Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew - 35 Harold + Rachel Earls

Episode Date: September 16, 2020

Today in episode 35 of Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew, we chat with inspiring couple Harold and Rachel Earls! They’re parents, vloggers, authors, and *literal* mountain climbers. Get this: They climbed Mount Everest to deepen their faith, strengthen their commitment, and sharpen their vision to make a difference in the world! If you haven’t yet, please rate Couple Things and subscribe to hear more. And if you have suggestions/recommendations for the show, send us your ideas in a video format – we might just choose yours! Email us at [e-mail]. Last but not least, learn more about Harold, Emily, and all they do at the links below. ––– “A Higher Calling” – book ▶ https://www.earls.org Earls Family Vlogs ▶ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCniCPy-kRxYshisooylV--g   Follow @haroldearlsiv on IG https://www.instagram.com/HaroldEarlsIV/ Follow @rachelearls on IG https://www.instagram.com/rachelearls/ ––– We’re supported by the following companies we love! Make sure to check them out using our links below. Magic Spoon! Get free shipping with code EASTFAM at checkout ▶ https://magicspoon.com/EASTFAM Skillshare! Get 2 free months of Premium Membership ▶ https://skillshare.com/COUPLE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Conjuring Last Rites. On September 5th. I come down here, I need you. Array! Array! Array! Array! Array!

The Conjuring, last rights. Only in theater, September 5th. You know, What's up everybody? Welcome back to a couple things with Sean and Andrew a podcast all about couples and the things they go through today we sit down with Rachel and Harold Earls I should say Captain Harold Earls he is an army officer and was a commander of the guard at the tomb of the unknown soldier which I had a million questions about yes we will link videos of that down below the discipline and precision of what these soldiers do is amazing jaw dropping I'm trying to think of

other adjectives, impressive to say the least. We talk through so many different dynamics of them and their marriage and also raising two young boys with him being an active soldier, her being a vlogger and a blogger and having and living their life on the internet while he is serving, which is really cool. Also, if you haven't yet or if you don't know, they just released a new book. Yes, it's called a higher calling. It's all about pursuing love, faith, and Mount Everest for a greater purpose. So Harold actually went on this huge journey to climb Mount Everest.

And they talk about what that did to their relationship. And they just have a lot of really unique insight. We talk with a lot of celebrities and musicians about what it's like to go, you know, play concerts on the road. Their experience and their separation, since he's an army officer, is so much greater. The wrists and the stakes are so much higher. But he's also, fun fact, U.S. Army. Airborne Ranger qualified, which we're excited about because coming up in a couple days here.

We are jumping out of a plane with the Golden Knights to help raise money for Army families, which is really cool. I'm really excited. And to Sean's credit, she's done a lot of work with military families. And really, it's so easy to forget about the families that are left behind. A lot of focus goes to the soldiers when the families really pay just as much of a cost. And so we talk about a lot of these things in this episode with Rachel and Harold. We'll link the book down below as well as those videos and their social media information.

Check out their YouTube channel. It has over 100 million views. It's incredible. If you haven't yet before we get started. Yeah. Give the show a subscription and rating on whatever platform you're listening to. If you have any questions, concerns, ideas, email us, a couple things pod at gmail.com. And let's just go ahead and jump into this one with Rachel and Harold Earls.

Rachel Harrell, thank you so much for joining us today. You guys are coming from Washington, D.C. area. Is that right? We are. Yeah. Thanks so much for having us on. It's great to meet both of you. I do have to ask, since you're out there, are we Redskins fans or what's the deal? No, no, I'll get out here. I'm from Atlanta, so I'm actually a Falcons fan. Oh, wow. Four times in four years. So we've kind of seen all sorts of sports teams. We're moving again in like a month, so. Oh, my gosh. And then to explain to people, you're moving, are you moving, are you moving because of Army?

Yes, because of the Army. So I've been in the Army, graduated from West Point a little over five years ago. And so we've moved literally every single year because of the Army. Wow. And then you have two babies. Two babies. We have two little boys. Leo is our oldest one.

He's two and a half. And then we have Wyatt who just turned one. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Like walking around and everything is awesome. We actually got our fingers crossed. They're downstairs with grandma right now. So praying they are good.

I was going to say, our seven-month-old is downstairs as grandma, too. So same situation. Fingers across. It's funny for some of our news interviews we had, we're debating, like, should we let the dogs babysit the two-year-old and try to run up here real quick and do, like, the five-minute interview and then run downstairs. We've tried a couple times of doing interviews where, like, my mom wasn't here holding Drew, and it either goes so incredibly well or it goes so incredibly not well.

We've had to cancel some interviews last minute because, like, the only thing worse than canceling an interview is when you're holding a child. Yeah. Excuse me. Can you say that again? So true. We had an ABC news interview. This was last week. And Leo, our two-year-old, is downstairs. And he's like, Mommy.

