Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew - 283 | We Weren't Ready For This: Episode 4

Episode Date: October 29, 2025

Episode 4 pushed us harder than ever- physically, mentally, and emotionally. We talk about the self-deprecating jokes which quickly turned into a deep, unexpected conversation. We also talk about the hardest challenge we've had on this show so far and the moment that almost broke us. Let us know what you think in the comments :) Love you guys! Shawn & Andrew Rocket Money ▶ Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to https://www.RocketMoney.com/eastfam today. Subscribe to our newsletter ▶ https://www.familymade.com/newsletter Follow our podcast Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/shawnandandrewpods/ Follow My Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/ShawnJohnson Follow My Tik Tok ▶ https://www.tiktok.com/@shawnjohnson Shop My LTK Page ▶ https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shawnjohnson Like the Facebook page! ▶ https://www.facebook.com/ShawnJohnson Follow Andrew’s Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/AndrewDEast Andrew’s Tik Tok ▶ https://www.tiktok.com/@andrewdeast?lang=en Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up, everybody. Welcome back to a couple things. With Sean and Andrew. We are here to talk about episode four, which is one I've been wanting to talk about since we got off the show. This is the episode that has the tunnels in it. We have been hyped to see how this turned out in the cinema world, how it looked on TV. Because in person, this was the craziest thing we did on the show. Yeah.

And let me just say, it was the Andrew East episode. And I feel like I just want to say, I'm sorry. that I feel like I ruined the episode by, you know, they put my face all over this epic experience that we had. Why are you mad? Because this is exactly what the show was taught. Like, this is what the entire episode was about. Self-deprecation is my love language.

Yeah, but it's, it gets to be annoying. Sean's legit annoyed. I could see it in her eyes. I also do want to just say thank you because the amount of messages I got that were very sincere and encouraging was great. I do want to just address, though, a couple things. And I have notes here based off of how the episode panned out and was edited that I will just address line by line.

The first is just saying, thank you. One, we're watching it with my sister-in-law, my brother, my mom, and we're all laughing because I feel like the way it could be interpreted is Andrew has low self-confidence and a lot of self-doubt. And I don't feel like that's true. We're laughing because it's like, if anything, I feel like I'm called boisterously arrogant, if anything, you know? Do you agree with that? I don't think you've ever been called that in your life, but that's okay. I feel like if people say, hey, does Andrew skew overconfident or self-doubty, where would

you say I lie? Probably only overconfident. Okay. Like if you and I just meet and we're having, I don't know, some competition like cornhole, I'll probably be talking about. talking trash like, I'm the guy. And that's just out of a joke. Okay.

I also want to say, to their credit, production did a pretty good job at encompassing most of the essence of the conversations and the interviews that we had. There was a couple things that I feel like need colored in, I feel like, because, well, you can hear how they splice words in here and there. I feel like you're really self-conscious about the way that they portrayed you. and I think you came across in a beautiful light. So the fact that you feel like you have to go back in and fill in lines. No, no, no.

I'm confused about it. No, no, not fill in line. Color, like to adjust people who perceived me after the episode as lacking confidence or like full of shame. Because I don't feel that way. I'm not like a sad guy walking around. So that's why I'm like, I feel like I need to color in the rest of the picture. Okay. so you know we watch this episode we'll talk about the events as they happened like what activities we actually did on the show but I feel like we should just start here okay I feel like you need to start here just for me yeah I do want to say though that we got a comment of the week from Emily who said I love the special forces episodes keep them coming I'm watching the show now because it was so interesting listening to you recap it credit

to Sean. Credit to Sean. I've actually really enjoyed doing these episodes and I'm so glad that we are discussing them at length because for Sean and I, this was really a pivotal experience to do this together. So let's start with the beginning episode where it's me in the car talking about my football career. Cody said you were a long snapper so you didn't get a lot of the attention. And I don't know how those spliced, but I said, said, yeah, my ego never had a chance to shine because it's always like, hey, I'm Sean Johnson's husband, which is true. And that's fine. And that's not me like complaining about that or saying that's bad. In the context of the conversation that Cody and I were having, it was about marriage

and how important it is to set your ego aside and how I've constantly been humbled by things like the position I played in football, which is like the bottom of the chain of like no one's buying long snapper jerseys. You know what I'm saying? Just the glory explicitly does not occur with that position. And that was that was such a good thing for me because I do skew on the overconfident side. If I played like quarterback that gets all the tension in love, I would probably be a real a hole, you know, probably really be all about myself. So then we're talking about my position of football and then when I was talking about how good it has been for me to be married to Sean, not in like a resentful or sad way. You do joke about the idea a lot of like you're so happy that you never got the true chance to let your ego shine because it would have gotten out of hand.

You joke about that a lot. They took a joke that you tend to fall back on and they made it into like an actual line. I agree with that. That's what I'm trying to color it in. But I have a huge butt here and I'll wait to the end. Okay, okay. I have a long monologue. Wow.

You're going to go line by line. No, no, no. Just concept by concept. Let me give you the butt to start out with. So the other thing that I mentioned in there is how this happened in the car and in the sit down interview that you see on the show towards the end, how I was really good at my position, which is true. And then I lost it, which is also true.

Like, I blew the opportunity. And I also think that was a good experience for me. I don't look back on that regretfully, you know? But our careers have not been delivered. Sorry, my career has not been delivered to me on my time, how I dreamed it up. Coming out of high school, getting a college scholarship, we've talked about it a couple times. Like, it was not the normal way.

Like, I got a scholarship at the last second. and it was really good for me that I didn't like get recruited heavily out of high school and then coming out of the pros it took me a long time to finally play a game in the NFL and then even on YouTube like we've never had this moment of influx where it's like we've made it you know like we wow everything's happening so quickly and the good part about that constant speed bumps is that we've grown, we've matured along with the experiences and opportunities. So I think if it all came fast or on the timeline that I wished it had, I wouldn't have been ready for it and would have probably stewarded it poorly.

