Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew - 55 Josh and Abbie Herbert

Episode Date: March 3, 2021

This week on Couple Things, we talk with Josh and Abbie Herbert. Here are a few of the topics that we cover: how josh and abbie met what happened that made their relationship move quickly early dating stories proposal story abbie’s journey as a model how josh approached his concerns about abbie becoming parents and surrounding yourself with good people getting on the same page about having children as a couple how to approach social media v. reality creating boundaries with social media and your relationship what to with social media and children what is the hardest part about having your career be social media? josh’s career transition best piece of advice for couples Follow their family journey below: Family Youtube Page ▶ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtPqR1gumPRaMLhSTlLn5nw Abbie Herbert Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/abbieherbert_/ Josh Herbert Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/joshherbert/ Herbert Candles ▶ https://herbertcandle.co/ Related Co: ▶ https://relateco.shop/ Their dog, Nate’s Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/n8herbert/ If you haven’t yet, please rate Couple Things and subscribe to hear more. Follow us on Instagram to keep the conversation going at https://www.instagram.com/couplething...​ And if you have suggestions/recommendations for the show, send us your ideas in a video format – we might just choose yours! Email us at [e-mail]. We're supported by the following companies that we love! Check them out below: Care/of ▶ For 50% off your first Care/of order, go to https://www.TakeCareOf.com and entercodecouplethings50. Beekeepers ▶ Receive 15% off your first order. Go to https://www.BEEKEEPERSNATURALS.com/EASTFAM or use code EASTFAM at checkout to claim this deal. FAN MAIL ADDRESS: Shawn and Andrew East 750 N San Vicente Blvd., East Tower, 11th Floor, Los Angles, CA 90069 Follow My Instagram ▶ http://www.instagram.com/ShawnJohnson...​ Like the Facebook page! ▶ http://www.facebook.com/ShawnJohnson​​​​​ Follow My Twitter ▶ http://www.twitter.com/ShawnJohnson​​​​​ Snapchat! ▶ @ShawneyJ Follow AndrewsTwitter ▶ http://www.twitter.com/AndrewDEast​​​​​ Follow My Instagram ▶ http://www.instagram.com/AndrewDEast​​​​​ Like the Facebook page! ▶ http://www.facebook.com/AndrewDEast​​​​​ Snapchat! ▶ @AndrewDEast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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and ask your family eye care professional for SLR Stellist lenses at your child's next visit. Josh, your nickname, I believe, is sassy king. No, it's the sass king. The sass king. It took off, and now he's just this 30-year-old sass king on TikTok. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to a couple things.

with Sean and Andrew. A podcast all about couples. And the things they go through. Today we have Josh and Abby Herbert. Yes. So Josh and Abby, you have probably seen their content on TikTok, on YouTube.

And they have a really fantastic story. So I was eager to reach out to them because it seemed like we had a lot of shared values. And Abby is a model. And she talks about how she went through a lot of kind of struggles and didn't really know exactly who she was before she ended up meeting Josh. and Josh was a musician when they met.

Ultimately, he ended up working on 9 to 5 before they both stopped pretty much everything they were doing and started focusing on social media full time. So now they create family-friendly content. They're a lot of fun. Josh's nickname is the SaaS King. Am I right in saying that? Yeah. But we talk about a lot of things, including since Sean and I have been in the social media

world and documented our family, it was just an interesting conversation to get their perspective since they're just starting out versus ours a couple years down the road. We also talk about they are pregnant. Yes. Congratulations. Expecting their first baby. And we talk a lot about balancing the family life within the world of social media and how they're planning on balancing that and kind of dealing with it.

And we also had a lot of fun. So I think you'll like this couple. And if you want to find out more about Josh and Abby, you can find their information in the show notes down below. And before we jump into it, if you haven't subscribed. to the show or give it in a rating, please do so on whatever platform you're listening on. Let's go ahead and jump into it with Josh and Abby Herbert. Abby, I got to know.

Okay, so Josh, your nickname, I believe, is Sassy King? Is that right? Mr. Sassy Pants, I don't know what it is. No, it's the Sass King. The Sass King. I don't know how it started, but it just, it took off. And now he's just this 30-year-old Sass King on TV. talk my whole life just let up you know when i think about uh the type of energy i would like to have

and the content that we put out you're very close to it i think sometimes i i have like you know some glimpses of what it would be like to be the sask king but i'm i'm only a fraction of what you are man so hats off to you no everyone tomorrow we'll stop or we'll start filming and he's just on a different level. I'm like, who are you right now? Yeah, that's Josh all the time. Yes. I was going to say, and so funny, because before, before I put my camera up, he's very calm, mellow, like, in real life, he's just this calm person, but as soon as that phone comes up, he knows it's time to put on. You know, I end the talent when it comes to the TikTok, so I just got to be on. All right, tell us, how'd you guys meet? Do you want me to take it away?

I'll start it and then you can give it a little bit more character. So it was a music video and the director sent me like 10 girls and I was like, try to get that one to be my girlfriend for the video. She's gorgeous. Well, you've got to start. You're a musician. I'm a model. That's how I'm a musician.

She's a model. I kind of thought it happened. You know, I needed a girlfriend for the video. So they sent me that. I was like, tried to get this girl. She came out, met the first day. And I guess that's kind of like, we remain friends for. Yes.

So we met, I was, um, we had a little age difference. So I was still in high school. Josh for them. Nice, Josh. Didn't know that I want to pick their picture. No, I mean, it was all professional. My mom was there. It was like, I, that's how we met through the photographer and the videographer.

