it.But you're saying last couple standing.In the sense of like,you just got to keep showing up.I agree.How do you build a lifelong marriage one day at a time?Show up.Yeah.
30:23And then there's this acknowledgement that there are seasons.Don't quit because you're in a tough one.Obviously, there's fringe cases, et cetera.But I think I agree with that.Yeah.Maybe that should be the title of our book.No.All right.
30:39Next, marriage is 50-50.Mm.yes and noI'm thinking about thelove doesn't keep scoreyes and nohere's my thoughtmarriage should include
31:03two active partieswho arewilling to serve each otherbutMondayit could look likelike 99-1.Tuesday, it could look like
31:22reverse.I think at the end of the dayif we're averaging out the 50-50,it's good.Oh, interesting.It's almost like blackjack statistics.You play enough hands, it'll be 54, 46 or whatever.Because if I wake up and I'm having
31:40an absolute horrible day,you're probably going to give a lot more than me.And if you wake up and you are having a horrible day,I'm probably going to give a lot more than you.But it's knowing that at the end of the day,we're both willing to give what the other is.I like that.Maybe a better analogy is that if you flip a coin five times,
32:07it might be heads every time.Yeah.But the next time.At some point.And over a thousand flips, it'll be about 50-50.I think, I've heard it said marriage is one.100 100. I would say that I think my perspective is marriage inputs should be 100, 100.So each party is giving their all. But that 100 to Sean's point from one party could be different from the 100 to another.
32:31So the marriage output might be 90, 10, depending on the season. It might be 50-50. It might be 40-60.Yes.Interesting.Next, if you love someone, you'll never fight.if you love someone you're willing to fight and fight through it yeah yeah i think i disagree withthis i do think my concept of fighting has drastically changed it's not a power struggle it's moreof a hey let's understand each other's perspectives and how can i respect you yeah i i thinkit is a toxic belief for people who are not married or
33:14like early married to think a good marriage would not include fighting.I agree.I agree.Next, the first two years of marriage are the hardest.Yeah.I think we talk about this with parenting.The biggest, hardest thing we did when we had any of our kids was that first child,the identity shift.
33:40Yeah.And I think the same applies to the first two years of.marriage it is a it is a difficult process in the sense that you're you're changing identities yeahyou know you're like the transition transition years are hard and you're growing in the understandingof what marriage entails to like our year our first year married was the hardest our first year with ourfirst year with our second kid our first year with our third like it's it's transition years it's likeThose are hard because you're changing so much of your everyday life.Yeah.
34:17Yeah.Welcome back to a couple things.We're diving into another round of camera roll confessionals.This segment is brought to you by our friends at Fracture Glass Prints because of the thousands of photos in our phones.Literally thousands.The moments that matter deserve way more than life in your camera roll.Fracture prints your favorite memories directly onto glass.They look sleek, modern, and honestly magical on your walls.
34:40They are super easy to hang and make your space feel instantly personal.Plus, they're sustainably made right here in the U.S.So if you love it, fracture it.And this time, we're getting all on our feelings because it's the Mother's Day edition.I'm not going to cry.I'm not going to cry.We'll see about that.But we're going to be scrolling into our camera rolls and answering a few Mother's Day-themed questions.
35:01Photos that remind us of what motherhood really looks like.Not the post stuff.I'm talking about the real stuff.Okay, you ready for round one?Yes, let's do it.The chaos shot.Let's kick it off with a photo.that really shows being a mom really looks like the chaos the madness the realness okay i got one i got one
35:15here we go this one uh was taken last summer you remember that oh my gosh so this was when we were inparis we're in a foreign country sean was just hustling from show to show interview to interviewduring the olympics the kids were running wild having a blast we were destroying this this Airbnbwe got it back in order but that was chaos right there mine different take on chaosLiterally last weekend.That was last weekend, yes.Trying to get a picture with a jet.Just wanting a picture with my son.
35:48And he was just not having it.Wasn't going to happen.Yeah.That's right.All right.Round number two, pivot time.What's your favorite photo of your mom?This.