So on the topic of like how I feel about my football career and, you know, I said in the sit down interview at the end, I was a top dog and then I, the coach said the position is yours just don't blow it. I did blow it. And that's, I said I feel shameful about that because it's not a continuing shame. It's like a, when I think about that moment in time, I'm so disappointed that I had a wonderful opportunity that I didn't fully realize. And the result of that and why I'm not sad moving forward is that I now am eagerly seeking

other opportunities and really want to capitalize the, those opportunities when they come to me. So, like, that's why it's a net positive for me. And it might have come across, like, a little sad, like I think about how I blew my football career. But also, if I was still playing football, our life would not be as so, I love our life so much now. And I would not change a single thing about it. So I'm not sitting here thinking, oh, my gosh, that was my one thing in life that I lost. Me not getting that thing that I was so tight-gripped, white-knuckled about allowed me, or forced me, rather, to look outside of that opportunity and, like, try to establish myself other, elsewise.

And I feel like that's then when I started learning about all these things. We talked last week, I got my Ph.D. Like, that's, none of that is happening if football happened. So I am so glad at how it all panned out, but the lesson I learned, learned that I am shameful about is like don't waste an opportunity if it's at your doorstep and that's not that doesn't like hit my mind every time I roll out of bed I'll pause there because that's those are two of the topics I want to talk about and there's more so carry on what's your thoughts I think I think my thought should stay at the end okay the next thing

that I would like to talk about is some people said I didn't know Andrew was insecure that was a message we got maybe one message out of thousands and thousands and thousands if coming from the guy who tells me one bad comment doesn't mean anything why are you picking that coming up to defend because of the trend of if this if this if this if if the interviews and things didn't come across, like people who know us. I'm not like defending myself. I'm coloring in.

So I do feel super deeply secure and it's because Sean and I have this like biblical identity that's rooted in Christ and I think it's not about achievements or performance or anything like that. I don't feel like it needs to be position based

or leadership based or anything else. And we have this whole identity statement, which I'll read parts of to you that Sean and I, I put together because of a mentor who encouraged me to do it. But like, this applies to me and it also applies to you, which is why I want to read it. If you look at who the Bible tells you, you are, it's really amazing. Some of the things that go into that are Philippians 3 that says, our citizenship is not, it is in heaven, and we eagerly await a savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ. Second Corinthians says, I'm not my past. I'm not my failures. I'm not my feelings. Sorry.

That's what I wrote as a takeaway to the next verse, which is, therefore, if any wasn't in Christ, the new creation has come, the old is gone, the new is here. Philippians 413 says, I can do all things through Christ. I am equipped. I am empowered. Let's see. Even my weaknesses are like cracks in a clay pot through which God's light can shine. Then you have, we are God's masterpiece he has created us a new in christ jesus ephesians too uh the fruits of the spirit i carry love joy peace patient kindness i have this whole document that i wrote down like things that the bible says we are like we're made for such a time as this uh i'm a child of the king of the universe citizen of heaven these things i think it's important that i share that because

we can do all things through christ which is like hey that's not about me It's a Christian idea of humility where it's like, we're extremely capable, but not because of anything we do. So it takes the ego out of it. I'm really curious where all of this is coming from. Why do you feel such a need to, like, defend the edit? I'm very confused. I'm saying, I'm not defending it.

You're going line by line here, baby. I'm talking about the things that I talked about in the interview that I think are actually important parts of my story. But I actually think you're missing on the whole overarching thing that production, editing, and the DS picked up on. Which was what? You have a very, very hard time giving yourself any credit. It is not about you being insecure or lacking confidence. It was what a lot of my interviews were about.

It's what the production who we befriended and became so close with. Yes. actually spoke so highly of they were like you are such an incredible human with all of these great attributes and accolades no it's the reason why foxy said in the actual episode that was caught not in a preemptive script or or question but he was like I am most fascinated with that guy. It's because there is a quality of you where you are so incredibly driven. You're in you challenge yourself. You like you achieve all of these things but yet you will never stand here and give yourself credit for it. You always either self-deprecate or which is my form of comedy just to be

which is your form of comedy because it's rooted out of like I'm so secure but if I that's fine but if I did that to myself over every accolade and accomplishment I've ever done it's the only thing you ever heard come out of your wife's mouth someone you respected was self-deprecation towards all of the things that I've accomplished it wouldn't feel good to you even though I know I'm secure and what I'm saying is in when certain circled in a condensed period of time with people whose job it is to dissect human beings

and find one little thing about them that they feel like they should work on, the one thing that they picked out for you is you gotta give yourself more credit. You are the most humble human being I've ever met in my life. That was your takeaway? Yes.

Okay, part of the reason I'm doing that is because your comment feeds into some of the DMs that I got which is you're not going to like this the ego thing or because I know you but I feel misunderstood the fact that you even feel like you have to hype me up right now like you know what I'm saying I'm not hyping you up no no and I think you're misunderstanding my job here is not to hype you up my job is to explain maybe to you a larger picture whereas like you you and I work in editing We work in the subliminal messaging that comes into one sentence.

You know and I know your jokes and your self-deprecation and how they're interpreted and where they stem from. And I know it doesn't come from insecurity. It comes from this. But there is like an annoyance as your wife would be like, come on, man. You're freaking amazing. And I know, no, no.

I know you're never going to say that, but I know you also believe it. Okay. Okay. In the context of the show, where they don't know you as well, and everybody watching where they don't know you as well, I knew watching that some of these lines were going to bother you because one of those lines taken out of context can make you seem insecure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what I am saying to everyone listening and to you is if you zoom out for a second, the overarching category. or topic or line or theme that has to do with Andrew East in the context of special forces

was that the DS picked you out to say you are one of the most impressive people they've had on the show, but why can't you take credit for it? Why do you lead your team through these tunnels that we're going to talk about? And why can't you say, we did a, like, I did a good job leading. Okay. No, no, no. You're very humble. Thank you.

sometimes it's to a fault. No, no, no, thank you for that. Let me tell you why. One, self-deprecation is funny, and I don't, like, actively navigate my self-deprecation jokes with this mentality, but it's also, like, disarming, which then opens the door to teamwork, you know what I'm saying? If I was, like, beat my chest or feel like I had to- You're so freaking humble and it's just annoying.