And then, um, after the shoot, we obviously kept in touch on like Twitter, social media, what you can do. And then I would say what was like almost two years later. I was, I was in New York. You were doing your thing. And then finally, I was like, let me see what Josh Herbert's up to. And I just sent him a text. And literally, we went on one date.

Well, you stood me up the phone. Oh, I stood up the couple of times. So I was like, already I had, my place was immaculate. I had a dinner plan where we were going to go out. And like 20 minutes before she was supposed to show up, she's like, hey, sorry, my friend's actually having a party. I can't make it. And I was like, my whole day, you know, I was like so excited.

And I was like, you know what? I'm never talking to her again. and then I texted her one more time the following week. And it was actually my mom the entire time was like, you know what, Abby, that Josh Herbert that you met a couple years ago, he's so sweet. Like, what's he up to? And she always, like, kept in track of his music and what he was doing.

And I'm like, ew, mom, no. Like, oh, he's just, he's just Josh. And then finally, it's like, okay, let me give him a try and give him a shot. And then here we are. Literally, we went on one date. And then I think I moved in the next month. Like, it happened. Yeah, I was in college at the time.

Yeah, I was in. trying to do college, like community classes and stuff. So, yeah, it happened really quick. And here we are now, five, six years later, five or six years later. Now, we lost track. I don't know. Yeah, here we are. And that's how it happened.

It's a weird, weird story for sure. What happened on the first date to move that fast? Well, you know, we actually, you know, I am of the, shorter stature. How tall are you, Josh? Well, let me answer that. I will say, Josh will say about 5-9. I'm 5-9.

I'm like 5-10-ish, 5-9. Seven. Five-seven-ish. So anyway, I was younger, you know, a little bit self-conscious about it. But as I got older, you know, truly accepted. I'm way more agility being this close to the ground. Sure, there's some perks. A lot of, you know, plus.

to it. But that being said, I was wearing, I wore these like country boots when I went out on really nice boots. I went out on tour with the Dixie Chicks and I was like, I need a nice pair of like boots. So I bought these nice boots. They had like a, what would you say, three inch? They're heel. They're not high heels. They're boots. They're really nice. Like Western kind of I wore them. Mind you, I have carpet floors. I wore them when she came over. And that was the first thing. Like she never let's like. I'll never forget like walking in the house and like going in the living room and him sitting on the couch and still having like his boots on. They had my legs crossed.

Yeah, his legs crossed and it's like boots were just like going like this. Oh my God. But now I mean, and that's the number one thing that we get on TikTok is, oh my God, are you taller than him? Oh, she's tall. And it's like for I don't know why that became a thing. But we kind of ran with that on TikTok too because then people are like, oh my God, I'm in the same type of relationship or I'm taller than my husband. husband and make this normal and I'm like well it should be normal it's not it's just why should our height matter who it's all about who loved you and how you're treated and you know but to answer back to your question I think we just had such a comfortable relationship like usually when I'd

go out on dates which was very rare I would get like super nervous and like fidgety I'm very a very anxious person but with Abby it was always like just like no anxiousness it was just like really nice to be around her and I never felt like nervous so I think there was just a connection we both had it was just very it was a very comfortable yeah like mesh it just worked did did you or did you not sing to her on your first date probably for sure I probably played you a couple songs I was working on or something I think he did for sure a couple times yeah what a casual flex to just say I was I was on tour with the Dixie Chicks and then I got these boots. We started dating and then like three months later, he went on tour and I became like this groupie with his mom and we just traveled everywhere with him.

So that's why everything just moved so quick because it wasn't like your typical first couple months of dating. It was like honeymoon and then just traveling the country together. Like, hey, let's go to travel the whole country. My dad literally bought an RV with like some of them. like saving his money and he was our tour bus driver it was insane no way that's awesome it was i wish we had the eyes and followers five years ago for this tour because it could have been a whole television series his dad is it just a character in himself and it would just it would have been wow he like huge cigars rides harleys he's just nuts and he was our tourbuster he barely slept

he just lived on coffee in southern comfort yeah dang okay fast forwarding though i want to i want to get through the relationship because I have a lot of questions about social media and relationships. How long did you guys date before you got engaged? Two years. Yeah, two years. How did the proposal happen? So it was New Year's Eve and he was one of those guys. And we actually went out to a club, but I thought it was going to be like really nice. You know, we paid money to get tickets to go to his downtown Pittsburgh. It was actually zero degrees out that night. I remember. It was freezing. And we got in. I was thinking it's real classy. We're going to bring in the new year. It was like a nightclub, like not classy. I was

like, I can't propose you. This is like, no. So my cousin was there. I was like, dude, I can't propose it. He's like, I don't blame you. I wouldn't want to remember this place. So I told everyone like, hey, I'm going to say I'm not feeling well. And I'm going to go propose to Abby because they have a ball that like they don't drop it in Pittsburgh. They have to raise it. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Um, cool. So I got it. And I believe, I believed you because like, I knew that was, that's not our scene. We don't go to clubs. Like, yeah. He's like, Bobby, this is too much. And I was like, okay, whatever. Let's go. Yeah. Like, I didn't do much of it. And I had the Uber drop us off at the ball. She's like, no, I thought like, we're right here. Let's just watch the ball. And she was like, oh, okay. And then right at, uh, right when they started to raise it, I went down and proposed. And somebody filming the ball actually got our proposal. No way. Oh, that's awesome. Can I send this to you? And I shouted my phone number and he sent it to us. So we had the video and pictures of like the live.

Yeah. So it was all perfect. But, um, yeah. It was a wow. And then we got pizza. Oh, yeah. We got pizza. And came back and celebrated with my parents and ate pizza.

