Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew - 71 Teddi Mellencamp and Edwin Arroyave

Episode Date: June 24, 2021

This week on Couple Things, we got to chat with Teddi Mellencamp and Edwin Arroyave. You might know Teddi from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. They are very real and open about their relationship and we loved this conversation. Here are a few topics that we cover: - How they met, it's not what you think! - How they grew as a couple - Raising a family in the spotlight - Balancing a work/life balance You can follow them on Instagram here ▶ https://www.instagram.com/tedwinator/?hl=en Teddi's page here ▶ https://www.instagram.com/teddimellencamp/?hl=en ANDD....WE ARE GOING ON TOUR!! And because we’re so excited and we love you guys so much, we are rewarding all our loyal podcast listeners with an exclusive presale. Use the presale password, CTL2022, on any of the ticketing pages to access tickets NOW. This presale period ends Thursday at 10pm!! And tickets go on sale on Friday at 10 am LOCAL TIME! Click here to get your tickets now ▶ https://www.couplethingspod.com/ We are sponsored by these companies that we love. Check them out below: ZOLA ▶ Go to https://www.ZOLA.com/COUPLETHINGS today and use promo code SAVE50 to get 50% off your save the dates. For peace of mind, you’ll receive FREE change the dates with your purchase. Generate Life ▶ This new screening test can detect more than 200 conditions and analyzes your child’s response and sensitivity to more than 40 medications. Now, what are you waiting for, guys? Hurry to https://www.cordblood.com to learn more about CBR's Family Protection Package with ReadyGen today! If you haven’t yet, please rate Couple Things and subscribe to hear more. Follow us on Instagram to keep the conversation going at https://www.instagram.com/couplething... And if you have suggestions/recommendations for the show, send us your ideas in a video format – we might just choose yours! Email us at [e-mail]. Subscribe for more! http://bit.ly/3rnOdNo Follow My Instagram ▶ http://www.instagram.com/ShawnJohnson Like the Facebook page! ▶ http://www.facebook.com/ShawnJohnson Follow My Twitter ▶ http://www.twitter.com/ShawnJohnson Snapchat! ▶ @ShawneyJ Follow AndrewsTwitter ▶ http://www.twitter.com/AndrewDEast Follow My Instagram ▶ http://www.instagram.com/AndrewDEast Like the Facebook page! ▶ http://www.facebook.com/AndrewDEast Snapchat! ▶ @AndrewDEast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No marriage is perfect. No parents are perfect. It's impossible to think that that's true. But if you're continually willing to put in the work with each other, for each other, for yourself, then you're going to be happier, ultimately. And the goal that we all want is peace. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to Couple Things. What's Sean and Andrew? A podcast all about couples. And the things they go through. Today we have Teddy Mellencamp and our husband. Edwin, Arroy of A.

I love this conversation because it started out talking about how they met, which was during a one-night stand. That's right. A one-night stand turned into a marriage and babies. Multiple kids. Yeah, and they're killing it. I actually, one of my favorite things about this conversation is how transparent they were about their dating relationship. They said they went through all of the ups and downs in their dating relationship talking about all the hard conversations. and really like going through the marriage stuff before they ever got there.

So by the time they got married, they felt like they really knew each other, which I loved. Yeah, they were pretty thoughtful. I enjoyed her conversation. And to give you background on Teddy and Edwin, Teddy Mellencamp is the daughter of musician John Mellencamp, classic rock jammer. Yes.

Love his stuff. But she grew up in Indiana. We bonded over that. And then she moved out to Los Angeles when she was 17 to pursue a career in acting. One thing led to another. She ended up being on the TV show, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. And then that's the stand.

ended and she's now created her own health and fitness program called All In with Teddy Mellencamp. She talks about that. She talks about her journey and then also where Edwin falls into that. And also addresses some criticisms that Allend has garnered and her thoughts on that and what her response is. And then Edwin is the founder and CEO of a company called Skyline Security, which is an amazing company. It's very rapidly growing. And both of them have fantastic careers. Yeah, we talk a lot about how they have figured out their work-life balance, how they've figured out raising a family within the spotlight. It was a really good conversation. Yeah, and we will link information on both of them down below.

You can check out their social handles. Also, all the things are up to. I would like to. Well, you were going to say comment of the week? Comment of the week. Yes. Let's do that. So let's see.

Sean, Bobby says that their daughter is a couple weeks younger than Drew. Mm-hmm. And they just had twins six weeks ago. Oh, my gosh. That's like Andrew's dream. Think about that. No, that's three kids under like a year and a half. Yeah.

Props to you guys. But she says you got this. It'll be your new normal and Drew will be the best big sister. And then I also, one more. Shane says that she appreciates Sean how warm and open you are about pregnancy and life. And I'm with her on that. Thank you. Reminder, we are doing comment of the week.

So chime in. We love to hear your feedback. That's why we do it. And if you haven't subscribed to this show and given a rating, please do so on whatever platform. But real quick, before we get started, we have some huge. exciting exciting news that's right couple things is going on tour baby we actually get to meet you guys in person and it's because we're so excited because we love you so much we are going to reward all of you guys with an exclusive pre-sale our loyal listeners here on the podcast you can use code

uh CTL 22 on any of the ticketing pages and access tickets right now the pre-sale period ends Thursday for you this exclusive whatever ticket sale and then the tickets will be available for everyone else on Friday at 10 a.m. So use that code CTL 22. We'll link down below where you can pick those up, but we cannot wait to see your faces. And six different cities is where we're starting.

Yeah, we're starting with six, and we have plans to do a lot more. Jeez. We'll see you guys there. Check it out. So. Without further ado, let's go ahead and rolling this one. With Teddy Mellencamp and Edwin Arroyave. Teddy and Edwin, or should I say Edward,

I know there's a little, you know, I know there's a little backstory behind that. We can get into it. It is a pleasure to meet you. I want to start out. Teddy, you may be the only other person that we've had on this show

who's from Indiana. I grew up in Indianapolis myself and I know you were born there. Is that correct? I was born in Bloomington, Indiana. Oh my gosh. Go. Yeah.

Pretty me baby, born in Bloomington, Indiana. And I lived there until the third grade when my parents got a divorce. But I still go back for holidays. and I love it right off Lake Monroe. Do you know anything about Lake Lemon? I don't know anything about Lake Lemon.