Mommy. And we're just like, oh, my gosh. Like, I just kind of rock the interview as we hear a child in the background. So much stress. I'm curious. When did you guys start? You guys have been on the YouTube scene for a while. when did you guys start that and why did you start it yeah good question so I started in 2014 um

I was a year ahead of Harold in school and so I had already graduated we were engaged and I was actually in a really tricky point in my life because I knew I'd be moving soon once we got married um and I felt like I didn't want to lie to any employer that I'd be leaving and so I just wasn't really finding fulfillment and what I was doing and Harold actually brought it up to me because when we were together we were long distance dating i would always pull my phone and just start talking to it and telling about our adventure and so he brought up youtube and was like hey you should try it and so i was like okay and that night i made my first video posted it it kind of went a little bit crazy in the west point sphere not in a good way not in a good way like i got bashed like literally yeah people yeah so we

we talk about in our book so i'm sitting in my barracks room i'm i'm a cadet at west point in the time and these two cadets like knock on my door and they're like, are you Harold Earls? And I'm like, yeah? And they just burst out laughing and walk away. And I'm like, what in the world is going on? And so I end up waking up the next day, going to class. And as I'm walking down the hallway, there's like classes on both sides. And instructors had her video up playing to the entire classroom, like multiple times. I can hear her voice throughout the hallway. It was crazy. So I know for us, it was like, I mean, it got a lot of, you know, bad heat in regards to the cadet world but I think for you it just really like empowered you and show like man like you can

have a voice and you can make a difference because there's a lot of girls that really were like man this is awesome yeah so the video was signs you're dating a west point cadet so that's why people were giving me heat about it but the girlfriends were like oh my gosh like I relate to this you know that they don't have that voice and so it did empower me I was like well shoot I'm gonna keep going then and it kind of took off from there and then we got married and I just brought him into it with me. Okay, we're going to have to link that video down. Oh, gosh. Oh, no, no. We're going to relive it all. It's so embarrassing. Yeah, we'll just rip the scab off. Yeah. It never goes away. I do have to say, though, there's something so embarrassing about the first YouTube video.

We go back and look at ours and we're like, what were we doing? Yeah, it's pretty bad. We'll link scars too. It is interesting. You know, I've experienced that same kind of shame in some sense in the football locker room. It's like, you know, you kind of have this, there's this aura of like, I don't know, you just have, you just have people who there's like a demeanor. 100%. In the West Pointe world in the football locker room. And then you make YouTube videos and are like, what are you trying to do here? Dude, so, so true, man. So, like, me, it's like, I'm in the Army.

So it's like, and me at work is like, so I'm currently the commander of the guard, right? And it's like, me at work is like serious Harold, you know? It's like, I have to be. It's like, it's like, it's my job to be in charge. But then it's like, they go and watch my life. And it's like me, like, you know, being silly with a two year old. And so that was like something that I had to like get over was like, I can still be serious and driven and passion and love to lead, but also have a family

and show that personal side too. there's a good bit of humility that goes into that harold so i really respect that um i would love could you explain what you do for those who don't know yeah for sure so i am the commander of the guard at the tomb unknown soldier so we were tasked by congress about 82 years ago to maintain the highest standards and tradition the united states army and this nation and so essentially we guard the tomb unknown soldier 24 hours a day we it was funny we literally went down a massive rabbit hole about four weeks ago watching every single video we could find about you guys about like your guys's relationship but then also uh the tomb of the unknown soldier and it's the

most fascinating most fascinating and like patriotic and just respectful I don't know yeah you low key just kind of slid in under the radar like maintain the highest standards of traditions of the United States of America. Bro. That's huge. That's a big deal, man. Yeah, I tell you, you talk about like most patriotic place. That has been a place especially, I think,

right now of what we're going through in this country to be able to see, quite frankly, the very best of this country at a time when we absolutely need reminding what our best looks like, right? Like, we see, you know, we saw every day a war war, war II veterans show up, right? And during Taps, when Taps is played, that War II veteran will stand up

slowly just to salute. Like, there's things that will bring you to tears and like it makes me so proud so proud in our country you know what I mean like there is still good in this country you're about to get me all fired out too I know I want to go down a different path I would probably shouldn't do that on this interview but um uh I am curious with your job and I feel like between the army and YouTube it's like you said it's two very very different worlds yeah is that hard on your relationship to separate that um wow great question that's a good question it definitely is taxing for sure because i know for me like maintain the highest standards of tritians the united states army in this nation like when i'm at work

