Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew - 308 | Unfiltered Marriage Advice (From Real Questions You Sent In)

Episode Date: April 22, 2026

We asked you to send in your real, unfiltered marriage questions… and you delivered.In this episode, we’re diving into everything—arguments that keep coming back, intimacy struggles no one talks about, parenting differences, and more. Nothing scripted, nothing off-limits.If you’ve ever thought “is this normal in marriage?”—this one’s for you! Love you guys! Shawn & Andrew BranchBasics: If you’re grabbing the Premium Starter Kit, you can still get 15% off at BranchBasics.com with our code EASTFAM. Good Wipes: For more details, head to www.https://goodwipes.com/EASTFAM to snag a free pack of goodwipes from Walmart. TOUR! June 7th — Nashville June 8th — Philadelphia June 9th — New York June 10th — Chicago Get your tickets here! https://thecouragetocommit.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up, everybody? Welcome back to Coupled Things. We're Sean and Andrew. Today is the part two of the live stream question and answer that we started two weeks ago. That's right, two weeks ago. And we loved the question so much. We wanted to make sure we got through them all. So we are here to finish out the questions. In the meantime, a little recap for you in the past two weeks. Since we started this, it was our 10-year anniversary.

Good job, babe. Good job. Way to stay married. We are doing it big. We are staying married. Yes. We're actually having a great time. Yeah, it's fantastic.

I would highly recommend it. And we went down to Cancun, Mexico. I stayed at Secrets, say the word? Moshe. Moshe. Mochet. And it was a really fun time, three days together, where we just sat and reflected and remembered and dreamed together and asked questions.

I think you probably got annoyed with me with all the questions that we were. we were going through. But I feel like... I think it was 100% the opposite. I think verbatim, you were the guy who said, I don't want to talk anymore. Remember that? So way to put that on me. I came in with a whole list of exercises for us to do. And then I probably should have just chilled out. We did enjoy our time. We took a nap on the beach. We did. And had a lot of delicious food. And got to spend time together. So... It did.

It was really fun. We are currently filming this episode on a Monday, and the Monday is Mondaying. We are being slapped across the face with five million things to do and not nearly enough time. But we wanted to do a part two to this series because we had so many great questions from you all that you submitted during the live stream. More came in through Instagram, and we were like, let's just do a marriage Q&A since we're still in the anniversary phase here. and maybe we get to answer some questions. So let's do it. Shall we?

Let's do it. Also, I do love, it seems like one of the new favorite podcasts we have done to date is the John Deloney podcast. People love that one. And I think we should do it again. I think we should have a John Deloney series. All right. What would the second one be? Just more hot takes.

Here's our problems. What do you think? One thing I was thinking about with that episode that I phrased, poorly. I phrase a lot of things poorly, just like I just did. I'm saying. Fries a lot of things poorly. But the happiness question, I'm not here to make you happy. It's kind of rooted in that there's a God-shaped whole, like the ultimate happiness I can have very little to do with, you know? So that's... But I think the root of the entire issue from day one, how are we here, guys, is the fact that you have been so adamant about.

the line, I am not here to make you happy. It hasn't been until literally the second that you've ever said, oh, maybe I said that too harshly. Thank you for your patience. I think that's actually the whole issue. I didn't. In 15 years of being together, that's thing. You should have just said that.

That would have been so helpful. I try. I got a pretty good giggle out of the comments of that video. Some people were like, wow, that was so helpful, and I learned so much. Love that. Some people were like, wow, Andrew's a big doofist. And I totally get that agreed. Some people were like, Andrew, your processing time is like 10 years.

Yeah. So, you know, some people aren't bored with it like me. Maybe the scheduling thing will happen in like another 10 years. Yeah, give me some time. Stay tuned. Which brings us to our first question today. Someone asked, who is the most stubborn? That's not on this list.

That's like 10 questions down. But it is on the list? It is on the list. Oh, interesting. Okay. You just wanted to bring that one out? I just thought it was a nice transition into our Q&A. We are equally, which is terrifying, as stubborn.

