Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew - 27 Cedric + Charlotte Thompson

Episode Date: July 8, 2020

Today in episode 27 of couple things with Shawn and Andrew, we chat with some friends of ours, Cedric and Charlotte Thompson. Cedric was drafted by the Miami Dolphins and played in the NFL for a few years, but decided to retire to focus on his family and pursue his passion of making Youtube videos. These two open up with us and discuss how they dealt with infidelity in their relationship, living together before marriage, and the NFL lifestyle. We loved hearing about their beautiful family and what they’re up to today. We think you’ll want to tune in to this one. Without further ado, Cedric and Charlotte Thompson.  If you want to follow Cedric and Charlotte, you can find them on instagram as @ced and @ca.pt. Also, be sure to check out their Youtube, CEDbyme, for some really great content. We’re big fans!  If you haven't yet, please rate and subscribe to the show to hear more! And if you have suggestions/recommendations for the show, send us your ideas in a video format - we might just choose yours! Email us at [e-mail].  We are supported by the following AMAZING companies! Make sure to check them out using our link below!  Skillshare! Explore your creativity and get 2 free months of Premium Membership at https://Skillshare.com/COUPLE.  Liquid I.V.! Liquid I.V. is available nationwide at Costco and Target, or you can get 25% off when you go to https://LIQUIDIV.com and use code EASTFAM at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up, everybody. Welcome back to Couple Things with Sean and Andrew. A podcast all about couples and the things they go through. Today we sit down with Cedric and Charlotte Thompson. And these two have been really nice to us, really good friends to us in our life. Cedric was an NFL player for a couple years. He was drafted to the dolphins, I believe, then bounced around to a couple of different teams, including the Patriots. And when I was released by the Jaguars is when Cedric and I first connected. We were both kind of the only two in a couple.

NFL players who documented our journeys, bouncing from team to team, getting cut, getting picked up. Cedric does a way more cinema. He does way better cinematography than I do. Let's just say different. Different. Okay, we'll say different. Our styles are different. But he reached out to me when I got released by the Jaguars and was super encouraging to me.

And that kind of started this relationship where I actually was able to go up to Minneapolis and visit Cedric and Charlotte and meet their little girl, Madeline. They have since had a second child, Luca. Yes. And we're big fans of the Thompsons. We cover a lot of topics today. We talk about a lot. We talk about kind of roller coasters and challenges within relationships. One of the ones that they had to go through when they were dating was infidelity, which we talk a lot about.

They talk about the instability of work and how that affects a relationship. We know all about that. Yes, both financially and within like where your home is. There's something really crazy about the NFL in a lot of careers where you bounce around. all over the country, all over the world, and you don't have that stability within your house. So we talk about a lot of different things, how they've gone through it

and how they've ultimately become stronger through all of it. I think it's a journey we really related to and something we really enjoyed talking about. Yeah, we are big fans of Cedric and Charlotte and the whole Thompson clan. They put out a lot of content themselves and we'll link all of their stuff in the show notes down below. But they have a YouTube channel called As Said by Me.

They have a podcast called Said by Charlotte. They have wonderful Instagram pages. Check it out. You won't be disappointed. But before we get started, make sure you give the show a subscription and rating on whatever platform we're listening to. And let us know what you think about about this episode.

We're excited to get your feedback. We always love hearing from you. So let us know. And let's go ahead and jump into this one with Cedric and Charlotte. Cedric, Charlotte. Thank you for joining us today. it's good to see your faces thanks for having us I appreciate it for having us bro

nice to finally formally meet Sean I was saying I feel like I know everything about you guys through Andrew and social media and I've never met you so it's great to finally meet you so let me give a little backstory to how to how I became aware of you guys as a family my brother actually sent me a link to one of your videos of you documenting you getting cut or retiring. I forget exactly what it was. But it was during a time where I was going through the exact same thing, kind of documenting my NFL journey.

He was like, hey, this guy's doing something super similar to you. You should reach out to him. So I reached out to you. And you ended up like, bro, at one of my toughest moments in life,

providing some epic encouragement, right after I got released from the Jaguars, you sent me like this, holy smokes. It was, it was transcendent. But I appreciate that. And so it's been fun to kind of,

keep in touch since then i guess it's probably been like two or three years but a lot's happened and you guys have you guys have been through a lot including having a couple kids uh which the most beautiful two baby girls oh my gosh thank you they're gorgeous but i would love if so is true oh thank you could you guys talk about your relationship kind of generally give a little background said talk about your NFL career and then maybe how long you guys been married We live in Minneapolis, Minnesota. I'm originally from Los Angeles, California, and I came up here on a full-right scholarship

to the University of Minnesota. And then my first- He didn't know where Minnesota was. And the crazy thing is, I had no idea where Minnesota was at. I was like, okay, whatever, I'll just go there because I was, nobody in my family went to college. So I was like, okay, wherever I can go to college, I just want to do it because nobody's ever done it.