it's like i am like i mean we are at work like we are working very very hard our team is um and then to come home and it's like oh we're going to make a youtube video then we're going to do this oh we're writing a book by the way so i would just say that it can become very difficult on you just emotionally draining which then obviously anytime there's emotional draining that's when relationships are more prone to, you know, be short with each other, getting arguments with each other. That's something we honestly had to work out. And we failed for a while was through this book writing process, like, man, it has been a difficult journey. Just to write and pull your heart into that and relive those moments, you know, then to not be budding heads with each other

just because we're so mentally drained. Yeah, I think even for our own community, they don't see it quite as much because we just show our home life, you know. He wakes up at four in the morning and goes to work and comes home. It could be like six, seven o'clock and then we vlog for the day. And then, you know, the behind-the-scenes stuff of writing a book and whatnot. So it's a lot of just extra work that goes on. Yeah, so funny behind the scenes. Our pregnancy announcement, the last one we did went like totally viral on YouTube, has like 12 million views. But before that, the drive home. So I was, I was a scout and sniper platoon leader before this. And, the drive home was a very long day, hard day of training. And I knew that we had, we had another

video plan and it was like a big video. And I was driving home. It's like an 11 minute drive. And in the head, I'm listening to like meditation music. I'm like, just get your mind right. Just get your mind right. A terrible day at work. But it's like, I got to find a way to like compartmentalize that and then bring it back, you know, in the home life. And little did he know I was going to tell him I was pregnant. Oh my gosh. That's amazing. What better way to alleviate the stress? that you already have in your daily life than to just decide to go climb Everest. Yeah, right.

Yeah, exactly. Let's talk about your book for a little bit. Yeah, yeah, for sure. I would love to hear why you guys decided to write the book, why you decided to take the trip and do the climb. And then Rachel, how can I, what are some tips that you can give me as a husband to convince my wife

to go on an epic adventure like that? Hey, Andrew, I'm right there with you, brother. You let me know, we'll go to the archie circle. Something cool, you know. Yeah. man yeah so many good questions so I think the why behind Everest I'll start with the whole beginning the nexus of all of it so I was a cadet at West Point I remember sitting in my barracks room and so it was late one night and I had my journal open and I was writing down

my bucket list all those epic things of Arctic Circle to the Maasai tribe some really cool things but at the top was climbed on Everest and for me I started thinking when could I do this and I realized it would be right after graduating from West Point and quite frankly I mean, honestly, ashamedingly now, that pursuit of Everest and that dream was a personal dream, right? It was out of a self-interest. I want to climb Mount Everest. Just for me, I don't like the cold. I'm from Georgia, and I don't like running hills.

So I wanted to put myself in that environment. But it was very selfish, right, knowing that I'm getting married less than a year later. And so I think what's beautiful is how God can take that dream that you have and manifest it into something so much greater than you can never see. right so that's the whole premise of our title of the book a higher calling is that god took that dream and we ended up climbing and raising awareness for post-traumatic stress and shoulder mental health and reaching a lot of people for good through the original self-interest pursuit yeah i'm really big on the concept um i grew up in the conservative christian realm and i feel like there's this underlying pressure to all kind of conform to like speak the same lingo and to go to the same events and

to, you know, hang out with the certain groups of people and, like, go to the coffee shops, whatever. But as I've gotten older, like, I just realize the Bible verse talks about, you know, the different parts of the body of Christ. And it's like, we're each given unique talent, skills, and gifts. And it's like a shame if we don't actually pursue those. So I don't know. Like, I know it's, it's, you pitched it as kind of a self-interest thing, but I truly believe,

like, hey, you know what? You had that desire for a reason. and I think through those desires that we're given, you can make amazing things happen as you did. Meet our dogs. Sorry, our dogs are parking. Our dog was just doing this in the background. Our mailman comes every afternoon on cue.

Hey, honestly, no, I totally agree, Andrew. It's interesting. If you look at your dreams and passions, like I'm only about 47% sure that God wants me to do something. You know what I mean? It's like, I think he may, but it's like, I don't know. And that's where it's like, I think it's so important. to follow the passions that you have, right? Because I, I wholeheartedly that's God

putting that passion within you, right? And it's important for you to then just look at God and allow him to guide you along the way. Yeah, we talk about a lot, especially with Harold's drive. I mean, he's pushed me so much of my own dreams in pursuit of just a lot of people just wait for doors to be open. Where as Harold is the type of person, like he's going to go knocking down and try to, you know, everything he can. And, you know, if God doesn't want that to happen, it's going to be pretty clear. So the title of the book is called The Higher Calling, Pursuing Love, Faith, and Mount Everest for a Greater Purpose. Can you talk about how you were able to pursue love and faith in that experience?