They didn't actually sounds like a perfect night. Sounds like a really good thing. I'm down for that. Yeah, it's perfect. We got pizza. I have, I have a picture of my ring on top of the pizza box. I was like, look at this. That's cute.

That's really cute. Abby, uh, you, you posted a TikTok about, your journey and evolution and how much Josh has helped you in that. Can you share a little bit about that? Yeah. So we met when I was 17, 18, and then we lost touch. And I didn't go to college, but I was doing the college things that you do because all my friends were at Ohio State.

And I got really deep into alcohol. I mean, I know at that age a lot of kids do, but mine was to be. the extent where I got dropped from all my agencies in New York because I wasn't taking care of myself. I was just really upset and just like a sad person. And I was trying to numb that sadness with the alcohol. And that's when my mom kind of came in because I was just hanging around not the right people. Nothing was positive. Nothing positive is going on in my life. My mom was like, why don't you? That's when she's like, why don't you go out with that Josh Herbert? Like, reach out then. It seems like he's a good guy. You know, I was like, okay, you know, let's,

let's try it out. And then, as we said, we did great. We moved really quick. But our first couple months into dating, I was still drinking like crazy. And we were, I, it was bad things, but I had a fake ID. And we were, and Josh was like, do not use this. Do not. use this. And I was like, no, let's go, let's go. Because I just wanted to be on his level. Yeah. And a cop took it. Josh, Josh went inside first. I was like, I'm out of. The cop took me. And then finally one night, we, there was just a big blowup. I drank too much. It was like a party with my friends and your friends. It was for your birthday. And I embarrassed myself tremendously. And Josh was like this. I was in the car at this. It was like a house party type thing.

Never wanted to go out. And I was like. I was literally in my car, like, well, this is it for us. Like, it was, she was just so beyond drunk and like, well, because I never was taught how to properly drink. I, I never knew how to just have, even when I, I just didn't know how to have one drink. It was like, it was like, would get very aggressively angry. Yes. And very mean and like for no reason, like.

Because that's how I learned a drink was drinking and then getting really sad or really mad. So then he sat me down. He's like, this will not work. All the things. And that next morning, I was like, done. I'm done with alcohol. And literally everything fell into place.

Then I got healthy again. I got back on track modeling agencies. I got signed. And that's how we are here today. And I didn't drink for a year and a half, like not even like, I wouldn't go near alcohol. So I became the DD. And recently, I'm like, okay, I'm trying to learn how to be that adult to have one drink. But it's still, like, for me, I personally don't see the point.

But now you're in, like, a better place. Like, we went to a winery over the summer, and she can have, like, you know, a glass or, you know, two last of a wine and be, like, very funny, bubbly, fun. Normal, like, a normal person. I think it was where she was in her life and kind of, like, what was going on when that would bring that side out when she drank. Yeah. And now, you know, she's in a much better place. I think it's like, you know. And I feel like if it wasn't for Josh, I, I mean, if I did not go.

on that date with Josh, me and my mom always are like, where would I be right now? I don't even know. It would be totally different story. Modeling, I would not be modeling. I probably would have been, went to school, dropped out. Who knows? So we are very thankful for the SAS King. And like I said, I know I was young and a lot of kids go through that, but to the extent of what I was doing, it was just not. I went through four years in college. She was far more than the college drinker. Yeah. Interesting.

Josh, how did you approach? I mean, I know, like you said, it was a blowup of a night and it was one experience that kind of led you there. But did you approach it as the significant other that wanted her to change? Or was it a deal breaker for you in a like a turning point for your guys' relationship? Does that make sense? Yeah, I think deep down, I wanted to be like more consoling. and might be like, hey, but I had to be, like, forceful and be like, hey, if this is what you're going to continue, like, it's not going to work between us.

Meanwhile, in the back of my head, I'm like, I'll make it work whatever we have to do, but I want to start because it really, like, that person that I saw wasn't her, and it was just, like, very off-putting, you know, and of course I would do anything to work with her, but I had to throw that there because I had to put the ball on her court. if she really wanted me and wanted to continue this life we had, you know, she had to make a change. I mean, you kind of touched on it, like you weren't spending time with the right people. And you guys are about to, I feel like you guys are just maybe 18 months, maybe like a year to 18 months behind us in phases of life. You guys are about to have your first kid.

Get ready. Yeah, yeah. But like, get ready. The whole concept of surrounding yourself with good people. whether you're looking for a spouse or friends. I don't know how you guys have done with like finding couple friends since you've been married, but it remains true even when you have a kid.

So I would maybe start looking now for friends that have kids because I mean, it's just the schedule wise, it's different and you can still for sure make it work. But that's been something that Sean and I feel like are really thankful for that we have found friends that are in a similar phase as we are. and it's like just they help you with wisdom they help you like in a lot of different ways so I also think that falls into place though so I don't think you actively have to search for that you've probably already learned pregnant that other pregnant women come out of the woodworks and they're

like oh my gosh you're pregnant I'm pregnant too every pregnant woman wants to relate to another pregnant woman and the same thing happens when you have a kid like Josh you're going to run into a guy at the park and he's going to be like oh you're a dad I'm a dad about dad thing wait check this out i just came with an idea this could be genius okay imagine like a tinder for new parents that's perfect what do we think that's called peanut oh dang okay my bad shoot oh wait i think yeah is there a app okay i don't know if you do that i've heard of peanut but i'm not sure you know we can start our on dad app where dad yeah they want to hang out What are you doing, babe?

I'm looking for dad staying out. I like what he looks like. Yeah. I'm actually very lucky because two of our really close friends, she's giving birth any second. Oh, that's amazing. His best man had a baby in October. So, yeah, our friend group is.