I used to think it was just you. And then I realize I'm all. My gosh. I'm also pretty stubborn. Oh, man. The hardest part sometimes about we married equally competitive, equally stubborn, equally driven, you know, we're equal that way.

That is the hardest part about our marriage because if we get into an argument, man, am I going to come at you and make sure my point gets across but so are you? There ain't no back and down from anybody. I think there's a lot of good to that because I don't think we have ever experienced

a long duration of letting unspoken feelings fester, you know? No. For the most part, we've respectfully shared and been honest with our with our positions which have been great it is i i'm i'm also super grateful that despite the stubbornness we're able to soften a lot and say okay let me have patience here let's work for compromise and i think it's really benefited us so yeah yeah don't you what would you say who's more stubborn i used to think it was for sure you but now i realize that now i realize i'm

stubborn my own ways. We are stubborn in different ways. But yeah, I don't know. I'm trying to differentiate between passionate, like, or competitive, like the word you just used. We just got back from a medical check-in. And Sean, I walk into this room, she had already done her, like, body scan. And she was wanting to compete against metrics for body mass. Like you wouldn't have done that on your own? I'm not saying. I'm not saying I wouldn't. I was saying the reality is you did it. The second she handed me a grip strength test, I was like,

Andrew's going to compete on this. He didn't know, what did you get? I was just saying the reality is you did it this morning. That's what happened. What was the one line you said leading into this podcast before we press record? You said, there's just some things I'm not going to budge on. And then you had to say.

I had to. Great job. Great job. You also. I had to. I was like, I literally have to do it. Well, neither am I. Because you know what wasn't said in the right tone?

Well, just get ready. Okay. Here's my thing. I have a tone issue, but you have a clapback issue. You have a clap back issue. I do. You're like, you don't have to say. Mine in some ways is subconscious.

Yeah, that's, kudos to me. You're just conscious. Mine is 100% conscious. I know. The scary part is you say these words and you have no clue. You're like, yeah, that sounded good to me. Oh, no. I'm going to say that again.

I'm going to double down on that. Back to Andrew Bita Dufus. See earlier. I'm already on board with that. Okay, next question. I think this one is from Melissa. Top one. Go for it.

Yeah. Not a question, but keep dating weekly. We are in year 29 and has kept the wonder and memories so strong. Great job. I love that. It is really fun. I was just looking through all our pictures of the days of our anniversary over the years. And it's like, man, I want more of these.

It's so fun. We've built this portfolio of a life together. And it's so fun. And by that, I mean, like, memories on memories, on memories, and freaking inside jokes and get a laugh at each other like this. It's the best. Yeah. Anyway.

Next one it says if trust has ever been broken how did you rebuild in any relationship your trust is broken always small things big things always it's just part of life and I think how you rebuild it is be forthcoming apologize own your actions and be a person of your word and say I'm going to try my hardest to make sure that never happens again It's such a fragile thing that can be taken advantage of trust. I know. There's only a small number of times, I feel like we have me, really, really hurt you,

like in big things, stressed, right? I'm saying. Thank goodness not existential things. But in my mind, it's almost like the, I'm making an analogy to the dam where I've there's one leak in it and you don't take care of that quick, it comes a huge issue. So I think the way you rebuild trust is like, one, the person who has been hurt

is in this position where they have to like have the grace to say, I'll give you another chance and like wipe the slate clean. But the person who has broken the trust must fully come clean and adjust course and, you know, have the hard conversations and do the hard things to make it so that they're not taking advantage of the clean slate again. Otherwise, it's this spiraling thing that can turn a little leak in the dam wall into the whole thing eroding and exploding. Agreed. So it's like, oh boy. But when you are operating in a place of trust,

which I'm so glad that we do and we have for 99. 9% of our relationship, it's magic because there's like this, it's almost like this unspoken, understood trust. And it's like, you're ham and egg in it. And there's like so many, it makes work and home life and parenting so much more efficient when you're able to like, hey, I got to go, I got to stay late at work for an extra two hours. Hey, no problem. Great. I got the kids. Don't worry about it. And it's not a trust thing, you know. All right, real talk. We've been doing a little spring cleaning lately. A lot.