I thought I was humble, then I married you, and I was like, whoa, it's a whole different. Sean is extremely humble. The capabilities and abilities that Sean has and how meek she is, is insane. But it's like, if I were to put you on the biggest stage in the world in a category of business that like you thrive at, like it's truly your realm. And someone is like, what, Ander Dane, what do you do for a living? You'd be like, I'm Sean Jones's husband. It's like, because I'm so proud of that. That's like, it's something that I'm so proud of.

Because one thing I said in that in the interview multiple times and the sit down before the show. show and during the show is what I have realized through being a long snapper, not a glory position, being your husband and not being like, oh, not everyone's hyping me up because I'm in the NFL. They're just like pumped that I'm Sean's husband is I have realized that when Sean wins or when my teammates win, I also win. So the more energy I could put into that and effort I can put into you winning, it's like It actually then...

This is annoying. It's a win, win, win, win, win, win. But how many times would the DS sit us down, you and me separately, and be like, this is not an us game, though we are such a strong team, you and I. And we have our attributes that make us so strong. They would sit you down and say, remove yourself for a second from the us. No, don't shake you. your freaking head.

Not because we're ever going to get divorced and not because we are never going to be in us but because within the us we have individuals. They said as an individual like you have to

at some point stand up for your strengths and that is not always attached to your wife. I don't back down from my strengths though. So that's why I'm like no I disagree.

You don't back down but you don't acknowledge them. So this is, I know what they are. Maybe we should know too Andrew. I don't, I can't.

freaking tell you what this right there let me tell you no that's what they wanted to exploit is grow a pair and say i'm freaking good at x y and z what am i good at x y and z answer i'm a vibes czar i'm the vibe king dude that's give yourself actual credit i'm here for the vibes for the shit you do okay uh let me tell you i'm not gonna pop you ever know so i want you to finish I'm freaking good at vibes. I'm good at being a good teammate. And that's the best thing

I could ever think of. That's the best thing. I feel arrogant even saying that. You all watching. You know what award I am most proud of ever winning? My biggest achievement, if I lined up all my accolades. Was that you got married to me?

Yeah, honestly that. I won in college, the ultimate teammate award. And that to me was like the bomb the best. The bomb. That's it. That's all I ever wanted. This is great. Okay.

Because if the team wins, if my wife wins, I know. I win. But when you're a good teammate, that means you're doing a good job at your job. I agree. What's your job? Teammates. Vives. I don't know how you want me to answer that question other than that.

let me tell you here's okay in the next thing then no no no no this is related no we're gonna walk through the episode this is related you get two this is it i'll give you two more what do you mean two more bullet points of lines that you didn't like how they edited no no this is not how i didn't like how they i said they did a good job editing and they captured the essence i'm coloring in production fox you did a good job editing i feel like you actually captured the conversation well yo our bro psychiatrist we need a call here i'm not here saying saying oh they like clipped it together when we hang up on this they're going to call you let me say are you good the other thing that was addressed was the leadership that's kind of like the whole

tunnel thing felt like with our team the leadership and they said you were really good at it i said in my interview i'm a good leader a lot of times i just don't step up to that yeah which is true and i i am fine with that let me explain why if you and i are hanging out i'm not going to ever say no to something. I'm not ever going to not like take on a challenge. Maybe you should say no to things. No, I'm here to like amplify. That's what I feel like I, my role is. I'm like, what? Okay. I need to call Foxy. Here's what I'm saying. I'm not going to let fear get to me. That's what I mean by I'm not going to say no to anything. Yeah. So I'm in on

that. I love a good challenge and I'll be front line if you want me there. I'm good at that but you're not going to elect yourself to lead the team though yeah because here's why because because because team and group dynamics are fragile i think you should go to the show so here we are before the show before the tunnels it's jesse mark eric and i they broke us into that team everyone said choose the team captain you know what my i just keep my mouth shut and then if and then jesse said andri are captain eric said you andri are captain and mark like went along with it great So I'll be like, why does everybody want Andrew to be captain, Andrew? That's what, and I'm saying, I'm not going to say no to that.

Why? So I'm like, I'm the captain. Answer the question. Here's how we doing. I have thoughts. He's ignoring the question. No, I have thoughts on what should be done. But if I'm in a situation where there is a leader in place that has a clear vision, I don't need to like inject myself.

You can't have two chiefs and TP. Why do you think they all elected you to be captain? I'm fine with the fact that they did. what I'm saying is I have preferences and ideas and visions but if I'm around like we we confront all the time I say hey my my level of preference on this thing this decision is low are you hearing the ones that are coming out of my mouth what why do you think all of them chose you to be captured because I can I can play that role 100% because I'm a good leader I can also be back of the line after me I'm a good leader just

Jesse gave me a very nice compliment. She said, I knew that if I was on Andrew's team, everything was going to be okay. That's also another compliment that I like hearing. But what I'm saying is people have strong a preference. I'm just kind of like a, I used to be called bro my whole college career because I was just like chilling. So meaning I'm good.