That's awesome. And then we have how many nieces and nephews. Yeah, my sister has four kids. And then my other sister has one. And my sister has one. So, yeah, it's just been around by children. That makes things a lot easier just because the relatability factor is there. I am curious.

I want to tell a story real quick. I got to tell a story about you mentioned bumping into another dad at the park. And I've never told the story publicly, but I just want to have it out there and see if it's worth continuing to tell. But this might have to get cut. Drew and I were in a real strong phase where we'd go to the park like once or twice a day, right? And you do. It's like, all right, there's the dads are. like just kind of, you know, moping around like they're just there watching their kids. And so,

you know, you start talking sports when you see someone wearing a logo. Anyway, I saw a guy who went to the same school I did. I was like, oh, you're a Vandy fan, huh? He was like, yeah, we start talking and our kids are right next to each other. And he had an adopted, like, he had an adopted maybe like three-year-old Indian boy. And so I look over and Drew is playing with him with a stick in her mouth, like has a stick in her mouth. And then I don't look at her for like 10 minutes or so. And I look back when I finally do. When I finally do, I see she has taken this little Indian boy who had an amputated hand and removes the stick from her mouth and lifts up his hand or his arm and puts his arm in her. And I was like, I was just, I turned to the dad. I was like, I don't know what to do

about this situation. Anyway. He came home and told me that, and I was like, shut up. Oh, my God. She didn't bring his hand home. She's the one new. I don't know how I would handle that. Was the dad just laughing?

I mean, you have to let her do that to your special arm, hon. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. But anyway. Yeah, Andrew's just staying there like, ugh. Yeah, I'm glad. I wasn't there. I wouldn't have done well in that situation. Yeah.

Yeah, no. Get ready for a kid, though, because all those situations happen. And you're like, I, sorry. Yeah. So I'm curious. Social media, well, on TikTok. So you guys were on my TikTok long before we ever even, like, met.

And yes, I've been watching all your TikToks for a long time. But you posted a TikTok about, or multiple, like the series of, it was basically a phase in your life where it sounded like Abby you were really ready to have a kid and Josh wasn't yes we have talked about this a lot the whole timing of like I'm ready you're not or then you're ready and she's not how did you guys come to be on the same page or did you okay so how that started we were up at your sister's house and out of the state and we were with the nieces and nephews and I saw Josh playing with our niece I was like oh my God This is just killing my heart.

This is a cutest thing. So I was like, oh, let me just make a TikTok video asking, Josh, when am I going to get one of those? And it just went viral. And I was like, okay, you know, I'm thinking numbers and views. I'm like, okay, that's cool. So let me try it just one more time. And for me, I wanted a baby the second we got married me.

I've always said I want a baby by 21, 22. Like that was like my entire life. Now looking back, that's so young. But how I grew up thinking. And then when I made the second one, it went viral again. And people then were like, oh, baby Herbert, baby Herbert. And we've talked about it. But with modeling, I was like, I want my career to go as long as possible,

which I was on a plane every week. I just didn't realistically think. I was like, career comes first. And then COVID hit, stopped modeling, stopped working. I was like, okay, maybe this is the time to do it and start trying. And then after, it was like the summer, I kept saying, okay, Josh, it's time. It's time for me to get off my birth control. And literally the whole time, he's like, yeah, sure, sure, whatever.

But like on TikTok, it did better when he said, no. I'm not getting any younger. Those were all just like fake plan. But they did not. There was a part of like truth to them to that. Like, yes, I wanted a kid. You know, I'm 30 years old. I thought I would have more kids by now.

But that being said, I still, like, in the back of my mind, I wasn't quite ready because of my situation, right? Like, you know, when you think about it, I'm always like, okay, well, I need X amount of bank for the kid, like all this stuff. And I had just got let go from my job during COVID. So literally, she's starting to be all these TikToks. And it was like at the end of my job, like I was known as Mr. TikTok by the end of my job. It was like a corporate job. So I got let go from that job during COVID. and you know it was kind of like we definitely can't have a kid i don't even have a job you know

yeah and um because i was pretty much all the income with modeling and that that's another thing it was like well how does that how is that going to work and i we just kind of sat down and was like when are you really ready you'll never be fully ready because you know we always want more and always want more and more and more so finally after just what was that oh july july can't Because I think I posted the first one in June. And then come July, we were both like, all right, this is the time to do that. And we were starting to, like, make some money on. Yes, yeah.

So I was like, okay. Financially, we were getting better. I was like, okay, well, there's like comfort here. Like, I'm not going to have to, like, you know. But I also was diagnosed with PCOS. So I, in the back of my mind, kept saying, Josh is going to take forever. Josh is going to take forever. You don't know.

You don't know. You don't know. There's so. I then started researching. And then you go on that spiral, there's infertility. Infertility is like you just don't know, too. you start trying. So I kind of pushed that on him as well. I'm like, let's just start now because he could take a couple months. And we were very, very lucky in our journey. And it happened, you know,

when we started trying. And so that's how here we are now. It's kind of just like, let's start trying and then here we are. So we're so we're so pumped for you guys. And yeah, that's pretty amazing how that worked out i am curious how how do you guys balance like social media versus reality how do you guys approach that that's been a big struggle in our relationship um who's more prone to like filming and wanting to make a video me one thousand percent i i i'm miss you abby i'm with you josh i'm the director the producer the editor everything like josh is the talent yeah that's It's always that. You guys are the talent, but you are getting better.