Okay. It's in Bloomington and it's where we have a lake house. Anyway, side note. I would like to revisit. I intentionally misnamed you Edward because I know there's a story there. So let's dive into that. I want to hear about the first meeting. Do I start?

Okay. So I was actually recently divorced and it was the day. after Christmas and I was like, you know, kind of like a, I was just sad and just kind of like bummed out. And my girlfriends were like, well, let's let's go out to dinner. And I'm like, oh, okay. So honestly, I went out in a sweater dress that like you lounge around in the house and us. And we went to dinner and I was over served. And then as I'm leaving, they're like, we saw that there was a nightclub next door. And we're like, let's see if we can get in. Because in L.A. nightclubs, I'm sure you guys know. But it.

It's a scene to get in. You have to like, I mean, it's like dropping names or you have to look a certain way. I mean, it's terrible. But I was with twins. So, of course, I got in, because twins always get in. So we walk in. As I'm walking in, Edwin is walking out.

And he, like, does, like, a 3, you know, 180 and follows back behind me. And, you know, the rest is, the rest is history. But the problem was, in the morning, my alarm clock goes off at, 5.40 a.m. because I have to be at work at 6.30. And I'm like, I wake up and I am, this is code red. First, first issue, I saw leather pants on the ground. And I was like, those aren't mine. And that means that whoever's next to me is wearing leather pants. Back in those days. And they're coming back, by the way. So. Leather pants, a V-neck, like, one of those deep low Vs. You remember them. Like,

Uh-huh. Deep low V. Yes. And then to make matters even worse, he had a ponytail, y'all. A pony. That's my kind of guy. The ponytail was to keep the hair straight.

Uh, right. So I'd wear it down sometimes. I mean, but the situation, like I was like, oh my gosh, he had a beanie on last night. I didn't see this ponytail. You know, and then I was like, did he have a beanie on the whole time?

That's really awkward. Okay, Edward, you know, it's been real. I'm obviously going through something, but like, you gotta go. And he's like, one, my name's Edwin, and two, like, he took a cab here. So how am I supposed to start? Oh, that's how it started.

But I really think the fact that, like, he could take a joke and take the fact that, like, I didn't know his name. Yeah. Well, what she didn't tell you is that after that, she did give me a ride and she picked up her friend and the entire time they were just throwing digs at me. I think that my hair.

And then Teddy literally told me this. She said, I don't think we hooked up because I'm not into guys like you. I'm into guys with blonde hair and blue eyes. I've never hooked up with someone like you. Wendy's most important deal of the day has a fresh lineup. Pick any two breakfast items for $4. New four-piece French toast sticks,

bacon or sausage wrap, biscuit or English muffin sandwiches, small hot coffee and more. Limited time only at participating Wendy's Taxes Extra. I didn't have some one like you. I was like, you know, you're not my type. But then, you know, now, now he's my type. What a power move, though, a ponytail with a beanie, though, Edwin.

He's, like he said, he had to keep it straight. That's a beanie. Obviously, don't you guys do that all the time? Yeah. I'm doing right now. Wait, how did the second date happen if we started like this? Okay, so we start running out of time. So I have to pick up my coworker.

I have to, at this point, I rode horses for a living. So I'm like, I have to be at the barn. I also have to appear to be like good at my job, riding horses, helping huge fences. So I'm like, this is all a code rat. I'm getting late. Victoria's in the car with me. And I'm like, where do you live?

And he's like, Woodland Hills. I'm like, where is that? I don't know where that is. Like, I lived in like West Hollywood. And he's like, it's in the valley. I'm like, I don't know how tired to take you there. I'm trying to take you there. I'm trying to Starbucks.

And he's like, Starbub. How about this? Can I just drop you guys at work and then I'll come pick you up later? And I'm like, take your car? Yes. So, I mean, you could tell he's a salesman when like I agree to this. Then he texts me. By the way, this is like texts on a razor phone. So like text take forever. And he texts me and he's like, hey, I'm actually going to have a party at my house today because it was the Saturday or whatever. And he's like, so I'm just going to send a car to pick you up. But then where's your car at this point? At his house! This is either like super creepy or super strategic. Yeah, Teddy.

Don't worry. Maybe not wise choices, but. So then I have a full day of riding horses. Victoria and I now are in the car that Edwin has sent. And he's like, you'll know the house, the one without the address. And I'm like, now this is even sketcher. He's probably stolen my car. The middle of the field.

Yeah. She knows where we're going right now. I'm like, Victoria, you have to come. She's like, how did I get sucked into your one-night stand that's disaster? I'm like, because it's my first one, we got to do this. Wow. And we get there and I go in. There's a huge rager.

Like, I'm like, this is a situation. Then I go. There was a lot of people there. And there was girls wearing bathing suits with platform shoes. That's all I'm going to say. say about it. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You get the scene. For sure. And so then I look on the fridge and there's an ultrasound picture and I'm like, this is wild. My version of the story, it was the day after Christmas and I was staying home and then my friend came from Vegas and he's like, we got to go out.

I'm like, dude, nobody goes out the day after Christmas. And I had just had a baby three weeks prior. and we end up going out. Now I was no longer in the relationship and we end up going out and what would I go on with this? So anyway, we end up going out, we end up going out and I ended up meeting obviously Teddy that night and the funny part is when she came back

and asked where's the ultrasound, you know, I got so nervous about having a picture of an ultrasound in the fridge that I didn't because I was- He lied. I was afraid. of what she was going to say if I told her it was she was three weeks. So I said six months. It's the first thing that popped in my head. Wow. Of course, Teddy meets her, what, two weeks later. And she's a little baby. And she's like, of course, isn't a six month old. I'm like,