Yeah, I used to be 12 one time too. I'm good. No. People have strong preferences on things. and like I will support hey this person really wants to be leader great go for it I'm so you lead your team through the tunnels beautifully and you do such a good job and the DS talk about it later and they're like I just wish he would give himself more credit here's the thing the team did great you know who was you know who had my back do you know why do you know why

because Mark had my back and I had Mark's back this is what I'm saying I'm fine I got Mark's back I got Eric's back I got Jesse's back Let me just say let me just say Why do you have beef with that Our team leader was great

But he got a little crazy He landed on top of me in the tunnels He forgot two of us Were even in the tunnels He went on way ahead of us Okay The back two of us We're in it together

Pulling each other through You know who wasn't there That our team leader He panicked a little too much You know what you didn't do was panic so you were a good team leader that's why your team did well andrew fine thank you balls i just feel like people talk people get so stressed out there's all these self-help books and like speakers and instagram videos about you got to step up and be the leader and my my school of

thought is informed most by christianity christ was a servant leader okay in a really important thing you're going back to scripture no i would also say you know winnie the pooh there's a whole book called the tau of poo or bruce lee the be like water my friend and then also like stoicism which is just being inner like inner peace type of life you're just saying words now no i'm saying those are the those are like the philosophical schools that inform how i navigate the world and so i feel like when people say i need to start a business and be a CEO or I need to be like this real dope leader and loud and forefront and like I'm just saying I can be a leader like I said on the show. But if I'm in a position where there's someone else who like feels really pumped about that, then go for it, please.

But you can still be a leader from the back. Sure. In the sense of like not be the captain, but like that is your character and that is your qualities of like the strength is like you have an ability as. the vibe master that you deem yourself is like you are a phenomenal leader in any sense i just like supporting i think is is a part of leadership that doesn't get tossed around in the pop culture realm it's not like no i think you're just scared to call yourself a leader i can i'm not scared i can be a good leader but i also do want to say this is my last thing it's my last thing are we having like existential crisis like I think I have a healthy detachment with the whole leadership thing

I think you have I think you are detached no one thing we learned in in our marriage counseling was healthy detachment which means like I don't need to I'm like fully engaged and interested in the process but I don't need anything like I don't feel I don't feel like that's gonna change my life at all. Okay. What psychiatrist? Have we just interviewed a really good psychiatrist? What was his name? We're going to send this to him. My last point that I would like to make is you already said those your last point. I have no I said I had two more points. I have been around amazing teammates which I need to include this in there because it's not me saying I wish I was like them like when I say I'm Sean Johnson's husband. it's like that is the thing I take most proud like most pride in I have amazing parents I have

amazing siblings who have led me I have had been a part of some amazing football teams and not amazing football teams you know I'm saying and I've been married to you I have had elite teammates my whole life and you are one thank you do you believe that thank you I love being on good teams. Do you believe you're an elite teammate? I think I'm a good teammate. I think I'm a good teammate. Do you believe you are an elite team? I'm not going to sit here and say I'm an elite teammate. I'm not going to say. I told you earlier the award I won and how much that meant to me. That's all I'll say. I also think that plays into the comment that I said of I like being around competition and I'm not as concerned with winning. Like it goes with being a part of the high-level teams. I like competition because it pulls out the best in you. I'm without Eric Decker, crawling through those tunnels, whatever.

The more we're all bought into the process and competitive, the better we all do in that. I agree. And so I don't need to, like, I don't need to at the end of that tunnel here that we did the best. All I need to know is, like, we got the best out of each other, done deal. So that's what I meant to say there

I am really curious to see where the show takes this With however long we're on the show Because I don't think they're done with this story yet Okay I still I told you I only cried once in my interviews And it was about this exact topic That they brought up with me

I did not bring this up They're like Why doesn't Andrew give himself enough credit And I lost it I just started bawling I was like, I married the greatest guy I've ever met in my entire life. The most capable, most able, most, like, the strongest man. In every sense of, like, you're a leader to our family and to our community and to your friends

and you're a phenomenal teammate and you're just, you're so amazing and you don't see it. You always fall back on, I was either lucky or I had good mentors, but you won't give yourself the credit of it. No, I think let me No. This is why I wanted to talk about this. Because it can be both and. I think it can be both and. I can say I have great mentors. I agree, but you don't say and. You know how every month we sit down

and try to figure out where our money actually goes? Like, we think we're on top of it, but then somehow the numbers never quite add up. Yeah, I'll be like, wait, why is there another charge for a streaming service we don't even use anymore? I think there's probably four extras that I signed up for yesterday. That's exactly why we started using rocket money. It's this personal

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That's rocketmoney.com slash EastFam. RocketMoney.com slash EastFam. Okay, that's fair. I apologize. I'll do better. And I feel the same way by you. I feel like I'm married to the most amazing, humble person. I just feel like everyone talks about like the dominant leadership.

And I'm like, chill out, dude. Like everyone's worried about being leaders and like, and they forget about stopping and enjoying the right or stopping him being a good supporter or stopping him being, like, enjoying the moment. So I'm like, if you want me to be a leader, I'll freaking play that role like I did in the tunnels. I don't freaking need it, though.

I'm like here for the, I'm here for the vibes. And everyone knows that. You never have to worry about anyone thinking you're a domineering, dominating, I need the limelight leader. Neither of us are that way. But I need you to know and be able to say, and acknowledge about yourself that you are a phenomenal leader.

Thank you. And I think that's what the show picked up on. And I think it came out beautifully, but I think you have a hard time seeing that. I think some people could read any of that and say, oh, they were painting it as insecurity or lack of confidence or self-doubt. No.

The overarching thing is your humility is so beautiful, but every once in a while you need to look in the mirror and realize, like, you're the frickin' bomb. I don't struggle with that at all trust me you understand that that's what I started with if anything I've got like people are like wow that guys do you feel like you're deserving of what I feel like do you feel like you're deserving of what acknowledgement I'll freaking take it look I got a smile on my face now because you're giving it to me but it's like I just do you think you earned all of your accolades?

Yes. And I feel like I had great mentors and had great opportunity. And that's why I feel ashamed about that one thing. Here are my closing thoughts. We got to walk through this episode. Okay. Closing thoughts. Strength and leadership are not equate, strength and leadership are not equivalent

to dominance. No. Peace and clarity and showing up with humility go a long way when it comes to strength and leadership. And sometimes that means leading. and sometimes it means listening. And I also just want to ask you and those listening, what do you think your leadership style is?