And I feel like we've officially entered that phase of life where cleaning products actually matter to us. Wait, but actually, though, especially with kids and pets in the house, I have started paying way more attention to what we're using to clean. Like, these are the counters we prep food on. The floors, the kids crawl on. It just makes sense when you think about it. That's right.

And that's why we've been using branch basics. Honestly, I was surprised by how simple it is. Their premium starter kit comes with this one powerful concentrate that you can use for basically everything. Yes. That has been my favorite part. I use it for laundry, counters, bathrooms, and even rinsing produce. And I love that it's made from plant and mineral-based ingredients,

so I feel really good knowing it's safe for our whole family. And it's fragrance-free too, which has been huge for us. There's no mystery smells, no weird chemicals. I don't know about you. Anytime I have this lingering smell that's everywhere, I get a headache from it. I know. And we don't have that problem with this. So it's definitely earned a permanent spot in our cleaning routine.

And honestly, it's replacing a lot of our old stuff. If you're doing any kind of spring cleaning right now, this is such a good time to rethink what you're actually bringing into your home. Once you start using something cleaner and simpler, it's really hard to go back. And here's the good news. Branch Basics is now available everywhere you shop at Target, Target.com, Amazon, and of course, branchbasics.com. Tossing the toxins has never been more convenient. And if you're grabbing the premium starter kit, you can still get 15% off at branchbasics.com with our code Eastpham.

Just use code Eastfam for 15% off the premium starter kit at Branchbasics.com. And after you purchase, when they ask you where you heard about them, make sure to mention a couple things. Or, hey, I'm going to, whatever. But I will say, too, it's an active choice. I mean, there are so many examples here that we could give where it's like you've just chosen not to give grace or wipe the slate clean and try again. So like, if that happens, it's not possible to rebuild. If you don't have two active parties willing to constantly be giving grace and starting over, and rebuilding, then it doesn't work.

But I do think it is an active choice every day to give your spouse the benefit of the doubt and say, I trust them. If something had happened, they didn't do it intentionally. You know, you have to, which it's very difficult. The word trustworthiness comes to mind and you must over a million little actions prove your trustworthiness. But the unfortunate thing is like you could. go 10 years of marriage and be trustworthy and then in one month ruin that and it's like that's what's what

makes it so fragile but yeah it is a choice that must be stewarded wisely on both sides like it's a responsibility I like that question I think about trust often and I'm and just again we are we have a lot to be thankful for we've worked really hard yeah next question How do you handle conflict when one person feels very strongly and another feels attacked? Ooh. Oh, can I just preface all this by saying we're not like counselors? We're not licensed professionals. I did go back and get a doctor in a psychology for whatever that's worth because I was like,

people are asking these questions and maybe they're listening to what we have to say. So what's the best way I could freaking navigate that. You have to use it on your wife. Yeah. I want to do that. That would be crazy. But we're not counselors. So like take this with a grain of salt

and this is just how Sean and I think about things. How do you handle conflict one person feels strongly? Other person feels attacked. You have to openly share that. Andrew and I have tried to get really good at openly expressing and saying in an argument, you know,

this has gone too far or I'm starting to feel like it's less of a conversation, it's more of an attack or whatever, but communicate and you have to respond. the boundary like you have to respect when someone says that and back down take a break try a different approach but if someone feels attacked they can't listen at all this goes back to the trust thing too though where it's like hey we see we have two different perspectives which i have grown over the last

i don't know 18 months of our marriage to like so appreciate oh my gosh what if we didn't have two perspectives. Now we're, now we're both like a little too, I don't know, reckless with our schedules or we're both too ambitious with our work. That would not be good. So to have a little balance of like, hey, you're working too much or hey, maybe we should adjust our parenting course here is really important. But in order to not feel attacked, it's like a trust thing of, oh, this person has a different perspective. It's not a personal thing. They're not trying to undermine me or prevent me from, I don't know, growing or doing or whatever. um we just had this we had the same conversation twice that it was almost this situation and i feel

like we learned a lot through it i'm thankful we didn't have those type of conversations like i don't know when we're dating because they're tough to navigate through but it's like this uh all we're all in favor of taking breaks which is not always easy to even do that we're like i want to take a break and another person's like no why are you bailing on this conversation it can get heated um but But this constant reminding each other of, hey, we're on the same team and I love you. I'm just trying to understand is one thing that helps. And then compromise is another thing that helps to make sure that the other person knows. Like, it's not this obscure hill that you're willing to die on.