I don't know a lot about babies. Like I, you know, I, to be perfectly honest, I never thought that I wanted kids originally, you know, because you probably can understand, like, when you're like really into a sport and it is your life, it was really hard for me to wrap my head around. what life would be outside of that. And it was my complete identity and it was almost like an addiction to winning that I, like, didn't even know that I had. So I didn't know that I even had like a motherly instinct or anything. And then the second I met his daughter, who he told me was six months old, who was actually

six weeks old, that's when I actually was like, okay, I'm going to start taking this guy seriously. And like, he apologized. And that's, you know, we, we, we, may have not started on the strongest ground, but we've spent the last 12 years working on it. And it's really become such an amazing thing. And I'm so, like, they both changed my life. So did you guys kind of air out all the, you know, the luggage pretty quickly? As far as five, five months, four months? I would say the first four or five months. It was

kind of a hot mess, like both of us just, you know, stumbling through whatever it may be. And then, um, I we finally ended up having like a real conversation one of my best friends was getting married and it started getting to the point where like he was trying to organize like a real custody situation with his daughter and everything and i was like we need to like set up a game plan because i'm not i don't i grew up with divorced parents i know what all this does i know you're not divorced i know you weren't with her mother but i need to know what's going on and everybody needs to feel safe and good and protected and that's you know it forced us to make like harder decisions and really figure things out at the beginning versus years down the road within that conversation what how do you even

begin that conversation because you're coming from a divorce family so you have quote unquote your baggage and then you're technically going into a relationship becoming a mom immediately in in some sense of the word even before you're married how do you how do you how do you bring up that conversation of what are we doing? Does that make sense? I think neither of us really grew up in like a traditional, you know, family life. So we didn't really know. And both of, where we really connect is both of us align in the fact that we want to be good parents to our kids and we want to be there for them, 100%. So we want to be able to have fun. We want to be able to, you know, instill the same value, our core values to be the same. So,

regardless of where we were, you know, in our lives and how messy we may have been at the beginning, our core values were the same. So that's really just what we had to talk through. Like, this is where I said, you know, and then because we got serious so fast, he would say things like, well, let's just have a baby. And I was like, well, where I stand is I will not have a baby without being married. I love you. We're moving right along. But like, it's not happening with me that way. So it just, I thought you're going to say, I will not have a baby with a guy who has a ponytail, but that, but then of course, when he joined housewives, he grew it back out again. I'm like, really of all times. So, it's okay. He had a ponytail for the birth of our first

kid, and it was horrendous. So your job, I've never heard of this opinion before. I also had dreadlocks, which is not. I was not a part of that one. That was not the highlight of. Can we please do who wore it best with both of your ponies yes I have to say the video that you guys posted your Insta story of your daughter trying on all your sports

bras I was crying laughing that was so good it's like her thing right now and she knows like she goes directly to that drawer and she'll put on every single one and then she'll get them all on and then she looks at me and says help and I'm like

okay you do this to yourself I mean, she does a better job putting them on than I do. Same. Same. Hold on a parenting side now. Dove is how old now? 14 months. Yeah, 14 months.

So I saw that she was having a tough time sleeping because molars. Yeah. I think we're going through the same thing because Drew has been like, it's been tough this past week. Yeah. We, yeah. What, do you have any tips is what I'm asking? Okay. So the biggest thing that I've learned, she's worse during the day than at night.

At night, you know, the doctor said give her Motrin, and so that's what we've been doing, and she sleeps pretty well through the night, like maybe wakes up once. But during the day, she is like boss, baby, unhappy doing 90% of things. So the biggest thing that I was told, which now I tried today and she was obsessed, was a frozen ice pop or a frozen banana. So it's something they want to suck on because Dove doesn't want to hold on to like a, you know, the plastic things or whatever they, are that get frozen. She doesn't like putting that in her mouth, but if it's sweet, she'll do it.

And then frozen waffles. And a lot of people said that there's something, I haven't tried this yet. I put it in my Amazon cart, you know, immediate buy yesterday. Was that pumpkin oil? People are like upset. Oh, yeah, yeah. Do you say pumpkin instead of pumpkin? No, it's called pumpkin. It's called pumpkin. It's called pumpkin. I was about to be in the end right now. What are you talking about? My bad. We're going to have to try that. Yeah, she actually, side note, we are taking her to the doctor because we aren't sure if it's teeth or like an ear infection. So we're trying to figure that out.

On another parenting note, a little more serious. Well, not that molars aren't serious. But so I'm curious, Edwin, I know you have an amazing career. You've been working or you've founded Skyline Security 17 years ago. Is that right? 17 years ago, I've been in the business now 22 years. Wild. And Teddy, you have your whole long resume, including forming all in, which I'm excited to talk about. But you mentioned kind of what you envisioned your family looking like. How do you see you balancing family life with your

career and what are some proactive steps that you take to make that happen? I feel like we're just starting out on our parenting journey and there's already been so many discussions and so much conflict on like, oh, well, I want to work until six because I love what I do, but that comes at the expense of, you know, spending time with my child. So I'm curious, do you have any wisdom in regards to that? I think from a young age, I always envisioned myself having a family of four and I literally would visualize that. And for me, I was intentional about making sure that I I put in the time so that by the time my kids were five and six, I'd be in a position where I wouldn't have to miss anything of theirs because I realized that at five years old is

really when they start remembering things. And one of the things that Teddy and I have done is we've had discussions because there's times where I have to work Monday through Friday and sometimes I don't finish till eight, nine o'clock. And I don't come back at six o'clock because I'd like to. And what I told Teddy was like, look, even if I come back at six, if I'm not present, it's not, I might as well not be there, but I'll make it up on weekends. And in those weekends, I'll spend 16 hours, eight hours a day, making sure that I'm present and I'm there instead of maybe not, you know, coming back at six, but not being present in those times. That was a good negotiation talk that we had. And it's worked out great, you know, for us.

Because before we had the conversation, what would happen was I would be texting, you know, especially when Slate was a baby and, you know, I had both of them, you know, whatever, it was 18 months apart and I had the two. I would just be like, are you going to be home for family dinner? I was obsessed about family dinner because I never had it. And I thought it was something like we needed to have every night. And I would honestly, I was relentless on how much I needed him home. And he would come home and you could tell he was stressed. So we just kind of came up with. the solution. And I was like, listen, one, we need to have a shared calendar. Two, I'm okay if you need to work till eight o'clock Monday through Friday. But truthfully, Saturday, Sunday, I don't want to hear it. Like, I'm going to go play golf with the boys for seven hours or like we do this basketball thing. Like, you need to figure out how to schedule your time with your people that you need that's, you know, personal on the weekdays then. Go out to a guy's dinner during the week because weekends have to be dedicated to us because then at least like I know what to expect and you know what as the years have gone on it's actually shifted and he is there more for family dinner and during COVID we got to

have lunch together every day like so there's ways that your relationship grows and your family dynamic changes but I think you have to keep talking about it as your life shifts like and I think that having that conversation and saying where you're struggling is so important because when I wouldn't. I was always like this. I was like white knuckling it, you know, just like, oh, is it, are we going to have this perfect situation? And then I was anxious. He was annoyed and we just weren't communicating. So it really is just communication is key. We wake up every day 30 minutes before we start our workout or anything. We do our devotional. We talk about our day. We meditate. And that really sets the tone and connects us and like our intimacy, our conversation.