And where in your life are you trying too hard to quote unquote be the leader, like all these people online are trying to like show you to be? And when maybe the most powerful thing in that situation you could do is support someone else. You know what? I loved about this experience. And especially this episode,

seeing how much foxy respects you they all do i texted foxy what he said i said yo bro appreciate you man he's like you good dude i actually didn't even read the message that's that's another hold on oh my god well he i i saw that i don't know if he sent me multiple but the last one he sent was you good bro yeah did you respond no you got to respond uh thank you no oh oh yeah sorry that was my last point the reason i don't feel like i need to be that like strength dominant leader is because there's other things in life that maybe leadership applies to that i but but i want to do more like i want to be present with my kids as opposed to like freaking out about leading a business or i want to be present i think you're painting the wrong picture because you are that strength leadership

person it might not be president of coca cola and being i don't know Like, I don't know. Some false picture that society has painted. That's what I'm trying to address is the false idea of leadership. But I actually think the way you are showing leadership within the show is so beautiful. Thank you. And I don't think anybody is saying you need to go from that to this false narrative character that we're talking about. I think everyone's just saying you are showing the world a different leadership that is not shown often.

And it is so beautiful. but just don't forget that you are doing something so amazing and that you are amazing and I think people just want you to like acknowledge that and I just want to say that thank you okay episode four we could we could keep going about this for a long time also sorry to ravi because the story that ravi shared on the episode compared to mine I'm like you can't don't put me that that didn't even his story is so tragic yeah which I do want to start with that as we talk about the episode thank goodness

Sean and I in our life have been blessed to not have any tragic traumatic event like that happened Ravi's story was crazy to hear and made me really appreciate him

and how he led his family through that time I can't imagine losing a daughter at that age but it did make me realize like oh dude we're so blessed

we yeah like we got it good we do So go ahead. Episode four starts out with the rappel. Okay. So we, that was a long drive. We drive out to the repel.

My opinion, again, kind of a boring challenge. I really wanted to, like, jump off the dam or something. But we, one by one, had to, like, go up, walk all the way across the dam, kind of, like, repel walk down the side of it to the very edge yeah and then rappel down it to like a concrete platform and then after you're done you had to run back up

which they didn't show which was awful and just to clarify there are certain challenges that Sean and I agreed were both not that fun the latter being one of them this one Sean called it lame you said I disagree with that this was really amazing fun it was a thrill the walk up there was so dope

It was so beautiful. The whole thing was like, it was beautiful and it was a thrill. I mean, my palms are sweating, thinking about that. Yeah. Yeah. It was really cool. I think for me, it wasn't super challenging. I will say there was one part. I was really shocked that they didn't show like a clip of it.

But to get down to the top of the dam where you're like walking across, that's where you see everyone walking across. There was like this little rope. that was probably 20 feet they got a climb down yeah and i got tangled up in it so like i'm climbing down it trying to get to foxy who's like waiting for me and i got so tangled up in it i couldn't i couldn't get down it did you have to have help no but he was like what the is happening and he just like cussing up a storm just making i was making a fool of myself and he's like are you good he's like just get down whatever but then you'd have to walk across the dam you had to take your you know there's like a you had a safety harness connected so you're like unclipping reclipping

and then you get to the very edge for me my personal experience is i was billy was the one sending me off he told me the code which was also really it was hard to understand bill he has a very strong accent so billy it was at the top when he was hooking you up to the ropes that billy gave you the code. So like peak adrenaline, you're getting ready to jump off the dam. But it also was not in delivered like, hey, okay, here's the code. No. It was like, hey, all right, so you're going to, you're going to look over your right shoulder. You're going to, if you need to stop, put the hand behind you code is four, BG, blah, blah, da, da, yeah. And it was like, what? Like, did I just? And he doesn't repeat it. Yeah, doesn't repeat it. And if you ask him to repeat it, he yells at you.

So you're just like winging it. You're like, did I hear that right? Go ahead. He was trying to spike my adrenaline more because I think I was a little too chill on this one again thinking I was like oh it was fine because like I'm hanging off the side they didn't show this and he says look over your right shoulder and as I look over the right shoulder he did like pretend gives me too much slack so like I I drop back a little bit and then he he would always do this with me some just try to mess me up at some point again playing with me and he's like whoa what the was that you trying to like jump off and I was very well knowing it was him. I don't know.

Just messing with me. And then he delivered the code and just says go. But I was the first small girl to go. So a lot of the guys had gone before me. It gets edited in a different order. But I was the first small girl. So they were still kind of figuring some stuff out. So as soon as Billy told me to go and I like dropped,

I wasn't heavy enough to drop. Dude, my hands are sweating. So I literally like wasn't even hanging on to the rope. and I was not moving and I was hanging there for probably a couple minutes they were yelling at me like try to do this

and try to do that we finally figured out a way for me to like move and I was literally pulling the rope up and feeding it back through the carabiner or whatever if I did that I'd be dropping with the speed of gravity

yeah Andrew was hanging on to the rope tight I literally was not hanging on and I wasn't moving and so by the time I got going because of all of this I started spinning and within the third

300 foot drop. I had to have spun 50 times. That's crazy. I was so dizzy. You were actually dizzy? I was so dizzy. Wow. Because I was just. So you stopped and talked to Q and your head's spinning? Yes. And he's smirking and he goes, damn. What was that? And I was like, yeah, no clue. Wow. That's crazy. And you got your code right. I got my code right. And you passed. I mean, I think he actually told me it was a fail at the beginning. Because it was It was a train wreck Like I couldn't

Yeah, but not Because of anything you did No, it just like Was not smooth even remotely Yeah Let me let me paint the picture If you have any fear of heights Yeah

I don't think the helicopter Would have gotten you I don't think the ladder Would have gotten you But this one Was a heights Yeah big time Interesting