I'm getting better now because when we first started, right, I was like doing my music stuff. Like I was on Viti before Vind and I'm, you know, Vine, like I did all these things, right? And then I was like, oh, there's a new app to time. Like, not another app. Like, you know, I just spend music to have fun and stuff, you know, and barely post my Instagram. I do stories, you know, and it's mainly like my friends. But now I have following from Abby and I'm like, oh, that's cool. but it was never like that part of my life was kind of like that chapter closed like I wasn't

trying to like impress girls on a app anymore like I was and I think at the beginning there was a lot of animosity she was like we got to film this same we got to film it and I would get like very frustrated I'm like no like we're not doing that the thing with TikTok is I'm sure you guys know you can't be creative on TikTok you have to stick with the same concept every time like If I went on TikTok and just posted a video of me, like, changing outfits, it wouldn't do well. Like, people don't, they want to see Josh. They want to see those reactions, those pranks, those, you know, the baby things. And that's where Josh had a hard time.

He's like, just go do something by yourself. Like, why do I need to be in this? I'm like, well, you have, like, you have. That's just what it is on TikTok. And then it's slowly over time with the creator fund on TikTok and started coming in just from TikTok. and then we got management and then brand deals and things now it's like it is a job it's our career that's what we do full time but the only bad thing about TikTok and this just might be me

because I'm I'm just crazy about it but like I get such a big fear of not posting every single day on TikTok all the other social media apps you could go days without posting but like something with TikTok like if you don't post every day like they're like where are you where you've gone like what's going on so I think that might I don't know if that's just me. That's just me. And you look at all the big couple creators on TikTok, they post at least every single day. And it's all new.

It's all new. Long Bandy Twizzlers candy keeps the fun going. Keep the fun going. the fun going first of all i love the mentality abbey and has been a five-year struggle of like it's like uh you kind of have to just gently massage the idea of like hey can we film a video and like like just softball it and then kind of see what sticks but my favorite thing is babe if we film this give me five minutes of your time i won't bother you the rest of the night that's why you should try that you should try that but you but you but you

I was like, wait, I, my turn, my turn. Go ahead. So with the whole balance of social versus reality, this is something we struggled with and still do. And I think it's hard to find that balance when your career is social media. So your career is sharing your guys' life, scripted and not. So you kind of, you stretch certain things, you exaggerate certain things. How do you draw the line at home and know. that you guys are your couple and you're just at home and it's like the life you're living

and how like where is your line drawn what rules have you guys or boundaries have you developed to know that it's not being recorded it is real it's not the fabrication side it's not the content creation side of your relationship I think for us is getting down we're getting on a good schedule um before all this like every hour like Josh I have an idea let's film it right now And now it's like, okay, I think ahead. I'll send him a list of some ideas and I'll be like, okay. There's more planning. There's more plan.

I'm like, I want to film one. I went down to one TikTok a day and I'm like, let's film up before noon. That way I won't bother you the rest of the evening. We have the good light for the day. Yeah. For noon. And TikTok, we got down to a science. Like I can film.

We can get it done and filmed in 20 minutes. And then he doesn't be, he's not bothered with the editing. I'm fine with doing that. on my own. And then YouTube, we got into a routine of filming Mondays. We film it all on Monday, get it edited, done, and then we post on Thursdays. So that has been the, before it was like, oh crap, Thursday's coming up. It's Wednesday. We got to film YouTube right now. Everything was like scattered. It was just like, it was a mess. But I think as much frustration that came with that in our relationship, there was a part, because it was mainly like me,

like the one who's like no i'm not doing a video yeah like the sassy and like didn't want like i had no interest in i'm like no i'm not doing that but then i saw how important it was to her and then i saw it like growing i'm like okay there is something here and what i kind of come down to that you know grounds me is before the corporate job i had i was uh working slinging smoothies at a gym and then before that i was driving uber like working paycheck to paycheck to paycheck answering to people that were just so mean sometimes to you and like didn't care. And I think back to that, I'm like, okay, I'm working from home with my wife doing like a little TikTok and I'm going to complain.

Like think of where I was like a year ago, two years ago, how small I felt, you know, in my life and how unhappy I was where I was established at the time. So I go back to those moments and then it makes everything easier because I'm like, this isn't a big deal. So it's like a lot of pulling from that to be grateful for our situation. But I feel like we're pretty good. Like, I feel like we're not filming all day, every day. Like we literally, we have windows.

Like, like I said, by noon, I'll give me an hour window to film with TikTok. And then YouTube, we know it's about two hours on a Monday. And then weekends, I just started, I just started this new thing. Maybe weekends, I think, are where we don't post anything at all on TikTok. We leave Saturday and Sunday to just be with each other, not worry about the next trend know what's happening. And then once Monday starts, it's like a work day again. So that's our new schedule we're trying to get on. And our nights are super coupley. Like, yeah, yeah. I cook dinner. Josh says dinner. I do the dishes. He does it all.

Like, like, like a hour of a show or something. And it's just like a very, you know, we have a dog, so take him out. And it's just like a very family. But everything that helped was getting that schedule and organization. And it didn't just come naturally to us. Like I reached out to other big creators that are on YouTube and on TikTok and like, I'm like, what do you guys do? Because we are just fighting so much. And I feel bad. Like, I'm to the point where it's like, I'm bothering him and I don't want to be a bother. But I'm like, this is what you dreamed of.

You wanted to work from home and work with each other. This is exactly what I wanted. So I wanted to work with them. You know, it's like a mad like, I can't imagine if he was putting a phone in my face every second. We got to do this. We got to do that. And you know, some days my hair is not, you know, quite like it.