35:59Grandparents' day at their school.My mom is just in her prime.That was a couple weeks ago.I know.That was a good one.I have one here.This is my mom and dad at Purdue.college sweethearts and they're doing a little fitness challenge i feel like like we do these days so that's
36:15fun okay round three a photo that made you feel like i'm really a mom okay okay i feel like i know whatyours is going to be okay um but for me personally sean this photo makes me feel like a mominteresting interpretation because drew loves her mom and in this photo she was really cuddly with mefor once um this is mine seeing all of our babies cuddled together watching tv i wasI was like, wow.Dude, we have three kids.We have three kids.How about that?
36:45All right, round four.We're talking about the heart melter.Show me the photo that melts your heart every time you see it.Easy.Another Paris photo.Dang, she's beautiful.Drew fell in love with chocolate croissants.And it's just the joy on her face, the piece that she had, eating her little chocolate
37:03croissant.We had walked from our apartment down to the cafe.He was loving it.So she's beautiful.This is mine.was taken a couple weeks ago.So the kids at Disney and just the expressions on their facelike really makes me want to cry.
37:17I almost cried about this this morning.Just looking at Drew.And watching Jet hug goofy and like never let go.It was the sweetest.That's the good stuff right there.All right.Round number five.Since this segment is brought to you by fracture,
37:30we got to pick out some prints for our moms.And they turned out so beautifully.This right here is my mom's favorite family photowith her and all of her grandkids on the beach.And I know she's going to lose her mind over this.This really is so beautiful.It's so bright and crisp with the colors.Okay.
37:49And then mine is the picture that I said of my mom,Grandparents Day, which is so sweet.Look at the green in that glass.I know.Incredible.So these prints, I feel like, are grandma gold,but we didn't just print for our moms.I also have one last surprise for you, babe,
38:05before we wrap this up.And it's Mother's Day.This is one of my favorite photos of you guys.And I want to just get this printed out on glass for you.I love that picture.I do too.There you go.That was a beautiful day.
38:20We went to the Eiffel Tower that day.You and Bear were vibing that day.Bear Bear, Bear.That was a lot of fun.Good memories right there.I'm definitely going to be gifting our moms with some photos too.I think we should.There's so many moments that live just quietly in our phones, I feel like, and they're
38:34honestly the best, most real moments that I want printed on glass.So if you're listening and there's a mom and you,your life or you are the mom go find some of those photos and maybe print one or three on glassbecause they deserve to be bigger than your phone screen that's right and they deserve to be seenjust like moms and right now fracture is giving our listeners 30% off until mother's day head tofracture me.com and use code couple 30 at checkout that's fracture me.com and give your photos the lovethey deserve let us know if there are any other chaotic unexpected photosyou'd like to see us dig through our camera rolls for.
39:13Tag us because we want to hear from me.Back to the show.But I would also just say,I've come to understand that there's never a coasting setting.It's never like, oh, hey, this is all sunshine and rainbows.It's more of an understanding that you're always going to be pushing the stone up the hill.And that's okay.That's good.
39:29And all of those, like, statistics that are like the seventh year's itch and the wood.Those, I think, are, what's the concept of, like, if you believe it at, well,actually happen self-fulfilling prophecies yes i think all those statistics are dangerous to read becauseyou'll be like oh we're in the seventh year we're actually we've been in arguments a lotoh this has been like what if we don't get like no yeah the statistics are trash don't read thoseum yeah okay next ask not what is my spouse doing for me but what can i do for my spouse yes i agreeThousand percent.That was a quote from a present.
40:14It's a play on a quote from present.That's not what my country can do for me,but what I can do for my country.Yeah.Yeah, it's a game of selflessness, the best one to play.Next, nothing worth having comes easy.Yeah.I agree.
40:34I highly agree.You don't value it as much.I think,Nothing worth having.There's no shortcuts.You're not going to, you know, you don't get rich in a day.All of these things imply doing something over a long period of time.Yeah.