Yeah, so I think for, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry about it. It's okay. It's faint. Somebody's outside. When it comes to love, I mean, yeah, of course it's hard to support your spouse when they're going on something that is going to absolutely change your life. I mean, to the point, I could have lost him. I could have lost my future children, like what I've been hoping for and praying for my whole life, you know. But I had to sit back and really know my husband, right? And when I said yes, when he proposed to me, I was saying yes to, you know, that life together because I knew who he was. I knew that he had those passions and dreams

inside of him. And actually right before he decided on Everest, we were planning on going out to the Maasai tribe in Africa. So it wasn't like this surprising thing that I was like, oh, that's crazy. What's interesting is so I came up with the idea, right? Wrote it down on my list. The next thing was to call my soon-to-be fiance and be like, hey, they plan on climbing Mount Everest. Like, I'm from Georgia, no climbing experience. What do you think about that? And I expected like pushback. But honestly, I learned a whole new thing about love that I never, never even knew was possible because not only did Rachel say, hey, I support you, she said, how can I come alongside you and make this happen together? How can I run this race alongside you and make it our dream and run

together in life? And honestly, for me, like, I learned so much about her and about what our marriage would ultimately be. It's really been a just cool lesson in life in general for us. Like, we are so much stronger when we go at something together. Like, I mean, we feel that even when we feel like nobody around us is there to support us or encourage us like we're there for each other and that's been really powerful okay so for we watched a bunch of trailers and we saw some glimpses of what happened if you could take everest and sum it up give our like followers a sneak peek into what they'll they'll read about well first of all there's a lot that happened we just paused and looked that each other like wow well it's not just about Everest so it talks about how we met it talks about

my journey with YouTube talks about you know us getting married in our wedding night and stuff like that and it talks about our journey to our first child as well so there's definitely that dynamic love story and then of course the journey of pursuing your dreams and then just leaning on god during those hard times of uncertainty and at least for me being a military spouse there's so many times that we get put in a time of waiting, you know, waiting for our spouse to come home. And that can lead to resentment, to be completely honest, you know, and you have to be aware of that and what you're sacrificing and to choose something greater. Say, like, well, I want my own story and I'm going to live during this time, too, so that it doesn't lead to resentment.

And we just hope that our story can be a story that impacts people individually for their own life. Like, it's not just about us, you know? which is which is the more difficult task climbing everest or taking care of two kids oh two kids oh come on yeah you guys know you got one i mean too i am so yeah we we have a seven month old and um i have had so many revelations in life and like perspective changes as you know what was the experience uh what was the experience like knowing that, you know, you're leaving your family and the future of whatever that might look like. Was there hesitation or was the calling bigger than like the resistance, I guess, you know?

Yeah, interesting. Interesting. I wish I could say that I had the maturity then to realize what I really was missing. But quite frankly, it hasn't been until, you know, long time after ever seeing our two-year-old boy that we have downstairs being silly and wild of our one-year-old crawling around as he's on my back and I'm acting like a tiger seeing those moments and the rawness of those moments and seeing what we could have lost that's when it sets in you know quite frankly then i was just focused on Everest my dream my dream my dream my dream anything i can to make it happen um so much so i mean there's this thing called summit fever and it's where you have a desire so badly to make it to the top it's in it's in very commonly known in the alpine and mouth in

world that you desire so strongly to make it to the top that you'll do anything you'll sacrifice anything and everything in order to make it happen um and quite frankly i was at a point advanced camp we had about 20 000 feet right before we were going to make our summit push and i got incredibly sick incredibly sick i was throwing up day before we were going to leave and i will never forget having to call racial on a satellite phone and i just had tears in my eyes tears of my eyes bawling my eyes out because I didn't think that I could climb and a little over 12 hours goes by and I was feeling a good bit better but I definitely wasn't 100% I had no way I should have climbed but for me it was like I'm going like I'm going for the top and I mean I took a huge risk

huge risk another point up to mountain we're at about 27,000 feet got hit with a nasty storm where a really intense part to climb it was a sheer vertical cliff and my my goggles got knocked off I know eye protection at all, I kept going. And like, that is, I mean, just crazy. I mean, that's like suicidal almost, especially because we got hit with about 75 mile hour wins on the way down. So it was, could have been catastrophic, right? But I think there's so many truisms to life about, you know, summit fever, right? That you get so fixated on the prize that you don't really realize what you're sacrificing, you know, in the process. Wow.

Andrew's been wanting to climb Everest for years. It was a bucket list item I had for years until friends of mine who had gone and just all of these stories. But gotten within, yeah, we had a friend get within like 100 yards of the summit, had to turn around. So he did it again. Wow. And I was able to summit.