Those are my thoughts. Anyway. Next question. You got it. How do you handle friends being the opposite sex? I think we have, this has changed for us over time. I'm curious what you're about to say. How has it changed?

I think early on in our marriage and relationship, we both had a lot of friends of the opposite sex that we spent time with, like one-on-one time. Did I? Yeah. Yeah, carry on. I did? Yeah.

Say the name behind the hand. Okay. Okay, fair. I'm on board. Keep going. Keep going. I'm not going to rebuttal. If you feel it,

if you feel like that was the case, then go on. Yeah. It's true. Anyways, I feel like deeper into marriage we have spent close to zero one-on-one time with

the opposite sex. Has that been intentional or how would you describe why that's been the case? Like we don't have some explicit policy to say. No. But in the back of my mind, I feel like it doesn't serve you. It like doesn't, I don't know. My take on it is this. We don't have any policy of any time.

Right. We don't. But that's why I'm curious how you would think about how it's changed. I've always been skeptical of like, oh, we're just platonically friends. Usually there's one person who's a little more. Oh, really? 100% in that case. 100% still applies to that case.

You've read the notes. And you still went to coffee. Are you saying? I did. Many times. Okay. Well, then. Yeah.

But there was not platonic. Okay. Anyway. So I think of the phrase... You played it off as platonic back then in the day. You were like, this is 100% platonic. No, if I'm on the receiving end of the non-plotonic, what do you want me?

Like, no, that's fair. You're making good points. And I am receiving. So I... Hear me out. I'll give you an example. Can I give you a different example? Yeah.

Because this is speaking in code. We had a friend. come into town the other day who we haven't seen in a while mutual friend both of us guy and he was like I'm in town I would love to see you guys I responded to the group text quickly I was like come over for dinner

we would love to see you and then very quickly realized frick Andrew's not home then I was like now it feels kind of strange I don't need like even though it's a friend we have somewhat of a policy in our house

of like we try not to have any gray lines for our kids we don't want anything to be confusing to them we like things very black and white especially at this age and in my mind I was like that's a gray line they don't know this guy they've never met him because he's a friend from out of out of state it doesn't make it's not like

their uncle rai rai is coming over you know who comes over three times a week but still never alone Which is also like. Still never alone. Yeah. But it's not like a, someone who's really familiar to the kids,

who they understand the relationship. And I was like, for daddy to go out of town and then another guy to come in, I was like, that feels gray. That doesn't honor our marriage or family. And so I was like,

eh, we're probably going to have to reschedule a different time. Okay. Can we talk about something that feels kind of random? But once you make the switch, you realize how big of difference it makes. Oh, boy, where's he's going?

bathroom routines, stay with me here because I feel like we spend so much time talking about gut health and feeling good, but no one really talks about how good it feels to just feel clean. Wow, all right. That's actually so true. And I'll admit, once we started using good wipes, regular toilet paper just didn't feel like enough anymore. Exactly. They clean so much better. And they're super soft and gentle, which I really appreciate. They're made for sensitive skin, dermatologist tested, and I have never had any irritation with them, which is huge. And they're actually flushable, which was important to us. They're made with plant-based fiber, so they break down easily.

And you don't have to worry like you do with other wipes. I also love that they have different scent options, but honestly, we've been loving the fragrance-free ones lately, and they just feel really clean and really simple. Okay, and this is a fun part. They just launched a new Good Wipes and Olippes and Cream collab, and it's a Walmart exclusive, which honestly feels like the most on-brand collab ever. For real. Never thought those worlds would collide.