Then I came to Minnesota, and then I came to Minnesota, and then I saw the first thing they did was taking me to the Mall of America and I was like okay I want to go here or like seeing the school so then I went to the school did my whole freshman year and then at the end of my not the end of my freshman year but the end of like football season I run into her at a party yeah we're at one of his teammates apartments and I was getting over like a high school relationship and one of my best friends was like okay I'm going to get you over the hump of like this last relationship. You're not looking for anything serious. Cedric was definitely not looking for anything serious. She's like, we're just going to play a game.

You just pick somebody in the room and we're going to go up to them and I'm going to say, hey, have you met my friend Charlotte? And that's it. You just talk to them and like something super light, nothing serious. So she's like, who do you want to talk to? And I look around the room. It was kind of dark, but I was like him. And we walk over and she's like, hey have you met my friend Charlotte and he's like no and at this point I was like super quiet I did not talk I was just like okay like I didn't talk to anybody uh and when she came up to me I was just like no who are you terrible conversation we were just sitting there and we ended up talking and that was eight and a half years ago dang funny did you guys like hit it off that night

Did it become a relationship immediately? The Siri is on. Hold on. Sorry. I'll get. The Siri is on. The Siri cut on. And so you guys cut out.

Oh, funny. Who said, are you serious? Don't say serious, said. I was kidding. No, that's what triggered it. Okay, here we go. At least we know that Apple's listening in at all times. Yes.

No, I was curious. Did that, did it like, did you guys hit it off right then? Did you start dating immediately? Or was it just this random thing that kind of played out? Well, for me, it was like we didn't start dating like right away, but I knew. Let me tell you what happened, Sean. Let me tell you. No, I'm going to tell my side.

Because every time, every time we do this, it's always like this debate. And like, oh, and that she always goes. first. I'm going to go first this time. I love you. So what happened was I met her the first night and yeah, we like hung out and like she invited me over to her place to hang out the night we met and I'm going to be fully transparent here. We didn't do anything.

And I think at that point and then at that point in my relationship and my singleness, I was kind of doing whatever I wanted. I was like talking to girls and doing whatever. and then when I met Charlotte the night we hung out we didn't do anything and that like kind of struck me I was like oh dang like that's crazy and then we were just talking and we stood up to like three four in the morning just talking about each other's lives and like I'm like nobody ever asks me questions about my life that's weird you know what I'm saying and then we just stayed up talking and I'll never forget that night I mean well the morning that I left I was like I like really like this girl and I like

knew her for like seven hours okay but it didn't then it didn't happen overnight of us just jumping into dating um we were hanging out like all the time for seven or eight months and cedric was a freshman and he was like he said he was just talking to girls and having fun and i was like okay here's the deal like you either need to get with it or get lost and we're either going to get serious and you're going to be my boyfriend or we're not going to talk anymore i'm like so you need to ask me to be your girlfriend oh he asked me on the spot i was like i wanted you I wanted you to, like, think about it. Don't just ask.

But he asked me, and I said yes. And so that was, like, eight or so months into hanging out with each other. You asked immediately after she said that. You said, will you be my girlfriend? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, because we were just laying down. And, like, it was like late.

I had, like, practice next day. And she was like, you got to ask me to be your girlfriend. I was like, okay, you want to be my girlfriend? Right. Oh, that is easy. I really as a girl. No, you can't just tell me. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly what happened. You're like, no, I wanted you to go home. I wanted you come back. Bring me flowers. Think about it. Yes.

Yeah. And now when I asked her, she's like, no, like, you should think about it. No, I'm sure. Like, you want to be my girlfriend. Like, let's just do this now. Well, that's cute. He knew. Okay.

So you start dating about eight months after you guys met. How long? into dating before you knew, like, I could spend the rest of my life with this person. Well, for me, like, the beginning of our relationship was really tough because when I met Charlotte, I was kind of, like, really in the mix of, like, doing whatever I wanted being single. And I, truthfully, and honestly, I wasn't, like, really ready to let that go at that time in my young life.

A lot of people aren't. And so I was, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I was still kind of doing what I want. wanted when I was with Charlotte in the beginning. So like that kind of put like a Rocky start in our relationship. And you know like playing football and stuff. Like it just came with that's part of the whole deal.

No, Cedric, I was a long snapper. So I don't know. I don't know what you're talking about. I have no clue. Okay. Okay. So I'll speak for the DVs then. So I was still in the beginning I was still kind of doing like what I wanted.

And then do my air buggy for her. And, um, yeah so the first like couple years it was like kind of me like well not I wasn't doing that the whole like couple of years but it was me kind of break all these old habits of being single really all my life and doing whatever I wanted it's like being with somebody who I really loved and cared about but these old habits I couldn't break you know what I'm saying because it was just what it was ingrained in me for so long so but to answer your question I knew like selfishly I knew pretty quick like within like the eight months but I just think my old ways I couldn't it took me

a while to break them yeah and I would say I knew early we moved really fast um literally started dating like we moved in together a year into dating in college so I knew but we weren't doing things like the right way yeah um and so it took like our relationship going and like just shattering for us to like really get it together and rebuild yeah much stronger um so that happened about what three or four years into our dating relationship this was going into the NFL so like we did all a we did all of college um and then like it drafted into the NFL and then when being drafted Charlotte uh found out some bad news about me things that I've done and uh it like rocked our relationship and i was in florida training uh for the pro day and she was in minnesota and then