But it's like, it's, uh, it's kind of a, a task and goal for quasi insane people. So yeah, totally. You and I both. Yeah. Well, that was my fear when he called me and he was sick. I was like, oh my gosh, like I cannot go through this again. You know, like this is enough right now. And so as much as in that moment, I was like, okay, well, maybe he's not climbing. He's safe. I was like petrified. And I almost just wanted him to go. Rachel, you started to talk about it a little bit earlier, but I feel like you have a really interesting position. Having gone through Everest, where your

husband's hiking at risk and then being a military wife i feel like there's so many different relationship aspects where one or the other you know spouse has a career of some kind that you have to sacrifice for and i guess the question is can you can you speak to that sacrifice because a lot of people see it as a deal breaker when it actually can make relationships like stronger yeah that's really good i i felt that in that in the very beginning like I mentioned before we were married I I was like oh man this resentment is starting to come because I have my own dreams and and I wanted to go far and I knew I could but oh this is kind of like a change of pace for me and first it took being honest with

my husband about that you know like really talking about that and I'm so thankful that he chose to support me and not just say hey we're not just like following my journey I want to help you find yours as well. And he came alongside me. So I wouldn't like discount any relationship if you're in that situation where like one person, it's very clear that it's going one way and it's going to require sacrifice. It doesn't limit you to pursue other things. And so not to just get stuck in that because it can be bigger. But of course there is that that sacrifice. And I think just acknowledging the fact that it can lead to that resentment is why you have to be so open about your communication right because you don't want that to happen that can be detrimental to a relationship

are there practices that you guys have to to keep that healthy communication in check yeah i will go back to even at west point um in the military things are so just spur of the moment right and you don't get like forewarnings of things. And so for us, it's like any time that he can give me any sort of heads up, that's like appreciated on my end. You know, if there's a change of plan, you're not going to be home until two in the morning. Like, let me know as soon as possible.

And then also, I'm so sorry about the dogs. It's okay. So we just like wait until they stop. No, I think it's a nice little like background. It actually doesn't sound as bad as you think on this. Okay, okay. Just cue the who let the dogs out. song whenever it happens you know yeah I'm a one on the neagram so like I critically think about all those

things in my head so um but yeah I mean I think anything that you sacrifice through is an opportunity for growth and that you can like grow together and I think it has done that for us yeah well I mean you you look at like communication that's an area that I really we have grown so much even through this story is communication from the time we were on Everest to the time that we get back. I think that we found for us, just with our climbing team, we, uh, we brought sled dogs with us. Um, yeah, so our climbing team, we, uh, we decided not to bring cellfa or not to bring like radio communication equipment. We just brought, uh, cell phones high up on the mountain, which is disastrous. You know what I mean? Like, why would we ever make

that decision to do that? Um, and so therefore, when we got hit with a storm, we couldn't communicate at all. And I think there's so many truisms to that when we get back home, Even though Rachel and I are sitting next to each other right now, it doesn't mean that communication is actually taking place. Our grandmother is doing nothing to stop our dogs. Who would have thought there's the dogs and not the kids, honestly? Yeah, exactly. Or maybe the dogs are barking because of the kids, but we'll never know.

I can just see your face right there. It was like, huh? What kind of dogs do you have? An Australian cattle dog and then an Australian Shepherd. So very active. That's the ones that have the eyes that you like. I love those dogs. Harold, I think you were talking about you didn't bring phones.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we made a choice as a climbing team not to bring anything but cell phones high on the mountain. The Russian team told us that we'd have good cell reception up Mount Everest. I don't know why we thought we would. So we only brought phones. And we ended up getting hit with this nasty storm. And our team was split up. and we essentially had no way to communicate at all.

And we ended up, some of our team made it back down the mountain, but some of our team was still up on the mountain. And I remember I made it back down. I talked to Rachel, and then I talked to my dad. I called my dad and share with them, hey, I made it to the summit. I made it back down. We've been climbing for about 36 straight hours.

I was really banged up, totally exhausted and depleted. And I'll never forget what my dad told me. He said sometimes as leader's son, you have to make hard calls. And in this case, you need to go back up the mountain or die trying. And, you know, for me, it's like I had just talked to my wife on the phone. I had made it. You know what I mean?

I had frostbite on my toe. I was not in good shape. And for me, that was very much a crucible experience that really just permeated in my mind as far as what is asked of for leaders, right? Whether I was the expedition leader or not, it was my job, you know, not to leave teammates behind. That's a point where I feel like I grew tremendously was during that time. And honestly, through the mistakes, you know, that I, that I made. I remember reading that in the book for the first time.