And so we know what to expect each day as we go into it. And you had to sacrifice some things, right? I used to play four-hour session, basketball games on Saturdays with my buddies. And so now I try to do that during the week. And again, weekends are kind of like for the kids. And again, I'm enjoying it. So, but yeah, every time, any, anything you're passionate about you, you got to be willing to sacrifice.

If you're not willing to sacrifice, that means you're probably not passionate about it. I feel like we might have to have like a restructuring conversation later. I like this idea. Well, I love the morning routine. I like an idea a lot. Sean and I always kind of debrief, I feel like how the day went, but we actually rarely establish like a morning routine and talk about how the day's about to go.

And to your point, almost, I feel like it's a little bit about expectations is what you're talking about. Like, oh, as long as I know that I get you on the weekends, you can work till eight. But we never kind of talk about the expectations moving forward of, hey, today I'm going to have to work late just because I'm looking at the schedule. And anyway, we can definitely improve on that. Yeah, I like it. And I don't know about Sean.

Like I have zero interest in talking at night before bed. No, no. Like that's how I am. I am tired. I like I've been working. I have the kids. I've been juggling four different people's schedules, including my own that's extremely busy.

So it's like I when he comes in and he's like, and you can tell you like it's like he wanted to check things off the checklist. I'm like, I'm cool. Talk to the book. I'm cool. Like I love a good title. I'm happy to do other things, but I don't want to chat right now. Chating for me is in the morning.

I would say I am very similar because I just like want to watch TV and cuddle. Like for I just want to decompress. But it's truly only the time that we get to like have a conversation. So then I'm like, okay, I need some energy to like debrief the day. It's tough, man. Yeah. Stuff. You got to set the tone.

I mean, do whatever works for you. If you're not a morning person, then do night. But I'm not night. I know me. It's just getting to know yourself. and what works for you and what feels best. A big thing with the morning thing is just cultivating gratitude in the morning. I think especially if you're struggling with faith,

you know, one of the ways you'd fix that is increasing your gratitude. And so every morning, what I do is ask myself seven questions every morning. It's the first thing I do when I wake up, which is what am I excited about? What am I, I'm sorry, what am I happy about? What am I excited about? What am I grateful for? what am I proud of, what am I excited about, what am I committed to, and what do I love, who do I love? And then the sub-question of that is, what about it makes me feel that way?

And the great thing about those questions is, well, first of all, the first thing you do, most people do when they wake up is they worry, right? So the last thing you want to do is pick up your phone and look at Instagram because it's just going to make it even worse about worried and how everybody's got a better life than you, right? But for instance, I remember one time, I'm asking myself these questions is my, my wife asked me, can you get me some coffee as I'm asking myself these questions? So I, of course, say, no, I'm busy. I got, I got to go. And then as I'm making myself coffee, I ask myself, what am I committed to? My wife, what about it makes you feel? Oh, crap. I got to go get her a coffee. So I got to the coffee. And now it brings it every day. It's like our new thing. And he's never done that in 10 years. So I think it's just, you know that your relationship, no marriage is perfect. No parents are perfect. It's impossible to think that that's true.

But if you're continually willing to put in the work with each other for each other, for yourself, then you're going to be happier ultimately. And the goal that we all want is peace. Edwin, I know you talk about faith quite a bit on your Instagram. I'm curious, from a devotional standpoint, I found that, especially when COVID hit like Sean and I used to have daily talking prompts based off of kind of like the news and then it turned like it was so crisis oriented every single day so we we've done the devotional and it's been so nice to kind of have a a faith based topic of discussion where we actually get to discover like learn about

each other do you have any tips on a devotion that you love or recommendations on that so what's ours called it's uh i like well i in addition to that one that's one of a couple one i i have uh the hope bible by joel olstein which breaks down kind of verses and and uh really simplifies what uh what they're trying to say and you know a lot of especially success principles people don't realize this about the bible but a lot of the success principles that people talk about are actually in the bible just people don't take the time to read it. But if you, one of my favorites is Proverbs.

If you look at the book of Proverbs and you just follow those principles, like you're going to do pretty well for yourself. And our favorite couple one, it's called Our Best Life Together. And it's really good. And it honestly, it takes two minutes to read it. And it just like really sets the tone for the day together. And then I love that. The conversation.

And I didn't grow up going to church or anything like that. That's something we, that was one of our also conversations. because originally, I didn't really, I didn't know anything about faith or I thought that I put religion in this box that like was not for me. And then I realized that faith is something completely different. And I realized that, you know, some of the things that I was judging were things I didn't actually know about. And it was because I was seeing one version of like Christianity, not like what is forgiving and God is forgiving God and a loving God and that he brings you peace. And he, you know, can give you answers and he's filling up your heart.

And so I think those are things that I've learned throughout the years. And I saw that how our life has changed when we are together in our love of Christ. One of the conversations I had with her is like, if you want this marriage to work, you got to make sure I go to church every Sunday. And if I start getting away from that, you got to help me get back in there else it's not going to work. And she's been great, especially at the beginning. Because I knew basically a little bit of my weaknesses and stuff. out. So I knew that I needed to make sure that that my faith was was the number one thing

in my life. It's a really like self-aware thing to ask from your spouse. Yeah. It usually takes a lot of people a very, very long time to come to a conclusion where they can say, here are my weaknesses and I need to do this to like protect us. But the fact that you said that early on is really, really cool I would love to take it not I don't want to take it dark but take it back a little bit when you guys were meeting and you guys were getting serious and talking about potentially marriage we have a lot of conversations with people who are coming from a divorced marriage or coming from a blended family or whatever their their situation might be with you guys what was your individual hurdle that you had to overcome whether it was like trusting again a relationship

that could turn into a marriage or trusting Teddy with your with your baby what were what were those like hurdles that you had to overcome to like find each other within a marriage I would say for me um I've always struggled with like my self-worth you know I've always tied I'm a high achiever, but I tie it to that. And so when it comes to actually trusting that somebody loves me is really hard for me. And, you know, having that perfectionist personality type that I have, it's hard to, I have a harder time being affectionate and being vulnerable. When I can do it publicly, I can say like, these are my struggles.