that's when she found out and then it was just but honestly like i don't wish being cheated on let's just call it what it is on anyone but it was the best thing that like me finding out was the best thing that happened to our relationship yeah how did how did you find forgiveness charlotte oh that took a long time like I don't again that was not an overnight thing um and for a while we kind of like broke up and I was like I'm just going to focus on myself and my own faith and um that time was so critical because we both took that time apart to really focus on ourselves and working on our own hearts so that when we did come back together we were in a much different place um but forgiveness

that's like a process it's not a you just decide in your head like it was a lot of communication about how I was feeling and said had to be really patient with me too um so you know fortunately I had a partner who is committed to making those changes for me but I also had to be committed to trying every day to forgive and keep moving too what do you mean what it was a what do you what do you mean Cedric had to be patient with you too Charlotte. Well, like there were days where I wanted to just rip his head off and I was just pissed. Oh my God. I'll never forget this story. So this is so I'm training in Florida and we are already booked a trip for her to come prior to her finding out that I cheated on her. Yeah. So I'm like okay,

well this is kind of canceled but she wanted to come. I'm like because at this point we're talking about like where we go like are we going to try to keep going. You're more so like yelling at me. We weren't really talking about you were like kind of just yelling at me all the time but uh so she so we pick her up and like mind you the drive to the airport in Orlando because I was training at uh worldwide sports with Tom Shaw the airport's like an hour away so I go I pick her up and soon as I pull up she looks at me and like rips open the door throws her bag in there and slams the door and she and I was like can I have a hug and she's no so mind you I'm like okay this drive is an hour long so i'm i'm not saying i'm not going to say nothing i'm just going

drive and when she's ready she's ready probably like five seven minutes into the drive do you know i'm just like okay in this point i'm just i'm listening i'm okay i kind of prepare for this you know i'm saying i'm okay i'm going to take all these punches i deserve them so i'm just like listening to her and then we as the hour went on you know it kind of digressed a little bit and it got it got better and then it was like once we got to the place where I was staying we were able to talk and like get to a place where we can like where she can look at me you know what I'm saying she couldn't even look at me it was like the most like disheartening thing when you know like somebody you love so much who loves you and when you see how much you hurt them to where they can't look at you because

they're not much pain it was it was really really difficult I'm I'm curious how it is for you to talk about this said you see oh I don't it is what it is. I'm a big person in it like, I believe that everything that ever happens in my life and now our life, me and Mary, everything happens for a reason. I truly believe that I don't wish to do bad things. I don't wish bad things to happen to people, but I believe all the things that I've been through in my life, period, have made me the person that I am today. So I don't look back on any regrets. And what I always say is, like, I make decisions based on the information that I had at the time. I didn't have somebody teaching me how to treat women, how I look at

women. I didn't. All my things came from music, from being in the locker room, from being around guys who I didn't necessarily look up to, but I thought this was the right way to do it. So it wasn't necessarily my fault. You know what I'm saying? Like the action wasn't my fault, but the way that I was taught it, it's not mine. And that's what, you know, we got two girls. If I have a son one day, I'll be able to teach him the right way because I did all the wrong things and I was able to be with somebody who was able to work through that with me. So I have no shame at all in talking about it. We talk about it on the channel and everything, like story time, all that good stuff. It's, uh, I've been reading a couple books that I feel like relate to this idea of,

well, it wasn't necessarily on purpose that this information got to Charlotte or that you guys had to deal with this unfortunate truth that was in the relationship, but I've been reading principles by Ray Dalio and he's all about like this radical transparency is what he calls it. And then the, uh, co-founder or CEO of Zappos. He talks about how like one of the biggest company values is just like honesty. And applying that to relationships, I think just being honest in any situation is super important because as soon as you know what the truth is, as soon as you know what the reality is, then you can take the next step to like making the improvements. Like hey, Cedric, you cheated on me. What's the next step that we can now

get better from that? And you know, I don't know if that's why you guys consider that one of the best moments in relationship but well i i mean i don't think any relationship is perfect by any means and the people who are always like oh we don't argue we don't fight we don't do this she wouldn't do that he would like that's not a true relationship i feel like true relationships are the ones like you said earlier where they shatter and they're literally broken down to their core and you literally have to fight your way through it because being in a perfect relationship you don't know the whole like you don't know the whole person if you haven't seen someone at their worst you don't know how to love them at their worst and you have to like work through it

Sean's over here preaching right now she's she's dropping them bombs right now I was in a whole time I was like preach facts preach all time Andrew I talked about this before I we've talked about like mistakes or sins or whatever it may be and people try to put them on like a gradient scale of what is forgivable and what's non-forgivable and if you have to measure mistakes then you have this wrong perception of what is okay to get away with and what's not and we just believe that mistakes are mistakes and you have to fight your way through all like through all of them so i think that's a great thing so we recently spoke with a couple who said that

they're two uh i don't know untouchables that they would walk away from the relationship with are if the if either of them cheated or if either of them laid hands on the other person like aggressively do you guys have any hard nose or hard outs like that like if cedric does this or if Charlotte does this, I just can't cope with that and I couldn't forgive them. To me, it's not about like if you do this one thing. It's like, well, first of all, no, but I'm trying to give my explanation here. There's no. I would never leave you.