He never told me that story. And so I was reading that conversation with his dad. I just started bawling. Yeah. He didn't even tell me this. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Can you talk about, I mean, so you experience this in the daily life, in your daily life,

but the cost of leadership, but I feel like, I feel like in the entrepreneur scene, these days there's like this glorification of leadership and it's like oh my gosh it's so great and that I want to do that but there's a heavy cost to it if you can speak to that a little bit that's a great question you're just talking about this it's lonely first of all right because you are the person that is in charge right you are the person that has to make the tough calls like you can't be friends of the people that you lead right your job is you make those tough decisions at least for me in the military sense of I know that I'm making decisions that impacts their life right all the way down to their family. I'll say what has helped me. Commandstar Major Todd Burnett,

he is a mentor of mine, an absolute stud. He was the second in charge at West Point when I was there. And he always said that leadership is boiled down to you have to care that much. And for me, that's something that I've tried to emulate in every part of my life, is not just caring about, in our case, the mission, but also caring about the actual soldier, caring about their families, right? Really truly caring about them at a deeper level other than just, hey, I need you for this one role. Yeah, and just talking about, like you said, the entrepreneurial space, it is a grind. So I'm totally right. People do not see that.

They see like the victory, the celebration, like the numbers or whatever. And like, wow, that must be so easy. And that's something we were just talking about. It's like, no, man, that is a fight every single day. That is exactly. And like you're saying, it's lonely. You're like figuring out on your own. You got the world just like, you know, having all their opinions and stuff.

do you guys view the sacrifices you have to make to support the other person's dreams and desires is it like a give and take like all right let's chalk this one up so harold did this rachel gets to do this next or what is there a way to that you guys think about it we keep a chalkboard downstairs i mean it's five chalks yeah five marks yeah um you know we don't but i will say because we're entering a new season of our life where Harold's, you know, been serving in the military for five years and we're about to come out of the military. Um, I is something I said is, you know, we've been on this for such a while. I want to have some more just like family time before something else, you know? And so, yes, there is a little bit of

that of like, okay, you know, we need to refocus here just not to wear ourselves out, but just in our day to day life to make sure it is that even balance of, I'm going to help you with what you're doing, but also help me with what I'm doing. And I feel like he does a really good job showing up for me because I feel like his stuff is really just obvious. You know, the military, obviously that requires sacrifice. But when he sees I have a goal, whether it's YouTube or starting another business, he puts in that effort at nighttime, building a website for me and helping me strategize.

Yeah, I think it's so interesting. When you look at things as far as like supporting each other, you know just looking at it in rachel like pursuing her dreams than me pursuing my dreams i think that we sometimes assume something with the other person we assume that we know what that other person's dreams are we assume that we know what they want that's where i failed honestly it's like i think i know what she wants i think i know what she's trying to communicate to me but when did i ask her you know that's where i feel like we learned in this past year just through writing this book was really just talking to you saying hey talk to me like what are your passions right now

where are we headed? What are you thinking? Because I think sometimes we think we know our style so well that we don't even have to ask them those questions. Oh, something else we've talked about especially in a relationship. If one of those people is a little bit more driven, a little bit more goal-minded, then it's really easy to get sidetracked and to just follow that person, right? And so to slow down a little bit, and that's why I say I'm so thankful for you and open that conversation to ask what are your goals and how can i make that happen as well yeah this is a lot of really good stuff you guys are incredible um talking about you guys have been in the military five years and you're getting ready to transition out your guys's life for five years has been

military and youtube and your routine is there something does that intimidate you transitioning out of that finding a new routine, finding a new kind of everyday world? Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure, I'd be lying if it wasn't. I mean, I have, in my professional life, all have known as the military, right? I was groomed at West Point to be a leader in the military, right? And then all the leadership experiences that I had, for the most part, came in some form or fashion revolving around the military. Even our daily life and how we lived our life revolved around the military.

So undoubtedly, I think it comes with its unknown. owns. I know for us the beauty in it all is that the thing that drives us is not money. It's never been money. We don't care about that. We care about what can we do to make a difference. And I think that that stays true no matter what stage of life we're in. It's just a matter of finding what is that next thing for us that we can continue to make an impact and continue to make a difference. Yeah. And I think our side of being in the military, that's not the case for everybody where everyone moves like every year like we have. So it's kind of prepared us for that. We've been here a little over year it's like oh it kind of feels like it's time to go now so it actually might be

refreshing for us to have a little bit more permanency in our life to create community um because we want people like in our real life to be able to be around us as well i mean we're far from family we don't have help like luckily we have a church here that we love um but to really get planted we're excited for that can you guys tell the story of how you got engaged yeah sure can man so wow yeah cool we have a lot of like surprises in our life i think we like surprises yeah cool so i had this grand plan to surprise rachel and propose to her not sure if you guys saw the video or not so i came with this idea um where i reached out to her sorority she was in kai omega at florida state and they do these things where they have candlelights and so it's anytime

a girl gets engaged they like have this little ceremony they all get in a circle you know kind of kumbaya moment and they pass around the candle and on the third time the girl who got engaged blows it out and that's how all her girlfriends found out that she you know got engaged so she keeps a secret well i call the president unbeknownst to rachel and scheduled a candlelight for her and so then when the candle was getting passed around it went to rachel and then i took it out of her hand and then blew out the candle so like i didn't know he was there he flew down hid behind the wall like of my sorority then came up everyone is looking at me because they assume it's me because they knew we're in a serious relationship.