So you go down this little slippery side wall To get to the point of ultimate repel and you have boots on which you think would have traction but you're slipping kind of all the way back so you have to really lean back for me

which was like you're putting a trust exercise in your rope and then you get to the bottom and there's like this little pad that you're standing on and it's a steep drop it's 300 feet

and Billy goes through his thing to me said the code I heard BJ 51712 or whatever yeah he has an accent. He's hard to understand. So I didn't understand the code from the get-go. I repeated back what I heard, but whatever. So then you have to go, I think the most difficult part was going from standing up vertical to standing up horizontal because it's weird to position your feet like

that and get your weight. If you think about like you squat down to get your foot on the side wall, and then you have to reset your center of gravity backwards. and so that's why I slipped a little bit because it's like I had to move a little bit to get my hand where it need to be and then you hold that for like quite a while he made me hold it for like 15 seconds he's telling you look over your right you're left and it's like again my hands are just freaking dripping and then as soon as I started descending that's when I was good yeah but up into that moment like bro that is a thrill yeah get to the bottom say the code that I heard which is bravo golf 5717 or whatever

failed it. I knew I was like so bummed because I was you're pissed. I was just pissed yeah. And yeah then we go back to the top support everybody else. I think in the episode then it goes to Rovey's

that one too it probably took five hours like we were out there a long time. It took a long time to get each individual person going making sure like our equipment was on Let me pull up my notes. It took a long time.

So then we finally get back in the cars and we're going back to base camp. A couple of things people have been asking about on social media I wanted to like share. So we keep saying that our Bergens were 35 pounds. The way that your Bergens were 35 pounds because everybody's gear was obviously different sizes and different weights. My gear weighed a lot less than Andrew's gear. and so everyone's gear was anywhere from like 18 15 to 20 pounds probably all your gear in your bergen so then while we were at base camp you're always you're constantly taking things out and putting things back in the way to get your bergen to 35 pounds is inside our bergen we had a

huge like potato sack that we would have to fill with sand and weigh on a scale outside our like where we were sleeping and you'd have to put that in the bottom of your bergen and you had to check that every day because it would change and they instilled in you this fear that we're going to come check and if it's not 35 pounds you're going to get a bee sting and so i remember we would always go back and we'd always go back by the scale and hang our bergens be like shoot i'm under i'm over there was a bunch of house keeping items to do like if you're on toilet duty you had to do that we were on dish duty the whole time washing everyone's dishes after every meal so the first day cue says calls our numbers up he says you

you guys are on dishwasher duty. And every other position got rolled over or switched in 24 hours. But ours, he never called anybody back up to be dishwasher. And he also never said, like, you're not dishwasher duty for today. He just said, you're dishwasher duty. Right. So we didn't want to get in trouble. Like, you know, if they're watching the footage and they see someone else watching

washing their dishes and then all of a sudden we're all in trouble, we were like, shoot. So we were trying to wash dishes the whole time. We ended up having a system where, like, ultimately everyone's dishes got mixed up because there's just Sean and I in this huge trough sink and it ended up being a mess. So like we adjusted plans. But then if you are in toilet duty, you had to do that. You had to clean up your locker and foot space. You had to fill up your water and make sure that you were good there. So there's all these like things to do. Yeah. But I had us doing the dam repel from 8 to 430 that day. And then we kind of thought we were done. Yeah. For the day. But then we weren't.

So then they call us back out. It's six o'clock, which is a late activity. Oh, yeah, because it was like sunset. Yeah. Oh. And we go not that far of a drive. It was right off base camp. And there's like this little riverbed that was mostly dried up, but there's still, it was like the only green strip in the whole village because that's the only water really that happens or that there's around. And so there's like all these palm trees and they give us this briefing.

We go down in the trees and they're like, all right, sometimes you have to covertly enter an urban space. and find the cell tower and bomb it. Yes. That was it. And so they broke us in with the teams. We elected the leaders. And then our team started coming up. We thought we knew.

We thought we knew what we were getting into. We were like, all right, they're going to have us crawl through. We thought, like, you know, like the four foot diameter black type of tunnels you see on the side of the road. We're like, we're going to be crawling through these probably. We'll have hand signals. And if we get split up, then, you know, we'll like have just. make sure no one gets left behind we had this whole system we thought we were gonna have to like plant something and leave and then that's when we would get like caught and we were boy were we

surprised yeah when the whole thing went nobody on nobody had could ever have guessed this is the first time they ever did something like this on the show too yeah yeah it's like everybody on the cast by now we've all talked through the other seasons and all the challenges that they did they've never done a crawling tunnel exercise ever so we We never even imagined. Yeah. And this is a longer one. This was like a 30 minute challenge per group because we were all tracking how long people

were gone. And so we were like, we're going to be running for a long time. Again, we hadn't done like a lot of physical challenge that day. So we just didn't know what to expect. So then they would call your team. You guys go first since you were first. We were the last ones to go. Okay.

So, dude. First of all, we're down there in the riverbed when we hear, oh, Johnny didn't make it. I could not believe it. So there was like the camera people, you kind of, they all got somber. Yeah. And then. Because everyone loved Johnny. Johnny is amazing.

Yeah, we love Johnny. And then obviously our ears perked up and like we were trying to really eave drop. And we heard Johnny like pretty much it was like Johnny and a head shake. And then we're like, oh no, did he get hurt? Like it seemed like he got hurt. Everyone thought he got hurt because there's no way Johnny was tapping out either. And then we see the car go go by. with Johnny in it and he kind of waves goodbye and that was it don't see Johnny again and the whole

atmosphere changed we're like what the frick are we about to do that was kind of what hit us but then it was also like Johnny was the center of everyone like it was Johnny yeah yeah we're all pumped like yes so then that happens car goes by and then a couple minutes go by and they call our team yeah like all right next team up we're like oh wait what I thought yeah Johnny got hurt maybe they had to change some things, but no, we're just rolling back into it. We go up this riverbed that was steep for like 10 yards, probably get on this road that Johnny had just driven down. We start jogging. Foxy's there. It's like, all right, you guys got to stay calm. Here's a grenade. He's like, don't lose it. You're like, I don't know what this is for really, but I