So if you've been thinking about upgrading your bathroom routine, this is your sign. Grab the new peaches and cream or any other good wipes at Walmart so you can see how much better it feels to actually feel clean. And here's the best part if you buy any two packs of good wipes at Walmart or Walmart.com, you can text them your receipt and get reimbursed almost immediately for one of them. For more details, head to goodwipes.com forward slash e-fam. Again, that's goodwipes.com forward slash e-fam to snag a free pack of good wipes from Walmart. Trust us. Once you try them, it's really hard to go back. Here's the thing. It's, this is almost like a paradox of the trust thing.

I know. It is because I trust you so much, it is so unnecessary because I'm like, I'm not worried about any foul play going on. But I also appreciate it in like a, in a way, like the long term appreciation of like, that's the type of stuff that you have done that has made it so unquestioning my trust for you. I'm saying. Yeah. It's not like an expectation of mine.

It's not a explicit policy, but it's one of those many different decisions. I remember dating. We talked about this often. I would say a lot of more your inner circle back in the day was males when we were dating. And even when we were like dating having conversations, you would, you would not really talk about, hey, Joe did this. And Jim, like, and I went and did this. or you wouldn't talk about your ex-boyfriends, like in a, I don't know, a reckless way.

And it was, it's that type of stuff where it's like, oh, hey, well, I want you to feel free sharing, but I also appreciate you not, like, making me feel weird about all the exes or whatever. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, it's a little, it's kind of paradoxical, I feel like. But I also think we have really benefited from, and I think not everyone has this,

privilege, but we spend all day together. Yeah. And we love spending all day together, most of the time. But like we work together, parent together. We, I don't know, we do fitness and challenges together. We learn together. We do so much stuff together that like there has, that's how we've approached social situations, you know, and that's not everyone.

Like some people go out to work and then they're in the office. with whoever. And I think of the phrase to know us to love, which is why I've been skeptical of platonic relationships is my interpretation of that, which is

if you're getting to know someone so well, you're gonna, like, there is beauty at all of us. You know what I'm saying? There's like so many

wonderful characteristics. Oh my gosh, they're so funny. Oh, I love their perspective. They're so curious. They say, whatever it is.

They're like, frankly, one person, i.e. me as your spouse, I can't scratch all of those itches for you. I'm not going to be the funniest person you've ever met. I'm not going to be the smartest. I'm not going to be the strongest.

I'm not going to be the coolest. I'm not going to be the style most fashionable. Thank you. But like, if you got to know someone else in a deep way, you'd be like, oh, I love the, man, they're made in God's image. We all are. There's so many beautiful traits. You start to love that.

And then it's like this, I think it's just a day, interest path to walk down to spend so much time with someone that you're getting to know them really uniquely and then yeah that whole thing but anyway I appreciate you I appreciate you I don't think we answered that question we don't have any technical parameters boundaries rules on our relationship but we hang with people we hang collectively with couples and that's pretty much how we hang with friends of the opposite sex yeah and it's a blast we have so much fun with Ryan and M.G Yeah. Next question.

How do you... You got it. You got it. How do you do with in-laws? Navigating that with my spouse has been hard. This is one area where getting to know the in-laws means you get to love them. And I have gotten to know your parents so well. We see them five days a week.

Yep. And we have our little boundaries carved out, which has been super helpful. And I love spending time with Sean's mom. I think she's hilarious. her dad is an absolute boss. I could not do what we do without his help. He's phenomenal and so generous. And that doesn't mean they're perfect.

But boy, do they have wonderful qualities about them. I think a lot of people's tendency is to keep a distance from in-laws because I don't know them. They're intimidating. We don't see eye to eye. IDI. I think the, the way Andrew and I have approached in-laws on both sides is to like dive head first and to like

truly get to know and truly like spend time and because both of our families mean so much to us. So I would just say whether you agree or not or whether you have the same belief system or operating system, the more you actually get to know your in-laws, whether that changes if you still believe in the same thing or not, I think that helps everybody. But I feel like I seem to see the most issue when people are like, no, I'm not going there. Yeah, generally that attitude of like, absolutely not.