I'm pissed because I'm like, it is not me. Like, it should be me, but it is not. This girl here is all about sweatpants, baggy sweatpants and t-shirts. And, like, her girlfriend's like, oh, put on, like, a dress. And she's like, no, why would I put on shoes in a dress? I'm wearing, like, flip-lops and, you know. Yes, they have. My friend literally threw her shoes out and we were like, just put these on.

And so, yeah, then he came out and I knew, obviously, and he started crying my I did, I did screw up one thing, though. I, I totally screw this up. Man, guy trying to be smooth always fails. I sent her a picture of a picture that morning of me in the locker room with the dudes like, yo, we're in the locker room, like, good morning, you know, like trying to be sly, like, oh, I'm still at West Point. And Rachel was like, why did he send me a picture of a picture?

Like, you could tell it was a screen. So, like, he took it on the iPad and then he took his phone and sent a picture of it. I'm like, what? I guess I never knew how to do a screenshot back then. Hey, I'm just putting this out there back on the climbing mountains themes. You guys might have a serious conversation after this, Sean. You're going to watch out. He's going to sign up for Everest tonight.

It's my goal to climb Kilimanjaro with Sean. And so if you guys are looking for like a, you know, a quick week trip in and out. hey that would be happy to have you guys tag along we don't have anything on the schedule yet we actually haven't even talked about it yeah um yeah yeah okay so two of my favorite questions that we ask every single couple um one of you has to choose who goes first without knowing the questions so who's that going to be ladies first oh come oh I always do the hard stuff It's always interesting, excuse me, it's always interesting, too, to see how people choose. Because we'll have to do like a compilation of that.

Yeah. Okay, so Rachel, what is your biggest pet pee with Harold? Oh, man, I'd love to tell you. I love everything about him. Let's end it right there. Gosh, what is one? Because I got a lot. Oh, my, I got one of her.

Let me just throw it out here. I'm going first on this. Man, this is my pet pee. is. No, I wonder if you do. She leaves empty food cartons in the pantry. Like, it could be like a thing of Oreos, right? She'll finish them off and then leave the bag empty in the pantry. Yeah, because you can't claim like fault. Absolutely not. Wasn't me? And then later on, it's like, who finished the Oreos? What do you mean? There's nothing more frustrating than pouring a glass of milk and then going in to get the Oreos and realize the bag is empty. Wait a second. I will say, that's not

something that I've probably done until about this year. Honestly, I really never did that before. And it's because I'm two kids. Like, I'm like, I'm carrying two kids. I want an Oreo. Oh, no. But, like, I'm not going to go this way. I'm two kids in my hand.

And you also don't want the kids to see. So you're saying you can, you have to lock yourself in the pantry, eat a quick Oreo, leave it there so the kids don't see you eat it. And then. I'm not buying it, girls. I'm just confused how she can get an Oreo. I'm with you, man. You're done that up.

If you can pick an Oreo, you could throw the wrapping away. And how do you open an Oreo bag with one hand? You've got to use two hands. So I don't even buy the baby. She's using the baby as an excuse right now. A lot of unanswered questions. Whatever. I can't even think of all my pet peeves that you have.

My next YouTube video is going to be a hidden camera of Rachel going in at late at night. And she like opens the Oreo and puts a like in there. Okay. This isn't a pet peeve, but it's just something that I thought of that. I actually kind of think it's cute is Harold will like talk to himself underneath his breath. like if he's like thinking about something or he's like read something he said something he I always find him like yeah that's true that's true that's just that's funny no it's more like if I'm watching like a inspirational movie or something like that and there's like a character on the

screen and he's like being this like you know great leader you know like on a horse and I'm like you know kind of like almost like murmuring the words that he's saying like you know I'm the George Washington on the horse and I'm just doing it over there like just watch the movie rude up like so why are you talking to yourself um okay part two of the question Sean you got me sweating now I'm literally wiping my forehead over here I want to find I think we always open cans of worms when we ask about the pet peeves because then you start thinking and then it comes back up okay so part two is what do you love the most about each other. Oh, well, there's so many things. I think Harold does a really good job of showing me

that he loves me. Like, I've never once questioned his love. And that's like a just a really powerful thing. I think it's just like a natural thing for him. And maybe it's because I don't know, maybe because physical touch is his love language, even though it's not mine. But I always feel his love, even from just the way that he looks at me and stuff. So I, I just always feel like, you know, we're in it together, and that's a good feeling to have in a relationship. You know, I don't ever have any questions or doubts about my husband. Yeah, I would say for me, it's interesting.