But the thing that I, I think I've struggled with subconsciously in the past, but now that I'm like kind of digging through my own emotion and understanding myself more, I think the one thing that really is disheartening and discouraging for me, feeling like we're not getting anywhere is if I communicate the same issue that I'm having over and over and Charlotte would tell me that like she hears me and then when the opportunity presents itself to like you know show me that you hurt me that is discouraging for me you know what I'm saying so like when that happens over and over and I ain't saying you've been doing it lately but when it happens over and over that's difficult for me and it makes me feel like

is this ever going to change you know what I'm saying because like I feel like I'm not being heard i feel discouraged i feel sad and when i when i just constantly keep doing my part in communicating if if the information isn't being received and then you know she's not and applied then i'm just like yeah i'm gonna be like is this going to be forever you know what i'm saying so i's like the cheating is it was like no but i hope that never happens but like no i wouldn't i wouldn't you know what I'm saying so I think that it would be really difficult to work through that again now being married um I think Andrew brought up a really good point earlier saying like you need to know the truth so that you can work through it together because we were getting to a point before I had found

out that Cedric was thinking about proposing and I told him if you would have proposed when I didn't know that you had cheated on me like I would have been pissed like I would have felt like the marriage and everything was like invalid I was like really about to propose too I'm talking about like ring shopping and like everything because it was like right it was like the whole dream and you like I'm about to get drafted to the league I'm supposed to my girl you know what I'm saying that whole thing and like and then but now going through that once like in our dating relationship I do think it would be really difficult to get through like now married and how having a covenant and a house, but, but I don't think that it's impossible.

There are people who do it every day. So. Yeah. Do you guys have any non-negotiables? No, I really don't. And I was kind of in some way surprised to hear that. Because I, I just view marriage as this continual process of like, I do view it as, we're freaking in this through thick and thin. Like whatever happens, we're going to deal with it. That's just my perspective on. And like,

you know, I would hope that, and I know Sean is like strong enough that like if I was ever being physically abusive or like out of control manipulative. I think there's, I think, well, no,

I'm kidding. I think there's definitely scenarios that don't fly. Yes. But for like, like two I think emotionally mature people like I think we are the majority of times I don't do there is there being anything that's like a hard out but that's what it is so cool that marriage gives you an opportunity to be presented with the same situation day in and day out like you're talking about said where you're communicating like hey would like this would mean a lot

if you did this or like I would love to see change in you in this area and that's hardest part though and that's what takes work i feel like is being self-aware so that when sean asked me to what was it that we were talking about the other day not closing cabinets is like the one thing where whatever shan yeah mine mine is leaving towels in the bathroom oh yeah i do that too i wish sean left towels in the bathroom she always uses them and then drops them randomly around the house and i'm wearing whatever my clothes are and then when i put clothes on it's going to stay there so but you're presented with the same situation maybe every single day right and then like at some point you're going to be like am i going to deal with this the same way

that i always have and frustrate my wife or am i going to make an attempt to change like that's simultaneously the most frustrating but powerful part of the marriage okay i have a question for you guys because i feel like it's in my opinion uh a lie that people try to tell couples who especially are dating going into marriage, which is that people can't change. What would be, because you always hear these questions of like, she did this,

he did this, they act this way, they'll never change, they'll never like be different. What would you guys say to, to that? From our experience, I would say that you can't make someone change.

they have to want to do it themselves because like Cedric and I for months and months and years I was like don't talk to other girls like and he'd be like okay but it wasn't until Cedric made that decision like within himself and he got to a place with that emotional maturity where he was like oh okay now I understand how like my actions like have consequences and how they can hurt other people like it had to be him um just like sedra can tell me something 15 million times and it's not until like for i say okay i want to make that change for us or for him or for myself um so i i don't think that people can't change i think that you can't change people whoa charlat dropping bombs now maybe not change but like evolve

I don't know. I look at it a little bit different. Like, for me, I believe that people can change, like Charlotte said, but it's up to them to change. But the thing that we struggle with in our marriage, as I would say, like, this really makes Charlotte upset. But we're on a couple of things we're about to be real right now. So I think for me, like, I think for me, like, Charlotte's like really close to her family. And I was raised in a way where like you were kind of like independent for yourself, but I also live in houses where like a bunch of divorces had.

I lived with my high school coach, his wife cheated on him, they got divorced. My mom and my dad were married. It was like physically and verbally abusive. They got divorced. So I see nothing about divorce. So a lot of the times when problems came up and in the beginning, I would run away. I'm like, I don't need this. I can just go somewhere else.

And I've kind of got over that threshold. And then when me and Charlotte got married, I started having kids. I started noticing, like, I'm trying to be careful with my words. The things that I, the things that I don't want to see in my, my household come from other places. And to me, that's always been difficult to understand, like, can that be changed? But that's not my responsibility. It's up to, like, Charlotte.