But when it's with us, it's something I have to consistently work on. And I think that at the beginning, I wasn't comfortable working on myself. And I think that with years, I've really, you know, invested the time and the energy to go to therapy, to learn, to figure out what it is that was happening. Because I really just thought, this is who I am. And it can't change. And that can be really hurtful. But then having those conversations with him, like, you know, you help me, like hold me and show me what it's like to have these feelings. because I grew up where I was, everything's fine.

Everything's great all the time. So for me, that's it. Yeah, I think with me, the biggest struggle was probably, I didn't believe in marriage. You know, everyone that I saw getting married was getting a divorce. So I had a trust in that marriage and my fear of it of it was what if, you know, you wake up five years from now and you don't want to be married to me, you know? And I remember telling her the story of like, hey,

I don't have the type of money that I can afford to get divorced because I help my entire family. So if one day you wake up and you don't want to be with me, you know, I also got to think about my family in regards to it. So that was, I think, a big struggle. I obviously seen, you know, coming from a broken family where, you know, my dad really wasn't around and, you know, coming from basically all my life, I was pretty much single. and a big part of me that I feared was am I going to be able to be faithful, right? Because my biggest weakness at the time was women, right? That was anything else I was really good with, right?

That was responsible, but that part of my life was a big weakness for me going into it. That was very, very scary for me because I didn't know if I could do that. And that's where a lot of the faith came from, you know, because I talked. about earlier about I always envisioned being a family man and not being divorced. That was my dream, you know? And I always think that God places these dreams, your heart, these big dreams, right? Not the ones that you settle for, but the big dreams that are in your heart. And it's not necessarily for you to accomplish them, but it's necessarily, I think it's more to draw you closer to him because eventually you realize you can't do it by yourself. And, uh,

When you achieve those dreams, I think it's one of the greatest validations about your faith because, you know, it shows that he is there for you, right? And I think that's why it's so crippling to give up on your dreams, because when you give up on your dreams, there's a part of yourself that just doesn't get as close to your faith as you would have by accomplishing those dreams with God. and you know that could be interpreted to different areas of your of your life whether that's business faith you know this guy's preaching today i love it i love it um it's it's cool to see i think you more than i mean we've done 50 of these episodes at this point and you maybe more than

any other couple view marriage as like this self-improvement tool in a good way not like not using marriage with the goal of changing yourself and the other, but like understanding that that's the power of it. And I think that's, that's pretty powerful. I'm curious, aside from what teeth whitener you use, you guys have just insane teeth. Both of you, it's insane. Look at that. You see that? I'm about to be black. Do you guys work out together? I'm curious about that. We do. We do. No way. Yes. No, we are like that couple, like where we're. You know, we try to or, and also we, you know, we have the luxury now where we do have help. So we, I, the fact that we have the opportunity to work out together is huge because that wasn't an option for us to do that when, you know, Cruz was a baby or Slate was a baby or even Bell was a baby, you know, any of those things.

So this is a newer thing, you know, four babies in that we have someone amazing that helps us. And it's incredible. and we love her and she's part of our family and she does such a wonderful job. She's such a loving caregiver that we feel comfortable to leave at six in the morning and go to a hot yoga class together. But it is a luxury and we don't take it for granted. It's not something that existed before. But like that's where we've shared dates.

Like tomorrow I'm like, hey, 630 hot eight, we going? We're doing it. Yep, let's go. We did one of those classes. No, no, no. So we used to do hot eight all the time when we lived in L.A. No, we did it one time. I did it all the time.

But it had been a while and he had never been. And I signed up for some random class that I didn't even look at. It was just like convening with time. Dude. And we got there. And I don't remember what it was, but it was a two hour intensive. And we didn't realize it until we got about an hour in. And she's like, okay, everyone take a deep breath.

Here we go for the next hour. And we both. So we had to walk out of the. Sean will tell you like when I when I get warm I'm just at my worst so like I'll always have my shirt off just so I don't sweat and I just get super irritable and so I'd never done hot yoga we go in there we're 45 minutes in I'm like pan you know that feeling I'd never felt as mentally weak as we left and then yeah left and as we're walking out they they were like they said something it was like an unfortunate comment like it's really unfortunate you guys are leaving

We're like, I'm sorry, we can't do this. Yeah. Anyway, Sean and I do some tricks on you with that, with that class here. But I never do two hours. I'm done at the hour. Like, I'm ready. I'm dread. Yeah.

I'm feeling better. Sean and I used to try to work out together, but she's way too intense for me. We can work out now. I said, I'm out. Oh, yeah, because now you were seven months pregnant. Yeah. Very. So are we.

I mean, I broke me. Yeah. Pickle ball one on one with him because I was so upset about having to win. Absolutely. What, you guys pickle? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, let's throw down.

It's more like I pickled, Teddy. It's more like he pickles. And I just, I love it. Right? Yeah. I love that. Okay, so Teddy, speaking of working out, I would love for you to talk about All In. Tell us about All In what the inspiration was.

and what you have going. Okay, so it starts back to our marriage. So after I had, you know, I talked about how I started off riding horses and that's what I did professionally and I loved it. I lived it and breathed it. It was, you know, my purpose. And, you know, then I married, Edwin, you know, I have, you know, Isabella is an amazing stepdaughter, life starting to switch.