I think you, like, expect me. It's like, oh, like her beautiful green eyes, which I love and her red hair. For me, it's like, I love that she keeps me grounded in everything, right? Like, for me, it's like, I just naturally, what am I a three on the any of you? Like, I'm like, you know, the gung-ho, let's do it. And, you know, but she'll always speak truth to me in a loving way. Most of the time, she's a one. But, like, I appreciate that and I love that about her.

And it's so it shows me so much love that she cares for me and will speak that honesty in a loving way. Because I think that's difficult to do, right? I think people get it one way or the other. They either aren't honest with you. And they're just like, hey, man, that's awesome. Do that, right? Which a lot of friends are naturally, right?

They're the cheerleader. Or you have the other ones where they're very hypercritical, right? And I think that we kind of fall on one of those two buckets. But I think, honestly, you do like such a. beautiful job of showing me that love but also showing me that honesty and realness and you love love. Love you. All right. So you guys have experienced so many unique things together. I'm curious, what is the greatest piece of advice in regards to a relationship that you've either been given or would give based off of those experiences?

The first thing I think about is about marriage specifically. And it came from my cousin actually and it's just talking about you have to put your marriage before your children and that was something that I didn't understand in the beginning I was like what do you mean like you know my kids are going to be everything but really it's what's best for your children right to see to grow up seeing what a loving relationship looks like I'm like that is so healthy for them and and you can give your children the best when you and your spouse are the best together yeah i i think it's important like i just like anything from our kids seeing us like holding hands in public like dancing in the kitchen to me walking by and giving her a little love tap you know it's like

those are love and that's so important yeah for me i would say it's we met a month after we met my parents just got a divorce and was very tough on my sister and i honestly um you know it's any time that family gets a divorce is very tough and so i think other us seeing that and really forming our relationship with that so formidable at the beginning of our relationship, it really taught us that love has to be a choice every single day, that while you may be madly in love, you know, from the very beginning, you have to constantly choose that every day. I have to be intentional with my actions every single day to show her that I love her, right, and to choose that. So I think one way to do that, one thing that we've found recently that really

helps us is do something for your loved one that is unexpected it could be something so small but if you do something that is unexpected it is huge like for me like physical touch is like my thing but if rachel walks over and i'm like working like crushing an email and she just like gives me a kiss on the cheek and is like i love you i'm just like i'm great yeah it's like i'm great you know like it makes my day so i think those doing those little things that are unexpected are huge for relationships I know you had to take some, I had a couple of friends that went to West Point and there's the navigation classes. I don't know what the title of it is. Land navigation? Yeah, yeah, yeah, the similar concept. Hey, good thing there's a trail up Kilimanjaro. You may be in trouble, you know.

A hundred percent. You take that GPS class or, yeah. No, but it's, walk up. You'll be all right. You know, they say on a compass, even if you're just one degree off, you know, as you progress farther and further long that makes a huge difference at the end point and I think it's a similar concept in marriage where it's like if every day you're neglecting or like not paying attention to your wife the way she wants like you know well makes mistakes we'll have tough days where we we have to you know just take care of us first I guess yourself first but if but if you make it a habit to take care of your spouse then that you'll end up at a good spot so anyway yeah yeah it's a so it's shooting an asthma is what they call it so you use your compass to shoot an asmuth and in the military so when we do

land nav you shoot an asmuth if you're off by three degrees only three degrees which you can't even see when you use your hand three degrees but over the span of a thousand meters one click as we call it you can be off by hundreds of meters you want to even see the target or the point that you were trying to go to and you're only off by three degrees yeah something we talk about a lot is if you feel like you're not receiving love from your spouse it's probably because you're not showing it you know So, like, that's something we do when we get in, like, not a good place. It's like, oh, if we want to get back to a good place, I got to show them love. You know, so I got to get out of my own wherever my head and my feelings are.

And I'm going to show some love, then, man, right away, he's like, okay, love you too. You do got to make sure your heart's in the right place. I will say there's times when I'm like, hmm, she's not loving me. And then, like, she sees, like, right through that, like, hmm, I'm going to get some flowers or something, but I'm still pretty tick off at her. You know, it's like, to roll matter. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Anyway, hey, Harold, Rachel, thank you so much for joining us. Those listening,

please check out their book called The Higher Calling, Pursuing Love, Faith, and Mount Everest for a greater purpose. We'll include all these fun links in the description down below, but it was a pleasure meeting you and thank you for the time. Oh, we appreciate you guys. Thank you. Fun hanging out. Thank you.