But then it's like us communicating about, okay, how do we want to parent? How do we want to talk to each other? And, you know, I always tell Charlotte, like, well, we talk about respect and love and being mean. what I learned is like respect and love everybody has their own definition of that and what that looks like depending on how you grew up so I look at all that into changing like can the definition of whatever you think that word or that emotion is it's really difficult for that to change when like you've been bred by that you know what I mean like I've had I've had a survival instinct and mentality for so long that it'd be really difficult for me to change that and that survival mentality can go into like an argument or in the way that we communicate or whatever you know what i'm saying so but i do believe people can't change but i think like charlotte said i think it's up to them and something has to sometimes things have to happen for you to change that's what ultimately happened to me about not talking to girls like i never forget when uh charlotte posted a

picture on instagram after i had cheated on her and i can see the pain in her face i can see like that like stress and hurt on her face and I was like I'm never doing that again and it took that for me to change you know what I mean so just I don't know you never know um a thought on what you're saying though because I feel like so many people especially listening go through the same thing you question your genetic makeup you're you were raised this way you your your parents did it this way but I think something really really cool that maybe people can learn from is you're so self-aware of it that you can actively choose each day to be like I don't want to repeat it even though it's hard I don't think it's like your genetic disposition I think it's just what

you're used to and you can actively choose to change it every day because Andrew and I talked about that with with our daughter what were we raised like separate what habits do we want to continue doing what things do we want to change what do we actively not want to pass on to the next generation or pass on to the next generation I think it's just the way you change is the is what you actively choose to do yeah I think I think it does have a lot to do with habits said I know you're big on like on the influence that that the outside or like music movies can can can have on on your perspective uh but a good example i feel like of changing what you're you're

naturally falling into is like i i see that you're waking up at 430 every day to work out is that right why are you doing that that sounds crazy well to me so for me it's like i don't first of all i don't really have time to like do it in the daytime and like for me that's the only time where I kind of have, like, time to be with myself and pray and, like, work out or do yoke or whatever. And, you know, playing football, I always got up early anyway. And I was, like, the guy first one in the locker room, first one out. So I got up earlier. Last one.

Last one. Yeah, it'd be bad if I was the first one out. Last one to leave. And when it was just ingrained in me, well, it kind of just happened over time. And now with the kids. That's his only quiet time. Like, now with the kids, like, I definitely got to get up now. Now, you know what I'm saying?

I really got to get up early because at first it was like five or six. But now I got to get up at 4.15 to be up at 4.30 and kind of get my day going. Like today I got up at three. So it just changes. I am not a morning person. Yeah, no. The video I'm actually making is talking about that. I want to hear about how the NFL was for you two as a couple.

Oh, Lord, have mercy of myself. That's why I wrote you because I just knew the pain you was going through. I'm like, man, let me write this. Let me write. you know what he's going through like oh my god it was it was a tough three years it was hard man like even when i think about being back at it now it's like we really did that like we really went through that you know i think when people think about the nfl they think of like the tom brady's right where it's like multi-million dollar contracts he's with one team well now two teams but with

one team forever and ever and that's not the case for the majority of the players and the majority of the families that are employed by the NFL. So for us, we were in Miami where Cedric was drafted for the entire season, but from then on, we were bouncing around. And so we didn't have roots anywhere. And as you start to think about having kids, that adds a whole other layer and just like the inconsistency of having a job and getting paid and then not, it was really challenging, especially as newlyweds who.

were bringing like little kids into the equation too um so yeah it was really tough but it was his like lifelong dream that he was realizing and so as his wife i wanted to continue to encourage that so even when cedric was like hey i'm done i was like well don't you want to just try like go to that try out i'll probably i'll probably were on like two more teens because of charlotte because like After the Patriots, I was for sure, I'm like, I'm making this team. Like, I'm bawling, I'm doing my thing. And then when Bill had called me and they released me and he told me why, I was just like, I'm like, dog, I'm done. Like, I can't, I'm over here, like, I don't know if I can swear on here, but like, bust in my ass, like, every day.

You know what I'm saying? Like, for that to happen there, I'm just like, bro, if I can't do it here, like, I'm done. Like, I'm just about to just, and at this time, I had no YouTube channel or anything, I was just like, I'm not to go. home and just figure it out you know what I'm saying but then I was like I was so depressed I was like I'm about to just drive to Minnesota that hates driving he was talking about driving from Boston yeah yeah so yeah dude the NFL was it was really hard like and I think what people also don't see is like people think you know like oh he's on a team or not on a team but they're not seeing like teams calling you flying for a workout and there's four other guys and they all tell you no

they tell all of the guys including yourself no you know I'm saying like I've been to the giants, the cardinals, the redskins, like stuff people even know about, you know what I'm saying? One, because I was embarrassed to say something I was going to a workout because if I didn't make it, then it's like I kind of flew out here for half a day for nothing. You know what I'm saying? So like, yeah, it's hard. NFL's no joke. Seriously. Going through all of that, I mean, hits home for us. But what was it like Charlotte it being his wife and being his number one fan and I remember with Andrew I could have cared

less like I didn't care if you made a team I didn't care if you get cut from a team and not like in an insensitive way but it just it didn't it wasn't why I loved Andrew or I love you not in past tense babe um but like with every team how do you as a wife support your husband and I remember the times Andrew would call me depressed or upset or he had just gotten cut, how did you manage to lift him up? Because it's almost like you have to be this cheerleader for years at a time. It was really hard because there were some moments throughout it where Cedric would want to talk and then there were other moments where I would say something and he would be like, why are you talking to me? So just kind of like following his way.