Yeah. It's rarely helpful, I feel like. But we do have not scheduled, but probably three times a year where we'll have sit down meetings with your parents about serious topics, whether it be, hey, we disagree about this with parenting. So let's talk about how to how to handle this well. And that has that has really

helped us anytime emotions have gotten heightened to just step away and actually have a productive conversation. Like we talk about this with our marriage, trying not to resolve things in the heat of the battle or like come with the game plan when you're so emotionally worked up. It's like, okay, let's let's acknowledge this. The emotions are real and based on something. So let's like come up with the scheduled time. Hey, tomorrow at 9 a.m., can we sit down for a half hour and work through this so that we're not just screaming at each other? Yeah.

It seems to be way more productive and appreciated. So it's been good. How do you navigate different parenting styles? You think we have different parenting styles? Yeah. Do you? Yeah. I think, again, it sounds like we're beating dead horse there, but just like communicate.

Why do you feel so strongly about it? Where does it come from? Why this over yours? Like, you have to like help the other person understand your why. Once you both understand your why's, then you can kind of come to a compromise, I think. Yeah. And I'm really grateful to have a teammate and a partner in parenting because without the, again, added perspective, then you start moving towards the extreme

that you're naturally wired to. And so I think, I mean, this takes time. This probably took us, sorry, is still taking us time. We're still working on it, but three years probably, yeah, after Jet, our second kid was born to appreciate, like, man, it's really, and we have a boy and a girl,

which I'm so thankful for too, because then I get a see. see your girl mom traits flourish. And I got to see you, your boy mom traits flourish. And you're gonna see my boy dad traits flourish. And I would say mostly have coached me in the girl dad traits. I am naturally super loud, super rowdy, adventurous,

and hectic and like messy and our girl. You're the perfect boy dad. Our daughter doesn't always appreciate that. So Sean will say things like, hey. You have drastically changed your approach to Drew, and it is paying itself back tenfold. It is freaking gold right now. But this is like you see everything, again, because we spend all the time together. You see when I responded just slightly too loud, or I was like a little too quick or I rushed her too much.

And you're able to like pull me aside and say, hey, what about this? Anytime she, anytime you're tickling her and she says stop, act like it's a game. Yeah. That's like so helpful. Yeah. Because it's all those tiny little moments. And vice versa. Like you've been able to coach me with a boy to know like what's appropriate and what's,

how much rambunctiousness is too much and not enough. And like, yeah. Our general strategy with Sean is like, it seems like your mom. more prone to say no don't do that with our boys stop and my strategy has been like a yes distraction yes but funneled it's funneled differently yeah so yeah I'm grateful it is frustrating at first but then when you realize that my gosh we're better off with the gentle perspective and the rowdy perspective the kids I think have really benefited from what I would say are two very different parenting styles with you and I.

All right. Next, pet peeves you have with one another and how do you deal with him 10 years in? Sean, okay. Thanks for asking. I'm thinking about this. She'll, like, clean the kitchen. And I put things around the sink, so like dishes, cups, whatever. I'll like put them on the border of the sink. And they'll be dirty. That is not clean to Sean. What is clean to Sean is just putting those in the zinc and then they're just piled up. In my mind, it makes it easier to clean and more, I'm more inspired to clean when I see it all up there. Sean just buries in the sink. She also, there's a million half-drinking bubblies around our house, the sparkling waters, which I also love. Maybe you just love to taste the different type of flavors. But I just always, I just always,

I only like it when my favorite sparkling water is when it's ice cold. So if it starts to get warm, I'm done. Interesting. That's what it is? That's what it is. Look at us. We're learning about each other. You should just drink it quicker.

How about that? But then when they're half drink and she wants to clean them up, she doesn't empty them out and throw them away. She just empties them out face down in the drain. Yep. And then leaves them there. So those are a couple of things. Should we just now?

Share my list. I have none. How bad? I've told you the incredibly stinky, damp socks that have been removed from your feet and set on my kitchen counter or the dining table or the kids play table or the bathroom or the bathroom sink. They're always like placed up. I do put them on the bathroom sink occasionally. It's because I put them back on, which is a whole other issue.

That's concerning. I feel bad for your feet. I agree. My thing is, socks aren't dirty until they're disgusting dirty. If I've just, like, worn them for, you know, a couple hours, doesn't hit the threshold.