40:52It implies a duration.It brings more value and more meaning and more purpose, the more effort that's put in.Yeah.And I think anytime there's a long duration applied to something, there will be difficulties.Mm-hmm.Even like sitting down to watch a long duration of Netflix.your body will be discomfortit applies everywhere
41:14I like to that analogy boomI'm just slinging them out thereI'm just trying I'm just tryingabout I like itokay next variety is a spice of lifedoesn't have to beyeah I agreeactually there's so much beauty
41:34in the mundanerightand monotonyand yeah no I disagree with that this is kind of this is kind of what our book's about there is a lot of excitementin sampling the the breadth of something but I think once you're able to appreciate the excitementof the depth of something yeah and see the variety that comes with knowledge of knowing somethingdeeply yeah that's a good spot to be I think varieties of spice life is actually a dangerousdisbelief because whenever you start losing variety and change and you know adventure impulsivity
42:15then you're like oh it's not fun anymore i'm bored yeah yeah go deep baby go deep next i'll scratchyour back if you scratch mine no false we've kind of talked about this one if you're living a life oflike i'll do this only if you give it back no that's not going to work next it's not about beingthis about being kind.Hmm.I mean, yeah, yeah?Yeah.I think this is the one I'm struggle with being black or white,
42:55like four against most,because I think both should be true.You should be advocating for your perspectivewhile also being kind.For sure, but also should...I agree, like, it doesn't always matter to be right.Right.And yes, I do think you should always be kind.
43:16Yeah.So yeah, I don't know.But you shouldn't just be a doormatthat doesn't share your opinion.No. I agree with that.So I guess what do you mean by right?Would be my question there.Okay, four more.
43:27Teamwork makes the dream work.Yes.100% agree.We say it all the time.We are a team.that's how we paint our family toothat's what we tell our kids like yothis is what our team does
43:39I know that team does something differentthat's okay this is what our team doesyeahnext the only three wordsyou need in marriage are please thanks and sorryno you need moreI love youI appreciate you
43:56is that just because your love languageis affirmation words of affirmationregardless, I disagree with this.Yeah, no, it's not that.No.What I've grown to appreciate is that in marriage,you should want to share everything.So you should, like, in my mind, I could,
44:22I would be happy, like,my natural tendency is not sharing anything.Really?So I am pushing towards saying way more words.then just please thanks and sorrythank youI'm curious what you all would say about this oneas well as the others but that one
44:40because I like I see the heart of itthe corebut I don't think I agree with itI don't think it's like the keyrightall right next onewhen the going gets tough the tough get goingI'm like a cheesy motivational guy
44:56so yeah I like thisyes I think it just impliescommitment like it's the quitters never win and winners never quit it's just like a it'stough you got to keep moving growth is on the other side of difficulty and you got to keep tryingthe mountain top is through the valley yes next last it's not about finding the perfect person it'sabout finding the perfect person for you I disagree with the whole thing top the bottom yeah yeahDangerous belief.I don't think perfection exists.
45:38I don't think the one exists.I think you make an active choice.You fall in love.And you should not be trying,you should not be setting your expectationor your standard at perfect.Well, perfect for you means this person loves melike I want them to love me.
46:00Yeah.Which is not really whatthe thing is it's like they're not going to love yourself like you love yourself you're you'retaking care of that yeah the whole thing of the teamwork is you you go about this a different way andit's a it's probably a good thing both of us collaborating on loving each other taking care of ourmarriage like if i'm viewing that as like a third entity yeah you me and the marriage we got to takecare of this thing we're not going to love the marriage like i want to love the marriageIt's going to be collective.
46:34Am I saying that right?I think so.I just think the word perfect is dangerous.It's a slippery slope.I'm just looking for the perfect person for me.Because we have friends who are getting really caught up with this.Because in their mind, they have an image of a perfect person for them.But they're missing out, I think, on a lot of opportunity because they're not allowing imperfection.
47:02my takeaway would just be it's not about you yeah you know it's not about you yeah i'll work on sayingthat better but i feel that that's how i feel anyway it's how you feel it's not about no it'snot about me is what i mean to say that's how you feel it's not about did you share a feeling uh this wasfun okay let us know any other marriage cliches that we missed let us know what youyou think about some of these, did any strike you as ultra true or ultra untrue? Let us know.And if you made it this far, please subscribe to the show. We have more episodes coming. This is oursixth year of this podcast, and it has been a wild ride. It has. Thank you to all you who have been apart of this for the last five and a half years. And we're looking forward to more. So that's all we
47:55have for this one. I'm Andrew. And I'm Sean. Catch you next time.
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