lead on it and trying to see like where he was at instead of just like pushing like asking questions or pushing a conversation where he wasn't ready to have it yet. I think that was really helpful. But it was really hard to navigate as his wife because like you said, I didn't care if he was like if he was playing in the NFL or if he was at home or like the title of it didn't matter to me but we were also sharing it on YouTube and so everyone was saying like oh she's only with him for the money and I'm like what money but more than just that like you know so it was really hard to navigate for sure as a wife where you wanted to be really supportive and I wanted to like keep encouraging him like if there's a door go and open it and see like this

has been your lifelong dream but then also hearing him say like I don't want to do it anymore that was a hard one for me to be like okay are you sure like you really don't want to do it yeah I started questioning myself because she was questioning me I'm like well am I sure I think I'm sure but she keeps asking me if I'm sure because I just never down the road wanted him to be like well what if I would have gone to that workout or whatever so that was I think just following My hardest thing with Andrew was when your husband is like, oh, I'm done, you don't want to be the wife that five years down the road, your husband's like, well, why didn't you push me to do one more? And it's like, oh, this sucks. It's like, I want you at home.

And it's just, I remember I didn't want to make the decision for him. So I wanted to make sure he was deciding for himself. I look back on the five years I was trying to do it the one word that comes to mind right now is instability it was just from a career standpoint financial freaking emotional I was it's just a roller coaster because you're sitting there and I remember being in Arizona and they had to sign a player because they're like starter got hurt so there's five of us there

and they progressively sent guys home. So I'm sitting there. They send like the first guy home, give them their plane ticket, send the second guy home, give them their plane ticket. I'm like one of the last two. I'm like,

this is it. I finally made my dream come true. I'm going to play in a game. Got my plane ticket like five minutes later and walked out of there. You go from like super high because it's so much more than a career too. It is a dream like you're saying.

So there's all these emotions that go into it too. But wild. times wild times so when you guys ended up deciding to walk away from the NFL what was that decision like on your relationship because i know for us it was scary we didn't have anything set up yet we weren't planning on what the next step was going to be it was this kind of leap of faith how did you guys navigate through that huge leap yeah so the end of his NFL career was actually just super crazy for us because I was like seven months pregnant and we were back in Minnesota. He was with the Vikings and we had just bought our condo here. This is where my family is. This is where we wanted

to put down roots. And he was with the Vikings and so we were like, this is awesome. Like he's going to be here through the birth of our first baby and then we'll go from there. And that was just after the draft, you got called in and they released him. Yeah, because they draft it like safety's anyone to like give them a chance because that's a but everything had been going so well and we thought for sure they would at least keep him to like training camp yeah and so then i'm seven months pregnant ceds out of a job this was like this what we thought it was perfect timing like we're in minnesota this is it and now what so then we went the whole summer and i just you know got more and more pregnant and he was home and we're like okay this is perfect we'll have a baby and then we'll figure

it out. And three days before my due date, he got called to Cincinnati. So he hopped on a plane. He had to be on a plane within the hour. So we were like rushing and I'm literally the most pregnant you can be. Yeah. And I sent him off and it was just for a workout. So I didn't even know like was I leaving him for 24 hours or would he be back tomorrow? I didn't know. And they ended up signing him. And so he got to come home for the birth of our daughter. He was home for 16 hours and then he had to fly out the next morning at like 6 a.m. to make it back in time for practice. And he was gone for the first two weeks of her life. And that was really, really hard for both of us, but especially for Cedric because he was like, I've got a baby at home. This doesn't

feel natural at all. I should be there with my wife and my new baby. And it was a huge blessing in disguise, but Cedric got injured. And he was just running down the field and he totally messed up hamstring and he got to come home and they said he would be out for six to eight weeks but he was out for the whole season and so that really allowed us time um which was so crucial to kind of like ease into the idea of no longer having football because we didn't have a choice he had to get healthy which was really tough but by the time he was healthy he was like I don't want to go anywhere else I've got a baby I want to be at home with my wife and baby I was able to raise help raise Maddie for the first like seven months I'm like dar I'm done playing football like this is all I want to do

and at this point during that seven months I was able to really work on like my social media stuff and my YouTube and understand okay I can actually make this a living and like I can be at home and work from home and then I kind of like have to prove to Charlotte I can do this and I kind of like so he came to me and he was like okay I'm going to stop playing football and I'm going to be a full-time YouTuber I was like what did they even mean like I didn't even know that that was the thing that people did that and I was like like I had more traditional outlook on work and what that meant and I was like what do you mean you're going to make videos and put them online like I just I didn't know and so it was a huge leap of faith to say like okay let's

you know jump from the roller coaster of the NFL to the roller coaster of social media and see where it goes um but we had a place so so you guys now not only have one girl but two i'm curious what that's like because we're now in six months of our having our first daughter and i feel like honestly this week is the first week that i've felt like really bonded to my child i don't know i I don't know how much crazier it gets with two, but I'd love to hear from your perspective. Dude, like, that whole, like, not feeling bonding to the baby for, like, six, seven months is real. Like, and then, like, standing up all night and, like, hearing the baby cry. You can't do nothing.