That's what I'm doing. Yeah. It's like, I'm trying. we're meeting in the middle of like me understanding okay he's upstairs doing something like music maybe not barge in and say we need to do this right now that's why we have this schedule at this time please just do this one little video for me and then it's so mature and organized of you guys we still kind of are not on that type of rhythm and we're jealous of it but if i could offer some unsolicited advice because again i think we're maybe one step ahead of you and

the social... In the family size. I'm not... Let me rephrase. Yeah. We're not one... They're killing us on social media, no doubt. As far as timeline of doing this, we've been doing it a little longer.

And it is a... It's not a great place to be, to like, be handcuffed to the algorithm of, you know, oh my gosh, TikTok forces me to post every single day. So we're going to do that at the expense of our relationship. So just realize, like, maybe you lose. 5% of your viewers, but it's probably worth it because you're like the way I kind of think about it anytime Sean's giving me a hard time not wanting to film. I'm like, well, you know, our whole, our whole content is about our marriage and our like how we parent. And so if,

if I am degrading that, like it's just not a good situation. So, you know, I guess it's maybe a priority thing, but I am curious, what, how does a TikTok creator fund work? So it's so random. I know to, you guys are in it, right? You got over a million. No,

neither of us have a million followers. Yeah, but we might post every eight months. We just started TikTok like six weeks ago. We're taking a lot of info from you guys. So just, you know, if you see that.

Jump on every little trend. Yeah. Oh, I'm still, I'm still really hesitant. I'm sorry. I'm like, do it,

do it, do it. The TikTok creator fun, it's really, insane. It's I think you guys should be able to join it. I think you only need like 30,000 followers on TikTok. Go ahead. Yes, you can make a lot of money on TikTok. It's nuts. Like one video. On her account, I make $1.87. He's like, he doesn't post. So even if you don't post, you can make like a dollar or two every day. But like my posting every day, my video,

ranges from like $500 to like $400, you know, like $300. So it adds up if you post every day. And it pays out, it's like two months behind. It's like this, you know, 60. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then that's 60. You should look into it. It's a nice little. I want to have an extended conversation about TikTok.

Maybe actually we'll just come to Pittsburgh and do some. We'll do some YouTube collabs if you help us with TikTok. but what is your favorite social media platform? Is it TikTok because the following? Mine's Instagram. I just feel like that's the one that's kind of been like more personal, right? And like I know people on there that are in my life that, you know, I look at their stuff and like laughing. You know, so that's like my most like personal form of social media.

It's the only place I really connect with my friends. Facebook don't use it all. And TikTok's cool, but it's just like somewhere like on my. my page i just put out random videos of like songs i'm working on or something just to get feelers yeah ticot causes me um a lot of stress as you can see because it's fit the most following and it has that stigma of like i mean i don't like you said i don't have to i just think that's just the way we've been doing i just love you get that um that rush every time you post a video and it gets those millions and millions of views you're like ooh i want to do this one and that next one so ticot i

love TikTok. It's where a following is, but I really, really love YouTube, even though that's the hardest, hardest, like algorithm and, like, way to, like, figure it out. Yeah. But I love it. Another, another word of advice. You guys should kind of do a different cut for your, for a Facebook page. If there's any following on Facebook, it's probably worth doing and it takes 10 minutes. But anyway, we could, dude, I am a geek for social media and all like the frequent. and metadata. But anyway, I love it. I could go ahead.

Have you guys had the conversation yet of how baby girl will live on social media? Yes. I don't want it. We go back and forth. Yes, you want it. He says that he's such a liar. That's what I call him. He's a little liar.

He had, we have the name. But, you know, it's not. On TikTok or Instagram? Is there both? We have. Well, I don't think. Oh. you know the name of the baby no no no i'm saying we have the name of the baby and as soon as i told

josh because i got to pick the name he made an instagram handle for this baby you know nothing it's like but he's over here oh i don't want her on any social media he got the instagram handle so i just well i think on no no no on ticom i would be a little more nervous on TikTok. I'm all for doing Instagram. Exactly like what you guys do. I think that's the way I'm going to do it. Yeah, I think if we follow in your footsteps, keep it like family, very family, yeah, oriented. Well, there's been a new thing on TikTok right now. Maybe get a tan, Josh, at some point. Yeah. There's this little girl on TikTok that I follow. Her mom runs the account and she is the cutest little baby ever, but her account just got banned because TikTok just did this whole new

law of if you're under 13 years old, your account's banned. And the mom ran the account, but it was basically like, well's account. So I'm all for that. I love having more security around children and on social media. So I don't think that will be the route we go. But I don't know. It's hard to say now. I don't know until we have her and see her and how things are going to go.

I'm not a plan ahead person. I will tell you, we are the same way, and you'll question it every single day of your baby's life. Yeah. Like, we had a plan. It changed a million times. We didn't want social media. And then we did. And then we started something.

And we'll post something on a Monday and on Tuesday. I'm like, I don't want to post anything ever. Yeah. I think you'll constantly be challenged with that dilemma. I mean, what a weird time to be alive. Like, nobody, we don't know how. that's going to all end like I nobody's done this before ever in history so I think the important thing is just like do it with thought and like don't just well I mean we made mistake even on

TikTok um before we like really blew up I was just giving every single detail about our life and just posting posting it out there and then someone like took our story and like switched it and and changed their words and then it got like to this level of like of switching our whole how we met story and i'm like that was like the big lesson of oversharing on the internet and realizing how easy it is for someone to take something and completely twist it um because before that we never i wasn't really on the internet like i had instagram but it was like not to the extent that it is now and the eyes that are watching and how easy it is for someone to save a video and and edit it, especially on TikTok.