We get, you know, we're starting to talk about having kids. I always just thought like, you know, I'd get pregnant. I didn't. Um, with Slate, I got pregnant on via insemination. And then with Cruz, um, I had to do multiple rounds of IVF. I had a couple of miscarriages. Things were rough. Like, it was a really rough time. It had gotten to the point where like the IVF doctor said to me, if it doesn't work with Cruz, you're done. We're taking a break. I'm not saying forever, but, and like my dad and Edwin both in the same conversation with me, they were like, we're losing you. We don't even know what's going on

with you. And like, we need you to like pump the brakes a little bit because we can tell this is taking a massive toll. And then I got pregnant with Cruz and I had always had a weird relationship when it came to my body image because of riding horses. And I never was learned or given the information on how to even eat properly. Like growing up, I lived off and like diet. Dr. Pepper and string cheese and like that was it. And then you know, you got to look good in these beige skin type pants and that's, you know, so I didn't know. And then so I was always, you know, not conscious of it growing up, I just didn't take care of myself. And then I moved out to Los Angeles and I gained a bunch of weight and then lost it and not doing some weird crazy fad diets.

And then after Cruz, I realized like some of my old feelings were coming back where I was was like gaining a bunch of weight post baby and I had gotten some postpartum like really bad anxiety and had gotten to the point where like edwin would come home from work and I would look to him to validate my day to validate my life to validate me I wasn't looking to myself I was looking to him which you never want to you want to create your own self worth you want to believe in yourself you want to take action and I'd gotten to that point where misery loves company I would complain to people I just was like just and it was it was creating a gap between us it was also I was being so mean to myself and I was sick of it and I just without telling anybody

because nobody was going to believe me anyway because I was you know I never kept promises to myself because I didn't have you know my self-worth was flawed and I said I'm going to start an Instagram account today and I'm going to change my life and I just I my name was LA workout junkie at the time and I just said hi my name is Teddy Mellenkip Riave I'm changing my life today follow along if you're interested. And for 365 days, I posted my workouts, the food I was going to eat. I started educating myself. I got certified, like all of these different things. And, you know, I made some missteps. I did some things right. But ultimately, I had a huge transformation physically and mentally. And people were seeing it. Because, of course, it started growing a following

because people either want to see you succeed or they want to see you fail. They want to they want to see the ride you're on. But what Instagram was doing for me was it was holding me accountable. I was actually keeping promises to myself. Now of a sudden I trust myself. Now of a sudden I realize like I can tell myself I'm going to do something and actually do it. And Instagram created that accountability portion to it. People started reaching out to me and saying, hey, I want to do what you're doing. Even the way you speak has changed because you have this life inside of it. you now. We can see this. Your eyes no longer look glazed over in gray. Like you have a happiness and a lightness to you. Like, we want that. But we don't want to do it on Instagram. So I started

doing it with a small group of people. I ended up running about 40 clients at a time. And I had a very small mindset when it came to being an entrepreneur. Like I was like, listen, I just like helping people and I don't, I don't need to scale. And it had gotten to the point where I was like, okay, I can can't do anymore. And I was, you know, getting more and more inquiries. So then I decided what I was going to do was only promote people from within. So, of course, I get housewives at this point, you know, the business is doing well. And people are trying to buy my company. They're saying that I have this platform to speak on it. And they're saying, okay, great, you know, hire all these personal trainers from around L.A. And let's just, let's blow it all out. And like, you could be making millions

and millions and millions. And I was like, no, absolutely not because I would never trust somebody. I would never open up to somebody that hasn't felt the struggle. Every single one of our coaches practices what they preach. There's now, you know, over 40 of us coaches. We've changed over 20,000 lives. We hold you accountable to your health and fitness goals. And I mean, it is my, not only do I love it so much and it gives me that feeling of like, wow, this person is feeling better because yeah, it may start off looking like weight loss, but it's so much more. It is about showing up and finally asking that boss for a raise. It's about leaving that cheating husband or, you know, having that conversation. It's about, you know, being able to feel comfortable in your own skin and

hang out with your family and do the things that you want to do that you've been hiding from because you're not taking care of yourself. And it's not about the physical transformation. It's about what's happening here and what's happening here. So in your heart and in your brain. And like for me, especially with mental health, when you move, when you breathe, when you eat foods that actually fuel your body that aren't diet, Dr. Pepper and String cheese, you actually feel good. And so that's that's really how all in started.

And now, I mean, it's really been a passion project. I mean, even when I first started, he was like, what are you doing? Like, what? And I mean, now it's, you know, it's a huge company and I just feel really proud and I love it so much wow I mean everything you said hey at home we I went through everything basically I feel like we could relate on so many levels um with gymnastics just the perfectionism and not knowing how to eat not knowing how to treat your body and putting yourself worth into your like your basically occupation or your performance all of it

yeah so tell us what all in does differently than maybe some other programs if you don't mind So, I mean, what changes it is that you're actually with an actual human being. You are not, this isn't a bot, this isn't an app, this isn't anything. You are with somebody who, so like if you signed up and you say, you know, one of the things that you're, you know, struggling with is you have social anxiety or blah, blah, blah, I'm going to match you with a coach that has a similar type situation, a similar type of thing that they've been going through. And then we hold you accountable.

So you're sending your breakfast, lunch, dinner, your snacks. your proof of activity, which could be anything, a stroller walk with your kids, a hot yoga, a regular yoga, oh, just any kind of, any kind of movement. And we hold you accountable to it. And then if you don't do it, what actually works is you're out. So if, you know, there's one day, unless there's an emergency like this happened and you need to, you know, whatever, of course we understand. But if it's like, oh, you know what, I don't feel like having lunch today, it's been busy. I'm just not in the mood. I'm over it. Okay, well, we wish you the best. Here is the original thing that you wrote in saying why you wanted to join and why you wanted to change your

life. This is what you said. So I just wanted to remind you of that. I believe in you when you're ready, we're here. And either at that point, you'll read your words that you wrote in, you know, whatever it was two weeks ago. And you're like, oh, my, I, of course I'm going to do this. Why would I give up on myself right now? Or you go, okay. And then they come back when they're ready. So I think the biggest thing is we're not forcing anyone to do anything. It's not like a gym membership where like you're paying and you don't realize what you're getting and you can block it out if you're not going. It's like we're there.

Every single morning, you get a morning message from us. Hey, good morning. What's going on? What's your plan for the day? Let's talk it through. Oh, here. This is a picture of this. This is what I'm thinking of here.