Like, just watching Charlotte breastfeed the baby. I'm just like, bro, I can't. I just feel horrible. You know, I can't do anything. But I love having girls. Like, I love, love having daughters. yeah i think it's great it's definitely a little crazy with two because mattie's only two and a half and luka is now 10 months um so we kind of you know knocked him out back to back and so it does get

a little bit crazy but it is really fun having two daughters so close in age because mattie is like in love with being a big sister she loves luka so it's really awesome to watch their bond form um but it was yeah definitely harder for said in the beginning to feel that connection right away, you know, whereas moms, you're like, you've already been feeling the connection of them growing inside of you and then breastfeeding and, or, you know, just even holding your baby. I don't know. It's just different for moms. But, yeah, said loves being a girl dad. I love having girls. Girls are great. All of these teammates are like, you need a boy. Yeah. Dude, yeah, I love being a girl dad too. It's like everything I dreamed of

of wanting and I want to raise like a boss daughter you know what I'm saying but is having a second is having a second child does that really inject chaos into life oh god yes I'm not going to sit here in front like Charlotte talks like oh no it's fine it's like no it's not it's not hard it is hard but Luca is such a easy baby yeah okay Maddie was like just really really hard for the first first few months of her life. So when Luca came and she started sleeping through the night by herself, I'm like, okay, this is for me, I didn't have to get up and feed her in the middle of night. I'm like, this is awesome. It's hard because you get no break. Like, either she has a baby

or I have a baby, and if she has both of the babies, that's not for long. If I have both the babies, it's not for long. And it was kind of scary about having a third child. We were in California before like the coronavirus and we were getting on the airplane. I was just in there. I think I'm like, If we had a third child, I would have to either hold both of them or one of them. It has to be walking. I'm like, yo, we got to think about this. Like, this is like a whole other deal here. Right now it's one B one.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm just like, yo, like this is serious. You know what I'm saying? We don't get a break and whatever. But the thing is like, I love my kids. Like, man, like seeing them interact with each other. Like, Luke was like standing now and like Maddie like holds her.

Like, oh, it's the best feeling in the whole world. it really is and we were like 20-something year old grandparents before we had kids like we never went out or anything so our kids just made us more fun yeah yeah yeah yeah that's funny um this is throwing it back to earlier in the episode you said you moved in like pretty soon after you started dating would you recommend that to others or what's your perspective on it now see i'm not i'm not i'm i'm might even go up here in front like because you can speak up it a bit from a biblical standpoint you could speak from like just morally like whatever for me personally for me I thought it was one of the best things we ever did because like we learned so much about

each other that you don't learn about until marriage you know what I'm saying like we knew like what really what how we to push each other's buttons we knew like how I leave my dirty towels in the in the bathroom now it's not a problem later on until every now it's still a problem yeah so like for me it's like it was a really good this I ain't going to say this decision. It was a, it was a choice that we made that I think is what really helped us to be how we are now. Now, I ain't telling nobody to do it or not to do it. All I'm doing, give my, you know what I'm saying? From our experience. Yeah, from my, from my experience and my perspective. I think every relationship is different and you have to do what is right for you

just because it worked for somebody else doesn't mean it's going to work for you. It's the same with parenting. So it's something that we believe did help us. But in some ways, it definitely didn't. So there's, you know, it's pros and cons. People feel passionately about that issue. What? Passionately. Like whether you should live together.

We talked about this in our last episode with a couple that we interviewed. She was actually told that she wouldn't, like, feel, she wouldn't feel fulfilled within her relationship unless she had kids. And I'm a firm believer. I'm going to preach again, okay. Um, that, like you said, every relationship is different. I feel like the world tries to say, this is what you have to do. And if you do it, you'll be happy. And I, I don't think that's the case.

I think every relationship is different and how you work through it and how, if you move in together or not, if like, it's all different. Yeah. But can I do it? Do it. Okay. So we ask every couple who comes on the show, the same three questions. But you have to choose who goes first without knowing the questions.

okay who's going first i'll go first okay it's nothing hard um charlotte what is your biggest pet peeve with cedric we talked about one oh my gosh probably that yeah the the washcloths and the shower is definitely one but i would say this dude is like already hard of hearing i have to call his name like 10 times before it registers sometimes. And he's like, why are you calling my name? I'm like, because you didn't respond. That's probably one of my biggest pet peeves for sure. So if you call my name a lot until I say something.