Well, Anthony, that was like our first thing. Like, she posted a video and it was like a trend she was doing. And the way she worded it was like met when I was 23, she was 17. But the way she worded it sounded like we dated. She moved in. We had a baby. Like that's how they screwed it. So then it came into this whole story.

And it was just like terrible. Like people were flooding my DMs on stuff. I'm like, what is this? What's going on? Like just saying awful hurtful things. And like that's what really turned me off to like TikTok. I was like, this is just insane, like, how these people are coming out of the woodwork, like making up stuff.

And it was kind of scary to see, like, this powerful, like, demonic thing growing from this false, you know, all these false stories and stuff. So it was really weird. Yeah. We know the power of the internet. Yeah. Obviously not a great situation, but maybe, hopefully it taught you some lessons that whenever, whatever happens with the baby, like, it'll have prepared you a little more as opposed

to getting blindsided. what is for you guys we haven't talked to many couples whose career is social media as well which i love what is the hardest part about having your guys's career be social media what's the um what's the biggest challenge with your relationship with your guys's career um i think it's just i mean kind of touching on earlier it was getting right treating it like a job before we were just like oh you know go with the flow and like doing stuff getting really aggravated with each other because we both weren't on the same page at the same time like yeah can we do it in an hour like can we do that like i'm doing so no let's do it now

you know it was just kind of like a little more bickering and now it's a you know we're treating it like a job so having the things scheduled out a little bit more you know day to day things happen things change but we didn't look i didn't look at it as a job now doing that that's our job we do it i'm working with my best friend in the world like how how lucky and we treat it like that so it keeps our relationship separate you know and sometimes like when you come home from long day work doing something else you're like i just need time you know to do something alone and we do have those times like i'm just like i need to go upstairs like i'm going to go play guitar and cry in my room for 20 minutes now come out and i'll be fine so we have like you know that time

but it's healthy time like hey babe i'm going to go out on a run do my thing she'll come down like, hey, I'm going to go work out downstairs. You know, so I think it's finding the time for ourselves to recharge our battery separate is what helps us, you know, be able to work all day together, have our relationship. And I think the hardest thing, like, outside of that, too, I'm not sure if you guys experienced this, but, like, some, like, family didn't understand in the beginning, like, that we're actually working. You're not making money.

You know, it's like they think, oh, we're just sitting at home on her phones all day, just, like, having fun. so that was like a challenge i would say like family wise like getting everyone on board like now everyone's so supportive and understands but like in the beginning they're like you're doing what you guys like josh why aren't you on indeed dot com looking for a job like you're 30 years old you have a job like you have a kale on the way i'm like no like this is my job like internet's not a job yeah that it is but okay yeah so that's like was a struggle too in the beginning with being a social media couple is like not not everyone understands like super new our our family both

them are from blue collar like working my family grew up in the construction industry did that so like really didn't understand anything about technology and like you can make money online doing content creation all this you know type of stuff so it was a bit different to try to like explain that yeah how was the career change for you Josh like really you kind of were forced you kind of forced to go all in on the social media thing, but I'm curious how the process was. Yeah, it was like, you know, I've always like since tour, like before tour, I worked for my family business. They do home, you know, they build homes in the area. So I did that like my whole life. My grandfather started it. Kind of did that. Never really had like a real job, you know, after college, played hockey

in college and did all that. And then came back, worked for my family business. But it was always like, I can't have a full job because like, I got to do the music. You know, and I was like always, you know, pushing time to do music, got, you know, my break. opening for the Dixie Chicks after that you know had some management and it's the music industry it's very tough very competitive a big struggle too in our relationship in the beginning before social media is when Josh wanted to do music all the time I was the realistic one coming in being like you need to go get a real job like there's no money coming in and it was so it was it was tough after tour what was happening is like unless you're a really big star like you have a lot a lot of

Spotify plays because they pay very little. It's very difficult to make a living in music. If you're digging out every night, maybe, but not in the pandemic world. So after tour, I spent time in Nashville, L.A. wasn't making money. I was getting my trips kind of like comped and paid for, but then we had a town, you know, a house back here we were paying on and stuff. And so like money was just slowly. I wasn't making any money. So it was like difficult. I'm like, all right, I need to come back home. And that's when I was like, well, I still got to do the music. So I was driving Uber trying to make like, you know, ends meet. I did that.

Then I worked for making juices, like just bebopping. You were in a car. I was selling cars. I was just like, what is going on right now? He did. He got, when he needed a good job, he did. But it was always like he wanted that, we've always wanted that stay at home, work together, freelance lifestyle.

And finally like that kind of flourished. And it wasn't quite. how I saw it, right? But then, like, in the back of my mom, like, this is exactly what you wanted. You wanted something you could work from home, essentially, work, you know, with your wife and then be able to have time to do music. And I have way more time than I ever did working part-time when I was having music, you know, doing music now than I ever did. So it's like really given me a boost of like energy and pride and, you know, confidence. Like, okay, we don't have to worry about buying groceries this week. You know, it's, it's cool. Like, I can make one TikTok. I can

make a TikTok and make $1.87. Yeah, my boy. So it's, I think there's a lot of, in my own mind, like humbling, you know, and this to factor in, right? Like where I was, you know, mentally and stably to where I am now. So I think it's important to touch a little bit on the past of where you were to accept and indulge in where you are now, if that makes sense. Dang, that's deep right there, man. Now you guys have a lot more going on than just the content creation. Tell me about RelateCo and let me just hold this up real quick. Hold on.

Herbert Candlecoe right there. This is the Tiger Moss flavor. Wait. Oh, that's good right there. That is. You get that on the sniff scale, 10. That's nice, man. It kind of tingles your nostrils in a good way.