Why don't try keeping them fresh? I need to get new socks, speaking of which. You'll go on like a hiking trip for a week and you'll take a pair of socks. No, that's not true. Okay, maybe too. In that scenario, there's always dust to get into the socks. So I'm like, if I'm going to pack more of anything, it's going to be socks.

I have a strategy around it. I still think we need to invest in some high technology socks for you. The problem is all this like anti-sweat type stuff is the worst smelling. Let's try a different one. I'm here for it. Let's answer two more. No, I have another pet peeve. Oh, oh, oh.

Just one more. When you wake up in the morning. After snoring all night. last night was on a different level I was actually concerned for your health I was like I think as unsex as it is we're gonna get you a CPAP machine

because last night you had mouth tape on you were flopping around like a fish at one point you like almost took me out with a pillow that's crazy I do that I don't remember any of it and then I was like I think he just needs to go to the guest room and then you were mad because I was like hey I think you should move

and you were like fourth time I did not you stop off like a little girl. I was like, good night. You're killing me today, girl. Anyways, you'll wake up in the morning and you do this

and you hawkalugi in the sink but not in the drain, like on the side. I try. And you just leave it there. And when I, when that thing hardens

and I'm left, to try to clean it out. I'm like, oh my gosh. Oh, that's another pet people of mine. Sean makes delicious smoothies. I will add their delicious smoothies. But she'll just leave it in the blender after she's done. And it hardens.

And then it's like, it should do is with sourdough too. That stuff. Fix the loogies. I'll fix that. Okay. All right. Let's do a couple more. Three more.

Okay. How do you keep it spicy with young kids? Spicy. What are they talking about here? Do you think? What do you think I'm about it? Um, we might be spicer than ever now.

What do you think? I agree. Which is fun. So maybe just like, I don't know, set expectations. It's probably not going to be spicy all the time with young kids. Part of the issue is like, hey, are these little toddlers going to walk into the room?

There's always like subconscious thoughts. but you know there's a there's a phase for everything a season for everything also just like actively working on it date nights emotional intimacy connection i think is really really important yeah i think that's right it's almost like i mean like spicy has never been necessary for either of us, but intimacy in all the ways has been necessary for us. And physical intimacy has been something that we have consistently done, which I think has been great and set us up for whatever phase we're in now. Is that fair? Fair. What year of marriage has been the best? Which one was the worst? Why? I didn't say like best and hardest. I don't like the word.

course. All right, we have something really fun to share. And honestly, this is one of the things that we've been most excited about doing this year. Yes, we are officially going on tour for The Courage to Commit. And tickets for the Courage to Commit nights are on sale right now. That's right. If you didn't know, we're writing a book and now we're doing a tour to help celebrate that and see you all in the midst of this. So it still feels really wild to say out loud.

We're bringing the podcast energy that you love right here from our show to real life for just a few nights and it's not just a book talk. It's going to be a full evening together. We are going to be sharing behind the scenes stories from our lives, the heart behind the book and honestly some of the highs, failures, and lessons that have shaped this whole message. A lot of things we haven't really shared before. That's right. We're going to be telling stories and going in really good depth with a lot of fun things. And getting to know you, which is the best part. So every night is going to be a little different too. We've got special guests joining us in each city. So it'll definitely be some fun surprises along the way.

Okay, but we have to talk about the VIP experience because this is what I am most excited about. With VIP, you get to meet us after the show, take photos, chat for a bit, and we'll also be doing a book signing. And here's a cool part. The books will actually be available at the events before the official release on June 9th. So VIP guests get that early access moment, which is really special. So here is where we're going to be June 7th in Nashville, June 8th in Philadelphia, June 9th in New York and June 10th in Chicago. If you've ever wanted to come hang with us in person, laugh at us, talk about relationships, and commitment or just spend a really meaningful night together, then this is your chance. Grab your tickets now.

And if you're thinking about VIP, don't wait because those are definitely the most limited and the ones we're most excited about. We seriously can't wait to see you guys in person. It's going to be such a fun, special few nights. This one, this one feels like the best. Today feels like the best day, to be honest. I was kind of setting you up because I want to know if you're going to go back to say a year. I've never been like a good old days type of guy.