shoved it in my pocket. Thank goodness because I was like going to hook it on my belt loop. And then you're running and he's like, get out, get down, get down, get down. And there's explosions. You go down and it's this open gutter. It's like wide. It's like three foot wide, not bad. You're running, run and you're like, sick. This is kind of cool. And then you go, yeah, you go under like this bridge and it's maybe like four feet wide of a quote unquote tunnel. And then you're like, okay, crazy. That was, I'm sure that's going to look cool on camera. I was ducking and running, whatever. And then explosions going off. And then all of a sudden there's a tunnel ahead of you. You drop down. You're crawling. It's still a big tunnel. It's probably three by

three and there's sandbags kind of like in the corners and you're crawling you can come around some like steep turns or like some real and right now what and you're saying it's it's decently big you're pretty much on your hands and knees pretty much yeah down a little bit more than hands and knees but like you have room to like move super manageable yes not bad no freakouts coming to mine here. And then it does, you start noticing it's smaller. You're taking all these like really crazy corners. Yeah. Like 90 degree turns. And then you go up and over some sandbags. And then all of a sudden like, I was crawling in my canteen, which is on my hip, starts getting caught. And I was like, oh, that's not good and annoying. And then you come up on the water. And you're like, okay,

what is this? There's like rebars. Yeah. And then water. And you had a cage. You had like, an inch or two to have breathing space as you're crawling upside down cue stopped and kind of like that felt like the one point where they kind of yeah they're like you're like you need to listen yeah yeah yeah but you're still moving fast too so you're as you're crawling through those initial tunnels i realize i'm in the front of the line we had three people behind us and like they're all yelling and hooting and hollering so you're trying to move fast and it's urgent crawl through the water and honestly it was so amazing because the water was chilly

and it was 115 degrees that day. It was like up over your ears so the audio sensory stuff wasn't there. It was quieter. And you were just getting all this dirt off your face because man, you're on your hands and knees crawling in dirt. You're sucking in the Saharan dirt. So it was really nice.

You get out of there and I think there was no tunnels for 10 yards. So you're like, wow, that was great. I'm on my hands and knees. everyone goes through the water you had to wait for them and then they're like get back in it so you go back to crawling

and now it gets way smaller and you're sucking in dirt now you're army crawling your face is on the side like you're dragging your cheek so you're just breathing in dirt your lungs are burning you're stressed out

and all of a sudden you get stuck you get freaking stuck it gets smaller and smaller and smaller until you can't move anymore I'll never forget that feeling of like I don't know if I've ever felt panic before but that was it yeah that was I almost shoved my way out of that tunnel in any way possible almost like started screaming irrationally but I had to take a pause and just think okay what's the best

thing to do in the situation you just take a breath you're like we got to crawl backwards so then obviously as a line leader you have to wait for everybody and your your cheek is still on the dirt so every inhale hurts and you're like get the freak out and you're on the on the brink of panic so then they're crawling back the mark behind me was thank goodness walking me through like hey you got to wiggle this way or that way so like guiding because you it's so tight you can't like see your feet and my canteen kept getting stuck so on the sandbags you're like a freak I want to get out but I can't move ultimately you get out of tunnel and it's like a day i don't even know what happened at that point we we ended up crawling over a ridge and then we had to throw this grenade and then we ran and then

it was like it was over yeah yeah at that point it didn't matter and then i'll never get sitting down and i can't believe they didn't throw people to see show people throwing up but i was literally dry heaving yeah dirt yeah and it was so miserable from a mental standpoint from a physical standpoint the whole thing I was so glad that that challenge was over what's your story I mean same thing

they tell us to go we're running I first I'll never forget when we jumped down into this like gutter Cody it was me Cody Brown and Nick Young Cody jumped on top of me that's crazy

literally like on accident but shoved me into the gutter and jumped on top of me. I thought I broke like one of my arms. Yeah, you really thought you were hurt. I thought it was hurt. It's all happening so quickly. Remember, it's chaotic. You're getting yelled at explosions, whatever. Just got shut, whatever. We go running, start going through the tunnels. The first tunnel, it's like you're moving so quick that your brain doesn't have time to keep up. If you process, I think like you saw Brianna and Gia, if you process quickly enough what's happening, then you panic.

Then it's like, wait, am I actually getting this tunnel? Do I want to get in this tunnel? This freaks me out. I'm scared of this. I kind of shut that off and I was just following Cody. And I'm not smart enough to process in the moment. So thank goodness. I don't.

Well, and stop. I just shut it off. So I wasn't trying to like take it in. So it's Cody and then me and then Nick. We get around some of like the big corners. Nick is starting to panic. I'm just screaming at him saying, it's okay. It's okay.

It's okay. I'm here. And he was having. a hard time getting around the corners. At one point we get through a tunnel and I had to turn around and kind of go back in and I grabbed his hands. Cody pulled me while I pulled Nick. That's crazy.

I can't believe Nick made it through even the initial tunnels. Yeah. And then it was as we got to the water, that's when they're yelling at us to switch. They said, Sean, you go in front. You're the leader now. So they like pushed Cody to second. And that's when I got to like the water and the grate. And I think the only thing that I was thinking is I was so, so happy to see a DSQ.