Yeah. So RelateCo is. our um we didn't like to use the word merch but basically merch um we didn't want to go your typical like t-shirts with the herberts on it we wanted to be more creative and more of like a brand like a lifestyle brand so we went with relato because our number when we started ticot it was like we weren't posting those videos where i was pranking josh and josh was like oh no babe it's okay i love you so much it was like he was doing real reactions of what you would do of so much you would do if someone was getting prank.

So everyone was like, you guys are so relatable. My husband's the same way. My girlfriend's the same way. So that's why we're like, oh, let's go with Relayco being relatable. And yeah, that was a fun process trying to figure out the fonts, the colors, the everything. Josh is very particular about his fonts. Yeah, I'm a perfectionist. He's a, you have a whole font book.

I don't even know what's called. I'm into typography. Typography. There we go. Well, that was a fun process. And then Herbert Candleco is all him. Well, that was like another thing. I was like, well, I want to be able to do music.

So I need like a hustle to be able to make money to pay rent. You started candles before TikTok. Yeah, I started candles because I was like, one, I love candles. I burn them in the studio and like doing stuff. And, you know, going to like stores, like Target, I'm like 25 bucks for this crappy candle. Like I can make that. So I just did research. And it's like a fun.

I'm very creative artistic person. So it was fun to like make them, brand them. And then I have friends, go. can I buy some? And I'm like, sure. And I started like having more people inquire and then a couple local like farm markets inquired. Before I knew it, like I turned my basement into a candle factory.

Oh, yeah. I was a basement into a candle factory. It's pretty crazy. I mean, I can endorse the candles. They're really good. Yeah. And I didn't even know they were yours. Yeah.

Yeah. It's what the struggle has been with with COVID is the getting the vessels, getting the thing. Yeah. So like the, I don't know if you guys, I sent you the little jar ones. I had to pivot to because before those, I had like really nice whiskey glasses, but the manufacturer couldn't get any more in. So I had to like pivot. So it's been crazy. And then I couldn't get the certain type of wax in because of the pandemic. So it was really hard to navigate around, you know, manufacturers because a lot of things are out, you know, so I had to like totally change down.

Someone's like, can I get the same panel? I'm like, sorry these, I can't get these vessels anymore. I had to change. So that being said, that's kind of what I'm into now is I'm finding I can get enough of for the launch of 2020. I'm going to launch. 21. Sorry, 2021. I'm still stuck in 2020. So I can launch, you know, a new set.

You know, you find what works. And I think I had, I think I had 12 cents. A lot. It's a lot. So I'm going to, like, narrow down what cents are selling and what sense work. And I introduce a couple, like, holiday ones are huge. Like the pumpkin patch time, I was selling pumpkin ones, like Christmas time. So I'm finding, you know, the holidays are really big sale markets.

People want to buy like a St. Patrick's Day, like whiskey candle, you know, stuff like that. Are you a big whiskey guy? I do dabble in whiskey. I do like my beer, but I enjoy a nice whiskey. You're dry free or something. What are you guys calling it? So it's dry January. Yeah, there is nice.

I'm having a sip of alcohol. It's been good. I like my beer. I don't drink much, but I like beer on the weekends, watching football, like hanging, mainly drink the light beers, you know, a little Mickalob or something like that. Yeah. Do like a little, I make hot toddies at night. little whiskey in my tea just put

funny I'll be like what's that smell? Oh no I'm like you put that in it smells like sharpy I'm like it's whiskey I got I got some whiskey I'll have to have you try but listen I've I I do have an affinity

to both of you guys just I think there's quite a lot of parallels with a like Josh when when I got cut from my first NFL team is the same position I sent up to be an Uber driver I didn't can know like the bills weren't being paid and then we started social media and so anyway it's been good and um if there's any way we can help you guys just whatever i'm not saying we're good at

what we do but we've been doing it for a little bit so you're professionals we haven't been in so we want to learn yeah only you know we we still stumble around here like oh shoot we we have a video that has to live tomorrow and we haven't filmed it yet so We always close with advice for couples who are dating, engaged, or married. So the best piece you've ever been given or would give? Best piece of advice? You're good at this. Probably my best piece of advice was run.

No. That's the hard one. You know, like I think my grandfather said, I mean, you know, just enjoy the little moments they had, you know, just the simple moments, whether it's, you know, the way her reflection is in the kitchen while I'm cooking or something like, you know, he's just said, just, you know, enjoy and cherish the little moments in your relationship because those are the ones you'll remember. Yeah, and I think, I think for me, it would just be learning how to compromise. It's been the number one thing in our relationship. It's like, I could get so mad

and scream or can I just take a step back, take a deep breath and like realize, oh, maybe this can do happen later or another time and meeting halfway. You're not always, I think I'm always right, but it's like the compromising coming into the middle. That was definitely like we had to work on that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because it was either one person or the other. And that will never work. That will never. Or that's just not a healthy relationship. It's always you should be valued on try to, try to understand, okay, if I do, you know, do this TikTok video, Abby's going to be a lot happier. Let's just do it. It's not complaining. It's done. It runs better. Yes. That's good. Wow. Well, thank you so much for your time. We will link Herbertcandal.com down below,

or you can visit there. We'll also link their YouTube channel. I'm excited to follow the pregnancy journey and love the videos you guys have put out so far. And then we'll also just link your dog, Nates, and Instagram. So, yeah, what a cutie. He doesn't barked yet this whole time. He's just chilling over there hanging out. Ours came and sat next to us the whole time, but he's behind the camera now. Yeah.

Oh, thank you. Thanks so much. Yeah, thank you, guys. Great to meet you. Yes. Likewise. Thank you for having us.