You know, and then you start sharing your successes and you have that community of the group. Because once you've gone all in, we're all in this together. and like we are rooting for each other and I think you know as much as it's hard to say especially with women it's really hard to find that it's really hard to find supportive women who really just want the best for you and that's what this is what do you say to people who are like man kick me out of the group that seems a little bit harsh you you knew what you signed up for like we say our first email exchange is if you're not going to fall if this isn't something you're ready for, you know, think about signing up because these are the ground rules.

I am a, I'm a part of a mentorship group where we had to sign essentially like a commitment letter and have your wife sign it as well, saying that you would make every single meeting, it's on a monthly basis. You would read the book that was assigned. You do like the essentially homework that was assigned. And if you didn't, you'd be kicked out. And, uh, it. It's interesting, like, we've had so many discussions based off of that level, like, just the commitment mechanism of, gosh, it's just, it's ridiculous. Like, I was playing in the NFL and I had to fly back from practice. I had to miss a day of practice fly back in order to make one of these meetings.

And it was like, this seems so stupid. But then once you actually like, you know, dive in all the way and do what you said you were going to do, it's, it's an interesting effect. they're like, oh, what if I committed to everything in my life like this? What if I like challenge myself to actually show up each day to the gym like I said I would or show up and do my devotion? And it's just like, I don't know, I think having some something at stake is an interesting methodology. So. Yeah. And if you invest in yourself, if you have skin in the game, so like you've paid for two weeks, you're there hearing from us, you know, we're your concierge health

coach you know like we are there we're accountability we are there to hold you accountable we tell you from the beginning prior to signing up so it's like we're not blindsiding you after and i think that's you make the and so when you make the choice to invest in yourself and then you make the choice to throw your money away that's a that's a big choice and that's why people are like well what you know i just don't want to spend the money well because you're you're not ready and i think You know, oftentimes my biggest excuse was, well, you know, I can't do this because I don't have a personal chef or I don't have a personal trainer. I don't have these things. It actually has nothing to do with any of that. There are so many simple things that you can do. We help you grocery shop. We show you the best things to buy that are frozen, different price points all across the board so that you can educate yourself and learn because if not, we're just full of excuses and people are constantly looking for motivation, but they're not talking about commitment. Motivation waivers. one million percent like i i'm not motivated every day but i'm committed as with uh we we have a ton of friends in the health and wellness space sorry are you good yeah she's called sorry we have a ton of friends

in the health and wellness space and i i mean it's such a tough industry to be in as far as what if it's a diet or a nutrition program that you're talking about there's no lack of criticism if it's a supplement you're talking about there's no lack of criticism about the ingredients I know that there's been some, as with everything in the industry, some criticism. What do you, I don't know what the main points of criticism are, but how do you address those? You know, I think I just go back to our mission statement. And our mission is to help people create a lifestyle that makes them feel good. And this is an optional program that you sign up to do.

We're not showing up at your house knocking on the door saying, hey, you want to go all in on you? this is something that people are deciding to do. They're asking for us to hold them accountable because they're not to a place where they can hold themselves accountable. And that's really all it's about. And that's the beauty of it. And I believe in it.

I live it. I breathe it. I preach it. And my ultimate goal is always good. So that's, you know, that's really all I can say. And it's not for everyone. Here's the beauty of it.

It's not for everyone. Don't do it. If you don't want to do it, you don't have to. don't go on my website, don't follow me on your choices. And that's the thing, you know, people, especially during the pandemic right now, like, yes, we're getting so many more clients because people want that community. But people are also becoming keyboard warriors on social media because they have so much time

on their hands. And instead of focusing that time to feel better, to do things that are good, they're doing it to try to hurt other people to make themselves feel good. And if you're only feeling good when you're hurting somebody else, it's not going to last. I'm just curious. This is kind of going off a side note, thought. But within your guys' relationship, you guys have lived a very public life to a certain extent, just with being on TV and now this and social media.

How do you guys balance, as you would say, the keyboard warriors? How do you guys protect your family? from opinions of the world he gets it pretty light he get a pretty light yeah he's he gets it uh stay out of twitter that's for sure yeah oh my gosh twitter is not our friend yeah no um but he gets it pretty light for me um you know i as somebody who's you know a big portion of their business in life is through instagram i have to pick the times you know like a lot of people are like you need to be in your dms and messaging on your DMs all the time. This is how you create engagement.

You know, I have to kind of pump the brakes on that. There's one day a week that I'll go in and look and maybe respond to some, but then I try to do Insta Q&As and other things like that because also in those DMs can also be really hurtful things. And it's not something I need to subject myself to every day. So, you know, I think there's other ways to engage and let people know that follow you that you're there for them and you're hearing them than having to hear everybody's opinion. And I also have to remember if everybody liked me, if everybody liked everything that I did,

I wouldn't be who I was and I'd be doing something wrong. So I can't, you know, but I can't say that it hasn't hurt my feelings from time to time. People that are like, I never, I never care rolls off my back. There is something that somebody's going to say, you know, if somebody comments on my kids, it you know i'm tricked i'm like and i just have to like take a deep breath and then it really depends on my mood am i going to block you are i'm like am i going to block you or am i going to give you a little but i try to block 99% of the time occasionally i'll give you a little uppercut i just kill him with kindness yeah that's what he does and i wish i could do that

but i'm not very good at it or don't address it at all and then you don't you don't endorse that behavior. But Teddy, I'm curious having your father was very well known as a musician. Do you have any tips for us? This is something, and I'm sure you guys had these discussions. Like, when I married Sean, my parents were super hesitant because they're like, you know, fame brings with it so much complexity, especially when it comes to your kids. What, like retrospectively do you think your dad did, well, you don't have to talk about your dad. But what? How are you raising your kids with that in mind? I think the biggest tool that my parents gave me from a young age is anything that you want, you have to work for.

So for me, that is huge with our kids. Like if, you know, they ride horses too. So I'm like, if you want to ride, that doesn't, you know, most L.A. kids, they show up. They get on the pony or the horse. They don't tack it up. They don't know how to take care of it. They don't know how to do anything. They ride it.