It almost like made me feel safe. And like I wasn't, we weren't alone in the tunnels. And it was like, okay, they're here and they're like with us. Yeah. Because I remember feeling like a deer in a headlights just like staring at him. And he's talking and he's like, you get down, you turn over, you keep your mouth up. And I was, to me, that was comfort. It was comforting to know that like you weren't just in tunnels.

like yeah subconsciously almost like in the tunnels you felt like you were having to decide everything on your own and then all of a sudden you see the pro yeah and they're telling exactly exactly what to do so for me it was like an easy thing to do the water because I was like he's right there with me and he stayed on top of the grate the whole time and I remember just looking at him like literally bug-eyed just like okay yeah so we get through that I'm now in the front we go through the final one where like I'm crawling and I get stuck but now I have Cody and Nick behind me two very large guys so it took them a very long time to back out and Nick was panicking I don't remember feeling like I was panicking then but I was just

like get out so we I'm in disbelief or I was in disbelief that Nick made it that far which it is amazing but as I'm thinking about it since the tunnels do get smaller smaller gradually it was the person in the front of line got the worst of it yeah and that was ubiquitously over the cross the four teams the leader was the most traumatized because then the tunnel is not as small in the front as it is even six feet back or Nick was probably 20 feet behind you and I got I got close to making it through dude you're shoveling your head through they just kept telling me to oh dude no thank you at some point I was like not listening to him I got close to where like my my head was stuck that was the one point where I was like I don't care what they say I'm getting out of this tunnel so

then we back out we finish and then we go running off to the group where the whole group was and all I remember is like running up to the group and it being so somber everyone's quiet everyone's covered in mud and dirt and it it was almost like I was fine up until then I made it through I didn't think about it I wasn't panicking in the moment I wasn't thinking like I hate this I'm scared of this I was just like get it done but it was like as soon as I got to that group and I saw you it was just like a motion overload i started hyperventilating you were shaking i was shaking i was crying and i've only seen you like that maybe twice in my life i do feel like if you weren't there like if we weren't on the show together i do feel like i would have been able to

compartmentalize that the whole show yeah but i also think it made for a healthier experience for both you and I to be able to decom, like to offload that emotion and not keep pushing it down. Because when I saw you, it was just like I literally felt like I was having a panic attack. Like I couldn't breathe. I was so scared. But it was weird because it was over. I didn't think I was going to see you again. I thought that that was so, I barely made it out by the skin of my teeth.

And I was like, Sean's with Cody and Nick. Nick's not going to make it through. no way physically that he could he's six foot seven yeah and i don't know if i'm going to see you again and that's the one thing for me that like yeah i just thought uh i was so relieved to see your face when you run up the road that like you didn't tap out because i almost tapped out and i was like sean's tough but that was miserable and then we had a moment there hugging by the way did you see when you're crawling through the tunnel i remember looking up like i was able to move my head and look up a little bit and I see a camera there with a guy, did you, does that come to

mind at all? Literally the slot you're looking at to crawl through ended up being like this big and I looked up and I just see one of the cameras right there. And I see that I look at the cameraman's face and it looked like he thought I was supposed to crawl through the tunnel too. So that's why I was like, I kept shoving through. Oh, that's crazy. And then yeah, they're like, what? No, you got it. I will say it was after that. Randall was really rocked. He said when he saw me go to you, he actually had to walk away because he was in the same place and needing that offloading. Yeah. But we all loaded up. And I think that was the very first time as a full cast, we were rocked. Like everyone was quiet and just like, what?

But the frick just happened. And the DS were also, I think, alarmed at how traumatic that was. Yeah. Because they talked in the debrief. They like said who passed, who failed, whatever. And you could see it in their face that they were like, every other challenge, they were like yelling at us. You could have done better.

That one, they're like, that was hard. And I will say every other challenge, they were upping the ante with like, tough love almost and this was the first and maybe the only challenge where they were like I it was almost like I'm here just keep pushing totally different vibe like they were helping you totally different vibe oh so now no you got it are you sure yeah I was to say we ended up going back to base camp had dinner at like nine o'clock so I had tunnels from six to nine and then I think we were done for the day after dinner yeah uh it was day four i sat down and had my interview that you see yeah with the bag of room had at like 10 30 that night yeah and then that was it i think they

had rocked our world enough but i will say this was a turning point in the show in the whole course yeah where things start becoming very psychological it's not just like can you get through the physical challenge because like everything up until this point has been there have been fear-based things with heights with water but it was all very physical things are very physical still in going forward but this the psychological element really gets turned up but keep in mind too the dirt that we breathe in for that whole challenge comes into play i think for the next two days yeah and really had a negative effect on a lot of people i saw a couple of comments I wanted to address. We're going to do a live Q&A one of these days. Also, our interview,

the group interview we did with the Nashville-based cast should go live this week, I think, which will be fun. hilarious conversation. Great times. But two questions that I saw that are quick hitters is people want to know when this was filmed, because some people thought it was filmed in 24. This was filmed in June, like the first two weeks of June 2025. Yeah. In Morocco. The other comment I saw was someone thought this was all scripted and like made up.

And it's not. That's why we want to do these behind the scenes to show you what the actual experience was like and like say, hey, yeah, we actually, we took a two-hour car ride. That was great. Or that was actually freaking miserable and they didn't show it on day one that relay race was insane. and the tunnels were like disturbingly hard. I will say this.

I said this, I think in the first episode that we did. To answer the scripted question, it is not scripted at all. To describe it better, we are doing a military course run by actual military men. Think of like hell week or buds for the Navy SEALs. Like we are just,

we have opted in to do a, if you make it the whole way like I think it was 10 days a 10 day course that just so happens to be filmed it's not a TV show where they're having us do challenges correct yeah and it just so happens to be filmed by cameras that are just like randomly placed around base um there's no TV show luxury to it were there any quick hit questions that you've seen um it was good times that was a good discussion i think the very end of the episode i'm sitting sitting on your lap on the cot and we're just like we tried not to have any like pda like that the whole show but after that challenge we were both in bad shapes checking in on each other that was also when a couple of the people said even getting in their sleeping bag was too close to them being in the tunnels that they couldn't even sleep that night that was that was serious i don't know how to describe it Other than it was serious.

But it was fun to see what that experience was actually like for other people. Like Brianna and G. Best, maybe the best episode is next week? I wish they showed Brianna more and her freak out and G more. They showed a bit of Gia's. It makes sense why they showed the most of Johnny though. I mean. Yeah.

But next week. Yeah. Get ready. Stay tuned for live. streams, group interviews, and more special forces episodes. The majority, the largest number of people to leave at one time, leave next week. That's right. That's all we got.

I'm Andrew. I'm sure. And remember, when the team wins, you win. Okay. Have a good day.