Yes, I don't know. You like zone out or something. Okay, now you get to go. What's your biggest pet peeve with Charlotte? Oh, that's, I don't know it off the top of my head. My biggest pet peeve is Charlotte just leaves stuff everywhere. Like she leaves cups and stuff in like living room me in the room for like days and it drives me nuts you know how you bring like water

cups to bed and then you set it on your nightstand yeah but it ends up being like five or six I'm not even over exaggerating cariboo cups kitchen cups kitchen bowls and next you know her whole side of her bed I'm like Charlotte come I'm like come on but thankfully I have a husband who's willing to do the dishes oh my God and I'm like kind of like a clean freak I like I love like I can't think if the house is messy you know what I'm saying and like I'm just like, dude, I just can't. It's organized chaos. I know where everything is.

No, that's, no, it's not. I think we're reversed in our relationship. I can't think if things aren't organized. He likes the chaos. And Sean, like, I know Sean's mad when she just starts cleaning things randomly. I'm like, oh, geez, what did I do? But what's crazy is I'm not pretty clean. Yeah, I just don't even talk to Cedric when he's cleaning.

Oh, like, pretty clean. Okay, wait. So question number two. Cedric, you go first this time. What do you love the most about Charlotte? I love her passion. Like, not even just for me, just for, like, human beings in general. Like, when Charlotte, like, listen to somebody or pours into someone, she doesn't give you, like, a little bit.

She gives you everything. And me being her husband, I obviously get the most of that. And I always, it's funny because she was, like, making a TikTok yesterday. I had to answer these five questions, like, what do you love the most about me? And the first thing was, like, her passion like just for human beings in general and yeah that's what I love the most about her and then Charlotte I would say just how committed Cedric is to everything that he does like when Cedric says he's going to do something you everybody else better buckle up because he's like jumping in and he's

doing it and he's like super determined whatever it is to like not just do it but like to master it So when he said, oh, I'm going to be a full-time YouTuber, I'm like, okay, like, I believe you because whatever it is that like really puts his heart into it and goes the extra mile to learn how to do it and do it well. Yeah, bro, your next level on, on the quality of your videos, I watch them. I'm like, I feel guilty because it's like so much better quality than ours. You got the perfect lighting, the perfect backdrop. We got good words to say.

It's honestly kind of annoying, isn't it? Yeah. He spends so much time. Yeah. Even just like the past three days, like I was like working like this like lighting thing. And I kept doing it over and over and I finally got it last night. And then I got up at three in the morning because I was like, well, technically my viewers won't know that it's nighttime if I do it at three in the morning.

So I can get some sleep and just I can have the energy to like think about what I'm going to say. Right. So that's what I did. Funny. Takes time. What is the. best relationship advice that you've ever been given, or maybe it's something you've experienced and it's your own advice based off that experience?

You got to go first. That's a tough one. I think Sean said it best earlier that it's not just like one time and it clicks and that's it. You have to choose to love the other person every single day because it's not. just always butterflies and roses it relationships are really hard even the ones where you're closest the ones that are closest seem to be the most challenging and so I think you just everyone always asks us like what what do you guys do that makes it work and I think it's just

being committed to choosing each other and choosing to love one another every single day and we don't always get it right like there are plenty of days where we're like by the end of the day we're at each other's throats and we're like wow we really sucked it up today but um thankfully i've got a partner who the next day we wake up and we choose each other again i think the best relationship advice i've ever gotten um i think i read it in a book or something i don't remember where i got it from but it stuck with me but it was like i have to make sure that i work on myself before i go to charlotte with these like these internal issues that i have going on because a lot of the times I would like be upset for no reason for no reason or be

sad or didn't want to talk and it was because I wasn't doing the work to myself to figure out what was wrong and instead I would just go to Charlotte and dump it on her and like you don't understand me when I really wasn't really understanding myself I wasn't doing the work and I've been doing like a lot of things internally um to make me understand my emotions more and that has helped that's what our communication it has helped me so much be able to like listen to her when I actually hear her call me um and yeah so i think the biggest thing is just working on my own not my own self but my own stuff before presenting it to charlotte because therefore i can come correct and clear and she can understand me it's so much easier just to point the finger at your husband who leaves washcloths in

the towel or wash class in the shower or whatever but like i've got my own stuff he's got his own stuff so that's a good one cedric charlotte i'm uh thankful to call all you friends. We're thankful to call you friends. Thankful that you create the content that you do that's so family focused and uplifting and encouraging to families. And I'm excited to see what's next for you guys. We're definitely going to be taking some parenting tips from you. And we'll see how this second child goes at some point. But thanks for taking the time to talk today. Thank you for having it. We were really excited to do this. So thank you so much for having this. and hope y'all hanging in there with the baby i know it's tough i know it's tough y'all just pray for us too

we will it's hard over here i can't i can't imagine i it's chaos with one you're gonna learn yeah you don't worry about and if you guys haven't please make sure to check out their youtube channel and their social platforms everything will be in the description below that's right they are awesome they put out amazing content they're awesome to follow thank you guys Thank you.