They have their one hour lesson and they piece out. with my kids. I'm like, no, you're getting there early. We're getting them ready. You're helping do everything. You're learning. You're learning the parts of the horse. You're going to, afterwards, you're going to learn how to clean poop. Then you're going to give them a bath. You're going to do all of those aspects are important. You know, regardless of it's making your bed or doing your chores or not chores you get paid to do. You're doing the things that you have to do to take care of yourself and to also elevate forward. And I think that's really the biggest thing that my parents did for me is like when I moved out here at 17, they said, listen, if you're not

going to college, that's, that's fine. But like, we're not paying for you to live out there. So you got to figure it out. So I got two jobs. I worked really hard. I, you know, I figured it out. And because of that, I've worked really hard almost every day of my life because that's what I believe in. And I think it's the same thing with our kids. Like we want them to know that we believe in like a strong work ethic and talking to them like some days if i know my work is going to be really busy i tell them like hey guys mommy's day is really busy today i love you so much but i need you to know that like mommy's work and i need you know it's not about you and i got you tomorrow like it's all you know game time on tomorrow so it's just in those conversations so that they have a healthy relationship

with with work with life with you know knowing that some days are going to be more more skewed towards work. Some days they're going to be more skewed towards family. Some days, mommy's going to want to hang out with her friends. You've got to just have all the conversation. So I think that's huge. That's good. Edwin, how was your experience on reality TV? I try to stay out as much of it as possible. You know, the husbands, you know, at least for me, I realized very quickly that they didn't really care about me. They care about the lady. And if I try to make a scene, it's not probably going to go well for me. So I try to stay away from it.

I mean, there's obviously the perks of it. Like we got to do some pretty cool stuff with the family. It helped the business quite a bit, you know, in that it exposed it in regards to the success that we've had over the years that I didn't necessarily want to, you know, show people. But whenever you can have third party verification, do it for you, it's always a good thing. Are you talking about one of Inc's fastest growing private companies in America for three years in a row? Is that the type of success you're alluding to? Well done.

Seriously, that's amazing. Yeah, no, thank you. Yeah. It's been a good run. Yeah. You guys truly seem, I don't want to say to have figured it out because I don't feel like that's possible within a marriage. But you guys have really good boundaries and foundations and experiences that I think a lot of people will benefit from listening to. If you were to sum up the past 12 years, you guys have known each other from when you met each other to now your beautiful four babies, I asked this in the last interview and I'm actually curious.

What's the one piece of advice you would give your children about relationships? I'd say for me, the first thing that comes to mind is patience, right? Teddy's been great with that. I don't know how great I've been. I think I've been okay. but Teddy's patient has just been I mean there's many times where this marriage probably could have ended and she was she was patient she knew kind of the struggles I was going through and and I think she knew my heart you know and at the end of the day you know it's a progress and I just

you know I think back you know how close we we came really close to separating and And it ends, you know, sometimes you got to go through that. It's just like anything. Anytime you go through some struggles, you're going to come out better because of it. And I've, you know, I'm the happiest I've ever been. I probably have the most love, joy, and peace that I've ever had in my life. And, you know, Teddy's a big reason because of that. And I think I'd tell my kids to, you know, make sure that, that, that, you know,

that person's got that heart of love. I mean, we try to instill that every day with our kids. We watch Superbook all the time together. And really what God is is God is love. And if you have love in your heart, you're going to want to serve people first. You're going to have abundance in your heart. Wait, Superbook? Yeah, it's for kids.

What, I've never heard of it. It's like Veggie Tales? It's automated stories of like. Animated by. Did you tell us? Oh, dang. Yeah, that's been huge for us and the kids. And then them just understanding the importance of kind of serving first.

And, you know, when you serve people first, you're going to influence people. When you influence, you could lead them. And then you could make some positive impact in this world. I mean, patience, of course, is my strong. No, just kidding. But for me, I mean, a big portion is laughter. sometimes we get so caught up and our life and our things is like we need to remember to laugh like we like each other we actually can't you know what even we're laughing at or with it doesn't matter

like we need to constantly remind each other that like this is we're not just like business associates this is our life so we got to laugh we got to have fun that's huge um and communication communication it is the biggest thing you know I think at the beginning when we were in that struggle. It was because we weren't communicating. We weren't saying what we needed. What do I need in order to be with you? What do you need? What is it that's missing? And do things? Constantly trying new things. I mean, like, even something as silly is doing like the five love languages. Learn what yours is. I would have had no idea that mine was words of affirmation. I thought mine was quality time. No, it's words of affirmation. His is acts of service. I hate doing acts of service. I'm like, oh my gosh, but now I do it because I know that's how he feels love. I'm like, all right, I'll put his lunch together.

It'll make him feel special. Here we go. But it's things that you learn when you actually do the work to learn and grow together versus, you know, avoid and grow apart. And I think that that's the beauty of it. We are learning and growing together versus avoiding and growing apart. I love that. I love how you phrase that doing something as silly as the five love languages.

It's like, I feel like there is so many times where, oh, we could do this devotional or we could have this discussion or we could go to the zoo or whatever it is. It's like, ah, you could write it off as silly or be like, you know what, why not? Like this could draw us closer. I could learn about myself and learn about you. I like how you phrase that. I will agree with Sean and saying that it seems like, you know, you guys do have a lot of things figured out except for one thing. and that's how to beat Sean and I in Pickleball. So here's what I'm proposing.

Here's what I'm saying. Next time we're out in L.A., we're going to meet up. We'll have a pickleball extravaganza. Best two out of three games. The winner treats the other person to dinner at the restaurant of their choice. I'm just going to throw that out there. Love it. Done.

What's your favorite L.A. restaurant, guys? Right now, all I want is sushi since I can't have it. So she's saying, she's saying, yeah. we'll have it in honor today for lunch okay thank you wait what's your favorite restaurant my favorite well his is katana i love craig and i also what else do i love i love chakonies yeah we haven't been that one we've been to chicanis i also love a good steak so you know yeah mastros love that uh hey well we appreciate your time it's a true pleasure to meet you We are impressed with so much of what you built also in how you've approached both your triumphs and your and your, you know, mistakes that may have been made.

And we respect you as a couple. So hope we can continue this relationship and this was fun. No, we would love it too. How many weeks until you little baby comes? Oh gosh. Too long. July, the middle of July. Coming quick.

Well, congratulations. If you need anything at all, we are here. Thank you.