No. Or like, those were the golden years. I think this has been the best year of our life so far. I agree. It's just getting better. I agree. Hardest one? Year one.

We've talked about that so many times. Year one was amazing, but year one was also so incredibly hard. But we had so many different life transitions happening in the same year. I might edit that response and actually just say the previous year of marriage or the hardest. Because it always seems like there's some new challenge that pops up. up every year. And it's like, no matter what year we're in, if we're in year three of marriage, the hardest year of marriage was a previous one. But the best one is the current one. The hardest one was the previous one last year because we had all the new problems and issues

and things. But the best one is this one. So the key is make it to the next one. I will say this, because I recently had someone say, who's getting married. She had heard that we had talked about the first year of marriage. She's like, I'm nervous for the first year. Because, you know, I've heard you guys talk about your first year and everything. I just want to say this, because I've reflected on this a lot. I agree with what you're saying. The year prior was the hardest because of new challenges and whatever. Our first year of marriage was so unique because usually when you get married, I would say potentially on average.

You had like one, two, maybe three huge life transitions. You're getting married, potentially you're moving in together, and you're just doing marriage, right? we had probably 10. We had multiple job changes, career changes, city changes, state changes. We moved in together. We merged finances. We got married. We did long distance for the first time in our relationship ever, but the first year of

marriage. Like we had so much thrown at us that it wasn't like we were freshly married tackling one thing together. We were tackling 100. that's right that's why we always speak about the first year being crazy yeah it was the most pivotal to us as well though because we got through that first year and that's what sparked annual goals and like a direction we're getting better baby getting better all right let's end on this one I like it um how often do you fight because you don't see eye to eye first let's let's break it down how often do we not

see eye to eye all the time all the time I agree how often do we fight though Define fight. That's what I was hoping you would say. I was going to say because like I think we fight very few times anymore. Yeah. Which I would define as like you've gone past a disagreement. You've gone past like trying to figure out a compromise or figure out the solution and now you're fighting. Like it's irrational.

You're just trying to prove a point. You know. Mm-hmm. Here's my journey. Anytime we don't see I-D-I that I'm starting to understand better, thank goodness, is initial frustration. Maybe it's taking offense at something that you brought up to we don't see I-D-I on or bringing up something that we do differently that needs to be discussed. And then it's almost like a fork in the road of, am I going to get inflamed because of this? or am I going to try to understand?

And I think I've gotten better at choosing the understanding curious route that has led us to. It's still uncomfortable, but don't equate uncomfortable with fight or uncomfortable with offensive or uncomfortable with, you know, needing to take it personal. It is uncomfortable when we don't see eye to eye always, like this morning and two nights ago. This morning. Because I had a 50 calorie breakfast before. You think that was uncomfortable? That was nothing on my book. It was something.

You didn't talk to me for 10 minutes because you were like trying to sort through. That's not why. Andrew's not responsible enough to freaking remember they shouldn't eat before blood tests. You did not. You didn't read my mind? I know. How many times do I have to babysit this kid? And then you go down this dark path of, God, Lee, he probably wouldn't even be alive if I wasn't here.

Like, geez, I do everything around here. I do everything I have to tell what he wants to be telling my kidding breakfast and I'm like chill it's fine we don't see eye to eye on this and I she's like what do you want me to do reschedule a blood test I was like let's just keep the blood test and we'll tell them that I had a hundred calories anyway um so it's still uncomfortable you know but we've gotten better at laughing about it and we've gotten better at taking the curious route not the inflamed route so anyway that was fun uh we saw we still have questions ago. So maybe we do a part three. But thank you all for participating and submitting those questions. Thank you all for putting up with 10 years of us, 10 and a half years of us

on YouTube. We're publishing some old videos. We did our first batch of like, apologize in advance. You know, we should release is our Europe trip. Yeah, yeah, that's coming. Don't worry. But anyway, you put up with us for 10 and a half years on YouTube. seven years of the podcast. My gosh, it's been a good ride. So thank you all. And we'll see you next week. That's how we got.

I'm Andrew. Until next time.